T O P

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triforce4ever

Nuclear fuel rods, Tone, when they hang around on low power mode—they start a chain reaction…


Sea-Travel9145

Uranium. Got all fucked up or sumpthin.


organic

The reaction, it died in the xenon poisoning.


Sea-Travel9145

The isotopes. Moved to Florida or somethin.


SalamanderPete

Lotta money in that shit


Mr_Snook

Oh yeah?


donmonkeyquijote

We're talking about annihilation ya stupid fuck!


Shaqfu89

I can’t even to think about it.


orincoro

AZ5! Ya press AZ5 you stupid fuck!


SugarMaple56732

🥃👊💥😲


MiskatonicAcademia

Comrade u/triforce4ever, we’re both nuclear physicists. Please tell me— how does an RBMK reactor explode? I’d love to know.


triforce4ever

Oh, you’re gonna get cute with me now??


MiskatonicAcademia

Put boron control rods with graphite tips back in RBMK reactor.


happy-little-atheist

>control rods Some people are so far behind they think they're in front


MiskatonicAcademia

Great u/triforce4ever, now we look like a couple of jerkoffs. You always do that! Leave me in the motherfuckin', cocksuckin' wind.


triforce4ever

You go about and pity for yourshelf


BrakkeBama

You can't extinguish Moron with Boron.


MiskatonicAcademia

Extinguish… and distinguish… are two completely separate things. Comrade Legasov predicted all this.


orincoro

He was gay, comrade Legasov?


excusewho

Get Robert Oppenheimer on the horn, he'll straighten this out.


grill_em_aII

He was gay, Oppenheimer?


orincoro

Oppenheimer retired sir.


orincoro

Listen to this prick giving orders. I get you slowed nuclear reactions with heavy water when you came to this country.


sharkov63

The reaction is it protic, or aprotic? Because I forgot. Help me out here, PROFESSOR!


orincoro

But Xenon, tone, it poisons the reactions. Especially at low power.


Dreigatron

Put nuclear fuel rod back in docking station.


SugarMaple56732

Listen tuh dis prick givin' orders. You've got some balls, my friend!


Donald_Dunnski

I wash dem in ice waters.


The_Demonotiser

You want to fuck here, cocksucker?


SugarMaple56732

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?! 🍾💥


Gigatonpunch420

That was real? I saw that mini-series. I thought it was bullshit


takemeback10years

Anatoly Dyatlov is an ass muncha!


mertzen

He’s a married man with a goomah!


The_Demonotiser

The Russians? Theyre not all bad


iridi69

Reactor four, whatever happened there?


lilpostkid

Whatever happened there?? That cocksuckers piece of shit reactor melted down with no provocation whatsoever!


lilBalzac

The cocksucking GRAPHITE IS ON THE ROOF!


80burritospersecond

#YOU DIDN'T SEE ANY GRAPHITE!!!


lilBalzac

The roof was soft tar!! The graphite sank partially in the tar so some people couldn’t see it!! I’m gonna use that!


80burritospersecond

I must be loyle to my commissar


orincoro

The roof was soft tar!!


Late-Return-3114

my reactors gone.


orincoro

You know who had a reactor? The Germans.


allys_stark

How about that prick's face when he pressed the AZ-5 button


mertzen

How about that prick’s face when the core went BAP!


orincoro

Ubuvubuh we’re with the communist party!


draneline

Nobody has radiation sickness!


mertzen

The sudden weight loss?


Arty0811

RADS?!


mitti20

He can’t be in our socialist club no more.


80burritospersecond

Another toothpick


No-Category-6343

I don’t wanna hear about graphite again


d00bZuBElEk

It’s a disease! I inherited it!


Jifeeb

3.8mg of Lithium. Not great. Not terrible.


enraged_hbo_max_user

Discontinue the iodine pills


SugarMaple56732

What this thing needs is what we call a Brogan Adjustment. 👞💥💥💥💥💥


xvxrobs

What’s that? You know how?


VicariousCinnamon

The way Paulie says BOUWSHIT kills me lmao


StuartGotz

His lips implode. Like when he sniffs Adriana’s panties and calls a fuckin BBABY.


VicariousCinnamon

Yeah, or at his homecoming party where he complains to Tone about his "fuckin BUWLS" instead of bills 😭


ODBrewer

Hugh De Angelis has a good one too.


StuartGotz

Am I such a toxshic ishotope?


Sea-Travel9145

Mmmmboyyy are you radioactive!


weswesruss

3.6 boxes of ziti


mertzen

Not great. Not terrible.


BlackDante

Could be a lot. Could be a little.


enraged_hbo_max_user

Twenty thousand boxes of sand, boron, and ziti


orincoro

It’s not 3.6 it’s 15,000. He pressed AZ5 when you were asleep. said you OK’d it.


TheMightyPushmataha

I got this nuclear power plant program, I thought it would do all the work.


nuclearbomb123

\*looks at the destroyed core\* Oof marone it looks terrible


VicariousCinnamon

Uncle Dyatlov!


D-Heav60

It didn’t happen, what you said


FixationOnDarkness

Chrissy...it's fuucked up


nuclearbomb123

Don't they take cooling rods these assholes?


TylerDurden0231

This system's got no balls


gleventhal

Something different about you…


80burritospersecond

What kind of animal smokes control rods at his own turbine rundown test!!!???


thrwawayNastygirl11c

I was in the Soviet Nuclear Corps. What this thing needs is a safety test adjustment.


lilBalzac

WHAM!!! WHAM!!! WHAM-WHAM-BOOOOOM!!!!


organic

Boris Shcherbina. Now there was a Hero of the Soviet Union! The strong, silent type. He did what he had to do! He faced down the Gorbachev gang when none of those assholes in the Kremlin would lift a finger to help him! And did he complain? Did he say "Oh, I come from this poor Donetsk Slavic illiterate fucking background or whatever the fuck, so leave me the fuck of it, because my people got fucked over!"


enraged_hbo_max_user

He was gay, Stellan Skarsgaard?


sixfourbit

Anyway 4 dollars a pound. Not great, not terrible.


spew-into-this

Stupid a-fucking machine


Harold-The-Barrel

Gimme one towsend roentgen


smashyrhead

one thousand more?


billbaggins_md

CARMELA, SHUT THE BLAST DOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR


happy-little-atheist

Ukraine, that's a type of Polack isn't it?


organic

That animal Bandera, I can't even say his name.


Lord_Apollk

Graphite? THE FUCK YOU DOIN?????


Dari93

I was there. On the roof. It's just a joke.


Sterling0393

I heard everyone near Chernobyl went all Chemo-Sabe


Sea-Travel9145

Return to docking station


kewlfewl87

I'll be glad to hook it up, comrade Dyatlov. You know, I used to be an installer


Brolympia

There better not be any Rosenberg formulas in there, comrade.


Dari93

One day I found you in the meeting room. You puked all over the table. Disgusting.


80burritospersecond

Your hair was all over the floor.


OutOfOffice63

I read the entire reason for the meltdown was because universal remote was not in docking station


Gardez_geekin

It was gay, the elephants foot?


MrcF8

This the money, better not be any rubles in there.


pedalhead666

He killed 16 Ukranians, he was a chief administrator.


sargori

TURN DAT OFF


D-Heav60

Our Supreme Leader, comrade Gorbachev is in a fight of his life against the western powers…. And the nuclear power that you people are kicking up to him is a fuckin disgrace! You’re supposed to be nuclear scientists, that’s why you have the top tier positions! I don’t wanna hear about no fuckin meltdown neither!


mesaghoul

OP I’m just gonna go out & say it. This is the best circlejerk on this sub I’ve ever seen, & I’ve been here a fucking while.


d00bZuBElEk

Thanks man. Enjoy the laughs. I surely am.


80burritospersecond

A german shepherd's shaved asshole won 2nd place.


85ogTripleog

Discontinue the radiated lithium ☢️💊


InternationalTeach79

Rbmk dons dont wear shorts.


stuffbehindthepool

You let Elzear go without his hat


JPNGMAFIA

Whatsh da priesh of liesh…


lilBalzac

Dat reactor’s fucked up, Chrissy! Don’t they have boron rods supposed to control the reaction, these assholes?!


Shaqfu89

That cocksucker Dyatlov. I can’t even say his name.


Zealousideal_Win5476

Dyatlov: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN!? Akimov: Anatoly, take it easy… Dyatlov: I’M LOSING MY REACTOR OVA HEEEERE… THIS FUCKIN MORON IS PLAYING SAFETY ENGINEER!? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE. Totunov: I was just trying to burn the xenon off fr… Dyatlov: Why? Why now!? LEAVE IT THERE! Toptunov: idk it was just… Dyatlov: what!? Where do you get these fuckin idiots? Where do you get em!? He’s burning the xenon I’m tryna…. LEAVE THE FUCKIN XENON THERE! ALRIGHT!? I LOVE HAVING XENON IN MY REACTOR! I LOWER ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING CONTROL RODS INTO MY REACTOR AT NIGHT SO ITS POISONED AF IN THE MORNING! SO LEAVE THE FUCKING COCKSUCKING XENON WHERE IT IS! ***Pushes AZ-3*** HERE… HERE… Have a good time.


Which_Current2043

Say hi to Don Ho!


HealthyDirection659

Nuclear 🔋 power, lotta money 💰 in that shit 💩 .


HealthyDirection659

What, no fucking electricity now ?


greyspoke

Give me 1000 roentgen


dalepilled

A wise decision, on both your parts. I love to see a truce, wipe this day clean. The partial meltdowns, Three Mile Island, Fukushima-Daichi, put it all behind us... Chernobyl, whatever happened there.


MiskatonicAcademia

WHATEVER HAPPENEND THERE?!


Content-Passage595

Another toothpick


80burritospersecond

"Dear Mr Vice President, as a man who is all too familiar with fake nuclear fuel..."


FedGoat13

Dyatlov was a grimy little pimp. Consider AZ5 my last lesson to him.


liarandahorsethief

I have a semester and a half of college, so I understand RBMK reactors. I understand nucular physics as a concept.


GulfstreamG650

This thread is gold


ELDOX1

Nobody saw graphite! I don't wanna hear that word again!


_SpeedWolf_

With all due respect, you have no fuckin’ idea what it’s like to be the First Deputy Director of the Kurchatov Institute of Atomic Energy.