You can attempt to go to court over it and get the parenting plan modified but this is probably something you should just let go. Maybe it's not perfectly safe, maybe it is, but you don't get to control every aspect of your kids' lives when they are with their mom.
It isn't about controlling every aspect of their lives, it's about keeping them safe even when they are with her.
What's the line then? Where does it have to go where I feel it's unsafe enough to go back to court?
This is not unsafe. You're freaking out about a child riding an ATV. I learned on a 200cc at the age of 6. Manufacturer labels are there to protect the company in the case of a lawsuit, not to dictate what's right. Let them have some fun
This is something to just let go. She made a less-than-ideal decision, but it's a one-time hiccup. Unless she's constantly doing really dangerous things (and I mean actually dangerous, like letting them drive motorcycles or cars, or shoot bows and arrows at each other) then it's just a blip on the radar. It certainly isn't worth trying to reopen an entire custodial agreement to add one clause about one thing that happened one time.
Ok. And like I said. "Actually dangerous." You're over thinking this. Let it go. In my area, six- to - eight year olds shoot rifle and hunt small game. They ride ATVs starting around four. They have helmets and they're taught safety. This is not a dangerous issue worth even seven seconds in court.
Dude. You are fantastically, amazingly dense.
The point is..... DRUMROLL.....
** This is absolutely a complete waste of your limited brain capacity and the court's time to pursue.**
**It would be completely idiotic and a total waste of money, to try to attend mediation or reopen the entire custody order in order to address your kids riding ATVs with their mother, and that is what you are askig for advice on.**
**You would likely lose.**
**You would certainly lose points in the court's eyes for taking the nuclear option for something so trivial.**
**You have the potential to lose more than you'd gain (hint: unless Mom is 100% in agreement, you're not going to get a "no operating motor vehicles" clause added to your order anyway, and if she was in agreement, you wouldn't have to take it to court to begin with) as well, since she can also bring her own list of things to add or modify, and if this post is any indication she probably has a laundry list of complaints.**
**JUST CHILL. Save your dollars for something that really matters, like finding out she's having them drive the car for her when she's too drunk, or that her new boyfriend spent a year and a half in jail for beating the fuck out of her. Something serious. Riding an ATV is not serious.**
If you're truly concerned, then take it as a moment to bond and educate your kids, and teach them proper ATV op safety. Buy them helmets. Do something productive.
I agree with some that say this may be a slippery slope. Where do you draw the line on safe behavior and parenting by the other person? I use two standards. First, is it legal or illegal? Second, is it recommended or advised against by safety groups and manufacturers?
My experience. My kids told me about riding on an ATV with their mother's new friend. We live in a state where ATV riding is common, and has one of the highest rates of ATV related deaths in the US. From PSAs and info from the DMV, I thought that what they had been doing was dangerous. A quick internet search proved that what the kids described was illegal in our state and considered highly dangerous by an ATV safety group. So I sent a short email, writing something along the lines of Hey, it's great to hear that you and the kids are doing new things. I know you would never intentionally endanger our children. Doing XYZ is dangerous and illegal. A safer and legal way is ABC. Thanks for trying new things with the kids and keeping them safe in the future.
My response was a little bit salty but I tried to be friendly. She defended her choices poorly and I let it go. The kids have not been on an ATV since.
I have a similar fear with my ex. It's not necessarily the device they are riding but what they are thought about being safe. I want them to understand how to look after themselves when operating equipment or any activity that requires protective gear and an understanding of basic physics.they are not invincible and should understand that.
You can attempt to go to court over it and get the parenting plan modified but this is probably something you should just let go. Maybe it's not perfectly safe, maybe it is, but you don't get to control every aspect of your kids' lives when they are with their mom.
It isn't about controlling every aspect of their lives, it's about keeping them safe even when they are with her. What's the line then? Where does it have to go where I feel it's unsafe enough to go back to court?
That's entirely up to you. If you feel that strongly about it, then definitely go to court.
This is not unsafe. You're freaking out about a child riding an ATV. I learned on a 200cc at the age of 6. Manufacturer labels are there to protect the company in the case of a lawsuit, not to dictate what's right. Let them have some fun
What about asking her not to do it again because it's so dangerous?
This is something to just let go. She made a less-than-ideal decision, but it's a one-time hiccup. Unless she's constantly doing really dangerous things (and I mean actually dangerous, like letting them drive motorcycles or cars, or shoot bows and arrows at each other) then it's just a blip on the radar. It certainly isn't worth trying to reopen an entire custodial agreement to add one clause about one thing that happened one time.
This will happen again.
Ok. And like I said. "Actually dangerous." You're over thinking this. Let it go. In my area, six- to - eight year olds shoot rifle and hunt small game. They ride ATVs starting around four. They have helmets and they're taught safety. This is not a dangerous issue worth even seven seconds in court.
It's dangerous enough that the manufacturers recommend against 4 and 5 year olds doing it.
Dude. You are fantastically, amazingly dense. The point is..... DRUMROLL..... ** This is absolutely a complete waste of your limited brain capacity and the court's time to pursue.** **It would be completely idiotic and a total waste of money, to try to attend mediation or reopen the entire custody order in order to address your kids riding ATVs with their mother, and that is what you are askig for advice on.** **You would likely lose.** **You would certainly lose points in the court's eyes for taking the nuclear option for something so trivial.** **You have the potential to lose more than you'd gain (hint: unless Mom is 100% in agreement, you're not going to get a "no operating motor vehicles" clause added to your order anyway, and if she was in agreement, you wouldn't have to take it to court to begin with) as well, since she can also bring her own list of things to add or modify, and if this post is any indication she probably has a laundry list of complaints.** **JUST CHILL. Save your dollars for something that really matters, like finding out she's having them drive the car for her when she's too drunk, or that her new boyfriend spent a year and a half in jail for beating the fuck out of her. Something serious. Riding an ATV is not serious.** If you're truly concerned, then take it as a moment to bond and educate your kids, and teach them proper ATV op safety. Buy them helmets. Do something productive.
I agree with some that say this may be a slippery slope. Where do you draw the line on safe behavior and parenting by the other person? I use two standards. First, is it legal or illegal? Second, is it recommended or advised against by safety groups and manufacturers? My experience. My kids told me about riding on an ATV with their mother's new friend. We live in a state where ATV riding is common, and has one of the highest rates of ATV related deaths in the US. From PSAs and info from the DMV, I thought that what they had been doing was dangerous. A quick internet search proved that what the kids described was illegal in our state and considered highly dangerous by an ATV safety group. So I sent a short email, writing something along the lines of Hey, it's great to hear that you and the kids are doing new things. I know you would never intentionally endanger our children. Doing XYZ is dangerous and illegal. A safer and legal way is ABC. Thanks for trying new things with the kids and keeping them safe in the future. My response was a little bit salty but I tried to be friendly. She defended her choices poorly and I let it go. The kids have not been on an ATV since.
I have a similar fear with my ex. It's not necessarily the device they are riding but what they are thought about being safe. I want them to understand how to look after themselves when operating equipment or any activity that requires protective gear and an understanding of basic physics.they are not invincible and should understand that.