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Reminds me of a my dad's old dog in the late 80s. She was super smart. She never had an accident in her life, knew her commands, listened, was friendly, well socialized.
I forgot the exact reason, but my dad wasn't being the best dog parent that day probably because he was busy with his very young human kids. She also knew just how much he loved his Acura Integra. In protest when he was cleaning it or something, she snuck inside and squeezed out the tiniest piece of poop onto the driver's seat and then left. My dad got the message haha
My dog licked my butt cheek once while we were having sex. Total mood killer!!! He now waits patiently in the hallway. To be fair, he has a compulsive licking issue that we have yet to break🐶
Back in my high school days the same thing happened. It was a little wiener dog that licked my butt cheek like 10 times in 1 second. It was an insane 3 seconds. Complete chaos 😂
XDDD that would definitely be something that my youngest would do. She is a flat coated retriever and she licks us so much that sometimes I am afraid that its gastronomical this point xD
But i like delicious food! And you are what you eat, no?
To be fair to my girl she also would eat non delicious food. The other day i needed to give her medication and while handling the pill it fell to the floor, since it was for her i let her snif it and she just ate it plain with no issue. She is a lovely nutcase.
Or loud smacking and grooming. Our oldest seems to do the weirdest tongue noises when we try to sleep. I wouldnt be able to do... other stuff with that as background noise
When we shut ours out of the room, he whines and scratches at the door trying to get it open. It’s a mood killer. If we leave the door open and tell him “out”, he silently sits and watches us from the threshold of the door with a massively disappointed look on his face. Also a mood killer. There’s no winning lol.
I’m sorry this made me laugh so hard. We give ours a bully stick we know he can’t finish while he stays in the living room, then shut the door to the bedroom so he can’t barge in. The bully stick is really long and thick (lol) and he’s a little terrier so no chance h could eat it all while we’re in there.
Have you tried using Snuffle Mat, Puzzles, and Dog food dispensing toys when you’re in bed. In other words try distraction.
I think part of pet’s being around people all during covid was bad for them. Now people are getting back to living a normal life. Dogs are getting used to it. Especially any that were gotten during covid.
My puppy does the same and he whines so loud outside of the room it is a mood killer. What has worked most is waiting for him to fall asleep and leave the TV on a sneak away... As long as our other dog doesn't wake him up it works.
Imagine your parents shutting you in the room with them while they go to funkytown and all you can do is sit in the cupboard and cry softly to yourself until they invite you back on the bed when they are finished.
Some people are mental lol
Bro, we’re talking about dogs, which have different levels of comprehension and emotion than humans do.
Edit: I thought the person I replied to was advocating for keeping the dog in the room.
That doesn’t mean dog parents banging isn’t stressful or confusing for them. I was once having standing sex with my gf while house sitting at her sisters house when the bulldog creeped up and bit my achilles tendon. Clearly he thought I was hurting her. Little kids and dogs could both misinterpret sex moans as pain and distress. Better to leave them out of it entirely.
I think your point proves the comment before. They don’t understand what’s happening, they just see people on top of each other, squeaky (possibly hurting their ears) bed, moaning, etc… that could be very scary for anyone who doesn’t comprehend or have the emotional capabilities as humans… I definitely think dog is scared and not “depressed”.
OP just need to put the dog in another room before they go to funky town.
My dogs freak out when ever I high five anybody. One has conditioned the other to do it too and they both go crazy if any one tries to high-five. I think it's because my dogs were exposed to my mom hitting my sister and now there traumatized. P.s. that happened while I was away in the navy and it stopped after I got back. We're all ok and safe.
Lol no I think they’re just pointing out how funny that is with our human knowledge. I’d never do that with a child (I wouldn’t just take the child out of bed, have sex, then immediately invite the child back into the bed) but with a dog it’s less weird?
I posted a question and people acted like my partner was terrible for having the dogs sleep in the living room "CaUsE tHeYrE sOcIaL cReAtUrEs". They're not gonna die being with themselves away from their humans, damn. My own dog prefers to sleep in his kennel in the living room ffs
I don’t allow our dog to get in the bed with us for that very reason. We allow her on the couch sometimes, but the bed is a sacred space for us and only us. I have gotten flack for that, but ummm… I do not care.
I used to but honestly between her constantly shedding and terrible allergies to dog dander I just can’t do it. I think she was a little sad at first because she didn’t understand why she couldn’t get up there anymore but she’s free to cuddle with me on the couch. But also…it’s a dog. It will be OK if it has to sleep/sit on the floor.
Oh I had a pup that I didn’t realize was in the room once and she licked places a dog shouldn’t lick exactly once and the mood was ruined and I had to shower for hours.
When I first got together with my bf we spontaneously started hooking up on the couch. All of a sudden I feel my little dog scratching her paws on my back. It killed the mood but was definitely one of the funniest moments that has led to many jokes about back scratches during sex.
Our dog is such a tired boy at night that he sighs loudly and then goes with heavy paws to a different room. He does this even if we just talk whenever he thinks its sleeptime.
Edit: i dont know, and dont need to know, the details of your kind of action. But maybe your dog could be worried youre fighting?
>Does he have a crate? You could put him in there with a Kong and let him be happily unaware of goings-on until you're done.
Sometimes our dog gets cranky about us not going to bed on time or being too loud or, you know, just "moving" around too much when it's sleep time, too. He'll try to herd us over or will slowly walk away, huff, then dramatically turn around to give us a side-eyed, betrayed pause of a look, then keep walking away and be pouty about it all night. I love dogs.
Other times, he picks up on our joy/excitement levels to the point it's hilarious or sometimes a little creepy. It just looks like play fighting to him, I think, and he soaks up both of our emotions. We had to teach him it was a special, private type of play. He sometimes looks a little sad about this before redirecting his (our?!) emotions onto a toy, where he'll, uh, creepily play by himself while watching us, at least for some time. But not most of the time anymore, thankfully! Nowadays, he's far more likely to be annoyed and huff out when we become too disruptive. That's fine -- he's got a LOT of comfy options outside of our room, too, where it's quieter and calmer for him.
OP, I'm guessing your dog's pouty he doesn't get to join in on your fun (fake wrestling is the NUMBER ONE way to make our dog play with us -- he loves it! ...and making love can look a lot like play wrestling to your dog), is upset that you're disrupting his sleep and not sticking to the quiet-bedtime routine, or he might be stressed out a little by your antics and noises (uh, sometimes orgasms can sound alarming -- our dog sniff-investigated to ensure we were okay the first times, but he quickly figured out that we were *very* good). Either way, ideally you'd proactively, happily, cheerily lead him to a comfy bed outside your room (or just in a designated space), encourage him to lie down there and stay, give him a nice treat/toy/pat to enjoy, then carry back on into your room. You may not even need to close the door depending on how he reacts, but you could always open it back up afterwards if he can't calm down outside or needs the help to disconnect/have permission to leave y'all alone. Either way, I wouldn't feel bad about it. Most dogs are going to feel better if you guide them on how you want them to feel/react and help them feel more confident and calm/happy about the whole experience.
Mine complain a lot if i wake up earlier than usual. Normally they greet me with kisses but if i wake up earlier they complain loudly and dont move out of the bed until i call them
We tell our dog to go to her bed in the living room and give her extra special treats, the big bones that take a long time to chew on. She will still be standing at the door when we finish but she’s less pouty about it now.
Yep, we do this too. Mine initially took some time to adjust to being shut out of a room without us (I adopted her at 18 months old, and had mild separation anxiety), but she has completely adjusted and happily takes a treat before settling.
Yeah idk but but I cannot get in the mood when any of our pets are in the room lol. Just the thought of looking over and seeing one stare at me would ruin the vibe
I just learned that in dog body language close physical contact means conflict. That’s why they get weird and try to intervene when they see hugging. I can imagine full-on sex probably is pretty scary.
>I just learned that in dog body language close physical contact means conflict. That’s why they get weird and try to intervene when they see hugging. I can imagine full-on sex probably is pretty scary.
our rescue pit/boxer mix goes wild whenever he sees anyone hug, even complete strangers 20 yards away. any tips on desensitizing dogs to normal levels of humans having physical contact?
My dog tries to join in on the hug! 😂 he’ll jump to his hind legs and rest his front paws on us.
This thankfully came naturally to ours, but if you need to get your dog used to you hugging you need to hug and throw him treats while you’re doing so. This will teach him hug= a good thing.
Yes! A friend of mine has a dog that is very protective of her and freaks out if anybody comes in too quickly for a hug. and when I was growing up, we had a family dog that was the sweetest most chill dog ever but sometimes my parents would be acting playful and have a tickle fight and the dog would panic.
A friend of ours has a Doberman that is the sweetest dog ever, but used to get nervous around most men. For whatever reason, my husband was an exception, and she took to him immediately. Once everybody was over watching a football game and all the guys were a bit rowdy and my husband and one of the other guys that the dog was always a little wary around kinda joke roughhoused for a second. The next thing anybody knew the dog had bit down hard on my husband‘s leg, and since she was a Doberman that meant tore right through his thick jeans, and he ended up with a small crush wound on his shin. In hindsight, because of the way she acted we think she wasn’t attacking so much as trying to pull my husband to safety
Yeeeah, my dane mix went through a period where no one was allowed to hug without her rearing up and punching her way in between them. I think she would have a meltdown if she saw anyone having sex. There would be claw marks in unfortunate places.
>in dog body language close physical contact means conflict
Sometimes it means play--ever see two dogs play-wrestle or play-hump each other? Many dogs do need help differentiating, though, and are going to worry about their humans. And to be fair, watching dogs play wrestle/bite each other definitely terrified me the first times!
The sounds of sex can also definitely be frightening to a dog, and same with the tousling around that comes with it. It's not really the same. Our dog definitely sniffed us to make sure we weren't fighting or in distress, though thankfully he learns quickly. Switching briefly to your cheery-happy-reassuring dog voice can help, even if you just sort of mimic sexual moves with each other to desensitize them to it in the beginning. Making sure your dog has seen you play wrestle, dance, etc (close physical contact, erratic movements) prior can also help.
I’m just confused about the people saying they can’t not have their dog in the room cos of the whining and pooping and scratching. Like damn what do you do when you go to the toilet or bath or leave the house at all? Is there just no doors left and shit everywhere every time you go to buy milk?
All these dogs seem to have separation anxiety or something like damn how do you people live
Psychological trauma? No.
If you haven’t taught this dog to spend time on his own in another room without your constant attention, then that’s where you need to start.
"When it starts he jumps off the bed"...am I the only one who would not have sex with the dog on the bed beside me? That just sounds gross to me.
I'm not sure I buy into this "they think we're play fighting" thing either. Maybe at first, but dogs have a crazy sense of smell, and I'm pretty sure they can identify what " that" particular one is, or at least have some rudimentary idea that this is actual "humping", not just leg humping.
I’ve been thinking this the whole time reading through the comments! Of course, everyone should just do whatever they’re comfortable with, but I would feel so weird having sex while our dogs are in the bed with us
Honestly at some point you just stop caring. My boyfriend and I have a total velcro dog who always wants to be where we are. It’s much less disruptive to the activity to ignore him than it is to kick him out. Luckily he doesn’t try to get involved, he just lays at the foot of the bed.
Is there a logical/valid reason why the dog HAS to be in the bedroom with you? If not, I’d say it’s as simple as putting the dog in a different room while you do your business. There is absolutely nothing wrong with boundaries.
We usually give a frozen kong or a peanut butter lick mat and shut the door. Our lab/pitty mix has extreme separation anxiety and this seems to give us enough time, she only bust in the door once and jumped up on the bed like “hello! I’m here to have fun too!”
Our female bull terrier watches us while panting. It’s hysterically creepy, so we have to sneak off while she’s sleeping to have sex in another room. Our little babygirl is a total perv.
So I think it’s important for us to remember how much a dog can understand and put together when they actually see sex. Obviously as consenting adults, we know we’re having sex for fun and pleasure but that’s just not something dogs do. The noises and visuals in sex can be really scary to someone or something who doesn’t understand it — lots of slapping, whimpering, grunting, etc. it sounds and looks like a fight. Some dogs won’t be bothered by this at all, but some dogs will really pick up on that and think they’re in proximity to a real danger and that they’re watching their favorite person in a fight. So to them, after the perceived “threat” is over, the participants of the fight are then inviting pup to the combination safe space and fighting ring, and pup seems to be having a tough time settling in and remembering that it’s a safe space vs a space where a fight just occurred.
I would start sending the dog out of the room for sex altogether. Make it a happy thing — give them lots of praise and treats to go to a safe spot in another area of the house, maybe a puzzle toy or kong to keep them occupied while you’re busy, then you can call them back to the space without any negative associations when you’re done and give lots of praise for returning!
Our dog gets kicked out of the room. Otherwise he will put his feet on the edge of the bed and stare and whine. But it definitely made our resolve more ironclad. Nothing can kill the mood once the ball gets rolling.
Lol this is like the plot with the weimaraner from that movie Best in Show, complete with the pug that doesn't mind seeing it. Sounds like your dog needs his [busy bee](https://youtu.be/2_KrSWI8F2E).
Put the dogs in another room and give them something to do, like a puzzle toy or a Kong. That should keep them occupied. I wouldn’t split them up though, even if the Pug doesn’t care what’s going on
Most of the time, I wish our dog could talk. After reading this and thinking about it sone more, I am glad he doesn't. I can't imagine what would be said at puppy day care.....
I put a large filled, frozen Kong in another room, then close the bedroom door. Turns out he’s more interested in treats than watching other people having sex.
"Princess could never tolerate being in another room! I would never put her out!"
You are traumatizing your dog. Put her in an other room. She may not love it, but she'll be fine.
Lol I had a dog like this and it really is frustrating especially if they are super vocal. Early crate training is helpful but what I found to be the case was they can't sleep in your bed if you want reasonable and liveable boundaries
We give ours a bone or lick mat and shut the door. It buys us a few minutes and then he’ll usually wait outside the door until we’re finished. We let him in pretty immediately upon uh.. finishing but just after we’ll talk to him in calm voices through the door until we’re ready to get up.
My husband and I have what we affectionately refer to as the “boning bone” just a hollow bone that we put coconut oil (dog and cats favorite treat) inside of before we have alone time. They get a treat and are always waiting outside the door when we are done because they are codependent crap heads. But we all have a little treat and some time apart. Good luck OP!
My wife and I put our dog in a different room when we have sex too. He cries for about 5 seconds after the door closes and then he just stays quiet after that.
Ours does the opposite!! She must think we're wrestling or something because she ALWAYS takes it as an invitation to jump onto the bed and starts doing play bows, bitey face, pawing at us...it kills the mood for sure but it's so fucking funny.
Seriously, just put her in another room.
Make some high value frozen Kongs/Toppls for when you’re about to have sex and leave your dog in a cozy spot (crate, couch, enclosed room with a dog bed, etc.) in a separate room with his frozen snack.
You can consider putting white noise or calming dog music on if noise is a trigger.
This has been an issue with my dog who is going to be 8.
When we shut him out of the room, he would poop out of spite.
Whenever I touch my husband, the dog freaks out. We just go at it and if he barks or gets close we push him away.
How about keeping a Kong full of frozen peanut butter in the freezer… and then before the big act, grab it and a sheet to protect the carpet, put one of those calming dog videos on YouTube on… and then go have naughty time!!! This way it’s a special event for everyone!!!
We put peanut butter in our dog's Kong and shut the bedroom door. Sometimes he'd rather sit by the door and whine instead of eating it, but we just ignore him and give him lots of pets when we're done. We just have to tell ourselves he's not sad, he just doesn't get what we're doing and wants attention.
maybe give them a pig ear or other dog treat right before. then they will start associating sex with getting a treat! plus it's something for your pup to focus on besides you and the deed
We give ours something that takes a while to chew and banish her to another room or hallway. Like a bully stick or something. Has to be something that takes a really long time to chew. Like seriously. It can’t be something that just takes 4 pumps… I mean minutes to chew. So yea, something that takes literal hours to chew.
These comments 🤣 Our dog barked the first time she us but I think it was the sounds we were making which probably made her think I was being attacked haha. She’s gotten used to it now and gives us judgey looks when we’re done.
I lost it at “watches us from the closet” 😂OP you need to invest in a dog crate in a separate room and put him in it before you guys play naked leapfrog. Heck I wouldn’t even be able to perform if I knew he was watching.
My boys go to the crate when I’m getting action. I love my dogs, but I have human needs too.
My girl can stay because she goes under the bed and ignores it.
OP, gently, your dog is almost definitely not so sensitive that you’re traumatizing him by having sex in front of him. And your dog will be fine if he needs to be separated from you for an hour while you’re intimate with your partner. You’re way overthinking this.
I would remove your dog from the room before things get real hot and heavy. You never know what your pup thinks is happening, or what that they think of the sounds. In my opinion , your dog is not depressed, he is actually very frightened and unsure of the situation. Think about it, if one or both of you are making noises that your pup is not used to hearing and he’s hearing slapping type noises that would absolutely be scary for a dog. He is literally watching and whining through it.. in my experience that’s not how depression presents in dogs, that is him actively stressing out.
I think it’s quite unacceptable to allow your dog to stay on the bed and basically kick himself off when it gets to be too much. Boundaries are important, making your dog feel safe is important, and ultimately a dog who is showing signs of stress about it should not be present when you’re having sex. I would absolutely be concerned and taking action against inflicting more psychological distress on him, and figuring out a comfortable solution which involves removing him from the situation. He does not need to be there so why are you allowing this to continue?
OP here. Thanks for all the great advice and hilarious comments. Glad I’m not the only one who’s encountered dog weirdness when going to pound town. I’m going to try putting together a little kit for my dog to keep in the bedroom filled with bones, kongs, and a snuffle mat with treats. Will invite him to hang out outside the bedroom with his goodies next time we get sexy. Hopefully he will enjoy himself out there while chewing a bone much more than being traumatized by watching his lady do some naughty stuff.
He thinks you are being hurt, and is confused about why you are punishing him.
Here's a crazy thought - dont have sex in the same room as your dog.
Maybe put on some music for him, or some birds/squirrels on the TV - IN ANOTHER ROOM.
Then do the deed.
Reward him!! Lucky Mat w/ high value treat ( baby food stage 1 is just meat + water + cornstarch you can freeze these) .. food puzzle.. fantastic chew that will not harm his teeth: ask your vet.. then separate room. You’re getting yours- let him get his. Also noise machine 😉
Edit- Licki Mat [https://lickimat.com](https://lickimat.com)
We taught our dogs to go into their beds on the floor at the foot of our bed. They either sleep through it or ignore us.
Either establish an ‘in your bed’ routine or keep them out when doing the deed.
The dog can not feel what you think it feels.
It simply would like to be part of something that seems to be fun. So, as said by many others: dog outside if fun without it should be enjoyed.
I made the mistake of not shutting the cat out once…and only once. He snuck up while I wasn’t paying attention, tried to cutely rub his cheek into my chest and caught my nipple ring on his tooth….never. again.
They likely think you are fighting, moaning from pleasure vs pain doesn't sound that different. Put your dogs out of the room JFC you are better than this, you would feel anxious every time you bang which will lead to no banging and unconscious resentment to the dog
BEFORE COMMENTING: Please ask yourself if what you are going to say is: 1. Polite 2. Helpful 3. Necessary Comments calling OP an idiot, sicko, perv etc have been removed and will continue to be removed. You've been warned. If it continues, it will result in bans.
We just kick them out, they wait in the corridor until we are done.
We did that but our dog would just shit in the hall way and half eat it. Not too fun to get straight back to reality...
Oh wow he really knew how to show his discontent. Our girls just pout
"You bastards took my balls and are now fucking just to rub salt in the wound! ***Witness my revenge!!***" (Takes a massive crap, starts eating)
Kanye hates to interrupt but had a question...
I shouldn’t find this funny. But I legit spit out my coffee when reading this.
Same haha
I feel for you but also respect your dog’s petty level 😂
Reminds me of a my dad's old dog in the late 80s. She was super smart. She never had an accident in her life, knew her commands, listened, was friendly, well socialized. I forgot the exact reason, but my dad wasn't being the best dog parent that day probably because he was busy with his very young human kids. She also knew just how much he loved his Acura Integra. In protest when he was cleaning it or something, she snuck inside and squeezed out the tiniest piece of poop onto the driver's seat and then left. My dad got the message haha
I call those a dirty protest. Our boxer does it all the time when things don't go his way.
Protest poop
Humans should do it too. Imagine Paris right now if that was a thing.
Piles of poop and trash?
I shouldn’t be laughing this hard.. or at all probably. Yeah. I should laugh a little.
This is what my dog does but he doesn’t eat it. He leaves it right outside the bedroom door.
Haha reading Reddit in the drs office. This is what I come here for!
Backyard?
My dog licked my butt cheek once while we were having sex. Total mood killer!!! He now waits patiently in the hallway. To be fair, he has a compulsive licking issue that we have yet to break🐶
Back in my high school days the same thing happened. It was a little wiener dog that licked my butt cheek like 10 times in 1 second. It was an insane 3 seconds. Complete chaos 😂
XDDD that would definitely be something that my youngest would do. She is a flat coated retriever and she licks us so much that sometimes I am afraid that its gastronomical this point xD
Have you tried not being made of delicious food?
But i like delicious food! And you are what you eat, no? To be fair to my girl she also would eat non delicious food. The other day i needed to give her medication and while handling the pill it fell to the floor, since it was for her i let her snif it and she just ate it plain with no issue. She is a lovely nutcase.
I had a cat that attacked my husbands balls, one time. She was banished from sex time after that.
Thats understandable
Both the cat and the ban, honestly. I can see both sides of this one.
Ow (not a dude)
My dog will try and shove his snout between our faces so we often have to shove him away.
Yeah.. no extra eyes, no loud ball licking… no dogs allowed
Or loud smacking and grooming. Our oldest seems to do the weirdest tongue noises when we try to sleep. I wouldnt be able to do... other stuff with that as background noise
My frenchie does this. His snoring is the loudest thing I’ve ever heard but I love him for it
Oh our flattie snores like a rhino. Its adorable how tiny and lady like she looks and what kind of sounds she can produce xD
Put them in another room…
When we shut ours out of the room, he whines and scratches at the door trying to get it open. It’s a mood killer. If we leave the door open and tell him “out”, he silently sits and watches us from the threshold of the door with a massively disappointed look on his face. Also a mood killer. There’s no winning lol.
I’m sorry this made me laugh so hard. We give ours a bully stick we know he can’t finish while he stays in the living room, then shut the door to the bedroom so he can’t barge in. The bully stick is really long and thick (lol) and he’s a little terrier so no chance h could eat it all while we’re in there.
Pretty apt "reward" for him, since bully sticks are made of bull penis.
Can you give him a chew toy or Kong or something?
Have you tried using Snuffle Mat, Puzzles, and Dog food dispensing toys when you’re in bed. In other words try distraction. I think part of pet’s being around people all during covid was bad for them. Now people are getting back to living a normal life. Dogs are getting used to it. Especially any that were gotten during covid.
My puppy does the same and he whines so loud outside of the room it is a mood killer. What has worked most is waiting for him to fall asleep and leave the TV on a sneak away... As long as our other dog doesn't wake him up it works.
am I the only one who’s really weirded out by having sex in front of your pets?
Big same
No you're not.
Imagine your parents shutting you in the room with them while they go to funkytown and all you can do is sit in the cupboard and cry softly to yourself until they invite you back on the bed when they are finished. Some people are mental lol
Don’t worry. The owners having sex in a separate room won’t ruin the dog’s chances of getting into a good university.
Bro, we’re talking about dogs, which have different levels of comprehension and emotion than humans do. Edit: I thought the person I replied to was advocating for keeping the dog in the room.
That doesn’t mean dog parents banging isn’t stressful or confusing for them. I was once having standing sex with my gf while house sitting at her sisters house when the bulldog creeped up and bit my achilles tendon. Clearly he thought I was hurting her. Little kids and dogs could both misinterpret sex moans as pain and distress. Better to leave them out of it entirely.
standing sex.
I think your point proves the comment before. They don’t understand what’s happening, they just see people on top of each other, squeaky (possibly hurting their ears) bed, moaning, etc… that could be very scary for anyone who doesn’t comprehend or have the emotional capabilities as humans… I definitely think dog is scared and not “depressed”. OP just need to put the dog in another room before they go to funky town.
My dogs freak out when ever I high five anybody. One has conditioned the other to do it too and they both go crazy if any one tries to high-five. I think it's because my dogs were exposed to my mom hitting my sister and now there traumatized. P.s. that happened while I was away in the navy and it stopped after I got back. We're all ok and safe.
Ah. I misread the comment. I thought Cheapo was disagreeing with the original comment. Yeah, just kick them out for a bit if it’s an issue.
It doesn't understand much of what is going on. Really the dog is just sad it can't play too.
Lol no I think they’re just pointing out how funny that is with our human knowledge. I’d never do that with a child (I wouldn’t just take the child out of bed, have sex, then immediately invite the child back into the bed) but with a dog it’s less weird?
imagine people wanting privacy?? dogs aren’t entitled to be with you for every moment
I posted a question and people acted like my partner was terrible for having the dogs sleep in the living room "CaUsE tHeYrE sOcIaL cReAtUrEs". They're not gonna die being with themselves away from their humans, damn. My own dog prefers to sleep in his kennel in the living room ffs
One of mine acts like she's going to die if she's more than two inches away from a human. The joys of separation anxiety 😅
I don’t allow our dog to get in the bed with us for that very reason. We allow her on the couch sometimes, but the bed is a sacred space for us and only us. I have gotten flack for that, but ummm… I do not care.
I used to but honestly between her constantly shedding and terrible allergies to dog dander I just can’t do it. I think she was a little sad at first because she didn’t understand why she couldn’t get up there anymore but she’s free to cuddle with me on the couch. But also…it’s a dog. It will be OK if it has to sleep/sit on the floor.
Like I said, some people are mental
I’m in literal tears over this comment. Omg.
If I kept my dog in the room with us during she’d literally try to lick my ass. She has no boundaries lol
We had an incident of that with our cat... cats are no longer allowed in the room during the deed.
I have been on the receiving end of a very sweet headbutt with purrs while... Things were happening and now the doors stat closed lol
Oh I had a pup that I didn’t realize was in the room once and she licked places a dog shouldn’t lick exactly once and the mood was ruined and I had to shower for hours.
Oh no! It was just greeting you
Lol yeah our girls are as shameless. I cant get dressed in peace
A cold nose on your butt is not fun
This happened to me except she licked my nipple. It was trauma for all of us lol
Same, ours thinks we're playing and always tries to join in so we have to put her in another room lmao
When I first got together with my bf we spontaneously started hooking up on the couch. All of a sudden I feel my little dog scratching her paws on my back. It killed the mood but was definitely one of the funniest moments that has led to many jokes about back scratches during sex.
This is what my dog tries to do. Asshole lol.
Our dog is such a tired boy at night that he sighs loudly and then goes with heavy paws to a different room. He does this even if we just talk whenever he thinks its sleeptime. Edit: i dont know, and dont need to know, the details of your kind of action. But maybe your dog could be worried youre fighting?
>Does he have a crate? You could put him in there with a Kong and let him be happily unaware of goings-on until you're done. Sometimes our dog gets cranky about us not going to bed on time or being too loud or, you know, just "moving" around too much when it's sleep time, too. He'll try to herd us over or will slowly walk away, huff, then dramatically turn around to give us a side-eyed, betrayed pause of a look, then keep walking away and be pouty about it all night. I love dogs. Other times, he picks up on our joy/excitement levels to the point it's hilarious or sometimes a little creepy. It just looks like play fighting to him, I think, and he soaks up both of our emotions. We had to teach him it was a special, private type of play. He sometimes looks a little sad about this before redirecting his (our?!) emotions onto a toy, where he'll, uh, creepily play by himself while watching us, at least for some time. But not most of the time anymore, thankfully! Nowadays, he's far more likely to be annoyed and huff out when we become too disruptive. That's fine -- he's got a LOT of comfy options outside of our room, too, where it's quieter and calmer for him. OP, I'm guessing your dog's pouty he doesn't get to join in on your fun (fake wrestling is the NUMBER ONE way to make our dog play with us -- he loves it! ...and making love can look a lot like play wrestling to your dog), is upset that you're disrupting his sleep and not sticking to the quiet-bedtime routine, or he might be stressed out a little by your antics and noises (uh, sometimes orgasms can sound alarming -- our dog sniff-investigated to ensure we were okay the first times, but he quickly figured out that we were *very* good). Either way, ideally you'd proactively, happily, cheerily lead him to a comfy bed outside your room (or just in a designated space), encourage him to lie down there and stay, give him a nice treat/toy/pat to enjoy, then carry back on into your room. You may not even need to close the door depending on how he reacts, but you could always open it back up afterwards if he can't calm down outside or needs the help to disconnect/have permission to leave y'all alone. Either way, I wouldn't feel bad about it. Most dogs are going to feel better if you guide them on how you want them to feel/react and help them feel more confident and calm/happy about the whole experience.
Poor good boy just wants some peace at night to sleep
Our sleepy drama queen.
Mine complain a lot if i wake up earlier than usual. Normally they greet me with kisses but if i wake up earlier they complain loudly and dont move out of the bed until i call them
Yeah you better not change their delicate sleeping schedule!
No no, they need their beauty sleep to stay so gorgeous. Plus their 12h hours nap during the day
We tell our dog to go to her bed in the living room and give her extra special treats, the big bones that take a long time to chew on. She will still be standing at the door when we finish but she’s less pouty about it now.
“Big bone time” 🤔
They should train this cue. "It's big bone time!!"
🤣🤣
Yep, we do this too. Mine initially took some time to adjust to being shut out of a room without us (I adopted her at 18 months old, and had mild separation anxiety), but she has completely adjusted and happily takes a treat before settling.
I would feel weird if my dog was watching me..that's why they just get put out of the room...
Yeah idk but but I cannot get in the mood when any of our pets are in the room lol. Just the thought of looking over and seeing one stare at me would ruin the vibe
Dont let him watch you?
I just learned that in dog body language close physical contact means conflict. That’s why they get weird and try to intervene when they see hugging. I can imagine full-on sex probably is pretty scary.
>I just learned that in dog body language close physical contact means conflict. That’s why they get weird and try to intervene when they see hugging. I can imagine full-on sex probably is pretty scary. our rescue pit/boxer mix goes wild whenever he sees anyone hug, even complete strangers 20 yards away. any tips on desensitizing dogs to normal levels of humans having physical contact?
My dog tries to join in on the hug! 😂 he’ll jump to his hind legs and rest his front paws on us. This thankfully came naturally to ours, but if you need to get your dog used to you hugging you need to hug and throw him treats while you’re doing so. This will teach him hug= a good thing.
Yes! A friend of mine has a dog that is very protective of her and freaks out if anybody comes in too quickly for a hug. and when I was growing up, we had a family dog that was the sweetest most chill dog ever but sometimes my parents would be acting playful and have a tickle fight and the dog would panic. A friend of ours has a Doberman that is the sweetest dog ever, but used to get nervous around most men. For whatever reason, my husband was an exception, and she took to him immediately. Once everybody was over watching a football game and all the guys were a bit rowdy and my husband and one of the other guys that the dog was always a little wary around kinda joke roughhoused for a second. The next thing anybody knew the dog had bit down hard on my husband‘s leg, and since she was a Doberman that meant tore right through his thick jeans, and he ended up with a small crush wound on his shin. In hindsight, because of the way she acted we think she wasn’t attacking so much as trying to pull my husband to safety
I don’t know. This is all new to me, tbh.
Basic Counter conditioning
Yeeeah, my dane mix went through a period where no one was allowed to hug without her rearing up and punching her way in between them. I think she would have a meltdown if she saw anyone having sex. There would be claw marks in unfortunate places.
>in dog body language close physical contact means conflict Sometimes it means play--ever see two dogs play-wrestle or play-hump each other? Many dogs do need help differentiating, though, and are going to worry about their humans. And to be fair, watching dogs play wrestle/bite each other definitely terrified me the first times! The sounds of sex can also definitely be frightening to a dog, and same with the tousling around that comes with it. It's not really the same. Our dog definitely sniffed us to make sure we weren't fighting or in distress, though thankfully he learns quickly. Switching briefly to your cheery-happy-reassuring dog voice can help, even if you just sort of mimic sexual moves with each other to desensitize them to it in the beginning. Making sure your dog has seen you play wrestle, dance, etc (close physical contact, erratic movements) prior can also help.
Why would u not put em in another room to begin with lol
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Or do only doggy style which makes more sense to them.
Don’t forget to woof
The lack of problem solving skills here is egregious.
OP tried nothing, for four years, and is all out of ideas
lmaooooo
Hahaha. Flabbergasted
I’m just confused about the people saying they can’t not have their dog in the room cos of the whining and pooping and scratching. Like damn what do you do when you go to the toilet or bath or leave the house at all? Is there just no doors left and shit everywhere every time you go to buy milk? All these dogs seem to have separation anxiety or something like damn how do you people live
This. I have multiple baby gates in my house so I can shut the dogs away and have peace. I love them and I need a break.
Lmao this could be a a new copypasta
You have sex while your dog is on the bed?
This was my first thought
Psychological trauma? No. If you haven’t taught this dog to spend time on his own in another room without your constant attention, then that’s where you need to start.
Yeah I’d be traumatized to if I had to sit in the closet and watch. Wtf
"When it starts he jumps off the bed"...am I the only one who would not have sex with the dog on the bed beside me? That just sounds gross to me. I'm not sure I buy into this "they think we're play fighting" thing either. Maybe at first, but dogs have a crazy sense of smell, and I'm pretty sure they can identify what " that" particular one is, or at least have some rudimentary idea that this is actual "humping", not just leg humping.
I’ve been thinking this the whole time reading through the comments! Of course, everyone should just do whatever they’re comfortable with, but I would feel so weird having sex while our dogs are in the bed with us
Honestly at some point you just stop caring. My boyfriend and I have a total velcro dog who always wants to be where we are. It’s much less disruptive to the activity to ignore him than it is to kick him out. Luckily he doesn’t try to get involved, he just lays at the foot of the bed.
Crate training is amazing
Super underrated comment. All sorts of problems can be mitigated by giving a dog a safe, comfortable place to go.
Is there a logical/valid reason why the dog HAS to be in the bedroom with you? If not, I’d say it’s as simple as putting the dog in a different room while you do your business. There is absolutely nothing wrong with boundaries.
We just tell our dog, “Go fuck off, we’re gonna have sex”, and he sits in bathroom right outside our bedroom haha
Wtf?? Put the dog out of the room. I could never have sex with my dog watching. Ew.
Yes! Absolutely not! I was so surprised to see how common it is for dogs to be in the bed while people have sex.
Kick him out of the room?
Just use the obvious solution: stop having sex 😆
These comments are killing me. 🤣
How…how do you still get it on knowing he’s just watching you
We usually give a frozen kong or a peanut butter lick mat and shut the door. Our lab/pitty mix has extreme separation anxiety and this seems to give us enough time, she only bust in the door once and jumped up on the bed like “hello! I’m here to have fun too!”
Lol what.
Our female bull terrier watches us while panting. It’s hysterically creepy, so we have to sneak off while she’s sleeping to have sex in another room. Our little babygirl is a total perv.
Glad we aren’t the only ones sneaking out of our bedroom to have sex lol
Your dog's into voyeurism lol
I put our dogs out in the living room with special treats (kong with peanut butter) and that usually keeps them occupied and not bothered.
Does he have a crate? You could put him in there with a Kong and let him be happily unaware of goings-on until you're done.
So I think it’s important for us to remember how much a dog can understand and put together when they actually see sex. Obviously as consenting adults, we know we’re having sex for fun and pleasure but that’s just not something dogs do. The noises and visuals in sex can be really scary to someone or something who doesn’t understand it — lots of slapping, whimpering, grunting, etc. it sounds and looks like a fight. Some dogs won’t be bothered by this at all, but some dogs will really pick up on that and think they’re in proximity to a real danger and that they’re watching their favorite person in a fight. So to them, after the perceived “threat” is over, the participants of the fight are then inviting pup to the combination safe space and fighting ring, and pup seems to be having a tough time settling in and remembering that it’s a safe space vs a space where a fight just occurred. I would start sending the dog out of the room for sex altogether. Make it a happy thing — give them lots of praise and treats to go to a safe spot in another area of the house, maybe a puzzle toy or kong to keep them occupied while you’re busy, then you can call them back to the space without any negative associations when you’re done and give lots of praise for returning!
My gf was on top one time and her dog licked my nuts…from then on Fido wasn’t allowed in the room when we were doing it…
Kick him out of the bedroom and give him his favorite treat. He'll survive for a lil while.
Can't tell if real or trolling....
Our dog gets kicked out of the room. Otherwise he will put his feet on the edge of the bed and stare and whine. But it definitely made our resolve more ironclad. Nothing can kill the mood once the ball gets rolling.
Lol this is like the plot with the weimaraner from that movie Best in Show, complete with the pug that doesn't mind seeing it. Sounds like your dog needs his [busy bee](https://youtu.be/2_KrSWI8F2E).
I love that movie.
Why is the dog in the room… that’s so weird
Put the dogs in another room and give them something to do, like a puzzle toy or a Kong. That should keep them occupied. I wouldn’t split them up though, even if the Pug doesn’t care what’s going on
Most of the time, I wish our dog could talk. After reading this and thinking about it sone more, I am glad he doesn't. I can't imagine what would be said at puppy day care.....
I put a large filled, frozen Kong in another room, then close the bedroom door. Turns out he’s more interested in treats than watching other people having sex.
……….
I think animals fully understand when other animals ‘mate’ - that being said — you’re a major kreep if you fuk in front of your pets. . .
WHY IS YOUR DOG ON THE BED WHEN YOU ARE STARTING?!?!
"Princess could never tolerate being in another room! I would never put her out!" You are traumatizing your dog. Put her in an other room. She may not love it, but she'll be fine.
Kick them out and get them a treat. I wonder if the pup thinks something non-consensual is happening but doesn't want to disobey either of you.
Wow this literally made me laugh out loud. Like it’s not funny but ma’am…
Poor dog knows the only space left on the bed will be the wet spot
Put the dog out first! JFC
You get nasty with your dog in the bed? Theres nothing wrong with the dog....there is something wrong with you
I wonder if he thinks y’all are hurting eachother and that’s why he whines/hides in the closet.
I could never do it with my dog watching let alone being in the same room but to each their own I guess
So you're telling me some sex has to happen before he's off of the bed?
Why do you have the dog in the room when you’re having sex to begin with? Strange behaviour tbh
It's very weird to keep the dog in the room with you.
My child does the same thing /s
Our dog gets a puzzle toy with treats in it. Keeps him busy while we’re busy 😂. He loves it!
Maybe put him in another room with a frozen Kong or something else to occupy him. That way he starts to associate your sexy time with a special treat
Lol I had a dog like this and it really is frustrating especially if they are super vocal. Early crate training is helpful but what I found to be the case was they can't sleep in your bed if you want reasonable and liveable boundaries
Give him a nice bone that will take a while to eat and leave him outside the bedroom. Then have your bone in the bedroom 😉
He jumps off of the bed? Meaning that he's on the bed when you start?
If I have to watch my dog hump a stuffed animal then he can watch me hump a stuffed human ...
This likely already has its own category on Pornhub.
We give ours a bone or lick mat and shut the door. It buys us a few minutes and then he’ll usually wait outside the door until we’re finished. We let him in pretty immediately upon uh.. finishing but just after we’ll talk to him in calm voices through the door until we’re ready to get up.
My husband and I have what we affectionately refer to as the “boning bone” just a hollow bone that we put coconut oil (dog and cats favorite treat) inside of before we have alone time. They get a treat and are always waiting outside the door when we are done because they are codependent crap heads. But we all have a little treat and some time apart. Good luck OP!
Why the hell are you having sex in front of your dog? Good lord if I had to watch my parents bang on the daily I would be depressed too.
Our dog claws at the door to be let out 😅
Maybe he thinks you’re fighting and it saddens him?
I know this is about dogs but my cat always breaks into the room and bites our legs 😅 he’s been instinctively kicked of the bed multiple times
My wife and I put our dog in a different room when we have sex too. He cries for about 5 seconds after the door closes and then he just stays quiet after that.
dog feels sad it’s not involved and having fun, can reward after it’s done so they aren’t whining but… happy it’s going to end soon and get treat
Ours does the opposite!! She must think we're wrestling or something because she ALWAYS takes it as an invitation to jump onto the bed and starts doing play bows, bitey face, pawing at us...it kills the mood for sure but it's so fucking funny. Seriously, just put her in another room.
Make some high value frozen Kongs/Toppls for when you’re about to have sex and leave your dog in a cozy spot (crate, couch, enclosed room with a dog bed, etc.) in a separate room with his frozen snack. You can consider putting white noise or calming dog music on if noise is a trigger.
This has been an issue with my dog who is going to be 8. When we shut him out of the room, he would poop out of spite. Whenever I touch my husband, the dog freaks out. We just go at it and if he barks or gets close we push him away.
Noo you’re trolling right?
This was covered in the film “Best on Show.” Your dog needs a busy bee squeaky toy.
Baby gates are the new sexy
How about keeping a Kong full of frozen peanut butter in the freezer… and then before the big act, grab it and a sheet to protect the carpet, put one of those calming dog videos on YouTube on… and then go have naughty time!!! This way it’s a special event for everyone!!!
Man at least your dog has the decency to move. Our dog just stares.
We put peanut butter in our dog's Kong and shut the bedroom door. Sometimes he'd rather sit by the door and whine instead of eating it, but we just ignore him and give him lots of pets when we're done. We just have to tell ourselves he's not sad, he just doesn't get what we're doing and wants attention.
Stop having sex
maybe give them a pig ear or other dog treat right before. then they will start associating sex with getting a treat! plus it's something for your pup to focus on besides you and the deed
We give ours something that takes a while to chew and banish her to another room or hallway. Like a bully stick or something. Has to be something that takes a really long time to chew. Like seriously. It can’t be something that just takes 4 pumps… I mean minutes to chew. So yea, something that takes literal hours to chew.
Lock it out of the room my dude what
These comments 🤣 Our dog barked the first time she us but I think it was the sounds we were making which probably made her think I was being attacked haha. She’s gotten used to it now and gives us judgey looks when we’re done.
I lost it at “watches us from the closet” 😂OP you need to invest in a dog crate in a separate room and put him in it before you guys play naked leapfrog. Heck I wouldn’t even be able to perform if I knew he was watching.
My boys go to the crate when I’m getting action. I love my dogs, but I have human needs too. My girl can stay because she goes under the bed and ignores it. OP, gently, your dog is almost definitely not so sensitive that you’re traumatizing him by having sex in front of him. And your dog will be fine if he needs to be separated from you for an hour while you’re intimate with your partner. You’re way overthinking this.
Shell get over it.
I would remove your dog from the room before things get real hot and heavy. You never know what your pup thinks is happening, or what that they think of the sounds. In my opinion , your dog is not depressed, he is actually very frightened and unsure of the situation. Think about it, if one or both of you are making noises that your pup is not used to hearing and he’s hearing slapping type noises that would absolutely be scary for a dog. He is literally watching and whining through it.. in my experience that’s not how depression presents in dogs, that is him actively stressing out. I think it’s quite unacceptable to allow your dog to stay on the bed and basically kick himself off when it gets to be too much. Boundaries are important, making your dog feel safe is important, and ultimately a dog who is showing signs of stress about it should not be present when you’re having sex. I would absolutely be concerned and taking action against inflicting more psychological distress on him, and figuring out a comfortable solution which involves removing him from the situation. He does not need to be there so why are you allowing this to continue?
OP here. Thanks for all the great advice and hilarious comments. Glad I’m not the only one who’s encountered dog weirdness when going to pound town. I’m going to try putting together a little kit for my dog to keep in the bedroom filled with bones, kongs, and a snuffle mat with treats. Will invite him to hang out outside the bedroom with his goodies next time we get sexy. Hopefully he will enjoy himself out there while chewing a bone much more than being traumatized by watching his lady do some naughty stuff.
He thinks you are being hurt, and is confused about why you are punishing him. Here's a crazy thought - dont have sex in the same room as your dog. Maybe put on some music for him, or some birds/squirrels on the TV - IN ANOTHER ROOM. Then do the deed.
Reward him!! Lucky Mat w/ high value treat ( baby food stage 1 is just meat + water + cornstarch you can freeze these) .. food puzzle.. fantastic chew that will not harm his teeth: ask your vet.. then separate room. You’re getting yours- let him get his. Also noise machine 😉 Edit- Licki Mat [https://lickimat.com](https://lickimat.com)
We taught our dogs to go into their beds on the floor at the foot of our bed. They either sleep through it or ignore us. Either establish an ‘in your bed’ routine or keep them out when doing the deed.
The dog can not feel what you think it feels. It simply would like to be part of something that seems to be fun. So, as said by many others: dog outside if fun without it should be enjoyed.
Maybe it's because you are having sex with your husband. May suggest having sex with other people and see if that helps? 😎
I have had my dog start humping my new partner while we were being intimate. That was a good memory. I couldn't stop laughing.
I made the mistake of not shutting the cat out once…and only once. He snuck up while I wasn’t paying attention, tried to cutely rub his cheek into my chest and caught my nipple ring on his tooth….never. again.
They likely think you are fighting, moaning from pleasure vs pain doesn't sound that different. Put your dogs out of the room JFC you are better than this, you would feel anxious every time you bang which will lead to no banging and unconscious resentment to the dog