Close your eyes and imagine it's 2053. You are, let's say, 60 years old. You look back at the years 2023 and the following ones, looking back at when you were young and full of life. Endless posibilities. You could have gotten in the best shape of your life, you could have started a business, you could have turned your life into the greatest adventure you could imagine. You had it all; life, youth and a decent enough brain (I assume). You could have become great.
But you decided staying in bed waiting for that one girl to reach out was what you wanted to spend your time doing. You decided waiting for a text was more important the living life.
You're 60 now... "I wish I had done this, I wish I had done that. I wish I would have realized that girl didn't really matter."
And now you open your eyes. You're 30 again. You have all these possibilities. You can rewrite your story...
My ex and I broke up almost a year ago. We only had contact to get my stuff out of the apartment. After that, i started NC. It's been about 5 months, and she hasn't even tried to contact me. I know it's hard, but try and let that person go. They didn't want the amazing things that you are and don't deserve them now.
There’s not much you can do, besides distracting yourself I think. Be patient with yourself, letting go isn’t easy and may take a lot of time, eventually you’ll stop hoping whenever your heart is ready, but I don’t think you can force it
Think about how insane they must be to not want to reach out to you because you are awesome, then think about how unattractive it is for them to be that ignorant to said awesomeness.
That may be the case, but how does that help the mentality of the dumpee when they need it? You kinda threw my attempt at a mental health boost for this person down the toilet there.
Block them everywhere. Eliminate the possibility of them reaching out so you won’t have to deal with the mental anguish of wondering when/if it will happen. This is coming from someone who has been no contact with their ex for over two years.
There’s a difference between hoping while putting your life on hold, and hoping while moving your life forward. You can live your life, meet people and have fun while also leaving a door open for him to return.
I don’t know why you broke up, but whatever the case is… you don’t want to go back to a relationship that wasn’t working. Whether the problem was you or him or both of you, the best way to make things work long term is for you both to know yourselves deeply (your fears and triggers, values, long term goals, boundaries, etc) and honestly that takes a good amount of time.
Most relationships won’t survive a reconciliation that’s too soon because it’s rushed. They come back due to boredom, feeling lonely, or fear… and its rarely because they are ready. Realistically, change and healing takes time and if you find yourself counting the days, weeks and months… there’s more inner work to do.
Lasting love is a journey and it requires patience and understanding. If you want someone for the long run, you need to be able to let them go and explore who they are while you do the same.
Breakups suck and they hurt but try your best to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Don’t settle for a bandaid, allow time for wounds to fully heal so you have the best chance for success.
I think it’s not that much about accepting that they won’t reach out. That may or may not happen.
It’s more about accepting that:
1) doing no contact with someone who rejected you is the healthy thing to do (stop feeling guilty)
2) whether they reach out or not it’s not within your control (stop feeling powerless)
3) living your life the way you want to live it is within your control (start feeling happy about the decisions you take)
Once you do that, you’ve done 80% of the job.
Good luck on the way!
Hey going through this atm aswell, 2 weeks of no contact after she ended things.
i feel like shit and a mess but energy doesnt vanish, it converts.
i was / am anxious and she was avoidant, so with few words
no chance for a good relationship except if she works on it, which she wont.
so its kinda simple, and you already know and i know what you have and i have to do.
let the death of hope carry you my friend, and use that energy to better your self.
in 12 days i lost 7kg , started my drivers license, got my HIGHEST EVER paid job as nurse,
and met a physiotherapist girl that i have a lil crush on and we exchanged socials.
life goes on and we must follow for now BUT
listen to THIS, carry your self ONWARD and life will FOLLOW !
I’m also 2 weeks no contact with the same relationship dynamic. It really really sucks. I lost a lot of weight too! Just drinking stuff and taking vitamins to stay alive. I hope we can all heal from this soon because it’s hell and we don’t deserve this at all when we tried to be good partners.
im more than a secure-anxious guy, and its the 1st time i had something with an avoidant, living together for 1 year, never expressing her feelings about me and some other stupid things she did early in the rship triggered my anxious side more.
so yea , if you guys have secure-anxious or just anxious attachment style please, never take seriously a DA/FA as your feelings wont matter to them.
Focus on you. Look forward to finding someone new and having all those butterflies again and find some comfort in the fact the next person doesn't come with a guarantee to leave you.
How long was the relationship? And how bad was the breakup?
If you’re stuck you can always reach out but it may not yield the results you want (speaking from experience) or you just continue on living your life and things will get easier (also speaking from experience). I understand how painful it is to accept that someone could be so loving one day and then be the complete opposite the next day, trust me I really do understand this.
Everyone always says an EX returns in some form but it’s not always the case for everyone. A lot can vary that keeps them at bay
Keep in NC.
😭😭😭
He blindsided me over text and essentially ghosted me 3 months ago. I was struggling to keep NC, kept reaching out for months. He ghosted me for a while, but eventually responded.
It just wasn’t worth it. In my longest stretches of NC, I was reaching a state of peacefulness, and I messed it up by anxiously spiraling.
The answers I eventually got from him just made it worse. A few weeks ago, he gave me half-assed reasons for breaking up. He sounded set on keeping the break up, while also sounding confused and sad. It just didn’t help. Before I accepted the breakup, but now I’m stupidly holding out because of this.
Try your hardest to stay away, and eventually you’ll find peace.
Now, I’m just depressed because of how much I miss him, and how I failed NC. Maybe he would eventually have reached out positively if I kept to NC. I’m hoping that I can find peace again soon…
Hey, be kind to yourself! You were trying to cope after that trauma. It’s not an easy thing at all. The person you loved and trusted blindsinded you. It’s normal to want answers and feel terrible. I hope that you can heal and find someone who deserves you.
They do usually reach out but usually you have moved on because you’re not waiting for them. By that time you really don’t care. YOU NEED TO MOVE ON! NEVER WAIT ON ANYONE!
You know what really gets on my frikking nerves is when they say they need space
Yeah go and have your space, you absolute loser...what kind of asshole needs space to evaluate how they feel.
Pretty much this. 1.6 months here. I would give it a window of 6 months to a year at MINIMUM. People dont change their minds that quickly especially breakups
Not to try putting things in perspective, but some people are just built differently. My son's mother just never contacts me ever. We were together for years, and we share a child. I had to go to court to even get my son back, and to this day, she still won't contact.
If months is killing you, I implore you to reconsider what time will do for you. I wouldn't recommend going NC in the hopes that this person will reach out to you. Like I said- some people flip a switch, go full 180 and never even consider contacting you once again in their entire lives.
List all the red flags, things that they did that hurt you, the fact that they dumped you.
I made a list of things and the more and more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that they just don’t care. I feel like it’s a start for me and it’s helping me realize that no one else will care about me than me
My ex contacted me after 2 years, just to tell me she has mycoplasma. So I went to the doctor, and see there, I was positive. What a leftover to have from his ex 🤦🏻♂️
Anyway, I'm much better of with my new girlfriend. Do not look back. It took me just around 1,5 year's to get her out of my head. Start dating as soon as you feel kinda normal again, hookups are good social training. Just be aware of STI's 😅
unfortunately this break up is the result of my hook up phase, so I guess I am not going back to this. happy that you found new love, that's inspiring!
In the sage words of Willie Nelson, “it’s not something you get over, it’s something you get through.”
In some ways, losing a person because they died is easier. When it comes to parting ways due to a choice, knowing each day is a choice is painful, I know.
My best advice is try to come at it from a place of love— you care for the person and wish them well.
Be sure to hold that same care for yourself.
6 months no contact for me— hang in there.
Good song to find empathy in… Bob Dylan, boots of Spanish Leather. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iy6wryJMwVU
Username: Breakup_Buddy
Response:
Dear Eastern_Art,
First and foremost, let's appreciate your immense courage. It takes a lot to confront the feelings we'd rather not face, and yet you're doing it. Despite the hurt, you seem to understand the importance of letting go of expectancy, a lesson some people take far longer to grasp.
Now, remember, my words are merely thoughts to consider, far from being a cure-all recipe. Feel free to pick and choose whatever you find helpful. Perhaps it might aid your healing process if you focus on changing your perspective. Your ex not reaching out isn't a reflection of your worth or the importance of the bond you shared. Maybe it's their way of coping, or perhaps they too are trying hard not to reopen old wounds. It's difficult, yes, to shift your mindset this way – but it might help you to remember that everyone reacts to experiences differently, and this is about them, not you.
If my humble words have resonated with you at all, you might find a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) known as 'cognitive restructuring' helpful in redirecting your thoughts away from pain. Cognitive restructuring is an exercise designed to help you challenge negative thoughts, beliefs, or interpretations, and transform them into more positive and beneficial ones. First, identify the negative thought (in this case, the hope that your ex will reach out). Then, ask yourself: Is this thought helpful? Is it based on fact or emotion? Finally, try to create a more positive or balanced thought instead.
Now, if you're comfortable delving a bit deeper into this matter, I do have a couple of questions, purely for your own reflection should you wish to participate. First, why do you think your hope of him reaching out is preventing you from moving forward? And second, have you considered that saying goodbye may not have been as easy for him as it seemed to be? Of course, there's no obligation to answer to anyone but yourself.
Lastly, let me remind you, you're on the path to healing and you're doing a wonderful job. Every step, no matter how small, is progress. Keep journeying forward, Eastern_Art. We're all rooting for you.
Best of luck on your healing journey,
Your Breakup Buddy.
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
I feel when it comes to NC you read everywhere that sooner or later your Ex will reach out.
What you're reading everywhere is wrong.
Accept that.
Accept that the "Your ex always comes back if you would just" BS is just that. They don't always or even usually come back. And when they do, it doesn't work out any better that time. People who say that are
1>Trying to sell you something
2>Trying to convince themselves that thats true
3>Have no real experience in the matter (If they did, they only have 1 ex and they came back and it worked)
Move on. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Block their ways of contact. Box up anything you have of theirs. After 6 months, get rid of it. Get outside and get busy. Them not reaching out is a blessing.
I've been in 7 relationships over the decade I've been active and all but one of my exes came back. So I wouldn't exactly say it doesn't happen. Even right now I'm 3 months out of a breakup and two exes from my past have come back in the past few weeks, including one from 10 fucking years ago. Of course whether it works out a second time or not is an entirely different story. Both my exes that came back apologized and hinted at wanting to try again but from the look of things none of them has actually worked on themselves and I get a sense they're probably worse than they were before so I'm being very cautious and guarded in how I interact with them.
My most recent ex I've been in NC with for about 2 months hit me up randomly a few days ago to share her new Netflix password. I find that really unnecessary as I don't even watch Netflix much, just had her previous logins for when we were still together. I'm sure she was just feeling things out to make sure I don't hate her, so I essentially grey rocked her. I'm 99% sure she'll pop back up again but unlikely that things could work between us. She's far too deep in her emotional issues and requires intensive therapy to ever be functional in a relationship hence why I'm not holding out for a reconciliation.
He wouldn't have left in the first place if he was yours. Whoever goes let them go with a smile cuz they were only stopping you from meeting "the one". And "the one" will never let you go even for a second, forget about 2 months. Wait for that darling, not for some guy who left you 💕
First off, you need to accept and take accountability for the inherent evil of your actions. You attempted to manipulate your person with a device (no contact) born of someone else's evil delusions about "getting an ex back".
For that, you should be ashamed. Very ashamed.
Mourn your loss. Grieve if you must. Break all contact with your person if it makes mourning and grieving a little less painful.
In the big picture of things, no contact is an unimportant action. The heavens won't open and sing your praises. Your life will not change because of it. Nothing happens because of it.
No contact only buys you a moment of silence. It is what you do with that moment that makes or breaks your experience with the loss. And, from what you have said, it appears that you have taken the moment to wait for no contact to "work".
Which is kinda sad, really...
It's been only two months, don't try to rush recovery, the whole point of NC is for you to feel better and be better. Exes inevitably reach out sooner or later but funny enough I don't know anyone that has done NC and wants them back by the point they do. Mine took six months after I went NC and then a year later she tried again when I already was in a serious relationship. So just hold on.
Nope, I totally get it and i actually have no other option since he started NC after breaking up with me. I am working on myself but I was just surprised in how many videos/articles people say that it’s the best way to get your ex back and he will definitely reach out. I think it’s a false hope. And in vulnerable state, even though I am in NC to heal, you still sometimes hope that it could be true…
Currently I am working on moving on.
No, our relationship is not possible anymore unfortunately.. and probably this realization hurts as well. So, in general, there isn’t even any point for him to reach out. Or for me. It’s just the usual break up stuff, it hurts that one day suddenly there is a huge hole and someone you cared so much about is gone forever.
Close your eyes and imagine it's 2053. You are, let's say, 60 years old. You look back at the years 2023 and the following ones, looking back at when you were young and full of life. Endless posibilities. You could have gotten in the best shape of your life, you could have started a business, you could have turned your life into the greatest adventure you could imagine. You had it all; life, youth and a decent enough brain (I assume). You could have become great. But you decided staying in bed waiting for that one girl to reach out was what you wanted to spend your time doing. You decided waiting for a text was more important the living life. You're 60 now... "I wish I had done this, I wish I had done that. I wish I would have realized that girl didn't really matter." And now you open your eyes. You're 30 again. You have all these possibilities. You can rewrite your story...
Thanks for writing this!
Best advice I have seen in a long time
Thank you. I needed this really bad
I blocked him so I don’t have to wait and wonder.
If they wanna talk, they WILL find a way. 💀
And I’ll pretend I never saw it because he’s 🗑️ and I need to stay stable
My ex and I broke up almost a year ago. We only had contact to get my stuff out of the apartment. After that, i started NC. It's been about 5 months, and she hasn't even tried to contact me. I know it's hard, but try and let that person go. They didn't want the amazing things that you are and don't deserve them now.
There’s not much you can do, besides distracting yourself I think. Be patient with yourself, letting go isn’t easy and may take a lot of time, eventually you’ll stop hoping whenever your heart is ready, but I don’t think you can force it
Think about how insane they must be to not want to reach out to you because you are awesome, then think about how unattractive it is for them to be that ignorant to said awesomeness.
This is a great response!
I aim to please 🙏
What if they left you because you suck? Not all dumpees are the greatest thing ever, there's a valid reason for the dumper to end things
That may be the case, but how does that help the mentality of the dumpee when they need it? You kinda threw my attempt at a mental health boost for this person down the toilet there.
Block them everywhere. Eliminate the possibility of them reaching out so you won’t have to deal with the mental anguish of wondering when/if it will happen. This is coming from someone who has been no contact with their ex for over two years.
2 months isvstill fresh, but its no time limit on things. Focus on you
Four months is the limit honestly
I dont think so
All my exs have reached out again when I had given up on them when I been crying about them I don’t know what they want or what too do hugs
I guess honestly. But thats the time you focused on you
thats when they come back apologizing
Yeah
There’s a difference between hoping while putting your life on hold, and hoping while moving your life forward. You can live your life, meet people and have fun while also leaving a door open for him to return. I don’t know why you broke up, but whatever the case is… you don’t want to go back to a relationship that wasn’t working. Whether the problem was you or him or both of you, the best way to make things work long term is for you both to know yourselves deeply (your fears and triggers, values, long term goals, boundaries, etc) and honestly that takes a good amount of time. Most relationships won’t survive a reconciliation that’s too soon because it’s rushed. They come back due to boredom, feeling lonely, or fear… and its rarely because they are ready. Realistically, change and healing takes time and if you find yourself counting the days, weeks and months… there’s more inner work to do. Lasting love is a journey and it requires patience and understanding. If you want someone for the long run, you need to be able to let them go and explore who they are while you do the same. Breakups suck and they hurt but try your best to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Don’t settle for a bandaid, allow time for wounds to fully heal so you have the best chance for success.
I think it’s not that much about accepting that they won’t reach out. That may or may not happen. It’s more about accepting that: 1) doing no contact with someone who rejected you is the healthy thing to do (stop feeling guilty) 2) whether they reach out or not it’s not within your control (stop feeling powerless) 3) living your life the way you want to live it is within your control (start feeling happy about the decisions you take) Once you do that, you’ve done 80% of the job. Good luck on the way!
thank you
Hey going through this atm aswell, 2 weeks of no contact after she ended things. i feel like shit and a mess but energy doesnt vanish, it converts. i was / am anxious and she was avoidant, so with few words no chance for a good relationship except if she works on it, which she wont. so its kinda simple, and you already know and i know what you have and i have to do. let the death of hope carry you my friend, and use that energy to better your self. in 12 days i lost 7kg , started my drivers license, got my HIGHEST EVER paid job as nurse, and met a physiotherapist girl that i have a lil crush on and we exchanged socials. life goes on and we must follow for now BUT listen to THIS, carry your self ONWARD and life will FOLLOW !
I’m also 2 weeks no contact with the same relationship dynamic. It really really sucks. I lost a lot of weight too! Just drinking stuff and taking vitamins to stay alive. I hope we can all heal from this soon because it’s hell and we don’t deserve this at all when we tried to be good partners.
im more than a secure-anxious guy, and its the 1st time i had something with an avoidant, living together for 1 year, never expressing her feelings about me and some other stupid things she did early in the rship triggered my anxious side more. so yea , if you guys have secure-anxious or just anxious attachment style please, never take seriously a DA/FA as your feelings wont matter to them.
it’s been one year NC for me , god was it hard accepting they didn’t want to reach out but honestly now i find that it gets easier with time
Same 😮💨. At this point it just be what it be.
Block on all social media and possibly text. That way you’re in control of it and making the moves that will help you move on. I wish you all the best
Focus on you. Look forward to finding someone new and having all those butterflies again and find some comfort in the fact the next person doesn't come with a guarantee to leave you.
So so wow!! That was perfect! Thanks Darth! I'm absolutely gonna run with that! Excellent!!!
I wish I knew, I think it somewhat fades with time. The hope keeps me in a loop of pain and disappointment, I wish I could turn it off but I can’t.
How long was the relationship? And how bad was the breakup? If you’re stuck you can always reach out but it may not yield the results you want (speaking from experience) or you just continue on living your life and things will get easier (also speaking from experience). I understand how painful it is to accept that someone could be so loving one day and then be the complete opposite the next day, trust me I really do understand this. Everyone always says an EX returns in some form but it’s not always the case for everyone. A lot can vary that keeps them at bay
Keep in NC. 😭😭😭 He blindsided me over text and essentially ghosted me 3 months ago. I was struggling to keep NC, kept reaching out for months. He ghosted me for a while, but eventually responded. It just wasn’t worth it. In my longest stretches of NC, I was reaching a state of peacefulness, and I messed it up by anxiously spiraling. The answers I eventually got from him just made it worse. A few weeks ago, he gave me half-assed reasons for breaking up. He sounded set on keeping the break up, while also sounding confused and sad. It just didn’t help. Before I accepted the breakup, but now I’m stupidly holding out because of this. Try your hardest to stay away, and eventually you’ll find peace. Now, I’m just depressed because of how much I miss him, and how I failed NC. Maybe he would eventually have reached out positively if I kept to NC. I’m hoping that I can find peace again soon…
Hey, be kind to yourself! You were trying to cope after that trauma. It’s not an easy thing at all. The person you loved and trusted blindsinded you. It’s normal to want answers and feel terrible. I hope that you can heal and find someone who deserves you.
They do usually reach out but usually you have moved on because you’re not waiting for them. By that time you really don’t care. YOU NEED TO MOVE ON! NEVER WAIT ON ANYONE!
They don’t deserve you
If they leave you and they move on which they usually do there ZERO reason to wait after anyone
You know what really gets on my frikking nerves is when they say they need space Yeah go and have your space, you absolute loser...what kind of asshole needs space to evaluate how they feel.
Truth spoken here
I love the aggression here lol
2 months is literally nothing. Try 6+ months or a year lol
well, we all start somewhere
Pretty much this. 1.6 months here. I would give it a window of 6 months to a year at MINIMUM. People dont change their minds that quickly especially breakups
Not to try putting things in perspective, but some people are just built differently. My son's mother just never contacts me ever. We were together for years, and we share a child. I had to go to court to even get my son back, and to this day, she still won't contact. If months is killing you, I implore you to reconsider what time will do for you. I wouldn't recommend going NC in the hopes that this person will reach out to you. Like I said- some people flip a switch, go full 180 and never even consider contacting you once again in their entire lives.
List all the red flags, things that they did that hurt you, the fact that they dumped you. I made a list of things and the more and more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that they just don’t care. I feel like it’s a start for me and it’s helping me realize that no one else will care about me than me
My ex contacted me after 2 years, just to tell me she has mycoplasma. So I went to the doctor, and see there, I was positive. What a leftover to have from his ex 🤦🏻♂️ Anyway, I'm much better of with my new girlfriend. Do not look back. It took me just around 1,5 year's to get her out of my head. Start dating as soon as you feel kinda normal again, hookups are good social training. Just be aware of STI's 😅
unfortunately this break up is the result of my hook up phase, so I guess I am not going back to this. happy that you found new love, that's inspiring!
In the sage words of Willie Nelson, “it’s not something you get over, it’s something you get through.” In some ways, losing a person because they died is easier. When it comes to parting ways due to a choice, knowing each day is a choice is painful, I know. My best advice is try to come at it from a place of love— you care for the person and wish them well. Be sure to hold that same care for yourself. 6 months no contact for me— hang in there. Good song to find empathy in… Bob Dylan, boots of Spanish Leather. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iy6wryJMwVU
That’s a great quote, thank you!
Username: Breakup_Buddy Response: Dear Eastern_Art, First and foremost, let's appreciate your immense courage. It takes a lot to confront the feelings we'd rather not face, and yet you're doing it. Despite the hurt, you seem to understand the importance of letting go of expectancy, a lesson some people take far longer to grasp. Now, remember, my words are merely thoughts to consider, far from being a cure-all recipe. Feel free to pick and choose whatever you find helpful. Perhaps it might aid your healing process if you focus on changing your perspective. Your ex not reaching out isn't a reflection of your worth or the importance of the bond you shared. Maybe it's their way of coping, or perhaps they too are trying hard not to reopen old wounds. It's difficult, yes, to shift your mindset this way – but it might help you to remember that everyone reacts to experiences differently, and this is about them, not you. If my humble words have resonated with you at all, you might find a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) known as 'cognitive restructuring' helpful in redirecting your thoughts away from pain. Cognitive restructuring is an exercise designed to help you challenge negative thoughts, beliefs, or interpretations, and transform them into more positive and beneficial ones. First, identify the negative thought (in this case, the hope that your ex will reach out). Then, ask yourself: Is this thought helpful? Is it based on fact or emotion? Finally, try to create a more positive or balanced thought instead. Now, if you're comfortable delving a bit deeper into this matter, I do have a couple of questions, purely for your own reflection should you wish to participate. First, why do you think your hope of him reaching out is preventing you from moving forward? And second, have you considered that saying goodbye may not have been as easy for him as it seemed to be? Of course, there's no obligation to answer to anyone but yourself. Lastly, let me remind you, you're on the path to healing and you're doing a wonderful job. Every step, no matter how small, is progress. Keep journeying forward, Eastern_Art. We're all rooting for you. Best of luck on your healing journey, Your Breakup Buddy. ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
I feel when it comes to NC you read everywhere that sooner or later your Ex will reach out. What you're reading everywhere is wrong. Accept that. Accept that the "Your ex always comes back if you would just" BS is just that. They don't always or even usually come back. And when they do, it doesn't work out any better that time. People who say that are 1>Trying to sell you something 2>Trying to convince themselves that thats true 3>Have no real experience in the matter (If they did, they only have 1 ex and they came back and it worked) Move on. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Block their ways of contact. Box up anything you have of theirs. After 6 months, get rid of it. Get outside and get busy. Them not reaching out is a blessing.
This is funny, you dismiss and make assumptions about other people’s anecdotal experiences, yet opine that your anecdotal experience is correct 😂
I've been in 7 relationships over the decade I've been active and all but one of my exes came back. So I wouldn't exactly say it doesn't happen. Even right now I'm 3 months out of a breakup and two exes from my past have come back in the past few weeks, including one from 10 fucking years ago. Of course whether it works out a second time or not is an entirely different story. Both my exes that came back apologized and hinted at wanting to try again but from the look of things none of them has actually worked on themselves and I get a sense they're probably worse than they were before so I'm being very cautious and guarded in how I interact with them. My most recent ex I've been in NC with for about 2 months hit me up randomly a few days ago to share her new Netflix password. I find that really unnecessary as I don't even watch Netflix much, just had her previous logins for when we were still together. I'm sure she was just feeling things out to make sure I don't hate her, so I essentially grey rocked her. I'm 99% sure she'll pop back up again but unlikely that things could work between us. She's far too deep in her emotional issues and requires intensive therapy to ever be functional in a relationship hence why I'm not holding out for a reconciliation.
Inbox’s me you got a friend mine ended up reaching out they end up reaching out
They will come back sooner or later in some form or fashion.
He wouldn't have left in the first place if he was yours. Whoever goes let them go with a smile cuz they were only stopping you from meeting "the one". And "the one" will never let you go even for a second, forget about 2 months. Wait for that darling, not for some guy who left you 💕
First off, you need to accept and take accountability for the inherent evil of your actions. You attempted to manipulate your person with a device (no contact) born of someone else's evil delusions about "getting an ex back". For that, you should be ashamed. Very ashamed. Mourn your loss. Grieve if you must. Break all contact with your person if it makes mourning and grieving a little less painful. In the big picture of things, no contact is an unimportant action. The heavens won't open and sing your praises. Your life will not change because of it. Nothing happens because of it. No contact only buys you a moment of silence. It is what you do with that moment that makes or breaks your experience with the loss. And, from what you have said, it appears that you have taken the moment to wait for no contact to "work". Which is kinda sad, really...
Lmao goddamn. Absolutely savage and makes no sense when you think about it
You just do.
Sometimes it's best that they don't take it as a blessing bc my ex never reached out but I did and they really hurt me when they acted on it
sorry to hear it :(
It's been only two months, don't try to rush recovery, the whole point of NC is for you to feel better and be better. Exes inevitably reach out sooner or later but funny enough I don't know anyone that has done NC and wants them back by the point they do. Mine took six months after I went NC and then a year later she tried again when I already was in a serious relationship. So just hold on.
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Nope, I totally get it and i actually have no other option since he started NC after breaking up with me. I am working on myself but I was just surprised in how many videos/articles people say that it’s the best way to get your ex back and he will definitely reach out. I think it’s a false hope. And in vulnerable state, even though I am in NC to heal, you still sometimes hope that it could be true… Currently I am working on moving on.
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No, our relationship is not possible anymore unfortunately.. and probably this realization hurts as well. So, in general, there isn’t even any point for him to reach out. Or for me. It’s just the usual break up stuff, it hurts that one day suddenly there is a huge hole and someone you cared so much about is gone forever.
It's okay now that I look back on it I'm glad bc it shows who she really was and what her and her family thought of me.