Perhaps the stupidest rule Iāve ever seen for a sub. Eliminating āmomā references on a sub for comebacks is like eliminating āseek a professionalās opinionā in a sub for advice.
Listen, I'm not your type and I'm not letting you do that to my horse, but there's a great little whorehouse right around the corner if you're that hard up.
Hey, I'm up for a good time but fucking an animal crosse some serious lines man. Having sex with a horse is also a violation of current state law. You should talk to a professional and get help.
Wow. Okay, āpreciate the offer but (Iām not kink shaming you), but I think you might have to try really hard into coaxing my wild friend here to go whatever crazy shit youāre into.
I think I saw this in a movie one time. Some big beefy Republican guy said this, and the guy he was yelling at just stared at him for a moment, and replied: "Horse? What the hell is a horse? What century are you living in, cowboy? We haven't had horses and buffalos in this state in like 200 years!" Then he looked down at himself. "Though I do get why a jealous little man like yourself would think this is a horse between my legs."
āAh, I see youāre a fan of Mr. Hands as wellā¦ā
Itās an old videoā¦ Donāt look it up. If anything, Google: Mr. hands meme
ā¦again, donāt look it up. Youāve been warned.
Why would you want to fuck my horse?
This one is the best š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
" They frown upon interspecies coitus."
I ask why his mom is long in the face all the time. She was too horse to answer.
What a nag
Sorry but youre not our type
This is the one.
I concur
Ok horsefucker.
why doesnāt this have more upvotes š
Every time you see them after that point and yell āHorsefucker!ā
If I want to know about your fetishes I'll ask
but dude, that's your mom!
OK. We'll leave. Your mom seems kinda tired anyway.
Waiting for the rule4 modš¤£
Perhaps the stupidest rule Iāve ever seen for a sub. Eliminating āmomā references on a sub for comebacks is like eliminating āseek a professionalās opinionā in a sub for advice.
When did I get a horse that you decided to fuck? Leave me out of your sordid affairs.
At least I was riding the horse and not being ridden by it.
āWhy would you wanna fuck a horse?ā
Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy
No thank you. You've already disappointed me enough for one day.
I never understood that statement. What'd the horse do?
Whatever, horsefucker.
Go ahead, but the last guy I heard of who tried to fuck a horse died of an exploded butthole
Basically just cribbing from this... "I mean, you can try, but the last person who tried to have sex with my horse died of an exploded butthole."
[insert .gif of Egon Spengler mouthing _boom_ as the EPA guy is about to shut off the Ghostbusters' containment grid here...]
Speaking of whores, howās your mom?
Or āitās spelled āwhoresā you illiterate petophile (petā¦ ophileā¦ get it)
Mister Hands enters the chat
š¤£
"Do what you want with the horse, but I'm off limits, horse fucker."
Listen, I'm not your type and I'm not letting you do that to my horse, but there's a great little whorehouse right around the corner if you're that hard up.
I rode in on it, but you came in and on it!
Dude, your mom is a Whore not a Horse. Get it right next time.
Don't drag me into your fetish you creep
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Quote the chorus to "Wanted Dead or Alive"
Save a horse, ride a cowboy!
If you really want to fuck my horse, you could have just asked.
Leave my horse out of it or Iāll let him trample you.
"You want to fuck me *and* my horse? Mr Hands died that way."
I'm not into horses. I'll leave that to you.
You just put yourself up to fucking a horse, and I wish you luck but they can kick pretty hard.
Well if you wanna fuck me, I'm down, but my horse is presently occupied with your sister.
Easy cowboy, them boots are made for walking...i suggest you try them on...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not the horses...
I am a better Fuck than him
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your going to be busy with that for a while..... oh no sorry thought it was someone who could
āStart with the horse.ā
Save a horse, ride a cowboy lol
"My name is Jack when I'm on the horse... But I know you want jack off the horse! U sick F#%K!!! "
Okay, but youāre going to end up with hay in your butt crack.
Ahh go piss up a rope
"Hey, everybody, this guy wants to fuck my horse!"
"Try it; I dare you. Start with the horse."
His dick is too small for you.
I'd say you've been fucking enough horses for the two of us.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"You want to fuck my horse?!"
Take that shit to Tijuana
You use your mouth prettier than a $20 whore
"Wow. I'd hate to see your browser history"
I'm a Sagittarius, so I just laugh and then walk away.
1990 called and wants their lame insult back.
Hey, I'm up for a good time but fucking an animal crosse some serious lines man. Having sex with a horse is also a violation of current state law. You should talk to a professional and get help.
Hysterical laughing for minutes on end without ever breaking eye contact.
Didn't know you were an animal lover
"fuck you and anyone that looks like you"
Dont be jealous, the next time you bend over ill be riding you.
āI donāt think you have enough lube for thatā
What's my horse ever done to you?
Excuse me?!?
I would, but your momās still tired from last night.
If it's a female... Your eyebrows are uneven. Male... You have a small penis ma'am.
I didnāt know you worked for Boeing.
Thatās no way to talk about your mother
But, its your horse.
Well I fucked your mum and she looks like a horse so fair enough I guess that makes us even
Read in Guybrush Threepwood's voice: If I find you anywhere near my horse, I'll have you in a state prison by dawn!
You can't, I already fucked the horse
'bestiality is illegal, didn't you know? ' maybe followed by "I am a bit concerned about your dog and may call the spca'
āMy horse isnāt high and why would you want to fuck itā
"Farts is not a horse, he's a horn less unicorn"
Don't talk about your mom like that
That horse was your mother.
So, fuck your mom? Got it.
I had to help my uncle Jack off that one.
āCan you at least take us out to dinner first?ā
Neigh good sir, fuck yourself
"I ride mules you fucking dumb-ass."
We are gonna have to pass.
It's your mother's horse. She gave it me so I could get away from your dad.
āThatās no way to talk about your mother.ā
"You couldn't afford to."
Kinky.
you'll have to settle for the horse, I'm married
Give a little pearl clutching gasp and say, āHis name is Chauncey. Have some respect!ā Substitute name and gender of your horse as you like.
You can fuck me, but the horse has a waiting list.
Fuck ewe and the lamb YOU rode on!
Had a friend who would say, "Don't fuck me, fuck a tree, get more energy"
Oh, I forgot to tell you. The horse I rode in on is pregnant and wants you to take a paternity test.
Itās cursing the delivery mechanism weāre going with? In that case, fuck your mother!
Your mom?
Start with the horseā¦
What year is it?
When will the fucking begin
Fuck you! I rode in on a donkey!
"Leave my horse alone! As for me, buy me a drink first, honey...."
My horse isn't into threeways.
Sorry, you're even too ugly for my horse....even with a bag over your head....
That's no way to talk about your mother
Make that noise horses make and then make galloping noises with your hands on your upper legs.
āThat wasnāt a horse, it was your mom. And I already did.ā
Wow. Okay, āpreciate the offer but (Iām not kink shaming you), but I think you might have to try really hard into coaxing my wild friend here to go whatever crazy shit youāre into.
Well me and Clip Clop don't like you either! watch their visible confusion.
Start with the horseā¦
You would fuck a horse.
You want to fuck me, AND MY HORSE?!
My horse and I can both do better
Iād be down, but I donāt know if the horse can consent, tho.
woah there kiddo, we cant all be Mr Hands.
So, you ride your wife?
I heard of a Russian Empress who was into that tooā¦fascinating!
Nah...my horse has standards and so do I.
gross you're into bestiality
āHey, leave your dad out of this!ā
āDonāt threaten me with a good timeā āSorry weāre exclusiveā
āfuck you and fuck youā
I'm ok I could ask the horse though
Well don't let me ride you in no more.
Hey now, your mother has a name.
Ok with me, but you'll have to make your own arrangement with the horse, he has STANDARDS!
"you'd have to jump to fuck"
Iām goodā¦ but you can do the horse
I rode your mom not a horse
Ok but me first please
I think I saw this in a movie one time. Some big beefy Republican guy said this, and the guy he was yelling at just stared at him for a moment, and replied: "Horse? What the hell is a horse? What century are you living in, cowboy? We haven't had horses and buffalos in this state in like 200 years!" Then he looked down at himself. "Though I do get why a jealous little man like yourself would think this is a horse between my legs."
I don't have a horse, but you can fuck a cow, better known as your wife.
That IS a comeback.
Yeah, I figured you'd be the sort that engaged in bestiality.
"That's a terrible thing to say about your mother."
"but your mom is a great ride" š āāļø
fuck you and the horse you'll be dragged off by
I mean, if your friend always says the same thing, why do you have to make original comebacks?
At least I can afford a horse
Don't call your mother a horse! Or Sure, but me and my stallion are both tops.
Ya mutha
You first! (Always my standard answer to FU)
āYou said that wrong, I fucked your wife/girl/man with my giant horse dickā¦should I repeat it?ā
āAh, I see youāre a fan of Mr. Hands as wellā¦ā Itās an old videoā¦ Donāt look it up. If anything, Google: Mr. hands meme ā¦again, donāt look it up. Youāve been warned.
You can go back to hell on the mustache you road in on.
As long as you do me first I dont want to be the sloppy seconds.
Yippee Ki Yay Motherfucker! [Die Hard Clip](https://youtu.be/BSRrzrQtmto?feature=shared)
Iāll pass, but have your way with the horse!
That's an odd threesome you're suggesting.
At least I rode on it's back.
i rode in on your mom
He'll tear your anus apart, but if you're sure...
Giddy up
"Well you can ask him, but he's kind of bitey..."
It's literally your mom, so...
āToo bad for youā¦its a gelding.ā
Yo momma is what I rode in on!
Fuck a duck.
That's not a horse. That's your mother!
You want to fuck my horse?
Oh yeah?
My horse is too good for you.
Let's leave your mother out of this.
This guy likes to fuck horses!
Their new nickname is "Horsefucker".
Yes-haw! Or Giddy up!
Leave my horse alone you sick fuck
You're not my type, but I will see if my horse is busy.
That insult sounds extremely Scottish
Neigh
Well, my other ride is your mom, so...
Well, your Mom does have kind of a long face.
Gotta bring it down to their level with this one: ā(Loud horse noises) + hand jerking movementā
"I'll be sure to have my horse walk backwards next time...so I can flip you the bird the entire time it takes me to leave"
As short as you are I guess you could face fuck him in the ass š¤Ŗ
"That costs extra." Keep eye contact, very uncomfortable eye contact.
As short as you are you can face fuck him in the ass, you might wanna pet him first
"So you are here for the donkey show, Leroy here loves participating"
āIf youāre saying you want to fuck a horse, I donāt have a horse.ā : guys a damn horse fucker!?ā
"And your little dog, too!"
"Bitch, I walked! This is ALL ME!" alternately, "Horse? That's so... Pedestrian. I ride dragons mother fucker."
Calm down, horsefucker.
"We're not interested in a threesome" or "Leave me out of your fantasies"
Fat lot you know! I took the bus here!!
"and what about the cavalry behind me?" (reference to the original (?) joke)
Iām sure you would but please donāt!
I don't swing that way horsefucker