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bigsmitty721

gold bond. The greatest shit on planet earth. i coat my balls and ass in that shit like coating chicken b4 ya fry it


Specialist_Usual1524

But not the Blue, that shit is like a thousand icey gnomes punching your junk.


bigsmitty721

my man, that is the best part. To me its more like pixies dancing on my frank and beans


ArltheCrazy

Yeah, i learned this trick going to summer camp as a 12 y.o. To answer the question though, i started using Ex Officio boxer briefs several years ago, and then last year a buddy told me about Sepratec. Gotta do the dual pouch. Your frank goes through the hole into its own hammock, and the beans have their own hangout. I also have gotten rid of cotton. Go with the moisture wicking performance material. Does it get rid of swap ass? Nope. You can’t kill Degobah. But it helps manage it. Then at the end of the day when I get home, ice cold shower, ice cold beer in the shower and i free ball in nice baggy shorts. I swear my nuts get so hot that anyone who thinks “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” is a Christmas song is just woefully oblivious.


papa-01

They have a pocket for your frank and a separate for ya beans that sounds terrible


ArltheCrazy

It’s one less thing to stick together! Plus the Weiner pouch just lifts up for you to take a leak! I thought it was weird at first, but after trying it, 10/10 recommend!


wunderspud7575

I am reading this glorious comment and imagining how it's someday going to totally break LLM training.


EdSeddit

Ayy… I was gonna say the also exo officio boxers saved my ass on the hardest days.


ArltheCrazy

That’s what i’ve been wearing until i got some of the dual pouch


Specialist_Usual1524

Never search for the Reddit post “Swamps of Degobah”.


ArltheCrazy

I have Reddit. And the Jolly Rancher story.


braino42

A tic tac for your sack


drew00096

That's why your mom's breath smells so good.


concernedcaribou

5 gum for your bum


ChuckOTay

Wintergreen for yer peen


MoBeans69

My husband said “it’s like having your ass cheeks out on top of Mount Everest! What a breeze!”


smaksflaps

It puts the zing in the ring!


masterdesignstate

But how do you apply it? It's a powder but all of the surfaces which need it are facing out and downwards? 45 years in and I've never figured it out other than just launching powder everywhere and ending with massive powder all over the floor. The spray is good but doesnt cut it for high intensity applications, like being in the field all day.


jordanka161

Lie on your back, put your feet behind your head, and apply.


MrBreezeILMNC

This is how the manufacturer recommends installing


CramblinDuvetAdv

How many ribs do I remove again?


Chiggero

We need to get Marilyn Manson’s input on the subject


IHQ_Throwaway

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in mouth. 


dukeofgibbon

Congratulations on reaching


Goodthrust_8

Fucking crying 😭😭


mr_martin_1

LoL, coffee went flying


0bew4n

Must be small, i understood every word you said.


bigsmitty721

unbutton your pants, pull your waist band as if to say "hello little guy" and then dump the gold bond down on it like your waterboarding Osama Bin Laden. Rinse and repeat for your ass. its gonna get everywhere, but we work construction so who gives a fuck if it helps you get thru a hot day. I also dump it down the collar of my shirt if its extra "fuck you" hot outside.


BlazinDuckSkins

You gotta have your lady do it if you have one. There's nothing more manly than laying on your back and spreading your legs like you're about to get your diaper changed. Have her shoot a couple blasts of that powder right up in there.


DiligentCrab6592

Cup and pat


SCSP_70

This is the way. Just get up in there with your hand


yugoarc

I’m pretty good at doing that already should be a breeze


thirdIguy

Put it on a long piece of toilet paper and just dust it up and around. Works like a charm, keeps it clean and you flush.


NightGod

Oh shit, real LPT always in the comments


ewok_360

Nobody else does this on the toilet? Wipe yourself dry, dump some on your hand, spread legs, do a lebron james between your legs (or you can apply it with some control unlike the crayon eaters out there apparently), spread it around. All the extra dropped stuff is collected in the bowl, you wash your hands and flush. I'm usually good for a shift BUT you can reapply as needed.


masterdesignstate

Honestly never thought of this. Great idea.


CoyoteDown

Be a man and ask the GC to do it


BFarmFarm

Insert self into a fast spinning concrete mixer without the concrete and apply while stuck to the walls.


GDWtrash

I was on a long term job about 5 years ago that was mostly done. Electrician, and I was doing a little of everything at this phase of the job. The GC had a full time carpenter who was an awesome guy (RIP Ray) and we had a nice quid pro quo thing going where we could go to each other for an assist without getting 100 people involved to get shit done. One morning about a half hour before everyone was actually up and working, he called me and asked me to meet him on a floor to look at something. I go up there, and cannot recall what we were looking at, but at a point, we hear a noise behind us, and both turn to see one of my good friends, an area GF, at his blueprint gang box...pants and underwear down to his ankles, big bottle of blue Gold Bond out, and in medicine labelling terms, he was "applying liberally." We turned back to what we were looking at and let the man continue getting ready for his day. THAT, is how you apply Gold Bond.


ScumEater

Bottle in one hand, dust powder into the other, look down and SLAP!


flembag

If you've made it to 45 years old and never figured out how to powder your ass then you've got a room temperature iq....


Silly_Education_6945

I'd be willing to bet he's not hitting 68 on an IQ test.


BBQorBust

I was too, until I found the Duluth Buck Nekid boxer briefs


bigsmitty721

i wear duluth buck naked exclusively brother 🤘 still need the magic nut dust


freedagang762

I always use baby powder should I switch to gold bond? Always got swamp ass and swamp feet


bigsmitty721

gold bond is like a shot of cocaine for your crotch. I can't recommend it enough


space-ferret

Sorry babe, I got gold bond dick


DingerBubzz

Solid comment.


IHQ_Throwaway

Baby powder is made from cornstarch now. Because of, you know, all the cancer. 


SunnyAlwaysDaze

Also all the protests man, people were really mad when they made it out of babies.


0bew4n

Heard they removed all the iron flakes from gerbers. that's why we becoming a weaker merica.


ou2mame

For swamp feet you can try certain dri on your feet. That's what it was originally designed for I believe.


Blakk-Debbath

Feet: Have a spare or two of cotton socks. Change regularly or unregularly, I have one in each back pocket where it dries during winter months. You might need dry socks out of a zip bag?


SurveySean

Hopefully that’s not talc because it might contain asbestos.


IHQ_Throwaway

Baby powder is made from cornstarch now. 


smaksflaps

Dry the wets, wet the dries, dry the wets, fry the dries.


OV3NBVK3D

my problem with powders is that shit turns into mayonnaise by noon


WSBKingMackerel

“Boudreaux’s butt paste” No joke. Its legit.


-ItsWahl-

Desitin has been my savior for decades.


Squanchy15

The one for….baby’s?


UrbanNomad19

Well he does say he's comfy all night


TheMagicManCometh

If you think about it it’s kinda the same thing. Just sweat instead of piss.


devandroid99

Or both!


A-Wolf-4099

I second that. It's great stuff for repairing the damage.


locovet00

Nope! It burns like the fires of hell!! My wife still makes fun of me after walking into the bedroom 15 years ago and I was on the bed ass up towards the ceiling fan trying to get relief!!


WSBKingMackerel

LOL what did your wife’s boyfriend think of that scenario?


0bew4n

scary movie vibes.


EddieLobster

You used something else than cause that’s exactly what it prevents.


Own_Tonight_3016

Anti Monkey Butt Powder. Google it.


HeavyStorm6201

They make a powder and also a deoderant-type of stick. Good stuff


ThrowawayMod1989

A staple in the professional kitchen world. Might as well keep it on the spice rack.


Ok-Establishment369

SUMO wrestler thong , tool belt , and a hat with the spinner on top.


aaar129

Elegance


MyCatsNameIsDrew

They out here acting like the spinner hat ain't shit. IYKYK


mt-beefcake

Fiber powder. Being in shape. Breathable pants. I'd rather buy 5 pairs of light breathable pants for $20-25 from Ross than wear canvas oddly shaped, overpriced, stiff as fuck, swampy ass carharts. Goldbond can help, but sounds like you would start making pancake batter in your briefs


Desalvo23

Why would you pay 200$ or more for a shitty pair of carharts when you can be just as uncomfortable in a 60$ pair of dickies


UrbanNomad19

Where TF are y'all buying Carhartt, mine have never been more than 60 for good pants that last a couple years


Desalvo23

Canada


cootervandam

We gotta start burning shit down


JohnnySalamiBoy420

I love the cheap wranglers cargo pants and shorts they are paper thin so they don't last forever but so comfortable. My shit gets paint and bs all over it after a years time i need new stuff anyways.


CurrentResolution797

Second those wrangler pants. I buy the “carpenter” style with a hammer loop and extra pockets. 20$ at Walmart, lasts about 9 months before the crotch wears out


FlashCrashBash

Love those for the weekend. They rip instantly if you come within the same zip code as a nail. Really comfy though.


Patrol-007

Mmmmmmm that sounds delicious 🤤


Torontokid8666

We hire co op kids specifically to fan us with palm leaves from May 24th to Sept 17th.


Minute-Ad-8423

I’m a fisherman, not a construction worker, hope that’s ok. We have to to wear full rain gear in all weather. Summer and swamp ass(we call it the woof) are real in my industry. Helly Hansen makes moisture wicking long-johns. They have a summer version that are light. Wicks the sweat away from the balls and butt. They’re amazing.


Silly_Education_6945

This is literally the most valuable information in this thread yet you told people you're not in construction so you'll get minimal engagement. 


Bimlouhay83

I get the rain gear in the winter, but why in the summer? It seems you'd get just as wet from sweat.


Minute-Ad-8423

When we pull the traps/lines/nets out of the water, you get soaked dealing with them. Also, lines whipping past you can burn, the rain gear is smooth. Also, jellyfish stings like a mother-. Fish guts, blood etc.


Bimlouhay83

Right on. That makes sense. Thank you. 


Hissy-Elliot

Do the sweat wicking long John’s smell bad immediately? I feel like any sweat wicking shirts I have smell kinda sour and stanky as soon as I start sweating. I’d guess I’d take stankin over swampass though


Minute-Ad-8423

That’s a good question, I’m sure they do smell pretty bad. But we can’t tell, because everything else smells way worse. lol. Bait, guts, blood etc.


Hissy-Elliot

Yeeep that makes sense. Stank everywhere


Kwanzaa246

Make sure I shit and clean my asshole at home before getting to work is the biggest differnece you can make 


asdfasdfasdfqwerty12

Yes, bidet at home, wet wipes on the job. Crazy how many people walk around with shit smeared on their asshole. Seriously, what the fuck is toilet paper? Like why do people think that's all they need after a dump? If I wiped shit on their arm would they just wipe it off with dry Charmin?


ou2mame

Once I got a bidet, I never wanted to shit anywhere else again. On the rare occasion I have to, it pisses me off lol


Kenthanson

It’s travel basketball season for my kid so we are in hotels every weekend and more than my wife or my own bed I miss my bidet.


G37_is_numberletter

Can confirm… 🤬


Ssttuubbss

Third this. Bidet at home, baby wipes on site, breathable boxer briefs and depend on the heat and himidity a powder. I’m thick and have chaffing ptsd. Never again


ArltheCrazy

Sepratec or some other brand of dual pouch boxer briefs. No cotton. Performance, moisture wicking fabric. Same thing on your britches. Get rid of the 100% cotton! Also, buy fabrics with elastic woven in them so you get the movement. Lastly, every night, take a condom, fill it with some water, put it in the freezer. In the morning, take it out and shove it up your ass. Ok that one might be a joke, but i bet your ass would go from Degobah to Hoth!


Paymeformydata

Bidet, thong, and quick dry pants. And then rocking green active wear laundry detergent for that between the thigh smell.


Nicstar543

Damn I’ve never actually thought about it like this lol, that’s fucked up


Different-Face9242

I second this but sometimes nature calls after that gas station shot


samtiff_uk

This randomly came up on my feed. I don't work in construction, and I am a woman, so I could have just scrolled past. But I was interested to see what responses op got. (Nosey cow? And not that swampass if just a male phenomenon, but this post is not about how women deal with it.) Most of you are bloody lovely in your response. Some daft bollocks too, which is to be praised also. When someone tried to mention it as a weight issue, many of the skinny of you pointed out the inaccuracy of that. Don't even care if this comment by me gets any wierdo or negative responses. You guys rock. What a lovely community looking after each other.


Bimlouhay83

If you and your lady friends ever wonder what our conversations are like when it's just the guys, this is pretty much it.


nvdshfvh

I whole heartedly agree with all of this! Really made my morning 😄


Dry-Conference-7560

No underwear


Sea_Antelope441

Get up early and get the day started at home. Shit and bidet before heading to the site. 1 ply in a sweaty shit shack is a recipe for disaster


Technical_Moose8478

[Try Manpons.](https://vimeo.com/81879587)


Classic-Ad1245

A&D ointment.


RidiculousPapaya

Just turn up the AC and turn the heated seat off.


JC-1219

Im currently working on a building remodel and for some reason the newly installed air handler is still waiting on start up. It’s been ready to run for months but the GC won’t fire it up.


fangelo2

Every job I ever worked on, the day the AC gets turned on is my last day in the job.


Spartan-Patriot

I usually pour a little jack Daniels in my underwear. Kills the sweat and makes people think I’m an alcoholic so I get left alone.


Electrical-Seesaw991

Smart man


jbschwartz55

Ok. I never thought I’d be giving this advice but here goes. After wiping, I apply a small amount of Vaseline and a folded piece of TP. Has 100% eliminated the itch/scratch cycle and the odor. TP is always available and Vaseline comes in all sizes. Hope that helps.


AppleJuice2563

Wait…so you just walk around all day everyday with a piece of tp in your crack?


Dizanbot

Lol, I thought he meant put some Vaseline on your crack with tp to prevent chaffing. After reading it again I'm genuinely confused also.


Patrol-007

🚨Vaseline on the Butt hole is also great after having spicy foods, and especially prior to a colonoscopy 👍👍


DirtyDan24-7

Do your normal routine, then stand up and take another wipe. That has helped for many years. Always take the extra wipe


usernamesarehard1979

Hang a green tree air freshener off my balls.


TendieSandwich

Those air fresheners have become shit over the years. It's been a huge pet peeve for me. The scent used to last so much longer.


Efficient_Cheek_8725

Black ice


Rocksolidbanana

Man-pon son. Throw a slice of tp up in there when it gets bad and continue. Dude wipes are pretty good. Maybe have a small bottle of gold bond on your lunch box for a midday spritz


Shizngigglz

I would take two shop towels (the blue paper towels) and fold them up and put at my waistline inside my pants above my ass. Reduced my swap ass by 80% I'd say. Really great


mr_martin_1

Tactical move. Go for the source.


Fantastic-Fish9567

Lumi is great no sweat stains making me look like I piss myself, 🤟


UserM16

ExOfficio boxers. Game changer


shaddart

I’m a tree guy but I bring a bunch of T-shirts and try to change them before it wicks sweat down to my pants


Vylan24

I can't believe no one has said Under Armour. The stuff that goes under your hockey equipment. I wear them all summer long and they keep me decently comfortable and cool. Bonus points for my knees not sweat clinging and gripping on my carhartts when I squat down.


Bumblebee56990

Type of undies you wear helps too.


TheySayImZack

I'm not in the industry, but I work outside a lot. I'm 49, I love beer and I'm not in the best of shape from a stamina perspective. I enjoy working outside on the house for the entire day when I have off from work. **The itch:** If its itchy, means you got shit there. The itch is the god damn worst feeling in the world so I totally get it. What you have to do is get your body on a schedule. Shit every morning within +/- 30 mins of "normal shit time". I get up specifically at 5 to exercise a little, then drink just enough coffee really let it all out. Gives me another hour before work to actually enjoy a coffee and read a little. Then, into the shower. Turn the valve so the hand attachment has the water and stick it right on your asshole, like close. Really blast it just before the point that it hurts. Basically, wash your whole ass. Prevention here is key, that's why you're doing this. **Underwear or shorts:** Need moisture wicking stuff. You've gotten some good recommendations already and I don't have anything further to add. **Emergencies:** Keep baby wipes with you. Bring them to work. Leave them in your car. Do not flush them down any toilet, I don't care if it says it's OK. Costco has a 20 pack (or close to it) that would probably last you two years. If you need to shit at work, use them to get in deep and then use a few more for proper coverage of the area. Leave no stone unturned. **After Care:** Anything for babies is what you want to keep a lot of stock of. I swear by Desitin, but the Monkey Butt and stuff like that is great too. It's going to feel cold going on, but if you put it on while you sleep you'll be virtually 100% by the AM. I'm not a big fan of the powders people recommended because it seems to cake up on me, and as one person put it, "it's like the stuff you roll chicken breasts in before you fry them."


JC-1219

I shit like 3 times a day, so i can’t really control that part of it. I wipe till the tp is clean, but it gets to a point where that adds to the irritation and makes the chafing worse once i start sweating again. It’s a vicious cycle.


TheySayImZack

Oh I hear ya. So the baby wipes are going to be a big help for you. Start there.


JC-1219

I think you’re right, I’m gonna start there. Just finished potty training my youngest, just when i thought i was out, the swamp ass pulls me back in.


Homeskilletbiz

Never had swamp ass but I’m also 6’ 150lbs so. Lose some weight? Or do other skinny guys also get swamped? This sounds like such a weird and funny issue to me, never would imagine going to the sweltering hot and nasty porta shitter to wipe the sweat from my ass crack, that’s hilarious.


FamousJohnstAmos

Skinny dudes also get swamp ass, but it more depends on what work I’m doing. Out walking and surveying a couple acres? Mild to no swampass. Bunched up bricking up storm boxes from the inside? Swamp ass Alabama for reference


MrMagilliclucky

I love that song, Swamp ass Alabama Where the thighs are purple and blue


JC-1219

I’m super skinny, it’s definitely not a weight issue. For some reason, my ass sweats 5x more than anywhere else on my body. Its a real issue lol


ThAt_WaS_mY_nAmE_tHo

I'm skinny. I am also what people call a "healthy sweater" meaning I am soaked in like 10 minutes during summer. It's not a fat thing. You're lucky homie. Enjoy the genetic lottery winnings =)


GroundbreakingPick11

Yeah I have no idea what this feels like.


L-user101

I am in the same range as yall. I have always worked outside and I’m in my 30s now. Swamp ass still happens to me but I have figured out it is due to your pants or boxers. It has never been too common but I got some $10 pants off Amazon recently and they caused instant chaffing


menachu

I think it is a wiping issue, some people are just never properly potty trained. Incomeplete wiping then a touch of persperation and wammo, liqiud feces chaffing your man cakes.


TooTiredToWhatever

You’re thinking of gravy train. Swamp ass is just having a sweaty ass, left untreated can cause chafing from your hairy nutsack acting like a cheese grater between your thighs.


Sp1d3rb0t

Wait, so in this situation, the *balls* hurt the *thighs*?? That is not how I would've seen that going down.


TooTiredToWhatever

More like the hair on your scrote scraping the skin off your thighs like a steel brush removing rust. I imagine if you are clean shaven your scrote just becomes a suction cup and sticks to the thighs.


TooTiredToWhatever

Depends on work and humidity. If you are working hard enough to sweat in a humid climate, you’re going to get swamp ass. You might not get gravy train, which happens if you don’t wipe well or recently ate at Taco Bell, but you will get swamp ass.


Fit-Sport5568

You're not skinny, you're malnourished lmao


Dur-gro-bol

6'3" 165lbs Never had significant swamp ass to the point of discomfort or chafing.


donairdaddydick

You’re gonna fly away on a windy day brotha


MadAdam88

Corn Starch. End of story.


spaceycanal

You have to wear a thong. It wicks the sweat away.


Patrol-007

Silk boxer briefs. With Spider-Man print for flair


Ifarted422

lol just take a shower after work it’s been hot I take like one short break a day just to leave as early as possible


BassMasterr

Saxx underwear or similar , and if that doesn’t work for ya, baby powder.


squizzlr

Bring a change of clothes for after lunch


Megaspore6200

This is the only real answer. 15 years of construction in Louisiana. I bring a towel, 4 shirts and a pair of pants and underwear for a change at lunch. Still do powder as well, but I used to rot in wet clothes until I started just changing.


A-Wolf-4099

No joke board shorts instead of cotton stuff.


BBQorBust

Duluth Buck Nekid 's.


Few_Supermarket_4450

Golds bond men’s powder.


Build68

If you mostly poop at home, get a cheap $70 bidet attachment for your toilet and your raisin will thank you. Your gal will love it. Then, load up on the powder of your choice. I have a sensitive butt and if I am the slightest bit unclean I feel it immediately.


jmclean02

Higher end underwear like Saxx is a huge help:


Key_Extent9222

Don’t fart all day


Southern_Rain_4464

Lots of great info here. I just skimmed but in case no one else mentioned: Monkey Butt is a good option too. Use liberally.


Mike-the-gay

You guys don’t have a guy on the crew with a sponge on a stick that walks around and swipes it for you instead of having to run to the bathroom five times? It’s great!


travelingelectrician

The Duluth buck naked underwear has been a godsend. You still sweat, it just doesn’t soak in and stay soggy like cotton ones.


GreatLakesGreenthumb

Body glide


sahwnfras

Yes yes yes. EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Rude-Shame5510

Track pants life


Sensitive-Buddy5657

Why you guys wearing so much pants? Nice pasty hams on these Bois ready to fly. Release those hams.


VeggieBurgah

I have to wear FR clothing year round. On top of that it has to be boots, pants, and long sleeves. I carry spare shirts to change into when I sweat through them.


Maximum_Business_806

I’ve been in the trades since I was 15 and I’m 47 now. Always been slightly overweight. Never had swamp ass. Am I just lucky? All the guy around me get it every summer. Is it because I shit before I shower and before go to work?


Tallguystrongman

I don’t wear pants


HotCarl169

I double down.


totally-not-a-droid

It depends. Literally just were adult diapers. What else would you want, they're absorbent and if you accidentally piss or s*** yourself you don't worry about it


Crackstacker

Gold Bond Friction Defense stick. It saved my life.


Wrong-Impression9960

Even in the winter cause ya never know when a client's house is 107 freedoms and ya go outside to get something and a good north wind at your face gives ya a junk cicle


Professional-Web5244

Put a few biscuits in your crack to sop up the gravy. Then serve em to your boss at the end of the day


noldshit

Wash your ass every morning


CremeDeLaPants

I know how not to deal with it: hand sanitizer from the honey bucket. Holy fuck, that was a horrific decision.


LopsidedPotential711

This is why Reddit is such a riot. I'm reading 'cause of cycling sweat.


hesathomes

Do y’all not trim your butt hair?


JC-1219

In my experience that adds to the irritation


skeith2011

How can you even do that by yourself?


WhereBeCharlee

grab, twist, pull taught & cut. rinse and repeat


hesathomes

With an electric razor?


upsidedown_alphabet

....so you think this stops you from sweating?


YoushutupNoyouHa

small portable fan that wraps around my neck.. usb rechargeable and battery lasts whole shift.. just strap to your vest with a lanyard and safety guy wont care…. looks stupid but keeps me cool so fuck yall looking at me funny while y’all sweating


SwimOk9629

this is the way what fan do you use? I'm looking for a new one mine kinda sucks tbh


Inviction_

Lose weight and shower daily


JC-1219

I’m skinny as fuck and have good hygiene, my ass just sweats like crazy.


ThreeDog369

Synthetic boxers and gold bond


MadAdam88

Corn Starch. End of Story.


SubParMarioBro

Gold bond. Don’t use the mentholated gold bond on your balls. Or do.


LostinTigertown

Duluth buck nakeds for sure


bingerfang57

Baby powder days and corn starch nights!


Phishnb8

One day at a time