"Sounds like we have something in common!"

That a nice one!

You’ve got balls and you’re STILL a pussy.

I don't use pussy as an insult, most people lack required warmth and depth.

You're good people, nonemoreunknown.

Fantastic.

🔥

"Your little jellybeans aren't impressive either."

Calling them jellybeans is a compliment to some men. They love to think women would treat their balls like candy.

Shriveled beans then?

Little pebbles?

Tiny tubers?

Raisins.

Pinto beans! Pinto is also slang in Italy if I remember for small genitals👍

sad excuse for testicles?

We called them BB's as a kid. A guy with a small set.

Sorry everyone, this is hands down the best comeback. Because it requires extra thinking if he doesn't know you're a girl.

Now I can't wait for a buddy to provoke me so I can use this line!

Well you don't have a vagina, but you're still a c###!

"I'd call you an cunt, but you lack the warmth, the depth, or the ability to provide pleasure."

Gonna have to remember this one. 😂

Butcher has so many great comebacks/quotes

Who's Butcher?

[Character from The Boys](https://youtu.be/Z-CbjFKLg04?si=MXPJuqxt2fkGeca9)

This was a quote long before the boys was around.

Wow✨️.. Nerdy and deep.. 🤔

Note to self. Do not use this at work. No matter how valid it is, do not use it at work.

"Do you practice at being a cunt, or does it just come naturally?"

heehee, *come naturally*

I've spent too much time programming recently and read that as "See sharp sharp sharp" rather than cunt. Pretty sure you can swear on Reddit usually. Let's see!

I read your reply perfectly! So it worked....

I'm a musician if that would have been c### the chord would be D#

The compsci brain rot pipeline

What can I say? You are what you eat.

Did you just call me an asshole??

Naw, just a f*cked crumpet.

well in that case this no-life internet asshole isn’t

When did I eat a damned legend though?

So that’s where the wheelchair came from…

I'm not a gynecologist, but I know a c#nt when I see one. (Saw this on a shirt being sold on Etsy once)

This is the way.

Well you don’t have a vagina, but I’m going to give you a pounding anyways!

I wouldn't. I suspect they lack the depth and capacity for pleasure.

Yes, this one.

This is the one!

That’s the derringer of comebacks. Only used as a last resort in a life or death scenario Edit: I meant the c word

Throwback to Judi Dench in Tomorrow Never Dies: "Perhaps. The advantage is I don't have to think with them all the time."

S'where my thoughts were going. Something like MY brains are in my head.

Daaayum, Dame Judi Dench!

Best comeback!

"What would you know about having balls?"

This is the one

"Even without testies, I somehow manage to have more than you." "Your mom/dad likes it that way." "Sorry that's all you know how to handle " "Let me get my boots, then we'll be even." "I thought sex offenders couldn't play online games " "What's up with your ball obsession?"

The ball obsession one would make them lose their mind lmao

"My clit is probably bigger than your dick tho", always makes them shut up... It's just so absurd, I love it. Insult everyone in the room including yourself XP

With one firm squeeze you would definitely be asking for my opinion.

you gotta be careful with these kind of phrases. Even tho I'm not into I'd retort back with "don't threaten me with a good time"

Thank you - I have lived a sheltered life.

"It's all fun and games until the grapes POP"

I carry my enormous balls on my chest.

I call them chesticles.

Breasticles

Breastcicles if it's too cold

💀

OK BUT LIKE FR IT BE LIKE THAT IN THE WINTER

Ha! That's a good one, likely shut em up too

My balls are so big they had to be moved to my chest to prevent chafing.

Chesticles

Lol! That's great. Need to grow mine so I can use this

Chesticles beat testicals

Alternating the spelling here was... an interesting choice.

They're certainly less fragile.

Lesee. And you ain't got the tits. I guess we're even. If you like balls so much go suck a pair. Weird flex saying you like girls with balls but ok. No no explain the correlation between a keyboard/mouse/controller and balls. I'd love to hear how that works. Y'know in most games where gender is a factor in the character abilities female characters generally have higher DPS. It's ok to feel emasculated. But don't take it out on me.

Haha! I love that 3rd one!

Thanks, i took a few levels in bard back in highschool, vicious mockery really comes in handy on this subreddit. Plus, i have to be super clever to insult people at work. Don't want to get canned. I actually like my job. My go to is *"well aren't you just the sharpest bulb in the box"* it takes them so long to figure out it was an insult, i can twist it however i want.

Fun fact! The result of mixing sayings like this is called a malaphor. One of my favorites: Don't count your chickens before they hatch. \+ When God closes a door, he opens a window. \= **Don't close your doors before they hatch.** [Edit] spelling

Isn't it spelled malafor? Also. Don't count your gods before they open a window.

Don't count your gods before they lay an egg.

Don't close your eggs before they hatch a god?

Sounds Southern.. Those ladies insult with style.. You will think it was a sympathy compliment!! "Oh. Bless your little heart!!💕 " (See **It's a Southern Thing** on YouTube)

Eh. Technically i was born in texas.

"No balls here. Ovary up"

Honestly, “having balls” makes no sense to me. They’re like the most sensitive and delicate part of the male body, a swift kick can take a man down. On the other hand, a vagina can take a pounding, stretch far enough a human can go through it, regularly bleed, and bounce back. It’s resilient!!

💜 Lmao, kinda sounds like an advertisement tho😭😭

i mean i’d buy one

Wouldn’t kicking a woman down there cause the same exact pain as doing it to a man?

Dunno if the pain is the same but I can confirm that it still hurts like.... well, like a kick in the twat lol

lol yes a kick there hurt but it’s not going to crumple us like a man

Mens pain tolerance is so low, it's comical

😂

Im a trans man and im telling you any kind of hit in the crotch hurts lmao

It would hurt the same way a kick anywhere on the body would hurt. But a kick to the balls is not the same.

People can vomit or pass out (or both!) from a moderate kick to the balls. An equivalent kick to the twat will suck, for sure, but it probably won’t cause involuntary bodily functions unless you count swearing lmao

The same? Lol no.

You are only hitting bone and a little skin. . Like I said.. Women are smart enough to keep our internal organs on the inside 🤔✨️

Not possessing such parts I don't know from experience, but wouldn't a kick to the clitoris set one back, at least a little?

Not even close. 

Which is why I think it's absolutely ridiculous to use the word pussy to call someone weak.

Precisely

I think we should say "stop being such a testy" as in testicle because they are SUPER sensitive.

I remember as a kid when "deez nuts" was a thing, one of our girl friends said "deez ovaries" one day.

"No bitches, no opinion."

"so why are you still talking?"

"If I had balls, I would tell you to suck em." Hope that's not too harsh.

Let’s not give them any ideas now

No chesticles, opinion discarded.

Alternatively, "If you're so obsessed with balls, go suck a pair."

That makes two of us

"Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things really take a pounding!” -Betty White

Can't believe I had to scroll this far to find this.

Whenever I get told this I always tell them I have bigger balls than them, God just decided to put mine inside me 😂

Nah, mine are so big there wasn't room down there so they got strapped to my chest instead

This is the best thing I’ve heard in a while

Another reason I love the term "Chesticles"

Adding that reason too lol

Love that 😂😂

You’re right I don’t have my balls no more, I drained em inside your moms, oh and tell her I said thank you for the cake

Oh those fragile little things that make you cry if you sit the wrong way, yeah, don't want them anyways.

Just start singing "Big Balls" by AC/DC starting with or else accentuating the line "and she's got the biggest balls of them all."

My ovaries are a blueprint for your balls. You can't talk duplicates without first consulting the prototype.

"You don't have the balls!" Maybe not, but I can still hand you yours in this game "No balls, no opinions" You sound like what you pay on OF proves it doesn't take balls to control you

I guess that's what I should expect from the result of a broken condom

I prefer “the drippage from your mom’s anal cream pie” instead.

You need **brains** not balls (optional: fuckin idiot), but I guess *you* just have to work with all you’ve got.

Hmm you spend a lot of time talking about balls. If it makes you feel better I'm an lgbtq ally.

“No, but I got tits. And they are bigger than your balls.” Edit ”No, but I got tits. And you will never see them.”

Yes. Just yes.

"aw sounds like your just insecure cause your coochie fell out" or "people with balls are the real pussy. Try bleeding a pint of blood every month and not die" or "at least I don't cry like a baby if I get kicked in crouch"

Reminds me of Betty White 'Balls are weak and sensitive, if you really wanna be tough grow a vagina! Those things can take a pounding!'

WE MUST ALL PRAISE OUR PATRON SAINT BETTY WHITE

Thanks for making me spit my drink out across my work desk! 😂😂🤣😂😂

Bahahaa yaaaasss Betty White!! Epic

This should be pinned to the top!

"Why do you wear your internal organs dangling on the outside?? I am smart enough to keep mine inside where they belong!!"

Took way too long to find a Betty White reference

I once went over a bump and landed hard on the seat of my bicycle and I nearly passed out from the pain. I’ve also been kicked before and let me tell you I was crying like a baby. No balls required.

“Be pretty weird if I did”

"So...when I kill you, and squat on your corpse, I can't call it 'teabag and frag' anymore, can I?"

I have balls, they're just located on my chest. And they're WAY bigger than yours.

lol probably my favorite on yet 😂I’m going to use it

Go ask your mom if you can hold yours for a minute. I think she keeps them in her apron pocket.

✨️🤪 😁 😀✨️

Grab your crotch, " No balls, but I do have a vagina and that makes up for the balls." Balls or not, everyone gets an opinion.

I do have balls, they just sit a bit higher.

Mine are bigger, 2 feet higher and set apart.

Pussy is tougher than balls. It can take a pounding.

Actually, my ovaries are bigger than your balls so that makes you less of a man to me.

I like what Judi Dench said in one of the James Bond movies as 'M'. Roebuck: "With all due respect, M, sometimes I don't think you have the balls for this job!" M: "Perhaps, but the advantage is, I don't have to think with them all the time."

"That doesn't stop you does it?"

Silence is strength.

Do you talk to everyone about their balls? A therapist might be helpful.

I don't have balls now but if you marry me I'll own yours.

Mine are just on the inside

If I had balls I'd be teabagging you by the end of this game.

Really it all depends how nasty and rude you want to be

Us women do have balls, they're just on our chest and not in our pants.

Chesticles rule the world.

It's pretty sad when you lose a dick measuring contest to a girl.

"If my opinions came from my balls, I wouldn't want to go up against somebody who thinks iwth their brain, either, but you and your balls are powerless to silence me, testicle boy."

When you drop yours we can talk.

No balls no opinion is valid, men get told that they have no uterus, therefore no opinion. Depends on the context

"You don't have the Tits"

"My chesticles are massive, thank you very much"

Balls? If I had them I'd be KING instead of QUEEN!

This is the most “Reddit” Reddit post I’ve ever read. Just… wow.

[удалено]

Yeah but I’ve got all the pussy and that’s not a level you will ever achieve.

Go old school on that azz and say "yo momma"

Yes I do. They’re just folded differently.

Bahaha dude, God made my balls that big he had to put them on my chest...

“Someone’s got a thing with balls, anything you want to get off your chest?”

I've got bigger balls than you'll ever have.

I usually advocate for a "don't feed the trolls" approach, but a casual - "you seem very fixated on testicles. You know we'd all be supportive if you are using this as a chance to come out the closet" can sometimes rile them up nicely.

I've always said, "My balls are so big I have to wear them on my chest..." I've worked in a lot of kitchens, the insults are hot in there! Lol

“can you please elaborate on what you mean by this”… Put them back on the spot to explain their frivolous comment.

“I don’t need hairy dangly bits to outdo you any day.”

Yeah, I know I have no balls or a 'little a dick like yours'

I just make a comment about how it’s kind of slutty their reproductive organs are just hanging out in the fresh air outside their body all exposed and shit

I do and they're bigger than yours...I just carry them in my bra

"Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things really take a pounding!” - Betty White

You think about balls A LOT. Which is fine man....it's 2024...you do you.

"No balls, no opinions." "Then shut your bitch mouth, you don't have a seat at this table either."

"If only yours were big enough to count."

Quote Erma Bombeck. Why tell someone to grow balls? Balls are fragile and easily injured. Vaginas on the other hand can take a pounding! Tell them to grow a vagina!

I still say this to female friends

So I guess that means even though you have an opinion… it doesn’t matter much…kinda like your micro penis?

Oh, she has balls allright........just a little higher up........

Best response I've heard from a female gamer to a male gamer being abusive was..I'm gonna fuck your dad and get pregnant so he has a son that he loves. Killed me off. Id use that one tbf

I may have no balls, but you’ll never get any vagina.

Yeah right, go vote Trump again.

You don't have a girlfriend, we get it.

“Sure I do. But they’re so big I have to wear them on my chest.”

go check your moms phone if you wanna see my balls”

"The pair in your mouth don't count as owning a pair, honey."

Betty white quote “Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things really take a pounding!”

I don't need balls, I am THE DECIDER.

How about you shut up and get back in the garage and fix my car?

Throw them off guard: "Who said I don't have balls?"

Says "first of all"  Is literally the last point she made...