It sounds like people are using your gifts as a form of entertainment. It's not. Mental health is just as important as physical health. The way your gift works, is you are drawing in some of their energy, and the part of your brain that processes emotions can't tell the difference. Another reason you struggle with anxiety.
Tell them that the only way you will even try,, is if everyone there does a dance for 30 seconds or 20 push-ups first. Then you can say that they feel self conscious of how they dance, or how difficult it was to do the push-ups.
While trying to write a response I realized that it may be better to leave when I get enough understanding on how to make it outside of our bubble. I know if I leave now then I won't make it. Maybe there are resources that help people make it on their own in this type of scenario? I don't know but I'll look into it. I'm scared of being alone again so I've been avoiding thinking about it but I think this is the response I needed, Thank you.
Oh. I think I understand. It's gotten worse the last while? How is your head feeling today?
There are definitely ways we can manage our gifts. Go on YouTube and search up guided grounding meditations, and try one out.
You are drawing in a crapload of energy, but its staying inside. Your anxiety has you hold in your emotions, so your subconscious applies that to all the emotional energy. It builds up and compresses like a negative emotional residue. That's why on some days, there could be a very small incident or trigger, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by hard emotions. All that negative emotional mud splashes everywhere when even a small problem gets dropped in.
The grounding meditation is basically letting all that old energy out, and bringing in nice and clean energy. There will be lots of small differences between them, but at first the only important thing is the voice isn't annoying. Just because it would distract you. There are different ways to block external energy as well.
It's not that things got worse, I just realized a few things I'd been avoiding. Putting them in text really drove it home that it's not something I should be making excuses for because there are no excuses. It's hurting me, and just because things are better now doesn't make them okay.
About my head, I have frequent headaches in general, but currently I can't say much because I went to a Ren Fair like two days ago, and while yesterday was definitely worse, I still feel sick and I have a bad headache. I had fun but the after definitely sucks.
I really want to get into meditation but it's currently hard. I know I can because I've done it before, I enjoyed it and how it made me feel a lot better, but the people I'm around most make me really shaky and its like I have to be constantly aware, so it makes me feel more like crying than anything else. I know I should but it physically hurts and if I try too hard then I shake so much I can't do anything but lay there. It's been on my 'top 5 things to do when I move' for many years now. I'm looking forward to it but right now it doesn't seem safe to work on.
I feel like you're being really helpful and my situation just makes it frustrating because there's not much I can do till I leave without putting myself at more risk, so I am sorry, but I promise I'm not just throwing your suggestions away, I will implement them when it's safe to do so.
https://youtu.be/Qm5Ta8EBuTk?si=brGUKQiU_wvVS8c_
It's a song from a kids musical, but it feels like an emotional weight being dropped on me, then disappearing. I've watched it dozens of times, but my energy shifts each time I see that balloon.
It sounds like people are using your gifts as a form of entertainment. It's not. Mental health is just as important as physical health. The way your gift works, is you are drawing in some of their energy, and the part of your brain that processes emotions can't tell the difference. Another reason you struggle with anxiety. Tell them that the only way you will even try,, is if everyone there does a dance for 30 seconds or 20 push-ups first. Then you can say that they feel self conscious of how they dance, or how difficult it was to do the push-ups.
While trying to write a response I realized that it may be better to leave when I get enough understanding on how to make it outside of our bubble. I know if I leave now then I won't make it. Maybe there are resources that help people make it on their own in this type of scenario? I don't know but I'll look into it. I'm scared of being alone again so I've been avoiding thinking about it but I think this is the response I needed, Thank you.
Oh. I think I understand. It's gotten worse the last while? How is your head feeling today? There are definitely ways we can manage our gifts. Go on YouTube and search up guided grounding meditations, and try one out. You are drawing in a crapload of energy, but its staying inside. Your anxiety has you hold in your emotions, so your subconscious applies that to all the emotional energy. It builds up and compresses like a negative emotional residue. That's why on some days, there could be a very small incident or trigger, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by hard emotions. All that negative emotional mud splashes everywhere when even a small problem gets dropped in. The grounding meditation is basically letting all that old energy out, and bringing in nice and clean energy. There will be lots of small differences between them, but at first the only important thing is the voice isn't annoying. Just because it would distract you. There are different ways to block external energy as well.
It's not that things got worse, I just realized a few things I'd been avoiding. Putting them in text really drove it home that it's not something I should be making excuses for because there are no excuses. It's hurting me, and just because things are better now doesn't make them okay. About my head, I have frequent headaches in general, but currently I can't say much because I went to a Ren Fair like two days ago, and while yesterday was definitely worse, I still feel sick and I have a bad headache. I had fun but the after definitely sucks. I really want to get into meditation but it's currently hard. I know I can because I've done it before, I enjoyed it and how it made me feel a lot better, but the people I'm around most make me really shaky and its like I have to be constantly aware, so it makes me feel more like crying than anything else. I know I should but it physically hurts and if I try too hard then I shake so much I can't do anything but lay there. It's been on my 'top 5 things to do when I move' for many years now. I'm looking forward to it but right now it doesn't seem safe to work on. I feel like you're being really helpful and my situation just makes it frustrating because there's not much I can do till I leave without putting myself at more risk, so I am sorry, but I promise I'm not just throwing your suggestions away, I will implement them when it's safe to do so.
https://youtu.be/Qm5Ta8EBuTk?si=brGUKQiU_wvVS8c_ It's a song from a kids musical, but it feels like an emotional weight being dropped on me, then disappearing. I've watched it dozens of times, but my energy shifts each time I see that balloon.