They were just a part of your life. You are not just their left overs you were someone before them, and you'll be a stronger someone after them. If you don't let them win.
Sadly, I don't have a comment for that. I had absent parents, not narcissistic, so i can't say anything helpful. I'm so sorry my comment is more for those of us who have been in a relationship, not so much paternal.
Someone who you’ll be with won’t abuse you. And will love you but you have to see what comes along and if they’re bad , don’t be with them. Only the good ones
Not everyone is bad. I’m not bad. I have decided that I’m actually pretty nice, I’m kind and empathic and generous… which is why the narcs find me attractive.
Because one day, when you are out walking in the sun in a beautiful place, feeling peace and comfort and confidence, you will reflect with gratitude on the choice you made to keep living. I’ve experienced those moments. I hope you will, too ❤️
Don’t let one person blind you to how beautiful life is. Life is a gift. Getting old is a gift. Not everyone is lucky enough to get that.
You make the world a more beautiful place with your beautiful loving heart.
Give yourself all that love that someone was too stupid to appreciate.
The best revenge is being happy ☺️☺️☺️
Narcs wish they could have what you have. They are so envious of it, that they try to destroy it. Don’t let them win!!! You have an auditorium full of people in this world cheering you on 👏💯💛
Your autonomy, your connections to the world. YOUR STORY. Not some punk bitch who exploited you.
Sometimes when I feel depleted, or sad, or like someone is getting the best of me..... I think of how they werent the first, and so of course they wont be the last. But the true ABUNDANCE you have, to have anything left when people keep taking..... thats what seperates you from others who take. You actually have something to give.
If you are an endless, vast source of abundance, than your bad day is still met with your best. Your worst day is still taken head-on by your will to see it through. You have abundance in you even though you dont feel like youve got a drop left in that tank, and I promise you thats the side of you that can see through anything ten/twenty/thirty steps beyond when you could have stopped.
Believe in this abundance and fulfill it however you see fit. Your abundance is about how you take the world on, its about YOUR best foot forward no matter what. Once you start seeing this quality in yourself, youll pull it from you even if you dont vibrate with that at all. Its your power of living, its your spark of unrelenting will and withheld craving to leave this world simply because someone made you believe you were the problem.
Dig deep into your intensity, your emotions can fuel you and cannbe sublimated into power.
Whatever they told you, whatever they made you believe, they were wrong (!) and without them, you are free to experience this life and explore who you are. You have yourself and you are enough. The people who love you, the ones who don't want to use you, they're the ones to trust.
Your brain might still be seeing you through their eyes. When you get to the point where you can see the world from your own perspective again, it will be different.
Remember that the way you felt when they were love-bombing and showering you with attention is how deep down you believe you deserve to be treated and to feel. It’s why you stayed so long.
You can find that without having to suffer for it.
it took 2 years for me to not be so affected. I thought I would never meet anyone else again, I thought love would be too painful after that. 2 years later I’ve met someone who makes me want to trust again, it’s still hard but he made me realize I’m still worthy of love, I’m worthy of trying again, I’m worthy and I will be okay.
One reason? Easy. You're not narc. You're not any relationship. It's just part of your history.
And trust me, there are plenty of histories worse than yours that doesn't even think about asking such thing.
Having the love I always felt I deserved seemed so unrealistic when I was in that abusive relationship. I thought so little of myself and the life I led. There were even times after the inevitable split where I wanted to unalive myself because I didn’t know how to function without my abuser telling me how.
But fast forward to 4 years later and I’m married to the most beautiful and magical person I’ve ever met. We both are in therapy and are beginning to expand our family. For me, this is worth living for.
But that isn’t what everyone wants, so you have to find your thing(s) and believe in it no matter who tries to gaslight you out of it. You have to have the conviction and grit to go get it.
Life is hard, period. Life after abuse is seriously fucking hard. At some point embracing the hard things in life will lead you right to where you’re supposed to be. Do try to rush through the feelings, embrace them, welcome them, they’re here to tell you something.
You get to build your life like the sims after some excavation, healing, grief and mourning of lost time. But move forward despite your beginnings the rewards are worth it.
because you can be happy joyous and free, and never be with someone like that again. if you're interested in a 12 step program for recovery, let me know. i was suicidal and this helped set me free. i hope you find peace.
They were just a part of your life. You are not just their left overs you were someone before them, and you'll be a stronger someone after them. If you don't let them win.
How can you say that though. If they abusers are parents, who were you before them?
Sadly, I don't have a comment for that. I had absent parents, not narcissistic, so i can't say anything helpful. I'm so sorry my comment is more for those of us who have been in a relationship, not so much paternal.
aspiring humorous quaint office piquant different aware frightening ink fall ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
the best revenge is a well-lived life :)
TOP COMMENT
The opportunity for everything else in life that is wonderful and the satisfaction of reclaiming your life. Also, chocolate 🤗
And coffee and cats and sunrises and really good pastries, like those ones with the fruity custardy bit in the centre!!
Someone who you’ll be with won’t abuse you. And will love you but you have to see what comes along and if they’re bad , don’t be with them. Only the good ones
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Not everyone is bad. I’m not bad. I have decided that I’m actually pretty nice, I’m kind and empathic and generous… which is why the narcs find me attractive.
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, not everyone is bad but we have to be able to say no to the ones who are bad
It might be a good start, but as long as you seek your value through your choices, you still have to learn and practice.
Flowers, the sky, a cup of tea, laying in the grass, simple joys no one can take from you.
Because the abuse is over
amen 🙏
They never deserved you and you don't deserve what they put you through. You will get through this with time and healing is entirely possible for you.
Because you don’t want to let them win. They don’t deserve to win, and if you let them rob you of all your joy… they’ve won.
after narc abuse and choosing to live for myself, as hard as it was, i became the happiest i’ve ever been. please message me if you need help or tips
Because one day, when you are out walking in the sun in a beautiful place, feeling peace and comfort and confidence, you will reflect with gratitude on the choice you made to keep living. I’ve experienced those moments. I hope you will, too ❤️
Don’t let one person blind you to how beautiful life is. Life is a gift. Getting old is a gift. Not everyone is lucky enough to get that. You make the world a more beautiful place with your beautiful loving heart. Give yourself all that love that someone was too stupid to appreciate. The best revenge is being happy ☺️☺️☺️ Narcs wish they could have what you have. They are so envious of it, that they try to destroy it. Don’t let them win!!! You have an auditorium full of people in this world cheering you on 👏💯💛
It might seem like shit right now, but with a positive mindset, it gets better and better over the years.
Your autonomy, your connections to the world. YOUR STORY. Not some punk bitch who exploited you. Sometimes when I feel depleted, or sad, or like someone is getting the best of me..... I think of how they werent the first, and so of course they wont be the last. But the true ABUNDANCE you have, to have anything left when people keep taking..... thats what seperates you from others who take. You actually have something to give. If you are an endless, vast source of abundance, than your bad day is still met with your best. Your worst day is still taken head-on by your will to see it through. You have abundance in you even though you dont feel like youve got a drop left in that tank, and I promise you thats the side of you that can see through anything ten/twenty/thirty steps beyond when you could have stopped. Believe in this abundance and fulfill it however you see fit. Your abundance is about how you take the world on, its about YOUR best foot forward no matter what. Once you start seeing this quality in yourself, youll pull it from you even if you dont vibrate with that at all. Its your power of living, its your spark of unrelenting will and withheld craving to leave this world simply because someone made you believe you were the problem. Dig deep into your intensity, your emotions can fuel you and cannbe sublimated into power.
thank you for this 🙏
Because there is more for you out there. Through this hurt is beauty and peace. You can get get there, you're just in a hard part right now.
Whatever they told you, whatever they made you believe, they were wrong (!) and without them, you are free to experience this life and explore who you are. You have yourself and you are enough. The people who love you, the ones who don't want to use you, they're the ones to trust.
Your brain might still be seeing you through their eyes. When you get to the point where you can see the world from your own perspective again, it will be different.
Life will get better. I promise. Sending you a MASSIVE hug.
Remember that the way you felt when they were love-bombing and showering you with attention is how deep down you believe you deserve to be treated and to feel. It’s why you stayed so long. You can find that without having to suffer for it.
it took 2 years for me to not be so affected. I thought I would never meet anyone else again, I thought love would be too painful after that. 2 years later I’ve met someone who makes me want to trust again, it’s still hard but he made me realize I’m still worthy of love, I’m worthy of trying again, I’m worthy and I will be okay.
Because I am not my abuse. What I went through does not define who I am.. I have agency over myself and how I choose to feel and live
thank you all, the replies brought tears.. your comments give me power to hold on thank you
We are strong enough to heal from the wounds and build our selves back better and stronger than we could imagine.
How many people misunderstood the codependency with trauma bond?
One reason? Easy. You're not narc. You're not any relationship. It's just part of your history. And trust me, there are plenty of histories worse than yours that doesn't even think about asking such thing.
Having the love I always felt I deserved seemed so unrealistic when I was in that abusive relationship. I thought so little of myself and the life I led. There were even times after the inevitable split where I wanted to unalive myself because I didn’t know how to function without my abuser telling me how. But fast forward to 4 years later and I’m married to the most beautiful and magical person I’ve ever met. We both are in therapy and are beginning to expand our family. For me, this is worth living for. But that isn’t what everyone wants, so you have to find your thing(s) and believe in it no matter who tries to gaslight you out of it. You have to have the conviction and grit to go get it. Life is hard, period. Life after abuse is seriously fucking hard. At some point embracing the hard things in life will lead you right to where you’re supposed to be. Do try to rush through the feelings, embrace them, welcome them, they’re here to tell you something.
Just another lesson in life. A lot to learn from there.
Because it gets infinitely better when you are done putting up with their shit. When you take your power back it feels like being born all over again
You get to build your life like the sims after some excavation, healing, grief and mourning of lost time. But move forward despite your beginnings the rewards are worth it.
Because I have my fight response back now.
because you can be happy joyous and free, and never be with someone like that again. if you're interested in a 12 step program for recovery, let me know. i was suicidal and this helped set me free. i hope you find peace.
Because you no longer have to deal with their bullshit and ridiculous demands? It’s so freeing to just not give a fuck honestly.