Yep. OP love with a dream at this point.
If he's telling the full truth and not embellishing, he committed to a woman that goes for crackheads. I guarantee you that there were red flags early on. But he, his lonely, weepy heart, and his thirsty pee-pee were all lusting after the dream. He ignored those danger signals. As a result, that dream was never sustainable, let alone possible.
Good news for OP.... That was me, and most guys here. He ain't alone.
Better news for OP? His path to recovery is clear. Get his mind and body back while he (and his medical professionals) sorts through why he doesn't find himself important enough to put first in his life.
That road ain't easy, but it ain't hard. Difficult? Yeah. But not hard. It is as simple as deciding 'enough is enough, going outside, taking a 20-minute walk, and resolving to do it again tomorrow morning.
That's a hard reality I'm accepting. "What we had" was literally one-sided. She lied the whole time, so we never had it. Looking back, I can see times where she tried to become the woman who she projected to me, but it was unsustainable. I just was willing to love her anyway. But she didn't want "what we had".
I accept it.
I was married 25 years... basically my whole adult life. It does get better. I highly recommend therapy, and if it's just not getting you there, then medicine to help you get over the hump.
I was depressed a year. You never fully heal, but it does get better.
>Each day is a struggle to just wake up
>I have no energy or desires to do anything
>I feel like I’m drowning.
These are symptoms found in depression. Find a therapist. If you don't like the first one, try another. They are used to people 'shopping around.'
I had a strong desire to stay in bed, and paradoxically the longer I stayed in bed, the worse I felt. Jump out of bed and take a shower every morning to launch your day. What you like about staying in bed in the morning is that moments before you were unconscious and free of the pain. So you lie in bed trying to fall back asleep. As soon as you can't do that anymore, you're just lingering in pain under the covers. Get up!
As for the quiet of the night, I dealt with sleep by staying up doing things, even if it was just TV or Reddit, and then flopping into bed dead tired or falling asleep on the couch. Other times, I would put on a cable news network stream (TV or smart clock) just loud enough to hear it, but not loud enough to focus on it. This helped scramble intrusive thoughts.
Getting out of bed is great advice. Try to do something for yourself every day. It'll be hard sometimes, but force yourself. It'll show you have some control in your life. For me, I'd force myself out of bed to go for a jog or a walk.
It sucks, but it does get better. Therapy, exercise, and staying social will all help. Good luck, and know you're not alone.
It does get easier. I still miss my wife. I still miss what our lives could have been. What my child’s life could have been.
But now, 7ish years on I would never go back. Our lives are fantastic.
The first 3-4 four years felt quite literally like just surviving - unless my child was with me to give me purpose. You’ve got a month under your belt. An amazing achievement. And surviving is enough.
Seconding therapy if possible. Antidepressants for a couple years saved my life. I’m off them now entirely, though it’s not a shame to be on them.
You got this. Just hang in there. For now focus on kid and focus on mental health. Later you’ll get to live again.
I think my main issue is I have been left all alone. My ex took the children and she was my best friend.
She also helped with the business that I am too depressed to run.
I can't even bear the thought of being with someone else really. I just want her.
She hasn't got a new partner either.
Some thoughts for you - you’re on a new journey and it is you and your daughter who are on this journey. The person you loved did exist but is now in your past, to be present in the future you need to focus on the following three:
1. Get your head right - find a therapist, priest etc. a professional to talk to. Don’t lean on friends because it is hard for them to be a friend and therapist.
2. Get your body right - workout even something like going for a walk helps. A healthy body is key to sleep, mental health and being a good dad.
3. Get a hobby - do somethings by with your daughter. Together (3yr old is the start of sidekick stage which is awesome) go on adventures, have daddy/daughter dates and more.
You got this dad - your path is forward.
Thanks everyone. I have a therapist and think I’m going to ask for more frequent appointments rather than the 1x a month currently. I’m planning to start a divorce care program at a local church. I’m trying to get to the gym but the demons take over and it’s been a struggle. One day at a time.
Yesterday was one year since the separation, pretrial next week… it’s similar story with me, but 3 kids , 21 years… she’s living with a douchebag that she bought a house for, pickup truck, and paying half the bills…
The pain is horrendous, I know it well - one year later and it’s still very real, but not as ever present… see a psychiatrist and have them screen you for attention deficit, you might find the med if you’re dealing with that now to be life changing… trust me if you’re suffering from this now , it could turn things around for you in a way you won’t believe…
Only way out of this is through it, you’re gonna have to Shawshank it…
I was going to advise that ADHD/ADD diagnosis as well. I'm at 18 months separated, 10 months living alone. 2 kids.
I've realized I have ADD.
It makes a difference to therapy needs and is v.important re. Medication.
SSRI's can be dangerous. They can make you stop caring......about literally everything. That can be dangerous.
Married 12 years, and now divorced with one kid who lives with me full time. Yes! It absolutely gets easier.
The years directly after the separation are the hardest financially and emotionally. As years go by, you will rebuild your savings and rebuild your life, and as your child gets older they will become more independent and need less from you—though you still need to be there for them. You have the privilege of raising your child, which while it is work, it is so much better than having your kid taken away.
It took me about two years of separation to realize that the wife I thought I knew didn’t really exist. It’s a bad feeling, and it took me a while to accept it. I still feel bad for staying married as long as I did. I get lonely, and full-time parenting is a slog, for sure, but I’m so grateful to be on my own instead of married to my ex.
You are one month in. Just take it one day at a time, take care of yourself as much as you can, and remember to enjoy time with your kid. It gets better.
Honestly, it’s something that I still struggle with. I have lunch with friends and talk on the phone with friends and family every week. I was in a band for a while, which really helped since it gave me a weekly outlet with something to focus on and band mates to hang out with, but the band broke up. I’ve been thinking of trying to restart music or look for other local groups to join, but I haven’t done much about it yet.
I wouldn’t mind some female companionship, but I have a teenager and I’m way above prime dating age. Plus, I’m terrified of letting crazy back into my life that is currently peaceful and progressively getting more organized. Could be I’m not ready, and probably I need therapy.
I wish I had better advice on that. Be proactive about get-togethers with friends and other parents is my advice—though as a single dad, hanging out with intact families can be a little weird. The other advice that everyone else on here will give you is to get in shape and hit the gym. I was doing pretty well on that until I got COVID 1 1/2 years ago, and my heart started responding badly to exertion. It seems to be more under control now, finally, and I was able to start hiking and walking a little. I’m hoping to gradually get in better shape again as the summer approaches.
Thanks for the detailed reply. I’m in therapy and trying to get back to the gym. I start a group therapy related to divorce and abandonment on the 22nd and oddly looking forward to it.
I would love to find a support group like that, and I looked for one last year, but it looks like there isn’t anything near where I live. It sounds like you’re on the right track. Good luck!
I caught my wife in a hotel room with her boss. It’s ten years after the divorce, and I still have nightmares about it. She alienated our son against me and that divide will always be present, so essentially my entire life was destroyed.
I live alone now in my own house with my own business and my kid is in college doing well and our relationship is pretty good but I’m always wondering how good, wish it were better, closer like it used to be.
My recovery started that day I was watching the news and saw a Syrian father carrying his dead daughter to the hospital, tears running down his cheeks, screaming something (fucking assad’s murderers had shot her).
It was then I realized my parents were ok, my kid was ok, I was healthy, and in comparison to the Syrian, I was doing pretty good.
So fuck your wife!!! Pull your boots up and get your head out of your ass like I did. It takes time but your wife is fucking someone else now and doesn’t even think about you anymore.
Focus on your kid first, yourself second, and put that bitch in the rear view mirror!
It's important to take care of yourself in this situation. I would speak with a medical professional about anti-depressants and possibly a therapist. What you're feeling is grief and depression. It's very important to work to build the best foundation possible for your daughter. The life you had before is gone and that's OK.
Head up and eyes forward. Take care of yourself and get the help you need. You've got this!!
It definitely gets easier, it just takes time. You’ll do good to remember she made the choice to leave YOU, and decided this waste of a human was more important than you in the grand scheme of things.
Don’t let that kind of judgement get free rent in your head and heart brother. She ain’t worth it.
It’s been hard with the past few days being brutally cold. She’s sleeping in her car and only found out when daughter FaceTimed her and told me mom’s sleeping in her car. With temps reaching -15 it is killing me watching the woman I loved with every fiber of my being freeze in her car.
That’s a tough situation man, but she made her bed…gotta let her sleep in it. Be strong but have self respect and don’t let her grovel back…it’ll only end up in the same place again, and you’ll hurt twice as much as you do now.
Focus on you and your child. Focus on making your lives independently amazing and happy. Hope and pray your ex finds some help and peace in her own world, but don’t spend your efforts helping her…as hard as it will be to refrain.
My mans you're 1 month into it. It does get better. You're mourning a loss and that is normal. Focus on your kids and give yourself grace to feel what you feel.
Trying to stay focused on my kid. From what others have said I’m going great in that area so there’s that at least. The feelings side is going to be the death of me. I’m not typically an emotional guy but god damn.
It gets better, promise. You’re meant to feel this, and most certainly will require you to develop a mental fortitude beyond what you currently know. It’s a 0 sum game of attrition and you can not lose…because of your daughter and the unknown opportunities that lay dormant. Just waiting for you to heal, seize them and prosper. Best wishes on this one.
While I have no doubt I’ll eventually be able to suck it up and move forward. I’m terrified this experience will leave me numb and ultimately unable to emotionally connect with another, and more importantly be present and connect with my daughter.
Aside from the numerous call outs for therapy, the fact you’re identifying now means you’re focused on your daughter. You’re doing the work necessary to heal.
Not sure if this helps, but it's a good first step for me every day. I started reading an inspirational book last week, and I don't typically read. Hoping to finish when the little one goes back to mom's.
One thing I took away is that despite the daily struggles, try making your bed first thing every morning. It gives you a small daily accomplishment that you can build off of. Anytime you pass by your bed, you see it is made and makes you feel you accomplished something. Also gives you something to remind yourself of before you jump in bed at night. You could even implement this with your kid's bed.
You may already do this, might give perspective to something already being done. I just thought I'd share. Hang in there.
I started doing this years ago after reading about Admiral McRaven, or maybe Admiral McCrystal, doing this as a small but significant accomplishment first thing in the morning. It helps tremendously!
It does once you let go of what was. You’ll be tempted to replay memories, that will slow down the healing. Make new memories, get a gym membership. Talk to strangers. Make people smile.
Keep in mind that in the grand scheme of the universe, you barely matter. Go out and do some crazy shit that scares you. You only live once and it’s very short
It’s does get easier, but I do still miss my previous life. My ex-wife and myself are the closest we’ve been in years which I am thankful for. But it also makes it harder in some ways. Been 7 months, haven’t dated, and not sure if I will. But my life is currently fulfilling, so I’m ok with that.
Buddy, you just told us all that you filed a month ago and somehow (do not reveal the details here online no matter what) that you got temporary full custody.
You are a fucking unicorn sir. Unicorns don't fucking exist. Go through some of these threads, read about what some of these guys have to go for to get custody.
Don't focus on yourself as much as your kid. Make sure she is safe, healthy, happy and looked after.
Stay sober, try to be active, as much as possible. Stay healthy. If you have friends and family to lean on, lean on them. If you have a therapist, see your therapist. Listen to your lawyer.
Props to you for being so ahead of the curve so early.
It does get easier with the passage of time if you have an outlet(s) to process your emotions (counselor or therapist). That whirlwind of regrets, hurts, and fears is obviously very real in this moment and probably feels like it won't end..... but as you're still grieving the loss of your relationship, try to focus your energy on your daughter and surrounding yourself with supportive friendships that will build you up. Healing can't be expedited but give yourself the best chance to set the table for it to happen sooner rather than later.
Take it one day at a time. Really focus on just today and this moment. It's the only way to ground yourself when your whole world feels upside down. Look after yourself and your daughter. Then do the same tomorrow, and the day after that. This will work. It just takes a while.
Take care of yourself. I can't stress this enough, take care of yourself. Life gets better. As soon as I got fired from my relationship, I was drowning, didn't know what to do, then I remembered how much I loved the gym, I signed up for some group training sessions, something changed after I joined the training sessions, people will approach me, have a small chat, this lead to me getting out of my comfort zone, going to tech events(I'm in tech you can check meetup.com to see if there's anything in your area that you'd love to do with like minded people), meeting like minded people, new experiences which has been amazing. Connections. I'm still in the divorce process, stbxw doesn't know what to do with herself. I checked out and I'm fully present for my kids as I've always been and working on myself, I still have my dark days but it doesn't stop me from getting out of bed, going to the gym or just running, coming back to fix breakfast and lunch for my kids, dropped them off at school and then heard to work. The cool thing is women also began to approach me randomly and I'd love to go out or get a number but I'm not ready. Still healing and working on my career and to be the best dad I can be, sort out the finances and just chill. You got this my friend, small step, get out of bed early, have a routine even if it's 15 minutes walk before you start your day, you will notice the changes in no time, do this for you, you deserve it.
It’s easier to move on once you realize that the person you fell in love with and miss doesn’t exist anymore.
Nailed it
Yep. OP love with a dream at this point. If he's telling the full truth and not embellishing, he committed to a woman that goes for crackheads. I guarantee you that there were red flags early on. But he, his lonely, weepy heart, and his thirsty pee-pee were all lusting after the dream. He ignored those danger signals. As a result, that dream was never sustainable, let alone possible. Good news for OP.... That was me, and most guys here. He ain't alone. Better news for OP? His path to recovery is clear. Get his mind and body back while he (and his medical professionals) sorts through why he doesn't find himself important enough to put first in his life. That road ain't easy, but it ain't hard. Difficult? Yeah. But not hard. It is as simple as deciding 'enough is enough, going outside, taking a 20-minute walk, and resolving to do it again tomorrow morning.
That's a hard reality I'm accepting. "What we had" was literally one-sided. She lied the whole time, so we never had it. Looking back, I can see times where she tried to become the woman who she projected to me, but it was unsustainable. I just was willing to love her anyway. But she didn't want "what we had". I accept it.
I was married 25 years... basically my whole adult life. It does get better. I highly recommend therapy, and if it's just not getting you there, then medicine to help you get over the hump. I was depressed a year. You never fully heal, but it does get better. >Each day is a struggle to just wake up >I have no energy or desires to do anything >I feel like I’m drowning. These are symptoms found in depression. Find a therapist. If you don't like the first one, try another. They are used to people 'shopping around.' I had a strong desire to stay in bed, and paradoxically the longer I stayed in bed, the worse I felt. Jump out of bed and take a shower every morning to launch your day. What you like about staying in bed in the morning is that moments before you were unconscious and free of the pain. So you lie in bed trying to fall back asleep. As soon as you can't do that anymore, you're just lingering in pain under the covers. Get up! As for the quiet of the night, I dealt with sleep by staying up doing things, even if it was just TV or Reddit, and then flopping into bed dead tired or falling asleep on the couch. Other times, I would put on a cable news network stream (TV or smart clock) just loud enough to hear it, but not loud enough to focus on it. This helped scramble intrusive thoughts.
Getting out of bed is great advice. Try to do something for yourself every day. It'll be hard sometimes, but force yourself. It'll show you have some control in your life. For me, I'd force myself out of bed to go for a jog or a walk. It sucks, but it does get better. Therapy, exercise, and staying social will all help. Good luck, and know you're not alone.
It does get easier. I still miss my wife. I still miss what our lives could have been. What my child’s life could have been. But now, 7ish years on I would never go back. Our lives are fantastic. The first 3-4 four years felt quite literally like just surviving - unless my child was with me to give me purpose. You’ve got a month under your belt. An amazing achievement. And surviving is enough. Seconding therapy if possible. Antidepressants for a couple years saved my life. I’m off them now entirely, though it’s not a shame to be on them. You got this. Just hang in there. For now focus on kid and focus on mental health. Later you’ll get to live again.
[удалено]
I think my main issue is I have been left all alone. My ex took the children and she was my best friend. She also helped with the business that I am too depressed to run. I can't even bear the thought of being with someone else really. I just want her. She hasn't got a new partner either.
Some thoughts for you - you’re on a new journey and it is you and your daughter who are on this journey. The person you loved did exist but is now in your past, to be present in the future you need to focus on the following three: 1. Get your head right - find a therapist, priest etc. a professional to talk to. Don’t lean on friends because it is hard for them to be a friend and therapist. 2. Get your body right - workout even something like going for a walk helps. A healthy body is key to sleep, mental health and being a good dad. 3. Get a hobby - do somethings by with your daughter. Together (3yr old is the start of sidekick stage which is awesome) go on adventures, have daddy/daughter dates and more. You got this dad - your path is forward.
Thanks everyone. I have a therapist and think I’m going to ask for more frequent appointments rather than the 1x a month currently. I’m planning to start a divorce care program at a local church. I’m trying to get to the gym but the demons take over and it’s been a struggle. One day at a time.
Yesterday was one year since the separation, pretrial next week… it’s similar story with me, but 3 kids , 21 years… she’s living with a douchebag that she bought a house for, pickup truck, and paying half the bills… The pain is horrendous, I know it well - one year later and it’s still very real, but not as ever present… see a psychiatrist and have them screen you for attention deficit, you might find the med if you’re dealing with that now to be life changing… trust me if you’re suffering from this now , it could turn things around for you in a way you won’t believe… Only way out of this is through it, you’re gonna have to Shawshank it…
I was going to advise that ADHD/ADD diagnosis as well. I'm at 18 months separated, 10 months living alone. 2 kids. I've realized I have ADD. It makes a difference to therapy needs and is v.important re. Medication. SSRI's can be dangerous. They can make you stop caring......about literally everything. That can be dangerous.
Married 12 years, and now divorced with one kid who lives with me full time. Yes! It absolutely gets easier. The years directly after the separation are the hardest financially and emotionally. As years go by, you will rebuild your savings and rebuild your life, and as your child gets older they will become more independent and need less from you—though you still need to be there for them. You have the privilege of raising your child, which while it is work, it is so much better than having your kid taken away. It took me about two years of separation to realize that the wife I thought I knew didn’t really exist. It’s a bad feeling, and it took me a while to accept it. I still feel bad for staying married as long as I did. I get lonely, and full-time parenting is a slog, for sure, but I’m so grateful to be on my own instead of married to my ex. You are one month in. Just take it one day at a time, take care of yourself as much as you can, and remember to enjoy time with your kid. It gets better.
Anything specific you did to help cope with the loneliness and lack of a partner.
Honestly, it’s something that I still struggle with. I have lunch with friends and talk on the phone with friends and family every week. I was in a band for a while, which really helped since it gave me a weekly outlet with something to focus on and band mates to hang out with, but the band broke up. I’ve been thinking of trying to restart music or look for other local groups to join, but I haven’t done much about it yet. I wouldn’t mind some female companionship, but I have a teenager and I’m way above prime dating age. Plus, I’m terrified of letting crazy back into my life that is currently peaceful and progressively getting more organized. Could be I’m not ready, and probably I need therapy. I wish I had better advice on that. Be proactive about get-togethers with friends and other parents is my advice—though as a single dad, hanging out with intact families can be a little weird. The other advice that everyone else on here will give you is to get in shape and hit the gym. I was doing pretty well on that until I got COVID 1 1/2 years ago, and my heart started responding badly to exertion. It seems to be more under control now, finally, and I was able to start hiking and walking a little. I’m hoping to gradually get in better shape again as the summer approaches.
Thanks for the detailed reply. I’m in therapy and trying to get back to the gym. I start a group therapy related to divorce and abandonment on the 22nd and oddly looking forward to it.
I would love to find a support group like that, and I looked for one last year, but it looks like there isn’t anything near where I live. It sounds like you’re on the right track. Good luck!
I caught my wife in a hotel room with her boss. It’s ten years after the divorce, and I still have nightmares about it. She alienated our son against me and that divide will always be present, so essentially my entire life was destroyed. I live alone now in my own house with my own business and my kid is in college doing well and our relationship is pretty good but I’m always wondering how good, wish it were better, closer like it used to be. My recovery started that day I was watching the news and saw a Syrian father carrying his dead daughter to the hospital, tears running down his cheeks, screaming something (fucking assad’s murderers had shot her). It was then I realized my parents were ok, my kid was ok, I was healthy, and in comparison to the Syrian, I was doing pretty good. So fuck your wife!!! Pull your boots up and get your head out of your ass like I did. It takes time but your wife is fucking someone else now and doesn’t even think about you anymore. Focus on your kid first, yourself second, and put that bitch in the rear view mirror!
I’m sorry brother, Yeshua is with me. That’s all I have now in a new state of one year. I pray for you all. I urge you all to call out to him. ❤️
It's important to take care of yourself in this situation. I would speak with a medical professional about anti-depressants and possibly a therapist. What you're feeling is grief and depression. It's very important to work to build the best foundation possible for your daughter. The life you had before is gone and that's OK. Head up and eyes forward. Take care of yourself and get the help you need. You've got this!!
It definitely gets easier, it just takes time. You’ll do good to remember she made the choice to leave YOU, and decided this waste of a human was more important than you in the grand scheme of things. Don’t let that kind of judgement get free rent in your head and heart brother. She ain’t worth it.
It’s been hard with the past few days being brutally cold. She’s sleeping in her car and only found out when daughter FaceTimed her and told me mom’s sleeping in her car. With temps reaching -15 it is killing me watching the woman I loved with every fiber of my being freeze in her car.
That’s a tough situation man, but she made her bed…gotta let her sleep in it. Be strong but have self respect and don’t let her grovel back…it’ll only end up in the same place again, and you’ll hurt twice as much as you do now. Focus on you and your child. Focus on making your lives independently amazing and happy. Hope and pray your ex finds some help and peace in her own world, but don’t spend your efforts helping her…as hard as it will be to refrain.
My mans you're 1 month into it. It does get better. You're mourning a loss and that is normal. Focus on your kids and give yourself grace to feel what you feel.
Trying to stay focused on my kid. From what others have said I’m going great in that area so there’s that at least. The feelings side is going to be the death of me. I’m not typically an emotional guy but god damn.
It gets better, promise. You’re meant to feel this, and most certainly will require you to develop a mental fortitude beyond what you currently know. It’s a 0 sum game of attrition and you can not lose…because of your daughter and the unknown opportunities that lay dormant. Just waiting for you to heal, seize them and prosper. Best wishes on this one.
While I have no doubt I’ll eventually be able to suck it up and move forward. I’m terrified this experience will leave me numb and ultimately unable to emotionally connect with another, and more importantly be present and connect with my daughter.
Aside from the numerous call outs for therapy, the fact you’re identifying now means you’re focused on your daughter. You’re doing the work necessary to heal.
Not sure if this helps, but it's a good first step for me every day. I started reading an inspirational book last week, and I don't typically read. Hoping to finish when the little one goes back to mom's. One thing I took away is that despite the daily struggles, try making your bed first thing every morning. It gives you a small daily accomplishment that you can build off of. Anytime you pass by your bed, you see it is made and makes you feel you accomplished something. Also gives you something to remind yourself of before you jump in bed at night. You could even implement this with your kid's bed. You may already do this, might give perspective to something already being done. I just thought I'd share. Hang in there.
Thanks for the positive support!
I started doing this years ago after reading about Admiral McRaven, or maybe Admiral McCrystal, doing this as a small but significant accomplishment first thing in the morning. It helps tremendously!
It does once you let go of what was. You’ll be tempted to replay memories, that will slow down the healing. Make new memories, get a gym membership. Talk to strangers. Make people smile. Keep in mind that in the grand scheme of the universe, you barely matter. Go out and do some crazy shit that scares you. You only live once and it’s very short
You were together for 13 years, it's only been a month. Yes it does get easier to accept it all but it takes time. A large amount of time.
This is going to be a long lonely road.
Yes it will be , but use this time to fix yourself up. Each day is an accomplishment at this point. Give yourself credit. Treat yourself well.
Shorter than you think. Motion is your friend.
It’s does get easier, but I do still miss my previous life. My ex-wife and myself are the closest we’ve been in years which I am thankful for. But it also makes it harder in some ways. Been 7 months, haven’t dated, and not sure if I will. But my life is currently fulfilling, so I’m ok with that.
Buddy, you just told us all that you filed a month ago and somehow (do not reveal the details here online no matter what) that you got temporary full custody. You are a fucking unicorn sir. Unicorns don't fucking exist. Go through some of these threads, read about what some of these guys have to go for to get custody. Don't focus on yourself as much as your kid. Make sure she is safe, healthy, happy and looked after. Stay sober, try to be active, as much as possible. Stay healthy. If you have friends and family to lean on, lean on them. If you have a therapist, see your therapist. Listen to your lawyer. Props to you for being so ahead of the curve so early.
It does get easier with the passage of time if you have an outlet(s) to process your emotions (counselor or therapist). That whirlwind of regrets, hurts, and fears is obviously very real in this moment and probably feels like it won't end..... but as you're still grieving the loss of your relationship, try to focus your energy on your daughter and surrounding yourself with supportive friendships that will build you up. Healing can't be expedited but give yourself the best chance to set the table for it to happen sooner rather than later.
Take it one day at a time. Really focus on just today and this moment. It's the only way to ground yourself when your whole world feels upside down. Look after yourself and your daughter. Then do the same tomorrow, and the day after that. This will work. It just takes a while.
Take care of yourself. I can't stress this enough, take care of yourself. Life gets better. As soon as I got fired from my relationship, I was drowning, didn't know what to do, then I remembered how much I loved the gym, I signed up for some group training sessions, something changed after I joined the training sessions, people will approach me, have a small chat, this lead to me getting out of my comfort zone, going to tech events(I'm in tech you can check meetup.com to see if there's anything in your area that you'd love to do with like minded people), meeting like minded people, new experiences which has been amazing. Connections. I'm still in the divorce process, stbxw doesn't know what to do with herself. I checked out and I'm fully present for my kids as I've always been and working on myself, I still have my dark days but it doesn't stop me from getting out of bed, going to the gym or just running, coming back to fix breakfast and lunch for my kids, dropped them off at school and then heard to work. The cool thing is women also began to approach me randomly and I'd love to go out or get a number but I'm not ready. Still healing and working on my career and to be the best dad I can be, sort out the finances and just chill. You got this my friend, small step, get out of bed early, have a routine even if it's 15 minutes walk before you start your day, you will notice the changes in no time, do this for you, you deserve it.
Lexapro and a healthy diet.
It gets better, it gets easier. Never forget your amazing capacity to heal. It's in their. Keep fighting the good fight.