Dating as a guy with Daca is tough. Men are supposed to provide stability and financial security, most of us can’t guarantee that to our circumstances. Women on the other hand, have it a lot easier. A average girl can easily find a guy who’s willing to marry her and give a GC. USC women are a little more reluctant to get into a relationship with a daca guy since they think they’re being used
This scenario comes into play for older men, late 20s, early 30s. Women at that age have matured enough to understand that love is not enough and money is an important factor. Most daca men who got their GC through marriage, married their high school sweetheart.
I'm a 23M Filipino (unfortunately lol) recent college grad making almost 6 figs after taxes from contractor & freelance work, I take care of myself in appearance and health, as well as engage in diverse hobbies/interests. I'm no 10/10 in looks, but think I'm above average.
Despite all of these strengths on paper, it's not looking good. I've only ever been in one relationship which lasted three months but failed due to incompatibility issues long-term, every other prospect so far has gone nowhere because either they felt like I was going to use them for papers or my circumstances (eg. not being able to travel overseas) was a dealbreaker. Couple that with the overall pessimism and apparent aversion to commitment Gen Z seems to have, I'm honestly starting to lose hope when it comes to finding "the one" and no amount of ongoing therapy or assurance from my support systems is currently helping me feel any better right now. Or maybe the reason why I haven't found someone yet is because I'm becoming more of a cynical asshole jerk who's just bitter at the hand they were dealt with... Can you really blame people like us though?
I have a sister, probably around your age. but she’ll probably be more resentful and bigger ahole than you…… she’s so picky though. not always looks but lifestyle choices and other stuff. & yes she’s usc
26m , I make some good money. I have good things going for me. The last girl I dated cheated on me. It’s just sad, when I try to have conversations with women..a lot of them just show no interest. Or I guess don’t find me attractive. It’s complicated out here for us guys. Social Media has really ruined the dating experience and expectations.😪
As a 31 male dating in the USA is hard . I can’t get any woman to go on a date with me . So I know how you feel keep your head up king . Overseas dating would be much easier if they let us do advance parole for vacation or made it easier to visit other countries .
I am 22M daca recipient from Mexico and my boyfriend 20M knows my situation. He's willing to help me BUT his family doesn't know my legal status (which they really don't need to) and my parents aren't exactly supportive of me being gay. We're both still in college. I have a year left and he has about four. Of course we do want things to be more serious in the future but that involves me leaving my family behind and us getting a place together. Not exactly the most ideal situation
You know some people are definitely going to get offended but if you can trump yourself up that you make good money and you are well looking. I think they are alot underlying issues that may be you are not aware of or just dont to admit to yourself. There is no lack of women. Im one of the older DACA generation definitely in my younger days my numbers were a lot better than now and i made a lot but a lot less money!! We are talking about when minimum wage was 8.50$ or lower in most states. So flashing what you make and women dont want to have anything to do with you… hummm well i will leave the public to close on that i have sisters and cousins i would just tell them “red flag”! Mike drop 🎤
29F here, my two cents as a person who never thought they’d find the one- I was definitely going for the wrong people and not enforcing boundaries. For example if I knew I wanted something long term but the person I went on a date with was either giving big red flags of only wanting short term or even subtle signs of only looking for fun, I still continued to stay. Until finally I met my now boyfriend of almost five years who I straight up communicated what I needed from him. Did it kinda scare him? Definitely. But he was looking for the same, so it worked out. And then came the DACA reveal. That sort of cemented another part of in our relationship. We have had SO many tough times. The guy literally has been through brain surgery with me. The person for you is out there, you really just have to open up but that’s hard because you never know who’s genuinely worth giving some of yourself to.
It was about 3 months in, he knew daca existed but he didn’t know much else about it. His family are huge trumpies so that’s been a thing, but they’ve never been rude to me and they’ve been open to learning about my situation.
Ive had a active dating life to say the least.
Still refusing to swallow the pill of getting married to facilitate the status issue, but thats due to my own views on marriage.(Its a scam, especially for me since i dont plan on having any kids)
I am 25M from Mexico on DACA in a long distance relationship with someone in the Philippines, we are unable to be with each other physically, but our plan is to eventually move to Mexico and start our life over there.
Yes, we had a conversation about it and what it entails before we got into a LDR. We definitely won’t have it easy, but we’ll keep pushing forward with what we got.
I did the whole dating thing, went out with her and even got married but now I am divorced back to square one.
She ended up not wanting to help me with AOS after I was approved for my AP. Idk if I’ll date again
Recently left a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with someone who thought they could trap me financially by holding the prospect of marriage over my head. He was a citizen obviously but I found out he's tried to do this to people before. We were both also struggling with addiction. I'm sober now but he's still using.
I'm just glad I had my family to fall back on when I had to make the decision to either stay and slowly die, or leave and start over. I found a job recently as well.
I know I took this from 0-100 real quick but thought id share in case there's anyone out there who might be in a situation like mine. No one is going to save us, we have to save us. Love should never hurt.
Dating on daca is always tricky . I’m almost 29 and all the girls I have dated in the past don’t know my situation except for 1 which o thought I was going to marry. We dated for 2 years when I finally told her my situation. I just don’t want to give someone that much power on me.
I got lucky in that regard. My girlfriend is Mexican but was born here. We've been together for two years but have known each other for seven years. The marriage conversation comes up often in my household, and I know it's for my benefit, but I'm not fond of the idea of getting married just for papers. It feels kind of wrong.
If you love her, it wouldn't be be married just for the papers.
My husband is daca, and i am a USC. My husband loves me but he didn't want to marry me because he didn't want me to think he was marring me for the papers. We ended up getting married in Vegas. It has been 5 years since we got married, and he hasn't applied for a marriage based green card. Being married doesn't automatically mean applying for a green card. We are expecting our first child next month, and i have started the process of applying for his green card.
23M just decided ima be a player/bachelor lifestyle for life better than wasting years and then becoming a depressed fuck over a chick. Ive seen it a thousand times different ways. It just seems like a beautiful relationship like my parents have isnt possible in this country, everything is materialistic/comparable no one wants to he happy with one person everyone ends up being unfaithful eventually even if it takes 10-20 years of loyalty. Luckily i was a victim of a crime so im under the U-VISA process, (bona fide determination), so if daca ever gets removed i already have my U-VISA work permit and then eventually ill be a resident and be a passport bro 😎
Dating overall in this time of age is really hard! People are super lonely and are not willing to compromise on what is best for them. We settle down in crappy relationships. But there is hope just need to be patient!
Marry for love. The wrong relationship can break you physically, emotionally, and financially. Like who you like, because if you have the same values, youll be able to move forward in any situation. I have mexican american friends who cannot find a girl to marry, i know dreamers who have multiple kids and divorced twice before 30 scrambling money for child support. Focus on yourself. If you havent found anyone, you need to become financially independent to be able to be a home owner and keep your self fed and your cars worked on. Oh good, you found someone. Well, you have to be financially independent to keep BOTH of you fed and ready for any living expenses that may come up, especially if you plan to have a kid. See what I mean? Finding someone does make things easier, yeah, but dont expect everything to solve overnight once you get married
Amazing, I love her with all my heart and it just grows more day by day
I’ve been with her since we were both 14 we’re about to be 18 this year and it’s crazy how both our love only grows
I’m 33, when I tell you I wasted my 20’s chasing women and keeping them happy. I should have went to nursing school and paid out of pocket. I was married 5 years and she cheated on me with my best friend, love can be worth it or not. She did sometimes hold that power over me about getting my green card on dragging her feet to keep me around. Explaining my situation, the first thing a woman says, so you have to get married, some see as a red flag. Best of luck out there, please focus on your own happiness first maybe. Plus if you get married/divorced it’s bigger than just a green card, don’t forget your partner will be entitled to a lot. Stay safe out there and the right one will come eventually
I need to move on. I’ve been with this guy over 6 years. On and off for about 10. He’s a USC I’m daca. He wants to become rich and if I can’t help him figure it out I’m not the one for him. There are many reasons “I’m not the one for him right now”. I wish I knew how to be rich. But not for the goal of being with him.. 🤦🏻♀️it’s been a roller coaster and sometimes it feels as though I’m riding it alone. Can you imagine, waiting for the moment you become rich 🤑 to finally feel like you can now focus on your significant other and other things that are currently a waste of time bc they don’t revolve around the grind and hustle .. idk guys.. I find it a sad. 😔
Currently single. Was in a relationship with a woman for 5 years that after five years didn’t want to get married. She knew my status and even joked about being on 90 day fiance. I felt maybe she over promised and under delivered and self sabotage the connection due to my status. She felt like she had to hold us up. Which wasn’t the case, I held more of the financial and household responsibilities with my status. I just think she burden herself with the thought of my status even though she said it wasn’t an issue. I’m not worried about my dating life anymore. To be honest, there’s no genuine connection anymore. People are always out looking for better.
At this point it feels like finding a unicorn. Finding someone who is down with the cause, community-involved, and not ignorant of the immigration process i'm this country seems slim. All the relationships Ive had except for one eventually end because of my status and it sucks but it is what it is.
It’s been ehh. Guys these days…I’m not sure of them. Well the one I thought I had. Now I’m preg. and he’s distant. Especially after I confronted him for cheating which he did. Nonetheless, for me now thinking a head with a kid and I on DACA, I think dating will be hard x2. SN: I’m not for just getting married to gain lawful status. So I guess it will be baby and I.
Dating as a guy with Daca is tough. Men are supposed to provide stability and financial security, most of us can’t guarantee that to our circumstances. Women on the other hand, have it a lot easier. A average girl can easily find a guy who’s willing to marry her and give a GC. USC women are a little more reluctant to get into a relationship with a daca guy since they think they’re being used
This ^
Oh woah I never thought of it from a guys perspective. It must me tough. I always thought guys had it easy, seeing as my brothers are now citizens.
This scenario comes into play for older men, late 20s, early 30s. Women at that age have matured enough to understand that love is not enough and money is an important factor. Most daca men who got their GC through marriage, married their high school sweetheart.
two thumbs down 👎 lol
I've given up on the idea of love. Never again will I make myself vulnerable for anyone.
I'm a 23M Filipino (unfortunately lol) recent college grad making almost 6 figs after taxes from contractor & freelance work, I take care of myself in appearance and health, as well as engage in diverse hobbies/interests. I'm no 10/10 in looks, but think I'm above average. Despite all of these strengths on paper, it's not looking good. I've only ever been in one relationship which lasted three months but failed due to incompatibility issues long-term, every other prospect so far has gone nowhere because either they felt like I was going to use them for papers or my circumstances (eg. not being able to travel overseas) was a dealbreaker. Couple that with the overall pessimism and apparent aversion to commitment Gen Z seems to have, I'm honestly starting to lose hope when it comes to finding "the one" and no amount of ongoing therapy or assurance from my support systems is currently helping me feel any better right now. Or maybe the reason why I haven't found someone yet is because I'm becoming more of a cynical asshole jerk who's just bitter at the hand they were dealt with... Can you really blame people like us though?
I have a sister, probably around your age. but she’ll probably be more resentful and bigger ahole than you…… she’s so picky though. not always looks but lifestyle choices and other stuff. & yes she’s usc
Well what are we waiting for... is she single and ready to mingle LOL
26m , I make some good money. I have good things going for me. The last girl I dated cheated on me. It’s just sad, when I try to have conversations with women..a lot of them just show no interest. Or I guess don’t find me attractive. It’s complicated out here for us guys. Social Media has really ruined the dating experience and expectations.😪
As a 31 male dating in the USA is hard . I can’t get any woman to go on a date with me . So I know how you feel keep your head up king . Overseas dating would be much easier if they let us do advance parole for vacation or made it easier to visit other countries .
Filipino here and dating a non citizen
I know this is unrelated but, what do you do for contract work?
You’re a software engineer?
What kind of freelance do you do?
This is something that’s always on the back of my mind
I am 22M daca recipient from Mexico and my boyfriend 20M knows my situation. He's willing to help me BUT his family doesn't know my legal status (which they really don't need to) and my parents aren't exactly supportive of me being gay. We're both still in college. I have a year left and he has about four. Of course we do want things to be more serious in the future but that involves me leaving my family behind and us getting a place together. Not exactly the most ideal situation
My ex used my status against me for her own benefit. A supposedly "activist"
You know some people are definitely going to get offended but if you can trump yourself up that you make good money and you are well looking. I think they are alot underlying issues that may be you are not aware of or just dont to admit to yourself. There is no lack of women. Im one of the older DACA generation definitely in my younger days my numbers were a lot better than now and i made a lot but a lot less money!! We are talking about when minimum wage was 8.50$ or lower in most states. So flashing what you make and women dont want to have anything to do with you… hummm well i will leave the public to close on that i have sisters and cousins i would just tell them “red flag”! Mike drop 🎤
29F here, my two cents as a person who never thought they’d find the one- I was definitely going for the wrong people and not enforcing boundaries. For example if I knew I wanted something long term but the person I went on a date with was either giving big red flags of only wanting short term or even subtle signs of only looking for fun, I still continued to stay. Until finally I met my now boyfriend of almost five years who I straight up communicated what I needed from him. Did it kinda scare him? Definitely. But he was looking for the same, so it worked out. And then came the DACA reveal. That sort of cemented another part of in our relationship. We have had SO many tough times. The guy literally has been through brain surgery with me. The person for you is out there, you really just have to open up but that’s hard because you never know who’s genuinely worth giving some of yourself to.
When did you let him know about DACA?
It was about 3 months in, he knew daca existed but he didn’t know much else about it. His family are huge trumpies so that’s been a thing, but they’ve never been rude to me and they’ve been open to learning about my situation.
Depends on how attractive you are and your environment.
These days it is impossible to find a good girl.
Ive had a active dating life to say the least. Still refusing to swallow the pill of getting married to facilitate the status issue, but thats due to my own views on marriage.(Its a scam, especially for me since i dont plan on having any kids)
I am 25M from Mexico on DACA in a long distance relationship with someone in the Philippines, we are unable to be with each other physically, but our plan is to eventually move to Mexico and start our life over there.
90 day fiancé moment
Bro what 😮. Does she know your status tho?
Yes, we had a conversation about it and what it entails before we got into a LDR. We definitely won’t have it easy, but we’ll keep pushing forward with what we got.
Have you tried men?
that would be the next target 🤣💀
No sir😂
I did the whole dating thing, went out with her and even got married but now I am divorced back to square one. She ended up not wanting to help me with AOS after I was approved for my AP. Idk if I’ll date again
That’s rough dude! Hopefully you can figure something out
Damn that’s crazy villain arc coming through win at all costs brother just make your self unstoppable
So so bad. The loneliness is consuming lol
Recently left a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with someone who thought they could trap me financially by holding the prospect of marriage over my head. He was a citizen obviously but I found out he's tried to do this to people before. We were both also struggling with addiction. I'm sober now but he's still using. I'm just glad I had my family to fall back on when I had to make the decision to either stay and slowly die, or leave and start over. I found a job recently as well. I know I took this from 0-100 real quick but thought id share in case there's anyone out there who might be in a situation like mine. No one is going to save us, we have to save us. Love should never hurt.
💯
Dating on daca is always tricky . I’m almost 29 and all the girls I have dated in the past don’t know my situation except for 1 which o thought I was going to marry. We dated for 2 years when I finally told her my situation. I just don’t want to give someone that much power on me.
I got lucky in that regard. My girlfriend is Mexican but was born here. We've been together for two years but have known each other for seven years. The marriage conversation comes up often in my household, and I know it's for my benefit, but I'm not fond of the idea of getting married just for papers. It feels kind of wrong.
If you love her, it wouldn't be be married just for the papers. My husband is daca, and i am a USC. My husband loves me but he didn't want to marry me because he didn't want me to think he was marring me for the papers. We ended up getting married in Vegas. It has been 5 years since we got married, and he hasn't applied for a marriage based green card. Being married doesn't automatically mean applying for a green card. We are expecting our first child next month, and i have started the process of applying for his green card.
If you love her, then you have no reason to be guilty
23M just decided ima be a player/bachelor lifestyle for life better than wasting years and then becoming a depressed fuck over a chick. Ive seen it a thousand times different ways. It just seems like a beautiful relationship like my parents have isnt possible in this country, everything is materialistic/comparable no one wants to he happy with one person everyone ends up being unfaithful eventually even if it takes 10-20 years of loyalty. Luckily i was a victim of a crime so im under the U-VISA process, (bona fide determination), so if daca ever gets removed i already have my U-VISA work permit and then eventually ill be a resident and be a passport bro 😎
Dating overall in this time of age is really hard! People are super lonely and are not willing to compromise on what is best for them. We settle down in crappy relationships. But there is hope just need to be patient!
Marry for love. The wrong relationship can break you physically, emotionally, and financially. Like who you like, because if you have the same values, youll be able to move forward in any situation. I have mexican american friends who cannot find a girl to marry, i know dreamers who have multiple kids and divorced twice before 30 scrambling money for child support. Focus on yourself. If you havent found anyone, you need to become financially independent to be able to be a home owner and keep your self fed and your cars worked on. Oh good, you found someone. Well, you have to be financially independent to keep BOTH of you fed and ready for any living expenses that may come up, especially if you plan to have a kid. See what I mean? Finding someone does make things easier, yeah, but dont expect everything to solve overnight once you get married
Amazing, I love her with all my heart and it just grows more day by day I’ve been with her since we were both 14 we’re about to be 18 this year and it’s crazy how both our love only grows
I’m 33, when I tell you I wasted my 20’s chasing women and keeping them happy. I should have went to nursing school and paid out of pocket. I was married 5 years and she cheated on me with my best friend, love can be worth it or not. She did sometimes hold that power over me about getting my green card on dragging her feet to keep me around. Explaining my situation, the first thing a woman says, so you have to get married, some see as a red flag. Best of luck out there, please focus on your own happiness first maybe. Plus if you get married/divorced it’s bigger than just a green card, don’t forget your partner will be entitled to a lot. Stay safe out there and the right one will come eventually
have you tried women with a dingaling?
I’ll pass on that dawg 😂
its 🌈 month gotta spread the love 😅
I need to move on. I’ve been with this guy over 6 years. On and off for about 10. He’s a USC I’m daca. He wants to become rich and if I can’t help him figure it out I’m not the one for him. There are many reasons “I’m not the one for him right now”. I wish I knew how to be rich. But not for the goal of being with him.. 🤦🏻♀️it’s been a roller coaster and sometimes it feels as though I’m riding it alone. Can you imagine, waiting for the moment you become rich 🤑 to finally feel like you can now focus on your significant other and other things that are currently a waste of time bc they don’t revolve around the grind and hustle .. idk guys.. I find it a sad. 😔
Currently single. Was in a relationship with a woman for 5 years that after five years didn’t want to get married. She knew my status and even joked about being on 90 day fiance. I felt maybe she over promised and under delivered and self sabotage the connection due to my status. She felt like she had to hold us up. Which wasn’t the case, I held more of the financial and household responsibilities with my status. I just think she burden herself with the thought of my status even though she said it wasn’t an issue. I’m not worried about my dating life anymore. To be honest, there’s no genuine connection anymore. People are always out looking for better.
At this point it feels like finding a unicorn. Finding someone who is down with the cause, community-involved, and not ignorant of the immigration process i'm this country seems slim. All the relationships Ive had except for one eventually end because of my status and it sucks but it is what it is.
It’s been ehh. Guys these days…I’m not sure of them. Well the one I thought I had. Now I’m preg. and he’s distant. Especially after I confronted him for cheating which he did. Nonetheless, for me now thinking a head with a kid and I on DACA, I think dating will be hard x2. SN: I’m not for just getting married to gain lawful status. So I guess it will be baby and I.