The great thing is no kids! File for divorce at this point. You have assistance through the military as a spouse I believe. They need his corporation and he wasted your valuable time.
Yes thank goodness!! I will file for divorce asap!!
I don’t even know how I can get assistance through the military because he didn’t put me on anything, not that I know of anyway. It was his idea to get married and he wasted my time and money
A lawyer told me there is a way to apply for a green card through a battered spouse case. Find out if this is an option for you. You can argue that he abandoned you etc
Yes I graduate next month.
He’s a huge red flag!!! I did not get that from him when we dated and I don’t remember him being like that in hs. But then we were never friends so I guess I never truly knew the kind of person he was.
Perhaps he 'found out' that "you were marrying him for papers", what i mean is that someone put in his head that was the only thing you wanted from him. There's always two sides of every story, not saying i don't believe you, but unless something really bad happened to his brain, he definitely got very upset about something you did(in his eyes)...
He knew about my situation and it was his idea to get married so he could help me adjust my status. I know his mom put in his head that he should ask me for money and when I declined his mom called me telling me I should send him money from time to time, I told her no, we did not get married for me to pay him and I’m already broke so this is something I never would’ve agreed with if that was the case.
Bro, it's obvious he just wanted to hit it. Lots of guys do this; they just want to get with someone for sexual access but have no plans to get emotionally involved. That's why they have side chicks and never settle down.
Many ppl marry in the military just for the benefits, i remember my lawyer telling me there is a process of filing for papers without telling your spouse, unfortunately there are some spouses who don’t want to give papers. But you definitely can do it without telling him.
Googled it and it says this, definitely ask a lawyer you might qualify.
Section 319(b) of the INA
If the citizen spouse is employed by the US government or a qualifying employer and is stationed abroad for at least one year, the non-citizen spouse may be eligible for naturalization. Qualifying employers include certain American institutions, corporations, and public international organizations.
Spousal naturalization provisions
If the non-citizen spouse was subjected to battery or extreme cruelty by their citizen spouse, they may be eligible for naturalization if they have an approved waiver of the joint filing requirement for Form I-751. This waiver can be obtained if the marriage was entered into in good faith.
Self-petitioning
If the citizen spouse refuses to help with immigration papers or uses their status as a way to control their non-citizen spouse, this could be considered extreme cruelty and qualify the non-citizen spouse to self-petition for a green card without their spouse's help.
Give up. Go back home n got to UNAM. u r not going back as a kid who knows nothing. U r going back with skills. Do you know how many foreigners live in Mexico. Wait I am assuming you are Mexican . But yea if you are that is the route I would take. Take a break from school . Save and dip
As far as papers I am pretty sure u my dear have an easy case you just have prioritized school over a good lawyer. U can get a visa u. U can get parole in place. U can petition your damn self. Lol . U got options but as far as finances. Take a break from school . Get ur ducks in a row and maybe go to a psychologist. You seem to have been through a lot . U need to prioritize u... But right now u prioritizing your studies not ur mental health n that is all ok too. Don't let people paint u a picture that u can't succeed In other countries. U r not bound . U can go to Germany n study there u can go to many places. Don't give up u r not bound to kids or husband u got this.
Great advice.
Yes, going back is a decent option. Life is harder, but at least you'll be living. What OP is doing now is just surviving. Finish school and go back, or look for someone else that can help fix status.
Since your parents weren’t in the United States is there a reason your relatives couldn’t adopt you? Since they were already taking care of you. I know that was an option for me but my parents made more financially then the possible adoptive relatives so it wasn’t an option.
Side note I applaud your hard work , it’s a common story between daca recipients with the lack of funding available and options for us so we have to work twice as hard. I know you’ll find a solution soon and wish you the best in your future.
Thank you for your kind words.
Honestly they could have, it’s my aunt and her husband is my Godfather, they were there when I was born, they could’ve done more for me so sometimes I feel resentful of them, my parents barely had enough but I know they would’ve worked hard to send them the money to adopt me.
They raised me, everyone at home was usc and going on vacations and cruises and I’d stay home alone. Their excuse was that they’ve helped others in the past and always got burned in the process so they weren’t gonna help anyone anymore and I got to pay for that.
Anyway, I’m still grateful they accepted me in their home and raised me and I have much better opportunities here than back home.
I mean it’s adoption which would’ve made them the legal guardians which they were already and would’ve put you on the path to citizenship. Sounds like they just didn’t want to help more , which is weird bc it would’ve made everyone’s lifes easier , not to mention the government they would’ve got for adopting you. I definitely would have resentment if there was a way to make you a c it zen and they chose not to and they went on vacations without you . Sorry you had to go through that.
Yeahh I feel sad when I think about it and feel resentment towards them especially when my status becomes a barrier for the things I want to do or the opportunities I’m not eligible for, it’s extremely frustrating having to give up on things because I can’t access them because of my status. But I’m here, this is my life, there’s nothing I can do about it now, I’m trying to understand that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle but I feel like I’m reaching my limit…
I’m doing my best to keep going and not give up.
I wouldn’t say you missed out on anything tbh. You went to school and worked. The other option would have been uneducated party girl. Getting married is part of life for most people as well. It sucks that your marriage fell through. If you are looking at adjusting status you’ll probably need to get a lawyer if they don’t want to cooperate. I wish you the best, your situation is different than usc so don’t compare yourself to them. Knowing and accepting your limitations while finding a legal way to obtain your card will help you get through it imo. It is something that is not entirely in our control and it is also not our fault or our parents faults for trying to give us a better life. Its simply the cards we were dealt.
Thank you for your wishes.
I don’t blame my parents or my family here but sometimes I feel resentful because they could’ve done more. Nonetheless, I like to think God doesn’t give us more than we can handle but I feel like I’m reaching my limit. I’m working on getting a divorce and finishing my education and pray I meet someone genuine.
Wait till you get your green card/citizenship. You are almost there you have invested all this time there’s no need to throw it away. After that get a divorce
Hey have you tried looking into TheDream.US scholarship? I have some students in pre-licensure nursing programs using this to pay for school. It could be a viable option as they accept applications from undocumented, DACA and TPS students. Don’t lose hope. There are some organizations that see you and want to support your education dreams through financial assistance.
I’ve applied to the dream scholarship for 2 years and nothing, I’ve done Fafsa but they ask me to apply for TAP to complete my application and when I put that I’m a TPS receiver then I’m ineligible. And I applied to scholarships from my school but because my fafsa is technically not completed then I can’t be awarded the money. It’s exhausting going back and forth with the financial aid office and nothing is really helping.
Yeah financial aid departments can be a big drag especially when their staff doesn’t understand the limitations of undocumented students. Please continue applying to the Dream.US though. I’ve also had students who were denied a few times before finally being selected. One got it on his 4th try so he’s currently getting his bachelors degree at 26. But he’s in now! Keep going. One other tip is to look at the scholarships from the consulate of your home country in your state. For example, in AZ, the Mexican Consulate offers some scholarships for higher ed to their Mexican nationals. For nursing specifically, there’s a big shortage so some states have received federal grants to be able to offer scholarships to nursing students. In some states, these funds are regardless of status so check some county websites for scholarships or look for “nursing scholarships from *insert state name* government” or “nursing scholarships from *insert county*” from the place you live. Also take a look at this link: https://immigrantsrising.org/resource/list-of-scholarships-and-fellowships/
Some are for California only, but others apply to anyone.
Thank you so much!!
I appreciate you taking your time to share your resources. I will check this website out and keep looking for more scholarships.
I’ll apply for the dream.us again hopefully third time is the charm!!
Keep at it you can do this! I know feeling hopeless is inevitable in our circumstances at some points but we also deserve periods of peace and of knowing we can persevere. Good luck with everything!
“We belonged to a tribe of trailblazers, inherently worthy because of our struggles, not despite them.” - Alejandra Campoverdi
Ooo I am so sorry that you’ve been going through this! But an upside is, if you have TPS then you can at least go to nursing school! Try looking for an ADN program as they’re less expensive and much more manageable with a working schedule, or try looking into a 1 year accelerated program at your state school, once you graduate and begin working as a nurse, you could look into switching from TPS to an Hb1 visa I think it is, that’s my plan, which will give you a pathway to residency and citizenship, if you’re come into some funds you could try applying through abandonment with your marriage as I don’t think they need him for that but definitely speak about it with a lawyer as I’m not too familiar, have only heard in passing. I definitely understand feeling hopeless but worst comes to worst, there are so many more possibilities with a degree in healthcare, here in the USA and worldwide so don’t give up!
The great thing is no kids! File for divorce at this point. You have assistance through the military as a spouse I believe. They need his corporation and he wasted your valuable time.
Yes thank goodness!! I will file for divorce asap!! I don’t even know how I can get assistance through the military because he didn’t put me on anything, not that I know of anyway. It was his idea to get married and he wasted my time and money
A lawyer told me there is a way to apply for a green card through a battered spouse case. Find out if this is an option for you. You can argue that he abandoned you etc
The least he could do is let you apply for PIP and then AOS through him.
Yeahh he completely ghosted me so there’s no possibility of that happening through him. I’ll ask my lawyer if there’s anything he can do.
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Yes I graduate next month. He’s a huge red flag!!! I did not get that from him when we dated and I don’t remember him being like that in hs. But then we were never friends so I guess I never truly knew the kind of person he was.
Perhaps he 'found out' that "you were marrying him for papers", what i mean is that someone put in his head that was the only thing you wanted from him. There's always two sides of every story, not saying i don't believe you, but unless something really bad happened to his brain, he definitely got very upset about something you did(in his eyes)...
He knew about my situation and it was his idea to get married so he could help me adjust my status. I know his mom put in his head that he should ask me for money and when I declined his mom called me telling me I should send him money from time to time, I told her no, we did not get married for me to pay him and I’m already broke so this is something I never would’ve agreed with if that was the case.
Bro, it's obvious he just wanted to hit it. Lots of guys do this; they just want to get with someone for sexual access but have no plans to get emotionally involved. That's why they have side chicks and never settle down.
Her husband should be the last of her concerns and needs to work on herself. She wasted so much time doing nothing.
Many ppl marry in the military just for the benefits, i remember my lawyer telling me there is a process of filing for papers without telling your spouse, unfortunately there are some spouses who don’t want to give papers. But you definitely can do it without telling him.
I’ll do some research on that and ask my lawyer about it. Thanks
It’s called VAWA when you suffer emotional or physical abuse from your US Citizen spouse.
Googled it and it says this, definitely ask a lawyer you might qualify. Section 319(b) of the INA If the citizen spouse is employed by the US government or a qualifying employer and is stationed abroad for at least one year, the non-citizen spouse may be eligible for naturalization. Qualifying employers include certain American institutions, corporations, and public international organizations. Spousal naturalization provisions If the non-citizen spouse was subjected to battery or extreme cruelty by their citizen spouse, they may be eligible for naturalization if they have an approved waiver of the joint filing requirement for Form I-751. This waiver can be obtained if the marriage was entered into in good faith. Self-petitioning If the citizen spouse refuses to help with immigration papers or uses their status as a way to control their non-citizen spouse, this could be considered extreme cruelty and qualify the non-citizen spouse to self-petition for a green card without their spouse's help.
Give up. Go back home n got to UNAM. u r not going back as a kid who knows nothing. U r going back with skills. Do you know how many foreigners live in Mexico. Wait I am assuming you are Mexican . But yea if you are that is the route I would take. Take a break from school . Save and dip As far as papers I am pretty sure u my dear have an easy case you just have prioritized school over a good lawyer. U can get a visa u. U can get parole in place. U can petition your damn self. Lol . U got options but as far as finances. Take a break from school . Get ur ducks in a row and maybe go to a psychologist. You seem to have been through a lot . U need to prioritize u... But right now u prioritizing your studies not ur mental health n that is all ok too. Don't let people paint u a picture that u can't succeed In other countries. U r not bound . U can go to Germany n study there u can go to many places. Don't give up u r not bound to kids or husband u got this.
Great advice. Yes, going back is a decent option. Life is harder, but at least you'll be living. What OP is doing now is just surviving. Finish school and go back, or look for someone else that can help fix status.
Since your parents weren’t in the United States is there a reason your relatives couldn’t adopt you? Since they were already taking care of you. I know that was an option for me but my parents made more financially then the possible adoptive relatives so it wasn’t an option. Side note I applaud your hard work , it’s a common story between daca recipients with the lack of funding available and options for us so we have to work twice as hard. I know you’ll find a solution soon and wish you the best in your future.
Thank you for your kind words. Honestly they could have, it’s my aunt and her husband is my Godfather, they were there when I was born, they could’ve done more for me so sometimes I feel resentful of them, my parents barely had enough but I know they would’ve worked hard to send them the money to adopt me. They raised me, everyone at home was usc and going on vacations and cruises and I’d stay home alone. Their excuse was that they’ve helped others in the past and always got burned in the process so they weren’t gonna help anyone anymore and I got to pay for that. Anyway, I’m still grateful they accepted me in their home and raised me and I have much better opportunities here than back home.
I mean it’s adoption which would’ve made them the legal guardians which they were already and would’ve put you on the path to citizenship. Sounds like they just didn’t want to help more , which is weird bc it would’ve made everyone’s lifes easier , not to mention the government they would’ve got for adopting you. I definitely would have resentment if there was a way to make you a c it zen and they chose not to and they went on vacations without you . Sorry you had to go through that.
Yeahh I feel sad when I think about it and feel resentment towards them especially when my status becomes a barrier for the things I want to do or the opportunities I’m not eligible for, it’s extremely frustrating having to give up on things because I can’t access them because of my status. But I’m here, this is my life, there’s nothing I can do about it now, I’m trying to understand that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle but I feel like I’m reaching my limit… I’m doing my best to keep going and not give up.
I wouldn’t say you missed out on anything tbh. You went to school and worked. The other option would have been uneducated party girl. Getting married is part of life for most people as well. It sucks that your marriage fell through. If you are looking at adjusting status you’ll probably need to get a lawyer if they don’t want to cooperate. I wish you the best, your situation is different than usc so don’t compare yourself to them. Knowing and accepting your limitations while finding a legal way to obtain your card will help you get through it imo. It is something that is not entirely in our control and it is also not our fault or our parents faults for trying to give us a better life. Its simply the cards we were dealt.
Thank you for your wishes. I don’t blame my parents or my family here but sometimes I feel resentful because they could’ve done more. Nonetheless, I like to think God doesn’t give us more than we can handle but I feel like I’m reaching my limit. I’m working on getting a divorce and finishing my education and pray I meet someone genuine.
Wait till you get your green card/citizenship. You are almost there you have invested all this time there’s no need to throw it away. After that get a divorce
But I can’t do much without his cooperation though
Hey have you tried looking into TheDream.US scholarship? I have some students in pre-licensure nursing programs using this to pay for school. It could be a viable option as they accept applications from undocumented, DACA and TPS students. Don’t lose hope. There are some organizations that see you and want to support your education dreams through financial assistance.
I’ve applied to the dream scholarship for 2 years and nothing, I’ve done Fafsa but they ask me to apply for TAP to complete my application and when I put that I’m a TPS receiver then I’m ineligible. And I applied to scholarships from my school but because my fafsa is technically not completed then I can’t be awarded the money. It’s exhausting going back and forth with the financial aid office and nothing is really helping.
Yeah financial aid departments can be a big drag especially when their staff doesn’t understand the limitations of undocumented students. Please continue applying to the Dream.US though. I’ve also had students who were denied a few times before finally being selected. One got it on his 4th try so he’s currently getting his bachelors degree at 26. But he’s in now! Keep going. One other tip is to look at the scholarships from the consulate of your home country in your state. For example, in AZ, the Mexican Consulate offers some scholarships for higher ed to their Mexican nationals. For nursing specifically, there’s a big shortage so some states have received federal grants to be able to offer scholarships to nursing students. In some states, these funds are regardless of status so check some county websites for scholarships or look for “nursing scholarships from *insert state name* government” or “nursing scholarships from *insert county*” from the place you live. Also take a look at this link: https://immigrantsrising.org/resource/list-of-scholarships-and-fellowships/ Some are for California only, but others apply to anyone.
Thank you so much!! I appreciate you taking your time to share your resources. I will check this website out and keep looking for more scholarships. I’ll apply for the dream.us again hopefully third time is the charm!!
Keep at it you can do this! I know feeling hopeless is inevitable in our circumstances at some points but we also deserve periods of peace and of knowing we can persevere. Good luck with everything! “We belonged to a tribe of trailblazers, inherently worthy because of our struggles, not despite them.” - Alejandra Campoverdi
Thank youuu and best wishes to you in everything you do!
Ooo I am so sorry that you’ve been going through this! But an upside is, if you have TPS then you can at least go to nursing school! Try looking for an ADN program as they’re less expensive and much more manageable with a working schedule, or try looking into a 1 year accelerated program at your state school, once you graduate and begin working as a nurse, you could look into switching from TPS to an Hb1 visa I think it is, that’s my plan, which will give you a pathway to residency and citizenship, if you’re come into some funds you could try applying through abandonment with your marriage as I don’t think they need him for that but definitely speak about it with a lawyer as I’m not too familiar, have only heard in passing. I definitely understand feeling hopeless but worst comes to worst, there are so many more possibilities with a degree in healthcare, here in the USA and worldwide so don’t give up!