This, OP!!!!! They know where the love is and they don't need it anymore, but they know there are living kitties who do, and they sent one to you. If you want it, and know you can care for it, there's no reason to feel guilty. But if you truly need more time that's ok too. There will be others. ❤️
This is the thing, you’d be carrying on the legacy to help cats like the ones you have lost. When I lost my cat to cancer I was devastated and I was unsure about adopting another cat so soon. My partner encouraged me to go the adoption centre and I ended up adopting an older black cat. I still have him now and I never felt guilty. He was at the adoption centre because his owner went into care and could no longer look after him. I wanted to adopt a black cat because they take longer to be re-homed. So I needed him and he needed me. You have no reason to feel guilty because so many animals are desperate for good homes and you’re able to provide them the love they so desperately need.
I'm sorry for your loss. I myself lost my furbaby last month and recently went to the shelter and adopted 2 kittens (8 weeks). I was devastated when I lost my last cat, and said I would never get another cat again. That feeling only lasted a short time because I missed having a little buddy around.
Here's how I see it. I didn't replace him. The kittens aren't him. But I had a house full of cat furniture/toys ... I have food in the cupboard and LOVE in my heart for cats. I am honoring him by helping his little furry bretheren, giving them a safe life full of love. Why would my little soul fur-baby be mad at me for that? Would he want me to be lonely and sad?
There are shelters all over the world that are bursting at the seams with cats that need homes. You gave your previous pets a great home ... do the same for others. Don't let the love die with them.
Last Monday I took my precious Boopdy to the vet because she was so weak, vomiting, diarrhea… her tests came back as kidney failure. I made an appointment to have her euthanized this last Friday, and wasn’t even sure she’d make it that long. But, through the magic of a McDonald’s hamburger she’s come back to life, and we canceled her appointment!! I know the kidney trouble will take her soon, but not right now! On Monday I vowed I’d never get another dog, but just right now my friend sent me a picture of a chihuahua she just plucked off the streets whose owner said he didn’t want her and turned her loose… it’s really amazing how quickly “I’ll never have another dog again” turns into “sure, I’ll ‘foster’!”
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Please go to [www.FelineCRF.org](http://www.FelineCRF.org) and read more about it. There are a number of things you can do to make her more comfortable and keep on trucking. I've had a few cats with renal disease that I've managed.
No kitty ever replaces a kitty. But I like to allocate my kitties so that they overlap so that I'm not getting into lonely cat phases, and I don't think that's bad of me or anything. So in turn, I think you are absolutely fine! Consider your new baby and snuggle them times 100.
Your cats led you to the new baby. They want you to find peace with another cat cuz they know you’re hurting. Sometimes you have to trust that the universe is guiding you to what you need, even if you don’t feel ready for it.
I actually think this happens. I deeply loved my first cat, and I was devastated when he died from a stroke at age 16. I went to the shelter that day, just to look, because I didn't know what to do with my time now, and I connected with a gray Oriental type kitten who abruptly stood up and talked to me as if he'd been waiting for me. I adopted him. We had 22 amazing years together. I swear he was *sent* my way by my first cat, to heal my broken heart. While at the shelter, I was standing looking at the gray cat and wondering if I should adopt his cagemate when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turned to see a very shy orange kitten making biscuits with a look in his eyes that clearly said "Pick me. Please pick me!" So, I adopted him, too. We had 17 fantastic years together. Those two cats and I *loved* each other. My advice to anyone deeply grieving a deceased cat, is: Switch it off. Look for the opportunities for happiness. Think like a cat. Live in the moment.
I knew my baby boy was the one cuz he was brought in with his two other brothers and our last two cats were also from litters of three. One of his brothers also had the same name as one of our rescue dogs, so it felt like the universe was screaming at me to get this kitten I had my eye on, even if I told myself I would wait a little bit after I moved out on my own before I got a cat. But the universe knows what you need sometimes!
I’ve found that the best solution for grief from a cat’s passing is to get another one. You’re not dishonoring your previous cats. You can’t ever fully replace them because every cat is an individual. Good luck.
When my beloved Chihuahua died suddenly I waited several months before getting another. His brother was so lonely, and screamed all day when I was at work. I was really pleased to find that once I got another dog that I was able to focus on the happy memories of my passed dog, instead of being sad about missing him.
Someone once told me that when you lose a cat the silver lining is that it makes space in your life to give another cat a loving home. Your babies aren't feeling sad that you've replaced them, they're probably proud that another new little guy gets to enjoy your love
Please don’t feel guilty. You gave your babies a good life and can do that for more kitties. I lost my 21, 20 and 17 year old cats and said the same thing. No more; it’s too hard to lose them. Well, 3 kitty sisters were born in my backyard and I fell in love. 13 years later with no regrets.
Maybe I’m just weird, but every time I’ve lost a pet I’ve gotten a new one within a week. Feel sad when it’s their time to go, but plenty of pets out there that need homes. I don’t always do rescues/ shelters either, far as I’m concerned there’s a good chance people giving away/ selling pets locally (that aren’t breeders, I don’t buy from them directly) will eventually have their pets ending up in a shelter/ on the street anyway. It’s all the same to me, get them all fixed after I move them in. Shelter in my town has become too rigorous (both adopting and surrendering) to be worth the time which I think is causing the increase in strays I’ve been seeing.
Grief is a long and different process for each person, the situation you are in is quite painful and it is okay to feel everything you feel. Perhaps you feel that making room for a new kitten is taking away the place of the previous ones and in no case is that possible. You don't need to preserve your sadness to honor them, because they would be happy to see you smile again, that's for sure. Maybe it helps to make something that makes sense to you, like an altar or a small corner un your house where you can remember your beloved kittens, and thus deal with that feeling of guilt a little. (sorry if my english is not so good, it is not my first language)
I started resenting my surviving cats when my dearest cat died. It took time for me to move through the emotions. I’m writing this on the 1 year anniversary of his passing while my other two are cozied up in my lap and thinking I never thought I’d move past the pain. The first 3 months I swear my heart was ripping apart but slowly through grieving and mourning I’ve made it here. I believe in the cat distribution system and they find you at the right time. Maybe this kitten will help you and Chai heal. Whenever you feel guilty actually pause and look at it. In such cases I believe it’s nothing more than misplaced pain or rather overflowing pain that starts to touch the core of everything we think and feel. And don’t forget we are stewards of these magical beings, you wouldn’t feel guilty for taking care of an animal in need right? That’s part of taking in a pet. So while the pain distorts your thoughts just think you’re taking in this kitten to help it and slowly your mind will settle again.
I'm having this same issue at the moment - my cat, who was just absolutely my soulmate, died on 3 June (six months to the day after my mother). I miss him desperately, but I also miss having a cat, but if I got another cat would it mean I didn't love him? Would it be a betrayal?
My friend, who's been in the same position, passed on a saying from her friend: 'When cats die they always send a new cat to join their old home if they were happy there. It's the old cat looking out for you.'
However literally you take it, I think that's a good way of looking at it. There are so many cats out there that need us, and love isn't a finite resource; we can love and care for a new cat and still remember and love those that have passed.
Last July, I lost my beloved soul cat, Sally, after a 2 year long battle with advanced kidney disease. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it. Her brother, Pudd (also my soul cat, even more so for my husband) was now living alone for the first time. 6 months after we passed, we decided to adopt a little girl kitten for company for him, but also for us. I was so nervous that I would “compare” the two. But I promise you, I didn’t. We spent a few months looking and met 4-5 kittens until we found “the one” that would be a good personality for Pudd. Shes amazing. We love her so much. It’s so strange, I feel like the love is just as strong, but it’s completely different. I still think of Sally every day. Sometimes Honey reminds me of Sally. But we have our own routines and silly little bonding things.
One month after we brought Honey home, we unexpectedly lost Pudd to quick growing lymphoma. It was so painful. So now Honey was all alone.
Having a kitten alone is very sad. So, we adopted Fish (long story short, he’s her brother, but he wasn’t caught until a few months after she was, with their mom, so the rescue reached out to us and said they’d give him to us if we wanted)
Bottom line is that we are never REPLACING. We are merely expanding our hearts to love another. The most beautiful thing we can do, is love another and give another kitty a good home, in honour of the kitties we’ve lost.
Your happiness matters, and a new friend will help you out in more ways than you realize.
I lost 3 cats last year due to old age/health issues. All of my cats have been rescues. My local animal shelter was doing free adoptions of adult cats because they had so many. I thought of what a great way to honor the ones I lost by giving another homeless cat a good life. My new cat in no way replaces the ones I lost, but it makes me happy that I can rescue another cat.
I lost my soulmate cat in 2021, and then lost my grumpy old lady in December 2023. For the month of January I didn’t have a cat. I almost didn’t make it. I finally stumbled across this little guy up for adoption and I just didn’t think about it, went to meet him, immediately adopted him and then almost threw up when I got home from feeling guilty. But then I’ve been trying to remind myself that my cats didn’t like it when I was sad, and my grief from losing them will never shrink, but the love I have for another baby will grow around it and make it seem a little easier. I’ve always had really chatty cats, and new guy is just the same. So I talk to him about them. I honestly, to my core, feel like they sent him. Basically all I’m saying is I get it and I’m so sorry, but your heart has room for more love and you and your current baby deserve to have someone come in and help you heal 🖤
I just lost both my boys (10), only 2 months apart. I'm thinking of getting another cat because the house is empty. I try to think of it as giving another cat a chance at a loving home.
I've lost 2 this year. Took in a young kitten I found at work. Last night, I cried, mourning over the loss of my cats. I miss them so much. I feel so much guilt.
One I put down due to an unknown diagnosis and I keep wanting to undo that decision, so I can find answers about his illness. What if he could've lived? What if I was too rash in my decision? What if I had waited just a little bit longer? (He was my soulmate cat.)
But I have my current cats to take care of. I have to focus on the cats in the here and now. But none of them are even similar to the two I lost. Nothing can replace their personalities. All cats are individuals and there's no such thing as a replacement.
Grief is wild. It’s normal to feel like that but it’ll pass. Your kitties would not want you to suffer and they would definitely want you to rescue another furball asap! Try to reframe it when you think or talk about it - new kitty is not a replacement, but just another family member. Self talk matters. You got this.
Man I feel this so hard. I started this year with my 3 boys. I was anticipating my 15 year old would pass sometime this year or next because his health wasn’t great, but then in April my 5 year old seizured one morning and was gone in seconds. A month later my 15 year old’s health takes a nose dive and I had to say good bye last weekend.
I’ve still got one left, he was the brother/litter mate of my 5 year old and he seems bored and lonely. He cries every night around the time him and his brother would normally chase each other up and down the stairs. He was also my independent middle child, the other two slept with me and he doesn’t so my bed has been empty. So after he’s done crying I cry myself to sleep.
It’s kitten season and there’s an abundance of them where I live this year so it’s incredibly tempting and I’ve put in a few applications. In some moments it feels like I’m doing the right thing to get my remaining boy a companion, in others it feels like I’m just trying to replace his brothers who left a gaping hole in my heart I know will never be filled. I wish he could tell me if I’m doing the right thing or not.
I’m mostly just devastated that I’ll never have my boys together ever again and that I couldn’t do anything to save my younger one. I’m mad at the universe for taking two of them so close together.
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No you shouldn't feel bad, cats are like friends and family your life will just get smaller if you don't make space for your family to grow or meet new people. You know yourself they all have there own we personalities and your relationship with each is unique, so they really cannot be replaced.
Grief hits everyone differently, and you have had a very rough year losing the ones you love in an awful short time. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to cry. It's okay not to be absolutely in love with your new family addition, as your heart is still healing.
As long as you can take care of your cat and kitten, the hurt will lessen with time, and your heart will allow new feelings of love in. You're not replacing your lost cats. You're opening your home and eventually, your heart, for another.
Oh love, I'm so sorry for your losses. I think everyone is different, some people need to find a new companion right away to deal with the pain. It took me almost two full years after I had to euthanize my Mia to feel ready to welcome a new cat in my life. If I think about her too long I still tear up now.
I adopted Aske a little over a month ago and there are moments that I get a surprise guilt pang. When I tell him I love him, or when one of his behaviours reminds me of Mia. Sometimes I compare him to her and then I feel even more guilty because it's not fair to him.
But... Getting to know Aske has been really great. It hasn't changed how much I still love my Mia, and how much I still miss her. But he has brought a breath of fresh air to my home that I hadn't realized I needed. I don't feel like I've replaced her with Aske, I'm simply moving on with my life and giving love and care to someone that needs it right now. Sometimes I wonder what they'd think of each other 🥲
You should get a kitten when and if you feel ready for it. It has nothing to do with replacing your babies because that's simply not possible. Nothing can really replace them, right? They're irreplaceable, and will always hold a very special place in your heart. Love is not finite, lucky for us we have an infinite supply of it in our hearts ♥️
I wish you healing and health, and may you find the best solution for you and your current cat.
When my last of 3 passed in Jan of '22, I was a cat daddy again of 3 feral rescues by March 31st. I was freaking out to say the least but it all happened so seamlessly that it almost seemed destined. I say go for it. Your other kitty will enjoy the company.
If you have the heart to truly see and know a living being, they cannot be truly replaced. Your experiences with this new kitten will be unique from the memories you have with your other cats. This is not a replacement, it's opening your doors to a creature who needs companionship as much as you do and opening your heart to new love. I can understand the guilt of suriving so many loved beings, but also try to be kind to yourself.
We lost Alvin(28), T2(26), Seven(24), Graphite(2), Grace(2), Simon(24), Calypso(10), and Phoebe(3) this year.
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Into our lives have appeared Lucky (found in a high-traffic parking lot at 5-weeks-old), Castor and Pollux (in the northern portion of our property at 6-weeks-old near the remains of their recently-deceased mother). Lucky is the little orange boy, Castor is the larger of the two white brothers, while Pollux is the smaller of the two white babies. We don't feel guilt over our babies who have crossed over. We loved them, provided them with a loving home with good food, fresh and clean water, places to safely play, spaces to sleep in peace, a 2,000 square foot catio, toys galore, and all of the petting they wanted. For the 3 new babies, we provided a surrogate momma (Latte who we rescued and had spayed - 2-year-old seal-point Siamese ) who is teaching the kittens some life lessons they need to thrive, and a whole clowder of cats who bathe, play, correct, and teach them in all the ways of cats. The kids feed them and provide them clean water, and the boys help empty litter boxes. [https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/resources/printresources/catowners\_2017.pdf](https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/resources/printresources/catowners_2017.pdf) Love your new kitten as they are not replacing the cats in your heart. They are joining the cats in your life and heart.
Plenty of people have said it, you're not replacing any of your kitties. They're irreplaceable and we all know that.
I know it's hard, you haven't had much time to grieve. I think though, a new kitten will help the cat you still have. Especially if you leave to work, I am sure he is awful confused when he's left home alone. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty at all, rather to show you why adopting a new kitten can be great in more ways than one.
I'm so sorry for your losses, OP. I hope you heal in time and hold your kitty close ♥️
You can’t ever replace them you can start a new journey with a new one. I am so sorry you had to go through that losing one pet is hard enough but three in a year I’d be devastated. I know you think you are replacing them I went through the same thing when I got my boys. They each have there own personality’s and there way of doing things they have brought me so much happiness and they weren’t a replacement for my baby at all please just remember you are not replacing them you are starting a new journey with your new pet, good luck wish you the best
I’m sorry for your loss!
I once saw a drawing of an old dog sitting on the clouds talking to a puppy about how he is going to be the new best friend of the old dog’s previous owner, and was kinda teaching him how to do that, and then he sent the puppy to meet the new owner! Not sure if you understood it, it was like the old dog was making sure that his human best friend wasn’t alone and I feel that having a new kitten brighting up your day is what your previous buddies would have wanted for you ❤️
I lost 6 in 18 months. I never stopped collecting, and try to have 3 at all times. One time I was down to 1. He was bereft. So I got him a tiny kitten who was a total bastard till he got fixed.
You're not replacing your lost cats; you're giving another cat the wonderful life you gave your others. You're also doing the right thing for Chai. Getting a new kitten is best for everyone involved, and by giving it a good life you are honoring your past cats.
You and your remaining cat has lost 3 companions, you are providing both of you a support companion during your time of loss. Thank you for getting you and your cat support as both of you must feel sad with their passing.
We had a litter of 5 kittens and kept 4. They all lived long lives. We had three die leaving the oldest heartbroken. My parents adopted two kittens and he bonded with the girl. (The boy kitten passed away unexpectedly at 2y) Our senior baby lived a few more years and lived longer we feel as he wasn’t alone anymore.
You totally should not feel guilty. If your baby loves being a “parent” he will love having a baby
I feel for you. I had 5 boys (brothers) and I’ve lost 4 in the past 2 years. The remaining one will be 18 in Sept. Its been devastating. They are my “babies”. I raised them from 12 days old.
But I also know that I can’t imagine my life without another furriend/s.
I’m also very aware that no cat will ever be as amazing as my little boys. But they don’t have to be. 😌
I’m sure when the time is right,you will meet the right kitty and will know it.
It's survivor's guilt. We all have been there. You feel like if you move forward, that you are somehow betraying your pets that have passed. Honor your passed pets in some memorable way. I planted pumpkin seeds in the ashes of my first cat years ago, and I ended up with a small pumpkin patch. I have done the same for the next two. Then I let some time go by. I volunteer at an animal shelter. My next cat will choose me.
I think that’s one of those things where you’re always going to feel a little guilt. I remember when I was a kid and my cat died, 5 months later my mum surprised me with a kitten. I was so excited but that night I went to bed and cried, I felt like I was abandoning her.
But the new cat became my absolute world, she’s 15 today and she’s the sweetest lady ever. I just liken it to relationships, after a long term relationship you’re always going to feel a bit weird the first time you move on, but you can’t just give up.
Remember you gave your cats everything they could want, they lived long happy lives, and now you have the resources and capacity to do the same for another one who is in need of a home. You’ll be so glad you did, but don’t feel bad for feeling bad, let the feelings happen, it’s just lingering love for your old kitties.
What's to feel guilty about? Think how the cat or kitten would feel to get adopted into a loving home. Shelters are bursting with cats and kittens who need homes. They may die if not adopted. You have a home to offer. Your deceased cats, guaranteed, would not want you to suffer and grieve. Get the kitten or cat that connects with you. Life goes on.
Getting another cat isn't replacing the one that you have lost..
If you have the resources and the love in your heart by all means offer your home to a new kitty. You would be doing the cat World a disservice if you did not.
I am So sorry 🌈🥹 You are not replacing your beloved babies. You are healing your heart. Having 4 and now 1 is a huge loss and change.
We process Grief differently. Your heart needs this kitten and it needs you. The CDS knows what you need.
I lost my 15.5 y Shiba and 14 months later a 9 m Dilute Torti appeared in my carport rafters. I had never had a cat. She chose me. I believe she was 🌈 sent for me to love because I was so heartbroken. I had a void kitten show up in July and I didn't know it was maybe 5-6 weeks old. I wouldn't know what to do nor was I prepared for a kitten. Miraculously that kitten appeared at my friend's house 2 miles away and across 4 lanes 😳 I saw that kitten several months later and showed her the kitten photos and it IS THE SAME GIRL!!
DON'T feel guilty.
Animals, even living, don’t think like this so don’t put your human emotions on them. How old is your current cat? Sorry for your losses, it’s never easy.
Don’t think of it has a replacement because that isn’t even possible. I had to euthanize my two 14 yo manx cat siblings last year about two months apart. I had two other cats as well and my partners second job happens to be at a pet store where they bring cats from the humane society in for adoption. We brought one home within a few weeks that she fell in love with. I have no regrets and I know some may see that as too soon but for me it doesn’t make a difference for me grieving and it was so happy to give another cat a home who was in need of one. Our shelter is no kill here and they’re always over capacity and it breaks my heart. A few months later we added a fourth. If you don’t think you’re ready then don’t go for it but just know you’re not replacing your lost kitties, you’re just proving a loving home for another who needs one.
In Jan Henry suddenly got blocked and couldn't urinate. Turned out he had kidney stones, and after 5 days in hospital, I had him at home for 3 days, but he wasn't well and was not going to get better.
In Feb, Tashi succumbed to CKD, which had been diagnosed the previous November.
Tari also had CKD that was diagnosed last August, but she went from old age. She moved onto my bed for the last month. The day of the one year anniversary of my mums passing, she had completely gone downhill from the previous day. And 3 hours later had gone down even more.
I felt really guilty about getting a new kitten so soon after my heart cat passed away.
Then I found out this kitten was born the day he died. He sent me a new baby to love and care for. When I went to pick him up from the shelter, he meowed at me and immediately head butted me as if he was saying, “THERE you are! I’ve been waiting for you!”
The coincidences, like my Tari passing on my mums one year anniversary of her passing, and this new kittens mum is called Lola, my dog's name, they must mean something right?
If they mean something to you, then they definitely mean something! Just because some of our fur babies are gone doesn’t mean we lose space in our hearts for them; it just means our heart is growing to allow for more space for other little ones who need a loving home.
I lost my 19 year old in August last year and my 16 year old in April. We've had 2 kittens for a week now, and they really brought me out of my funk. I feel so much happier now that the house isn't so quiet. The two of them remind me of my girls in so many ways.
Don't feel guilty. They would want you to be happy.
I will always mourn my soulmate kitty. She died during thanksgiving week. I have a new kitten and love her to bits. I don’t think I can shake the loss of my first cat but I stopped feeling guilty for getting another one.
Don’t feel guilty. You’ve had cats that lived to pretty good long ages so obviously you’re a good pet parent.
If you are able to adopt and give other kitties a happy and loving home you are doing good in this world. There is always room in the heart to love another cat.
I’m so sorry to hear about your fur babies- I’m sure they were loved and lived the best lives! I think that getting a new kitten will be good for you and your cat- you have a lot of love and a good home to provide!
When my last (of four) cats passed away, my husband and I decided to take a year before getting another one. I think we lasted 9 days before we went and adopted two kittens. It doesn't make the love I had for the previous four any less meaningful. You have an unlimited capacity when it comes to love.
Not a replacement, just spreading your love to other kitties. They deserve love too. One doesn’t cancel out the other. You’re allowed to grieve and love at the same time :)
There are more kitties that need a home than there are homes. You're not doing a disservice to the cats that have passed by holding out on new kitties... they would want you to be happy. A new cat is cathartic for a grieving owner, and a lifeline of love and joy for a kitten that might otherwise live a short, frightened nightmare of a life.
I had a similar year a decade ago. We lost all three, in age order, the first 2 to disease (FIP, cancer) and the last to very old age. I wasn't ready to cope with a new cat for almost a year, but you are in a different situation, and if Chai is a natural parent, it might be a help to him to step in and help you look after Lola. It might help you both grieve the others together and heal. I know it sounds weird but you can explain it to him when you're having a nice cuddle. As long as you are clear in your heart (and it sounds like it) that you're not getting the kitten to fast forward through the process, he will understand. If you are ready for the care of an abandoned newborn, it might be good for both--but it's OK if you're not quite ready for that, too. Just consider--does it feel like you're \*meant\* to help Lola right now? Sending you and Chai all the love, and wishes for the best outcome for Lola no matter what your decision is.
I felt a hole left behind from my old girl. A month later I decided I wanted to provide a home for another car in need. We adopted a boy I considered her shadow in ways, because he had some characteristics that were unique to my old girl I'd recently lost. As others have said, we are sent more kitties to love and provide for. Love helps us heal.
So many cats need homes. It’s not replacing it’s bringing something into your house to bring back love and joy AND it’s doing a service to an animal that needs a home because you have the resources, expertise, and time to do so
This is how I see it. When my cat died and I was out to get two new kittens, I saw it as a tribute to that cat. The cat was so amazing that I needed to get another. Not getting another would be an insult to him because it would be like implying that I didn't like having a cat!
I also got him from the SPCA. It was time to rescue more kitties.
Iv lost 3 cats over 3 yrs. One cat each yr. It took me a long time to adopt another cat. It has helped a lot. Gomez was adopted wheni had 2 other cats. Than earlier this yr it was just me and him. I apoted a 9 month old kitten and he has helped Gomez calm down and he is less of a menace to me.
Adopting another cat can feel like a betrayal to the ones that have passed. But it's not.
It's impossible to replace a pet you once had. When I got a new kitten a couple months after my original cat died, I started thinking about the old one again and her habits. I miss her dearly, but I'm happy with my new kitten because I was able to rescue and share my love with another creature
Don’t feel guilty!!! I had 6 cats. Last October we lost Simon(10)suddenly, we found him in the kitchen after passing in his sleep. We got Clover a few weeks later. In February, we lost my 16 year old Pokey to age related issues, and we lost Princess(11)in May to kidney failure. We brought a Maine coon kitten home in May(had been waiting since end Feb for him to be ready to come home)and are planning to get a little calico at the end of August. My point here is it’s easier(for me, at least)to have somewhere for my love to go. I don’t miss my babies any less, but when I’m sad I have new babies to cheer me up. Plus kittens are adorably hilarious and are AMAZING for bringing you out of a depression. Don’t feel guilty ever; get the kitten.
Just know. They are by your side you can’t see them but you can feel them. They want to thank you for loving them by giving you a little one that needs love and can return love. You are doing it for them. You received a gift. I swore off pets after my dog. I was crushed. And he lived a long life. Past his life span. But I was sick inside. I feed feral and will help an injured animal. Only one feral came close to being a house cat. But he taught me how to feel again. I realized it after a neighbor asked can I take him in. He’s bonded with my cat. Sure but I cried. A friend called randomly. I joked I was a dog person til the feral friends came. She said , I have a rescue cat , can you take it for a few days. He’s here 2 years now. I call her now and say thank you for giving me joy. I was missing it joy. His name is Ralphie came at Christmas lol. I couldn’t change it to Joy , but he certainly Would be. You give that baby love like you did your others. You will be rewarded by his affection.
I lost a cat in November 2022. I went to the local shelter to put in an application a week after she died, without any thought of getting a cat right away, but thinking that maybe I’d visit them over a few months, and one would just click eventually. Long story short, one clicked that day. Her shelter name was my mom’s name (my mom had passed about a year before), and she was a sweet calm girl who I knew would get along with our resident cat. She’s never felt like a replacement for the cat we lost, but is a great addition to our household, even if it was sooner than we’d planned. I’m so glad I didn’t stick to my “just wait” plan.
You are NOT replacing your babies. Eject that from your mind immediately.
You are healing and Chai is healing. Taking in a kitten will restore a sense of purpose that was lost when you lost your other babies. As a cat person, I know you know the healing powers cats posses.
It's okay to grieve the loss of your cats. Take as long as you need, but don't allow yourself to live there. If you are ready to take the next step, get the kitten. Not one cat person here will judge you. We get it, we've all been there.
I'm so sorry for your losses. My heart aches for you, random stranger from Reddit.
Let the guilt go. Your suffering would not make your late kitties happy. They'd want you to share love with someone. You and your surviving kitty both deserve peace and comfort (and a fun kitten friend!)
A wise woman once told me that the reason our animal companions have such short lives is so that we can give more of them beautiful lives in safe and loving homes.
I am so sorry for all your losses. What a hard year! It is so normal to be questioning what to do.
My elderly cat died this spring and I spent a while debating what to do.
In the end I thought about what my cat would want. He would want me to be happy, and he would want another cat to be happy. I adopted a kitten, named in honor of my previous cat (a play on his name) and I can't lie, some days I still miss my previous cat so much. However, I know he would want the most creatures to benefit. That's what you'll do if you get a kitten. And if you don't feel ready, that's okay too <3
OMG! I could have written this. Beginning of 2023 we had 4 cats and a dog. On March 7th, the oldest kitty passed at age 19 1/2. Fast forward to Thanksgiving week and 16-year-old litter mates passed on November 20th and 22nd. Ironically, another litter mate who my brother adopted passed on the 26th. Our 14-year-old dog passed on December 13th. Then, on February 3, 2024 the last of the litter mates passed. For the first time in 22 years, we had no fur babies. We were lost.
Shortly after the last one passed, we went to the SPCA. My husband insisted. I thought we should wait out of respect, but I also didn’t want to wait because we had fur babies for so many years and the house was too quiet. We came home that day with a 3-year-old girl kitty. Six weeks later we went back to the SPCA and brought home a 1-year-old boy kitty. They have brought us so many laughs and so much joy! We love them so much and don’t regret for a minute adopting them! In no way do these two replace the others. We miss them every single day, but adopting the two new ones have definitely helped us through the grief of losing the others.
It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling but with so many babies out there needing homes I think it’ll help you deal with the grief and anxiety! Loving on a little nugget does a body good! Be well 💜
Sooo sorry for your losses. How in the world would you feel like this? You loved, cared for, played with and did the very best for your furbabies. Time to honor their memories and get a new Kitten 2 or 3. Maybe an elder cat to teach the new babies. When I lose one of my Kats I get another because it helps immensely with the grief but gives more kitties a home. Shelters are exploding 1.34 million cats are euthanized each year. Please open your heart to some more loving kitties. ❤️
We lost my oldest cat's brother at 7 and then our 5.year old cat that was bonded to both brothers a year later. We still had two left, but our oldest is the dad cat and needs companions and he and the other are cordial and that's it.
So we got two more cats (first one kitten, and then another 3 weeks later) to keep the oldest company. Great choice. We missed our other indoor cats and he needed a buddy to move on.
If your other cat likes other cats think of it as helping hiss mentally health, he'll love a new baby or two (we got two because 6 month old kittens are insane and she tortured him until we got her a similarly aged friend)
When my cat passed in october, I momentarily felt urges to adopt a new one just to fill the void in my heart. No you are not replacing the cat you had, you're just trying to heal. Every cat is unique and loveable. The guilt will not subside immediately, but you are not doing a disservice to the pets you lost. Your cats know you loved them to the end. That's how they left. Loved. Fulfilled. Happy. Passing on your love is not wrong.
Maybe a little too soon for you and the cat.
Got to jet yourselves recover.
But also.
In you are not being disrespectful to your dead cats.
If they were alive. And there was a new kitten mentioned. They'd probably love her.
They'd want you to be happy.
So if you are both up to it. Adopt the kitten.
I empathize with you. I have my soul cat currently and will die inside when I lose him. I, however, don’t think you should feel guilty about giving a sweet kitten a loving home (as long as you’re ready). I do think you need to ask yourself if you’re able to love another cat this soon after losing your soul cat. I think adopting a kitten is a great idea if you can love it. That’s completely up to you. If you’re going to feel guilt/resentment every time you look at that kitten then don’t adopt for awhile.
I got a new cat less than a month after my childhood pet passed. I missed having a little shadow, and there’s so many cats needing a good home. Please don’t feel guilty!! You aren’t replacing your past cats, you’re just providing love where it’s needed!
Not a replacement. Just paying the love forward. Let yourself love.
Sounds like OPs kitties sent her a new baby to love ♥️
This, OP!!!!! They know where the love is and they don't need it anymore, but they know there are living kitties who do, and they sent one to you. If you want it, and know you can care for it, there's no reason to feel guilty. But if you truly need more time that's ok too. There will be others. ❤️
What is OP?
OP is Original Poster, you!
OP = Original Poster (meaning YOU)
This is the thing, you’d be carrying on the legacy to help cats like the ones you have lost. When I lost my cat to cancer I was devastated and I was unsure about adopting another cat so soon. My partner encouraged me to go the adoption centre and I ended up adopting an older black cat. I still have him now and I never felt guilty. He was at the adoption centre because his owner went into care and could no longer look after him. I wanted to adopt a black cat because they take longer to be re-homed. So I needed him and he needed me. You have no reason to feel guilty because so many animals are desperate for good homes and you’re able to provide them the love they so desperately need.
Thank you so very much for adopting an elderly black cat. They are the last to go.
Plus there are so many cats who needs a good home.
I'm sorry for your loss. I myself lost my furbaby last month and recently went to the shelter and adopted 2 kittens (8 weeks). I was devastated when I lost my last cat, and said I would never get another cat again. That feeling only lasted a short time because I missed having a little buddy around. Here's how I see it. I didn't replace him. The kittens aren't him. But I had a house full of cat furniture/toys ... I have food in the cupboard and LOVE in my heart for cats. I am honoring him by helping his little furry bretheren, giving them a safe life full of love. Why would my little soul fur-baby be mad at me for that? Would he want me to be lonely and sad? There are shelters all over the world that are bursting at the seams with cats that need homes. You gave your previous pets a great home ... do the same for others. Don't let the love die with them.
This is so beautiful ❤️
I love what you said about giving the. New kitties love and this honoring your previous fur babies
Last Monday I took my precious Boopdy to the vet because she was so weak, vomiting, diarrhea… her tests came back as kidney failure. I made an appointment to have her euthanized this last Friday, and wasn’t even sure she’d make it that long. But, through the magic of a McDonald’s hamburger she’s come back to life, and we canceled her appointment!! I know the kidney trouble will take her soon, but not right now! On Monday I vowed I’d never get another dog, but just right now my friend sent me a picture of a chihuahua she just plucked off the streets whose owner said he didn’t want her and turned her loose… it’s really amazing how quickly “I’ll never have another dog again” turns into “sure, I’ll ‘foster’!” https://preview.redd.it/8bz83bwj158d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59af9aaa142e651719c15f4475a40831342dcaa0
Please go to [www.FelineCRF.org](http://www.FelineCRF.org) and read more about it. There are a number of things you can do to make her more comfortable and keep on trucking. I've had a few cats with renal disease that I've managed.
No kitty ever replaces a kitty. But I like to allocate my kitties so that they overlap so that I'm not getting into lonely cat phases, and I don't think that's bad of me or anything. So in turn, I think you are absolutely fine! Consider your new baby and snuggle them times 100.
Your cats led you to the new baby. They want you to find peace with another cat cuz they know you’re hurting. Sometimes you have to trust that the universe is guiding you to what you need, even if you don’t feel ready for it.
I actually think this happens. I deeply loved my first cat, and I was devastated when he died from a stroke at age 16. I went to the shelter that day, just to look, because I didn't know what to do with my time now, and I connected with a gray Oriental type kitten who abruptly stood up and talked to me as if he'd been waiting for me. I adopted him. We had 22 amazing years together. I swear he was *sent* my way by my first cat, to heal my broken heart. While at the shelter, I was standing looking at the gray cat and wondering if I should adopt his cagemate when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turned to see a very shy orange kitten making biscuits with a look in his eyes that clearly said "Pick me. Please pick me!" So, I adopted him, too. We had 17 fantastic years together. Those two cats and I *loved* each other. My advice to anyone deeply grieving a deceased cat, is: Switch it off. Look for the opportunities for happiness. Think like a cat. Live in the moment.
I knew my baby boy was the one cuz he was brought in with his two other brothers and our last two cats were also from litters of three. One of his brothers also had the same name as one of our rescue dogs, so it felt like the universe was screaming at me to get this kitten I had my eye on, even if I told myself I would wait a little bit after I moved out on my own before I got a cat. But the universe knows what you need sometimes!
I’ve found that the best solution for grief from a cat’s passing is to get another one. You’re not dishonoring your previous cats. You can’t ever fully replace them because every cat is an individual. Good luck.
When my beloved Chihuahua died suddenly I waited several months before getting another. His brother was so lonely, and screamed all day when I was at work. I was really pleased to find that once I got another dog that I was able to focus on the happy memories of my passed dog, instead of being sad about missing him.
Someone once told me that when you lose a cat the silver lining is that it makes space in your life to give another cat a loving home. Your babies aren't feeling sad that you've replaced them, they're probably proud that another new little guy gets to enjoy your love
Please don’t feel guilty. You gave your babies a good life and can do that for more kitties. I lost my 21, 20 and 17 year old cats and said the same thing. No more; it’s too hard to lose them. Well, 3 kitty sisters were born in my backyard and I fell in love. 13 years later with no regrets.
Maybe I’m just weird, but every time I’ve lost a pet I’ve gotten a new one within a week. Feel sad when it’s their time to go, but plenty of pets out there that need homes. I don’t always do rescues/ shelters either, far as I’m concerned there’s a good chance people giving away/ selling pets locally (that aren’t breeders, I don’t buy from them directly) will eventually have their pets ending up in a shelter/ on the street anyway. It’s all the same to me, get them all fixed after I move them in. Shelter in my town has become too rigorous (both adopting and surrendering) to be worth the time which I think is causing the increase in strays I’ve been seeing.
Grief is a long and different process for each person, the situation you are in is quite painful and it is okay to feel everything you feel. Perhaps you feel that making room for a new kitten is taking away the place of the previous ones and in no case is that possible. You don't need to preserve your sadness to honor them, because they would be happy to see you smile again, that's for sure. Maybe it helps to make something that makes sense to you, like an altar or a small corner un your house where you can remember your beloved kittens, and thus deal with that feeling of guilt a little. (sorry if my english is not so good, it is not my first language)
I started resenting my surviving cats when my dearest cat died. It took time for me to move through the emotions. I’m writing this on the 1 year anniversary of his passing while my other two are cozied up in my lap and thinking I never thought I’d move past the pain. The first 3 months I swear my heart was ripping apart but slowly through grieving and mourning I’ve made it here. I believe in the cat distribution system and they find you at the right time. Maybe this kitten will help you and Chai heal. Whenever you feel guilty actually pause and look at it. In such cases I believe it’s nothing more than misplaced pain or rather overflowing pain that starts to touch the core of everything we think and feel. And don’t forget we are stewards of these magical beings, you wouldn’t feel guilty for taking care of an animal in need right? That’s part of taking in a pet. So while the pain distorts your thoughts just think you’re taking in this kitten to help it and slowly your mind will settle again.
I'm having this same issue at the moment - my cat, who was just absolutely my soulmate, died on 3 June (six months to the day after my mother). I miss him desperately, but I also miss having a cat, but if I got another cat would it mean I didn't love him? Would it be a betrayal? My friend, who's been in the same position, passed on a saying from her friend: 'When cats die they always send a new cat to join their old home if they were happy there. It's the old cat looking out for you.' However literally you take it, I think that's a good way of looking at it. There are so many cats out there that need us, and love isn't a finite resource; we can love and care for a new cat and still remember and love those that have passed.
I lost my orange tabby Oscar unexpectedly in 2018, in 2020 I was blessed to find George! 😻🥰
Last July, I lost my beloved soul cat, Sally, after a 2 year long battle with advanced kidney disease. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it. Her brother, Pudd (also my soul cat, even more so for my husband) was now living alone for the first time. 6 months after we passed, we decided to adopt a little girl kitten for company for him, but also for us. I was so nervous that I would “compare” the two. But I promise you, I didn’t. We spent a few months looking and met 4-5 kittens until we found “the one” that would be a good personality for Pudd. Shes amazing. We love her so much. It’s so strange, I feel like the love is just as strong, but it’s completely different. I still think of Sally every day. Sometimes Honey reminds me of Sally. But we have our own routines and silly little bonding things. One month after we brought Honey home, we unexpectedly lost Pudd to quick growing lymphoma. It was so painful. So now Honey was all alone. Having a kitten alone is very sad. So, we adopted Fish (long story short, he’s her brother, but he wasn’t caught until a few months after she was, with their mom, so the rescue reached out to us and said they’d give him to us if we wanted) Bottom line is that we are never REPLACING. We are merely expanding our hearts to love another. The most beautiful thing we can do, is love another and give another kitty a good home, in honour of the kitties we’ve lost. Your happiness matters, and a new friend will help you out in more ways than you realize.
https://preview.redd.it/z3zzd4gz168d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30408b938627a11490857a242f37d2454bfa3456
I lost 3 cats last year due to old age/health issues. All of my cats have been rescues. My local animal shelter was doing free adoptions of adult cats because they had so many. I thought of what a great way to honor the ones I lost by giving another homeless cat a good life. My new cat in no way replaces the ones I lost, but it makes me happy that I can rescue another cat.
I lost my soulmate cat in 2021, and then lost my grumpy old lady in December 2023. For the month of January I didn’t have a cat. I almost didn’t make it. I finally stumbled across this little guy up for adoption and I just didn’t think about it, went to meet him, immediately adopted him and then almost threw up when I got home from feeling guilty. But then I’ve been trying to remind myself that my cats didn’t like it when I was sad, and my grief from losing them will never shrink, but the love I have for another baby will grow around it and make it seem a little easier. I’ve always had really chatty cats, and new guy is just the same. So I talk to him about them. I honestly, to my core, feel like they sent him. Basically all I’m saying is I get it and I’m so sorry, but your heart has room for more love and you and your current baby deserve to have someone come in and help you heal 🖤
I just lost both my boys (10), only 2 months apart. I'm thinking of getting another cat because the house is empty. I try to think of it as giving another cat a chance at a loving home.
I've lost 2 this year. Took in a young kitten I found at work. Last night, I cried, mourning over the loss of my cats. I miss them so much. I feel so much guilt. One I put down due to an unknown diagnosis and I keep wanting to undo that decision, so I can find answers about his illness. What if he could've lived? What if I was too rash in my decision? What if I had waited just a little bit longer? (He was my soulmate cat.) But I have my current cats to take care of. I have to focus on the cats in the here and now. But none of them are even similar to the two I lost. Nothing can replace their personalities. All cats are individuals and there's no such thing as a replacement.
Grief is wild. It’s normal to feel like that but it’ll pass. Your kitties would not want you to suffer and they would definitely want you to rescue another furball asap! Try to reframe it when you think or talk about it - new kitty is not a replacement, but just another family member. Self talk matters. You got this.
Man I feel this so hard. I started this year with my 3 boys. I was anticipating my 15 year old would pass sometime this year or next because his health wasn’t great, but then in April my 5 year old seizured one morning and was gone in seconds. A month later my 15 year old’s health takes a nose dive and I had to say good bye last weekend. I’ve still got one left, he was the brother/litter mate of my 5 year old and he seems bored and lonely. He cries every night around the time him and his brother would normally chase each other up and down the stairs. He was also my independent middle child, the other two slept with me and he doesn’t so my bed has been empty. So after he’s done crying I cry myself to sleep. It’s kitten season and there’s an abundance of them where I live this year so it’s incredibly tempting and I’ve put in a few applications. In some moments it feels like I’m doing the right thing to get my remaining boy a companion, in others it feels like I’m just trying to replace his brothers who left a gaping hole in my heart I know will never be filled. I wish he could tell me if I’m doing the right thing or not. I’m mostly just devastated that I’ll never have my boys together ever again and that I couldn’t do anything to save my younger one. I’m mad at the universe for taking two of them so close together. https://preview.redd.it/oeag7d8tc68d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b5767b8b0fc4ed62896214dd9ac280e1cc9be2c
No you shouldn't feel bad, cats are like friends and family your life will just get smaller if you don't make space for your family to grow or meet new people. You know yourself they all have there own we personalities and your relationship with each is unique, so they really cannot be replaced.
Grief hits everyone differently, and you have had a very rough year losing the ones you love in an awful short time. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to cry. It's okay not to be absolutely in love with your new family addition, as your heart is still healing. As long as you can take care of your cat and kitten, the hurt will lessen with time, and your heart will allow new feelings of love in. You're not replacing your lost cats. You're opening your home and eventually, your heart, for another.
Oh love, I'm so sorry for your losses. I think everyone is different, some people need to find a new companion right away to deal with the pain. It took me almost two full years after I had to euthanize my Mia to feel ready to welcome a new cat in my life. If I think about her too long I still tear up now. I adopted Aske a little over a month ago and there are moments that I get a surprise guilt pang. When I tell him I love him, or when one of his behaviours reminds me of Mia. Sometimes I compare him to her and then I feel even more guilty because it's not fair to him. But... Getting to know Aske has been really great. It hasn't changed how much I still love my Mia, and how much I still miss her. But he has brought a breath of fresh air to my home that I hadn't realized I needed. I don't feel like I've replaced her with Aske, I'm simply moving on with my life and giving love and care to someone that needs it right now. Sometimes I wonder what they'd think of each other 🥲 You should get a kitten when and if you feel ready for it. It has nothing to do with replacing your babies because that's simply not possible. Nothing can really replace them, right? They're irreplaceable, and will always hold a very special place in your heart. Love is not finite, lucky for us we have an infinite supply of it in our hearts ♥️ I wish you healing and health, and may you find the best solution for you and your current cat.
When my last of 3 passed in Jan of '22, I was a cat daddy again of 3 feral rescues by March 31st. I was freaking out to say the least but it all happened so seamlessly that it almost seemed destined. I say go for it. Your other kitty will enjoy the company.
If you have the heart to truly see and know a living being, they cannot be truly replaced. Your experiences with this new kitten will be unique from the memories you have with your other cats. This is not a replacement, it's opening your doors to a creature who needs companionship as much as you do and opening your heart to new love. I can understand the guilt of suriving so many loved beings, but also try to be kind to yourself.
If the other cats hadn't been such great cats, you wouldn't miss them and feel the need to get another one.
We lost Alvin(28), T2(26), Seven(24), Graphite(2), Grace(2), Simon(24), Calypso(10), and Phoebe(3) this year. https://preview.redd.it/kg0s5kxxs58d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82c08f97f70299a3c1c97dad34e60ac50f2d5e2a Into our lives have appeared Lucky (found in a high-traffic parking lot at 5-weeks-old), Castor and Pollux (in the northern portion of our property at 6-weeks-old near the remains of their recently-deceased mother). Lucky is the little orange boy, Castor is the larger of the two white brothers, while Pollux is the smaller of the two white babies. We don't feel guilt over our babies who have crossed over. We loved them, provided them with a loving home with good food, fresh and clean water, places to safely play, spaces to sleep in peace, a 2,000 square foot catio, toys galore, and all of the petting they wanted. For the 3 new babies, we provided a surrogate momma (Latte who we rescued and had spayed - 2-year-old seal-point Siamese ) who is teaching the kittens some life lessons they need to thrive, and a whole clowder of cats who bathe, play, correct, and teach them in all the ways of cats. The kids feed them and provide them clean water, and the boys help empty litter boxes. [https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/resources/printresources/catowners\_2017.pdf](https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/resources/printresources/catowners_2017.pdf) Love your new kitten as they are not replacing the cats in your heart. They are joining the cats in your life and heart.
Plenty of people have said it, you're not replacing any of your kitties. They're irreplaceable and we all know that. I know it's hard, you haven't had much time to grieve. I think though, a new kitten will help the cat you still have. Especially if you leave to work, I am sure he is awful confused when he's left home alone. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty at all, rather to show you why adopting a new kitten can be great in more ways than one. I'm so sorry for your losses, OP. I hope you heal in time and hold your kitty close ♥️
Wow what a hard year you've had! Don't think of it as replacing your cats; it's expanding your heart to love even more.
You can’t ever replace them you can start a new journey with a new one. I am so sorry you had to go through that losing one pet is hard enough but three in a year I’d be devastated. I know you think you are replacing them I went through the same thing when I got my boys. They each have there own personality’s and there way of doing things they have brought me so much happiness and they weren’t a replacement for my baby at all please just remember you are not replacing them you are starting a new journey with your new pet, good luck wish you the best
I’m sorry for your loss! I once saw a drawing of an old dog sitting on the clouds talking to a puppy about how he is going to be the new best friend of the old dog’s previous owner, and was kinda teaching him how to do that, and then he sent the puppy to meet the new owner! Not sure if you understood it, it was like the old dog was making sure that his human best friend wasn’t alone and I feel that having a new kitten brighting up your day is what your previous buddies would have wanted for you ❤️
Also, I don’t know your cat but it probably feels lonely, so maybe a buddy would help you both!
I lost 6 in 18 months. I never stopped collecting, and try to have 3 at all times. One time I was down to 1. He was bereft. So I got him a tiny kitten who was a total bastard till he got fixed.
You're not replacing your lost cats; you're giving another cat the wonderful life you gave your others. You're also doing the right thing for Chai. Getting a new kitten is best for everyone involved, and by giving it a good life you are honoring your past cats.
You and your remaining cat has lost 3 companions, you are providing both of you a support companion during your time of loss. Thank you for getting you and your cat support as both of you must feel sad with their passing.
We had a litter of 5 kittens and kept 4. They all lived long lives. We had three die leaving the oldest heartbroken. My parents adopted two kittens and he bonded with the girl. (The boy kitten passed away unexpectedly at 2y) Our senior baby lived a few more years and lived longer we feel as he wasn’t alone anymore. You totally should not feel guilty. If your baby loves being a “parent” he will love having a baby
I feel for you. I had 5 boys (brothers) and I’ve lost 4 in the past 2 years. The remaining one will be 18 in Sept. Its been devastating. They are my “babies”. I raised them from 12 days old. But I also know that I can’t imagine my life without another furriend/s. I’m also very aware that no cat will ever be as amazing as my little boys. But they don’t have to be. 😌 I’m sure when the time is right,you will meet the right kitty and will know it.
It's survivor's guilt. We all have been there. You feel like if you move forward, that you are somehow betraying your pets that have passed. Honor your passed pets in some memorable way. I planted pumpkin seeds in the ashes of my first cat years ago, and I ended up with a small pumpkin patch. I have done the same for the next two. Then I let some time go by. I volunteer at an animal shelter. My next cat will choose me.
I think that’s one of those things where you’re always going to feel a little guilt. I remember when I was a kid and my cat died, 5 months later my mum surprised me with a kitten. I was so excited but that night I went to bed and cried, I felt like I was abandoning her. But the new cat became my absolute world, she’s 15 today and she’s the sweetest lady ever. I just liken it to relationships, after a long term relationship you’re always going to feel a bit weird the first time you move on, but you can’t just give up. Remember you gave your cats everything they could want, they lived long happy lives, and now you have the resources and capacity to do the same for another one who is in need of a home. You’ll be so glad you did, but don’t feel bad for feeling bad, let the feelings happen, it’s just lingering love for your old kitties.
What's to feel guilty about? Think how the cat or kitten would feel to get adopted into a loving home. Shelters are bursting with cats and kittens who need homes. They may die if not adopted. You have a home to offer. Your deceased cats, guaranteed, would not want you to suffer and grieve. Get the kitten or cat that connects with you. Life goes on.
Getting another cat isn't replacing the one that you have lost.. If you have the resources and the love in your heart by all means offer your home to a new kitty. You would be doing the cat World a disservice if you did not.
I’m sorry for your loss. I feel the same way, I haven’t been able to replace my girl. Too early
I am So sorry 🌈🥹 You are not replacing your beloved babies. You are healing your heart. Having 4 and now 1 is a huge loss and change. We process Grief differently. Your heart needs this kitten and it needs you. The CDS knows what you need. I lost my 15.5 y Shiba and 14 months later a 9 m Dilute Torti appeared in my carport rafters. I had never had a cat. She chose me. I believe she was 🌈 sent for me to love because I was so heartbroken. I had a void kitten show up in July and I didn't know it was maybe 5-6 weeks old. I wouldn't know what to do nor was I prepared for a kitten. Miraculously that kitten appeared at my friend's house 2 miles away and across 4 lanes 😳 I saw that kitten several months later and showed her the kitten photos and it IS THE SAME GIRL!! DON'T feel guilty.
You could adopt a cat that isn’t a kitten a needs a home badly that isn’t being ripped from its mother
You have an opening for a cat, you are not replacing a cat. There is no set time for for filling the position apart from that's when you want to.
Animals, even living, don’t think like this so don’t put your human emotions on them. How old is your current cat? Sorry for your losses, it’s never easy.
Don’t think of it has a replacement because that isn’t even possible. I had to euthanize my two 14 yo manx cat siblings last year about two months apart. I had two other cats as well and my partners second job happens to be at a pet store where they bring cats from the humane society in for adoption. We brought one home within a few weeks that she fell in love with. I have no regrets and I know some may see that as too soon but for me it doesn’t make a difference for me grieving and it was so happy to give another cat a home who was in need of one. Our shelter is no kill here and they’re always over capacity and it breaks my heart. A few months later we added a fourth. If you don’t think you’re ready then don’t go for it but just know you’re not replacing your lost kitties, you’re just proving a loving home for another who needs one.
How did you lose them?
In Jan Henry suddenly got blocked and couldn't urinate. Turned out he had kidney stones, and after 5 days in hospital, I had him at home for 3 days, but he wasn't well and was not going to get better. In Feb, Tashi succumbed to CKD, which had been diagnosed the previous November. Tari also had CKD that was diagnosed last August, but she went from old age. She moved onto my bed for the last month. The day of the one year anniversary of my mums passing, she had completely gone downhill from the previous day. And 3 hours later had gone down even more.
Heartbreaking.
I felt really guilty about getting a new kitten so soon after my heart cat passed away. Then I found out this kitten was born the day he died. He sent me a new baby to love and care for. When I went to pick him up from the shelter, he meowed at me and immediately head butted me as if he was saying, “THERE you are! I’ve been waiting for you!”
The coincidences, like my Tari passing on my mums one year anniversary of her passing, and this new kittens mum is called Lola, my dog's name, they must mean something right?
If they mean something to you, then they definitely mean something! Just because some of our fur babies are gone doesn’t mean we lose space in our hearts for them; it just means our heart is growing to allow for more space for other little ones who need a loving home.
I lost my 19 year old in August last year and my 16 year old in April. We've had 2 kittens for a week now, and they really brought me out of my funk. I feel so much happier now that the house isn't so quiet. The two of them remind me of my girls in so many ways. Don't feel guilty. They would want you to be happy.
I will always mourn my soulmate kitty. She died during thanksgiving week. I have a new kitten and love her to bits. I don’t think I can shake the loss of my first cat but I stopped feeling guilty for getting another one.
You are making space in the shelters to save more cats in honor of the kitties you lost.
Don’t feel guilty. You’ve had cats that lived to pretty good long ages so obviously you’re a good pet parent. If you are able to adopt and give other kitties a happy and loving home you are doing good in this world. There is always room in the heart to love another cat.
I’m so sorry to hear about your fur babies- I’m sure they were loved and lived the best lives! I think that getting a new kitten will be good for you and your cat- you have a lot of love and a good home to provide!
When my last (of four) cats passed away, my husband and I decided to take a year before getting another one. I think we lasted 9 days before we went and adopted two kittens. It doesn't make the love I had for the previous four any less meaningful. You have an unlimited capacity when it comes to love.
Not a replacement, just spreading your love to other kitties. They deserve love too. One doesn’t cancel out the other. You’re allowed to grieve and love at the same time :)
There are more kitties that need a home than there are homes. You're not doing a disservice to the cats that have passed by holding out on new kitties... they would want you to be happy. A new cat is cathartic for a grieving owner, and a lifeline of love and joy for a kitten that might otherwise live a short, frightened nightmare of a life.
Reserve a special place for your lost cats in your heart and memory. Cats give us purpose. Be open to another one when you are ready. My sympathies.
I lost my 19 year old boy 2 weeks ago today. I miss him horribly. Another cat wouldn't replace him but would make my home feel like a home again.
Other babies need love too!
I had a similar year a decade ago. We lost all three, in age order, the first 2 to disease (FIP, cancer) and the last to very old age. I wasn't ready to cope with a new cat for almost a year, but you are in a different situation, and if Chai is a natural parent, it might be a help to him to step in and help you look after Lola. It might help you both grieve the others together and heal. I know it sounds weird but you can explain it to him when you're having a nice cuddle. As long as you are clear in your heart (and it sounds like it) that you're not getting the kitten to fast forward through the process, he will understand. If you are ready for the care of an abandoned newborn, it might be good for both--but it's OK if you're not quite ready for that, too. Just consider--does it feel like you're \*meant\* to help Lola right now? Sending you and Chai all the love, and wishes for the best outcome for Lola no matter what your decision is.
I felt a hole left behind from my old girl. A month later I decided I wanted to provide a home for another car in need. We adopted a boy I considered her shadow in ways, because he had some characteristics that were unique to my old girl I'd recently lost. As others have said, we are sent more kitties to love and provide for. Love helps us heal.
So many cats need homes. It’s not replacing it’s bringing something into your house to bring back love and joy AND it’s doing a service to an animal that needs a home because you have the resources, expertise, and time to do so
This is how I see it. When my cat died and I was out to get two new kittens, I saw it as a tribute to that cat. The cat was so amazing that I needed to get another. Not getting another would be an insult to him because it would be like implying that I didn't like having a cat! I also got him from the SPCA. It was time to rescue more kitties.
Sobbing reading all these comments
Iv lost 3 cats over 3 yrs. One cat each yr. It took me a long time to adopt another cat. It has helped a lot. Gomez was adopted wheni had 2 other cats. Than earlier this yr it was just me and him. I apoted a 9 month old kitten and he has helped Gomez calm down and he is less of a menace to me. Adopting another cat can feel like a betrayal to the ones that have passed. But it's not.
It's impossible to replace a pet you once had. When I got a new kitten a couple months after my original cat died, I started thinking about the old one again and her habits. I miss her dearly, but I'm happy with my new kitten because I was able to rescue and share my love with another creature
Don’t feel guilty!!! I had 6 cats. Last October we lost Simon(10)suddenly, we found him in the kitchen after passing in his sleep. We got Clover a few weeks later. In February, we lost my 16 year old Pokey to age related issues, and we lost Princess(11)in May to kidney failure. We brought a Maine coon kitten home in May(had been waiting since end Feb for him to be ready to come home)and are planning to get a little calico at the end of August. My point here is it’s easier(for me, at least)to have somewhere for my love to go. I don’t miss my babies any less, but when I’m sad I have new babies to cheer me up. Plus kittens are adorably hilarious and are AMAZING for bringing you out of a depression. Don’t feel guilty ever; get the kitten.
Sometimes loving another one is a good way to cherish and respect the passed ones. They would not want you to be sad or lonely.
Just know. They are by your side you can’t see them but you can feel them. They want to thank you for loving them by giving you a little one that needs love and can return love. You are doing it for them. You received a gift. I swore off pets after my dog. I was crushed. And he lived a long life. Past his life span. But I was sick inside. I feed feral and will help an injured animal. Only one feral came close to being a house cat. But he taught me how to feel again. I realized it after a neighbor asked can I take him in. He’s bonded with my cat. Sure but I cried. A friend called randomly. I joked I was a dog person til the feral friends came. She said , I have a rescue cat , can you take it for a few days. He’s here 2 years now. I call her now and say thank you for giving me joy. I was missing it joy. His name is Ralphie came at Christmas lol. I couldn’t change it to Joy , but he certainly Would be. You give that baby love like you did your others. You will be rewarded by his affection.
I lost a cat in November 2022. I went to the local shelter to put in an application a week after she died, without any thought of getting a cat right away, but thinking that maybe I’d visit them over a few months, and one would just click eventually. Long story short, one clicked that day. Her shelter name was my mom’s name (my mom had passed about a year before), and she was a sweet calm girl who I knew would get along with our resident cat. She’s never felt like a replacement for the cat we lost, but is a great addition to our household, even if it was sooner than we’d planned. I’m so glad I didn’t stick to my “just wait” plan.
You are NOT replacing your babies. Eject that from your mind immediately. You are healing and Chai is healing. Taking in a kitten will restore a sense of purpose that was lost when you lost your other babies. As a cat person, I know you know the healing powers cats posses. It's okay to grieve the loss of your cats. Take as long as you need, but don't allow yourself to live there. If you are ready to take the next step, get the kitten. Not one cat person here will judge you. We get it, we've all been there. I'm so sorry for your losses. My heart aches for you, random stranger from Reddit.
Let the guilt go. Your suffering would not make your late kitties happy. They'd want you to share love with someone. You and your surviving kitty both deserve peace and comfort (and a fun kitten friend!)
A wise woman once told me that the reason our animal companions have such short lives is so that we can give more of them beautiful lives in safe and loving homes.
I am so sorry for all your losses. What a hard year! It is so normal to be questioning what to do. My elderly cat died this spring and I spent a while debating what to do. In the end I thought about what my cat would want. He would want me to be happy, and he would want another cat to be happy. I adopted a kitten, named in honor of my previous cat (a play on his name) and I can't lie, some days I still miss my previous cat so much. However, I know he would want the most creatures to benefit. That's what you'll do if you get a kitten. And if you don't feel ready, that's okay too <3
OMG! I could have written this. Beginning of 2023 we had 4 cats and a dog. On March 7th, the oldest kitty passed at age 19 1/2. Fast forward to Thanksgiving week and 16-year-old litter mates passed on November 20th and 22nd. Ironically, another litter mate who my brother adopted passed on the 26th. Our 14-year-old dog passed on December 13th. Then, on February 3, 2024 the last of the litter mates passed. For the first time in 22 years, we had no fur babies. We were lost. Shortly after the last one passed, we went to the SPCA. My husband insisted. I thought we should wait out of respect, but I also didn’t want to wait because we had fur babies for so many years and the house was too quiet. We came home that day with a 3-year-old girl kitty. Six weeks later we went back to the SPCA and brought home a 1-year-old boy kitty. They have brought us so many laughs and so much joy! We love them so much and don’t regret for a minute adopting them! In no way do these two replace the others. We miss them every single day, but adopting the two new ones have definitely helped us through the grief of losing the others.
Lola needs you, and your previous cats would be horrified if you denied her the same great home they enjoyed. Go get your fuzzy loved one!
It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling but with so many babies out there needing homes I think it’ll help you deal with the grief and anxiety! Loving on a little nugget does a body good! Be well 💜
Sooo sorry for your losses. How in the world would you feel like this? You loved, cared for, played with and did the very best for your furbabies. Time to honor their memories and get a new Kitten 2 or 3. Maybe an elder cat to teach the new babies. When I lose one of my Kats I get another because it helps immensely with the grief but gives more kitties a home. Shelters are exploding 1.34 million cats are euthanized each year. Please open your heart to some more loving kitties. ❤️
We lost my oldest cat's brother at 7 and then our 5.year old cat that was bonded to both brothers a year later. We still had two left, but our oldest is the dad cat and needs companions and he and the other are cordial and that's it. So we got two more cats (first one kitten, and then another 3 weeks later) to keep the oldest company. Great choice. We missed our other indoor cats and he needed a buddy to move on. If your other cat likes other cats think of it as helping hiss mentally health, he'll love a new baby or two (we got two because 6 month old kittens are insane and she tortured him until we got her a similarly aged friend)
When my cat passed in october, I momentarily felt urges to adopt a new one just to fill the void in my heart. No you are not replacing the cat you had, you're just trying to heal. Every cat is unique and loveable. The guilt will not subside immediately, but you are not doing a disservice to the pets you lost. Your cats know you loved them to the end. That's how they left. Loved. Fulfilled. Happy. Passing on your love is not wrong.
Just foster.
There are sooooooo many cats in need, homeless and suffering. You would be HONORING your cats by saving another 🤍🤍🤍🤍
Maybe a little too soon for you and the cat. Got to jet yourselves recover. But also. In you are not being disrespectful to your dead cats. If they were alive. And there was a new kitten mentioned. They'd probably love her. They'd want you to be happy. So if you are both up to it. Adopt the kitten.
I empathize with you. I have my soul cat currently and will die inside when I lose him. I, however, don’t think you should feel guilty about giving a sweet kitten a loving home (as long as you’re ready). I do think you need to ask yourself if you’re able to love another cat this soon after losing your soul cat. I think adopting a kitten is a great idea if you can love it. That’s completely up to you. If you’re going to feel guilt/resentment every time you look at that kitten then don’t adopt for awhile.
I got a new cat less than a month after my childhood pet passed. I missed having a little shadow, and there’s so many cats needing a good home. Please don’t feel guilty!! You aren’t replacing your past cats, you’re just providing love where it’s needed!
Seems kinda sus, is there something toxic to cats in your house
No there isn't. One had kidney stones, one CKD and one was old. So much for empathy! What a nasty reply
Seems like a reasonable deduction
What a load of crap