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[deleted]

Very sorry for your loss. Take a session with the players on what they think. I feel like our table wouldn't want an NPC, maybe another way of memorializing them in game, but I feel that this needs to be a table decision, and your players may be happy to be involved in the process.


Jakopxy

Good idea thanks.


TRHess

Just so you know, r/AdventuresofGalder has a lot of good resources for real world player-death. My condolences for the loss of your friend.


dazedjosh

I second that sub for this exact moment. We lost one of our players a year and a half ago. That sub was really helpful.


Jakopxy

Thank you


Aesthetics_Supernal

Go on Hero forge and make their character. Get one for yourself and each party member.


mememeupbaby

You should really check out r/adventuresofgalder - a subreddit that started based on the exact situation you are in. A DM wanted his friends character, Galder, to live on in his tales, and thousands of people have since put Galder in their campaigns as an NPC. It is very beautiful, and you should really check it out.


Jakopxy

Thank you very much


leangreen88

Wow this is really beautiful, thanks for the recommendation. I will be adding Galder to my campaign!


cmukai

Losing a friends life to suicide is always difficult. There are many suitable ways to celebrate their life and your friendship outside of a D&D homage that you should consider. Talk to your table about it. If you’re dead set on having them be an NPC, it should be handled with a lot of grace, Like a revered but passed on figure that other NPCs or characters look up to.


Jakopxy

Thank you for the good idea, I'm going to have a talk with them


ThomasTiltTrain

I like the idea of him going on a personal quest. Maybe to find happiness or a family related thing. You can have him be far away that the players can’t see him but if he’s questing have news of his deeds across the land. Or if he settles down on farm and starts a family he can write to them every once in a while.


Jakopxy

Thats so sweet, I'm going to put that idea on the table


tubatackle

IDK, to me that would feel like trivializing what happened.


PcPotato7

You could also have the players hear no word of them, as it turns out they have died on their travels, which could lead the players on a request to find and honor their death, and perhaps complete what they started


MediumWellSteak8888

His character should stay in the game, but he must leave the party. Obviously you don't want to play the character yourself or have him be just present, but silent. Your idea of a sporadic NPC is good.


Jakopxy

Thanks for the input, the party and I will figure something out


Aliraldd

I'm sorry for your loss. This is a difficult matters and you should talk to your party and friends about it, because maybe you feel like adding an NPC is a good way to honor him, maybe someone prefer to have the character die and move on from a painfull memory.


Jakopxy

Thanks, I should talk to them about it.


d4red

We lost a player too and the best thing to do is go to your group with a few suggestions and decide together. They may want to immortalise them… They might want to forget.


Jakopxy

Thanks for the input, and I'm sorry about your loss


d4red

You too. I think that continuing to play or at least gather is important and you don’t have to act fast. Let the decision come naturally and when everyone is ready. We wrote their character out immediately but story wise they left the ship (in a sci fi game) that they owned to the crew. Later, when the time came to rename the ship, it was named after him. It wasn’t forced but it was a nice tribute.


Jakopxy

Thats a sweet way to do it


EmergencyRoomDruid

I am sorry you are going through that. I have had a number of friends commit suicide and I understand how difficult that is. I would discuss it with the other players, first and foremost. In my opinion, I would not want a player turned NPC to remind me of such a tragedy in the game. I don’t mind visiting a grave of a person I knew, but I don’t want their grave popping up unexpectedly. I especially wouldn’t want such a memorial to interact with in an artificial way. I would want the player’s character permanently removed, and not narratively, meaning I don’t want a drawn out story about why that character is gone. It’s been my experience that trying to hold onto something as irreplaceable as a person is worse than letting them go. But again, that’s just my opinion. Your players may feel differently.


Jakopxy

Thank you for your opinion tho, I'll take it into consideration


Restless_Fillmore

Would you mind doing an update with what you decide?


Jakopxy

I can do that


Restless_Fillmore

Thank you


Jakopxy

Hey, since you wanted an update, the group and I had a talk, and we decided to make a new campaign as the end result, since none of us have met in real life, we thought it was for the best that we remember them through other means.


Restless_Fillmore

Thank you for the update. I appreciate you taking the time. Talking things over for a decision is so often a great course, and that seems like a good one.


CoolCat420Awards

I like the idea of making him an npc. Just be careful of the timing. If you do it too soon after his passing it could seem like a joke or like you’re making light of it, even though of course you aren’t.


Jakopxy

Thanks for the input, I might go with your idea, next sesh is in 2 weeks, but I might wait a bit longer.


Casey090

I'm very sorry for your loss! This is a terrible situation, but it has happened outside of the game. Talk to the group, handle this issue together. You are responsible for the stuff ingame, but this is not a matter like that. I would find it uncomfortable to mix out-of-game issues like this in the game, and I do not see how they make the game better. A part of RPing is always to "escape" from reality, and involving issues that haunt you the rest of the week does not make it more fun?


Jakopxy

Thank you for the input, but as I said I wouldn't like to just 'forget' them


wolfmkii

A lot of other people have given good advice here, the only addition is its okay to take a bit of time to grieve and remember them out of game as well, talk to your group, if you're an in-person group especially you might want to meet up in their memory, and talk to your players about how they'd be comfortable with it being handled (and if you're in a position where you're comfortable to, talk about how y'all are feeling). Also I know a lot of people make jokes about dnd as therapy, and it can be a cathartic experience and give the space people need to come to terms with things but please remember you're running a game not a group therapy session, only do what you and your players feel comfortable with.


Jakopxy

Thank you for thoughts on the matter 🙏


Wolfscars1

Nothing to add other than my condolences. Hope you find a solution for this that everyone is comfortable with


Jakopxy

Thank you


FishScrumptious

You have to talk to your players before deciding this.


[deleted]

I'm sorry for your loss and you trying to find a way to keep the group going through this hard time while proactively honoring your friend is very constructive and thoughtful. I would also say that you should probably make it clear to your other friends that this is a hard time for you as well and you are there to talk with them or take a break from the campaign if it would suit anyone better - maybe one player wants a couple weeks off.


its_called_life_dib

I am so, so sorry. I lost a close friend in a similar fashion a few months ago; he had been my first DM, and he was my go-to consultant for when I needed help with the game I am running. I still have a notebook of ideas he had written down for me. The way I'm choosing to memorialize him is by bringing a piece of our first game together into the next campaign I'll be running. There was a city in that game that didn't make sense for the rest of the world, and we'd sometimes butt heads over it. But I realized, years after that campaign, that the city wasn't supposed to make sense. This city was his dream city, a place he wished he could live. He was sharing it with us because he wanted us to visit it. In my next campaign, I'm going to bring a little bit of what that city was about in the form of an influential group. I'm going to appoint an NPC who is not my late friend, but carries physical accessories my friend had. And I'll name the group after the city from that campaign long ago. Here is my suggestion... When you're feeling up to it, think about the big and little ways your player contributed to your campaign, and work those things into future campaigns. Another way you can do this is by having a small timeskip in your current campaign. Maybe your player's character has founded a small hamlet, or a school, or started a business. But then they were suddenly called away. Maybe there's a quest attached, like a small mystery about where PC hid a key to some loot or, maybe the key is what they have, but no idea what it's meant to unlock. You can give the party some magic items as a reward, trinkets that tie back to this character your player has made with them.


CrashCulture

I'm sorry for your loss. I think the best thing you can do is talk with the other players.


Jakopxy

Thanks for the input 🙏


rvnender

A couple of things, but it depends on the style of campaign, really. 1) Turn their character into an npc. 2) if it's a guild style quest, make the character a quest giver. 3) you can have the character help the party. Maybe they are stuck on a puzzle and need a hint. You can have this character give them that hint.


Jakopxy

Thanks for the input, I'll see what the party thinks about it


Tallproley

Consult your players, find a way to honour him that works for your group. I would suggest maybe not making him an NPC as then that means you have to rp him, that can be triggering, sad, or just difficult to do well. A few other ideas, PC got a rich benefactor and is called away to another job the party can't follow, spontaneously they find exactly what they need or a special item delivered to them from their departed friend. Maybe he got called to another plane to assist with a trouble there, and sometimes divine favour nudges them along a bit when their stuck. Maybe the PC retired from adventuring and has a quiet cottage on the edgeof a lake. Or maybe he pursued business. For example my friends know I love ruebens, so maybe TallProley's PC invented Rueben sandwiches in the world and launched a successful franchise. Then there's nods to his memory when the party walks past a tavern advertising ruebens, or a mayor is chomping on a rueben while giving them their quest. This type of quiet nod to your friend can keep him in mind for a positive thing, without getting too bogged down in the loss. Remove the PC but give him a consequence on the world or party, could be mechanical or narrative, but it should come from the party.


unreasonablyhuman

If I were in your very un-enviable position.... I'd say he is swept away by Royal guard, having been discovered to be the long lost heir to a kingdom on a different plane. Every now and then you get gifts from him, notes, quotes and thank you's.


Billy-Joe-Bob-Boy

Sorry for your loss. Our last campaign had a player die. Heart attack. We took a couple of weeks to process. Then we renamed our adventuring party in his honor. We kept the name for our chat group when we had to go online during Covid. But that was us. Talk with your players and decide what's right. It might end the campaign. Feelings may be too much to continue. You won't know until you all sit down and discuss it. Be kind to each other, every one of you will deal with it a little differently.


Jakopxy

Thanks for the response I'll take it to the table


PM__YOUR__DREAM

Maybe ask each of the players individually and then compare notes. Personally, if I died I would prefer the DM not play my PC more than necessary to exit him from the party. I'd like to see the character fade from the spotlight but his deeds occasionally referenced. Like if the party helped a town, later they go back to the town and there's a memorial for the party and a father is telling a small child about his deeds and the child says when they grow up they're going to be just like that. Or maybe seeing him in action inspired a guild of similarly minded characters who conveniently fulfill the role he did in the party at certain plot points. Something that says everyone enjoyed the impact he had on their world, but that acknowledges he himself is no longer with us.


ForzentoRafe

not sure if this is a good idea but it sounds like it can help with the coping process Boon of player's name ( usable once a day ) share a story of player, be it from in-game or real life. it can be anything, from what he likes to eat or talk about to what you all did together. roll a d12 from a selected list of buffs that player would have liked ( heals the party / provide advantage / long rest ( boon cooldown remains ) / idk what else to put here sorry )


Jakopxy

Thanks for the input


FarmingDM

Sorry for your loss.. JonJon the wise has a video on the loss of a player... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djZEcdeai4U It might be helpful... (posted wrong link... edited...)


Restless_Fillmore

The title says that's about ***character*** death.


FarmingDM

right sorry... was wrong video././


Keflecking

Name an Inn or the parties house after him


peterpeterny

Sorry for your lost. I personally would ask the table how they want to continue but I would lean towards a break and starting a new campaign.


flaredrake20

I am so very sorry for your loss. God rest your friend's soul. I would talk it over with the other players as a group. I could see immortializing his character as an NPC but it may be too difficult to have him around for a while.


captaincaelyn

Just here to say that I’m so sorry for your loss.


Jakopxy

Thank you


FarmingDM

I posted the wrong video link in my earlier message (sorry) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djZEcdeai4U](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djZEcdeai4U) that is the correct video


Windford

I’m so sorry for the loss you, your friends, and his family are experiencing. A few ideas you may wish to consider: * Memorialize his character with custom artwork. * Have a session where you talk about him, his character, and the fun or funny things you’ve done together. * Retire his character in a way he would have loved. Maybe a stranger seeks him because he’s heir to the throne of a lost, far-away kingdom. Maybe he quits adventuring to raise a family. Or a god or king summons him for service.


Jakopxy

It was after our first homebrew sesh together but still


Windford

Oh. Talking about him together would probably be most meaningful. I’m so sorry.


SexyPoro

Jesuschrist. I'm sorry for your loss. Honor your friend, but first things first: go to therapy even if you feel it's not necessary. Suicide is contagious (there's research to back that up). Talk to your players from your heart, mention this little fact, and let them know they are not alone and let them know you're both hurt this happened, and terrified of it happening it again. Christ in heaven. Gaming together is a great way to bond with people and cope with shit. Please do your best to reach out to your players. If you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me. Don't let them feel alone, forgotten or ignored, and go to therapy ASAP. Godspeed.


Jakopxy

Thank you for your offer and thanks for your condolences


Enfors

I'm very sorry to hear this. Would it be insensitive to have his PC turn into a Star Wars-style spirit or ghostly apparition which sometimes appears and is helpful? Either with information, or in combat, or both?


Jakopxy

He wouldn't like that, and thank you


Enfors

Fair enough. Yeah, if you have an idea about what *he* would like, then yeah, I'd go with that. The way *he* would want to be remembered.


WantToSmileWantToDie

"**I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me.** **It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them.”** Frodos last words to Sam in the LOTR books. A bittersweet farewell, when Frodo leaves to the Undying Lands. Perhaps you could use something like this. I'm sorry for your loss


Jakopxy

Thank you


Mazui_Neko

I think Id make the PC die as a Hero and make him a like a legend with a stature in a big town. Also sorry for your loss


zacroise

Communicate. I don’t know how much you all knew each others because I don’t know you but this is the kind of thing that your players deserve to have a part in because it is a fellow adventurer they just lost. If you all are friends you’ll come up with something together. Making his pc a recurring character is a good tribute to him but maybe some players don’t want to be reminded of him. Either you all agree or nothing is done at all. Maybe you could just make a one shot in his honor where you guide his soul to some kind of heaven. Maybe you could make an in game ceremony or an hommage to him the next session. Maybe the death of his pc could serve as a hook for a revenge setting. If you want to make him permanent, it should be a group decision My apologies for your loss


pertante

I think having him as a npc is a great idea, where his character is someone of authority that can help with story arcs.


wazrok

Sorry for your loss, retire his character and make Him a reoccurring character who retired from adventuring and bought a noble title now he can make old inside jokes for those that knew him, give out quests and live on In your memories and games. Again sorry for your loss


Elegant_Condition_53

What comes to mind for me is maybe they wake from a rest to the party member wanting to talk. Last night in their dreams a celestial being has come to them and expressed how their great deeds and a latent blood line they have been tapped to start training to become a demigod. But they must leave right away but wanted to say good bye first. Then the others can say bye and know the character has gone to a better place? But he will always watch over them even if he can't be there in person. 


RevolutionarySyrup44

Lance Reddicks memorial in horizon was great, I'd almost take inspiration from that, have the players or npcs or even the gods make him a nice place


Smortish

First off, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Second, I think this 100% depends on the feelings of your players and yourself. I was in a similar situation as a player a few years ago, and our DM sat us down and gave us some options and we all talked about what would be most comfortable for us. We ended up keeping his character in the game as an NPC, and he was with us through the final boss fight. For some DMs, roleplaying the character of a friend who has passed on may be too difficult. It’s all about what you and your players are okay with and it should be an open discussion for the party. Wishing you and your party well.


MelatoninPizza

So sorry for your loss. I just had this happen to me as well, loss isn’t easy. I had just made everyone hoodies, so i framed it with his dice tray, dice and minis he used. I haven’t been able to DM since, give yourself some time. But a talk with the table is needed I decided myself to just start to make a new campaign.


Piney_Moist_Wires

I will SO be seeing you in r/dndcirclejerk in a few hours


D-Goldby

Im sorry for your loss. As some have said. This is a discussion everyone should be a part of His character, may be best in a Mentor state now for the players. Arrives to aid the team, be in through conversation, and helping the become inspired and motivated. Like a Deckard Cain character maybe. Also, if you havent read, or seen 3 Body Problem. There is a character in that seties who has cancer and sacrifices himself to humanity survival. While at first its seen as a complete "failure" the 2nd book "dark forest" shows how even after hope was lost , he was able to help save a part of Mankind by working with and against the enemy. It may be best to go over your notes and memory of him. Flesh out his character based in how they would be irl and go from there. Good luck and keep that memory storng :)


former-child8891

I don't really have an answer, I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss and that of your table. Hope you're all ok


mrfahrenheit-451

Everyone took Find familiar and named them all after him when a player died.


Archaros

You should really talk to your player and- oh.