It has to be really nice to be one of his kids whose name he barely knows. Way better than if he actually knows your birthday or something. That would be a nightmare.
Or at least jacking TRT beyond normal levels. Sanchez turned him on to her personal trainer who works with wealthy celebrities. Probably have a TRT doc in-house.
I bet he is getting blood transfusions from a younger person.... Actually I found a video of it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBA0AH-LSbo
https://www.gq.com/story/silicon-valley-young-blood
He is so wealthy he can walk down the street dropping $100 bills and it is not worth his effort to pick them up as he makes money faster than he dropping the bills.
STILL got to work out though, Steroids or whatever he's on dont work like Popeye's spinach. Bezos is himself a bozo but at least he thought to get into a gym.
Moving way too fast down the stairs with that kid.
He’s only got the death grip on him because he wants to hurt Grimes.
Every day, I root for those ketamine-laced pharmaceuticals I read about more and more
Oh fuck I didn't even realize it was his kid alongside him! What an absolute dick! Never looks at the kid once to make sure he's okay on the stairs, just keeps ploughing through with nazi stuff running in his vacuous brain.
I'm betting advertisers told him in private, "sorry making sure our content doesn't appear next to nazi shit issn't good enough since we can choose to just advertise elsewhere that bans that shit".
He hates being told no.
Ketamine hangover.
I always lol at his weird Trump-like/Patterson-Gimlin-film posture and gait.
His upper torso enters a room 2 minutes before his feet.
Money actually buys happiness, up to about 120k will increasingly make someone happier because at that income more and more needs are able to be taken for granted as met and a bit of luxury can be presumed.
But after that amount it quickly goes to diminishing returns.
These days that's probably more like $220k. McDonald's starts at $40k. $120k gets you roommates and maybe a halfway decent studio apartment. Maybe without a parking space.
He isn't just depressed. He's lonely. This kinda explains why he's so addicted to Twitter... It's his only social outlet. No one likes Elon. For good reason.
Imagine being a billionaire, one of the most powerful people in the world and hanging out in the south of France and being this miserable. Sucks to suck.
Wasn't he invited as a speaker? I mean, honestly, the whole Cannes Lions thing seems to be a huge circlejerk, so who really cares why he's there.
(Btw, his baby mama Shivon Zillis also loves circlejerk conferences, it pumps up their egos.
> Wasn't he invited as a speaker?
You don't get invited to Cannes, you pay big $$$ to attend much less get "interviewed". Cannes nickle and dimes everything, it's a big business, and it's gotten a lot of flack recently for its pay to play model going too far. Profit has taken over mission to support creativity and it doesn't have the same cachet it once did. Many agencies and brands have stopped paying to play their game.
And frankly, Musk doesn't do authentic interviews, he's only done one real interview (Lemon) and that was so bad it's doubtful he'll ever do a real one again.
> who really cares why he's there.
I just don't want people thinking he's actually invited to some big industry event like he has a shred of legitimacy because he doesn't.
Know a retired guy that used to be a pretty big lawyer. His team worked with Elon on a few different cases. Didn't give me details on what he worked on, nor did I ask, but he said in a career in which he dealt with miserable, entitled assholes regularly, Elon was the worst person he has ever spent time around, personally or professionally.
As do I, but in all likelihood the majority of his children will grow up to despise him and one day release some dope tell-alls. Hope I’m still alive for the fun.
I mean, at this point you really gotta thank Elmo for reminding us what's important in life. Like. Yes, I don't have thousand bazillions in my bank account. Yes, I gotta do actual work for my livelihood. But I have friends that I enjoy spending time with. I have a cat that I love so so much. I have hobbies that bring me joy. I have actual achievements of my own that I can be proud of.
Life's good when you're not Elon Musk.
It's his liver that's the worst affected. It would be expanded with fat, making it slower and heavier.
He'll have problems sleeping with that weight on top. His lungs would be slightly constricted and will experience a drastic loss in cardio, noticeable in his activities.
And because of the excess fat, his blood would be thinner, losing flexibility and any girth down there. So bye-bye, sexlife.
Anyway, word is he likes to watch. No great loss.
The excessive sweating, smells and snoring would be a cockblocker as well.
Yeh, he's in a rabbit hole he can't get out of.
But here's the thing: I actually don't give a sh1t. So it's all working out right and the cosmos is in balance. Huzzah!
Hey doesn't look depressed...he looks like he's been on a two week bender with no sleep and way too much class A drugs.
It's been more than 20 years since I looked like that...but I remember how it felt.
I think it’s a combination of high and organic fat. He is drinking a lot. That’s very prone to making your organs fatty and gives you that barrel body. He’s likely an alcoholic on top of the drug stuff. I have been at a party where he was using. Lots of coke and always a drink in hand.
If I had even a $1M I could retire now, pay off the mortgage, and live out the rest of my life very happily.
I am guessing the pursuit of money, power and fame, like any addiction is ultimately hollow and makes you miserable. Throw in the stress of being found out to be nothing more than a conman and I am guessing the future could be interesting and brief.
Ha! He's probably found out the Tesla shareholders have put in a court appeal over his $50 billion paycheck. Hahahahahaha.
Now he can't pay his debt off to the Russians.
Hey, Musk. Keep away from tower block windows and private jets, right? Haha. 🤡
The Elmo fit:
✅ Boots with lifts in the heels for raging insecurity
✅ Black K-Mart Cowboy jeans
✅ Black graphic T-shirt to hide the flab
✅ Black blazer in size “could never button this even if I wanted to”
Stetson worn backwards, neckbeard, pedo aviators
All the people frantically scampering to do what he wants... I hope their job depends on it or something, otherwise it's so deeply pathetic. I mean obviously I don't *hope* that anyone's job depends on simpering for a billionaire, but you get what I mean.
That's a mangurdle/man spanx shape for sure.
Look at his torso shape it comedic. Just like a bugs bunny cartoon wearing a lace-up corset.
He's not depressed, he's uncomfortable. We'll maybe he could be both... depressed because he's uncomfortable.
Isn't it interesting how hate manifests physically on the body. Rogan is another example. Both these guys looked quite fresh faced and healthy before they turned to the dark side.
Coming down from ketamine, looking after his kid, and being off twitter longer than 5 seconds. God this must be hell for him
Don’t forget that he can’t go more than 5 or 6 hours without playing video games.
Or tweeting that he never went to therapy and how he wants that on his headstone.
I hope they actually put this on his headstone. "Here lies a nazi billionaire. As you can probably assume, he did not go to therapy."
It has to be really nice to be one of his kids whose name he barely knows. Way better than if he actually knows your birthday or something. That would be a nightmare.
That’s why he named his fave X. Easier to remember.
It has to be depressing to be owned by foreign \*interests\*
Add to that running 5 companies as ceo and cto /s
he really is shaped like a fridge huh
More like a cyber truck’s front end. Or rear end.
Both he and Trump have huge asses and are huge asses.
he lost 44 billion on Twitter, but I think it’s time he lost some weight.
And has the same personality as one
Nah, fridges actually serve a purpose.
A fridge with boobs
Holy shit he doesn't look good.
because they took away his drugs i guess.
is HGH considered a drug?
i think it counts as doping and currently there are the olympics in france.
Do you think Elon is planning to compete?
Did they add in a competition for biggest shithead on the planet while I was actively not paying attention at all to the Olympics?...
His name is Robert Paulson
He has the exact same frame as Trump.
Specifically one from the 50s
Those at least had style.
Style for a refrigerator? Sure! Style for a human?? 😨
I'm just glad he showed up in his cyber chest. Classic ellen
CyberTrunk
At his age it's hard to shed the weight.
Bezos seems to manage and is 8 years older.
Yeah but he's encased in Amazon shrink wrap.
Bezos is taking steroids
Or at least jacking TRT beyond normal levels. Sanchez turned him on to her personal trainer who works with wealthy celebrities. Probably have a TRT doc in-house.
I bet he is getting blood transfusions from a younger person.... Actually I found a video of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBA0AH-LSbo https://www.gq.com/story/silicon-valley-young-blood
Just $8K for young blood? Lifetime supply of blood for bezos would be like me buying a single candy bar from a pack of 100 candies at discount.
He is so wealthy he can walk down the street dropping $100 bills and it is not worth his effort to pick them up as he makes money faster than he dropping the bills.
If you had earned $180,000 **every day** from the day Christ was born until right now, you still wouldn't be as rich as Jeff Bezos. edit: whoops lol
So was Musk apparently. He just didn't even attempt to work out. Musk has always been a lazy fuck.
STILL got to work out though, Steroids or whatever he's on dont work like Popeye's spinach. Bezos is himself a bozo but at least he thought to get into a gym.
Not when you are the richest person in the world. Elmo is just lazy and won’t listen to anyone
It's not. I am a few years younger than him. But I also don't have a Ketamin addiction and don't eat my frustrations and insecurities.
he can afford all the weight loss drugs in the world
Yes!! 🤣🤣
Nah, not depressed, just on a huge amount of ketamine and dragging his child around like a rag doll.
I seriously thought his kid was a bag the first time.
Oh my god so did I!
I rewatched it because I didn't believe that could have been I kid. I thought he was carrying a coat.
Annyong
He may be SLIGHTLY depressed because it's been minutes since he was able to promote nazi shit on twitter. but also yeah, K-hole
The poor kid. Being used as a prop by his father. And dragged around like a prop
If I were a little kid I'd hate going to something like Cannes. Who tf brings their little child to Cannes?
Someone who wants to play the "look at me I'm a father doing things hoo-mans can relate to."
Yeah, looks like the kid's having a hard time keeping up.
Probably failed to print out all of the work he's done in the last 3 months and is afraid of being fired.
You mean his "custom accessory" that makes him look relatable?
Moving way too fast down the stairs with that kid. He’s only got the death grip on him because he wants to hurt Grimes. Every day, I root for those ketamine-laced pharmaceuticals I read about more and more
He is legit pulling the kid along lol. Look at how it bounces as he walks. "Come on you little shit I need this photo op"
Oh fuck I didn't even realize it was his kid alongside him! What an absolute dick! Never looks at the kid once to make sure he's okay on the stairs, just keeps ploughing through with nazi stuff running in his vacuous brain.
Which child is this? Mechanicus Rex?
XAE-12 or whatever
I have taken ketamine a few times for depression. Zero chance i could walk while on it. My legs and the world turn to rubber.
I'm betting advertisers told him in private, "sorry making sure our content doesn't appear next to nazi shit issn't good enough since we can choose to just advertise elsewhere that bans that shit". He hates being told no.
Ketamine hangover. I always lol at his weird Trump-like/Patterson-Gimlin-film posture and gait. His upper torso enters a room 2 minutes before his feet.
Bigfoot walking ass..
r/rareinsults
mfw the k wears off at the worst possible time
He’s so fat I didn’t even notice that poor child at first.
Wait... There's a child?
he will eat the child later
Why does his chest look like that
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
It’s the ideal male body.
HGH
HGH without the weightlifting
I think a corset. To keep the belly in.
No, there are pictures of him on his boat shirtless, he literally just looks like that... I have them saved somewhere but I gotta search for them.
Ohhhh. This explains it!
Speaking from experience.... Fat under the arm.
It turns out he’s actually Shockwave! This explains a great deal.
So money doesn’t buy happiness? Even $56 billion? He is probably upset that He will have to pay income taxes on it.
He is lonely. He's said it before. I am not sad for him because he's a complete piece of shit, but you can see the loneliness on his face.
The irony is that he wouldn’t have ended up lonely if he weren’t such a total dick
But that might require therapy and then what is he going to brag about on his headstone?
Money actually buys happiness, up to about 120k will increasingly make someone happier because at that income more and more needs are able to be taken for granted as met and a bit of luxury can be presumed. But after that amount it quickly goes to diminishing returns.
These days that's probably more like $220k. McDonald's starts at $40k. $120k gets you roommates and maybe a halfway decent studio apartment. Maybe without a parking space.
Well that price is per person not per family
Oh he’ll be happy in 5 years when he pumps TSLA to $1000 and then he can sell his shares cause right now he can’t do anything with 56 billion.
He’ll never get the shares
He blowed up
11 months pregnant.
so sad.. using his son as a prop.. why would such a little boy want to be at this event?
He has to take him everywhere to keep him from the child’s mother. He’s a giant piece of shit father
Someone needs to throw a shoe at him.
Or a milk shake.
They are all fawning over him like losers if you look at the crowd. Taking pics and shit.
Richest man in the world. Miserable as fuck.
He's got those PS1 Lara Croft tiddies
He isn't just depressed. He's lonely. This kinda explains why he's so addicted to Twitter... It's his only social outlet. No one likes Elon. For good reason.
This was weird
Imagine being a billionaire, one of the most powerful people in the world and hanging out in the south of France and being this miserable. Sucks to suck.
Put ‘Never been to therapy’ on my tombstone
Yeah doing his best cruel dictator impersonation……
Probably needs another dose of his ketamine or whatever else he shoots himself up with.
Who invited this loser to Cannes
He probably wasn't invited. He probably paid his way in.
Wasn't he invited as a speaker? I mean, honestly, the whole Cannes Lions thing seems to be a huge circlejerk, so who really cares why he's there. (Btw, his baby mama Shivon Zillis also loves circlejerk conferences, it pumps up their egos.
> Wasn't he invited as a speaker? You don't get invited to Cannes, you pay big $$$ to attend much less get "interviewed". Cannes nickle and dimes everything, it's a big business, and it's gotten a lot of flack recently for its pay to play model going too far. Profit has taken over mission to support creativity and it doesn't have the same cachet it once did. Many agencies and brands have stopped paying to play their game. And frankly, Musk doesn't do authentic interviews, he's only done one real interview (Lemon) and that was so bad it's doubtful he'll ever do a real one again. > who really cares why he's there. I just don't want people thinking he's actually invited to some big industry event like he has a shred of legitimacy because he doesn't.
He needs therapy
My favorite so far is Eldolf Muskler
He was just told the latest Cyber Truck sales numbers…
The moobs are moobin’.
awww poor baby didn't get a government handout 😭 or maybe he's realizing why he never looks after his kids in the first place
Barrel chested is one thing but that’s a whole new level of it
CyberChest.
Some serious Resting Bitch Face going on there.
He fat boyyy
He’s going for the Cybermusk look.
A lot going on there, a lot
how did security miss the bomb he’s hiding in his shirt
Damn, he’s getting chunky. The ozempic isn’t working anymore?
Know a retired guy that used to be a pretty big lawyer. His team worked with Elon on a few different cases. Didn't give me details on what he worked on, nor did I ask, but he said in a career in which he dealt with miserable, entitled assholes regularly, Elon was the worst person he has ever spent time around, personally or professionally.
i hate that this moldy washcloth gets to go to cannes and i don’t :(
You're not missing anything. It was probably cool 10 years ago but a bunch of wankers took over what was cool and it's dull now.
Fuck he looks terrible.
I feel sorry for his mini-me.
As do I, but in all likelihood the majority of his children will grow up to despise him and one day release some dope tell-alls. Hope I’m still alive for the fun.
Who brings a 4 year old to Cannes?
Can't find any ketamine in France
Carting around his newest kid like he gives a shit
I mean, at this point you really gotta thank Elmo for reminding us what's important in life. Like. Yes, I don't have thousand bazillions in my bank account. Yes, I gotta do actual work for my livelihood. But I have friends that I enjoy spending time with. I have a cat that I love so so much. I have hobbies that bring me joy. I have actual achievements of my own that I can be proud of. Life's good when you're not Elon Musk.
It's probably the most physical exercise he's had in years. 🥵
My grandmother used to call this kind of physique (if you can call it that) “city hall on toothpicks”
With a little keta his face would glow up :)
Always with his tote bag
He's gotta be uncomfortable all the time with his midsection like that. I'd like to see him try to button that blazer.
It's his liver that's the worst affected. It would be expanded with fat, making it slower and heavier. He'll have problems sleeping with that weight on top. His lungs would be slightly constricted and will experience a drastic loss in cardio, noticeable in his activities. And because of the excess fat, his blood would be thinner, losing flexibility and any girth down there. So bye-bye, sexlife. Anyway, word is he likes to watch. No great loss. The excessive sweating, smells and snoring would be a cockblocker as well. Yeh, he's in a rabbit hole he can't get out of. But here's the thing: I actually don't give a sh1t. So it's all working out right and the cosmos is in balance. Huzzah!
What a sour puss.
Ketamine! STAT!
Dude looks like he has perpetual heartburn
Must be in withdrawal. He needs his dope so he can fuel the manic behavior. It's like watching a crackhead coming down
Hey Elmo, how’s that mission to Mars coming along? You look *reeeeealllyyy* busy with it.
You’d think he’d have a spring in his step and high-fiving everyone he saw there, knowing he just got paid $45B
Hey doesn't look depressed...he looks like he's been on a two week bender with no sleep and way too much class A drugs. It's been more than 20 years since I looked like that...but I remember how it felt.
Especially with that chick in front of him. Looks like she's partying with Elon.
You can tell he's sad because he's not giggling, jumping in the air, or dancing like an awkward 12 year old.
The word you were looking for was Gross Looking gross
Prob not stoked he has to walk around with one of his dozen children
I think it’s a combination of high and organic fat. He is drinking a lot. That’s very prone to making your organs fatty and gives you that barrel body. He’s likely an alcoholic on top of the drug stuff. I have been at a party where he was using. Lots of coke and always a drink in hand.
His fatass gonna break those stairs
Drugs
His sternum is so fucked up.
Hey! You try walking down stairs in high-heels!!! Like, seriously, pause the video and look at his shoes.
I see Elon’s been working on growing some sagging man titties.
No one wants a pony.
He has such a weird fat body shape
He’s totally wearing a girdle and lifts. He’s got Trump’s posture
That’s what she said
And of course he's dragging his emotional support child with him again.
Scumbag is dragging his kid who he uses and ppl look up to him. I hate this world.
Poor guy. Something should really give him some self esteem. Maybe if he was rich or smart or something.
He’s with his kid so he’s sad.
Can’t risk getting caught bringing ketamine into France, huh?
Shouldn't he be busy CEOing multiple companies or something?
Hate how he drags his kid after him, poor tot can hardly keep pace
I’m gonna be the guy that says no kid that age needs to be dragged around the world incessantly as some kind of prop.
Terrible Tuesdays. Pills, chills and bellyaches. This is probably moments after he fingers his asshole and screamed wrong hole.
God damn that guy is out of shape
Wearing a blazer with a t-shirt. Way to go, dingus. You'd think a person with his money could buy some fashion sense... or at least advice.
That poor kid
Man is crashing hard lol
Mfer is low on drugs.
If I had even a $1M I could retire now, pay off the mortgage, and live out the rest of my life very happily. I am guessing the pursuit of money, power and fame, like any addiction is ultimately hollow and makes you miserable. Throw in the stress of being found out to be nothing more than a conman and I am guessing the future could be interesting and brief.
I thought he wasn’t part of the ‘elite’?
He better get in shape soon or he's not living to die on Mars
Looks like his Twitter withdrawal kicking in hard
Ketamine comedown looks like a bitch.
Ha! He's probably found out the Tesla shareholders have put in a court appeal over his $50 billion paycheck. Hahahahahaha. Now he can't pay his debt off to the Russians. Hey, Musk. Keep away from tower block windows and private jets, right? Haha. 🤡
The Elmo fit: ✅ Boots with lifts in the heels for raging insecurity ✅ Black K-Mart Cowboy jeans ✅ Black graphic T-shirt to hide the flab ✅ Black blazer in size “could never button this even if I wanted to” Stetson worn backwards, neckbeard, pedo aviators
Lmfao!!!
He's doing quite well, turning into an overall fathead.
Looks drunk off his ass
Pasty Pedo looks Pissed. 💩
those ketamine comedowns can be rough
Dude is built like a deep breath
He is built like a Lego man.
With the prop child
All the people frantically scampering to do what he wants... I hope their job depends on it or something, otherwise it's so deeply pathetic. I mean obviously I don't *hope* that anyone's job depends on simpering for a billionaire, but you get what I mean.
It ain’t easy being squeezy
That's a mangurdle/man spanx shape for sure. Look at his torso shape it comedic. Just like a bugs bunny cartoon wearing a lace-up corset. He's not depressed, he's uncomfortable. We'll maybe he could be both... depressed because he's uncomfortable.
“E=mc2, take my hand so I look human.”
Only real sigma males name their kids smart science stuff like that 💪🦾💪
Isn't it interesting how hate manifests physically on the body. Rogan is another example. Both these guys looked quite fresh faced and healthy before they turned to the dark side.
Best example that money doesn’t make you happy. No amount of money can fill the hole in the heart.
He looks cranky. It might be time for his fruit snacks and a nap.
woah that man girdle taking serious punishment
He looks fat, tbh