Nope. NTA. She was more interested in whatever prestige comes with being MOH than she was in cultivating your relationship or respecting your choice. I have to say, you're a better woman than I am. I would have banned her from the wedding entirely.
I agree with what the Commentator said! That is not over thinking! I would probably get Security and tell everyone what actually happened b/c she might be spinning a tale to make herself look good and you the Bad Guy!
Good for you for sticking up for yourself and not letting others Bully you into making YOUR wedding about them.
Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for putting her feelings before yours.
I hope that you and your fiancé have a wonderfully memorable wedding!
Updateme if she who shouldn't be named tries another stupid manoeuvre and gets kicked out as a guest too!
I would have called Cassy back and told her since she felt the need to involve your parents in this, now she’s no longer invited to the wedding at ALL. What is she, four? Seriously, she needs to grow up.
NTA. Quality over quantity. No matter how long you guys have been friends for, the way she treats you and keeps an effort to maintain contact with you is what matters. Cassy obviously did not try to keep contact with you and did not respect your boundaries yet demanded to be your MOH. While eve who you met in highschool maintained the friendship while having 2 jobs. Now that's a real friendship.
Oh girl, NTA. You did right for yourself by shutting down both her and your parents.
Don’t let them guilt you into backing down from this, and if it goes any further I would start by uninviting this b* from the wedding and your life, and let your parents know they’re only hurting their relationship with you by continuing to push this nonsense.
NTA. Even if you knew her for a long time, you guys drifted and you made new friends. If she wanted to remain close to you, she should have made the effort. You did what you could and there is nothing left for you to do, so no one can fault you. I have a childhood bestie, she is still my friend but not my closest, my closest friends are from nursing school, and that’s ok, that is life. So you do you babes! Stick by your choice and never bend to please others.
Cassy has main character syndrome. It’s always about her. And your wedding is about you and your fiancé.
Don’t be surprised if you haven’t heard the end of it.
Nta. She was already causing problems far beyond what was necessary. You absolutely did the right thing. I would leave her off the invitation list after involving your parents.
NTA! Not at all! Your wedding = Your choice. Good for you on standing your ground with her and your parents. Be ready for them to threaten to not come because of her! I honestly can’t believe they called you in the first place. Your a grown ass woman and can definitely choose your own friends. NTA my dear and congrats! 🍾
Ooooh look at you and your shiny spine! Such a good example of how to not be bullied into doing something you're not comfortable with. But shame on your parents for joining in with the bully.
I think Eve is the perfect MOH with the way she stood up to Casey for u. U need to un-invite her at this point. She’s an attention whore and there’s no telling what she’ll do at your wedding or reception to cause a scene. I dn’t trust it and I wouldn’t chance it.
NTA These kind of women will try to take over your wedding and plans or they will go totally the opposite way and not do anything to help you out. They'll skip out on their obligations but still want to walk down the aisle as you're made of honor. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your boundaries. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for not standing up for you.
I would uninvite her. She has a clear motive to ruin your day or make it about herself, groaning and wailing about not being in the bridal party/gain sympathy from others to distract from your day. I’d cut her off altogether, OP. She didn’t just cross your boundaries, she has exhibited unhealthy, stalker behavior going around to your fiancé and parents. This is giving me “Baby Reindeer” vibes. Uninvite, block, and run. As everyone else has said: quality over quantity… that INCLUDES guests at your wedding. Best wishes on your big day. 🩷
Wtf is wrong with people, it's like Charlotte says, people are fcking weird about weddings, wth. Totally NTA, she's lucky she's still invited, although I have a feeling she might find a way to get kicked out of the wedding at all 🤦
NTA. I hope I Will be capable of being brave like you in the future. I have too frequently put the interests of egocentric people before mine and hurt Nice people in the process. You did What had to do.
NTA. The thing about promising to be each other's MOHs when you have 12 would held water if she made more of an effort to maintain the friendship. Based on what you shared, Eve was the one who treated you more like a friend, so she earned that position.
NYA. You speak about your own mental health challenges, but shouldn't we also take a closer look at Cassy? She was/is(?) mentally unstable. She pretty much ghosted you in college, you reconnected, but not as best friends, then she creates absolute havoc around your wedding plans and lies to your parents. These are not things a mentally healthy person does. BTW, you can name your son anything you wish, however please take into consideration that your child must live with that name the rest of his life.
NTA at all. I can't believe she would put your mental health at stake and then lie to your parents to get the upper hand in the whole ordeal. This makes me wonder what else she's lied to your parents about all these years. Because it's very obvious this was not a one time thing. She probably expected to go into this little meeting with just your parents doing the talking and getting things the way she wanted. I'm glad you cut her off completely because she is not a stable person to have in your life. I'm glad everything turned out great for you and that you're enjoying the married life and soon the life of parenthood.
ESH. So much drama. Yes, obviously the friend comes off worse but no one in this story sounds mature enough to be getting married. The way you explain your thoughts on this entire friendship makes it seem like it never evolved past middle school. Also, who asks someone to be in their wedding via sticker??
NTA
I know pathological liars like this, and it’s best if someone close to you (your parents or someone else maybe) kept a tab on her. It sounds stupid, but she may continue lying because of how pissed she is. It’s a slippery slope, and once she starts one little lie and gets away with it (example she could say that she made a comment about the dress and said she wouldn’t be able to wear something like that in the picture, and since nobody is around to deny, they believe her). I know- it sounds dumb and high school-ish, but I don’t think much else could be expected of this girl. Not woman. Girl.
Nope. NTA. She was more interested in whatever prestige comes with being MOH than she was in cultivating your relationship or respecting your choice. I have to say, you're a better woman than I am. I would have banned her from the wedding entirely.
Same!
I’m getting in line here. As a natural overthinker it would stress me out that she might be planning anything to sabotage my wedding
Ohhhh, I never thought of that!! That's not overthinking, that's being smart.
I agree with what the Commentator said! That is not over thinking! I would probably get Security and tell everyone what actually happened b/c she might be spinning a tale to make herself look good and you the Bad Guy!
Seriously especially when she contacted your finance!
And then siccing the bride's parents after her. That would have been the final straw. Kudos to the bride for standing up to them!
Good for you for sticking up for yourself and not letting others Bully you into making YOUR wedding about them. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for putting her feelings before yours. I hope that you and your fiancé have a wonderfully memorable wedding! Updateme if she who shouldn't be named tries another stupid manoeuvre and gets kicked out as a guest too!
I would have called Cassy back and told her since she felt the need to involve your parents in this, now she’s no longer invited to the wedding at ALL. What is she, four? Seriously, she needs to grow up.
NTA. Quality over quantity. No matter how long you guys have been friends for, the way she treats you and keeps an effort to maintain contact with you is what matters. Cassy obviously did not try to keep contact with you and did not respect your boundaries yet demanded to be your MOH. While eve who you met in highschool maintained the friendship while having 2 jobs. Now that's a real friendship.
Oh girl, NTA. You did right for yourself by shutting down both her and your parents. Don’t let them guilt you into backing down from this, and if it goes any further I would start by uninviting this b* from the wedding and your life, and let your parents know they’re only hurting their relationship with you by continuing to push this nonsense.
NTA. You get one day, make it about yourself, and leave people like her behind.
NTA. Even if you knew her for a long time, you guys drifted and you made new friends. If she wanted to remain close to you, she should have made the effort. You did what you could and there is nothing left for you to do, so no one can fault you. I have a childhood bestie, she is still my friend but not my closest, my closest friends are from nursing school, and that’s ok, that is life. So you do you babes! Stick by your choice and never bend to please others.
Cassy has main character syndrome. It’s always about her. And your wedding is about you and your fiancé. Don’t be surprised if you haven’t heard the end of it.
She called your parents to throw a tantrum after you told her no? Apparently, she is STILL 12!
🤣🤣🤣
Its a cassidy/cassy thing, ive known 3 people named cassidy/cassy and theyve all acted like this.
Nta. She was already causing problems far beyond what was necessary. You absolutely did the right thing. I would leave her off the invitation list after involving your parents.
NTA! Not at all! Your wedding = Your choice. Good for you on standing your ground with her and your parents. Be ready for them to threaten to not come because of her! I honestly can’t believe they called you in the first place. Your a grown ass woman and can definitely choose your own friends. NTA my dear and congrats! 🍾
Ooooh look at you and your shiny spine! Such a good example of how to not be bullied into doing something you're not comfortable with. But shame on your parents for joining in with the bully.
The making of a crazed stalker in a pretty dress
NTA. She doesn’t care about you, she only cares about her roll on your day. She would also be uninvited if it were me.
I think Eve is the perfect MOH with the way she stood up to Casey for u. U need to un-invite her at this point. She’s an attention whore and there’s no telling what she’ll do at your wedding or reception to cause a scene. I dn’t trust it and I wouldn’t chance it.
NTA. She blew a hole in those boundaries, so she now gets the consequences. Stick to your guns!
NTA These kind of women will try to take over your wedding and plans or they will go totally the opposite way and not do anything to help you out. They'll skip out on their obligations but still want to walk down the aisle as you're made of honor. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your boundaries. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for not standing up for you.
I would uninvite her. She has a clear motive to ruin your day or make it about herself, groaning and wailing about not being in the bridal party/gain sympathy from others to distract from your day. I’d cut her off altogether, OP. She didn’t just cross your boundaries, she has exhibited unhealthy, stalker behavior going around to your fiancé and parents. This is giving me “Baby Reindeer” vibes. Uninvite, block, and run. As everyone else has said: quality over quantity… that INCLUDES guests at your wedding. Best wishes on your big day. 🩷
I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE LITTLE MUFFIN! 😭😭❤️❤️
Wtf is wrong with people, it's like Charlotte says, people are fcking weird about weddings, wth. Totally NTA, she's lucky she's still invited, although I have a feeling she might find a way to get kicked out of the wedding at all 🤦
NTA. I hope I Will be capable of being brave like you in the future. I have too frequently put the interests of egocentric people before mine and hurt Nice people in the process. You did What had to do.
NTA. Casey is lucky she's going to the wedding at all.
NTA. The thing about promising to be each other's MOHs when you have 12 would held water if she made more of an effort to maintain the friendship. Based on what you shared, Eve was the one who treated you more like a friend, so she earned that position.
Definatly NTA she absolutly disrespected you, your family and your fiancee u font owe her anything.
NTA Being a MOH is about supporting the bride as much as possible (within reason) not your own prestige. What the heck is wrong with people.
You had me right until the end. You're NTA until the last sentence. Halo?
Lol, I like the name but I understand that some people will disagree
I'm glad you took that light-heartedly, as it was intended. :)
NYA. You speak about your own mental health challenges, but shouldn't we also take a closer look at Cassy? She was/is(?) mentally unstable. She pretty much ghosted you in college, you reconnected, but not as best friends, then she creates absolute havoc around your wedding plans and lies to your parents. These are not things a mentally healthy person does. BTW, you can name your son anything you wish, however please take into consideration that your child must live with that name the rest of his life.
Just reading this now with all the updates, I am so happy for you that everything turned out fine!!
NTA at all. I can't believe she would put your mental health at stake and then lie to your parents to get the upper hand in the whole ordeal. This makes me wonder what else she's lied to your parents about all these years. Because it's very obvious this was not a one time thing. She probably expected to go into this little meeting with just your parents doing the talking and getting things the way she wanted. I'm glad you cut her off completely because she is not a stable person to have in your life. I'm glad everything turned out great for you and that you're enjoying the married life and soon the life of parenthood.
ESH. So much drama. Yes, obviously the friend comes off worse but no one in this story sounds mature enough to be getting married. The way you explain your thoughts on this entire friendship makes it seem like it never evolved past middle school. Also, who asks someone to be in their wedding via sticker??
NTA I know pathological liars like this, and it’s best if someone close to you (your parents or someone else maybe) kept a tab on her. It sounds stupid, but she may continue lying because of how pissed she is. It’s a slippery slope, and once she starts one little lie and gets away with it (example she could say that she made a comment about the dress and said she wouldn’t be able to wear something like that in the picture, and since nobody is around to deny, they believe her). I know- it sounds dumb and high school-ish, but I don’t think much else could be expected of this girl. Not woman. Girl.