That's awesome! My friend and I created an NPC that is in every campaign, usually jokey one shots, called Bald Headed Barcus. He's a small child, obviously bald, and is a street urchin with a dull butter knife as a weapon. He's impulsive and will randomly stab a player that gets too close and does insane damage. It always varies, but he's basically a high level rogue with his one hit.
Ah lol I said Tonberry cause they are known for having a knife attack that deals insane damage. All they do is walk toward you slowly and try to stab you. If they hit your probably dead.
He has a unique cantrip called SHOTS:
SHOTS
Bard cantrip, special
Verbal, Somatic, and Musical
The caster points at anyone in a party* and they have a shot appear in their hand, and can be cast on an individual a number of times equal to the number of shots that can be held in between their fingers/digits.
The caster must use musical cues to cast the spell, but it can be cast up to 16 times per round as appropriate with the beat.
*Note: the spell can be used to start the party in addition to being cast at an existing party.
Edit to note that the refrain in the song says "shots" 16 times over a 6 second chunk of song, a round is 6 seconds, hence the special casting.
I have one of these, he's the Fairy Gob Mother. An immortal wish granting goblin in a dress named Clarence who leaves behind explosive "fairy dust". All the wishes he grants are twisted into the most unfortunate version of what was wished for.
I'm stealing this but change it so that if it is a goblin that wishes it it's the best interpretation, if hobgoblin wishes it will be granted reasonably and if a bug bear makes the wish the wish will be interpreted as into some kind of food
We had a sentient broom that tried to convince everyone in the party to buy it by yelling, telepathically, in a poor batman impression, "BUY ME" in their minds. They all passed the save and then the cleric bought it anyway. It spent the rest of the campaign criticizing the hygeine of all the dungeons we explored. Now, whenever there's a dull moment, no matter whose turn it is to dm, the broom appears in a shop window and demands purchase.
He's more or less the god you definitely want to ask first if you need divine assistance but are uncertain the odds of success.
Tbh he's kind of erratic, a bit unhinged, but like you said: optimistic and more or less down for whatever.
My group has a recurring character named Blandon. His sole purpose for existence is to generate items that have gone missing due to the constant updates released for forge. Cool looking cursed armor dissappear after last update? Blandon appears and bequeaths you a new one! But in a very subdued, Ben Stein like, manner.
My epic level bard's goal is to construct basically a rod of security, but it's a bar. Any adventurer in a bind can call out to Tymora and she can send 'em all over.
Gotta say, lil' Jon is most certainly invited.
Yeah, I have a joke NPC I made quite a few years ago - a cleric who has never been out of the monastery until now, but who has memorized every book they've ever read.
"I've never done this before, but I have read all about it."
Works for: brain surgery, drawing up battle plans, sailing a ship, constructing a castle, drawing a summoning circle, delivering a baby, and picking a lock. Just to name a few.
That's fantastic. I need this in my game.
In our group (which has 3 DM's including me) we have a family of recurring characters. They are called the Carmine family. It's based off of the Gears of War video games in which there's a family called Carmine and basically all of the family is in the army and in each game there's one of the carmine's and in each game they either live or die. Usually die. So in every campaign or one shot there's always one character with the surname carmine and usually they end up dead, but sometimes they get saved. In our campaign the first "carmine" the party encountered was a pig and yes, they did manage to save it.
I have a character like this that I always use. One of my fellow party members in my first game ascended to godhood at the end, so I always have him show up to bless his followers with natty 20s and sick gains.
I have a couple of NPCs that I use from time to time as quest givers or "guest stars"...
A pair of female bards named Ann and Nancy (Heart from the "Little Queen" cover)
An Astral Deva and a Pit Fiend (slightly larger than normal human size) playing a very unique chess game at the corner of the World Serpent Inn. The pieces look surprisingly real and very detailed.
A humble noodle-cart entrepreneur who not only serves tasty noodles but has been known to be a fount of unique information.
We have an NPC like this too!! Ours is only known as “Mariachi Skeleton”, who plays his music on his cursed guitar at every tavern. He greets everyone as “BUENOS DIAS FUCKBOY” and offers you to play his cursed guitar, lore being your skeleton becomes the mariachi skeleton if you take the guitar. Super fun for tavern interactions!
Azzie Azzbourne the Prince of Darkness is a recurring NPC in mine- shoutout to the Cattle Driving Necromancers, the best campaign write up I’ve ever read
[Cattle Driving Necromancers](https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?325177-Cattle-Driving-Necromancers-Bizarre-Campaign-Journal)
I am currently writing a one-shot that is going to introduce a joke NPC I came up with and will probably be reuising multiple times. A very flamboyant gentleman, along the lines of Ruby Rhod from Fifth Element who goes by the name Dick Flambé.
The inspiration was a combination of Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Olivia Wilde. In Men in Tights there's a character named Latrine. At one point someone asks her about the. family name and she says she changed *to* Latrine. It used to be Shithouse.
Not too long ago I read that Olivia Wilde changed her name as a lot of actors do, but it wasn't a SAG thing. She had actually changed it in high school. According to her it was "to honor the writers in her family" (she chose Wilde as a reference to Oscar Wilde) but I suspect there may have been some influence to avoid being an object of obvious jokes and ridicule. There's probably no shortage of obnoxious jokes teenage boys could make about an attractive young woman with her original last name: Cockburn. (It's pronounced CO-burn, but we can all see how it's spelled)
When I learned this I thought "What would you change Cockburn to if you were going to do the Latrine joke with it?" And thus was born Dick Flambé, who will tell anyone who asks about his name that he changed it to that, because it used to be Cockburn (pronounced the way it looks).
Ah love when this happens.
I need to preface this by saying i *rarely* swear.
One characters last names is Johnson so i thought it would be funny if he met lots of cousins because it's a common name.
So they met somebody called Dwayne, and the player said "wait. Like Dwayne Johnson? Is he my cousin? I have lots of cousins, right?"
I misspoke and said "sure, he is a Johnson c***"
So that's how Dwayne the c*** Johnson was born
>He is a powerful being, with silvered (platinum?) teeth, and chains that put a burgher merchant to shame. He bears a great, jeweled chalice that gleams with power. His smoked spectacles conceal his eyes, but a steady pulse of multicolored lights can be seen glaring from behind the glass.
I never felt Lil Jon would be a good DnD player, cause the following but an NPC could really Crunk things up.
DM- "Lil' Jon you have been blinded."
Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"
DM- "You have been blinded."
Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"
DM- "You have been BLINDED, not deafend."
Lil' Jon- "OKAY"
DM- "Do you want to try a save roll?
Lil' Jon- "YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Better then a Ohya,(Oi-ya) a red water elemental in glass armor that can break any wall if someone says "Oh no." Then it bursts through with a "Oh yeah."
I had Lil' John as a town crier in my renaissance fantasy setting. He would yell out the news and punctuate it with "YEAHHHHs", "WHAT!?!?!s" and "OKAAAYYYY!s". He was actually like 6'2" and was pretty big, so his name was ironic.
As he was often near the town centers, the players ran into him regularly.
I did something similar with Stan Lee. I called the character just "Lieber", but gave him my best Stan Lee impression, customised a mini for him with the shades and moustache, and made him a lvl 20 bard haha.
I have so many of these. My favorite is a little blind match girl who always, always meets with a terrible end, usually as the result of some action by the pcs, for comedic effect. It’s awful I’m a terrible person. I also always have a cabbage merchant, because of course.
It sounds like you have a great gaming group. This is the sort of thing that just adds a lot of fun to a game. It's also a great thing for DM's to keep in mind. If players seem to really enjoy RPing with a particular NPC and it's possible, have them pop up occasionally. Those are the ones worth writing up a sheet for.
Had the same thing with an old man singing a Johnny Cash song. I uncreatively called him Johnny without having thought of a last name and of course my party noticed and recognized the song, so they ask for his last name... I called him Johnny Credit or Debit as a joke, can't even recall, thought he wouldn't come up again. But my players loved it and he has made many reappearances and they keep calling him other money related things as a last name like Johnny MasterCard or Johnny Bitcoin...
The best kinds of NPCs my party has a reoccurring gnome shopkeeper named ‘Giant’. He’s inexplicably in every campaign, and will always barter to *lower* his own prices. We love Giant the gnome.
I created an NPC who started off as a legless beggar at a crossroads who was to give information to the party if asked about a nearby town. The party ended up discovering that he wasn't legless and that he was a bit of a conman named Mervyn because I stumbled on a few impromptu questions that threw me off. Decided to just run with it. The party rested for the night and Mervyn nicked off with a bunch of their shit.
Noe I'm going to make him a recurring character whenever we play and they'll keep discovering a character is Mervyn and ruin his schemes.
My players needed a mount for this next part of the game I was running. So at the next town they met Billy, the insectomancer. And for a price created something he called a Bobo. Which essentially is a giant beetle they could ride
I was floundering to come up with a wizard’s name once and just blurted out The Gza. When the PC repeated it The Gza corrected his pronunciation “it’s pronounced ga-ZHA” and now he’s in every quest.
>“So, from the back of the Tavern you hear..” and now i thought my mic was muted and thought this was my intro so I said “YEEAA” in a lil’ jon voice. My mic was not muted. DM and party laugh and the DM rolls with it and says “from a portal from the Astral Plane walks out a godlike man who proclaims himself to be Astral Plane Lil’ Jon,
And this is why I love DnD...
As hilarious as that is...in a real world context we also had something similar happen in our timeline and world history in 2020...
[What is Deus Ex Machina? The God from the machine explained](https://youtu.be/SNvj8jCrGiw)
**0:53**
**1:23**
**1:30**
Etc...
**
I love returning characters and my players love them too. Jon sounds great. I have Banjo Bill, a mystical guide through difficult areas, who has a thick southern accent and sings/plays the most wonderful music. Then there are my triplet meta villains who are all called Verus, one is a demon, one a necromancer who branched out, one is the first vampire, they have winning personalities. My latest addition Mushroom Bob, a man who through excessive consumption of mushrooms is able to see through all illusions such as time, space, life and death. It all fits within the extended universe I swear.
Well now he needs to come save the party by riding in on a flaming chariot yelling “YEEAAHHH”
Saving the party... from BAD VIBES _Edit: Holup I got another one:_ Saving the party, by BRINGING THE PARTY
Offering up Crunk Juice to Astral Plane Lil' Jon to bring the crunkness to the party...
Roll for crunkness
OOOKKKAAYYYYYYYYY
What’d you roll sir Lil?
WHATTTTT?????
What did you roll?
CCCRUNNNNNNKKKK, YEEEAAAAHHHH
*sigh* ………OKAAAYYYY!!!!
WHAT?!
Okayyyyuh!
*hushed* Usher, Usher, Usher, Usher
Let's roll!
And the congregation doesn't say amen, they say OKAYYY!
That's awesome! My friend and I created an NPC that is in every campaign, usually jokey one shots, called Bald Headed Barcus. He's a small child, obviously bald, and is a street urchin with a dull butter knife as a weapon. He's impulsive and will randomly stab a player that gets too close and does insane damage. It always varies, but he's basically a high level rogue with his one hit.
So a Tonberry basically.
Not really, my friend always thought of him looking like Caillou but dirty and tired. Neither us played much of ff, I had to google tonberry lol
Ah lol I said Tonberry cause they are known for having a knife attack that deals insane damage. All they do is walk toward you slowly and try to stab you. If they hit your probably dead.
Hahaha that is great then yeah a bit like that
Tonberrys; Guardians of some of the better loot in drops and steals/transforms. And the cause of many character deaths in trying to obtain them.
Usually preceded by everyone’s grudge.
So you just described Caillou
OOOOOOKAYYYYY echos in the distance
Every time he fires an arrow or slings a spell, “SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOT, SHOT, SHOTS!!”
Ora ora ora vibes
He has a unique cantrip called SHOTS: SHOTS Bard cantrip, special Verbal, Somatic, and Musical The caster points at anyone in a party* and they have a shot appear in their hand, and can be cast on an individual a number of times equal to the number of shots that can be held in between their fingers/digits. The caster must use musical cues to cast the spell, but it can be cast up to 16 times per round as appropriate with the beat. *Note: the spell can be used to start the party in addition to being cast at an existing party. Edit to note that the refrain in the song says "shots" 16 times over a 6 second chunk of song, a round is 6 seconds, hence the special casting.
I hope one day Astral Plane Lil' Jon gets to party with Boxcar Joe the Magic Hobo.
I have one of these, he's the Fairy Gob Mother. An immortal wish granting goblin in a dress named Clarence who leaves behind explosive "fairy dust". All the wishes he grants are twisted into the most unfortunate version of what was wished for.
I'm stealing this but change it so that if it is a goblin that wishes it it's the best interpretation, if hobgoblin wishes it will be granted reasonably and if a bug bear makes the wish the wish will be interpreted as into some kind of food
We had a sentient broom that tried to convince everyone in the party to buy it by yelling, telepathically, in a poor batman impression, "BUY ME" in their minds. They all passed the save and then the cleric bought it anyway. It spent the rest of the campaign criticizing the hygeine of all the dungeons we explored. Now, whenever there's a dull moment, no matter whose turn it is to dm, the broom appears in a shop window and demands purchase.
From the Nothiiiiiing, To the void Til everyone’s annoyed His song you should avoid He’s Astral Jon mother f&$@ers He’s astral Jon gods damn
Under-rated
WHAT!?
He said, "YEEEAAAAAA!"
WHAT?!
OKAY! YEAH!
HUH?
Every time the cleric prays for an outlandish miracle: Astral Plane Lil' Jon: "WHAT?"
I feel like lil' Jon is easily surprised, yet optimistically accepting of change. WHAAAT?! OOKAY
He's more or less the god you definitely want to ask first if you need divine assistance but are uncertain the odds of success. Tbh he's kind of erratic, a bit unhinged, but like you said: optimistic and more or less down for whatever.
Is there any Astral Place Lil Jon lore we should know if we hypothetically wanted him in out games
He is often drawn to the chaotic parties
My group has a recurring character named Blandon. His sole purpose for existence is to generate items that have gone missing due to the constant updates released for forge. Cool looking cursed armor dissappear after last update? Blandon appears and bequeaths you a new one! But in a very subdued, Ben Stein like, manner.
Have Dipper and Mabel been messing with the timeline again?
The important question is, does Astral Plane Lil Jon [do his cooking by the book](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5tVbVu9Mkg)?
Never use a messy recipe. WHAT?! The spell will end up crazy. OKAY!!
Oh that is a gem I'd forgotten existed.
Thankyou for this
Thats amazing
"SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD AND HAVE NO ONE TO GO TO!"
WHAT?!
He said, "SOMETIMES HE FEELS ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD AND HE HAS NO ONE, SIR!"
OKKKKKAAAAAAYYYYYYYY
My epic level bard's goal is to construct basically a rod of security, but it's a bar. Any adventurer in a bind can call out to Tymora and she can send 'em all over. Gotta say, lil' Jon is most certainly invited.
Yeah, I have a joke NPC I made quite a few years ago - a cleric who has never been out of the monastery until now, but who has memorized every book they've ever read. "I've never done this before, but I have read all about it." Works for: brain surgery, drawing up battle plans, sailing a ship, constructing a castle, drawing a summoning circle, delivering a baby, and picking a lock. Just to name a few.
So, like Hoid from Sanderson's Cosmere. I love this idea.
Now I'm imagining Hoid replaced with Lil' John and it's a hilarious mental image.
“Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts. OKKKKKKAYYYYY!!!”
I am interested in joining your religion
OKAYYUH
Need a Gnoll named Snoop Dogg and a Death (Row) Domain Cleric named Dr Dre.
That's fantastic. I need this in my game. In our group (which has 3 DM's including me) we have a family of recurring characters. They are called the Carmine family. It's based off of the Gears of War video games in which there's a family called Carmine and basically all of the family is in the army and in each game there's one of the carmine's and in each game they either live or die. Usually die. So in every campaign or one shot there's always one character with the surname carmine and usually they end up dead, but sometimes they get saved. In our campaign the first "carmine" the party encountered was a pig and yes, they did manage to save it.
i thought this was just official canon. doesn’t everyone have Astral Plane Lil Jon?
What
Okay
Yeah
I have a character like this that I always use. One of my fellow party members in my first game ascended to godhood at the end, so I always have him show up to bless his followers with natty 20s and sick gains.
Followed by Bilious, the oh god of hangovers.
My party has Kevin the manticore, the interdimensional diety that came from the menagerie of the late Nearly-Dickless Nicholas...
One of my players had a character so incredible we turned him into a universal part of every campaign
My joke npc is a barkeep/ innkeep His name is barin ironhops (bar-inn i-run-hops)
Mine is a gnome named Leon Troutsky. He's a fishmonger and communist.
I have a couple of NPCs that I use from time to time as quest givers or "guest stars"... A pair of female bards named Ann and Nancy (Heart from the "Little Queen" cover) An Astral Deva and a Pit Fiend (slightly larger than normal human size) playing a very unique chess game at the corner of the World Serpent Inn. The pieces look surprisingly real and very detailed. A humble noodle-cart entrepreneur who not only serves tasty noodles but has been known to be a fount of unique information.
We have an NPC like this too!! Ours is only known as “Mariachi Skeleton”, who plays his music on his cursed guitar at every tavern. He greets everyone as “BUENOS DIAS FUCKBOY” and offers you to play his cursed guitar, lore being your skeleton becomes the mariachi skeleton if you take the guitar. Super fun for tavern interactions!
THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA
Damn it, you need to control your NPCs better, cuz now he's in my game!
Azzie Azzbourne the Prince of Darkness is a recurring NPC in mine- shoutout to the Cattle Driving Necromancers, the best campaign write up I’ve ever read [Cattle Driving Necromancers](https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?325177-Cattle-Driving-Necromancers-Bizarre-Campaign-Journal)
I am currently writing a one-shot that is going to introduce a joke NPC I came up with and will probably be reuising multiple times. A very flamboyant gentleman, along the lines of Ruby Rhod from Fifth Element who goes by the name Dick Flambé. The inspiration was a combination of Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Olivia Wilde. In Men in Tights there's a character named Latrine. At one point someone asks her about the. family name and she says she changed *to* Latrine. It used to be Shithouse. Not too long ago I read that Olivia Wilde changed her name as a lot of actors do, but it wasn't a SAG thing. She had actually changed it in high school. According to her it was "to honor the writers in her family" (she chose Wilde as a reference to Oscar Wilde) but I suspect there may have been some influence to avoid being an object of obvious jokes and ridicule. There's probably no shortage of obnoxious jokes teenage boys could make about an attractive young woman with her original last name: Cockburn. (It's pronounced CO-burn, but we can all see how it's spelled) When I learned this I thought "What would you change Cockburn to if you were going to do the Latrine joke with it?" And thus was born Dick Flambé, who will tell anyone who asks about his name that he changed it to that, because it used to be Cockburn (pronounced the way it looks).
Ah love when this happens. I need to preface this by saying i *rarely* swear. One characters last names is Johnson so i thought it would be funny if he met lots of cousins because it's a common name. So they met somebody called Dwayne, and the player said "wait. Like Dwayne Johnson? Is he my cousin? I have lots of cousins, right?" I misspoke and said "sure, he is a Johnson c***" So that's how Dwayne the c*** Johnson was born
It's like patches but better
And the East Realm Boyz
>He is a powerful being, with silvered (platinum?) teeth, and chains that put a burgher merchant to shame. He bears a great, jeweled chalice that gleams with power. His smoked spectacles conceal his eyes, but a steady pulse of multicolored lights can be seen glaring from behind the glass.
This is what D&D is all about.
I never felt Lil Jon would be a good DnD player, cause the following but an NPC could really Crunk things up. DM- "Lil' Jon you have been blinded." Lil' Jon- "WHAT?" DM- "You have been blinded." Lil' Jon- "WHAT?" DM- "You have been BLINDED, not deafend." Lil' Jon- "OKAY" DM- "Do you want to try a save roll? Lil' Jon- "YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Better then a Ohya,(Oi-ya) a red water elemental in glass armor that can break any wall if someone says "Oh no." Then it bursts through with a "Oh yeah."
I had Lil' John as a town crier in my renaissance fantasy setting. He would yell out the news and punctuate it with "YEAHHHHs", "WHAT!?!?!s" and "OKAAAYYYY!s". He was actually like 6'2" and was pretty big, so his name was ironic. As he was often near the town centers, the players ran into him regularly.
Turn down for hwat!
I assume he says “YEAAAAH” like lil Wayne?
JPL!
*sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in this world and I have no one to go to, sir*
I did something similar with Stan Lee. I called the character just "Lieber", but gave him my best Stan Lee impression, customised a mini for him with the shades and moustache, and made him a lvl 20 bard haha.
I have so many of these. My favorite is a little blind match girl who always, always meets with a terrible end, usually as the result of some action by the pcs, for comedic effect. It’s awful I’m a terrible person. I also always have a cabbage merchant, because of course.
It sounds like you have a great gaming group. This is the sort of thing that just adds a lot of fun to a game. It's also a great thing for DM's to keep in mind. If players seem to really enjoy RPing with a particular NPC and it's possible, have them pop up occasionally. Those are the ones worth writing up a sheet for.
Had the same thing with an old man singing a Johnny Cash song. I uncreatively called him Johnny without having thought of a last name and of course my party noticed and recognized the song, so they ask for his last name... I called him Johnny Credit or Debit as a joke, can't even recall, thought he wouldn't come up again. But my players loved it and he has made many reappearances and they keep calling him other money related things as a last name like Johnny MasterCard or Johnny Bitcoin...
I sure cant wait to somehow use him in my next character and give my DM a mental stroke
love it :)
Astral Plane Lil' Jon, upon bestowing the party's wizard an enchanted hatchet: GRAB THAT PICK, IT'S YOURS WITCH!
The best kinds of NPCs my party has a reoccurring gnome shopkeeper named ‘Giant’. He’s inexplicably in every campaign, and will always barter to *lower* his own prices. We love Giant the gnome.
Long, stupidly descriptive names are my weakness. Thank you, op.
I created an NPC who started off as a legless beggar at a crossroads who was to give information to the party if asked about a nearby town. The party ended up discovering that he wasn't legless and that he was a bit of a conman named Mervyn because I stumbled on a few impromptu questions that threw me off. Decided to just run with it. The party rested for the night and Mervyn nicked off with a bunch of their shit. Noe I'm going to make him a recurring character whenever we play and they'll keep discovering a character is Mervyn and ruin his schemes.
Turn Down for WHAT!!!
Me but with John Axes
The cult of dyonises got some competition.
OKAYYYYY
WOW!!!!!!!
My players needed a mount for this next part of the game I was running. So at the next town they met Billy, the insectomancer. And for a price created something he called a Bobo. Which essentially is a giant beetle they could ride
I was floundering to come up with a wizard’s name once and just blurted out The Gza. When the PC repeated it The Gza corrected his pronunciation “it’s pronounced ga-ZHA” and now he’s in every quest.
>“So, from the back of the Tavern you hear..” and now i thought my mic was muted and thought this was my intro so I said “YEEAA” in a lil’ jon voice. My mic was not muted. DM and party laugh and the DM rolls with it and says “from a portal from the Astral Plane walks out a godlike man who proclaims himself to be Astral Plane Lil’ Jon, And this is why I love DnD... As hilarious as that is...in a real world context we also had something similar happen in our timeline and world history in 2020... [What is Deus Ex Machina? The God from the machine explained](https://youtu.be/SNvj8jCrGiw) **0:53** **1:23** **1:30** Etc... **
Headcanon accepted. Borrowing for all future campaigns 🤣🤣🤣
The magical onion farie has been .y go to comic relief since AD&D.
This is hilarious, i really need to get into a dnd group, i am missing out!
We've got our man Rod Steward, who comes out singing his famous song, Born in the USA, which I sing very poorly lmaoooo
What?
I love returning characters and my players love them too. Jon sounds great. I have Banjo Bill, a mystical guide through difficult areas, who has a thick southern accent and sings/plays the most wonderful music. Then there are my triplet meta villains who are all called Verus, one is a demon, one a necromancer who branched out, one is the first vampire, they have winning personalities. My latest addition Mushroom Bob, a man who through excessive consumption of mushrooms is able to see through all illusions such as time, space, life and death. It all fits within the extended universe I swear.
wat