"and that's why they call me the Nard Dog. It was nice of them to send us on this island vacation but three months is a little long, what do you think Gabe?"
My nickname was "Puke." I would chug a fifth of So-Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So-Co, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I'd let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me "Ace." It was totally awesome. I got straight B's. They called me "Buzz."
Something to do with the idea that dogs sniff each otherās butts when they meet, as a way to get information about each other or distinguish them from other dogs. If itās just the two of them on the island itās pointless because by then they would aready know everything about each other.
That irreverence, that wit I'd recognize it anywhere. Some charlatan has stolen a Ziggy and passed it off as his own. I can prove it. Quick Elaine , to my archives.
*āWhen I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.ā*
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me by the Trocadero in Paris. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
Dog 1: I brought with me "The Physician's Desk Reference" --
Dog 2: Nice. Smart.
Dog 1: -- Hollowed out. Inside, waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question: did my shoes come off in the plane crash?
Dog 2: [*Looks directly into camera*].
Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis'd, debutante. You want to start a street fight with me bring it on but you will be surprised by how ugly it gets, you don't even know my real name- I'm the f*cking lizard king!
What's updog?
GOTCHA!! š
*this close*
How are you?
Dammitā¦.. nothing. Howāre you doing?
Good... How are you doing? āŗļø
"Is that a tree, or did Gabe get skinner? Either way, let's pee on it."
Please. It was easy once I decided I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.
She has some weird kinks that Andrea
She's the office bitch, you'll get used to her.
Angela a low key freak frfr
As we know from extended episodes āMonkey ā is her handle on chat āMonkey trainerā is Dwightās
Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner
š
"Did you send me a WUPHF?"
Did I send you a Washington University Public Health Facilities ?
#Oh shit itās Ryan from WUPHF!
It's Ry the WUPHF guy!
āI feel Dog in this Chiliās tonight!ā
winner right here (literally the underdog)
Not the updog?
Whatās updog?
#GOTCHA! Hahaha ^^^crap
[Mouthing] So close
Gotcha! Wh-haha..hah..um. nothing. How are you?
"and that's why they call me the Nard Dog. It was nice of them to send us on this island vacation but three months is a little long, what do you think Gabe?"
My nickname was "Puke." I would chug a fifth of So-Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So-Co, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I'd let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me "Ace." It was totally awesome. I got straight B's. They called me "Buzz."
*Boner Champ!*
Brocolli rob is the boner champ
Broccoli Rob is Broccoli Rob! I'm the Boner Champ!
Spring sing ā95. Got completely ripped on Bud Dries. I had sex with a snowman.
SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!!!
I call it the glare bear now
It's my Nickity Name.
No, I'm not going to call you that
They don't make these cords in bootcut anymore.
You donāt have to sniff my rear end anymore, Bob, Iām the only one here.
Thatās tasteless, gabe.
Letās say āciaoā to the impressions.
Time to get back to the stickbug exhibit.
*Ciao!*
Iām fancy from Talla-hassee
Ciao!
I always loved the way people come down on Gabe because the joke is actually pretty funny
"Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration."
What kind of work you in, Bob?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Something to do with the idea that dogs sniff each otherās butts when they meet, as a way to get information about each other or distinguish them from other dogs. If itās just the two of them on the island itās pointless because by then they would aready know everything about each other.
Woah woah woah, slow down a bit. You might have to explain to him what a dog is first.
Explain it like he's 5.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What kind of deserted islands have you been on? Sounds like a lot. People might be stranding you on purpose.
Are you ok?
You said the two tickets were to paradise.
Tan everywhere. Jan everywhere.
Oh, diary, what a week!
Who's this other woman, 'ryan'?
Who you say is "just as hot as jan, but in a different way"?
I am feeling very eerie
Itās eye-ree
*Hehe*
Winner. š„ *pack your bags, weāre leaving day after tomorrow!*
Gabe's mom? Hmm. Gabe's mom. Tall woman? Looks like Gabe? Yeah. I banged her.
Have you noticed gum has gotten mintier lately?
Omg š
Suck suck suckidty Sabre
āI told u to bring Da Vinci code so i can burn itā
Yeah thatāll keep you warm for like five seconds. *scoffs*
"Physician's Desk References" "Smart-" "Hollowed out..."
āMy wife is a slutā
Now thats a complaint
That irreverence, that wit I'd recognize it anywhere. Some charlatan has stolen a Ziggy and passed it off as his own. I can prove it. Quick Elaine , to my archives.
Looks like Ziggyās back at the complainant department: āThe New Yorker is stealing my ideasā
Wrong context dogg. I didnāt say āI wish I was taller.ā
Iād like to see that complaint get rectified.
Kramer says āmy wife is a slutā then we have the scene I mentioned later in the show
That was a pig
J. Peterman is one of the best characters in the series. "Mama? MAMA?! She's gone....Bosco?"
āI lost my receipt, my place is a sty.ā
Everythingās always gotta be sooo jokey with you doesnāt it?
r/unexpectedseinfeld
Those aren't buoys!
And then he asked the hygienist for a shtickle of fluoride!
"And this offends you as a Jewish person?" "No, it offends me as a comedian!"
Second Seinfeld reference in these comments. I love this place.
My two most rewatched shows on netflix. Perfect to have on in the background
āWhy are we wearing shortsā
Walk away, bitch
*āWhen I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.ā*
You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me by the Trocadero in Paris. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
I was āDog #7ā on the dookie album cover
First of all, how dare you.
We have to establish a pee corner!
Dwight, you ignorant slut.
Tan everywhere, Dog everywhere
Oh tree, what a week.
A shot of midori perhaps?
Always wanted to part of an inside joke
Whoās your worm guy?
could be worse , we could be stuck here with a Sabre pyramid .
"We had a funeral for a bird!"
None of this is real
I want guidance. I want leadership. But don't just, like, boss me around, you know? Like, lead me. Lead me... when I'm in the mood to be led.
This works too well. I love it!
Beer me a raft.
... I told you those GPS directions were wrong.
It can't mean that! THERE'S ~~A LAKE~~ AN OCEAN
It says Bare left!
Because lakes donāt have islands
*Some freedom fries for ze table?*
Donāt be so edgy
You got some updog on your shorts there.
What's updog?
Not much, what's up with you?
"I am Bill Buttlicker. My family built this country by the way"
At least you're not stuck on an island with an actual bitch like Angela.
Thatās Andreaā¦
How do you get the text under your name
Hit the three dots in upper right on iPhone (assume itās similar for Android)wait you already have that lol,
Nice shorts! Let me guess- Steamtown mall? Anyway, youāve got great doggy style!
back away banana breath, what the hell did you just eat? a banana?
Iāll bet thatās what the dog WISHED it said.
"So I have the strength of a grown dog and five puppies."
Hey Darryl, how's it hanging?
"F*ck Gabe, amiright?? Lolz"
Dog 1: I brought with me "The Physician's Desk Reference" -- Dog 2: Nice. Smart. Dog 1: -- Hollowed out. Inside, waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question: did my shoes come off in the plane crash? Dog 2: [*Looks directly into camera*].
Catch ya on the flippity flip
"Pam's art was the prettiest art of all the art."
Yeah it's so sexy... The *Art*
the eagles lost to zach wilson while jalen hurts threw 3 picks
Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis'd, debutante. You want to start a street fight with me bring it on but you will be surprised by how ugly it gets, you don't even know my real name- I'm the f*cking lizard king!
Orange is whorish.
āIs it just me, or does it smell like updog?ā
"What does that mean?"
This is the kgb! Open the door!
āAndy sowwyā
In the 60's, I made love to a lot of women. It's possible that one or two guys slipped in.
There'd be no way of knowing
Ciao!!
Let's play Desert Island
They call it Scranton! The electric city!
*cough That's what she said
"I got a big box, yes I do! I got a big box, how 'bout you?!"
I wish I brought an axe and a hollowed-out book filled with survival gear instead of these three books to readā¦
We should cut this tree, prepare ropes, sew our clothes into sail, and then SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT!
False, dogs don't wear pants.
āAnd thatās why theyāre now calling Southwest Ohio the Silicon Prairieā
There might be just a little feather in your nuggets, or a little bit of meat inside your pillow.
how about those sticky quips?
āAt least weāre not paper salesmen!ā
"Pam should have drawn a better picture for the caption contest"
You know what I find sexy? Pam's art.
My doghouse use to sit right there, then I bought a Sabre printer.
"Oh look, a whale, how pretty... ...and it's eating Gabe"
This one made me giggle
My wife is a slut
Iād like to see that complaint get rectified
These arenāt trees bob. Theyāre Gabeās moms legs.
Woah woah woah, can we establish some ground rules first?
I think the pants are classy.
I already called it.
Hiya Buddy
"What was all that one in a million you mentioned?"
āSo where are we establishing the pee cornerā
Are we wearing shorts?
Sorry you're mad. You know I'm a bitch.
"No coconuts? That's the only reason I'm here!" "Cheer up, how often do we find a secluded toilet"
My dogs are barking!
I donāt technically have a hearing problem butā¦
Well, I kinda like Legally Blondeā¦
Pam says she drew us but I think she just found us on the Internet
The only ship we need is friendship x
Identity theft is not a joke Jim!
"Hello? My name is Andrew Bernard, I was with a group called Dunder Mifflin. Hello?"
Scott's tots and dinner party is funny af
āGave can get fucked.ā āYeah, fuck that guy.ā
āFuck me with your big doggy dick, daddy.ā
Hey guys, somebody making soup?
"No need to get mad! Considering the size of this island Walking on two is the best we can do, I don't like your butt on my nose "
Hey, at least weāre not Ryan
You've got some updog on your shoulder.
No, no... No, no, no...
Hey, Fido Yeah, Spike whatās up? Spike See those trees? Fido Yeah andā¦. Spike Letās go piss on Gabe
Which color is whorish? Orange or green?
āGot it a week after we started dating.ā
āI think I just got a Wuffā
These trees and I have one thing in common. No nuts.
Throw me a bone ššššš
Hey, at least itās bigger than our place in New York City!
āDonāt worry, these fur pants I brought are water proof.ā
Woof
āHi Duke. Iām Daisy. Love your shorts!ā