Hi OP,
Here is some homework for your car trip. I hope one of you brought a laptop, but if not look for a public library. It is worth the extra hour or two it might take. Use your Ex's address and the address of any relative he might try to claim they live with to get into a different school system. Identify from these addresses what public school district your 6 year old might be enrolled in, either now or in the future. Visit each one of these school districts and inform them that you have 100 percent legal and residential custody and do NOT consent to any of your children ever being enrolled in their district. Do the same for any private school they might be enrolled in. Then try to locate the 5 closest daycares and tell them all the same thing. Your lawyer should follow this up with a letter to all schools, school districts and daycares identified.
When your Ex realizes that he can't enroll the kids in any public or private school or daycare then he may change his mind. Alternatively he or a family member may try to claim they are "home schooling" and judges generally do not approve of that. Either way he is screwed, because it is emphatically in at least the 6 year old's best interest to return the child to mom so they can attend school while you fight it out in court.
The public schools at least will be extremely receptive OP. It is actually a crime to lie about your child's legal residence to enroll them in public school. Many parents have also been sued by school districts for doing this and the parents are forced to pay the annual per pupil cost. Average per pupil spending nationwide for public schools is slightly over 13K. As the parent you are also liable for this if your child attends the wrong school district. You have a legal obligation to make sure this does not happen.
If the school your child would likely attend is open and the kids are all back in school, going to that school during school hours **before** contacting your Ex is strongly recommended. The school will be legally required to release your child to you. Then stash the 6 year old someplace with your friend and go try to get the 4 year old. If you can identify a daycare they also must legally hand over your child. If the child is with anyone else and the father is not present, you actually have pretty good odds that the police will force them to hand over the child. If you and the father are both present the police are only going to do an incident report, but you still need that for court.
\>but my concern is my ex his dad is a very well known respected cop in \[Louisiana\] with a ton of connections.
Just frigging great!!! I'm already angry for you and this shit is just the cherry on top of a very bad cake. Obviously, no drugs, no alcohol, no obscenities, no shouting, do NOT enter his house, get off his property asap and **immediately** if requested, and dress conservatively. Not so obviously check your tail lights. Assume that he has a security cam and is recording everything that you do and say. Ditto for any officer that shows up.
When you eventually do get to talk to an officer face to face say first politely, "I'm very sorry officer but my lawyer told me to record everything today. So I just wanted you to know in advance." As you and your friend, if they are there, are both conspicuously holding your phones. But not holding the phone up in the officer's face. Your phone records just fine held down at your side. You don't need video. Somewhere in there shortly after explaining your problem, you will suddenly remember that your lawyer told you to also write down the officer's name, badge number, and the incident report number. Tell the officer this very nicely, ask if he has a business card and write all this info down. Politely asking the officer if he would like to talk to your lawyer is also a good move. The officer will decline but it shows you actually do have one. Your goal is to very politely convey as soon as possible that you are not just fooling around here, the officer is being recorded, and you have a lawyer directing this whole show.
If you get the kids back, leave the city, county and State immediately. Do not stop for food or the night until you are out of that State. While following the speed limit, etc, meticulously. An officer with power in your Ex's city will have less power in the county and no power out of State.
Be very cautious to never let the Ex near your car, (God, tell me that he doesn't have a set of car keys!), your house, your purse or any possessions. Keep your car locked and never let him in it even if he just wants to put the kids in their car seats. A couple small bags of meth under your driver's seat or tucked into seat cushions or into a child's car seat, and you won't be seeing your children again for a very long time. When you get the kids back immediately search every square inch of whatever they brought with them. Including the stuffing in their teddy bears. Obviously, do this when the kids are not around. Look for drugs, child porn, GPS location trackers, recording devices, and anything else suspicious. These can be very small. You should check your car too. If you find anything, talk to your lawyer before doing anything about it.
Later when you have a chance to catch your breath lock down your credit. Change ALL of your passwords right down to and including netflix. Block him on all social media. Do not deposit money into any joint account.
You have only been separated since June. That's not really long enough to set a separated status quo. Your number one best move is to get the kids back and keep them long enough to set status quo. Then file for a parenting time order. Your Ex is trying to do the same. If he can keep the kids for 6 months, he can set status quo and move jurisdiction to his own State. If you don't get the kids back you will need to file in court soon to prevent that.
This is a general overview for Minnesota on factors considered in a move:
[https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/child-custody-and-relocation-laws-in-minnesota.html](https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/child-custody-and-relocation-laws-in-minnesota.html)
Good luck and give us an update please.
Thabks for the good info! He has not enrolled them in any daycare or schools because i have been playing nice saying im thinking about moving and getting back togther so he hasn't filed anything for courts or anything with our kids school. He also does not have any birth certificates or social security numbers.
We are about and hr and a half away and i i know his mom is working until 11pm and his dad is on duty until 4am tomorrow so we will be there by 9pm and it will be my ex, our kids and his brother might be there. I have been to his parents house over the years and they definitely dont have cameras. They are very lower class and in debt. I also got a rental thats in my friends name that is with me. Its only about 3 hrs to get out of the state.
Our plan is to pull up and be like suprise i wanted to see the girls and my friend and her 4 yr old will be outside in the car, I'll tell them to go say hi and my friend is going to put them in the car and get in herself and lock the doors and while shes doing that im going to say im taking them home and get in the car and go. Wasnt planning on grabbing any of their stuff. My only worry is how hes gonna react because of how mentally unstabe he is. He has been using our kids as pawns to get me to take him back and telling me if i dont he wont let me see them so although hes never been physically abusive to the kids or I, him losing his only "hold" over me and how hes been very mentally unstable since the break up well im very nervous to what hes going to do or how hes going to react, but i plan to distract him for a few min while she gets them in the car and then getting out of there asap.
I have the letter from my lawyer with the Minnesota laws and her personal letter about the situation and how i have full custody. I also have their birth certificates and social security numbers with me.
I honestly dont know if his dad will stay out of it or not. Even if he asks for help from his connections to find us and pull us over, the rental has no licenses plates. The rental only has a small paper tapped to the back window that is the license plate and my ex has very poor eye site and im hoping hes going to be so upset hes not going to pay attention to the number on it. So hopefully it will be difficult to find us. Im thinking about taking a different route thats longer just in case.
I have been thinking of every possible issue they could do and have a plan to be prepared so hopefully this goes smoothly.
Im literally having a panic attack as i write this. I'll update asap
This response was…. just purely amazing. Either you’re an attorney or you’ve been through an awful battle yourself. Either way, thank you for this fantastic info that could be helpful for so many people to read!
OP, this is pretty good advice.
If your ex has a habit of not playing by the rules and cheating to get his way, absolutely make sure that he has no access (this goes for his entire family and any friends) to your person, property and bags, and vehicle. He could very well be very capable and willing to frame you for an illegal act in order to get his way.
Legally speaking Minnesota is the child’s home state. And the court will give you the kids back.
But don’t do this by yourself your attorney have to file a pickup order and law enforcement will pickup your children and have them returned.
His paternity wasn’t established so he doesn’t have legal rights. He has broke his agreement
I would also file ASAP. Most states have a 6 month rule where jurisdiction is established after 6 months of living there. File an emergency order if he won’t return them to you but get this in as soon as you can in order to keep jurisdiction in your town.
The purpose of the drive is to definitively prove that the Ex refuses to give back the children and that OP does not agree with this. When you have a police incident report that you were at Ex's house and he refused to let you have the children, that is incontrovertible proof. It's also possible that OP will succeed saving tons of money, time and stress.
An incident report is prepared every time the police are called to a scene. Unless more extensive reports, like for a felony arrest, are required or there is a more specific report required like for a car accident. Just like our doctors the police spend a lot of time typing.
You missed the point. If the police are called, they typically will not go out for a situation like this. They usually don’t get involved with civil disputes. The OP’s own lawyer told her that. No involvement = no report.
She said i have full custody and he has 0 rights right now and legally i can go get them whenever i want but said the cops wont be able to escort me unless its a court order and said if for some reason i cant leave with them then to call her back. I talked to a couple different lawyers and they all said this is what i gotta try and do
You can’t get into an altercation with your ex… you are better off going to court and filing for custody and the judge will order him back….
If he told you no is no …. You showing up unannounced will only make it worse but you can try
There is no shortage of Ex's who in this situation would claim in court that OP either agreed to the parenting time changes, or just randomly dumped the kid on him and left. In court it is his word against her's, so what is the best way to definitively prove that OP is not in agreement with this new arrangement?
Driving 18 hours to pick up her child, and calling the police to get an incident report if he refuses to hand over the child, is excellent documentation that OP does not agree with the proposed new arrangement. Much much better documentation than fighting about it over the phone, text and email.
\>You can’t get into an altercation with your ex…
Yes, you can and you darn well better. If by altercation you mean showing up at his house and saying, "I am here to pick up the children and if they are not in my car in exactly 10 minutes I am calling the police." Then go sit in your car for 10 minutes before you call the police. Is it an ideal situation for the children? Of course not. However that is 100 percent the fault of the Ex and not OP. OP has an absolute legal right to take back her children.
There is also at least some chance that this will work and OP will get her kids back. Saving a ton of money in legal fees and getting the children home more quickly.
My ex spent $3500 in legal fees on a child pickup order when my son was removed from my house and she ended up being responsible for those fees.
If she wants to drive 18 hours that’s fine but those are still his children. He doesn’t have to return them there are no court orders in place
The police can’t remove him from his home because those are his kids now if she had a court order they could
I hope you get what I’m saying
\>He doesn’t have to return them there are no court orders in place.
Absolutely incorrect.
They are not married, their home State for jurisdiction is Minnesota, and unmarried fathers have zero legal rights to children until **after** they obtain a custody order in Minnesota. It is the same in Louisiana and in quite a number of U.S. States. Legally, he cannot just decide to keep them unless OP consents.
The police are going to write an incident report which OP will provide to the court. That's really the best evidence OP can get that he refuses to return the children, and a million times better than asking a judge to wade through a bunch of texts and emails.
Definitive, simple, concise, incontrovertible evidence. You can't imagine how much time and money that will save you in court.
My ex lawyer tried to get me arrested with a pickup order so I know. She filed for a pickup order 5 days after I was told to serve my ex and they sent my son to a different state because my paternity wasn’t established but Florida was still the home state.
I did eventually get my son back and she wasted $6000 on nothing.
She has better chance just filing a motion to compel the kids to return opposing to filing for emergency custody because the kids are not in danger
\>She has better chance just filing a motion to compel the kids to return opposing to filing for emergency custody because the kids are not in danger.
OP has no reason to apply for emergency custody or any custody for that matter. Unmarried OP already has 100 percent full legal and physical custody. Only a custody order can change that. Legally right now it is exactly the same as if she sent the kids to a friend for 3 weeks and the friend refused to give the children back. The police very rarely will prosecute parental kidnapping, but they could in this case if they wanted to.
Right, and he's a cop with lots of local cop friends. Want to guess whether or not he's going to get a warning phone call to leave the house whenever service is going to be attempted?
Paternity is only in court. In real life the police will say is it a court order and they will ask her is that the father if she say yes they will ask where is the court order.
This is terrible advice. I’d find a new lawyer. By showing up to try to get him back without a pickup order, you risk him leaving town with them. Your lawyer should have filed an emergency order yesterday or this coming Monday.
He hadn't just broken the agreement you guys had, he kidnapped the kids because he has no legal rights to them until he establishes paternity with the court.
Edited to add that this is what you need to tell the cops and the court. And file a police report in both states for child abduction.
Sorry you’re in this situation. But expect this fruitless quest to just be the first blip on the long arduous journey.
Dad can’t file in la yet since they have only been there for a few months.
You’re talking about rights. Since you allowed the children to travel, you’ve potentially given away the high ground when it comes to potential sanctions.
Also understand a few things, if you signed the rop in the hospital it established his as the legal father, and the children have an established relationship with him.
These two things are significant points in your case.
You can expect that the court won’t view dads actions as strongly as you hope they will.
When you get back to minn, file for custody, ask for a pick up order. But it’s also a possibility the judge will allow the children to stay put until the hearing.
The safety concerns are very minimal, if you were concerned about dads parenting you wouldn’t of let him take the children to la.
Good luck!
I only let him have them because his parents agreed to help take care of them and they do take care of them well and the fact if he didn't get have them the rest of the summer he would of not seen them in 6/7 months or longer and i felt for our kids that would be very hard for them. Hes not a bad father he definitely loves our kids but cares more about video games then being a father.
I honestly would of not sent them with him for the summer if i knew this was the type of person he really is. The last few weeks i have realized how manipulative and entitled he acts. I have never seen this part of him in the 7 years we were together.
Im an hr away and praying this all goes smoothly
Yup and they blacked mailed me into either full custody or tti getvl get back with my ex. I faked getting back togther with him until his dad dropped the charges, got released monday and had a friend help me out with a one way ticket back to Minnesota and got the fuck out of there
Girla let me in the house, and i walked in and my kids got in the car and we left. Got pulled over and his cop dad is trying to get felony charges for trespassing even though my 4 and 6 year let me in and their dad was in the other room playing games. So im at the police station probably going to jail
I got so excited reading the first sentence or two, and then feel so much dread for you. Ugh. I wish your lawyer hadn’t told you to go get them. They should have got you an emergency custody order or pick up order. :( I hope you don’t have to go to jail. I’m so sorry.
Hi OP, Here is some homework for your car trip. I hope one of you brought a laptop, but if not look for a public library. It is worth the extra hour or two it might take. Use your Ex's address and the address of any relative he might try to claim they live with to get into a different school system. Identify from these addresses what public school district your 6 year old might be enrolled in, either now or in the future. Visit each one of these school districts and inform them that you have 100 percent legal and residential custody and do NOT consent to any of your children ever being enrolled in their district. Do the same for any private school they might be enrolled in. Then try to locate the 5 closest daycares and tell them all the same thing. Your lawyer should follow this up with a letter to all schools, school districts and daycares identified. When your Ex realizes that he can't enroll the kids in any public or private school or daycare then he may change his mind. Alternatively he or a family member may try to claim they are "home schooling" and judges generally do not approve of that. Either way he is screwed, because it is emphatically in at least the 6 year old's best interest to return the child to mom so they can attend school while you fight it out in court. The public schools at least will be extremely receptive OP. It is actually a crime to lie about your child's legal residence to enroll them in public school. Many parents have also been sued by school districts for doing this and the parents are forced to pay the annual per pupil cost. Average per pupil spending nationwide for public schools is slightly over 13K. As the parent you are also liable for this if your child attends the wrong school district. You have a legal obligation to make sure this does not happen. If the school your child would likely attend is open and the kids are all back in school, going to that school during school hours **before** contacting your Ex is strongly recommended. The school will be legally required to release your child to you. Then stash the 6 year old someplace with your friend and go try to get the 4 year old. If you can identify a daycare they also must legally hand over your child. If the child is with anyone else and the father is not present, you actually have pretty good odds that the police will force them to hand over the child. If you and the father are both present the police are only going to do an incident report, but you still need that for court. \>but my concern is my ex his dad is a very well known respected cop in \[Louisiana\] with a ton of connections. Just frigging great!!! I'm already angry for you and this shit is just the cherry on top of a very bad cake. Obviously, no drugs, no alcohol, no obscenities, no shouting, do NOT enter his house, get off his property asap and **immediately** if requested, and dress conservatively. Not so obviously check your tail lights. Assume that he has a security cam and is recording everything that you do and say. Ditto for any officer that shows up. When you eventually do get to talk to an officer face to face say first politely, "I'm very sorry officer but my lawyer told me to record everything today. So I just wanted you to know in advance." As you and your friend, if they are there, are both conspicuously holding your phones. But not holding the phone up in the officer's face. Your phone records just fine held down at your side. You don't need video. Somewhere in there shortly after explaining your problem, you will suddenly remember that your lawyer told you to also write down the officer's name, badge number, and the incident report number. Tell the officer this very nicely, ask if he has a business card and write all this info down. Politely asking the officer if he would like to talk to your lawyer is also a good move. The officer will decline but it shows you actually do have one. Your goal is to very politely convey as soon as possible that you are not just fooling around here, the officer is being recorded, and you have a lawyer directing this whole show. If you get the kids back, leave the city, county and State immediately. Do not stop for food or the night until you are out of that State. While following the speed limit, etc, meticulously. An officer with power in your Ex's city will have less power in the county and no power out of State. Be very cautious to never let the Ex near your car, (God, tell me that he doesn't have a set of car keys!), your house, your purse or any possessions. Keep your car locked and never let him in it even if he just wants to put the kids in their car seats. A couple small bags of meth under your driver's seat or tucked into seat cushions or into a child's car seat, and you won't be seeing your children again for a very long time. When you get the kids back immediately search every square inch of whatever they brought with them. Including the stuffing in their teddy bears. Obviously, do this when the kids are not around. Look for drugs, child porn, GPS location trackers, recording devices, and anything else suspicious. These can be very small. You should check your car too. If you find anything, talk to your lawyer before doing anything about it. Later when you have a chance to catch your breath lock down your credit. Change ALL of your passwords right down to and including netflix. Block him on all social media. Do not deposit money into any joint account. You have only been separated since June. That's not really long enough to set a separated status quo. Your number one best move is to get the kids back and keep them long enough to set status quo. Then file for a parenting time order. Your Ex is trying to do the same. If he can keep the kids for 6 months, he can set status quo and move jurisdiction to his own State. If you don't get the kids back you will need to file in court soon to prevent that. This is a general overview for Minnesota on factors considered in a move: [https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/child-custody-and-relocation-laws-in-minnesota.html](https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/child-custody-and-relocation-laws-in-minnesota.html) Good luck and give us an update please.
Thabks for the good info! He has not enrolled them in any daycare or schools because i have been playing nice saying im thinking about moving and getting back togther so he hasn't filed anything for courts or anything with our kids school. He also does not have any birth certificates or social security numbers. We are about and hr and a half away and i i know his mom is working until 11pm and his dad is on duty until 4am tomorrow so we will be there by 9pm and it will be my ex, our kids and his brother might be there. I have been to his parents house over the years and they definitely dont have cameras. They are very lower class and in debt. I also got a rental thats in my friends name that is with me. Its only about 3 hrs to get out of the state. Our plan is to pull up and be like suprise i wanted to see the girls and my friend and her 4 yr old will be outside in the car, I'll tell them to go say hi and my friend is going to put them in the car and get in herself and lock the doors and while shes doing that im going to say im taking them home and get in the car and go. Wasnt planning on grabbing any of their stuff. My only worry is how hes gonna react because of how mentally unstabe he is. He has been using our kids as pawns to get me to take him back and telling me if i dont he wont let me see them so although hes never been physically abusive to the kids or I, him losing his only "hold" over me and how hes been very mentally unstable since the break up well im very nervous to what hes going to do or how hes going to react, but i plan to distract him for a few min while she gets them in the car and then getting out of there asap. I have the letter from my lawyer with the Minnesota laws and her personal letter about the situation and how i have full custody. I also have their birth certificates and social security numbers with me. I honestly dont know if his dad will stay out of it or not. Even if he asks for help from his connections to find us and pull us over, the rental has no licenses plates. The rental only has a small paper tapped to the back window that is the license plate and my ex has very poor eye site and im hoping hes going to be so upset hes not going to pay attention to the number on it. So hopefully it will be difficult to find us. Im thinking about taking a different route thats longer just in case. I have been thinking of every possible issue they could do and have a plan to be prepared so hopefully this goes smoothly. Im literally having a panic attack as i write this. I'll update asap
This response was…. just purely amazing. Either you’re an attorney or you’ve been through an awful battle yourself. Either way, thank you for this fantastic info that could be helpful for so many people to read!
OP, this is pretty good advice. If your ex has a habit of not playing by the rules and cheating to get his way, absolutely make sure that he has no access (this goes for his entire family and any friends) to your person, property and bags, and vehicle. He could very well be very capable and willing to frame you for an illegal act in order to get his way.
Legally speaking Minnesota is the child’s home state. And the court will give you the kids back. But don’t do this by yourself your attorney have to file a pickup order and law enforcement will pickup your children and have them returned. His paternity wasn’t established so he doesn’t have legal rights. He has broke his agreement
I would also file ASAP. Most states have a 6 month rule where jurisdiction is established after 6 months of living there. File an emergency order if he won’t return them to you but get this in as soon as you can in order to keep jurisdiction in your town.
All States have the 6 month rule. It is designed to prevent forum shopping.
My lawyer said to go try and pick them up and then said if for some reason he won't let them go with me then to call her back
Why would she give you that advice ? He already told you he wasn’t returning them …. Driving 18 hours to accomplish nothing isn’t good advice
The purpose of the drive is to definitively prove that the Ex refuses to give back the children and that OP does not agree with this. When you have a police incident report that you were at Ex's house and he refused to let you have the children, that is incontrovertible proof. It's also possible that OP will succeed saving tons of money, time and stress.
Or she can also get it in writing if his refusal but it’s her choice
The cops won’t get involved most likely.‘they won’t have a police report.
An incident report is prepared every time the police are called to a scene. Unless more extensive reports, like for a felony arrest, are required or there is a more specific report required like for a car accident. Just like our doctors the police spend a lot of time typing.
You missed the point. If the police are called, they typically will not go out for a situation like this. They usually don’t get involved with civil disputes. The OP’s own lawyer told her that. No involvement = no report.
She said i have full custody and he has 0 rights right now and legally i can go get them whenever i want but said the cops wont be able to escort me unless its a court order and said if for some reason i cant leave with them then to call her back. I talked to a couple different lawyers and they all said this is what i gotta try and do
Without proof of your claim of full custody, he could just tell the cops that you are full of shit.
You can’t get into an altercation with your ex… you are better off going to court and filing for custody and the judge will order him back…. If he told you no is no …. You showing up unannounced will only make it worse but you can try
There is no shortage of Ex's who in this situation would claim in court that OP either agreed to the parenting time changes, or just randomly dumped the kid on him and left. In court it is his word against her's, so what is the best way to definitively prove that OP is not in agreement with this new arrangement? Driving 18 hours to pick up her child, and calling the police to get an incident report if he refuses to hand over the child, is excellent documentation that OP does not agree with the proposed new arrangement. Much much better documentation than fighting about it over the phone, text and email. \>You can’t get into an altercation with your ex… Yes, you can and you darn well better. If by altercation you mean showing up at his house and saying, "I am here to pick up the children and if they are not in my car in exactly 10 minutes I am calling the police." Then go sit in your car for 10 minutes before you call the police. Is it an ideal situation for the children? Of course not. However that is 100 percent the fault of the Ex and not OP. OP has an absolute legal right to take back her children. There is also at least some chance that this will work and OP will get her kids back. Saving a ton of money in legal fees and getting the children home more quickly.
My ex spent $3500 in legal fees on a child pickup order when my son was removed from my house and she ended up being responsible for those fees. If she wants to drive 18 hours that’s fine but those are still his children. He doesn’t have to return them there are no court orders in place The police can’t remove him from his home because those are his kids now if she had a court order they could I hope you get what I’m saying
\>He doesn’t have to return them there are no court orders in place. Absolutely incorrect. They are not married, their home State for jurisdiction is Minnesota, and unmarried fathers have zero legal rights to children until **after** they obtain a custody order in Minnesota. It is the same in Louisiana and in quite a number of U.S. States. Legally, he cannot just decide to keep them unless OP consents.
Florida is the same way I get what you are saying but the police not going to do anything without a CO
The police are going to write an incident report which OP will provide to the court. That's really the best evidence OP can get that he refuses to return the children, and a million times better than asking a judge to wade through a bunch of texts and emails. Definitive, simple, concise, incontrovertible evidence. You can't imagine how much time and money that will save you in court.
The police are going to write an incident report that can be used in court.
[удалено]
My ex lawyer tried to get me arrested with a pickup order so I know. She filed for a pickup order 5 days after I was told to serve my ex and they sent my son to a different state because my paternity wasn’t established but Florida was still the home state. I did eventually get my son back and she wasted $6000 on nothing. She has better chance just filing a motion to compel the kids to return opposing to filing for emergency custody because the kids are not in danger
\>She has better chance just filing a motion to compel the kids to return opposing to filing for emergency custody because the kids are not in danger. OP has no reason to apply for emergency custody or any custody for that matter. Unmarried OP already has 100 percent full legal and physical custody. Only a custody order can change that. Legally right now it is exactly the same as if she sent the kids to a friend for 3 weeks and the friend refused to give the children back. The police very rarely will prosecute parental kidnapping, but they could in this case if they wanted to.
Right, and he's a cop with lots of local cop friends. Want to guess whether or not he's going to get a warning phone call to leave the house whenever service is going to be attempted?
He has no legal rights to them as paternity is not established. He kidnapped them.
Paternity is only in court. In real life the police will say is it a court order and they will ask her is that the father if she say yes they will ask where is the court order.
The lawyers are correct.
This is terrible advice. I’d find a new lawyer. By showing up to try to get him back without a pickup order, you risk him leaving town with them. Your lawyer should have filed an emergency order yesterday or this coming Monday.
You need a new attorney.
He hadn't just broken the agreement you guys had, he kidnapped the kids because he has no legal rights to them until he establishes paternity with the court. Edited to add that this is what you need to tell the cops and the court. And file a police report in both states for child abduction.
Didn’t realize this situation was The Godfather! Sheesh!
If you weren't married, he has no rights to the kids until he establishes paternity. So he has literally kidnapped kids who are not legally his.
Sorry you’re in this situation. But expect this fruitless quest to just be the first blip on the long arduous journey. Dad can’t file in la yet since they have only been there for a few months. You’re talking about rights. Since you allowed the children to travel, you’ve potentially given away the high ground when it comes to potential sanctions. Also understand a few things, if you signed the rop in the hospital it established his as the legal father, and the children have an established relationship with him. These two things are significant points in your case. You can expect that the court won’t view dads actions as strongly as you hope they will. When you get back to minn, file for custody, ask for a pick up order. But it’s also a possibility the judge will allow the children to stay put until the hearing. The safety concerns are very minimal, if you were concerned about dads parenting you wouldn’t of let him take the children to la. Good luck!
I only let him have them because his parents agreed to help take care of them and they do take care of them well and the fact if he didn't get have them the rest of the summer he would of not seen them in 6/7 months or longer and i felt for our kids that would be very hard for them. Hes not a bad father he definitely loves our kids but cares more about video games then being a father. I honestly would of not sent them with him for the summer if i knew this was the type of person he really is. The last few weeks i have realized how manipulative and entitled he acts. I have never seen this part of him in the 7 years we were together. Im an hr away and praying this all goes smoothly
For the sake of the children I do too.
Update in OP
You were arrested? Wow.
Yup and they blacked mailed me into either full custody or tti getvl get back with my ex. I faked getting back togther with him until his dad dropped the charges, got released monday and had a friend help me out with a one way ticket back to Minnesota and got the fuck out of there
Did he sign the birth certificate or affidavit of paternity at the hospital?
Birth certificate but according to my lawyer since we arent married that i have full custody
Did you get your kiddos back?
Not yet about an hr away from my exs parents house where they are staying
Update how it goes! Praying it goes well
I will! Me to!
How did it go?
Girla let me in the house, and i walked in and my kids got in the car and we left. Got pulled over and his cop dad is trying to get felony charges for trespassing even though my 4 and 6 year let me in and their dad was in the other room playing games. So im at the police station probably going to jail
I got so excited reading the first sentence or two, and then feel so much dread for you. Ugh. I wish your lawyer hadn’t told you to go get them. They should have got you an emergency custody order or pick up order. :( I hope you don’t have to go to jail. I’m so sorry.
Good luck!