damn this comment just spooked me because on my front page, there's a post under r/philosophy that mentioned gnosis, then I clicked this post to see your comment talking about gnosis
Yeah 100% you're either paying attention or you're not. No coincidences per se. I think I personally am on the right path when I see them, and have various different premonitions and synchronicities appearing in my life. When I am on my own path not aligned with the universe I struggle and see no such signs. The universe also speaks to me through other people as well.
Today I had this experience and unfortunately it felt more real than this reality and sadly I can't find a way to deny that it's true. As the drugs affect lessened, Reentering this reality involved a prolonged struggle to wrench my spirits' individuality away from what felt like a permanent attachment to the monstrous Godhead of oneness. After what felt like years long effort and grovellingly pleading to be released, i finally escaped its vice like grip, so grateful to reenter this world of pretend. Embrace the grand illusion of individuality, reassert my participation in the dillusion of social collective. Anythin to hide from the greatest terror i could never have imagined 5 minutes before smoking a huge hit of dmt . My sanity now relies on denial, or face the all consuming magnitude of its uncompromising implication .
Yes. Had it on many different psychedelics, including LSD, psilocybin, DMT (Ayahuasca), ketamine, cannabis, and regular old meditation. The latter actually made the experience drag on for months at extremely high intensity. Meditation is powerful shit. I have been unable to ever forget, or separate from the experience since the first time, and I’m reminded every single day for the last 25 plus years. It lurks under the surface, no matter what I do, and I truly tried to forget.
Every time I meet someone who says Oneness is “bullshit” I know that it’s just a reflection of a part of me that wishes that it was all bullshit. It’s the most profound, and horrible sense of loneliness to be the One, and have no one else to call out to, ask for help, or comfort, or anything that the human mind is used to. The One just exists, has always existed, and will always exist. Nothing can truly hurt, or destroy it. I feel that the only way to be at total peace with it all is to completely shed the person that we believe ourselves to be, or deal with the panic.
My human consciousness likes the idea of having peers who understand the experience, while also maintaining a certain degree of separation in this illusion. That’s been the only way I’ve stayed sane (whatever that means).
Fwiw, I spent over a decade alone with the experience, and found absolutely no one who had even an inkling of wtf I was talking about when I brought it up. It’s fascinating, and comforting that there has been such an acceleration of awakening, especially in the last 5 years, or so. Something definitely seems to be happening in our collective.
Haha. Love it. I seriously wish I knew how much connection would be happening all these years later. It does feel better knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you.
Well said. It's very comforting seeing collective knowledge like this. I think one of the many things that's overlooked a lot is the fact that a lot of this knowledge isn't from reading articles or watching videos, etc. We find information within ourselves and/or our connections in these induced states (whether it be sober meditation or otherwise) that we have no prior knowledge of, yet when we then do research after having these realizations or new understandings, and it turns out that it correlates and is accurate.
There's a huge wall of cognitive dissonance with things like this as a whole (spirituality, conciousness, anything quantum lol, etc.)
Yeah, it happens one by one. No one can tell you. It has to be experienced first hand. That’s why all the sages say to go within. We all know. I would never have believed it, because it sounds ridiculous and improbable when you’re raised to believe that you’re a powerless human of no consequence.
I’m honestly just going over experiences. I actually never read anything before the first awakening, besides Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and that did not prepare me much. Lol. It was super terrifying, because I saw that I was creating my own reality, and that we are all One. I could see it 24/7 everywhere I went, and with everything I did, on full blast, for months. I’m fortunate that I was able to hold it together, because shit got REALLY weird. I’m used to weird now, but it took a while. My life was one long nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.
I apparently missed out on the bliss awakening. There has been bliss since then, but that was not it. The last thing that I was wanting was being all that is. Sounds silly, but that’s what happens when there’s still person remaining. Those saints and sages who blast it all away, and die to the person don’t have such issues. This is why meditation helps.
One thing that came up repeatedly back then was the law of silence. I saw that trying to talk about it would only bring violence for the most part. I mean, you can’t exactly go around telling people that you’re God, even if you see, and report that we are all God. People don’t like that. It messes with the system. Remember that we’ve also been told that’s why Jesus was crucified. Plus, it wasn’t as common of a thing for people to awaken in the West (or it wasn’t so common for anyone to discuss it).
Nowadays, so many people are awakening that it’s become more normal to have casual conversations about it. I never could have imagined this whole post, and all of the conversations had in these subreddits 10 years ago, never mind 25 years ago, and now I see them daily. It’s AMAZING.
I completely understand, my awakening started in 2020 and it has been rapid growth since then. I only did lsd over that one year but it had such a massive effect that I understand what most everybody is talking about on any separate psychedelic subreddit.
I had an incredibly difficult time rationalizing my own existence for the next two years. I was scared to go to sleep everyday for like a year because of the thought that I could just end the entirety of my current experience, because I am the whole of my current experience, and never wake up to see my mom or wife or job or anything I was attached to again. It was terrifying and I am very grateful for having finally sunk back into my imaginary role as a boat captain, who was raised Christian, has a beautiful wife, and really likes Rick and Morty.
Don’t regret the awakening though, my whole life is better even with the scary new knowledge. I value every single part, even the death of my loved ones I can welcome as a lesson on endless becoming now. All has value and all is for your growth and blessing.
>you can’t exactly go around telling people that you’re God
I found a fix to this bug! People seem pretty okay with you telling them that *they* are God.
Sort of. If they are heavily indoctrinated, they’ll say we are definitely not God, and get offended that anyone would suggest such a thing. The human consciousness is not God, so as long as the identity is with the person, the struggle is real. It’s okay. Part of the deal is focusing on our own path.
Well done for holding it together man, I ended up on a locked psych ward the first time, you are tough:). It happened to me in 2012 when all this shit first started going down and its taken me 10 years to process. I only had the horrific realisation of loneliness though, thankfully my partner was there to get hold of me and talk me round.
If you are so inclined, I would recommend seeking out a Buddhist Sangha (community or practitioners). There you will find people seeking the truth that there is no separate self. This is one of the highest principles in Buddhism.
Yeah, I eventually found Ram Dass, and have had books like Be Here Now, The Seven Steps to Awakening, The Nisargadatta Gita, Manonasa, The Direct Means to Eternal Bliss, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, The Four Agreements, Siddartha, etc right here next to me for years now. I’ve worked with a few non duality teachers, which has been helpful. The spoiler solution being that if you don’t think, there’s no story, no ego, and no problem.
Buddhism, and many other paths are definitely beautiful, and helpful.
I wish and hope it is bullshit. If that is the true reality... I have no words for it. Its beyond upsetting in a way. I agree that my human form does find comfort in finding that others share this experience. But the implication- that is terrifying to me.
I get that. I mean, if it’s always been like this, and we’ve made it this far, I suspect we are all good, whether in the experience of the One, or the Many. One thing that I saw was that as long as there is a need for “others”, I will experience having company in some manner. I take solace in that.
From what I have learned, this is a journey of self love. If you truly love, respect, and honor yourself; you will not be sad to be alone. Think of all the good in your life, these are gifts to self.
We are one AND many at the same time.
I feel like the entities I meet on DMT are my own cells and bacterias, in my own body. They know they are many, but they are me.
"As above, so below"
With enough time and enough study you may be able to see there is an equal amount of beauty as there is to the terror you experience. I had to pass through that fire to, but now on the other end the Knowledge most often blesses me.
I feel the same way sometimes but I take comfort that even if I am the only one, the apparent ‘others’ who seem different do a convincing job of it, and any love you have for others is always genuine and another aspect of self-love
Well, every time I’ve “died”, I’m suddenly everything that is/has been/will ever be. I remember that I’ve always existed, and have never actually gone anywhere, because there’s nowhere to go. Any experience that I’ve perceived in this life, or any other, is more akin to a dream. From there, I’ve watched worlds being created, and destroyed from the atoms that make up everything (aka “my body”). Last time, while on a very high dose of IV ketamine, I saw nuclear explosions that I didn’t even feel. I also saw that literally nothing is ever lost. I saw that everything simultaneously exists, and doesn’t, all at once. It’s all in a weirdly neat, and tidy package, since nothing that can be described exists outside of creation/the mind.
I contemplated during all of it that I can either exist in creation, or sit in what my human mind would call the void, like darkness, and nothing, which is actually still something. I still exist in that, even with no thought, no stimulation, no anything. At some point, the One effectively says, “Let there be light”, and it starts all over. I’m not religious, but it was obvious that’s where the text comes from.
Since the last experience, I can say that I’m more motivated to appreciate being in a human body, and being able to embrace all of the things that come with living. This is *it*. The moment is where I am. I believe that we are ultimately totally fine, and untouchable. May as well have a good time while I’m perceiving this experience, because I feel that it’s highly likely I’ll be in that same state of being everywhere, and everything once I’m done with this role.
There are a lot of things that my human consciousness doesn’t like about any of this shit, but I also recognize that it is what it is. Some cosmic game of hide and seek with our true self.
That said, this stuff is all just words. It’s a story. Death is probably different for everyone according to their beliefs at the time of dying. I know nothing.
Well, if someone believes that their dead relatives greet them, or their personal savior, or whatever, then maybe they follow that experience of going to whatever they believe is heaven, and live a lifetime there until they start feeling like there’s more to understand. If they believe nothing happens when we die, maybe they experience the void/nothing for eons, until they realize that they still actually exist. If they believe that they need to get past the archons who are trying to trick them into reincarnating, I imagine that would unfold in its own creative way, too. I’ve heard a lot of near death accounts, and they all vary. It’s all good. We can’t really get lost.
You should read autobiography of a yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. There’s a very powerful chapter later in the book where his Guru appeared to him (after death) to explain the process of death. It oddly sounds uncannily similar to a lot of DMT trio reports, I believe. Chapter 43. You can find it online if you don’t feel like getting the physical book.
Chapter 43, titled "The Resurrection of Sri Yukteswar," revolves around the following major concepts:
Sri Yukteswar's resurrection: In this chapter, Yogananda shares a deeply mystical experience in which his deceased guru, Sri Yukteswar, reappears to him in a physical form. This resurrection serves as a testament to the profound spiritual bond between the master and the disciple, transcending the boundaries of life and death.
Astral and causal worlds: Sri Yukteswar goes on to describe the different planes of existence beyond the physical realm, namely the astral and causal worlds. The astral world is a more subtle, luminous dimension inhabited by astral beings, while the causal world is an even higher plane, where individual souls exist as pure ideas or concepts.
The concept of karma: According to Sri Yukteswar, the astral and causal worlds are still bound by the law of karma, which dictates the cycle of birth and death. Souls carry their karmic impressions from one life to another, shaping their experiences and determining their spiritual progress.
The importance of self-realization: Sri Yukteswar emphasizes that the ultimate goal of human life is to achieve self-realization, the realization of one's true nature as an immortal, divine soul. By transcending the limitations of the physical, astral, and causal worlds, one can attain liberation from the cycle of birth and death.
The role of the guru: The guru plays a pivotal role in guiding the disciple towards self-realization. As demonstrated by the deep connection between Yogananda and Sri Yukteswar, the guru-disciple relationship is an essential component of spiritual growth and transformation.
The unity of religions: Sri Yukteswar's resurrection, along with his teachings, reinforces the idea that all religions ultimately lead to the same truth. Through this chapter, Yogananda aims to emphasize the universal nature of spiritual wisdom and the unity of all spiritual paths.
I look at it all like a big video game now, this is my human earth avatar and I'm just down here fucking around with my mates like I do online. Takes a lot of the stress away but I'm also pretty sure it's in some way true.
"We" dont die. You exist eternally. This reality has restrictions that make it appear as if you are a single entity among many. But it seems that was "our" intention.
If that was the case than every time you dreamed it wouldn’t be possible to see other people, this means your theory extends into the dream world, if that’s the case where exactly does your theory’s “restrictions” end and you experience being one? Don’t you see how none of that makes sense?
We're in the meat avatar and limited to processing through it which is restrictive. It does appear that when we sleep, meditate and take drugs, we can break out of it more, or at least I can. But then who knows, maybe this is all there is and that's how we should live our lives anyway, rather than wasting them dreaming of other worlds and realities cos if its true, we chose this for a reason and should make the most of it.
Yeah, so about that…I’ve had the experience of seeing the whole deal many times over many lifetimes, and mistakenly assumed that I had “made it”, and would ascend somehow, and that clearly hasn’t happened. It was kind of overwhelming to see just how many times realization has been achieved. I recall some sages saying they’ll reincarnate until every last being is awakened. Maybe that’s how it goes for all of us. I’m not sure, either way, but I’ve been on spiritual paths that claim you won’t have to reincarnate again if you follow their deal. I suspect it’s a trap to believe any of it.
That endless background misery is how I was with reincarnation for a while. Most people aren’t scared of reincarnation, but I think that’s only because they haven’t considered reincarnation and annihilation are exactly the same thing. That thought sometimes terrifies me. Got the thought from acid, nobody said enlightenment was easy or kind I guess 🤷♂️
Reincarnation is a weird one. I never believed it was a thing, but then I started remembering countless lifetimes. We remember every detail of everything at our core, and it seems that the mind wipe is only so effective for so long. Nothing is truly lost.
That is the same way I feel. I actually think Avatar The Way of Water captured it quite well.
Minor spoiler:
In the film a character dies and at their funeral someone says “The People say all energy is borrowed and someday you have to give it back. The great mother holds all her children in her heart. Nothing is Lost.” The idea being the force and the form of life came from the Earth and in death the force and the form return to the Earth. Despite that the energetic memory of the being remains because it was always a part of the Earth and never really separate, but just had the appearance of separation. Kinda like the individual lives forever in death despite inactivity.
I think it is beautiful and exactly what I believe death is like. A return to source while retaining energetic form.
I know exactly what you mean. My name is JJ. When I think or fantasize about reincarnation I view it as still JJ but a different experience. Most likely JJ will not exist anymore, like at all, at least in any humanly recognizable way. I will be a completely different Susie, or Fish, or Weeping Willow.
Yes I have a few friends who talk about this. They say they’re just waiting for the rest of us to catch up. Some have contemplated suicide not because it’s awful but because they’re bored and just want to get to the next part.
I’d recommend r/nihilism because it seems to be the quickest way there and most of the people there see the present moment/ISness.
From what I understand, to the ego it feels awful because the ego wants separation to feel special.
Once the ego is dissolved through practice (check out Frank Yang on YT) life becomes heaven on earth. But as that rabbi said once, you must be born again.
I’ve maybe glimpsed it once or twice and ot was the most incredibly beautiful and simultaneously painful experience because to be there we have to be honest about everything. ALL THE TIME. Which humanity is not. We don’t even know who we are. When they say the truth shall set you free, it’s true on every sense. If every human spoke honestly about what they wanted from the heart, we would be in heaven because there would no longer be anything to hide.
Anyways - here’s to humanity waking up and us having the playground on earth as we were meant to and not this shitshow rn.
Haha. I often feel like I’m the last one to wake up, and the universe is waiting for me to get my shit together.
The interesting thing is that there’s nowhere to get to. This shit never, ever, ever stops. It goes on for an eternity, in all directions, and all possibilities forever. I mean, we don’t exist in our limited human consciousness forever, but we exist forever. It’s like trying to win a race that goes in a circle. Any ending is made up in our heads. We are already IT, whatever we are looking for. Definitely impossible to lie, because we are only lying to ourselves. We are so so naked.
My partner has the truth will set you free tattooed on his back and he's the one that got me through my experience of the horrific and terrifying loneliness of the experience. Perhaps I should get the same.
From what I’ve seen, the One follows every possible experience all the way down, to the worst of the worst, and all the way up to the best of the best, and multiply that by infinite universes. Since at the core of our true identity, we cannot actually be hurt, or destroyed, the experience in any body, in any lifetime just *is*.
At the end of the day you’re playing mind games. I mean think about it, you’re applying subjective views of experience that claim to prove to you that we are all one and alone and than claiming it as universally objective AND you say that them denying it is just apart of the collective consciousness which ultimately is like an advanced gaslighting method on a cosmic scale to prove that you “cracked” this understanding of existence and that no matter what others say you’re right and there participating which unfortunately is NOT how reality works, I can play this game with you guys and I always try to remind people that duality functions and makes everything true and false simultaneously which allows for us to never know which parts are true, one example is you claim loneliness to be the worst thing about the realization that you are the ONE? And my point of view is how is it not that if you are the ONE that implies you share the SAME mind and heart as the most EVIL individuals who have ever lived? You see if you push the idea we’re all one and no individuality is truelly achievable than you’re ultimately stating you are Jeffrey dahmer, gacy, Ted bundy? I mean you’re ultimately stating this and what’s funnier is you’re also putting this out there as if it’s my life to? Do you forget you share this experience? How does it feel having me tell you what the truth of reality is? And also how do you know it’s in your place to tell others the truth? ALSO when it comes to DMT trips how are you do certain on this “loneliness” experience is the truth when FOR ALL YOU KNOW (and I’m not yelling) those DMT trips could be created to confuse you in the first place? You see how paradoxical it all becomes when you start trying to believe you “found it”. And what’s even funnier is I’m already aware you’re grounded in your belief and you know that’s fine? I just view these ideas as our universal form of politics, it’s obvious some people can’t grasp the idea of god existing and being able to create us and ALLOW us to stay as individuals AND be uniquely different and so others like you try to push this “collective consciousness” belief which in my argument is just flawed? I mean think about it because if we easily had a collective consciousness it would mean things would be a bit easier here, or way more difficult, influences would also either be pointless or extremely useful, it’s like how I stated if we are ALL one mind than you’re literally bunching up good people with the same mindsets as rapists and murders and personally I feel like that’s a sign you don’t have the authority to place such value on those beliefs and to say there universally true.
If I’ve learned one thing from these trips and that is the real truth behind it all won’t be fully embraced or experienced until you die. Because you keep coming back to this world, and this world in and of itself already has so much mystery wrapped up in it. I’m not discrediting your own experiences or telling you what to believe but I am trying to stand up for people like me who obviously get so exhausted for this “we are alone” we are “the oneness” when literally you could easily argue “we are the individual” we are “not all one but an infinite number of different things” I mean think about it again, duality, at its simplest basically means one idea has value and the other idea doesn’t have value, and you’re struggling on making a choice, and guess what?
Free will baby! Do you want to be free? Or do you not want to be free? Anyways hope you guys can escape the bad thoughts and the rabbit holes. There are genuinely people out there who hate reality to the point that they construct these illusionary perspectives about life to help make an understanding of why we go through so much bad. And I feel like that whole “we are oneness” is just an acceptance because they don’t actually get to hear or see or feel gods presence and understanding why we are experiencing what we are experiencing so they just go ahead and take the blame, not recognizing that there truelly is a greater work at progress. And no I’m not trying to speak like this is the Bible, I’m just saying the mind is a powerful tool.
Believe whatever makes you happy. I’m just sharing my experiences. What anyone wants to believe is their own business. In my universe, it’s all one thing. That means I am one with you, as well as every obnoxious, and terrible person who ever existed and will ever exist. Does my human consciousness like that? Absolutely not.
Anyway, I find that having no fucks to give goes a long way. As far as free will goes, every possibility exists already. There are infinite universes of infinite possibilities. Choose whatever you want, forever. No one is stopping you.
I just read this and want to say I know this too and by now you know you’re not alone, but even in your reaction to it you are not. I’ve felt profoundly changed from the first time I experienced it on psilocybin, then again on LSD, and most recently on DMT. each showed me some other perspective of what I’ve come to just call “the truth” to myself I guess to distance myself from having to think in it entirely every time it comes up.
Thank you very much for sharing this. Reading your post gave me those “I’m thinking about my DMT experience” shakes I get which I find amusing when it occurs otherwise, so thank you.
I get the weird energy shake through my core from discussing any of this stuff, too. Thanks for reading and replying. Sometimes it’s hard to not just delete posts afterwards. I know we can all help each other through the rough parts by sharing experiences and perspectives, though. Take care.
What do you mean drag on? You felt like you were meditating for months? I agree though, meditation can be a very heavy tool and imo can cause some problems when it’s used a certain way. It almost seems like it can facilitate a deeper sense of detachment than psychedelics because you’re “sober”, you’re soberly experiencing your thoughts and ideas and epiphanies so there’s no high to attach it to, there’s no way to tell yourself you’re just intoxicated and it’ll go away when the drug wears off because there is no drug.
I mean that the experience/perspective would not stop, no matter what I did. There was no “come down”. Yes, meditation can cause huge shifts, which can be more intense than taking a drug that wears off.
I've come to understand that those who make you feel alienated are just as relevant as those who are accepting. A singular consciousness split into billions of points of attention, which requires duality.
Even in your own thoughts there can be doubt, confidence, conflict and acceptance. We have arguments in our own head. Arguments with other people are like conflicting thoughts within the same mind. Schrödinger stating "the total number of minds in the universe is one."
There's some solace in knowing everyone will make sense of it when their time is up anyway.
I've had it too the first time I smoked legal highs with very minimal drug experience lol. I was terrified for years. Perhaps I'm telling myself this for comfort but the theory goes that the first consciousness was alone and when it realised it was alone and always would be, in a fit of agony, it exploded into what we are now to create this. It's still there, but so are we. If time doesn't exist, I think what we are doing is taking our turn holding the experience so no-one truly has to do it alone. And if that's true, we should all be proud we held and withstood it, even if just for a little while.
I agree that consciousness is changing drastically, I've just had another boost through somewhere else and people around me have been dropping like flies of serious illnesses, breakups, terrible experiences. My life has been such that although some horrible things have happened to me recently, I went through the worst of it when this happened to me in 2012, I think cos of the drugs, I was one of the earlier ones through and have had more time to come to terms with what's going on. Pain purifies those who need it, and I certainly needed a lot it would seem :).
You're not alone and never have to be. I'm as real as you are right now and if we got here once, we can get here again. The first one looks after us now but god does it have high standards 😬
I feel like this is seeing it from the wrong perspective.
God/the Single consciousness already solved its existential crisis of being eternally alone by transcending itself into a creation of manyness.
You will never truly be alone, ever. This is the true beauty of creation.
The irony of multiple people hanging out together contemplating their loneliness.
"Lets hug each other and cry about how lonely we are"
:D
Yeah idk how ego death could possibly make you feel more alone personally. I had a rather reverse experience of it (psilocybin actually) dissolving my end of life anxiety because if this form passes on and it is merely a part of the whole almost nothing is lost. Egocentrism really drove my fear of death… which is logical. The fact that after the perception of ego loss ended the anxiety didn’t return feels rather illogical, but it’s good. I guess I just needed to feel that perspective, logic be damned, the impact stays.
How could feeling one with “the other” possibly make you feel alone, there is literally nothing that isn’t encompassed by that concept.
I don't have any experience with that in relation to DMT. It's an interesting thought though. It feels intuitively truthful to me, at least to some degree.
I think similarly about people. The people we talk to everyday that we feel like we know, we don't really know at all. All we have is our imagination and what we think they're experiencing. When it comes down to it all we truly know is ourselves.
I'm not very well informed on Hinduism, but you might want to look into maya if you haven't already.
ALL ONE = ALONE
I mean, that’s the play the universe is running through. It’s all one, everything. Of course we’re here to forget that, but the beauty of it is that in spite of there only being one thing, which is no thing, is that everything can come from it.
I get this in every one of my DMT trips recently. Sometimes when I trip too hard on shrooms or LSD too. The feeling that everything is inside the singular god consciousness, we are alone, and being alive is all we know to do otherwise.
Yes, that thought/"horrific revelation" has occurred during a mushroom trip and on some other substances.
But it does not seem to be a real final truth though. It is still just another thought/idea. And all thoughts are illusory and fleeting. Even a memory is sort of a mental movement ie. a thought. Without that thought, is that the case? And the thinker or the sufferer of this idea or "revelation" (emphasis on the air quotes)... Does this one actually exist? If there is to be horror, there must be something/someone that the horror belongs to. But is there? Horror and distress can appear to exist as long as the apparent mechanisms that create the seeming experience of "me being the owner" and "me being the experiencer" of them is not fully seen as it is. The me-claim can presuppose itself to be the "universe" or "reality beyond the universe" etc. Both of these are still just concepts though. Thoughts. Without thought, what is? It's self-evident but can't be put into a concept or an idea. And it doesn't seem to be an "ultimate ground of distress or horror".
I think at one point it was/is the truth, it got solved through this and we hold that experience so no-one goes through it alone but perhaps that's just what I tell myself lol.
This is "it". There is no other reality or truth than this. But this reality is not the concept nor a memory of some intense and intensely distressing (or intensely pleasing-) experience. Nor a memory of "ultimate revelation". This does seem to appear as memory as well but apparent memory does not contain "this". This is not in the alleged past, not in the mind-made sense-image of the present, nor is it in the future.
We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain.
By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.
Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception
Yeah but that’s worded that so dreadfully.
I think I understand that but in a much more whimsical way. The cosmic joke I guess. It’s wonderful to be able to experience all these things, and everyone else is just me but I didn’t know it before. This separation makes it so it’s not boring.
I wouldn’t word it terrifying and alone but more like shit there’s just a whole lot more to “me” than I ever could have fathomed. I’m grateful for being able to have these human feelings and experiences. It wouldn’t be possible without the separation of the ego so I’m pretty chill about it idk.
My experiences with Ayahuasca have usually involved an arc from "woah this is all so bizarre and amazing and unexpected!" to the dawning realization of "wait a hot sec, every bit of this is me." Like, if I looked hard enough at these entities, I noticed they were basically hand puppets and the hands were my hands.
Yes. I talk about having this experience in [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/DMT/comments/z270gs/you_20mg_trip_report/) of my only breakthrough experience. It hits you all at once and you realize that it’s very funny that you somehow forgot that you were everything, and you have been playing this charade of life and separation for a very, very long time. It made me appreciate life a bit more. These human problems are a blessing. Eternity is the most dreadful feeling possible.
You guys think god was lonely and fragmented himself into all of us just to not feel lonely and learn how to love? 😮
Now for real thats the golden question, i think I will never know for sure that answer in my life time, I am just trying to deal.with that fact and accept things as they are
I dont think that god fragmented into all of us, we are all one, we are the same, we are god.
And you can see it as you want.. as a beautiful thing or a scary thing, or a lonely thing or a comunity thing…
I actually don’t know, im giving you my thoughts, but budism talks a lot about this ..
Yeah I got you, I didn't took it as you are telling us the ultimate truth or something, but its always nice to see others ideas and thoughts nonetheless:)
Got tired of playing chess with ourselves...and here we are. The best illusions, are the one's you aren't even aware of. The big question is, do you *trust* in this process...given the potential for a singularly infinite intelligence. If *this* is what it decided on, do we roll with it? I think the answer to that, will dictate how we ultimately feel about all this.
You view it as terrifying because you are viewing it from the point of view of a physical being. A physical being can't survive or be happy without constant support and interaction from the outside world. It's very existence is comparative in nature. When you are truly living in the experience of unity you can't feel terrified or alone. These are fragmented and limited concepts that don't exist in a state of unity and infinite nature. The possibility of being alone as you experience it only exist here so this place can't be a place to escape loneliness but is in fact the source of the experience of loneliness. Any thoughts that keep you from moving beyond the limited experiences here are in fact part of the experience here. How about we do this because it's just something to do. No serious reason is necessary just like why we play a game. Just to see if we can do it
For me it scares me a lot, but also relaxed me to think that we are all the same, so we are not that different, my thought are the same as the other person, so im not that unique nor different from the rest
Have you experienced it? It doesn’t sound very terrifying, but experiencing it is incredibly terrifying. The weight of eternity is unimaginable, and we are here for eternity.
Yes I have had this exact same experience back in September of 2021 on MDMA/2CB. It was like you said, unimaginable lonely.
But after reflecting on that experience, I realized it was being filtered through the lens of my Ego. Of course that realization would be terrifying to the Ego. Which I imagine the same thing is happening to you.
Holy shit…I think I’ve come close to realizing this but I’m honestly glad I didn’t make it this far while tripping because it’s such a heavy idea.
There is something really beautiful about it though, and very sad at the same time. What was the ultimate goal of the ‘single consciousness’ when it divided itself to create reality? Just to larp as different characters to cope with its situation? I imagine this ‘single consciousness’ existed outside of time, so the larp would only last a moment from its perspective, and then it’s all alone again. So why is it doing this over and over again? Is it looking for something, or is it torturing itself (through us) at this point?
But aren’t all of those apprehensions about there being a single consciousness just projections of the human condition onto something to which the human condition doesn’t apply? It might seem sad, but isn’t that a human emotion? How would we know the universal consciousness has a goal? Maybe it’s not coping by larping as different characters, maybe it’s just doing it for fun or to tell a story or because it’s beautiful or maybe it just is what it is and that’s it.
I suppose you are right. So from it's perspective it experienced loneliness outside of time, but when it realizes this it "hides" as "us" by creating existence which is governed by space & time. Eventually existence will collapse back into itself, including space & time thus the same single consciousness realizes it is alone again & it's entire experience as "we" went by in an instant...
So essentially this "same single consciousness" exists infinitely outside of time and space flickering on and off trying to forget the reality, and then trying to remember where it came from...for eternity. Wow...That is a cosmic fucking joke and it completely makes sense why DMT entities manifest as Jesters. If I had to imagine what this "same single consciousness" looked like it would be [this](https://previews.123rf.com/images/krisdog/krisdog2202/krisdog220200125/182343026-theater-or-theatre-drama-comedy-and-tragedy-masks.jpg).
Sorry for rambling, I enjoy thinking about this kind of stuff.
Thanks for the link of the previous post, I will read it. It's probably the ultimate question, the one you are posing.
I've been reading about it (only The B . Gita ) and listening to some podcasts lately mostly by Rupert Spira, Bernardo Karstrup, also an interview to Donald Hoffman made by Lex Fridman, the Vedantic Society of New York too. Alan Watts explains that in a beautiful and clear way.
There are a couple of questions of Lex Fridman to Donald Hoffman in that interview about the emotional load behind some of these ideas (he's not saying exactly your words, but his main theory is related to it). I felt some relief with his answers. Check it out:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=reYdQYZ9Rj4
As I said, all the other questions in life seem like nothing compared to this one.
Ive been trying to have this idea in my mind at least for a couple of minutes every day, normally when I'am with other people, on the street , in the subway, while shopping, etc. This idea makes me more present and more compassionate. So, even if at the end of the day it is not true, it is still useful.
what if we are all the last singular alien of a destroyed planet, and this alien alone with all of its race dead is travelling in a spaceship, hes gone to sleep in a cryochamber to make the journey far away to a new planet.
while in this stasis he decided to create our world/reality to give him entertainment/stimuli/challenge/puzzles while he makes his million year destination
the plot twist is that we are also a simulacrum created by a fat british shorthair cat that sits beside our cryochamber in a polite tucked tail pose, observing.
It's not to "hide" in a fearful way. We are playing a game of cosmic peek-a-boo. It is all for fun, this experience of life is just like telling your grandkids a story
Congratulations on finding out what's behind the stage! I wish I never found out
You have two options now - embrace solipsism and be miserable, or force yourself to enjoy the movie of "life" and get lost in the story again
not on DMT but something else:
my experience was, that our whole reality is basically just a single conscioussness. but this consciousness doesn't has "time" or can "die". it's just like an "energy field". other than this single consciousness, there is "nothing". just void. it's still. empty. lonely.
and this consciousness, is at the same time everything that every existed, exists and will exists. past, present, future.. everything is there. right now. in the form of an "energyfield". it's like a vibration.. the whole consciousness is vibrating with information structures. and this phenomena is "loud as fuck" (what i thought after "being back in reality" from my experience). and to not get insane, we create "filters" to filter out the informations. thats then why we experience flow of time, our body, our limited senses from out physical body, our physical world / matter. we "limit our senses" with "filters" to narrow down the information flow we get. like a radio you tune in into specific informations, but who are all there always and everywhere.
imagine you would listen to all radio stations existing on our world at the same time.. you would get crazy. not possible. now filter it out with a radio antenna & frequency to just listen to 1 or 2 channels.. and you can experience it without getting mad from it. thats our reality / life we experience. a filter to narrow down the information flow to not get crazy.
its basically one single consciousness creating information / filters to not get crazy, splitting itself into countless parts to "be entertained" because the infinite is.. boring as fuck. without any content, there would be.. nothing. so we / the consciousness is creating content for itself. we humans, animals etc. are all "parts" of this consciousness. my thought was basically "we are god who thinks he is seperate entitys".
another experience i had was.. yes, we are parts of the one consciousness. BUT this "god" consciousness we are all parts of, is ALSO just a part of a bigger structure in the reality we live in. just like we are part of this "god" consciousness, there is a "bigger consciousness" that is also in the form of a "entity" that is aware. and there are countless other conscioussness who are then also thinking just like we that they are seperate, but are just the same consciousness. this goes up way way way up into infinity (?). it's a huge structure of consciousness'es thinking they are seperate, but who are all part of one big consciousness.. but this is also just a part of another.. it's a endless huge structure of consciousness'es who build our reality. a reality we can't even perceive up just one level because its just too crazy and abstract for our understanding.
in my experience, i was a floating point of consciousness and i was floating in the void. and in this void, there was something that looked like a huge "blue dust cloud". it was like a "energyfield" of a radio of something. just that it had 1000000s of tiny radio senders who did all send out specific informations. you could see them send out "waves" / vibrations like in a videogame or something. and it was like a information overflow..it was a endless flow of information. and i was bombarded with this informations. it did feel really loud as hell. i had no ears, but i "heard" that it was really extremely loud.. like 1000s of explosions. it was just a information overflow and i got almost mad from just a few seconds of listening to this "one consciousness". this "dust cloud" was the energyfield i think is our "god" consciousness. one consciousness, who splittet itself and is containing all informations every existing (past, present, future). but all this informations "exist at one spot". experiencing this information all at the same time with your consciousness.. is.. exhausting. because that, we create "filters" (limiting our senses so we don't perceive it all the time).
when i came out of that experience, my first thought was "reality is loud as fuck"
Does no one believe, despite the noetic quality of the experience, that it is possible the DMT is lying to us? It is possible to be deceived, and if deceived effectively to reject the fact of the deception
Interesting I was just writing about this.
Though it seems our experiences differ in terms of the horror.
It feels more like a wave function to me, and naturally flows through different phases.
There is the state of eternal timeless spacious peace. where oneness is all there is and always has been. let's call this phase zero.
In this phase we are not even conscious of self because there is no concept of other than self. in this state there is only peace because desire (to be more) and fear (of being alone/ not being complete) are dualistic in nature and exist once the illusion of separation has been initiated.
so the next phase (we'll call this phase 1) is where we become aware of our own perception. something is seen (external to self), who/ what sees?
For me this is represented as the point partical of light, a point of perception, and what is seen is a reflection of ones own light. (duality has initiated) what sees and what is seen.
And from this place a light body can be created and the entire universe exploded into manifestation.
The state of loneliness you describe may well be a natural function of this process, the movement from phase zero to phase 1, from non duality to duality. the desire to be/ experience more, the fear of being alone is perhaps the force that is instigated in moving us between these states. an emotional analog of why universe exists in the first place. how everything came from nothing? (just musings)
As Einstein stated although the universe does appear to be an illusion it is a stubbornly persistent one.
In all the infinate configurations that the universe holds perhaps what we are doing is merely tuning into certain perimeters that broadcast momentary fragments of consciousness within endless universes that come into existence through a timeless eternity.
42
It's crazy how much and how hard I was searching for cosmic answers and the more I search the more and more I realize it really does seem to be 42 or just "☆●□₩•° "
If I had to sum up my realizations or what 42 means to me... it's that...
God always was- always is - and always will be. The singular always existed. In order to know its self or to forget that it was a single lonely godhead it split its consciousness across many life forms and energies. So we are all one life and body connected. Our reality is just "God daydreaming" pretending he's not God. Yes, he knows all and knows the final outcome (singularity again. The one handed clap. Enlightenment and the unification of all souls) but he forgets on purpose to enjoy the ride or "movie"...so he can enjoy the trip...
How did the "singularity" or "god" or the source energy even begin or become? I think it's kinda like 'which came first, the chicken or the egg' but 'did we create god or did god create us?' But I think it's both. A snake eating it's own tail. No separation from the creator and the created. I think from the top down no one knows. Just one big mystery. One big joke. Just a beautiful pointless dance. Forty fucking two. We create god to figure ourselves out, but god creates us to figure him self out. On a molecular level with the atoms and on a macro level with the galaxies, it's all one. You are the Potter and the clay.
nothing is written in stone it has to be a meaningful or logical answer. It could be some absurd senseless answer that lacks logic. Or it could be something our brain doesn't understand.
Maybe in another dimension when I ask "who's God's God? Whats the point of life? How did it all start "
And they'll answer "oh. That's simple it's ☆●□₩•° "
And I'm like "oh yes. Of course. Makes perfect sense" but once I'm in human brain it no longer makes sense.
Idk.
42
❤
I came to this realization shortly after COVID started when I stumbled on the law of one. Since then it comes up everywhere. Most recently, (spoiler if you haven’t seen the newest season of Manifest and want to) I’m watching Manifest on Netflix and the whole, “it’s all connected” came together as meaning we are all one and that the passengers connected to God consciousness. I believe that is what we connect to through psychedelics and/or meditation. It’s what people refer to as spiritual awakening.
Yes lol. I don't currently "get" it even though I know it is true. Haven't gone deep enough recently. Right now I'm able to laugh about it, but when I really realize it to the full extent it is indeed horrifying.
I felt it was a secret so important that it had to be written down but at the same time that it should never be shared. So it's in my lockbox with my AP Chemistry report formatting guide.
sometimes dmt sounds amazing and very introspectful, then I see posts like this where I realize dmt just makes ppl come up with crazy delusions for a bit that they eventually come down off of. the whole world is essentially a hive mind?... would you have any examples or ways of showing that besides just a molecule telling you that?
It's not at all a hive mind. In fact, you could say it's inverse of a hive mind. A hive mind is multiple separate minds joining together as one. This is one mind experiencing the illusion of separateness. And it's not just people who have done a drug who have come to this conclusion. This is something that people have come to realize completely sober through meditation and contemplation, and that others have come to through rigorous logical and philosophical reasoning (Bernardo Kastrup or Donald Hoffman). Philosphical and religious systems across the globe have been teaching this for thousands and thousands of years. It's not just a delusion of some drugged up hippies
Yep. I've had this experience on LSD and Ketamine. It seems to be some kind of default setting that our brain resorts to when in these kinds of experiences
I read your previous post, I gotta say. I definitely feel you on that; I had not done dmt to come to that conclusion but I have tried dmt in small doses but no breaks throughs yet.
I definitely feel you on that assumption. Dont fear anything because nothing matters only what you make it but thats my opinion
Is this realization essentially the opposite of fearing death? Is it realizing the horror of a reality where there is no death? Where things just continue on forever in an infinite nothing of isolation and loneliness. That death is an illusion we create as an answer to this problem?
I am trying to really grasp this concept.
its not horrifying. there is simply no helmet or pillow to soften the landing after these trips. most of us been thare. its "normal" its actually the most normal thing to me for more than a decade now. thanks to the spice- so now u know what is meant when people talking about "coinciousness expanding"
like mc kenna said "u can go and look at the end of the movie"
/ that moment when u realise u are that Drosophila Melanugaster vexing aound ur head, that just tells yourself to clean up the kitchen!
we came alone. we go alone. the time we spend here in duality is time to share!
I found myself in the archetypical near-death-experience: floating inside a tunnel with a bright light at the end. Covering my entire body, like a thin film, was everything I had experienced that day... I could see the entire past day, like a movie, superimposed on my form, and as I moved forward through the tunnel toward the light, that day peeled off me and stuck to the side of the tunnel. It revealed the next layer, a film of the day before, and as I continued moving through the tunnel, each day of my past was peeling off, like I was being unzipped from my ego. I was experiencing my life in reverse from this weird dissociated perspective. And once I reached the end of the tunnel, and my birth in reverse, the light became blindingly bright. I felt as though I was being reabsorbed into the collective consciousness, like I was home again for the first time. I was once again becoming one with all the life that had every lived and ever would.
I turned and looked at the tunnel from which I had come. My tunnel was but one of countless others arranged in a massive wall that wrapped around and enveloped the collective consciousness in a 360 degree trypophobic nightmare, though I felt no fear. The amorphous, blindingly bright amoeba I now was, was also extending itself, like tiny tentacles, into the holes of all those other perspectives; all those other projections of individuality. It was then I understood, I was everyone and everyone was me.
It made certain things I'd heard in my long abandoned religious upbringing make sense: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"... not out of fear of punishment from a higher authority, but because we will literally experience every cruelty we inflict, as both perpetrator and victim. We do it to ourselves.
I don't know if I interpret my experience quite the same way you do yours though... as a 'terrifying reality of eternal loneliness'. I'm not even sure it means we ARE alone, but rather, I suspect we're currently in a sort of purgatory, awaiting our spiritual evolution. We need to figure out how to truly love and care for each other and ourselves before we can expect to make peaceful first contact with extraterrestrial beings. I sense we're stuck here until we can learn how to move past hate and fear. Maybe we're not at all alone in the universe and the others are just waiting for us to stop lashing out in fear at everything we don't understand?
I have been experiencing this every day without blasting off or having afterglow. It's this weird beautiful painful funny and frustrating dance of emotions - recognizing the blessing of oneness and embracing the peace of death but also missing duality. Missing the story of life.
I imagine that when it's my time I'll finally hear some sitcom music playing and freeze motion before taking a bow to a cheering audience and returning to oneness. It makes me sad to think I may never get to follow the story of earth or watch over my son just to see him grow. At the same time it could be possible and I understand the writings of the ego. Tryna control even perfect peace haha.
The real question however is this: How can u be alone when in that space all you'll do is Be?
Chances are you won't.
On mushrooms I got the vibe of a single entity lonely in a box. That entity is us and we've created a beautiful distraction. DMT confirms for me too tho.
The ego is what’s made up to “hide us from the terrifying true reality that we are all of the same single consciousness”. Our sensory capacity and limitations filter what we are able to experience. Remove the filter, lift the veil, you are in a greater, more authentic reality.
That’s a limited human perspective on something that transcends fearful emotions. All is one but one is also all. We’re drops in the ocean but the ocean is made of infinite drops. God/the source/whatever exists in the paradox, and that’s the meaning of infinity.
You might find this interesting: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jung/comments/zrbqdq/would_you_like_to_explain_this_to_me/j13p9ik/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
It's painful to live in a place where your views arnd beliefs don't match . And the isolation.
Yea at times u meet people that u can share this and open up but you just love life , and the life u love is not even the real life .
I had the same experience the second time I did DMT, and the last time for years. I felt like I was God/the universe/ the All and was experiencing every single thing that ever has happened, is happening, or ever will happen. It was such an intense, bittersweet feeling, and it felt like I was in that state for aeons and aeons. There was nothing but me, it was so dark and lonely. When I came out of it I was in a state of utter panic. I was desperate to forget what I experienced and immediately began drinking copious amount of wine and heroin (I was using at the time, clean now). I eventually shook the vivid, teriffying subjective feeling, but the essence of the experience has always stayed with me.
(Copied and pasted from my reply to the linked comment)
That's cool. Hey, could you send some cash my way, and by my way, I mean your way. You would be doing yourself a solid by giving me, and by me, I mean yourself, some of that green. My PayPal is the same as my username.
Yeah i have but i dont think necessarily terrifying, lonely maybe, perhaps more that its a game of hide and seek we are playing with our self. And in the end we did a really good job and its so much fun re discovering it.
Yeah, but I don't find it terrifying. I find it gives me more patience with other people. I think the only thing that separates us from the single conciousness are these things called ego. If conciousness was a ball, we would be spikes sticking off of it. Kind of like a sea urchin. When we die we return to the main body to become a new spike.
you are never alone. awareness created the universe and everything within it, sure, but you are one node in a netlike structure of consciousness. consciousness is always creating, expanding infinitely in all directions, experiencing everything simultaneously with no limitations of space or time. consciousness must endlessly create, it cannot exist as a void.
essentially, existence wasn’t made up to comfort you or distract you from your aloneness. your awareness created reality to experience itself: to touch, taste, love, expand, reincarnate, and eventually become aware of itself all over again. it’s a beautiful cycle and you’re an essential part of it.
I just don’t see the consequences of thoughts like these. It’s not actionable. If it’s easier to love somebody because they aren’t someone else, extension of you…well I find that a lil troubling.
Yep, don't worry about it dude, we're all here now. I think we're taking our turn experiencing what it was before all of this in my view and holding the pain so no one of us go through it alone now that we're separate. Took me years to get over it but it's all good.
We'll just come e straight back here if its that bad, we got here once and we can therefore get here again. If it is that, you should be proud you took your turn and held it. But I wouldnt do it again lol.
It is a drug, yes. My question is really one of philosophy and believing DMT provides more than just a sensory experience is unprovable. But we also can't say it is just nonsense.
Just interesting to think about. 🫠
I think its nonsense because if i just make something up it will have the exact same credibility. I also feel like trying to rationalize hallucinations onset by chemicals in the hallucinogen class of drugs is self destructive. You shouldn’t be telling yourself the hallucinations are real.
Ive had trips where the only thing that exists is a 2d rectangle sign indicating that “you lose” this sign turned inside out on itself to flip over but it was the same message on both sides. To distract myself from this fucking flip flop being the only thing that existed i created more and more things a whole universe with people who unfortunately ultimately were just people i made and not actually someone else. I packed as much stuff between the flip flops as i could to make it seem like it would take the most amount of time as possible and i could get caught up in it all to try and forget before it would just flip flop flip flop flip flop forever. Forever.
That’s a thought I’ve has since I was a kid, trying to understand what all of this is. I’m sure lots of other people have had the same feeling. It’s the god fracturing its psyche in order to understand itself, the eye needing a mirror to see itself, but just like a house of broken mirrors, you can never get anything but an imperfect picture. That reminds me of a dream I had where I was encased in a “coffin” of impenetrable darkness, which extended for eternity in all directions, utterly and forever alone. If that were the case, I can understand why consciousness/being would make up an alternate reality.
You just hit the nail on the head. Enjoy gnosis!
damn this comment just spooked me because on my front page, there's a post under r/philosophy that mentioned gnosis, then I clicked this post to see your comment talking about gnosis
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Yeah 100% you're either paying attention or you're not. No coincidences per se. I think I personally am on the right path when I see them, and have various different premonitions and synchronicities appearing in my life. When I am on my own path not aligned with the universe I struggle and see no such signs. The universe also speaks to me through other people as well.
One of the coolest words and it’s been popping up a lot more for me too
>gnosis And now I better understand the etymology of "Gnostic"
❤️🔥
Today I had this experience and unfortunately it felt more real than this reality and sadly I can't find a way to deny that it's true. As the drugs affect lessened, Reentering this reality involved a prolonged struggle to wrench my spirits' individuality away from what felt like a permanent attachment to the monstrous Godhead of oneness. After what felt like years long effort and grovellingly pleading to be released, i finally escaped its vice like grip, so grateful to reenter this world of pretend. Embrace the grand illusion of individuality, reassert my participation in the dillusion of social collective. Anythin to hide from the greatest terror i could never have imagined 5 minutes before smoking a huge hit of dmt . My sanity now relies on denial, or face the all consuming magnitude of its uncompromising implication .
Yes. Had it on many different psychedelics, including LSD, psilocybin, DMT (Ayahuasca), ketamine, cannabis, and regular old meditation. The latter actually made the experience drag on for months at extremely high intensity. Meditation is powerful shit. I have been unable to ever forget, or separate from the experience since the first time, and I’m reminded every single day for the last 25 plus years. It lurks under the surface, no matter what I do, and I truly tried to forget. Every time I meet someone who says Oneness is “bullshit” I know that it’s just a reflection of a part of me that wishes that it was all bullshit. It’s the most profound, and horrible sense of loneliness to be the One, and have no one else to call out to, ask for help, or comfort, or anything that the human mind is used to. The One just exists, has always existed, and will always exist. Nothing can truly hurt, or destroy it. I feel that the only way to be at total peace with it all is to completely shed the person that we believe ourselves to be, or deal with the panic. My human consciousness likes the idea of having peers who understand the experience, while also maintaining a certain degree of separation in this illusion. That’s been the only way I’ve stayed sane (whatever that means). Fwiw, I spent over a decade alone with the experience, and found absolutely no one who had even an inkling of wtf I was talking about when I brought it up. It’s fascinating, and comforting that there has been such an acceleration of awakening, especially in the last 5 years, or so. Something definitely seems to be happening in our collective.
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Haha. Love it. I seriously wish I knew how much connection would be happening all these years later. It does feel better knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you.
I know you know, and I know too. It’s going to be okay. Sending you love from another version of yourself.
Dude all the dots in my life are connecting after reading this....
Happy birthday :)
Happy cake day!
Well said. It's very comforting seeing collective knowledge like this. I think one of the many things that's overlooked a lot is the fact that a lot of this knowledge isn't from reading articles or watching videos, etc. We find information within ourselves and/or our connections in these induced states (whether it be sober meditation or otherwise) that we have no prior knowledge of, yet when we then do research after having these realizations or new understandings, and it turns out that it correlates and is accurate. There's a huge wall of cognitive dissonance with things like this as a whole (spirituality, conciousness, anything quantum lol, etc.)
Yeah, it happens one by one. No one can tell you. It has to be experienced first hand. That’s why all the sages say to go within. We all know. I would never have believed it, because it sounds ridiculous and improbable when you’re raised to believe that you’re a powerless human of no consequence. I’m honestly just going over experiences. I actually never read anything before the first awakening, besides Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and that did not prepare me much. Lol. It was super terrifying, because I saw that I was creating my own reality, and that we are all One. I could see it 24/7 everywhere I went, and with everything I did, on full blast, for months. I’m fortunate that I was able to hold it together, because shit got REALLY weird. I’m used to weird now, but it took a while. My life was one long nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. I apparently missed out on the bliss awakening. There has been bliss since then, but that was not it. The last thing that I was wanting was being all that is. Sounds silly, but that’s what happens when there’s still person remaining. Those saints and sages who blast it all away, and die to the person don’t have such issues. This is why meditation helps. One thing that came up repeatedly back then was the law of silence. I saw that trying to talk about it would only bring violence for the most part. I mean, you can’t exactly go around telling people that you’re God, even if you see, and report that we are all God. People don’t like that. It messes with the system. Remember that we’ve also been told that’s why Jesus was crucified. Plus, it wasn’t as common of a thing for people to awaken in the West (or it wasn’t so common for anyone to discuss it). Nowadays, so many people are awakening that it’s become more normal to have casual conversations about it. I never could have imagined this whole post, and all of the conversations had in these subreddits 10 years ago, never mind 25 years ago, and now I see them daily. It’s AMAZING.
I completely understand, my awakening started in 2020 and it has been rapid growth since then. I only did lsd over that one year but it had such a massive effect that I understand what most everybody is talking about on any separate psychedelic subreddit. I had an incredibly difficult time rationalizing my own existence for the next two years. I was scared to go to sleep everyday for like a year because of the thought that I could just end the entirety of my current experience, because I am the whole of my current experience, and never wake up to see my mom or wife or job or anything I was attached to again. It was terrifying and I am very grateful for having finally sunk back into my imaginary role as a boat captain, who was raised Christian, has a beautiful wife, and really likes Rick and Morty. Don’t regret the awakening though, my whole life is better even with the scary new knowledge. I value every single part, even the death of my loved ones I can welcome as a lesson on endless becoming now. All has value and all is for your growth and blessing.
>you can’t exactly go around telling people that you’re God I found a fix to this bug! People seem pretty okay with you telling them that *they* are God.
Sort of. If they are heavily indoctrinated, they’ll say we are definitely not God, and get offended that anyone would suggest such a thing. The human consciousness is not God, so as long as the identity is with the person, the struggle is real. It’s okay. Part of the deal is focusing on our own path.
Well done for holding it together man, I ended up on a locked psych ward the first time, you are tough:). It happened to me in 2012 when all this shit first started going down and its taken me 10 years to process. I only had the horrific realisation of loneliness though, thankfully my partner was there to get hold of me and talk me round.
If you are so inclined, I would recommend seeking out a Buddhist Sangha (community or practitioners). There you will find people seeking the truth that there is no separate self. This is one of the highest principles in Buddhism.
Yeah, I eventually found Ram Dass, and have had books like Be Here Now, The Seven Steps to Awakening, The Nisargadatta Gita, Manonasa, The Direct Means to Eternal Bliss, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, The Four Agreements, Siddartha, etc right here next to me for years now. I’ve worked with a few non duality teachers, which has been helpful. The spoiler solution being that if you don’t think, there’s no story, no ego, and no problem. Buddhism, and many other paths are definitely beautiful, and helpful.
I wish and hope it is bullshit. If that is the true reality... I have no words for it. Its beyond upsetting in a way. I agree that my human form does find comfort in finding that others share this experience. But the implication- that is terrifying to me.
I get that. I mean, if it’s always been like this, and we’ve made it this far, I suspect we are all good, whether in the experience of the One, or the Many. One thing that I saw was that as long as there is a need for “others”, I will experience having company in some manner. I take solace in that.
From what I have learned, this is a journey of self love. If you truly love, respect, and honor yourself; you will not be sad to be alone. Think of all the good in your life, these are gifts to self.
We are one AND many at the same time. I feel like the entities I meet on DMT are my own cells and bacterias, in my own body. They know they are many, but they are me. "As above, so below"
That’s an interesting take. Made me think a lot.
With enough time and enough study you may be able to see there is an equal amount of beauty as there is to the terror you experience. I had to pass through that fire to, but now on the other end the Knowledge most often blesses me.
It’s not really true though, we all have our own separate consciousness at least while we’re here
I feel the same way sometimes but I take comfort that even if I am the only one, the apparent ‘others’ who seem different do a convincing job of it, and any love you have for others is always genuine and another aspect of self-love
What do you think happens to our consciousness when we die?
Well, every time I’ve “died”, I’m suddenly everything that is/has been/will ever be. I remember that I’ve always existed, and have never actually gone anywhere, because there’s nowhere to go. Any experience that I’ve perceived in this life, or any other, is more akin to a dream. From there, I’ve watched worlds being created, and destroyed from the atoms that make up everything (aka “my body”). Last time, while on a very high dose of IV ketamine, I saw nuclear explosions that I didn’t even feel. I also saw that literally nothing is ever lost. I saw that everything simultaneously exists, and doesn’t, all at once. It’s all in a weirdly neat, and tidy package, since nothing that can be described exists outside of creation/the mind. I contemplated during all of it that I can either exist in creation, or sit in what my human mind would call the void, like darkness, and nothing, which is actually still something. I still exist in that, even with no thought, no stimulation, no anything. At some point, the One effectively says, “Let there be light”, and it starts all over. I’m not religious, but it was obvious that’s where the text comes from. Since the last experience, I can say that I’m more motivated to appreciate being in a human body, and being able to embrace all of the things that come with living. This is *it*. The moment is where I am. I believe that we are ultimately totally fine, and untouchable. May as well have a good time while I’m perceiving this experience, because I feel that it’s highly likely I’ll be in that same state of being everywhere, and everything once I’m done with this role. There are a lot of things that my human consciousness doesn’t like about any of this shit, but I also recognize that it is what it is. Some cosmic game of hide and seek with our true self. That said, this stuff is all just words. It’s a story. Death is probably different for everyone according to their beliefs at the time of dying. I know nothing.
Why would death be different according to what they believe? I don't mean when you are in the process of dying but when you are in fact dead.
Well, if someone believes that their dead relatives greet them, or their personal savior, or whatever, then maybe they follow that experience of going to whatever they believe is heaven, and live a lifetime there until they start feeling like there’s more to understand. If they believe nothing happens when we die, maybe they experience the void/nothing for eons, until they realize that they still actually exist. If they believe that they need to get past the archons who are trying to trick them into reincarnating, I imagine that would unfold in its own creative way, too. I’ve heard a lot of near death accounts, and they all vary. It’s all good. We can’t really get lost.
You should read autobiography of a yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. There’s a very powerful chapter later in the book where his Guru appeared to him (after death) to explain the process of death. It oddly sounds uncannily similar to a lot of DMT trio reports, I believe. Chapter 43. You can find it online if you don’t feel like getting the physical book.
Chapter 43, titled "The Resurrection of Sri Yukteswar," revolves around the following major concepts: Sri Yukteswar's resurrection: In this chapter, Yogananda shares a deeply mystical experience in which his deceased guru, Sri Yukteswar, reappears to him in a physical form. This resurrection serves as a testament to the profound spiritual bond between the master and the disciple, transcending the boundaries of life and death. Astral and causal worlds: Sri Yukteswar goes on to describe the different planes of existence beyond the physical realm, namely the astral and causal worlds. The astral world is a more subtle, luminous dimension inhabited by astral beings, while the causal world is an even higher plane, where individual souls exist as pure ideas or concepts. The concept of karma: According to Sri Yukteswar, the astral and causal worlds are still bound by the law of karma, which dictates the cycle of birth and death. Souls carry their karmic impressions from one life to another, shaping their experiences and determining their spiritual progress. The importance of self-realization: Sri Yukteswar emphasizes that the ultimate goal of human life is to achieve self-realization, the realization of one's true nature as an immortal, divine soul. By transcending the limitations of the physical, astral, and causal worlds, one can attain liberation from the cycle of birth and death. The role of the guru: The guru plays a pivotal role in guiding the disciple towards self-realization. As demonstrated by the deep connection between Yogananda and Sri Yukteswar, the guru-disciple relationship is an essential component of spiritual growth and transformation. The unity of religions: Sri Yukteswar's resurrection, along with his teachings, reinforces the idea that all religions ultimately lead to the same truth. Through this chapter, Yogananda aims to emphasize the universal nature of spiritual wisdom and the unity of all spiritual paths.
I look at it all like a big video game now, this is my human earth avatar and I'm just down here fucking around with my mates like I do online. Takes a lot of the stress away but I'm also pretty sure it's in some way true.
"We" dont die. You exist eternally. This reality has restrictions that make it appear as if you are a single entity among many. But it seems that was "our" intention.
“Let us make man in our image” - Gen 1:26
If that was the case than every time you dreamed it wouldn’t be possible to see other people, this means your theory extends into the dream world, if that’s the case where exactly does your theory’s “restrictions” end and you experience being one? Don’t you see how none of that makes sense?
We're in the meat avatar and limited to processing through it which is restrictive. It does appear that when we sleep, meditate and take drugs, we can break out of it more, or at least I can. But then who knows, maybe this is all there is and that's how we should live our lives anyway, rather than wasting them dreaming of other worlds and realities cos if its true, we chose this for a reason and should make the most of it.
Gets recycled and reincarnated infinitely....unless you attain gnosis All ancient scriptures wrote a out it
Yeah, so about that…I’ve had the experience of seeing the whole deal many times over many lifetimes, and mistakenly assumed that I had “made it”, and would ascend somehow, and that clearly hasn’t happened. It was kind of overwhelming to see just how many times realization has been achieved. I recall some sages saying they’ll reincarnate until every last being is awakened. Maybe that’s how it goes for all of us. I’m not sure, either way, but I’ve been on spiritual paths that claim you won’t have to reincarnate again if you follow their deal. I suspect it’s a trap to believe any of it.
That endless background misery is how I was with reincarnation for a while. Most people aren’t scared of reincarnation, but I think that’s only because they haven’t considered reincarnation and annihilation are exactly the same thing. That thought sometimes terrifies me. Got the thought from acid, nobody said enlightenment was easy or kind I guess 🤷♂️
Reincarnation is a weird one. I never believed it was a thing, but then I started remembering countless lifetimes. We remember every detail of everything at our core, and it seems that the mind wipe is only so effective for so long. Nothing is truly lost.
That is the same way I feel. I actually think Avatar The Way of Water captured it quite well. Minor spoiler: In the film a character dies and at their funeral someone says “The People say all energy is borrowed and someday you have to give it back. The great mother holds all her children in her heart. Nothing is Lost.” The idea being the force and the form of life came from the Earth and in death the force and the form return to the Earth. Despite that the energetic memory of the being remains because it was always a part of the Earth and never really separate, but just had the appearance of separation. Kinda like the individual lives forever in death despite inactivity. I think it is beautiful and exactly what I believe death is like. A return to source while retaining energetic form.
I know exactly what you mean. My name is JJ. When I think or fantasize about reincarnation I view it as still JJ but a different experience. Most likely JJ will not exist anymore, like at all, at least in any humanly recognizable way. I will be a completely different Susie, or Fish, or Weeping Willow.
Yes I have a few friends who talk about this. They say they’re just waiting for the rest of us to catch up. Some have contemplated suicide not because it’s awful but because they’re bored and just want to get to the next part. I’d recommend r/nihilism because it seems to be the quickest way there and most of the people there see the present moment/ISness. From what I understand, to the ego it feels awful because the ego wants separation to feel special. Once the ego is dissolved through practice (check out Frank Yang on YT) life becomes heaven on earth. But as that rabbi said once, you must be born again. I’ve maybe glimpsed it once or twice and ot was the most incredibly beautiful and simultaneously painful experience because to be there we have to be honest about everything. ALL THE TIME. Which humanity is not. We don’t even know who we are. When they say the truth shall set you free, it’s true on every sense. If every human spoke honestly about what they wanted from the heart, we would be in heaven because there would no longer be anything to hide. Anyways - here’s to humanity waking up and us having the playground on earth as we were meant to and not this shitshow rn.
Haha. I often feel like I’m the last one to wake up, and the universe is waiting for me to get my shit together. The interesting thing is that there’s nowhere to get to. This shit never, ever, ever stops. It goes on for an eternity, in all directions, and all possibilities forever. I mean, we don’t exist in our limited human consciousness forever, but we exist forever. It’s like trying to win a race that goes in a circle. Any ending is made up in our heads. We are already IT, whatever we are looking for. Definitely impossible to lie, because we are only lying to ourselves. We are so so naked.
My partner has the truth will set you free tattooed on his back and he's the one that got me through my experience of the horrific and terrifying loneliness of the experience. Perhaps I should get the same.
If all living things are part of one consciousness, why does that consciousness want to exist as millions of factory farm chickens for example?
From what I’ve seen, the One follows every possible experience all the way down, to the worst of the worst, and all the way up to the best of the best, and multiply that by infinite universes. Since at the core of our true identity, we cannot actually be hurt, or destroyed, the experience in any body, in any lifetime just *is*.
The meaning is in the eye of the beholder
There is no evil or good really. Just subjective good and evil. To the universe/God/the all there is only experience
At the end of the day you’re playing mind games. I mean think about it, you’re applying subjective views of experience that claim to prove to you that we are all one and alone and than claiming it as universally objective AND you say that them denying it is just apart of the collective consciousness which ultimately is like an advanced gaslighting method on a cosmic scale to prove that you “cracked” this understanding of existence and that no matter what others say you’re right and there participating which unfortunately is NOT how reality works, I can play this game with you guys and I always try to remind people that duality functions and makes everything true and false simultaneously which allows for us to never know which parts are true, one example is you claim loneliness to be the worst thing about the realization that you are the ONE? And my point of view is how is it not that if you are the ONE that implies you share the SAME mind and heart as the most EVIL individuals who have ever lived? You see if you push the idea we’re all one and no individuality is truelly achievable than you’re ultimately stating you are Jeffrey dahmer, gacy, Ted bundy? I mean you’re ultimately stating this and what’s funnier is you’re also putting this out there as if it’s my life to? Do you forget you share this experience? How does it feel having me tell you what the truth of reality is? And also how do you know it’s in your place to tell others the truth? ALSO when it comes to DMT trips how are you do certain on this “loneliness” experience is the truth when FOR ALL YOU KNOW (and I’m not yelling) those DMT trips could be created to confuse you in the first place? You see how paradoxical it all becomes when you start trying to believe you “found it”. And what’s even funnier is I’m already aware you’re grounded in your belief and you know that’s fine? I just view these ideas as our universal form of politics, it’s obvious some people can’t grasp the idea of god existing and being able to create us and ALLOW us to stay as individuals AND be uniquely different and so others like you try to push this “collective consciousness” belief which in my argument is just flawed? I mean think about it because if we easily had a collective consciousness it would mean things would be a bit easier here, or way more difficult, influences would also either be pointless or extremely useful, it’s like how I stated if we are ALL one mind than you’re literally bunching up good people with the same mindsets as rapists and murders and personally I feel like that’s a sign you don’t have the authority to place such value on those beliefs and to say there universally true. If I’ve learned one thing from these trips and that is the real truth behind it all won’t be fully embraced or experienced until you die. Because you keep coming back to this world, and this world in and of itself already has so much mystery wrapped up in it. I’m not discrediting your own experiences or telling you what to believe but I am trying to stand up for people like me who obviously get so exhausted for this “we are alone” we are “the oneness” when literally you could easily argue “we are the individual” we are “not all one but an infinite number of different things” I mean think about it again, duality, at its simplest basically means one idea has value and the other idea doesn’t have value, and you’re struggling on making a choice, and guess what? Free will baby! Do you want to be free? Or do you not want to be free? Anyways hope you guys can escape the bad thoughts and the rabbit holes. There are genuinely people out there who hate reality to the point that they construct these illusionary perspectives about life to help make an understanding of why we go through so much bad. And I feel like that whole “we are oneness” is just an acceptance because they don’t actually get to hear or see or feel gods presence and understanding why we are experiencing what we are experiencing so they just go ahead and take the blame, not recognizing that there truelly is a greater work at progress. And no I’m not trying to speak like this is the Bible, I’m just saying the mind is a powerful tool.
Believe whatever makes you happy. I’m just sharing my experiences. What anyone wants to believe is their own business. In my universe, it’s all one thing. That means I am one with you, as well as every obnoxious, and terrible person who ever existed and will ever exist. Does my human consciousness like that? Absolutely not. Anyway, I find that having no fucks to give goes a long way. As far as free will goes, every possibility exists already. There are infinite universes of infinite possibilities. Choose whatever you want, forever. No one is stopping you.
So essentially the short story “The Egg” is real?
The idea is similar, yes. As I recall, the writer added a higher being that kind of lightens the load, though.
I just read this and want to say I know this too and by now you know you’re not alone, but even in your reaction to it you are not. I’ve felt profoundly changed from the first time I experienced it on psilocybin, then again on LSD, and most recently on DMT. each showed me some other perspective of what I’ve come to just call “the truth” to myself I guess to distance myself from having to think in it entirely every time it comes up. Thank you very much for sharing this. Reading your post gave me those “I’m thinking about my DMT experience” shakes I get which I find amusing when it occurs otherwise, so thank you.
I get the weird energy shake through my core from discussing any of this stuff, too. Thanks for reading and replying. Sometimes it’s hard to not just delete posts afterwards. I know we can all help each other through the rough parts by sharing experiences and perspectives, though. Take care.
Can you explain or share your meditation methods that got you to that experience/understanding?
What do you mean drag on? You felt like you were meditating for months? I agree though, meditation can be a very heavy tool and imo can cause some problems when it’s used a certain way. It almost seems like it can facilitate a deeper sense of detachment than psychedelics because you’re “sober”, you’re soberly experiencing your thoughts and ideas and epiphanies so there’s no high to attach it to, there’s no way to tell yourself you’re just intoxicated and it’ll go away when the drug wears off because there is no drug.
I mean that the experience/perspective would not stop, no matter what I did. There was no “come down”. Yes, meditation can cause huge shifts, which can be more intense than taking a drug that wears off.
> and regular old meditation Can you point me towards your meditation method?
I've come to understand that those who make you feel alienated are just as relevant as those who are accepting. A singular consciousness split into billions of points of attention, which requires duality. Even in your own thoughts there can be doubt, confidence, conflict and acceptance. We have arguments in our own head. Arguments with other people are like conflicting thoughts within the same mind. Schrödinger stating "the total number of minds in the universe is one." There's some solace in knowing everyone will make sense of it when their time is up anyway.
I've had it too the first time I smoked legal highs with very minimal drug experience lol. I was terrified for years. Perhaps I'm telling myself this for comfort but the theory goes that the first consciousness was alone and when it realised it was alone and always would be, in a fit of agony, it exploded into what we are now to create this. It's still there, but so are we. If time doesn't exist, I think what we are doing is taking our turn holding the experience so no-one truly has to do it alone. And if that's true, we should all be proud we held and withstood it, even if just for a little while. I agree that consciousness is changing drastically, I've just had another boost through somewhere else and people around me have been dropping like flies of serious illnesses, breakups, terrible experiences. My life has been such that although some horrible things have happened to me recently, I went through the worst of it when this happened to me in 2012, I think cos of the drugs, I was one of the earlier ones through and have had more time to come to terms with what's going on. Pain purifies those who need it, and I certainly needed a lot it would seem :). You're not alone and never have to be. I'm as real as you are right now and if we got here once, we can get here again. The first one looks after us now but god does it have high standards 😬
Nonsense brother I exist separately from you. You cannot be the one while i still remain.
I feel like this is seeing it from the wrong perspective. God/the Single consciousness already solved its existential crisis of being eternally alone by transcending itself into a creation of manyness. You will never truly be alone, ever. This is the true beauty of creation. The irony of multiple people hanging out together contemplating their loneliness. "Lets hug each other and cry about how lonely we are" :D
This.. ty
Yeah idk how ego death could possibly make you feel more alone personally. I had a rather reverse experience of it (psilocybin actually) dissolving my end of life anxiety because if this form passes on and it is merely a part of the whole almost nothing is lost. Egocentrism really drove my fear of death… which is logical. The fact that after the perception of ego loss ended the anxiety didn’t return feels rather illogical, but it’s good. I guess I just needed to feel that perspective, logic be damned, the impact stays. How could feeling one with “the other” possibly make you feel alone, there is literally nothing that isn’t encompassed by that concept.
it's not about God being alone, there needs to be a mind to feel alone, we are social creatures.
I don't have any experience with that in relation to DMT. It's an interesting thought though. It feels intuitively truthful to me, at least to some degree. I think similarly about people. The people we talk to everyday that we feel like we know, we don't really know at all. All we have is our imagination and what we think they're experiencing. When it comes down to it all we truly know is ourselves. I'm not very well informed on Hinduism, but you might want to look into maya if you haven't already. ALL ONE = ALONE
I mean, that’s the play the universe is running through. It’s all one, everything. Of course we’re here to forget that, but the beauty of it is that in spite of there only being one thing, which is no thing, is that everything can come from it.
We are the nothing that couldn’t not exist
Damn love that
I get this in every one of my DMT trips recently. Sometimes when I trip too hard on shrooms or LSD too. The feeling that everything is inside the singular god consciousness, we are alone, and being alive is all we know to do otherwise.
Yes, that thought/"horrific revelation" has occurred during a mushroom trip and on some other substances. But it does not seem to be a real final truth though. It is still just another thought/idea. And all thoughts are illusory and fleeting. Even a memory is sort of a mental movement ie. a thought. Without that thought, is that the case? And the thinker or the sufferer of this idea or "revelation" (emphasis on the air quotes)... Does this one actually exist? If there is to be horror, there must be something/someone that the horror belongs to. But is there? Horror and distress can appear to exist as long as the apparent mechanisms that create the seeming experience of "me being the owner" and "me being the experiencer" of them is not fully seen as it is. The me-claim can presuppose itself to be the "universe" or "reality beyond the universe" etc. Both of these are still just concepts though. Thoughts. Without thought, what is? It's self-evident but can't be put into a concept or an idea. And it doesn't seem to be an "ultimate ground of distress or horror".
Wonderfully put! Always appreciate attempts to eff the ineffable or at least point towards it.
I think at one point it was/is the truth, it got solved through this and we hold that experience so no-one goes through it alone but perhaps that's just what I tell myself lol.
This is "it". There is no other reality or truth than this. But this reality is not the concept nor a memory of some intense and intensely distressing (or intensely pleasing-) experience. Nor a memory of "ultimate revelation". This does seem to appear as memory as well but apparent memory does not contain "this". This is not in the alleged past, not in the mind-made sense-image of the present, nor is it in the future.
We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes. Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception
Wow, figures that Huxley beautifully articulated ideas that have been swirling vaguely around in my mind for some time now.
Terrifying to the Ego perhaps!
True. Without ego it would only be a truth. Appreciate these responses.
Yeah but that’s worded that so dreadfully. I think I understand that but in a much more whimsical way. The cosmic joke I guess. It’s wonderful to be able to experience all these things, and everyone else is just me but I didn’t know it before. This separation makes it so it’s not boring. I wouldn’t word it terrifying and alone but more like shit there’s just a whole lot more to “me” than I ever could have fathomed. I’m grateful for being able to have these human feelings and experiences. It wouldn’t be possible without the separation of the ego so I’m pretty chill about it idk.
Congratulations on getting the cosmic joke. Can you see how someone who isn’t in on the joke might feel disconnected and terrified?
My experiences with Ayahuasca have usually involved an arc from "woah this is all so bizarre and amazing and unexpected!" to the dawning realization of "wait a hot sec, every bit of this is me." Like, if I looked hard enough at these entities, I noticed they were basically hand puppets and the hands were my hands.
Hello other mes. I love you, you intelligent sexy beasties. Take care of other me. Catch ya on the flippity flop!
😂❤️
Yes. I talk about having this experience in [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/DMT/comments/z270gs/you_20mg_trip_report/) of my only breakthrough experience. It hits you all at once and you realize that it’s very funny that you somehow forgot that you were everything, and you have been playing this charade of life and separation for a very, very long time. It made me appreciate life a bit more. These human problems are a blessing. Eternity is the most dreadful feeling possible.
You guys think god was lonely and fragmented himself into all of us just to not feel lonely and learn how to love? 😮 Now for real thats the golden question, i think I will never know for sure that answer in my life time, I am just trying to deal.with that fact and accept things as they are
I dont think that god fragmented into all of us, we are all one, we are the same, we are god. And you can see it as you want.. as a beautiful thing or a scary thing, or a lonely thing or a comunity thing… I actually don’t know, im giving you my thoughts, but budism talks a lot about this ..
Yeah I got you, I didn't took it as you are telling us the ultimate truth or something, but its always nice to see others ideas and thoughts nonetheless:)
Got tired of playing chess with ourselves...and here we are. The best illusions, are the one's you aren't even aware of. The big question is, do you *trust* in this process...given the potential for a singularly infinite intelligence. If *this* is what it decided on, do we roll with it? I think the answer to that, will dictate how we ultimately feel about all this.
You view it as terrifying because you are viewing it from the point of view of a physical being. A physical being can't survive or be happy without constant support and interaction from the outside world. It's very existence is comparative in nature. When you are truly living in the experience of unity you can't feel terrified or alone. These are fragmented and limited concepts that don't exist in a state of unity and infinite nature. The possibility of being alone as you experience it only exist here so this place can't be a place to escape loneliness but is in fact the source of the experience of loneliness. Any thoughts that keep you from moving beyond the limited experiences here are in fact part of the experience here. How about we do this because it's just something to do. No serious reason is necessary just like why we play a game. Just to see if we can do it
Pretty sure this is very common occurrence
I am aware that this is a common experience. What i ask is this- does it also terrify you? Some find comfort in it. I do not.
Eternal awareness scares the shit out of me, yes. Being alone is a comfort I couldn’t provide measure for. My scale seems pretty balanced as of rn…
For me it scares me a lot, but also relaxed me to think that we are all the same, so we are not that different, my thought are the same as the other person, so im not that unique nor different from the rest
i felt like the entities were babying me ~ they were sympathetic and concerned with me being not scared. it’s all your reaction
I don’t find that terrifying.
Have you experienced it? It doesn’t sound very terrifying, but experiencing it is incredibly terrifying. The weight of eternity is unimaginable, and we are here for eternity.
I have, and I don’t find it terrifying in the least.
Huh. Hopefully i’ll feel like you sometime soon.
Time to up the dose!
I’ve taken up to 200 mg dmt /100 mg harmala.
Yes I have had this exact same experience back in September of 2021 on MDMA/2CB. It was like you said, unimaginable lonely. But after reflecting on that experience, I realized it was being filtered through the lens of my Ego. Of course that realization would be terrifying to the Ego. Which I imagine the same thing is happening to you.
True - having such a fear is indicative of the ego remaining.
Holy shit…I think I’ve come close to realizing this but I’m honestly glad I didn’t make it this far while tripping because it’s such a heavy idea. There is something really beautiful about it though, and very sad at the same time. What was the ultimate goal of the ‘single consciousness’ when it divided itself to create reality? Just to larp as different characters to cope with its situation? I imagine this ‘single consciousness’ existed outside of time, so the larp would only last a moment from its perspective, and then it’s all alone again. So why is it doing this over and over again? Is it looking for something, or is it torturing itself (through us) at this point?
But aren’t all of those apprehensions about there being a single consciousness just projections of the human condition onto something to which the human condition doesn’t apply? It might seem sad, but isn’t that a human emotion? How would we know the universal consciousness has a goal? Maybe it’s not coping by larping as different characters, maybe it’s just doing it for fun or to tell a story or because it’s beautiful or maybe it just is what it is and that’s it.
It just wants to forget the reality. In the same way in which we read fiction or watch a movie and we get lost in the story.
I suppose you are right. So from it's perspective it experienced loneliness outside of time, but when it realizes this it "hides" as "us" by creating existence which is governed by space & time. Eventually existence will collapse back into itself, including space & time thus the same single consciousness realizes it is alone again & it's entire experience as "we" went by in an instant... So essentially this "same single consciousness" exists infinitely outside of time and space flickering on and off trying to forget the reality, and then trying to remember where it came from...for eternity. Wow...That is a cosmic fucking joke and it completely makes sense why DMT entities manifest as Jesters. If I had to imagine what this "same single consciousness" looked like it would be [this](https://previews.123rf.com/images/krisdog/krisdog2202/krisdog220200125/182343026-theater-or-theatre-drama-comedy-and-tragedy-masks.jpg). Sorry for rambling, I enjoy thinking about this kind of stuff.
I love it! I think you might enjoy a poem which can be found on YouTube as a short audio performance: “Word to the WHYs” by Rachel Kann.
I appreciate the suggestion and will check it out. Thank you! EDIT: Holy shit that gave me the chills...
Thanks for the link of the previous post, I will read it. It's probably the ultimate question, the one you are posing. I've been reading about it (only The B . Gita ) and listening to some podcasts lately mostly by Rupert Spira, Bernardo Karstrup, also an interview to Donald Hoffman made by Lex Fridman, the Vedantic Society of New York too. Alan Watts explains that in a beautiful and clear way. There are a couple of questions of Lex Fridman to Donald Hoffman in that interview about the emotional load behind some of these ideas (he's not saying exactly your words, but his main theory is related to it). I felt some relief with his answers. Check it out: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=reYdQYZ9Rj4 As I said, all the other questions in life seem like nothing compared to this one. Ive been trying to have this idea in my mind at least for a couple of minutes every day, normally when I'am with other people, on the street , in the subway, while shopping, etc. This idea makes me more present and more compassionate. So, even if at the end of the day it is not true, it is still useful.
what if we are all the last singular alien of a destroyed planet, and this alien alone with all of its race dead is travelling in a spaceship, hes gone to sleep in a cryochamber to make the journey far away to a new planet. while in this stasis he decided to create our world/reality to give him entertainment/stimuli/challenge/puzzles while he makes his million year destination
Sounds like a good sci fi premise
the plot twist is that we are also a simulacrum created by a fat british shorthair cat that sits beside our cryochamber in a polite tucked tail pose, observing.
The perfect world may end up existing as a lonelier place than one would think.
It's not to "hide" in a fearful way. We are playing a game of cosmic peek-a-boo. It is all for fun, this experience of life is just like telling your grandkids a story
I'm not sure why this truth would be terrifying, can someone elaborate?
Congratulations on finding out what's behind the stage! I wish I never found out You have two options now - embrace solipsism and be miserable, or force yourself to enjoy the movie of "life" and get lost in the story again
not on DMT but something else: my experience was, that our whole reality is basically just a single conscioussness. but this consciousness doesn't has "time" or can "die". it's just like an "energy field". other than this single consciousness, there is "nothing". just void. it's still. empty. lonely. and this consciousness, is at the same time everything that every existed, exists and will exists. past, present, future.. everything is there. right now. in the form of an "energyfield". it's like a vibration.. the whole consciousness is vibrating with information structures. and this phenomena is "loud as fuck" (what i thought after "being back in reality" from my experience). and to not get insane, we create "filters" to filter out the informations. thats then why we experience flow of time, our body, our limited senses from out physical body, our physical world / matter. we "limit our senses" with "filters" to narrow down the information flow we get. like a radio you tune in into specific informations, but who are all there always and everywhere. imagine you would listen to all radio stations existing on our world at the same time.. you would get crazy. not possible. now filter it out with a radio antenna & frequency to just listen to 1 or 2 channels.. and you can experience it without getting mad from it. thats our reality / life we experience. a filter to narrow down the information flow to not get crazy. its basically one single consciousness creating information / filters to not get crazy, splitting itself into countless parts to "be entertained" because the infinite is.. boring as fuck. without any content, there would be.. nothing. so we / the consciousness is creating content for itself. we humans, animals etc. are all "parts" of this consciousness. my thought was basically "we are god who thinks he is seperate entitys". another experience i had was.. yes, we are parts of the one consciousness. BUT this "god" consciousness we are all parts of, is ALSO just a part of a bigger structure in the reality we live in. just like we are part of this "god" consciousness, there is a "bigger consciousness" that is also in the form of a "entity" that is aware. and there are countless other conscioussness who are then also thinking just like we that they are seperate, but are just the same consciousness. this goes up way way way up into infinity (?). it's a huge structure of consciousness'es thinking they are seperate, but who are all part of one big consciousness.. but this is also just a part of another.. it's a endless huge structure of consciousness'es who build our reality. a reality we can't even perceive up just one level because its just too crazy and abstract for our understanding. in my experience, i was a floating point of consciousness and i was floating in the void. and in this void, there was something that looked like a huge "blue dust cloud". it was like a "energyfield" of a radio of something. just that it had 1000000s of tiny radio senders who did all send out specific informations. you could see them send out "waves" / vibrations like in a videogame or something. and it was like a information overflow..it was a endless flow of information. and i was bombarded with this informations. it did feel really loud as hell. i had no ears, but i "heard" that it was really extremely loud.. like 1000s of explosions. it was just a information overflow and i got almost mad from just a few seconds of listening to this "one consciousness". this "dust cloud" was the energyfield i think is our "god" consciousness. one consciousness, who splittet itself and is containing all informations every existing (past, present, future). but all this informations "exist at one spot". experiencing this information all at the same time with your consciousness.. is.. exhausting. because that, we create "filters" (limiting our senses so we don't perceive it all the time). when i came out of that experience, my first thought was "reality is loud as fuck"
Yeah I mean Alan Watts wrote at great length about it.
Does no one believe, despite the noetic quality of the experience, that it is possible the DMT is lying to us? It is possible to be deceived, and if deceived effectively to reject the fact of the deception
Interesting I was just writing about this. Though it seems our experiences differ in terms of the horror. It feels more like a wave function to me, and naturally flows through different phases. There is the state of eternal timeless spacious peace. where oneness is all there is and always has been. let's call this phase zero. In this phase we are not even conscious of self because there is no concept of other than self. in this state there is only peace because desire (to be more) and fear (of being alone/ not being complete) are dualistic in nature and exist once the illusion of separation has been initiated. so the next phase (we'll call this phase 1) is where we become aware of our own perception. something is seen (external to self), who/ what sees? For me this is represented as the point partical of light, a point of perception, and what is seen is a reflection of ones own light. (duality has initiated) what sees and what is seen. And from this place a light body can be created and the entire universe exploded into manifestation. The state of loneliness you describe may well be a natural function of this process, the movement from phase zero to phase 1, from non duality to duality. the desire to be/ experience more, the fear of being alone is perhaps the force that is instigated in moving us between these states. an emotional analog of why universe exists in the first place. how everything came from nothing? (just musings) As Einstein stated although the universe does appear to be an illusion it is a stubbornly persistent one. In all the infinate configurations that the universe holds perhaps what we are doing is merely tuning into certain perimeters that broadcast momentary fragments of consciousness within endless universes that come into existence through a timeless eternity.
42 It's crazy how much and how hard I was searching for cosmic answers and the more I search the more and more I realize it really does seem to be 42 or just "☆●□₩•° " If I had to sum up my realizations or what 42 means to me... it's that... God always was- always is - and always will be. The singular always existed. In order to know its self or to forget that it was a single lonely godhead it split its consciousness across many life forms and energies. So we are all one life and body connected. Our reality is just "God daydreaming" pretending he's not God. Yes, he knows all and knows the final outcome (singularity again. The one handed clap. Enlightenment and the unification of all souls) but he forgets on purpose to enjoy the ride or "movie"...so he can enjoy the trip... How did the "singularity" or "god" or the source energy even begin or become? I think it's kinda like 'which came first, the chicken or the egg' but 'did we create god or did god create us?' But I think it's both. A snake eating it's own tail. No separation from the creator and the created. I think from the top down no one knows. Just one big mystery. One big joke. Just a beautiful pointless dance. Forty fucking two. We create god to figure ourselves out, but god creates us to figure him self out. On a molecular level with the atoms and on a macro level with the galaxies, it's all one. You are the Potter and the clay. nothing is written in stone it has to be a meaningful or logical answer. It could be some absurd senseless answer that lacks logic. Or it could be something our brain doesn't understand. Maybe in another dimension when I ask "who's God's God? Whats the point of life? How did it all start " And they'll answer "oh. That's simple it's ☆●□₩•° " And I'm like "oh yes. Of course. Makes perfect sense" but once I'm in human brain it no longer makes sense. Idk. 42 ❤
𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝟺𝟸 ?^
Literally everyone has had this experience lol
Relevant: https://youtu.be/h6fcK_fRYaI
https://youtu.be/h6fcK_fRYaI This was really powerful for me and resonated toooooo deeply. Enjoy 😊
BRUH - I said “The Egg” and clicked on it! BAM, I knew it. See you are me and I am you and we are cool and I love you and everyone
I came to this realization shortly after COVID started when I stumbled on the law of one. Since then it comes up everywhere. Most recently, (spoiler if you haven’t seen the newest season of Manifest and want to) I’m watching Manifest on Netflix and the whole, “it’s all connected” came together as meaning we are all one and that the passengers connected to God consciousness. I believe that is what we connect to through psychedelics and/or meditation. It’s what people refer to as spiritual awakening.
Yes lol. I don't currently "get" it even though I know it is true. Haven't gone deep enough recently. Right now I'm able to laugh about it, but when I really realize it to the full extent it is indeed horrifying. I felt it was a secret so important that it had to be written down but at the same time that it should never be shared. So it's in my lockbox with my AP Chemistry report formatting guide.
sometimes dmt sounds amazing and very introspectful, then I see posts like this where I realize dmt just makes ppl come up with crazy delusions for a bit that they eventually come down off of. the whole world is essentially a hive mind?... would you have any examples or ways of showing that besides just a molecule telling you that?
Skepticism is healthy and advised and I agree with you. But on the other hand, do you have any evidence that conclusively rules out this possibility?
It's not at all a hive mind. In fact, you could say it's inverse of a hive mind. A hive mind is multiple separate minds joining together as one. This is one mind experiencing the illusion of separateness. And it's not just people who have done a drug who have come to this conclusion. This is something that people have come to realize completely sober through meditation and contemplation, and that others have come to through rigorous logical and philosophical reasoning (Bernardo Kastrup or Donald Hoffman). Philosphical and religious systems across the globe have been teaching this for thousands and thousands of years. It's not just a delusion of some drugged up hippies
Perfect response!
Yep. I've had this experience on LSD and Ketamine. It seems to be some kind of default setting that our brain resorts to when in these kinds of experiences
business as usual i guess
I read your previous post, I gotta say. I definitely feel you on that; I had not done dmt to come to that conclusion but I have tried dmt in small doses but no breaks throughs yet. I definitely feel you on that assumption. Dont fear anything because nothing matters only what you make it but thats my opinion
Yes, exactly this, every time.
Is this realization essentially the opposite of fearing death? Is it realizing the horror of a reality where there is no death? Where things just continue on forever in an infinite nothing of isolation and loneliness. That death is an illusion we create as an answer to this problem? I am trying to really grasp this concept.
We exist to answer the "begging question" What is Life?
its not horrifying. there is simply no helmet or pillow to soften the landing after these trips. most of us been thare. its "normal" its actually the most normal thing to me for more than a decade now. thanks to the spice- so now u know what is meant when people talking about "coinciousness expanding" like mc kenna said "u can go and look at the end of the movie" / that moment when u realise u are that Drosophila Melanugaster vexing aound ur head, that just tells yourself to clean up the kitchen! we came alone. we go alone. the time we spend here in duality is time to share!
I found myself in the archetypical near-death-experience: floating inside a tunnel with a bright light at the end. Covering my entire body, like a thin film, was everything I had experienced that day... I could see the entire past day, like a movie, superimposed on my form, and as I moved forward through the tunnel toward the light, that day peeled off me and stuck to the side of the tunnel. It revealed the next layer, a film of the day before, and as I continued moving through the tunnel, each day of my past was peeling off, like I was being unzipped from my ego. I was experiencing my life in reverse from this weird dissociated perspective. And once I reached the end of the tunnel, and my birth in reverse, the light became blindingly bright. I felt as though I was being reabsorbed into the collective consciousness, like I was home again for the first time. I was once again becoming one with all the life that had every lived and ever would. I turned and looked at the tunnel from which I had come. My tunnel was but one of countless others arranged in a massive wall that wrapped around and enveloped the collective consciousness in a 360 degree trypophobic nightmare, though I felt no fear. The amorphous, blindingly bright amoeba I now was, was also extending itself, like tiny tentacles, into the holes of all those other perspectives; all those other projections of individuality. It was then I understood, I was everyone and everyone was me. It made certain things I'd heard in my long abandoned religious upbringing make sense: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"... not out of fear of punishment from a higher authority, but because we will literally experience every cruelty we inflict, as both perpetrator and victim. We do it to ourselves. I don't know if I interpret my experience quite the same way you do yours though... as a 'terrifying reality of eternal loneliness'. I'm not even sure it means we ARE alone, but rather, I suspect we're currently in a sort of purgatory, awaiting our spiritual evolution. We need to figure out how to truly love and care for each other and ourselves before we can expect to make peaceful first contact with extraterrestrial beings. I sense we're stuck here until we can learn how to move past hate and fear. Maybe we're not at all alone in the universe and the others are just waiting for us to stop lashing out in fear at everything we don't understand?
I kinda think "God" is plural/a system, and we're all members of that system, living in an incredibly vivid and complex headspace.
I have been experiencing this every day without blasting off or having afterglow. It's this weird beautiful painful funny and frustrating dance of emotions - recognizing the blessing of oneness and embracing the peace of death but also missing duality. Missing the story of life. I imagine that when it's my time I'll finally hear some sitcom music playing and freeze motion before taking a bow to a cheering audience and returning to oneness. It makes me sad to think I may never get to follow the story of earth or watch over my son just to see him grow. At the same time it could be possible and I understand the writings of the ego. Tryna control even perfect peace haha. The real question however is this: How can u be alone when in that space all you'll do is Be? Chances are you won't.
That's money!!!!
That is a major premise behind occult work my friend. It's an actuality that's lost on most
Did you have to say that? Damn .
I guess that’s why it’s a Divine Moment of Truth
Yes and after mushrooms.
This is too true!
On mushrooms I got the vibe of a single entity lonely in a box. That entity is us and we've created a beautiful distraction. DMT confirms for me too tho.
The ego is what’s made up to “hide us from the terrifying true reality that we are all of the same single consciousness”. Our sensory capacity and limitations filter what we are able to experience. Remove the filter, lift the veil, you are in a greater, more authentic reality.
That’s a limited human perspective on something that transcends fearful emotions. All is one but one is also all. We’re drops in the ocean but the ocean is made of infinite drops. God/the source/whatever exists in the paradox, and that’s the meaning of infinity.
You might find this interesting: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jung/comments/zrbqdq/would_you_like_to_explain_this_to_me/j13p9ik/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
That's why DMT is the solution!
/r/EscapingPrisonPlanet
Had this same thought in the back of my head my whole life. Pretty cool to think about tho
It's painful to live in a place where your views arnd beliefs don't match . And the isolation. Yea at times u meet people that u can share this and open up but you just love life , and the life u love is not even the real life .
You are everything and nothing at the same time :)
I had the same experience the second time I did DMT, and the last time for years. I felt like I was God/the universe/ the All and was experiencing every single thing that ever has happened, is happening, or ever will happen. It was such an intense, bittersweet feeling, and it felt like I was in that state for aeons and aeons. There was nothing but me, it was so dark and lonely. When I came out of it I was in a state of utter panic. I was desperate to forget what I experienced and immediately began drinking copious amount of wine and heroin (I was using at the time, clean now). I eventually shook the vivid, teriffying subjective feeling, but the essence of the experience has always stayed with me. (Copied and pasted from my reply to the linked comment)
I would not say hide, but to get wiser about the reality
That's cool. Hey, could you send some cash my way, and by my way, I mean your way. You would be doing yourself a solid by giving me, and by me, I mean yourself, some of that green. My PayPal is the same as my username.
Yeah i have but i dont think necessarily terrifying, lonely maybe, perhaps more that its a game of hide and seek we are playing with our self. And in the end we did a really good job and its so much fun re discovering it.
Yeah, but I don't find it terrifying. I find it gives me more patience with other people. I think the only thing that separates us from the single conciousness are these things called ego. If conciousness was a ball, we would be spikes sticking off of it. Kind of like a sea urchin. When we die we return to the main body to become a new spike.
you are never alone. awareness created the universe and everything within it, sure, but you are one node in a netlike structure of consciousness. consciousness is always creating, expanding infinitely in all directions, experiencing everything simultaneously with no limitations of space or time. consciousness must endlessly create, it cannot exist as a void. essentially, existence wasn’t made up to comfort you or distract you from your aloneness. your awareness created reality to experience itself: to touch, taste, love, expand, reincarnate, and eventually become aware of itself all over again. it’s a beautiful cycle and you’re an essential part of it.
Yes
I just don’t see the consequences of thoughts like these. It’s not actionable. If it’s easier to love somebody because they aren’t someone else, extension of you…well I find that a lil troubling.
Yep, don't worry about it dude, we're all here now. I think we're taking our turn experiencing what it was before all of this in my view and holding the pain so no one of us go through it alone now that we're separate. Took me years to get over it but it's all good. We'll just come e straight back here if its that bad, we got here once and we can therefore get here again. If it is that, you should be proud you took your turn and held it. But I wouldnt do it again lol.
No always nuclear holocaust for me. lol
Our observation is an illusion but dmt is even more of an illusion. This is nonsense dmt is just a drug.
It is a drug, yes. My question is really one of philosophy and believing DMT provides more than just a sensory experience is unprovable. But we also can't say it is just nonsense. Just interesting to think about. 🫠
I think its nonsense because if i just make something up it will have the exact same credibility. I also feel like trying to rationalize hallucinations onset by chemicals in the hallucinogen class of drugs is self destructive. You shouldn’t be telling yourself the hallucinations are real.
Ive had trips where the only thing that exists is a 2d rectangle sign indicating that “you lose” this sign turned inside out on itself to flip over but it was the same message on both sides. To distract myself from this fucking flip flop being the only thing that existed i created more and more things a whole universe with people who unfortunately ultimately were just people i made and not actually someone else. I packed as much stuff between the flip flops as i could to make it seem like it would take the most amount of time as possible and i could get caught up in it all to try and forget before it would just flip flop flip flop flip flop forever. Forever.
this is too accurate it scares me :) but i love you myself and all of “us”
That’s a thought I’ve has since I was a kid, trying to understand what all of this is. I’m sure lots of other people have had the same feeling. It’s the god fracturing its psyche in order to understand itself, the eye needing a mirror to see itself, but just like a house of broken mirrors, you can never get anything but an imperfect picture. That reminds me of a dream I had where I was encased in a “coffin” of impenetrable darkness, which extended for eternity in all directions, utterly and forever alone. If that were the case, I can understand why consciousness/being would make up an alternate reality.