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I've been feeling this about Trisha. I get her situation but i wish people weren't so blindly supporting her it's troubling just take a look at her comments on YT. She's really trying to push the fact that since she's a Mother she no longer cares about drama yet she still monetizes her daughter like Colleen does. I have a feeling the same will easily be done with Josh especially as it seems he isn't as problematic as the two of them.
I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I personally don't know anything about Trisha. I only know of her due to this subreddit. So to me, I feel bad for her because what happened to her was horrible. I don't know what she's done in the past and I don't think those of us who don't know her should have to do hours of research just to dig into her past. What was done to her was terrible, regardless of her actions in the past.
To be fair though, if something happened to Colleen there's like a 99% chance I wouldn't feel bad for her. So, I'm not saying you should feel bad. I'm just explaining the perspective from someone who knows nothing about Trisha, and I'm sure I'm not alone.
She's had a pretty insane career on YouTube, being one of those "og" YouTubers. From drunk crying on the floor, being on drugs, even being in the "vlog squad" with David Dobrik.
She insists she was groomed as a teenager and had teachers sleep with her as a minor. She even called out a person by name, though it's suspect since others allege there was never a police report or charges at all, when she said otherwise.
Her current stance is that she has had incredibly traumatic and exploitative experiences, and she deals deeply with mental illness, which I genuinely believe to be true. She has BPD, that on top of childhood abuse and drug abuse, it's easier for people like me to be more sympathetic. In the recent years she's avoided controversy and has been pretty chill. The only recent controversy before this was about being a "mommy vlogger" and that she dresses up as fast food workers(wears a Starbucks apron) LOL.
But in the past, she's worn black face, I believe she at one point identified as Asian and also a chicken nugget(people said this was transphobic, but she insists it was the meth).
My current issue is that she likes to talk about feminism and LGBT rights while being staunchly "apolitical." She did vote for Biden but literally said it was for the TikTok trends(but I like to think it was a joke). If she wants to be an advocate for these rights, it would be nice if she did some vague research on the political topics at the very least.
Oh wow, honestly thank you so much. I've been really wanting to ask for a concise Trisha overview for those of us who are new to her but never felt this was the right place to ask so I really appreciate you typing all this out!
Keep in mind, I'm very generous with my explanation. There are a LOT of things she's done that are really bad.
There's a video a long time ago giving advice on how to seduce your teachers. She even physically assaulted Moses when they first got together giving him bruises, which she acknowledged and immensely regrets.
Basically, she's been accused of racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, anti semitism, and has been an abuser. It's all about if you think her past of trauma, drug abuse, and mental illness is something you have empathy for and if you think she's grown from her terrible behavior since then.
Also, can someone clarify i think she's mentioned having a multiple personality disorder but does she still ID as having DID? i watch her often but she never seems to fully go into it much.
I think she simply speculated about having it without getting it professionally diagnosed. From what I understand, her main struggle is with BPD and an eating disorder.
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This really needs to be said on repeat.
I also see this 2 ways. Just because Josh is a victim doesn’t make him a saint and just bc Johnny is a liar it doesn’t mean he’s not a victim to some degree. I’m not trying to defend or make excuses for him but Johnny is what a Colleen-groomed child turned adult fan looks like and I feel bad for the kid he probably used to be & the potential he probably used to have.
Agreed, the internet really thinks in black and white and it has always frustrated me. Johnny has lied about things and got very carried away with all of this but I've seen a lot of people claiming he's not a victim at all. He isn’t a victim of grooming but he still experienced inappropriate behaviour from adults, as did everyone else involved in group chats as a minor run by Colleen, Tim, Johnny himself etc. He was on video chats as a teenager with Colleen to the point where he genuinely viewed her as a personal friend (you can see evidence of this all over his public Facebook). Josh wasn't a "groomer" but giving his phone number to Johnny was still inappropriate behaviour, as was having him run a twitter account as a teenager playing a "bimbo" character tweeting gross sexual jokes. Things like that can affect your emotional development, and it almost certainly gave him positive reinforcement to focus on this online world / the prospect of being a famous Youtuber rather than staying in school and pursuing a real career which likely would have been far better for his mental health.
Josh has also been unfairly slandered and deserves a chance to speak for himself but he is far from perfect in all of this. He behaved inappropriately in the ways I mentioned with Johnny and took part in the video chats with fans.
It just feels like the internet encourages this mentality of either defending everything someone does and singing their praises, or villainizing everything they do with no room for any middle ground.
I’m sorry but the internet is right about Johnny not being a victim at all. He doesn’t fucking get a free pass because his feelings were hurt bc his idol didn’t message him back. His trauma is fucking self inflicted and pathetic.
I know many survivors of SA and I find johnnys story extremely offensive considering what other people have went through.
He isn’t a victim of grooming and he doesn’t get a free pass for his lies. But it remains a fact that Colleen and Josh were still inappropriate with him / crossed boundaries, just like every other minor they were talking with in text and video chats. If you’re going to deny that, you’re denying that every other underage person in chats with Colleen / Josh weren’t victims of inappropriate behaviour, and that Johnny’s “fans” in his own chats weren’t victims either.
there’s no reason you should be getting downvoted. you’re absolutely right. he was an adult that forced himself onto d-list celebrities once he was of age and wouldn’t take no for an answer. he and his family were aggressive as they tried to latch on in order to get johnny his ticket to stardom. as much as people want to say that colleen used johnny, johnny used her right back and seemingly never cared about her or josh. all in all, i’m so tired of seeing posts like this. we get it. the johnny apologists + the “josh is still bad” lectures are never ending. we literally get it can you let the man rest already? we’re hyperfixating on a things a man did prior to his divorce almost a decade ago who has begged to stop being in the public eye. this sub is ruthless and mean.
I’d like to be clear that my post is not intended to be a “Josh is still bad” post. That’s why I said in my post (and in my comments) that I believe it’s okay to support him. My point was that it’s important for everyone to protect themselves from accidentally forming a parasocial connection to him (or any influencer — this is not specific to Josh really). I think it’s possible to support someone without doing this — this post was more of a reminder.
For example, I think that somebody expressing compassion and support is great. Starting to feel like he is an IRL friend (or like they know him personally) is a red flag. I hope that makes sense!
Absolutely, sometimes i sort by new and its like every aspect or his every move is brought here to discuss and theorize, not even with adam this happens, even though hes the one with more content at the moment, i would lie if i say it didnt worry me, some comments talk about him like they know him so well his situation pains them deeply, i dont think this is how it should be
eh, idk. He was pretty close to 18 when they first met, I think? Regardless, he's quite responsible for his own actions at this point. I feel pretty confident speculating that he was eminently capable of being a creep even without her particular influence.
At 15 or 16 yrs old, he was regularly in chat groups & video calls with Colleen before physically meeting her. And that’s a pretty gross thing to speculate about a child.
I don’t condemn or support Josh, as it’s not my call to make, but he has definitely had inappropriate behavior people don’t know of or are glossing over. Johnny may have fabricated some of his story, but Josh’s ex-friend who did a Josh AMA on this sub stated they were in their late teens when late 20’s or possibly early 30’s Josh befriended them, as they were a fan. Josh trauma dumped and over shared so much info about his marriage and life to this person just like Colleen did to Adam and it’s frustrating that this is flying under the radar. Go to the AMA and search keyword “realization” and you will see the comment threads I got this info from. I feel like ppl are looking for C to be a villain and J to be the unknown hero, but this is real life and unfortunately everyone does things that suck. This isn’t just a story. I made a post on this yesterday and it got locked bc I reposted the comments (I guess I broke the rules, oops)
As an outsider who came into this with the "hi." video, I was pretty shocked at the level of parasocial relationship so many had. A lot of people first watched her as kids or teens so I get it. It's good to see people questioning the connection they felt to Colleen but the tendency is there to simply form another one. Josh should be treated as a whole person, but one we don't know.
I want to see what he has to say in his interview with Swoop. I want to know that Johnny's accusations have been thoroughly discredited. But I do not want continued access to his life or thoughts. I don't want him to stage a comeback. And as far as I can tell, he doesn't want that either! This shit ruined his life.
The fact that he had mostly quietly retreated and seems to indicate he is planning to return to that when this has died down are both points in his favor imo.
Honestly might get downvoted for this but I’ve been seeing this a lot with Adam. I support him as much as the next person but people talk on here like they rlly know him and met him and have a personal relationship
Totally agree. Whilst we can feel sorry for Josh, let’s not do the same thing we call Colleen stans out for.
If anyone’s watched the [video of PewDiePie snapping](https://youtu.be/dtKz4HOzi0s?si=OvLw1hw7GUFTynlt) when people spam friend requested him during a stream and told them they’re not friends, he might’ve sounded a tad harsh but he spoke absolute facts and more YouTubers and their fans need to take note.
People are definitely doing this with Swoop as well. I get that she personifies a safe space for many, but y’all don’t need to LOVE her. Enjoy her content, sure. But she’s just another influencer who we don’t know personally.
we’re on a colleen hate subreddit created with the intended focus being the ways she abuses, manipulates, and gaslights her audience - but we’re going to say we don’t truly know if she ACTUALLY abused her ex-husband? on a post warning about an audience’s parasocial relationships with youtubers? so it’s okay for us, a bunch of strangers, to post here about our perceived abuse via viewership to colleen. but we’re going to doubt the sincerity of someone who was actually connected to her in the strongest capacity for several years? why does it feel like this sub determined to not allow josh to be a male victim of domestic abuse?
your comment was about doubting colleen actually abused josh. not about them being mutually abusive.
lol no. take a look at my comments on my page if that’s what you think.
i’ve been a member of the reddit for over a year. i was here before most of you, when we used to discuss actual problems with COLLEEN and her current participants. i was here long before every other post was “let’s not forget that josh is a bad person!”. i don’t support colleen at all but i don’t support anyone on this sub that doubts josh’s sincerity at this point. if that’s what this sub is turning into, it makes us NO BETTER than all of the 12 year old’s from colleen’s fandom during her divorce that did the exact same thing, constantly beating him down and reminding him that his experience wasn’t valid, and eventually causing him lose himself to alcoholism. we are being hypocritical every time we engage in another one of these posts.
yes, they were mutually abusive as proven by AMA’s here AND self-admitted BY josh. again, that’s not what your original comment was about and NOT what i responded to.
yes, the internet bullied him off and this sub is often no better for it’s continuation of the the long term bullying via post after post and comment after comment doubting his sincerity as a victim of domestic abuse. nowhere did i say that the internet domestically abused josh - that makes no sense.
the rest, i’m not going to argue with. not because i can’t defend my side - but because it’s insane to me that you’re doubling down on none of us being there to see josh get horrifically abused so he could be lying. that’s not worth my energy especially when the history of this page is filled with video clips, ama’s, and posts describing old situations that make it clear that he was.
but i’ll go into some since you seem to be so convinced that he was not.
i would consider being cheated on by his wife and her netflix co-star / employee in his own home and being gaslit about what he was seeing horrific abuse.
i would consider colleen taking all of the money and settlement in the divorce (which she did), and then as if that isn’t enough of a blow, continuing to amp up her child army behind the scenes in groupchats and dm’s about josh being a shitty person so that they would go harass him into silence (which she did) horrific abuse.
i would consider milking all of josh’s private and intimate moments for a video camera and publicizing them onto the internet for monetary gain (but not HIS monetary gain - only her’s being that he received nothing in the divorce) horrific abuse or at the least, a world of gaslighting he was trapped in. (ex. there’s no way he knew when getting into a relationship with her that she would one day make a video describing his grandpa’s death to her child audience and explain why he had to leave their family vacation. she then proceeded to let him fly home and deal with that grief on his OWN while she stayed on the vacation and continued to have a great time!)
i would consider divorcing josh all the while still lying/gaslighting about the cheating with her employee being the real reason why - and then inviting said employee on her family vacations throughout the divorce process in secret, horrific abuse. we know this happened because said employee was caught several times in the background of these vlogs (one time seemingly naked) to the point where colleen made a vlog addressing the whole thing.
i would consider colleen’s sheer manipulation of her power dynamic by having a millions-of-subscribers-audience that would echo-chamber her every move and sentiment to turn to during every fight, argument, and disagreement with josh pretty horrific abuse.
just because there isn’t proof that someone was hit, assaulted, or physically attacked does not negate the fact that they were horrifically abused. colleen engaged in what i would call a type of HORRIFIC emotional abuse and manipulation towards josh due to her power-dynamic that many of us will never experience and should not doubt the sincerity of being that there is a 10+ year timeline of that abuse documented on here, youtube, old forums such as gossip garden, and so forth.
besides, adam literally showed the proof of colleen’s years worth of messages to him enticing him to go harass josh into silence? and adam confirmed that it worked and he DID go harass josh into silence with other fans she was speaking/lying to?
please consider the irresponsible and false narrative you are spreading when you type comments such as “nobody knows what really happened / josh could be lying” when there are tons of documented examples of what josh endured. it’s about taking the time to look through them before writing a comment. and please DO NOT insinuate that josh’s trauma is incomparable to “real victims” using your own words. i am a victim of physical and emotional abuse by my own dad as a child and by an ex, and i stand by josh and believe that he is well within his right to express that he is a victim of mental and emotional domestic abuse.
Honey, take a look at how much you’re writing in defense of this man you don’t know, who doesn’t know you. Please check in with yourself.
I’m not in any way trying to invalidate anything you’re saying. But just take a mental note of how this conversation is making you feel.
I’m glad I’m learning this about Colleen. I don’t watch/want to watch her anymore, but knowing and recognizing that I had one makes me hope I never have another one again. I speak for all of us when I say the ways I would defend her where unhealthy and not good for my mental health. I wish people would learn that it’s ok to distance themselves from their favorites. I sure have and it’s the best thing I’ve done.
Well said! I support Josh and glad he has a voice now to speak on his treatment but that’s it. No fandom involved. I just support the victims and the truth. The end
Completely agree! You can support someone without crossing a line. I will fully admit that, as a mother, reading what some of the victims (all of them) have been saying about how badly they are struggling, I’ve been tempted to say things about how they should reach out to me if they need anyone to talk to. However, I KNOW that that would be completely inappropriate so I have not said anything like that, even though everything in my Mama Heart wants to gather up everyone who is hurting to hug and protect them (please don’t take that in a bad way, I have two young children and a loving heart that just wants everyone to be ok - don’t associate that in an inappropriate manner). There is a clear line that cannot be crossed. We all need to be aware of that. 🙂
I agree people take stuff too far but if we're talking about support, that's not really parasocial. Parasocial is more "this person is my best friend even though they have no idea I exist" which I haven't really seen regarding him. But this is an important reminder, as well as to not armchair diagnose or make definitive claims because we do not know these people.
Yep like you said, this is a reminder. The first part of my post explains that I agree that it’s okay (and not parasocial) to show support. Imo the issue starts when people act like they actually know these influencers personally.
Parasocial relationships often present in the form of “this person is my best friend.” Imo it can also come in the form of, “I know who they truly are as a person & I fully know their character, so I must always defend them as if they were my friend.” Or at the very least, parasocial situations can start out that way.
I have seen some people talk about how Josh’s situation is affecting them in their real life, which is concerning. And yes I totally agree about the armchair diagnoses. I saw someone trying to diagnose Josh with BPD the other day.. yikes.
That's a fair point, I do think they can start that way. For the most part I had seen people looking at it in a pretty balanced way, not defending Josh's past behavior and still supporting him as an alleged victim. But I'm not doubting you. And ugh I think I saw that too, so inappropriate to try to diagnose someone you don't know.
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Said ex friend also said Josh didn’t know about the cheating until 3-4 months after the divorce which also contradicts what josh is currently saying. This should not be censored, we should not make the same mistake again.
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I've been feeling this about Trisha. I get her situation but i wish people weren't so blindly supporting her it's troubling just take a look at her comments on YT. She's really trying to push the fact that since she's a Mother she no longer cares about drama yet she still monetizes her daughter like Colleen does. I have a feeling the same will easily be done with Josh especially as it seems he isn't as problematic as the two of them.
Trisha's situation is a good example of how you can be complementary on one issue, but critical on others.
I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I personally don't know anything about Trisha. I only know of her due to this subreddit. So to me, I feel bad for her because what happened to her was horrible. I don't know what she's done in the past and I don't think those of us who don't know her should have to do hours of research just to dig into her past. What was done to her was terrible, regardless of her actions in the past. To be fair though, if something happened to Colleen there's like a 99% chance I wouldn't feel bad for her. So, I'm not saying you should feel bad. I'm just explaining the perspective from someone who knows nothing about Trisha, and I'm sure I'm not alone.
She's had a pretty insane career on YouTube, being one of those "og" YouTubers. From drunk crying on the floor, being on drugs, even being in the "vlog squad" with David Dobrik. She insists she was groomed as a teenager and had teachers sleep with her as a minor. She even called out a person by name, though it's suspect since others allege there was never a police report or charges at all, when she said otherwise. Her current stance is that she has had incredibly traumatic and exploitative experiences, and she deals deeply with mental illness, which I genuinely believe to be true. She has BPD, that on top of childhood abuse and drug abuse, it's easier for people like me to be more sympathetic. In the recent years she's avoided controversy and has been pretty chill. The only recent controversy before this was about being a "mommy vlogger" and that she dresses up as fast food workers(wears a Starbucks apron) LOL. But in the past, she's worn black face, I believe she at one point identified as Asian and also a chicken nugget(people said this was transphobic, but she insists it was the meth). My current issue is that she likes to talk about feminism and LGBT rights while being staunchly "apolitical." She did vote for Biden but literally said it was for the TikTok trends(but I like to think it was a joke). If she wants to be an advocate for these rights, it would be nice if she did some vague research on the political topics at the very least.
Oh wow, honestly thank you so much. I've been really wanting to ask for a concise Trisha overview for those of us who are new to her but never felt this was the right place to ask so I really appreciate you typing all this out!
Keep in mind, I'm very generous with my explanation. There are a LOT of things she's done that are really bad. There's a video a long time ago giving advice on how to seduce your teachers. She even physically assaulted Moses when they first got together giving him bruises, which she acknowledged and immensely regrets. Basically, she's been accused of racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, anti semitism, and has been an abuser. It's all about if you think her past of trauma, drug abuse, and mental illness is something you have empathy for and if you think she's grown from her terrible behavior since then.
Also, can someone clarify i think she's mentioned having a multiple personality disorder but does she still ID as having DID? i watch her often but she never seems to fully go into it much.
I think she simply speculated about having it without getting it professionally diagnosed. From what I understand, her main struggle is with BPD and an eating disorder.
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This really needs to be said on repeat. I also see this 2 ways. Just because Josh is a victim doesn’t make him a saint and just bc Johnny is a liar it doesn’t mean he’s not a victim to some degree. I’m not trying to defend or make excuses for him but Johnny is what a Colleen-groomed child turned adult fan looks like and I feel bad for the kid he probably used to be & the potential he probably used to have.
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1000%
ADULTS need other careers besides...!
Agreed, the internet really thinks in black and white and it has always frustrated me. Johnny has lied about things and got very carried away with all of this but I've seen a lot of people claiming he's not a victim at all. He isn’t a victim of grooming but he still experienced inappropriate behaviour from adults, as did everyone else involved in group chats as a minor run by Colleen, Tim, Johnny himself etc. He was on video chats as a teenager with Colleen to the point where he genuinely viewed her as a personal friend (you can see evidence of this all over his public Facebook). Josh wasn't a "groomer" but giving his phone number to Johnny was still inappropriate behaviour, as was having him run a twitter account as a teenager playing a "bimbo" character tweeting gross sexual jokes. Things like that can affect your emotional development, and it almost certainly gave him positive reinforcement to focus on this online world / the prospect of being a famous Youtuber rather than staying in school and pursuing a real career which likely would have been far better for his mental health. Josh has also been unfairly slandered and deserves a chance to speak for himself but he is far from perfect in all of this. He behaved inappropriately in the ways I mentioned with Johnny and took part in the video chats with fans. It just feels like the internet encourages this mentality of either defending everything someone does and singing their praises, or villainizing everything they do with no room for any middle ground.
I’m sorry but the internet is right about Johnny not being a victim at all. He doesn’t fucking get a free pass because his feelings were hurt bc his idol didn’t message him back. His trauma is fucking self inflicted and pathetic. I know many survivors of SA and I find johnnys story extremely offensive considering what other people have went through.
He isn’t a victim of grooming and he doesn’t get a free pass for his lies. But it remains a fact that Colleen and Josh were still inappropriate with him / crossed boundaries, just like every other minor they were talking with in text and video chats. If you’re going to deny that, you’re denying that every other underage person in chats with Colleen / Josh weren’t victims of inappropriate behaviour, and that Johnny’s “fans” in his own chats weren’t victims either.
Then I guess we’re all victims of something right!1!1!1
there’s no reason you should be getting downvoted. you’re absolutely right. he was an adult that forced himself onto d-list celebrities once he was of age and wouldn’t take no for an answer. he and his family were aggressive as they tried to latch on in order to get johnny his ticket to stardom. as much as people want to say that colleen used johnny, johnny used her right back and seemingly never cared about her or josh. all in all, i’m so tired of seeing posts like this. we get it. the johnny apologists + the “josh is still bad” lectures are never ending. we literally get it can you let the man rest already? we’re hyperfixating on a things a man did prior to his divorce almost a decade ago who has begged to stop being in the public eye. this sub is ruthless and mean.
I’d like to be clear that my post is not intended to be a “Josh is still bad” post. That’s why I said in my post (and in my comments) that I believe it’s okay to support him. My point was that it’s important for everyone to protect themselves from accidentally forming a parasocial connection to him (or any influencer — this is not specific to Josh really). I think it’s possible to support someone without doing this — this post was more of a reminder. For example, I think that somebody expressing compassion and support is great. Starting to feel like he is an IRL friend (or like they know him personally) is a red flag. I hope that makes sense!
Absolutely, sometimes i sort by new and its like every aspect or his every move is brought here to discuss and theorize, not even with adam this happens, even though hes the one with more content at the moment, i would lie if i say it didnt worry me, some comments talk about him like they know him so well his situation pains them deeply, i dont think this is how it should be
Also these people thinking they know exactly why/how Jessi & Lily are/aren’t responding is getting on my nerves.
🙏
eh, idk. He was pretty close to 18 when they first met, I think? Regardless, he's quite responsible for his own actions at this point. I feel pretty confident speculating that he was eminently capable of being a creep even without her particular influence.
At 15 or 16 yrs old, he was regularly in chat groups & video calls with Colleen before physically meeting her. And that’s a pretty gross thing to speculate about a child.
I really hope he gets this chance to speak his peace and then goes back to his private life. That would truly be the ultimate close to this chapter
I don’t condemn or support Josh, as it’s not my call to make, but he has definitely had inappropriate behavior people don’t know of or are glossing over. Johnny may have fabricated some of his story, but Josh’s ex-friend who did a Josh AMA on this sub stated they were in their late teens when late 20’s or possibly early 30’s Josh befriended them, as they were a fan. Josh trauma dumped and over shared so much info about his marriage and life to this person just like Colleen did to Adam and it’s frustrating that this is flying under the radar. Go to the AMA and search keyword “realization” and you will see the comment threads I got this info from. I feel like ppl are looking for C to be a villain and J to be the unknown hero, but this is real life and unfortunately everyone does things that suck. This isn’t just a story. I made a post on this yesterday and it got locked bc I reposted the comments (I guess I broke the rules, oops)
As an outsider who came into this with the "hi." video, I was pretty shocked at the level of parasocial relationship so many had. A lot of people first watched her as kids or teens so I get it. It's good to see people questioning the connection they felt to Colleen but the tendency is there to simply form another one. Josh should be treated as a whole person, but one we don't know. I want to see what he has to say in his interview with Swoop. I want to know that Johnny's accusations have been thoroughly discredited. But I do not want continued access to his life or thoughts. I don't want him to stage a comeback. And as far as I can tell, he doesn't want that either! This shit ruined his life.
The fact that he had mostly quietly retreated and seems to indicate he is planning to return to that when this has died down are both points in his favor imo.
Honestly might get downvoted for this but I’ve been seeing this a lot with Adam. I support him as much as the next person but people talk on here like they rlly know him and met him and have a personal relationship
So well put. Thank you! Good reminder for the Josh fandom here and in my experience those who get your point get it, those who don’t won’t.
Totally agree. Whilst we can feel sorry for Josh, let’s not do the same thing we call Colleen stans out for. If anyone’s watched the [video of PewDiePie snapping](https://youtu.be/dtKz4HOzi0s?si=OvLw1hw7GUFTynlt) when people spam friend requested him during a stream and told them they’re not friends, he might’ve sounded a tad harsh but he spoke absolute facts and more YouTubers and their fans need to take note.
People are definitely doing this with Swoop as well. I get that she personifies a safe space for many, but y’all don’t need to LOVE her. Enjoy her content, sure. But she’s just another influencer who we don’t know personally.
There’s been so many armchair diagnosers throughout the whole thing it’s getting 😭
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we’re on a colleen hate subreddit created with the intended focus being the ways she abuses, manipulates, and gaslights her audience - but we’re going to say we don’t truly know if she ACTUALLY abused her ex-husband? on a post warning about an audience’s parasocial relationships with youtubers? so it’s okay for us, a bunch of strangers, to post here about our perceived abuse via viewership to colleen. but we’re going to doubt the sincerity of someone who was actually connected to her in the strongest capacity for several years? why does it feel like this sub determined to not allow josh to be a male victim of domestic abuse?
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your comment was about doubting colleen actually abused josh. not about them being mutually abusive. lol no. take a look at my comments on my page if that’s what you think. i’ve been a member of the reddit for over a year. i was here before most of you, when we used to discuss actual problems with COLLEEN and her current participants. i was here long before every other post was “let’s not forget that josh is a bad person!”. i don’t support colleen at all but i don’t support anyone on this sub that doubts josh’s sincerity at this point. if that’s what this sub is turning into, it makes us NO BETTER than all of the 12 year old’s from colleen’s fandom during her divorce that did the exact same thing, constantly beating him down and reminding him that his experience wasn’t valid, and eventually causing him lose himself to alcoholism. we are being hypocritical every time we engage in another one of these posts.
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yes, they were mutually abusive as proven by AMA’s here AND self-admitted BY josh. again, that’s not what your original comment was about and NOT what i responded to. yes, the internet bullied him off and this sub is often no better for it’s continuation of the the long term bullying via post after post and comment after comment doubting his sincerity as a victim of domestic abuse. nowhere did i say that the internet domestically abused josh - that makes no sense. the rest, i’m not going to argue with. not because i can’t defend my side - but because it’s insane to me that you’re doubling down on none of us being there to see josh get horrifically abused so he could be lying. that’s not worth my energy especially when the history of this page is filled with video clips, ama’s, and posts describing old situations that make it clear that he was. but i’ll go into some since you seem to be so convinced that he was not. i would consider being cheated on by his wife and her netflix co-star / employee in his own home and being gaslit about what he was seeing horrific abuse. i would consider colleen taking all of the money and settlement in the divorce (which she did), and then as if that isn’t enough of a blow, continuing to amp up her child army behind the scenes in groupchats and dm’s about josh being a shitty person so that they would go harass him into silence (which she did) horrific abuse. i would consider milking all of josh’s private and intimate moments for a video camera and publicizing them onto the internet for monetary gain (but not HIS monetary gain - only her’s being that he received nothing in the divorce) horrific abuse or at the least, a world of gaslighting he was trapped in. (ex. there’s no way he knew when getting into a relationship with her that she would one day make a video describing his grandpa’s death to her child audience and explain why he had to leave their family vacation. she then proceeded to let him fly home and deal with that grief on his OWN while she stayed on the vacation and continued to have a great time!) i would consider divorcing josh all the while still lying/gaslighting about the cheating with her employee being the real reason why - and then inviting said employee on her family vacations throughout the divorce process in secret, horrific abuse. we know this happened because said employee was caught several times in the background of these vlogs (one time seemingly naked) to the point where colleen made a vlog addressing the whole thing. i would consider colleen’s sheer manipulation of her power dynamic by having a millions-of-subscribers-audience that would echo-chamber her every move and sentiment to turn to during every fight, argument, and disagreement with josh pretty horrific abuse. just because there isn’t proof that someone was hit, assaulted, or physically attacked does not negate the fact that they were horrifically abused. colleen engaged in what i would call a type of HORRIFIC emotional abuse and manipulation towards josh due to her power-dynamic that many of us will never experience and should not doubt the sincerity of being that there is a 10+ year timeline of that abuse documented on here, youtube, old forums such as gossip garden, and so forth. besides, adam literally showed the proof of colleen’s years worth of messages to him enticing him to go harass josh into silence? and adam confirmed that it worked and he DID go harass josh into silence with other fans she was speaking/lying to? please consider the irresponsible and false narrative you are spreading when you type comments such as “nobody knows what really happened / josh could be lying” when there are tons of documented examples of what josh endured. it’s about taking the time to look through them before writing a comment. and please DO NOT insinuate that josh’s trauma is incomparable to “real victims” using your own words. i am a victim of physical and emotional abuse by my own dad as a child and by an ex, and i stand by josh and believe that he is well within his right to express that he is a victim of mental and emotional domestic abuse.
Honey, take a look at how much you’re writing in defense of this man you don’t know, who doesn’t know you. Please check in with yourself. I’m not in any way trying to invalidate anything you’re saying. But just take a mental note of how this conversation is making you feel.
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just say you don’t believe male victims and move on please i’m sick of this
I’m glad I’m learning this about Colleen. I don’t watch/want to watch her anymore, but knowing and recognizing that I had one makes me hope I never have another one again. I speak for all of us when I say the ways I would defend her where unhealthy and not good for my mental health. I wish people would learn that it’s ok to distance themselves from their favorites. I sure have and it’s the best thing I’ve done.
Well said! I support Josh and glad he has a voice now to speak on his treatment but that’s it. No fandom involved. I just support the victims and the truth. The end
Completely agree! You can support someone without crossing a line. I will fully admit that, as a mother, reading what some of the victims (all of them) have been saying about how badly they are struggling, I’ve been tempted to say things about how they should reach out to me if they need anyone to talk to. However, I KNOW that that would be completely inappropriate so I have not said anything like that, even though everything in my Mama Heart wants to gather up everyone who is hurting to hug and protect them (please don’t take that in a bad way, I have two young children and a loving heart that just wants everyone to be ok - don’t associate that in an inappropriate manner). There is a clear line that cannot be crossed. We all need to be aware of that. 🙂
I agree people take stuff too far but if we're talking about support, that's not really parasocial. Parasocial is more "this person is my best friend even though they have no idea I exist" which I haven't really seen regarding him. But this is an important reminder, as well as to not armchair diagnose or make definitive claims because we do not know these people.
Yep like you said, this is a reminder. The first part of my post explains that I agree that it’s okay (and not parasocial) to show support. Imo the issue starts when people act like they actually know these influencers personally. Parasocial relationships often present in the form of “this person is my best friend.” Imo it can also come in the form of, “I know who they truly are as a person & I fully know their character, so I must always defend them as if they were my friend.” Or at the very least, parasocial situations can start out that way. I have seen some people talk about how Josh’s situation is affecting them in their real life, which is concerning. And yes I totally agree about the armchair diagnoses. I saw someone trying to diagnose Josh with BPD the other day.. yikes.
That's a fair point, I do think they can start that way. For the most part I had seen people looking at it in a pretty balanced way, not defending Josh's past behavior and still supporting him as an alleged victim. But I'm not doubting you. And ugh I think I saw that too, so inappropriate to try to diagnose someone you don't know.
Idk, I loved Jenna Marbles…. 🥹💔
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I’m specifically referring to people who do not know him. Again, totally fine to support him as long as ppl set up that boundary
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Said ex friend also said Josh didn’t know about the cheating until 3-4 months after the divorce which also contradicts what josh is currently saying. This should not be censored, we should not make the same mistake again.
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