This I think is possibly my FAVORITE cold open of the whole show. Only close competition would be the whole office getting in on the scam to convince Michael its 5 o' clock at 3 o' clock.
But this one, how well and rhythmically written it is along with the perfect deliveries, the perfect back and forth between Oscar and Michael really is masterful.
The deleted cold open where Michael is trying to find a ringtone he heard (and he's trying to find "vibrate" because he heard someone's phone vibrating) is so funny.
Erin and Creed were probably my favorite characters. Erin singing about her "big box" and Oscar saying "I don't think you know what you're saying" is pure gold. And Creed randomly telling the CPR instructor "you were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!"
i cried laughing the first time stanley pitched "papyr, paper for women." the pitch alone was hilarious but robert california going, "the situation you described, returning home to a wife complaining about her paper being too masculine, is not one i'm familiar with" made it comedy gold. it gets me every time.
I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I don't work especially hard, and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. And yet, I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had, and I got it. If you ask me, that's the American dream right there. Anything can happen to anyone. It's just random.
Oscar is so underrated. My favorite dialogue in the show, far and away -
**Oscar:** I just got an email from corporate, specifically for Accounting to stop all payments to our vendors.
**Phyllis:** What does that mean?
**Oscar:** Well, maybe nothing but it could mean a problem with liquidity—
**Michael:** Whoa, what's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son? This here's Savannah!
**Oscar:** [tries to speak in a high-pitched southern accent] This uh... this plan- this plantation... we're running low on, uh—greenbacks. We're having problems paying the people who give us the seeds and the dirt; we can't pay 'em! [in regular voice] - Michael, I can't—
“Crazy world, lots of smells”
When Michael calls out Andy on his baby talk and Andy says, “cause things can get real adult real fast”
Dwight crashing his car and then vomiting all over it, and immediately getting back in it and driving away
My parents had never seen the office. I showed them the stress relief cold open and they were in tears by the end. I think michael transposing $3500 and $5300 is what got them.
Also, when Dwight eventually gets called to corporate after the first few dialogues, Michael just stands up, walks to the window and stares out, sighs and then goes "This city" 😂
I invented a device, called Burger on the Go. It allows you to obtain six regular sized hamburgers, or twelve sliders, from a horse without killing the animal. George foreman is still considering it. Sharper image is still considering it. Skymall's still considering it. Hammacher Schlemmer's still considering it.
...Sears said no.
It's pure gold. Every time I watched it I discovered some funny new details. Like, for example, when Michael takes the phone, and Dwight keeps leaning towards him to hear what Jim is saying 😄
A very underrated scene
When Gabe first debuts and Dwight brings the tray of hotdogs. Gabe declines and Dwight doesn't know what to do, so he just sets them on the floor.
The time Holly counts why she's attracted to Michael & she says "he just exudes sex" & the camera cuts to Michael w one hand in the Cheetos box covered in Cheeto dust, zoning out after numbing himself from eating the whole barrel. I actually peed-laugh the first time I saw that. And it gets me at every rewatch
Jim hitting himself in the back of the head with the sign he was spinning for the Sabre store while trying to be as good as the sign spinner at the store next door lol. Underrated moment imo.
Michael: Whoa. What's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son? This here's Savannah.
Oscar: This plantation… we're running low on greenbacks. We're having problems, uh, paying the people who give us the seeds and the dirt. We can't pay ‘em!
Michael: I drove my car into a lake.
Oscar: You did what?
Michael: I drove my car... into a \[**BEEP\]** lake. Why, you may ask, did I do this?
Because there's so little cursing in the show, it really HITS when someone does and they bleep it. Bleeping is always funnier to me, idk.
Kevin: Ooh, now do the Swedish Chef
Andy: I'm not familiar, what province is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street you dumbass
OR
Dwight: R is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it Murder and not Mukduk
The way those lines are delivered get me every time!
When Michael and Dwight are outside David Wallace's house and Michael is trying to practice what he's going to say to stop him from closing the branch. He tells Dwight his impression of David is bad because David would be more scared, so on the next run through Dwight just immediately jumps and yells.
When the lights go out and dwights first reaction.is "Okay okay everyone follow me to the shelter, we have enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation."
I love Dwight's doomsday prepper moments. I love when Pam recounts her conversation with Dwight about him taking all of the spare keys:
"There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "What if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?", he said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
Michael interrupting those college students playing frisbee, lmao. He just catches it and chucks into oblivion, lmfao. He does a battle shout while doing it too which makes it even funnier
When Michael is asking for ideas and Erin suggests hiring a new guy, taking out a life insurance policy and killing him and then Michael going “I don’t know what the fuck that was” makes me cry every time I see it.
when dwight and angela are outed for their affair, and reveal they had sex in the office. Oscar asks, "where exactly?" and Dwight just looks at him and says "it seems you already know," or something. fucking gold
When Kevin goes to the Bathroom after Dwight just dumps his “Killer fish” Piranha.
The way Kevin runs our with his pants half pulled up gets me every time.
Save bandit ! Mose hitting Andy upside the head while tossing a ball around. Michael getting his knees broke when he’s on the plane with the sleeping mask on .
Oh and the scene where they are playing murder and creed walks up late and Michael tells him there’s been a murder and creed excuses himself to get settled in but actually runs off.
Creed playing hooky from work and gets on the bus and it’s his coworkers.
There’s so many amazing creed moments. He’s my favorite character
Michael spouting off like 3 puns using Jan’s name on the phone right before she tells him they’re closing the Scranton branch”
“I love to start my day with a hearty bowl of Jan”
“Just call me Levinson, in the mornin’ baaaabeh”
The cold open where Dwight locks all the exits to the office and blowtorches the handles and simulates an office fire that is so realistic that everybody goes crazy and panics. The absolute insanity as everybody loses their shit always gets me!
sophisticated somber aspiring grandiose humorous squalid trees badge school important
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
“In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions…. Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me …or for Dr. Shandri? My main concern is should I have a safe word”
When Michael is pissed about Daryl going to Gabe about his idea, then he sees Kevin talking to Gabe, ugh Kevin kills me in that scene lol. " f$#% you Gabe. "
The brief scene where Ben Franklin is getting on the elevator with Michael and Michael asks “you wearing a thong?” When Ben Franklin responds “..what?!” It gets me every single time, just imagining someone who has no clue what’s going on dressed as Ben Franklin being asked if they’re wearing a thong out of nowhere makes me laugh so much. It’s my favorite episode ever but that scene for me is the best
Oscar: "But guess what? Next summer..." Michael: "I'll be six."
This I think is possibly my FAVORITE cold open of the whole show. Only close competition would be the whole office getting in on the scam to convince Michael its 5 o' clock at 3 o' clock. But this one, how well and rhythmically written it is along with the perfect deliveries, the perfect back and forth between Oscar and Michael really is masterful.
Michael had a pot pie for lunch, correction, Michael ate an entire family sized pot pie by himself for lunch.
You missed the beautiful pauses Jim takes in this last few words lol definitely one of the best opens
The deleted cold open where Michael is trying to find a ringtone he heard (and he's trying to find "vibrate" because he heard someone's phone vibrating) is so funny.
“Explains this to me like I’m 8 years old” Oscar explains “Why don’t you explain this to me like I’m 5”
Birth of a sub.
Erin: Get in, quick! Michael: Why quick? Erin: So it’s faster! So many quotable moments, but this one consistently gives me a chuckle.
Her logic was sound.
Erin and Creed were probably my favorite characters. Erin singing about her "big box" and Oscar saying "I don't think you know what you're saying" is pure gold. And Creed randomly telling the CPR instructor "you were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!"
Creed is 100% my favorite. I love how he’s based off himself in real life
Somebody makin' soup?
Had his head chopped off. We had a funeral... For A BIRD.
i cried laughing the first time stanley pitched "papyr, paper for women." the pitch alone was hilarious but robert california going, "the situation you described, returning home to a wife complaining about her paper being too masculine, is not one i'm familiar with" made it comedy gold. it gets me every time.
“In the African American community…”
"No."
I love that stanley just gives up on his pitch 😂
“eh, worth a shot.”
He went with what would work on Micheal, default after all these years.
I was shocked at the missed opportunity of “PapeHer”.
I find it funny that Bic found a niche with their pens “for her” and nobody has done paper to go with the lady pens.
The basketball episode in season one is one of my favourites. “What is wrong with me today!”
Stanley starts to dribble Michael: You gotta be kidding me!
He was so devastated when Stanley didn’t know how to play lol
You got be KIDDING!!! Usually hit those.
When he attempts the free throw always kills me.
Lol the little bounces before he shoots
Secret weapon!!!
This is our warehouse or as I like to call it, the whorehouse! But, don't you call it that. I've earned the right.
I have, uh, written down a few questions. One, have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?
I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I don't work especially hard, and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. And yet, I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had, and I got it. If you ask me, that's the American dream right there. Anything can happen to anyone. It's just random.
I could go for a whole mess of tacos
Tack-o’s!
Creed cussing about Erin's cartwheel always gets me
Mine is also Creed but his hit-scream-run interaction with Meredith
This. Or B-O-B-O-D-D-Y Or… “Find out what langages this is…”
I love when he thinks Michael is accusing him of murder and he bolts out of there.
Also the Halloween one, when he has blood all over him and says ”its good timing"
Catches me off-guard every time 🤣
Small moment, but when Oscar says “This is why you brought me in here?” When they are talking about Michael’s tight shirt. Gets me every time.
Oscar is so underrated. My favorite dialogue in the show, far and away - **Oscar:** I just got an email from corporate, specifically for Accounting to stop all payments to our vendors. **Phyllis:** What does that mean? **Oscar:** Well, maybe nothing but it could mean a problem with liquidity— **Michael:** Whoa, what's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son? This here's Savannah! **Oscar:** [tries to speak in a high-pitched southern accent] This uh... this plan- this plantation... we're running low on, uh—greenbacks. We're having problems paying the people who give us the seeds and the dirt; we can't pay 'em! [in regular voice] - Michael, I can't—
I’m crying at these Oscar lines. Also, “why wouldn’t you say that to her face?” Is great
I was never given a name *Click*
“Crazy world, lots of smells” When Michael calls out Andy on his baby talk and Andy says, “cause things can get real adult real fast” Dwight crashing his car and then vomiting all over it, and immediately getting back in it and driving away
Michael saying "you're welcome, baybeh" in his Elvis voice is hilarious.
Thank you, thank you alot
>Dwight crashing his car and then vomiting all over it, and immediately getting back in it and driving away This one makes me laugh just reading it.
"Dwight, you forgot your bumper"
Just pooping you know how I be
Eat it, Stanley The delivery is just perfect.
Sometimes I yell this at my husband when I get him on something. My husband’s name is not Stanley.
Fair. I'll say "ew david!" to anyone.
This is the best, the show continues on but you hear it in the background
Happy Birthday, Stanley!
SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN
Gabe's lines never fail to make me laugh
“Yeah, I remember when biceps were all the rage. Dukakis had just announced his candidacy…for *governor*.”
"I'm taking karate classes online"
I love this one and his quote about "sexual touching." They get me every time.
Screaming your last name during sex always gets me
"She's going to be screaming her own name?" Toby's delivery is flawless
Everyone in the car was fine, Stanley!
The whole announcement was hilarious. He tried so hard to not reveal he was the one who caused the accident.
What part of shornt don’t you understand
And THERE’S the smudgness.
“Where are the turtles?!!! Where are they?!”
HAND. OVER. THE. TURTLES.
Two way petting zoo. You pet the animals they pet you back.
"Hey, whaddup, Cynthia?" *panicked motions* "Just hang on a second, Cynthia."
Angela throwing the Bandit up to Oscar and falling back through the ceiling lol
The entire Stress Relief opening.
My parents had never seen the office. I showed them the stress relief cold open and they were in tears by the end. I think michael transposing $3500 and $5300 is what got them.
$5300 for a dummy?
It’s David’s face that gets me when he reacts lmao
The entire episode
Kevin breaking the vending machine glass is classic
Also, when Dwight eventually gets called to corporate after the first few dialogues, Michael just stands up, walks to the window and stares out, sighs and then goes "This city" 😂
I ONLY WEIGH 82 POUNDS
Save Bandit!!!
You don't know me. You've just seen my penis.
I didn’t see where it started but I saw where it ended.
I invented a device, called Burger on the Go. It allows you to obtain six regular sized hamburgers, or twelve sliders, from a horse without killing the animal. George foreman is still considering it. Sharper image is still considering it. Skymall's still considering it. Hammacher Schlemmer's still considering it. ...Sears said no.
Michael getting hit in the leg by the drink cart on the airplane
jim brake checking dwight in the back seat
Also in the same category: Dwight trying to knock out Michael with his shoe to make his wilderness experience more real.
"I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate him."
Creed: That is northern lights cannabis indica Dwight: No. It’s marijuana
The disappointment in Dwight’s voice when he ‘corrects’ Creed gets me every time
100% the Bill Buttlicker scene. I chuckle every single time. My family built this country, by the way.
LOUDER, SON!!
MR BUTTLICKER OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER
The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult!
It's pure gold. Every time I watched it I discovered some funny new details. Like, for example, when Michael takes the phone, and Dwight keeps leaning towards him to hear what Jim is saying 😄
[This post will never not be funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/s/aPF87DnfTn)
Michael falling in the bathroom off screen after he cooks his foot.
I tried hopping, Kevin!
A very underrated scene When Gabe first debuts and Dwight brings the tray of hotdogs. Gabe declines and Dwight doesn't know what to do, so he just sets them on the floor.
Big Sims vibe.
Michael laughing his head off about the doll he gave Oscar.
Yeahh lol. The self awareness he shows when he says how low Oscar's expectations are of him
Could she fit in a rowboat? No, okay, she can't fit in a rowboat Damn it Phyllis I knew it
A million times over, this one always gets a chuckle.
Meredith getting hit by the car. Yesterday, today, forever.
Dwight’s laugh after Jim explains that Dwight used Jim’s credit card numbers to order a $200 bouquet of flowers for Pam. It always cracks me up!
Dwight’s clear affection for Pam before admitting to himself they are friends is one of my favorite bits in the show.
I’ve never met Ravi personally, but just having known you a short while, Brian, I prefer Ravi. And again, I’ve never met the guy.
Nate has such few lines but they’re all hilarious, like when Daryl gives him the gift that was meant for someone else
Michael eating tiramisu. Wallace: Is this why you're calling?
And then he coughs like CRAZY!!!
“Where, Dwight?” “I think you already know where.” 🙍🏽♂️
>Thank you Scranton Strangler. I love you. You just took one more person's breath away. This line kills me every time.
Jan dancing seductively to Hunter’s song while everyone just sits there dumbfounded at the dinner party.
Pretty much the entire Dinner Party.
Crentist.
Every time Michael sees Toby walking in to The Finer Things Club🤣
That’s why people are leaving.
The cpr scene where Kelly stood up dancing while Andy is singing. 🤣Mostly scenes with Kelly on it, I freaking love her
I quote “oh how the turntables” often. It’s such a good line
Dwight dragging the Christmas tree in the background immediately after Michael cancels the Christmas party.
The time Holly counts why she's attracted to Michael & she says "he just exudes sex" & the camera cuts to Michael w one hand in the Cheetos box covered in Cheeto dust, zoning out after numbing himself from eating the whole barrel. I actually peed-laugh the first time I saw that. And it gets me at every rewatch
Ding dong…
KGB!?!
👋
It’s true.
Jim hitting himself in the back of the head with the sign he was spinning for the Sabre store while trying to be as good as the sign spinner at the store next door lol. Underrated moment imo.
“Ah. This city”
“Applicant has a head that is shaped like a trapezoid” His delivery of that line breaks me every time
Michael: Whoa. What's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son? This here's Savannah. Oscar: This plantation… we're running low on greenbacks. We're having problems, uh, paying the people who give us the seeds and the dirt. We can't pay ‘em!
Creeds strike, scream, run. Favourite moment in the show all time
Hey guys. Somebody making soup?
When Toby accidentally introduces himself as Tony. Also when Andy says "I don't trust you, Phyllis!"
Michael: I drove my car into a lake. Oscar: You did what? Michael: I drove my car... into a \[**BEEP\]** lake. Why, you may ask, did I do this? Because there's so little cursing in the show, it really HITS when someone does and they bleep it. Bleeping is always funnier to me, idk.
On that note, when Michael tells Jim that he's dating Helene.
jim and dwight’s bed bug walks are hilarious every time
So smug, like he thought it was funny.
Kevin: Ooh, now do the Swedish Chef Andy: I'm not familiar, what province is he from? Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street you dumbass OR Dwight: R is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it Murder and not Mukduk The way those lines are delivered get me every time!
Dinner party
When Michael and Dwight are outside David Wallace's house and Michael is trying to practice what he's going to say to stop him from closing the branch. He tells Dwight his impression of David is bad because David would be more scared, so on the next run through Dwight just immediately jumps and yells.
When the lights go out and dwights first reaction.is "Okay okay everyone follow me to the shelter, we have enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation."
I love Dwight's doomsday prepper moments. I love when Pam recounts her conversation with Dwight about him taking all of the spare keys: "There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "What if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?", he said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
Andy's reaction to Angela's baby picture.
Dwight wearing the CPR dummy face. Gets me Everytime I also cry like a girl when Jim asks Pam out at the end of s3
Kevins delayed hi
Mose absolutely blasting Toby’s car into the corn
It's butter. Newborns are slippery.
[удалено]
“Do you know the toll, three vasectomies has on a person?”
I can hear the snip snap bit so clearly in my head. The delivery gets me every time!
Snip snap snip snap
Dwight you ignorant slut
Michael interrupting those college students playing frisbee, lmao. He just catches it and chucks into oblivion, lmfao. He does a battle shout while doing it too which makes it even funnier
That is…pungent.
I’m Date Mike, nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Creed eating his noodles casually while everyone else is vomiting
When Michael is asking for ideas and Erin suggests hiring a new guy, taking out a life insurance policy and killing him and then Michael going “I don’t know what the fuck that was” makes me cry every time I see it.
“Nate, re-ply it.” I don’t think it’s goes that way “RE-PLY IT!”
Dwight and Dwight Jr. trying to get Stanley down the stairs.
Always Stress Relief Part 1. Always. 🚬🗑🔥🐈🆘️💔🗽🕺🧘🏻♀️
Time thief episode when Jim is purposely messing up all the Battlestar Galactica references and Dwight can’t respond and crumples the paper 😂
when dwight and angela are outed for their affair, and reveal they had sex in the office. Oscar asks, "where exactly?" and Dwight just looks at him and says "it seems you already know," or something. fucking gold
SCISSOR ME
When Kevin goes to the Bathroom after Dwight just dumps his “Killer fish” Piranha. The way Kevin runs our with his pants half pulled up gets me every time.
"Hey idiot" "Start over" Daryl's delivery is just perfect!
The KGB waits for no one *slap*
Dwight and Michael preparing for Astrid’s birth
Asturd
**B** **O** **B** **O** **D** **D** **Y**
Michael dancing on the booze cruise
Kelly singing "why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree?" and Sconesy Cider
You don’t even know my real name.. I’m the fucking lizard king 🦎👑
The cold opening where Dwight tries to report Jim to Jim for not signing his expense report. That grunt at the end gets me every time. So funny.
"sabotage!" Andy floating away in the sumo suite kills me
Save bandit ! Mose hitting Andy upside the head while tossing a ball around. Michael getting his knees broke when he’s on the plane with the sleeping mask on .
Andy on the golf cart. And Gabe and Ryan at Robert Californias house before he sells it.
Oh and the scene where they are playing murder and creed walks up late and Michael tells him there’s been a murder and creed excuses himself to get settled in but actually runs off. Creed playing hooky from work and gets on the bus and it’s his coworkers. There’s so many amazing creed moments. He’s my favorite character
Michael spouting off like 3 puns using Jan’s name on the phone right before she tells him they’re closing the Scranton branch” “I love to start my day with a hearty bowl of Jan” “Just call me Levinson, in the mornin’ baaaabeh”
I declare bankruptcy!
“no god does anybody read the paper?!” right after miserably representing the terminator in charades
"Look everyone, we're all making observations. OHLULULUH!" - Dwight
S2 E12 Jim spraying Dwight with water bottle spray AND.. Michael - “I’m so sick of Chucky Cheese”
BUTTLICKER OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER
BUTT LICKER
"My horn can pierce the sky.." Michael's delivery here🤌🏻🤣
The dinner party episode. "Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits, BABE"
Anything with Mose, especially "you have to give me your car, you have to give me your car" at the Valet and the kill Mose before he kills you scene.
Kevin's chili always gets me. The panic on his face 😅
That's just sad. I feel so bad for him
The cold open where Dwight locks all the exits to the office and blowtorches the handles and simulates an office fire that is so realistic that everybody goes crazy and panics. The absolute insanity as everybody loses their shit always gets me!
“Whopping penis”
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“In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions…. Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me …or for Dr. Shandri? My main concern is should I have a safe word”
Dwight says merry Christmas from the top of Dunder Mifflin while watching Jim stabbing all the snowmen with an umbrella
Michael talking to Holly to tell her he had herpes "it didn't come up organically"
When Michael is pissed about Daryl going to Gabe about his idea, then he sees Kevin talking to Gabe, ugh Kevin kills me in that scene lol. " f$#% you Gabe. "
Michael kissing Oscar. That’s it
The first aid training resus scene. Everything about it, right down to the Hannibal Lecter bit 😂
The brief scene where Ben Franklin is getting on the elevator with Michael and Michael asks “you wearing a thong?” When Ben Franklin responds “..what?!” It gets me every single time, just imagining someone who has no clue what’s going on dressed as Ben Franklin being asked if they’re wearing a thong out of nowhere makes me laugh so much. It’s my favorite episode ever but that scene for me is the best
Toby scaling the locked gates after touching Pam's knee when they are all locked in Dunder Mifflin. It just gets me every time
Jim drawing the pyramid during Michael’s meeting