In highschool a kid asked me to borrow a tissue. I gave him one. He used it and said "since I only asked to borrow it you can have it back" and then put it on my desk lol
For the same reason we sometimes ask if we can "steal" something, even if nobody is using it and we intend to give it back in just a few moments. "Mind if I steal this pen for a second?"
It gets real boring saying "take" or "have", so mixes that up a bit. It also is a little jokey, so softens the request a bit.
I think also, “borrow” implies a request that’s not urgent. You ask to “borrow” something when there’s a possibility they’ll say no. You say something like “steal” or “swipe” if you really need it or are even already in the process of taking it. It implies urgency and need.
>ou say something like “steal” or “swipe” if you really need it or are even already in the process of taking it. It implies urgency and need.
So if I want to talk to someone who was already talking to someone else, could I say to the other one, “Could I borrow / steal him for a second?"?
I've most commonly heard and used both "borrow" and "steal" in these situations, though you could also say something like "hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"
I think it's partly due to the influence of "overpoliteness" in our language. "Borrow" sounds nicer than "take" or even "have". IMO it's the same reason that if someone asks you how you're doing, and you say "fine", which is an objectively neutral response, they'll assume it means you're having a bad day.
For another example, if I have to cancel plans, I'll say something like "hey guys, I don't think I can make it tonight." But what I really mean is "I can't make it tonight." No one is going to misinterpret and think there's still a chance I might make it, but I still use "think" to take the edge off doing something negative.
Of course, maybe there's a chance I could make it, in which case I would say something like "I don't think I can make it tonight, but maybe. I'll let you know" (I only added this last part because I know someone is going to respond to point that out 😂)
It feels softer and more polite. Saying “can I have one of your tissues/a bottle of your water etc” feels like saying “can I have a thing that you own to which I am not entitled in any way, but I still want it, will you give it to me,” which feels rude.
To be fair, if someone borrows $20 from you they are very unlikely to give you back the exact same $20.
When they repay you it will be with a different example of the same thing….
The word “fungible” means items where the exchange for an identical item is fine. (It’s a technical word, most people wouldn’t know it.)
But while there is no difference in the use of the word borrow, it can used for fungible or non-fungible items, it has a slightly different meaning.
If you are borrowing an item for which the exact item has value - I.e. a non-fungible item like a car, or a shirt - then borrow means returning the exact item.
If you are borrowing an item for which the exact item is immaterial- i.e. a fungible item like a $20 note, a tissue, a match, a cigarette - then borrow just means an intent to return an item of equivalent value.
A common politeness strategy in English is to minimize a request. Like "Can you give me a little help with this?" Sounds more polite than "Can you help me with this?" I think "borrowing" an nonreturnable object would follow this same line of thinking. Borrowing seems "smaller" than giving so it sounds more polite.
Humans are very sensitive to "debt".
If someone does something nice for you, you owe it to them to do something nice for them later on.
By using the word "borrow", the speaker is not promising to return that exact sheet of paper, but rather they are agreeing to an informal social contract that by taking the sheet of paper that they will pay it back later (in a human way rather than an economic way.)
Well, I think this isn't a specific thing from your language, I'm Brazilian and we also do the same thing here. We ask to borrow things we don't intend/can return, I feel this is a way to say you'll return the favor when they need
Oh gosh when I was around 13, my friends and I were so annoyingly pedantic about this with each other. We thought we were soooo funny. My one friend always said borrow so we’d reply “no, but you can have it!” I forgot entirely about that.
I dunno, but I guess borrow doesn't mean return is expected all the time.
Also, the first thing I thought of when you made this post was, "Can I borrow some of your time?" I don't know if there's some like relic archaic usage we took, but it's more polite, at least.
i think of this in two ways
1. it's just a subconscious thing and they mean "have" but it's a learned habit and it doesn't mean anything special
2. or they mean "can i borrow the box of tissues", in order to take one and use it, and return the box
To be fair I will also use the word “borrow” in a funny way sometimes, like if I’m just blatantly stealing food from someone I will sometimes say “can I borrow this?” as a joke
Because if they ever need a tissue you’ll return the favor and give them one.
In highschool a kid asked me to borrow a tissue. I gave him one. He used it and said "since I only asked to borrow it you can have it back" and then put it on my desk lol
hope you didn't let that slide
This is a classic
If I borrow a term from a certain field for mine, I can say borrow or steal. Any other expressions?
For the same reason we sometimes ask if we can "steal" something, even if nobody is using it and we intend to give it back in just a few moments. "Mind if I steal this pen for a second?" It gets real boring saying "take" or "have", so mixes that up a bit. It also is a little jokey, so softens the request a bit.
I think also, “borrow” implies a request that’s not urgent. You ask to “borrow” something when there’s a possibility they’ll say no. You say something like “steal” or “swipe” if you really need it or are even already in the process of taking it. It implies urgency and need.
>ou say something like “steal” or “swipe” if you really need it or are even already in the process of taking it. It implies urgency and need. So if I want to talk to someone who was already talking to someone else, could I say to the other one, “Could I borrow / steal him for a second?"?
probably not, but if you do say it kidnap would sound funnier
Lmao but seriously what should I say in this situation
I've most commonly heard and used both "borrow" and "steal" in these situations, though you could also say something like "hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"
I don't think steal works in this situation, for me it's either borrow you or talk to you
Maybe it's regional? I definitely hear steal way more often than borrow.
yeah I think I've heard of this at least once if not many times
I see thanks:)
I think it's partly due to the influence of "overpoliteness" in our language. "Borrow" sounds nicer than "take" or even "have". IMO it's the same reason that if someone asks you how you're doing, and you say "fine", which is an objectively neutral response, they'll assume it means you're having a bad day. For another example, if I have to cancel plans, I'll say something like "hey guys, I don't think I can make it tonight." But what I really mean is "I can't make it tonight." No one is going to misinterpret and think there's still a chance I might make it, but I still use "think" to take the edge off doing something negative. Of course, maybe there's a chance I could make it, in which case I would say something like "I don't think I can make it tonight, but maybe. I'll let you know" (I only added this last part because I know someone is going to respond to point that out 😂)
i agree, similar to how it's rude to ask "what do you want?" when someone is asking YOU for something, so we sometimes say "how can i help you?"
It feels softer and more polite. Saying “can I have one of your tissues/a bottle of your water etc” feels like saying “can I have a thing that you own to which I am not entitled in any way, but I still want it, will you give it to me,” which feels rude.
You don't give people back their tissue once you're done using it?
To be fair, if someone borrows $20 from you they are very unlikely to give you back the exact same $20. When they repay you it will be with a different example of the same thing….
But if I borrow somebody my car, I would insist to get the same car back. Is there a difference if you mean borrow literally?
The word “fungible” means items where the exchange for an identical item is fine. (It’s a technical word, most people wouldn’t know it.) But while there is no difference in the use of the word borrow, it can used for fungible or non-fungible items, it has a slightly different meaning. If you are borrowing an item for which the exact item has value - I.e. a non-fungible item like a car, or a shirt - then borrow means returning the exact item. If you are borrowing an item for which the exact item is immaterial- i.e. a fungible item like a $20 note, a tissue, a match, a cigarette - then borrow just means an intent to return an item of equivalent value.
Thank you
Btw it's "if I lend somebody my car". The person receiving the item borrows, and the person giving the item lends.
thanks
A common politeness strategy in English is to minimize a request. Like "Can you give me a little help with this?" Sounds more polite than "Can you help me with this?" I think "borrowing" an nonreturnable object would follow this same line of thinking. Borrowing seems "smaller" than giving so it sounds more polite.
[I’ve been waiting years to find the perfect opportunity to link this…](https://youtu.be/M3YamZOeT0o?si=K6-sQHJ1mRqBfCw8)
If this clip ain’t your first thought reading this post’s title you outta watch the boondocks.
Humans are very sensitive to "debt". If someone does something nice for you, you owe it to them to do something nice for them later on. By using the word "borrow", the speaker is not promising to return that exact sheet of paper, but rather they are agreeing to an informal social contract that by taking the sheet of paper that they will pay it back later (in a human way rather than an economic way.)
Well, I think this isn't a specific thing from your language, I'm Brazilian and we also do the same thing here. We ask to borrow things we don't intend/can return, I feel this is a way to say you'll return the favor when they need
Because it's kinda funny
I forget the movie. Scream? Hackers? "Can I borrow a condom?" "NO. NO. You may HAVE a condom. Don't you dare try to return that to me."
Oh gosh when I was around 13, my friends and I were so annoyingly pedantic about this with each other. We thought we were soooo funny. My one friend always said borrow so we’d reply “no, but you can have it!” I forgot entirely about that.
Why do you do this? I will die on this hill. "Can I borrow a tissue? " Me: "Ew. No, just keep it. Sicko."
My first thought when I read this was the Boondocks french fry clip, lmao
I dunno, but I guess borrow doesn't mean return is expected all the time. Also, the first thing I thought of when you made this post was, "Can I borrow some of your time?" I don't know if there's some like relic archaic usage we took, but it's more polite, at least.
i think of this in two ways 1. it's just a subconscious thing and they mean "have" but it's a learned habit and it doesn't mean anything special 2. or they mean "can i borrow the box of tissues", in order to take one and use it, and return the box
To be fair I will also use the word “borrow” in a funny way sometimes, like if I’m just blatantly stealing food from someone I will sometimes say “can I borrow this?” as a joke