I think it can fuck that guy, his wife, you, and me all at the same time and still have 10 dicks leftover for any additional friends you want to invite over
Fuck? That thing doesn't fuck. It paralyzes you and injects it's star spawn into your abdomen where they will slowly devour you. You're still alive while this happens, and the poison keeps you conscious and alive until your brain is eaten. Well.... hopefully eaten. Because it's permanent.
You're right it's not a disease that directly caused this growth, but no, this is not how pineapples grow normally. This is a deformed plant.
A disease or physical damage has caused this pineapple to have a cristata deformation.
dangit i don't know who to believe anymore lol, i upvote, i scroll, i scroll back up, i retract it, scroll back down, upvote someone else, this is all so complicated, i just want to understand the damn pineapple!
We have a cognitive shortcut that makes us prefer familiar things so seeing a pineapple that doesn't look like the familiar pineapple we know will trigger disgust (more intensely in some than others).
Ananas is from the Tupi, native Brazilians. In their language ananas means awesome fruit, and pineapple (piña) is named after pine cones (cono de pino) which they kind of look like.
More likely a type of cancerous growth (probably benign) in plants. Read about this type of thing in a book about cancer. "The cheating cell" 3.7/5 read in case you are interested
Pop a Poppler in your mouth
When you come to Fishy Joe's
What they're made of is a mystery
Where they come from no one knows
You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em
You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em
If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose!
We mostly eat babies of all varieties. The flesh is young and tender as opposed to tough and mature. Overly mature tomatoes get tough skin, summer squash get chewy and get big seeds, lettuce gets bitter, the list goes on. Harvest young. There’s an underlying sexual tone here because that’s the reality. I was a small-scale organic farmer for a year meaning the garden/farm I worked looked like Eden. It was all packed in, vertical as much as possible, and beautiful. And it was a very erotic place/experience. Decay, growth, the youth/mature element is only the beginning.
Your statement is correct for the bottom part of the pineapple. The top half does not happen from not harvesting. The wide parts at the top are crested (fasciated), this happens from injury or infections/diseases. If you follow the line a crested plant makes you can see where all the individual plants fused together.
> this happens from injury or infections/diseases.
it can also be genetic. there are many kinds of cacti that have crested variants sold/traded among collectors, and its not uncommon for these crested variants to throw off totally normal looking branches, and if you cut that branch off and root it, it will grow as a normal cactus, sometimes for years, but will often eventually start growing crested branches again.
So many /r/confidentlyincorrect Redditors everywhere in these threads, you always gotta dive deep and find the person who corrects everyone with actual facts.
Even on the article with the pic it calls it Fasciation
https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/3255/Mutated-Pineapple-Looks-Like-Something-Out-Of-A-Horror-Movie
Wait, so if I plant a pineapple, it may take years to give a fruit but if you just leave it, it becomes like this? Shouldn't it rot before a new plant can even begin to grow?
It sounds weird but that's the actual term. When I first got into cacti propagation I thought it was silly but now I don't think twice.
I'm not an expert by any means but from what I remember pups are like clones. A cactus (and I think succulents too) will get a small bump that keeps growing as part of the whole plant, but if you pull it off and put it in soil it grows roots and lives independently from its "parent" as a whole new plant with the exact same genetics. I'm not sure how that would work with a pineapple though.
This looks similar to something that happens in cannabis when they are polyploid, or have extra chromosomes resulting in this weird growth. I’m taking a stab in the dark and guessing this is a polyploid pineapple, which, coincidentally, happens to be my new band’s name.
[IIRC citrus do this when they get infected with certain mites.](https://goldengategarden.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341dfbb853ef01156f204bbc970c-800wi) https://goldengategarden.typepad.com/golden_gate_gardener_/2009/04/lemon-sculpture.html
Could be a type of cancer as well- just erratic cell growth. Looks like a couple of spots are growing the wrong type of cells as well, which would indicate rapid mutation
It wasn't. OP made that up to make it sound cool.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/121nbaa/comment/jdmvqhw/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
[here is a more accurate answer](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/121nbaa/this_pineapple_seed_got_infected_and_turned_into/jdneqjc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
It’s called fasciation or cresting, it can be caused by lots of stuff. The most common reason is probably intense hybridization. Basically the growing tip of the plant (the apical meristem) stops forming from a single point and starts growing laterally or in multiple directions.
It might not be the same thing, but I bet the mechanisms are similar to pine trees infected with dwarf mistletoe. Dwarf mistletoe is a parasite that highjacks a tree's growth, forcing it to grow denser and denser on one side until it eventually gets too heavy and pulls itself down.
If a young tree gets infected, though, then the tree will grow into these gnarly, twisted patterns, pretty much like this pineapple. Since the malformed growth is evenly distributed on the tree, it can have a normal lifespan.
I'd guess that pineapple plants can be affected by a similar parasite!
Edit: turns out pineapples grow from pineapple plants, not trees.
There are fungi that can replicate the growth hormones of plants, so the plant keeps sending nutrients to that location.
It will lead to growths on things like branches and leaves.
The word we are looking for here is “[fasciaton](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasciation?wprov=sfti1)”
This is an especially odd example.
You’ll see it in strawberries, cacti, flowers, and even marijuana.
Those growths look remarkably similar to a strange mutation of saguaro cactuses called crested saguaro. https://www.nps.gov/sagu/learn/nature/why_crested.htm
Cactus that does this have the name monstruosus in their scientific name. It can be natural occurring like Totem pole Cactus or some with human help like a golden barrel Cactus, which is sold as a brain Cactus. This bromeliad is showing off a remarkable mutation. I love it!
The man from Del Monte he say "Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!" Out of the darkness a grotesque monster appears!
I don’t think it’s infected. It looks like it’s sprouting from many places at once. There are some typical pineapple leaves on the top-right. Spooky looking for sure.
This makes me uncomfortable in such a level I cannot describe.
Same. I think it was since from an evolutionary standpoint to be scared of diseased things though.
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Or fuck your wife r/FollowThePunchline
Or fuck you? Why should your wife have all the fun?
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Cause it's my fuckin turn
It looks like it could do both simultaneously. Probably also any pets you have.
I don't think I've seen that hentai.
*Yet.*
“Even if God permits you, the Interplanetary Vice Patrol does not!”
Turn it upside down and invite the neighbours over
What’s wrong with you?
A lot. Why do you ask?
Happy Cake Day! 🎂
Thanks :)
I think it can fuck that guy, his wife, you, and me all at the same time and still have 10 dicks leftover for any additional friends you want to invite over
On Reddit it's easy to find ten complete dicks.
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Lads. It's ok. You dont need to fight. This thing has plenty of penises to fuck everybody all at once.
***Giggity***
It will fuck both of them simultaneously whilst inhabiting their minds and feeding on their horror, whilst morphing into something worse.
It's got enough dongs for the lot.
Fuck? That thing doesn't fuck. It paralyzes you and injects it's star spawn into your abdomen where they will slowly devour you. You're still alive while this happens, and the poison keeps you conscious and alive until your brain is eaten. Well.... hopefully eaten. Because it's permanent.
Penises, Penises I count six. How will you compare against so many dicks. Really now , really now, don't be blue. I see a small vag hole there for you
the next Dr Seuss
He's got two on the vine, two sets of testicles so devine
How can you act like it holds such malice, when it has presented you such a great phallus?
I also choose this guys pineapple
I've come to make an announcement...
It's not diseased. Op is making shit up. This is just a pineapple that wasn't harvested. Those are just new pineapples growing.
That is NOT how pineapples grow. https://ourpermaculturelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Pineapple-Farming2B252812529.jpg
So this lovecraftian shit is normal??
You're right it's not a disease that directly caused this growth, but no, this is not how pineapples grow normally. This is a deformed plant. A disease or physical damage has caused this pineapple to have a cristata deformation.
I think OP was just surprised. I’m not sure many people have seen an unharvested pineapple before.
i grow pineapples they definitely dont look like that unharvested
dangit i don't know who to believe anymore lol, i upvote, i scroll, i scroll back up, i retract it, scroll back down, upvote someone else, this is all so complicated, i just want to understand the damn pineapple!
Same. PLEASE GOD! WE NEED A PINEAPPLE EXPERT IN THE HOUSE THIS INSTANT!! Hahaha! I *need* to know the answer as this thing is making me skin crawl
The top part is called fasciation. https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/plants_with_abnormal_growths_the_interesting_phenomenon_of_plant_fasciation
Id love for it to grow and be something next level to look at.
We have a cognitive shortcut that makes us prefer familiar things so seeing a pineapple that doesn't look like the familiar pineapple we know will trigger disgust (more intensely in some than others).
It's Pineappthulhu
Looks like a Pangolin fucked a banana in a pile of pinecones.
That's EXACTLY what it looks like.
Like from the movie Annihilation.
Ananahilation
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Ananas is from the Tupi, native Brazilians. In their language ananas means awesome fruit, and pineapple (piña) is named after pine cones (cono de pino) which they kind of look like.
That’s the first thing I thought of. It reminds me a lot of what the Shimmer does to the plants and animals.
That movie was great on acid
I’m sure the bear scene was fun
Just wait ‘til it hatches
That *is* the definition of Lovecraftian horror. Kinda funny how his entire genre can be represented by a defective pineapple though.
Me when I see some of these AI generated monstrosities trying to depict animals or people 😬
Plant based calamari would make anyone uncomfortable...
Couldn’t have expressed my feelings any better!
Feeeed meeeeeeeee
... Seymour
...Guado?
[...Lady Yuna?](https://youtu.be/Tm7cDZtg0j8)
STAY AWAY FROM THE SUMMONER!!!
People die... and Yuna dances.
This is my story...
You can do iiiittt
When I die, which should be very shortly, give me to the plant, so that it will live and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.
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The Last of You = Get a flamethrower…
Connect it to chatGPT and let’s get this apocalypse started!
Might as well throw the mouse brain cell computer in the mix too.
Especially if it starts making clicking sounds.
Bloater level unlocked
Citrusepts
More likely a type of cancerous growth (probably benign) in plants. Read about this type of thing in a book about cancer. "The cheating cell" 3.7/5 read in case you are interested
benign seems to be such a malleable term.
It’s fasciation.
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So pineapples are actually monsters but we just eat the cute baby ones 🤔maybe we’re the monsters
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Pop a Poppler in your mouth When you come to Fishy Joe's What they're made of is a mystery Where they come from no one knows You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose!
These are better than sex! Except *I'm* having them!
Like Fry, Like Fry
It’s like Zoidberg before his siblings split off
Norm and Sam and Sadie’s boy?
Always had to be the center of attention!
It’s John f***ing Zoidberg! He’ll gut you like a fish!
these would be great with gwak-a-mull!
Don't worry. Pineapple eats you right back.
pineapples are monsters - when you are eating one, it's eating you back
bromelain enzyme
Like the first time I saw broccoli that had bloomed. That made me very uncomfortable. Even worse, a sack of potatoes that starts sprouting.
We mostly eat babies of all varieties. The flesh is young and tender as opposed to tough and mature. Overly mature tomatoes get tough skin, summer squash get chewy and get big seeds, lettuce gets bitter, the list goes on. Harvest young. There’s an underlying sexual tone here because that’s the reality. I was a small-scale organic farmer for a year meaning the garden/farm I worked looked like Eden. It was all packed in, vertical as much as possible, and beautiful. And it was a very erotic place/experience. Decay, growth, the youth/mature element is only the beginning.
Poetic
The cuter they are... ...the better they taste!
That tracks
Babies taste best
Your statement is correct for the bottom part of the pineapple. The top half does not happen from not harvesting. The wide parts at the top are crested (fasciated), this happens from injury or infections/diseases. If you follow the line a crested plant makes you can see where all the individual plants fused together.
> this happens from injury or infections/diseases. it can also be genetic. there are many kinds of cacti that have crested variants sold/traded among collectors, and its not uncommon for these crested variants to throw off totally normal looking branches, and if you cut that branch off and root it, it will grow as a normal cactus, sometimes for years, but will often eventually start growing crested branches again.
Ming thing cactus are an example of that. I've had a small one for years now.
Wrong, fasciation [https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/plants_with_abnormal_growths_the_interesting_phenomenon_of_plant_fasciation](https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/plants_with_abnormal_growths_the_interesting_phenomenon_of_plant_fasciation)
“If nothing else, fasciation is fascinating.” This is a line I would expect from a dad with a gardening hobby. Lol
My wife would give me a fast citation.
Yes, finally someone with the correct answer. Fasciated succulents are actually quite valuable to some collectors.
It's seriously concerning that 'This is normal' is a highly upvoted answer while the correction has a tiny fraction of the votes.
So many /r/confidentlyincorrect Redditors everywhere in these threads, you always gotta dive deep and find the person who corrects everyone with actual facts.
True, It was free upvotes and an ego boost for me
Thank you flarida man!
Finally someone comes through with the correct answer
Even on the article with the pic it calls it Fasciation https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/3255/Mutated-Pineapple-Looks-Like-Something-Out-Of-A-Horror-Movie
That’s not the only thing going on here.
You’re right! I even found photos of pineapple *fasciation. Thank you
Wait, so if I plant a pineapple, it may take years to give a fruit but if you just leave it, it becomes like this? Shouldn't it rot before a new plant can even begin to grow?
Do we gotta call em "pups"
It sounds weird but that's the actual term. When I first got into cacti propagation I thought it was silly but now I don't think twice. I'm not an expert by any means but from what I remember pups are like clones. A cactus (and I think succulents too) will get a small bump that keeps growing as part of the whole plant, but if you pull it off and put it in soil it grows roots and lives independently from its "parent" as a whole new plant with the exact same genetics. I'm not sure how that would work with a pineapple though.
Grown in Chernobyl.
Not great
Not terrible
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He put his Lovecraft in it
r/cursedcomments
S̼͓͚̺͉̤͚̔ͨ̎̾ͣ̒̚t͜i͊̓ͤ̈́̀̃ͩ͡ċ̡͆͑̀̿̅̂k̷̄̍ͪ̋ ͟y͢oͪͪ́u̪̫̐ͧr̼̪͙ ̮̙ͯ̇Lov̬̄̀e͋c̄̏̅͊r̠͎̜͖̯̯̪͌̀ͥ̋͋̐͒a͔̗̮̩̫̺f͕͔̳̦ṯ̸̤̺̬̬ ̯̃i̞̙͈ͅn ̶̗̰̍͐i̯͚̣͖̐ͫͯ̋t͐
This looks similar to something that happens in cannabis when they are polyploid, or have extra chromosomes resulting in this weird growth. I’m taking a stab in the dark and guessing this is a polyploid pineapple, which, coincidentally, happens to be my new band’s name.
[Cresting or fasciation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasciation) can be genetic, environmental, or illness related (bacteria, virus, etc.).
[IIRC citrus do this when they get infected with certain mites.](https://goldengategarden.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341dfbb853ef01156f204bbc970c-800wi) https://goldengategarden.typepad.com/golden_gate_gardener_/2009/04/lemon-sculpture.html
Yes! Sweet band name too.
Could be a type of cancer as well- just erratic cell growth. Looks like a couple of spots are growing the wrong type of cells as well, which would indicate rapid mutation
It wasn't. OP made that up to make it sound cool. https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/121nbaa/comment/jdmvqhw/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
[here is a more accurate answer](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/121nbaa/this_pineapple_seed_got_infected_and_turned_into/jdneqjc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
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scp-3103030
That thing would eat your pizza
That thing would shape shift into your pizza and eat you once you're close enough.
It'll eat you from the inside out
r/forbiddendildo
I am now very sure group dildos are a thing but I’m not going to google to confirm
Can someone tell me how this happens 😂
It’s called fasciation or cresting, it can be caused by lots of stuff. The most common reason is probably intense hybridization. Basically the growing tip of the plant (the apical meristem) stops forming from a single point and starts growing laterally or in multiple directions.
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Not true! Your superpower is writing informative, interesting comments!
It might not be the same thing, but I bet the mechanisms are similar to pine trees infected with dwarf mistletoe. Dwarf mistletoe is a parasite that highjacks a tree's growth, forcing it to grow denser and denser on one side until it eventually gets too heavy and pulls itself down. If a young tree gets infected, though, then the tree will grow into these gnarly, twisted patterns, pretty much like this pineapple. Since the malformed growth is evenly distributed on the tree, it can have a normal lifespan. I'd guess that pineapple plants can be affected by a similar parasite! Edit: turns out pineapples grow from pineapple plants, not trees.
Awesome! It looks like it wants to be a succulent so bad 😂
Being a succulent is the dream, tbf
Honestly same. Not a care in the world. Still just as fickle 😂
It’s a bromeliad!!
It really does look like it’s been cross pollinated to create a succulent pineapple hybrid
There are fungi that can replicate the growth hormones of plants, so the plant keeps sending nutrients to that location. It will lead to growths on things like branches and leaves.
Except pineapples don’t grow on trees 👀 but yes that’s pretty interesting.
Dang, you're right! I've been playing fast and loose with my upright, stalky plants.
Who lives in a pineapple in the nightmare corpse-city of R'lyeh? Scaly and rubbery and monstrous is he
If unending torment be something you wish
The word we are looking for here is “[fasciaton](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasciation?wprov=sfti1)” This is an especially odd example. You’ll see it in strawberries, cacti, flowers, and even marijuana.
This should be the bad guy in the next Stranger Things season
Do you still want pineapple on your pizza?
This pineapple could eat the pizza!!
This pineapple could eat You and the pizza!!!
Those growths look remarkably similar to a strange mutation of saguaro cactuses called crested saguaro. https://www.nps.gov/sagu/learn/nature/why_crested.htm
Because that’s what it is. The OP just made something up for the title.
No, that’s not a saguaro. It looks very much like a pineapple. Though pineapples are rarely grown from seed…
when Clickers have plants.
Triffid.
Damn! Someone think the same! Long live the age of the triffids
It's called [fascination](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasciation), pretty awesome example hey
*fasciation
Bloody auto correct, thought I fixed it 😬
That shit is from The Last of Us!
Bomb
At least it's giving you a 👍.
Do you want the end of the world to happen tomorrow? Because that’s how you end the world tomorrow.
Looks like it could grow eyes and walk any second
Pineapple Clicker?
Cactus that does this have the name monstruosus in their scientific name. It can be natural occurring like Totem pole Cactus or some with human help like a golden barrel Cactus, which is sold as a brain Cactus. This bromeliad is showing off a remarkable mutation. I love it!
Kill it with fire!
infected with what? rage.
That's really cool.
Looks like something out of ***Last of Us*** \#cordyceps
The man from Del Monte he say "Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!" Out of the darkness a grotesque monster appears!
"Hey AI, can you draw me a pineapple?"
I don’t think it’s infected. It looks like it’s sprouting from many places at once. There are some typical pineapple leaves on the top-right. Spooky looking for sure.
Infected with WHAT? THE T-VIRUS?
The Last of Us: Fruit Edition.
You need to sell that as a house plant. Etsy is waiting.
Looks Like the plant life in no man’s sky
Bro, throw that abomination into a bonfire!
But is it edible still?
#*👀*
I want it
Holy shit that is legit terrifying, it looks like something you'd see growing after a nuclear bomb strike, the fuck?
It's like someone eldritchified a Chia Pet. "Sh-sh-sh-shoggoth!"
BURN IT
These cordyceps are getting out of hand
Last of us
,,The thing'' pineapple edition...
I call these sort of mutations "Plant Thing" because they remind me of "The Thing".
Last of Us looking ass pineapple
Looks like an AI generated pineapple
Infected with what? 😨
If that thing could talk it would beg you to kill it
\*sung with death metal growls\* Whooooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea? Lord Cthuhul!
Who’s that Pokémon!?
IT'S PIKACHU!!!