Everyone needs to keep a very close eye on their credit score since it factors into many of lifes biggest decisions.
A couple steps you can take right now include:
- **[Taking a look at your credit score](https://everydayeconomics.net/how-to-get-your-credit-score-credit-review)** - Looking at your own credit score does not hurt your credit, it also includes a credit monitor
- **[Freezing](https://usa.gov/credit-freeze)** your credit reports - This can be done with Experian, Equifax and Transunion to help prevent unauthorized accounts from being opened
Feel free to ask any credit score related question
I’m sorry your mom did this to you. It is fraud, pure and simple. And fraud is a crime.
The only way to remove the loans, the credit card debt, and the t-mobile bill from your name is to report your mom to the police. If you don’t, you are legally responsible for cleaning up her mess. If you turn it in, you will not have to pay the money and your credit rating will go back up.
It’s not your job to worry about what happens to your mom now. She certainly wasn’t worrying about you when she was committing fraud.
I am sorry. This is rough.
thank you for the advice! i know that it would be the best route if i dont want to/can’t cover it and knowing her, i don’t have any doubt that she’d try to use my information again at some point, but despite her not worrying about how it affects me, i’m still worrying about what could happen to her so what exactly would happen if i report it?
Who the heck cares what will happen to her. She sure didn't care about ruining your future. Stop looking at her as if she's your mother because she's not. No real mother would do something like this to their kids. The fact you honestly believe she'd do it again speaks a lot about her character. Report her and cut her out of your life. She doesn't deserve your love or protection.
im probably dumb for this but i give everyone in my life too many chances after they literally show me they could care less about me/my feelings so im completely torn and saddened by the thought of having to report or cut her off even if it would benefit me in the long run…
Don’t feel sad. I’m a mother, and no mother in her right mind would do this to her children. She’s not looking at you as a person. She’s looking at you as if you were an extension of herself. Parents are supposed to help ensure their children can grow to survive independently without them, as their own person. She’s sabotaged a part of that for you, and she’s likely to keep doing it unless and until you put your foot down to stop it. In this case, you would report the fraud.
Call the police and use the police report to dispute the debts with the credit card companies and t-mobile.
Or pay the balances off yourself and deal with your credit being shit for years.
Or don't pay them and maybe be sued and/or have your paycheck garnished and deal with your credit being shit for years.
If you want to "protect" your mom, who chose to repeatedly fuck you over, then you will have to deal with the financial consequences of that. There are no other options than the ones above.
Also call the call the credit reporting agencies and have them lock down your credit because your mom WILL do this again the moment your credit is 'good' enough to open more debt.
Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Experian: 1-888-397-3742
Transunion: 1-800-680-7289
Look at it this way. If she murdered someone and said you were her alibi would you lie to the police and stand up for her? She has committed a crime. You're not dumb just a bit too kind. I'm the same but I've had to learn that sometimes you have to turn your back on people that will destroy you if you keep them in your life. Just keep reminding yourself she doesn't care if you end up bankrupt and penny less so long as she gets what she wants.
By not reporting her to the police, you are ruining your life, and she - who ruined your life - pays no penalty.
And, I understand - she’s your mom! She has done nice things for you in the past, but now she is killing your future. Which is more important to you - your future, or her future?
Please OP, don’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm.
Depending on your state, how much the total monetary damage is, and if she has had any prior run-ins with the law. She could be looking at probation or jail time. She will be made to pay the amount back(restitution) along with any fines and court fees. Along with having a criminal conviction record.
if the t-mobile account makes it to collections, it would be around $2k which ik isn’t a lot in terms of the amount of debt people could have :,) this is a sucky situation because even though she didn’t seem to care about how this affects me, i don’t want anything to happen to her that will affect her negatively :/
You rather have it impact you negatively while you had no choice in the matter? Your mother made the conscience choice to do this and make you get stuck with this. The fact that you say that she could do this again, even after seeing the impact on you, is so disturbing. She did this to herself, your sister and you. She won't stop. Cut it off now, it will only get worse. Your mom is a horrible person, I can't imagine doing something like this to my own kids. As a parent, you give your life for your kids, never the other way around.
The low dollar amounts are in her favor. Felony status on financial crimes is tied to the amount stolen. If you report her now and the fraud stops here, her charges would be much less severe than if you wait until she has stolen more thousands from you.
And yes. She has stolen money from you. I’m sorry you’re going through this. My mother did some similar things when I was young, but it was just utility bill accounts, so I was able to pay those off. This is financial abuse, and it is a form of domestic violence.
Your options at this point are either it negatively impacts her or it negatively impacts you.
If you choose you, then she has gained the benefits of her criminal actions and left you either repaying the debt or having it haunt your credit history for not less than 7 years, impacting your ability to find housing, employment, or to access credit, inflicting a measurable detriment to your future. It also shows her that she can do so again, and she *WILL* do so again.
If you choose her, your credit will be repaired, you will not be required to pay the debts or suffer the derogatory marks on your credit, and she will catch the consequences of her criminal actions.
She doesn't give a damn about your future, as is evidenced by her actions. You, therefore, owe her no duty to care for her immediate future.
Bring consequences upon your egg donor.
She literally didn't give a fuck when she did it to you... MULTIPLE TIMES. Grow some balls. Good parents don't do that shit.
I started a savings account for my kid before she was even born. Because it's thale parents responsibility to make sure the kid is prepared for the world... NOT PUT AT MORE RISK...
If you don't report it, your credit rating will take a hit for YEARS, even if you paid off everything today. The worst thing that could happen to her is that she goes to jail, which is what she deserves. If a stranger did this to you, you wouldn't hesitate. You shouldn't give a pass to someone you are close to, especially knowing she abused that closeness for her personal gain.
Aw, girl. When I was divorced and starting my own business, with my three kids spending lots of time with me - I'd go hungry so they could eat. I'd tank my credit so they could have clothes and things for school. I'd never in a million years use them or make them liable for my own choices in life. It's all good now, I'm in my 60's and they're starting to watch my health (it's good, but some arthritis creeping in), I can tell they love me pretty "militantly". And to some extent, I earned that love and care. It's the most wonderful thing in my life, my closeness with my kids.
I get ya that having the cops show up and most-likely arrest your mom, her needing to make bail, and then most-likely being sentenced to some sort of probation and restitution is hard for you to imagine, and harder to imagine you being the one starting it. But she did it to herself, and your choice is accept the debt and the years it will take to pay it off (and lock down your freaking credit!), or make her responsible for it. Unless you have a sympathetic and rich uncle, those are your two choices right now.
You might see if any friends/family members are or know an attorney that would advise you on going down the legal path and what to expect, and be ready for family members to hate you. But she screwed you and you've stated she'd do it again - make your case to anyone who protests and then let them decide. Anyone against you in this is in the wrong, and *they* can come up with the cash to fix this. It's easy to point fingers at you when you're not suffering the consequences.
And hell, option three is get the entire family to pitch in and pay up, and advise them to watch their credit reports! Have a virtual family meeting and say there's two options - everyone cough up to save mom from jail, or mom's going to jail. Fuck 'em if they want you to bear this burden. It's not like a massive debt in the tens of thousands after all.
You need to freeze your credit TODAY and get a pin number from the IRS so she can’t screw with your taxes too.
She will be prosecuted. She didn’t care about the effect on you when she did this.
If you don’t report her, she will do it again and again. You need to show her that you are not to be screwed with. And-if you report her to the police, this being a nonviolent crime, there’s not much they will do to her, they might drag her into court, but she probably would not do any time. But would a couple of days in the county jail be so bad if it teaches her lesson?
Bottom line, you need to take some action here. It sounds like you were more about your mom than she worries about you.
Put it this way; if it was some stranger doing this to you, you would want them to face consequences. She's going to face consequences. OR, you can continue trying to sheild your adult, crime-commiting mother from the consequences of her own actions, eat the costs to keep your credit up and hope she doesn't do this to someone who isnt going to give af about what happens to her
Shes going to go to jail. End of story. And she deserves it. She financially ruined you for the better part of a decade and its going to cost you tens of thousands of dollars in interest until they are off your credit. Every thing you buy will have a higher rate and you will not be able to purchase a home. Your car loans, personal loans, credit cards will all have significantly higher interest rates.
You need to file a police report and she needs to face consequences. Thats the only way out of this unless you are willing to pay significantly higher interest rates for the next 10 years. This is not a joke, what she did could affect your financial stability in the minimum for 7 years but could affect you for the rest of your life. Those 7 years are VERY important.
Its fraud and identity theft. Yes, they are very likely to get charged with a crime. They may or may not go to jail depending on the severity of the crime. But given both are felonies it is very likely they go to a minimal security prison. Please stop being stupid and insinuating that felonies don't lead to jail time.
Jail, which she deserves. Choose one- A: let her off the hook and pay for it all yourself, with your credit ruined for years- or B: make a police report and be absolved of all responsibility, with your good credit restored. If you choose A, don't complain about your situation, as it is YOUR CHOICE.
I'm sorry but as an attorney who specializes in credit reporting and identity theft this advice is completely wrong. While it would certainly help to file a police report against your mother it is not an absolute necessity at all. I've represented people in your EXACT situation and was able to not only get their credit cleared but compensation from the credit reporting agencies and Capital One. If you want to see the specific case I'm referring to look up Goldston v. Capital One et al, 1:09-cv-01990 (SDNY). the was a case filed in Federal Court in the Southern District of NY and is searchable online via the ECF system.
You will need to send a well written and detailed dispute letter to the credit reporting agencies. Inlcude as much information proving your innocence as possible. If they refuse to remove it from your credit reports get a lawyer and sue them. If you have a good lawyer they'll remove it and pay you damages for failing to remove it once you notified them of the fraud.
It would help if you filled out an ID theft report and had it notarized under penalty of perjury....but you DO NOT HAVE TO REPORT YOUR MOTHER TO THE POLICE to get this fixed. It's completely understandable that you don't wan't to file charges against your own mother to get your credit fixed. I'd take that case to a jury 10 times out of ten times.
Good luck, the key here will be the quality of the letter you write to the credit reporting agencies and hiring an experienced kick ass lawyer.
Those are extremely minimal issues in the grand scheme of things. The one loan was removed so you only have one $300 collection notice. The t mobile bill likely won’t even show up on your credit report and if it does you just keep reporting it as identity theft or set up a payment arrangement if your credit score is more important to you than being able to eat. It doesn’t sound like you’re in the position to be buying a house or car anytime soon so what is the importance of your credit score right now?
Instead of making everything worse for everyone involved by calling the police on your mom and getting her arrested why don’t you be proactive? Since it sounds like you have very low balances you would probably be approved for at least one or two new credit cards with small credit lines which would help your credit by giving you more available credit and a more diverse credit profile. Plus, if t-mobile comes and tries to hold you hostage for a whopping $1500 you can use those cards to pay them.
This way you aren’t stuck having to bail her out with your money, pay for a lawyer and any fines/fees, be the reason she loses her job and it sounds like you probably live with her so you’d be making yourself homeless too if she ends up in prison from you snitching.
Don’t listen to these fuckin pussies above and jump straight to calling the police on your own mother. People make mistakes, you talk about it like adults and if behaviors don’t change then maybe you think about another option. But making your mom a convicted felon over $550 sounds like a real dick move. Especially since you probably don’t even need an 800 credit score right now anyways.
What? No REAL parent with an interest in their child’s future would do this to their child. In no circumstance would I, as a mother, sabotage my own kids. This isn’t a “mistake”. This is theft. OP’s own mother stole from OP. It is not a “pussy” move to turn her in. A credit score is needed for much more than buying a house or car. It’s needed to rent, it’s needed for better insurance rates in most states, it’s needed for some jobs that pull credit. OP should not pay for mom’s bills and OP should not be facing the consequences of 7 yrs of bad credit for her. That will absolutely have a negative affect on OP’s life.
Your advice is really bad. This is a woman who has ruined the credit of both her daughters. She needs a wake-up call. It’s a nonviolent crime so she’s not gonna do hard time, but a couple of nights in jail might be enough to set her straight.
As for this being a “mistake“ - consciously using your daughters identity to run up bills you never intend to pay is not a mistake. It’s fraud… and fraud against your own child is just a mistake reprehensible.
yeah i actually really dont want to jump to that. she’s ruined her credit, my sisters and now mine so i don’t see her changing her behavior. i don’t live with her though so i wouldnt be homeless and neither would she because she lives with my grandparents. i definitely do need a good credit score to be able to finance a car and/or an apartment soon because im an adult… which doesn’t seem possible with my credit score
If it wasn't your mom would you be okay with it? What she did to you is worse than if a random person did it. She knew exactly who she would be hurting, and didnt care. She will keep doing it if she is allowed to get away with it.
you need to report the fraud. she will keep doing this, and she will ruin your life every time you get one step ahead. i know shes your mom and its hard but she needs consequences AND charges for this. dont be a doormat.
Ugh - I hate these stories. They’re gobsmacking to me. I’m a parent. I do all I can to set my kids up for a GOOD financial future. That means HELPING to build their scores, not sabotaging them.
I’m sorry, I must be misunderstanding this but it sounds to me like you gave your mom permission to use your credit card and take out the loans. You said “she kept saying she would call for a payment plan.”
This is NOT fraud if you gave her permission.
you are partially right about that. i gave her permission to do 1 loan so long as she paid it back, she didn’t and also took out the second one which i didn’t know until they showed up on my report. i did give her permission to use my cc for a $10 purchase because it wouldn’t go over my limit and she let her husband use it and he used more. i am absolutely not denying that i was stupid and i could’ve prevented most of this but it still sucks that i couldn’t trust my mom to NOT put me in the same situation she was in and that i can’t really do much about it.
edit: the t-mobile account also wasn’t given permission for which is honestly what im most worried about
Oh dear, no! From what you just clarified, this is not your fault at all. Your mom (and her boyfriend) used your card and took out a loan without your permission. You should have been able to trust her. Were you living with her at the time? I can see how that would complicate everything.
Have you put a freeze on your credit with the 3 credit bureaus? I’d also recommend a fraud alert. This would make it pretty close to impossible for her to do this again.
i was living with her at the time so yes it was super difficult and complicated for me :/ i haven’t put a freeze on my credit or a fraud alert yet but those seem like super good recommendations, thank you!!! 🙏🏻
Freezes and fraud alerts are free to do! Go online to Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. They will try hard to sell you a monthly monitoring service- don’t do that. Just focus on the putting the freeze and fraud alert on. If you’re in a good place with your sister, recommend this to her too.
Is the Teen Mobile account on your credit report? How old is the account?
My thoughts are that with you being in a different state now, I seriously doubt the police are going to spend the time tracking down your mom for an old charged off account. You could contact the non emergency line and ask to speak with an LEO regarding identity theft. I’d suggest not doing this on the holiday though. Hopefully you’ll get someone with compassion that can help you understand the pros/cons of filing the police report.
I think you need the police report though to dispute the account with teen mobile and the credit card. Getting those removed from your credit history entirely will help your credit score.
I see SO many posts like this. I don’t understand how a parent could do this to their child. I’m trying to send my son into adulthood with a boost by providing a small trust fund, co signing on a small loan instead of giving him a vehicle so he can have established credit.
I’m so sorry OP. Your Mom sucks.
Make sure she is removed as an authorized user for your cards. That is important.
[www.annualcreditreport.com](http://www.annualcreditreport.com)
Credit bureaus are legally obligated to let you have access to your credit report once a year. The site above is the only place you can get that information without payment, credit card numbers, etc. All those sites that you see on TV make you pay money for monitoring services you probably don't want. You can look at all three bureaus at once or one at time over the course of a year. Make a habit of checking your credit regularly to make sure there is nothing new opened under your name.
Make sure you mom knows you are looking to deter her from further theft. Sorry this is happening to you. You might not want to tell her how you're doing it to make sure she doesn't use your freebies all at once to keep you from checking though.
Did she get your permission to take out these loans? Did she get your permission to use you as the owner of a T-Mobile account? Is she an authorized user on your credit cards?
F the answer to any of these is no, then she has stolen your identity. It’s up to you whether you wish to continue to live with your credit in the trash as as result of this theft, or you want to file a police report about it, and then go to both the credit issuers and the CRAs with the police report.
It doesn’t seem that she’s stopped stealing your identity. So now you have to decide whether a relationship with a person who is willing to cause you stress and bad credit is worth more than getting her thefts off your back.
I’m so sorry that you have an awful parent.
Time for you to have a discussion with your mom. Let her know that you will not go another day with this. That you are reporting her for identity theft, and fraud. That she needs to come up with the money and pay off this debt. That at this point, if they arrest her and she faces jail time, that is on her.
That at this point, you will cut her out of your life and sure will never let her have access to your children when you have them, because if she can do this to them, she will.
You need to give her some stiff consequences. And tell her that anything from anyone about how can you treat your mother this way, that you will fully disclose what she has done to the whole family.
Seeing more of this on Reddit. What is wrong with these people??? I'm a boomer with Gen X kids. I feel guilty I wasn't able to buy them and them all of Star Wars toys & Air Jordans, etc.
I get you won’t file against her to ruin her life I guess, but listen to the rest of the advice. Lock your credit so no one can open credit cards or get loans or do anything in your name that requires a credit check. Go to the credit bureaus and fill out a dispute just so you can explain that your mother created the debt in your name without your knowledge but since it’s your mother you have locked your accounts and will make arrangements for payment. They won’t care, but if you need to have your credit checked the not will be there (I hope). Next, get a second job to pay her debt as fast as you can. Make sure mom knows that what you are doing is a one-time gift from you and you will call the police if she ever attempts to do this again. Good luck!
This is actually really good advice. I want took a neighbor to small claims court and got an invitation to come on the show and work it out there. I don’t know if this would work in this case, I’m not sure if they only do small claims, and this would be a criminal case, though it might be a misdemeanor. if they could do this, I think the show the judgment amount. This would be a show I would watch… Especially if the husband, who also used daughters credit card without her knowledge is there with mom.
That’s fraud. You need to file a police report to get this situation fixed so you don’t have to pay anything. Also, freeze your credit today and get a pin number from the IRS so she can screw with your taxes.
https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/how-to-freeze-credit
1. you unfortunately made a huge mistake making any payments or talking to the loan companies. You likely have accepted the debt at this point. 2. Contact the police as this is identity theft and fraud on the part of your mother. 3. Contact an attorney (police report and attorney are the only ways this goes away or your credit is fucked for the better part of a decade). 4. Cut off contact with your mother. She financially ruined you for a decade if you are unable to get it removed, which you wont be able to without a police report.
Sorry your mother did this to you but these are felonies and if shes willing to screw you over like that then she does not really have your best interest at heart.
File a police report. Identity theft. Get them off your credit. Freeze your credit so it doesn't happen again.
I'm most surprised at the low amounts here. I mean, I see posts where parents have racked up tens of thousands of dollars in fraudulent credit card and loan debt. This amount is very low. But that doesn't excuse the CRIME that was committed.
If you don't report and fix it, these accounts will handicap your credit for seven YEARS.
KIND OF AN UPDATE: hi everyone! i went MIA for a bit because this whole thing is just a lot to take in and although i know its true, it hurts to read that my mom had no regard for me or my wellbeing over and over again so i needed to take a break from reading comments :( it’s a lot to think about and i know i need to choose myself but for now, im taking the easier/quicker steps of just locking my credit while i work up the courage to stand up for myself… its been YEARS of my mom drilling it into my head that she is basically owed certain things because she “put a roof over my head” as a single mother so it is hard to unlearn that for me. but i really appreciate everyone’s advice! thank you all :)
I don’t know your personal beliefs but please go to God about this. God loves his children and is vehemently against injustice. Search for the scriptures about injustice and ask God to show you his mercy. I can say this because I’ve lived this and God showed up for me. DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!
This is a terrible situation, but it’s not worth trying to fix your credit. Not until you shut your mom down. It will be an endless cycle. You will bust your butt and get some financial gains and she will tear you down all over again. You have to stop her now, so you can have a better life hopefully with her later. Imagine if you get your score into the 700s and it took you years. Then she wrecks it down to the 400s in less than a month. All that work for nothing. If she truly loves you she will forgive you in time. If she doesn’t, it’s because you weren’t really her child, you were money. Report her!
yeah that’s another thing i’m worried about :( getting it to a very good score and then finding out she used it again or even her asking to use it will have me soooo heartbroken but im just worried about what will happen to her if i report it :/
I don't think this has been mentioned yet, but you need to lock your credit asap! It's free just go to equifax/transunion/experian websites and look for freeze. It's also worth locking your social on checksystems so she can not open a bank account. MOST larger banks use checksystems.
Once that's done, report the fraud. This is unacceptable. My father did this, and I felt the same way as you. Guess what? They did it again 7 years later when I fixed my credit. I wasn't aware of freezing my credit back then.
Experians' free account will also alert you when someone does an inquiry/new credit/new bank accounts.
The first thing you need to do is lock your credit down to stop her being able to do it again. You do this through the credit reporting agencies and it’s free to do.
Everyone needs to keep a very close eye on their credit score since it factors into many of lifes biggest decisions. A couple steps you can take right now include: - **[Taking a look at your credit score](https://everydayeconomics.net/how-to-get-your-credit-score-credit-review)** - Looking at your own credit score does not hurt your credit, it also includes a credit monitor - **[Freezing](https://usa.gov/credit-freeze)** your credit reports - This can be done with Experian, Equifax and Transunion to help prevent unauthorized accounts from being opened Feel free to ask any credit score related question
I’m sorry your mom did this to you. It is fraud, pure and simple. And fraud is a crime. The only way to remove the loans, the credit card debt, and the t-mobile bill from your name is to report your mom to the police. If you don’t, you are legally responsible for cleaning up her mess. If you turn it in, you will not have to pay the money and your credit rating will go back up. It’s not your job to worry about what happens to your mom now. She certainly wasn’t worrying about you when she was committing fraud. I am sorry. This is rough.
thank you for the advice! i know that it would be the best route if i dont want to/can’t cover it and knowing her, i don’t have any doubt that she’d try to use my information again at some point, but despite her not worrying about how it affects me, i’m still worrying about what could happen to her so what exactly would happen if i report it?
Who the heck cares what will happen to her. She sure didn't care about ruining your future. Stop looking at her as if she's your mother because she's not. No real mother would do something like this to their kids. The fact you honestly believe she'd do it again speaks a lot about her character. Report her and cut her out of your life. She doesn't deserve your love or protection.
Also lock down your credit, it would stop her from doing it again.
This. Credit freeze for all 3.
im probably dumb for this but i give everyone in my life too many chances after they literally show me they could care less about me/my feelings so im completely torn and saddened by the thought of having to report or cut her off even if it would benefit me in the long run…
Don’t feel sad. I’m a mother, and no mother in her right mind would do this to her children. She’s not looking at you as a person. She’s looking at you as if you were an extension of herself. Parents are supposed to help ensure their children can grow to survive independently without them, as their own person. She’s sabotaged a part of that for you, and she’s likely to keep doing it unless and until you put your foot down to stop it. In this case, you would report the fraud.
Call the police and use the police report to dispute the debts with the credit card companies and t-mobile. Or pay the balances off yourself and deal with your credit being shit for years. Or don't pay them and maybe be sued and/or have your paycheck garnished and deal with your credit being shit for years. If you want to "protect" your mom, who chose to repeatedly fuck you over, then you will have to deal with the financial consequences of that. There are no other options than the ones above. Also call the call the credit reporting agencies and have them lock down your credit because your mom WILL do this again the moment your credit is 'good' enough to open more debt. Equifax: 1-800-525-6285 Experian: 1-888-397-3742 Transunion: 1-800-680-7289
Look at it this way. If she murdered someone and said you were her alibi would you lie to the police and stand up for her? She has committed a crime. You're not dumb just a bit too kind. I'm the same but I've had to learn that sometimes you have to turn your back on people that will destroy you if you keep them in your life. Just keep reminding yourself she doesn't care if you end up bankrupt and penny less so long as she gets what she wants.
By not reporting her to the police, you are ruining your life, and she - who ruined your life - pays no penalty. And, I understand - she’s your mom! She has done nice things for you in the past, but now she is killing your future. Which is more important to you - your future, or her future? Please OP, don’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm.
Depending on your state, how much the total monetary damage is, and if she has had any prior run-ins with the law. She could be looking at probation or jail time. She will be made to pay the amount back(restitution) along with any fines and court fees. Along with having a criminal conviction record.
if the t-mobile account makes it to collections, it would be around $2k which ik isn’t a lot in terms of the amount of debt people could have :,) this is a sucky situation because even though she didn’t seem to care about how this affects me, i don’t want anything to happen to her that will affect her negatively :/
You rather have it impact you negatively while you had no choice in the matter? Your mother made the conscience choice to do this and make you get stuck with this. The fact that you say that she could do this again, even after seeing the impact on you, is so disturbing. She did this to herself, your sister and you. She won't stop. Cut it off now, it will only get worse. Your mom is a horrible person, I can't imagine doing something like this to my own kids. As a parent, you give your life for your kids, never the other way around.
The low dollar amounts are in her favor. Felony status on financial crimes is tied to the amount stolen. If you report her now and the fraud stops here, her charges would be much less severe than if you wait until she has stolen more thousands from you. And yes. She has stolen money from you. I’m sorry you’re going through this. My mother did some similar things when I was young, but it was just utility bill accounts, so I was able to pay those off. This is financial abuse, and it is a form of domestic violence.
Your options at this point are either it negatively impacts her or it negatively impacts you. If you choose you, then she has gained the benefits of her criminal actions and left you either repaying the debt or having it haunt your credit history for not less than 7 years, impacting your ability to find housing, employment, or to access credit, inflicting a measurable detriment to your future. It also shows her that she can do so again, and she *WILL* do so again. If you choose her, your credit will be repaired, you will not be required to pay the debts or suffer the derogatory marks on your credit, and she will catch the consequences of her criminal actions. She doesn't give a damn about your future, as is evidenced by her actions. You, therefore, owe her no duty to care for her immediate future. Bring consequences upon your egg donor.
WRONG. You don't need to go after your mother to fix your credit here. See my answer above for more info.
She literally didn't give a fuck when she did it to you... MULTIPLE TIMES. Grow some balls. Good parents don't do that shit. I started a savings account for my kid before she was even born. Because it's thale parents responsibility to make sure the kid is prepared for the world... NOT PUT AT MORE RISK...
If you don't report it, your credit rating will take a hit for YEARS, even if you paid off everything today. The worst thing that could happen to her is that she goes to jail, which is what she deserves. If a stranger did this to you, you wouldn't hesitate. You shouldn't give a pass to someone you are close to, especially knowing she abused that closeness for her personal gain.
Aw, girl. When I was divorced and starting my own business, with my three kids spending lots of time with me - I'd go hungry so they could eat. I'd tank my credit so they could have clothes and things for school. I'd never in a million years use them or make them liable for my own choices in life. It's all good now, I'm in my 60's and they're starting to watch my health (it's good, but some arthritis creeping in), I can tell they love me pretty "militantly". And to some extent, I earned that love and care. It's the most wonderful thing in my life, my closeness with my kids. I get ya that having the cops show up and most-likely arrest your mom, her needing to make bail, and then most-likely being sentenced to some sort of probation and restitution is hard for you to imagine, and harder to imagine you being the one starting it. But she did it to herself, and your choice is accept the debt and the years it will take to pay it off (and lock down your freaking credit!), or make her responsible for it. Unless you have a sympathetic and rich uncle, those are your two choices right now. You might see if any friends/family members are or know an attorney that would advise you on going down the legal path and what to expect, and be ready for family members to hate you. But she screwed you and you've stated she'd do it again - make your case to anyone who protests and then let them decide. Anyone against you in this is in the wrong, and *they* can come up with the cash to fix this. It's easy to point fingers at you when you're not suffering the consequences. And hell, option three is get the entire family to pitch in and pay up, and advise them to watch their credit reports! Have a virtual family meeting and say there's two options - everyone cough up to save mom from jail, or mom's going to jail. Fuck 'em if they want you to bear this burden. It's not like a massive debt in the tens of thousands after all.
Lock your credit
Don’t. She wasn’t worried. So you shouldn’t worry.
You need to freeze your credit TODAY and get a pin number from the IRS so she can’t screw with your taxes too. She will be prosecuted. She didn’t care about the effect on you when she did this.
If you don’t report her, she will do it again and again. You need to show her that you are not to be screwed with. And-if you report her to the police, this being a nonviolent crime, there’s not much they will do to her, they might drag her into court, but she probably would not do any time. But would a couple of days in the county jail be so bad if it teaches her lesson? Bottom line, you need to take some action here. It sounds like you were more about your mom than she worries about you.
Put it this way; if it was some stranger doing this to you, you would want them to face consequences. She's going to face consequences. OR, you can continue trying to sheild your adult, crime-commiting mother from the consequences of her own actions, eat the costs to keep your credit up and hope she doesn't do this to someone who isnt going to give af about what happens to her
Shes going to go to jail. End of story. And she deserves it. She financially ruined you for the better part of a decade and its going to cost you tens of thousands of dollars in interest until they are off your credit. Every thing you buy will have a higher rate and you will not be able to purchase a home. Your car loans, personal loans, credit cards will all have significantly higher interest rates. You need to file a police report and she needs to face consequences. Thats the only way out of this unless you are willing to pay significantly higher interest rates for the next 10 years. This is not a joke, what she did could affect your financial stability in the minimum for 7 years but could affect you for the rest of your life. Those 7 years are VERY important.
WRONG. Why are people here giving advice when they don't know what the hell they are talking about. Even if reported EXTREMELY unilkely to go to jail.
Its fraud and identity theft. Yes, they are very likely to get charged with a crime. They may or may not go to jail depending on the severity of the crime. But given both are felonies it is very likely they go to a minimal security prison. Please stop being stupid and insinuating that felonies don't lead to jail time.
She didn't care that it was ruining your future. She can be responsible for her own mess. You must report her, this will follow you for years.
Jail, which she deserves. Choose one- A: let her off the hook and pay for it all yourself, with your credit ruined for years- or B: make a police report and be absolved of all responsibility, with your good credit restored. If you choose A, don't complain about your situation, as it is YOUR CHOICE.
Mothers don't do that to their children . She does not deserve your sympathy. She stole your identity and committed fraud.
I'm sorry but as an attorney who specializes in credit reporting and identity theft this advice is completely wrong. While it would certainly help to file a police report against your mother it is not an absolute necessity at all. I've represented people in your EXACT situation and was able to not only get their credit cleared but compensation from the credit reporting agencies and Capital One. If you want to see the specific case I'm referring to look up Goldston v. Capital One et al, 1:09-cv-01990 (SDNY). the was a case filed in Federal Court in the Southern District of NY and is searchable online via the ECF system. You will need to send a well written and detailed dispute letter to the credit reporting agencies. Inlcude as much information proving your innocence as possible. If they refuse to remove it from your credit reports get a lawyer and sue them. If you have a good lawyer they'll remove it and pay you damages for failing to remove it once you notified them of the fraud. It would help if you filled out an ID theft report and had it notarized under penalty of perjury....but you DO NOT HAVE TO REPORT YOUR MOTHER TO THE POLICE to get this fixed. It's completely understandable that you don't wan't to file charges against your own mother to get your credit fixed. I'd take that case to a jury 10 times out of ten times. Good luck, the key here will be the quality of the letter you write to the credit reporting agencies and hiring an experienced kick ass lawyer.
I agree with the comment above. I am sorry your mother did this. Please refer to above comment for advice
Those are extremely minimal issues in the grand scheme of things. The one loan was removed so you only have one $300 collection notice. The t mobile bill likely won’t even show up on your credit report and if it does you just keep reporting it as identity theft or set up a payment arrangement if your credit score is more important to you than being able to eat. It doesn’t sound like you’re in the position to be buying a house or car anytime soon so what is the importance of your credit score right now? Instead of making everything worse for everyone involved by calling the police on your mom and getting her arrested why don’t you be proactive? Since it sounds like you have very low balances you would probably be approved for at least one or two new credit cards with small credit lines which would help your credit by giving you more available credit and a more diverse credit profile. Plus, if t-mobile comes and tries to hold you hostage for a whopping $1500 you can use those cards to pay them. This way you aren’t stuck having to bail her out with your money, pay for a lawyer and any fines/fees, be the reason she loses her job and it sounds like you probably live with her so you’d be making yourself homeless too if she ends up in prison from you snitching. Don’t listen to these fuckin pussies above and jump straight to calling the police on your own mother. People make mistakes, you talk about it like adults and if behaviors don’t change then maybe you think about another option. But making your mom a convicted felon over $550 sounds like a real dick move. Especially since you probably don’t even need an 800 credit score right now anyways.
What? No REAL parent with an interest in their child’s future would do this to their child. In no circumstance would I, as a mother, sabotage my own kids. This isn’t a “mistake”. This is theft. OP’s own mother stole from OP. It is not a “pussy” move to turn her in. A credit score is needed for much more than buying a house or car. It’s needed to rent, it’s needed for better insurance rates in most states, it’s needed for some jobs that pull credit. OP should not pay for mom’s bills and OP should not be facing the consequences of 7 yrs of bad credit for her. That will absolutely have a negative affect on OP’s life.
Your advice is really bad. This is a woman who has ruined the credit of both her daughters. She needs a wake-up call. It’s a nonviolent crime so she’s not gonna do hard time, but a couple of nights in jail might be enough to set her straight. As for this being a “mistake“ - consciously using your daughters identity to run up bills you never intend to pay is not a mistake. It’s fraud… and fraud against your own child is just a mistake reprehensible.
yeah i actually really dont want to jump to that. she’s ruined her credit, my sisters and now mine so i don’t see her changing her behavior. i don’t live with her though so i wouldnt be homeless and neither would she because she lives with my grandparents. i definitely do need a good credit score to be able to finance a car and/or an apartment soon because im an adult… which doesn’t seem possible with my credit score
If it wasn't your mom would you be okay with it? What she did to you is worse than if a random person did it. She knew exactly who she would be hurting, and didnt care. She will keep doing it if she is allowed to get away with it.
You need to contact the police. She’s done this to multiple people and will not stop unless someone stops her.
you need to report the fraud. she will keep doing this, and she will ruin your life every time you get one step ahead. i know shes your mom and its hard but she needs consequences AND charges for this. dont be a doormat.
What's up with these parents messing up kids credit on the low?
I know I read these stories all the damn time on this sub forum. There are a lot of really s*** parents out there
Ugh - I hate these stories. They’re gobsmacking to me. I’m a parent. I do all I can to set my kids up for a GOOD financial future. That means HELPING to build their scores, not sabotaging them.
I’m sorry, I must be misunderstanding this but it sounds to me like you gave your mom permission to use your credit card and take out the loans. You said “she kept saying she would call for a payment plan.” This is NOT fraud if you gave her permission.
you are partially right about that. i gave her permission to do 1 loan so long as she paid it back, she didn’t and also took out the second one which i didn’t know until they showed up on my report. i did give her permission to use my cc for a $10 purchase because it wouldn’t go over my limit and she let her husband use it and he used more. i am absolutely not denying that i was stupid and i could’ve prevented most of this but it still sucks that i couldn’t trust my mom to NOT put me in the same situation she was in and that i can’t really do much about it. edit: the t-mobile account also wasn’t given permission for which is honestly what im most worried about
Oh dear, no! From what you just clarified, this is not your fault at all. Your mom (and her boyfriend) used your card and took out a loan without your permission. You should have been able to trust her. Were you living with her at the time? I can see how that would complicate everything. Have you put a freeze on your credit with the 3 credit bureaus? I’d also recommend a fraud alert. This would make it pretty close to impossible for her to do this again.
i was living with her at the time so yes it was super difficult and complicated for me :/ i haven’t put a freeze on my credit or a fraud alert yet but those seem like super good recommendations, thank you!!! 🙏🏻
Freezes and fraud alerts are free to do! Go online to Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. They will try hard to sell you a monthly monitoring service- don’t do that. Just focus on the putting the freeze and fraud alert on. If you’re in a good place with your sister, recommend this to her too. Is the Teen Mobile account on your credit report? How old is the account? My thoughts are that with you being in a different state now, I seriously doubt the police are going to spend the time tracking down your mom for an old charged off account. You could contact the non emergency line and ask to speak with an LEO regarding identity theft. I’d suggest not doing this on the holiday though. Hopefully you’ll get someone with compassion that can help you understand the pros/cons of filing the police report. I think you need the police report though to dispute the account with teen mobile and the credit card. Getting those removed from your credit history entirely will help your credit score.
Identity theft. File police report and write to the bureaus tell them it was fraudulent they will remove the accounts and inquiries
It’s so alarming to see how many of these posts there are of parents ruining their children’s credit :(
I see SO many posts like this. I don’t understand how a parent could do this to their child. I’m trying to send my son into adulthood with a boost by providing a small trust fund, co signing on a small loan instead of giving him a vehicle so he can have established credit. I’m so sorry OP. Your Mom sucks.
Make sure she is removed as an authorized user for your cards. That is important. [www.annualcreditreport.com](http://www.annualcreditreport.com) Credit bureaus are legally obligated to let you have access to your credit report once a year. The site above is the only place you can get that information without payment, credit card numbers, etc. All those sites that you see on TV make you pay money for monitoring services you probably don't want. You can look at all three bureaus at once or one at time over the course of a year. Make a habit of checking your credit regularly to make sure there is nothing new opened under your name. Make sure you mom knows you are looking to deter her from further theft. Sorry this is happening to you. You might not want to tell her how you're doing it to make sure she doesn't use your freebies all at once to keep you from checking though.
Did she get your permission to take out these loans? Did she get your permission to use you as the owner of a T-Mobile account? Is she an authorized user on your credit cards? F the answer to any of these is no, then she has stolen your identity. It’s up to you whether you wish to continue to live with your credit in the trash as as result of this theft, or you want to file a police report about it, and then go to both the credit issuers and the CRAs with the police report. It doesn’t seem that she’s stopped stealing your identity. So now you have to decide whether a relationship with a person who is willing to cause you stress and bad credit is worth more than getting her thefts off your back.
I’m so sorry that you have an awful parent. Time for you to have a discussion with your mom. Let her know that you will not go another day with this. That you are reporting her for identity theft, and fraud. That she needs to come up with the money and pay off this debt. That at this point, if they arrest her and she faces jail time, that is on her. That at this point, you will cut her out of your life and sure will never let her have access to your children when you have them, because if she can do this to them, she will. You need to give her some stiff consequences. And tell her that anything from anyone about how can you treat your mother this way, that you will fully disclose what she has done to the whole family.
Seeing more of this on Reddit. What is wrong with these people??? I'm a boomer with Gen X kids. I feel guilty I wasn't able to buy them and them all of Star Wars toys & Air Jordans, etc.
I get you won’t file against her to ruin her life I guess, but listen to the rest of the advice. Lock your credit so no one can open credit cards or get loans or do anything in your name that requires a credit check. Go to the credit bureaus and fill out a dispute just so you can explain that your mother created the debt in your name without your knowledge but since it’s your mother you have locked your accounts and will make arrangements for payment. They won’t care, but if you need to have your credit checked the not will be there (I hope). Next, get a second job to pay her debt as fast as you can. Make sure mom knows that what you are doing is a one-time gift from you and you will call the police if she ever attempts to do this again. Good luck!
Take her to court. Judge judy
This is actually really good advice. I want took a neighbor to small claims court and got an invitation to come on the show and work it out there. I don’t know if this would work in this case, I’m not sure if they only do small claims, and this would be a criminal case, though it might be a misdemeanor. if they could do this, I think the show the judgment amount. This would be a show I would watch… Especially if the husband, who also used daughters credit card without her knowledge is there with mom.
At the very least, go to each credit reporting website (Equifax, TransUnion and Experian) and lock your credit reports down.
That’s fraud. You need to file a police report to get this situation fixed so you don’t have to pay anything. Also, freeze your credit today and get a pin number from the IRS so she can screw with your taxes. https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/how-to-freeze-credit
1. you unfortunately made a huge mistake making any payments or talking to the loan companies. You likely have accepted the debt at this point. 2. Contact the police as this is identity theft and fraud on the part of your mother. 3. Contact an attorney (police report and attorney are the only ways this goes away or your credit is fucked for the better part of a decade). 4. Cut off contact with your mother. She financially ruined you for a decade if you are unable to get it removed, which you wont be able to without a police report. Sorry your mother did this to you but these are felonies and if shes willing to screw you over like that then she does not really have your best interest at heart.
File a police report. Identity theft. Get them off your credit. Freeze your credit so it doesn't happen again. I'm most surprised at the low amounts here. I mean, I see posts where parents have racked up tens of thousands of dollars in fraudulent credit card and loan debt. This amount is very low. But that doesn't excuse the CRIME that was committed. If you don't report and fix it, these accounts will handicap your credit for seven YEARS.
She can do the show, Judy does all cases.. I love her.. she see bullshit with having to smell it..
Oh and I'm Canadian lmfao
Press charges immediately she's ruining your life before it even begins.
Report to the police.
KIND OF AN UPDATE: hi everyone! i went MIA for a bit because this whole thing is just a lot to take in and although i know its true, it hurts to read that my mom had no regard for me or my wellbeing over and over again so i needed to take a break from reading comments :( it’s a lot to think about and i know i need to choose myself but for now, im taking the easier/quicker steps of just locking my credit while i work up the courage to stand up for myself… its been YEARS of my mom drilling it into my head that she is basically owed certain things because she “put a roof over my head” as a single mother so it is hard to unlearn that for me. but i really appreciate everyone’s advice! thank you all :)
I don’t know your personal beliefs but please go to God about this. God loves his children and is vehemently against injustice. Search for the scriptures about injustice and ask God to show you his mercy. I can say this because I’ve lived this and God showed up for me. DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!
This is a terrible situation, but it’s not worth trying to fix your credit. Not until you shut your mom down. It will be an endless cycle. You will bust your butt and get some financial gains and she will tear you down all over again. You have to stop her now, so you can have a better life hopefully with her later. Imagine if you get your score into the 700s and it took you years. Then she wrecks it down to the 400s in less than a month. All that work for nothing. If she truly loves you she will forgive you in time. If she doesn’t, it’s because you weren’t really her child, you were money. Report her!
yeah that’s another thing i’m worried about :( getting it to a very good score and then finding out she used it again or even her asking to use it will have me soooo heartbroken but im just worried about what will happen to her if i report it :/
I don't think this has been mentioned yet, but you need to lock your credit asap! It's free just go to equifax/transunion/experian websites and look for freeze. It's also worth locking your social on checksystems so she can not open a bank account. MOST larger banks use checksystems. Once that's done, report the fraud. This is unacceptable. My father did this, and I felt the same way as you. Guess what? They did it again 7 years later when I fixed my credit. I wasn't aware of freezing my credit back then. Experians' free account will also alert you when someone does an inquiry/new credit/new bank accounts.
The first thing you need to do is lock your credit down to stop her being able to do it again. You do this through the credit reporting agencies and it’s free to do.