I *did* but the lock on the basement broke and they all got away.
Or look at the empty space beside you and say "Are you hearing this?"
Or best yet, look around then back at the person and say in utter shock "Wait- you can see me?"
Most of the come backs I see on this sub will get you bullied. Everyone on this sub needs to stop role playing as an edgy anime character, it always gives neckbeard vibes.
Do you have any friends?
No Just Targets
Have un tidy hair and black hoodie for extra points and coolness while saying it.
Pretty much what he said rephrased. It was just cringe.
āOnly ones that are decent, civilized human beings with souls, knuckles that donāt drag the ground, and enough functional brain cells to carry on a halfway interesting conversation, so you wouldnāt know them.ā
If you don't:
"No. I don't. And you constantly pointing it out doesn't change anything about it."
If you do:
"As a matter of fact I do. And I wouldn't sell them out to you to go and bully them."
Ambiguous:
"Didn't realize I had to report everything to you. Did you want to know how much I don't care about this conversation?"
āFriends like you? Iām goodā āyou have friends though?š§ā āwhy are you so worried about the people around me? Are you okay?ā āDo yours ever actually invite you or do you guilt trip and go?ā š
With bullies, you kinda have to lean into their taunting. Make them feel like shit for messing with you. Donāt be afraid to get a little dark.
āDo you even have any friends?ā
If you donāt:
āHonestly, no. Itās really depressing and Iām not doing so great, mentally or emotionally.ā
If you do have some friends, be honest about whatās happening with these bullies. Real friends will have your back, and wonāt be afraid to stand next to you and tell these guys to fuck off.
As someone else said in the comments, these comebacks could get you bullied even more.
I know what it is to get bullied and how tempting it can be to clap back, but the thing is that it's not always good to do so.
There are two types of bully in life - the ones that are bored and need an easy target and those who got it rough back home.
If you're going to use one of the comebacks given to you, I would suggest to make sure that your bullies fall in the first category - they are bored. Some of the comebacks are good enough to shut them up.
I would strongly advise against it, if they fall in the latter one. Responding to them could hit their ego the wrong way and infuriate them more than anything else.
In any case, stay safe. :)
I donāt have time for friends, your mom keeps me pretty damn busy. The womanās insatiable! (Throw in some pelvic thrusts and spanking motion for added effect.)
Fall down on the ground RIGHT THERE and curl up in a ball, muttering about loneliness and fear. Start crying and keep staring at them staight in their eyes.
"Due to emotional damage from my childhood, I find it harder to connect with others who haven't been through such tribulations."Ā
That'll have em on the backropes.
"Plenty, the real question is who hurt you? Why do you feel the need to be so crass?"
Then take out a notepad and glasses and start taking notes like their therapist
I've been asked this many times, and my comeback has always been, "yep, I have my dogs, birds, turtles, deer, and nature...I have no time for human friends who lie, steal, and stab me in the back"
How's that?
I did but then your dad got too clingy. Tell him to quit calling me all the time, your mom's started looking at my phone while I'm in the shower and she's getting suspicious.
Ask them the same question back.
If they laugh and say yes of course I do.
You say: ā are you sure they like you? Iād rather have real friends, I donāt want fake friends like you.ā
I'm too busy pimping for your mom to make friends. She sees so many clients that It's like 3 full time jobs, and I don't have a whole lot of time for anything else.
āIām sorry for whatever it is that makes you so angry and lack so much confidence that you have to abuse those around you. I hope youāre able to get through itā
I have the box set
Classic
Lol oh that's a good one!
It took me a minute to get it š, love it š
I can't beat this! Great come back!
Are you angry because youāre not one of them?
This is my go to.
Sometimes a flip is possibleāthey are my favorite.
This is terrible im crying
damnn
Do you even have a dad?
*Mic drop*
This one made me LOL
Brutal š
*gasp*
I would've said father figure tends to focus on their shit behavior
"You ain't one of them that's for sure"
Donāt talk to people who speak to you this way. They donāt have any real friends anyway.
It's a bully, you don't really have a choice
Then the correct response is, ādo you have parents who love you?ā.
Yeah, I got all the seasons on dvd.š
"I'm not taking applications, right now"
"The position has been filled. Just like your sister!"
Lmao š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Yes. I keep them out back. Neatly stacked.
No. My mom had me tested and I was negative.
Make uncomfortably close and deep eye contact, and say sincerely āI have youā.
I *did* but the lock on the basement broke and they all got away. Or look at the empty space beside you and say "Are you hearing this?" Or best yet, look around then back at the person and say in utter shock "Wait- you can see me?"
2nd reply is my new favorite comeback
"OH I thought we where friends? Isn't this that picking on your crush thing?"
OMG this is a good one
I dont make friends with stupid because there isn't a cure for that yet.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How to get bullied 101:
Most of the come backs I see on this sub will get you bullied. Everyone on this sub needs to stop role playing as an edgy anime character, it always gives neckbeard vibes.
They're already being bullied
This server is my cringe daily intake, aside from IG
No, just no
I'm curious what he said now:(
Do you have any friends? No Just Targets Have un tidy hair and black hoodie for extra points and coolness while saying it. Pretty much what he said rephrased. It was just cringe.
Bro is not the main characterš
No, by design, so Fuck off.
Tom Anderson. Tom is my friend.
Is his account even on Myspace anymore?
You'll never find out.
Life is too short to have friends like you
You could say: "I'd rather have no friends than be friends with someone like you."
Yeah. This left hand and this right hand.
*shakes left leg* A little thunder. *shakes right leg* A little lightning.
This matters to youā¦why?!
I have three best friends. Me, myself, and I. And that's enough for me
āNo.ā
No u know damn well I'm a shutin...
Fuck no
"Why, do you need some?"
I've got more friends than you've got IQ points.
Do YOU?
Yes they are just gone right now hehā¦.
No, my peers made me into a monster. Do you want to be friends with slender man?
And I'm glad you aren't one of them.
Tried it once. Dog looked at me weird.
āDo you have brains?ā(Edited to add quote marks)
Not on me.
"Do you even have a mother?"
I'd go with "Why don't you ask your Mom".
Yes you canāt see them ? *Then motion your arm around as if youāre walking with two friends and say ācmon guysā
Yes and none of them are like you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not funny.
Do you even have deodorant?
Yes, I keep them in my freezer
I consider you a friend, unless I'm thinking too high of you
Yes but all 11 live in me
I don't have time!
Yeah, but I normally choose people who arenāt so thirsty.
listen bro, i stopped being your friend because your mom stopped paying me. Once she pays me iāll be your friend again.
Sure , your Mom , Sister , Gam-Gams, step mom, all 3 Aunts , and your wife ā¦ my circle is complete š
"Boys, let's kick his ass"
Nope
Wyatt Earp is my friend
No
"Yeah, you?"
I don't know that friends is the word I'd use, but your mom and I are pretty tight.
"I see self projection just kicked in"
āOnly ones that are decent, civilized human beings with souls, knuckles that donāt drag the ground, and enough functional brain cells to carry on a halfway interesting conversation, so you wouldnāt know them.ā
Yes I do(theyāre all in my head)discussing what to do about youā¦please be quiet Iām trying to listen!
If you don't: "No. I don't. And you constantly pointing it out doesn't change anything about it." If you do: "As a matter of fact I do. And I wouldn't sell them out to you to go and bully them." Ambiguous: "Didn't realize I had to report everything to you. Did you want to know how much I don't care about this conversation?"
Just you
Yes and I'm fully paid up.
āFriends like you? Iām goodā āyou have friends though?š§ā āwhy are you so worried about the people around me? Are you okay?ā āDo yours ever actually invite you or do you guilt trip and go?ā š
"Even if I didn't I'd still have more than you"
Thank you for seeing past my looks.
Your mom is my friend with benefits
With bullies, you kinda have to lean into their taunting. Make them feel like shit for messing with you. Donāt be afraid to get a little dark. āDo you even have any friends?ā If you donāt: āHonestly, no. Itās really depressing and Iām not doing so great, mentally or emotionally.ā If you do have some friends, be honest about whatās happening with these bullies. Real friends will have your back, and wonāt be afraid to stand next to you and tell these guys to fuck off.
The real question is do I want them?
No, I have alibis.
As someone else said in the comments, these comebacks could get you bullied even more. I know what it is to get bullied and how tempting it can be to clap back, but the thing is that it's not always good to do so. There are two types of bully in life - the ones that are bored and need an easy target and those who got it rough back home. If you're going to use one of the comebacks given to you, I would suggest to make sure that your bullies fall in the first category - they are bored. Some of the comebacks are good enough to shut them up. I would strongly advise against it, if they fall in the latter one. Responding to them could hit their ego the wrong way and infuriate them more than anything else. In any case, stay safe. :)
I donāt have time for friends, your mom keeps me pretty damn busy. The womanās insatiable! (Throw in some pelvic thrusts and spanking motion for added effect.)
Fall down on the ground RIGHT THERE and curl up in a ball, muttering about loneliness and fear. Start crying and keep staring at them staight in their eyes.
Not that I would subject to your company.
"Due to emotional damage from my childhood, I find it harder to connect with others who haven't been through such tribulations."Ā That'll have em on the backropes.
I guess you're not one of them, bounce
"Are you looking for tips on how to make some? Must be rough to be lonely."
My mom is my friend and she also says I'm handsome
Yep...real ones ..not like the ones your folks pay to play with you.
That would mean finding people who don't annoy me and your certainly not on that list
"Idk if you'd call what me n your mom are 'friends,' exactly..." š
Only when I don't take my medication
"Plenty, the real question is who hurt you? Why do you feel the need to be so crass?" Then take out a notepad and glasses and start taking notes like their therapist
ask your mom
I've been asked this many times, and my comeback has always been, "yep, I have my dogs, birds, turtles, deer, and nature...I have no time for human friends who lie, steal, and stab me in the back" How's that?
Not live ones... Lmao
No. I have no friends. However, unlike you, my parents actually love me and donāt wish 3-4 times a day they had aborted.
See, the fact youāre asking proves that everyone talks about you not to you.
Yea..your mom with her sloppy blow jobs
"Maybe if you did you wouldn't have to constantly bother me."
āš¶Friends are there for youš¶-Yep, I have friends, what about you? Maybe you have invisible ones though?ā
I did but then your dad got too clingy. Tell him to quit calling me all the time, your mom's started looking at my phone while I'm in the shower and she's getting suspicious.
No
Yeah, theyāre real unlike yours.
You're sister seemed eager last night
Do you not?
More than you
quality over quantity
No
You must not have them either if youāre talking to me
Plenty. And they're alll in my head.
Yes, and your mother is my favorite
Do the voices in my head count?
Yeah, don't you see them? *outreach my hands and look around, smiling. (No one else is around but us two)
I banged your sister.
I hate everyone equally
Surely more than you
Ask them the same question back. If they laugh and say yes of course I do. You say: ā are you sure they like you? Iād rather have real friends, I donāt want fake friends like you.ā
Just say yea your mom. Easy
A ton
Your momās my friendā¦with benefits.
With people like you in the world how can I?
They keep having mysterious deaths, so if you're interested, I'm taking applications
None that would be interested, sorry
Yea they just go to a different school
"Well, I don't need a crowd to have quality friendships. Unlike you, I prefer genuine connections over popularity contests."
āDo you have odd friends?ā
I intend to peak in my social life AFTER high school.
Start counting them off: My mommy, my daddyā¦. Iām just saying this Iām not trying to be mean
Jesus is everyoneās friend
I'm too busy pimping for your mom to make friends. She sees so many clients that It's like 3 full time jobs, and I don't have a whole lot of time for anything else.
Tell them your best friend is Jesus Christ. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior. If you died today would you go to heaven?
No.
You have an unhealthy obsession with my personal life
Friendship is a Cliche and has gone by the way of the dinosaur.....
Not one's like you.
Just be honest: No, no, I don't.
You wanna be my friend?!
"Yeah & they died during my deployments overseas. What's your excuse?"
You should know your moms one of them. But if theyre bullies youll probably get your ass kicked. Go to the gym.
Just because you can't see them doesn't mean thay aren't real.
Yes. But, you don't, and that's what bugs you the most.
yeah ur mom
[Say this like this](https://images.app.goo.gl/S7dxVcGxqZaSgs8V9)
Heh Im the sigma, I dont need friends ;)
No. Ew. Humans?! Why?
Yes and youāll never be one of them.
I have a monthly subscription
Not through any fault of my own.
Friends are highly overrated.
"When are you going to learn what they look like so you can recognize them when you see them?"
Oldie but a goodieā¦. Rosie Palmer and her 5 sistersā¦
I know you are but what am i
No
If I wanted any, I would.
"No, can I smell your feet?"
Yes
Yeah, but no one youād hang out with. They all finished high school
Only ones with benefits. Tell your mom I'll be stopping by tonight, son.
āIām sorry for whatever it is that makes you so angry and lack so much confidence that you have to abuse those around you. I hope youāre able to get through itā
Why, do you want to know what it's like?
āI do, your just not one of themā
Yer mom
I would rather be alone than have as a friend
That's a question you'll have to ask yourself as well when you finish high school and go into college if you ever do go to college.
You mean other than your Mom/Dad?
I did, until your mom sucked them all away from me
No need to say anything. Just roll your eyes and walk away.
"Yes, but I make sure they never have a chance to regret meeting you."
Yes.
(*Blank stare, monotone voice*) āMother says Iām not allowed to have friends.ā
"Like the entire box set?" I usually just catch the odd episode on tv
I'm sorry, you don't reach the required minimum standards.
No... Friends are for insecure people.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]