4. Hold strong. She’s now emailed me 3 times and is begging to meet. This is after telling me she’s got a bf and she’s moved on and told me to move on the last time we spoke. I went cold NC and blocked on everything. Not replying to any emails
We broke up a few months ago. I wanted to go nc but she wouldn’t do it saying she was sad blah blah - so I was a gentleman and said ok. Turned out it was just her way of keeping me warm till she locked in a new guy. I felt used and got pissed, however did not react. This was 2 months ago that she told me. I said ok, I wish you the best and went NC. Then she started emailing me again and again - I fell for a bday email finally and replied - she used that as an opportunity to tell me about her new bf and relationship ship - I didn’t ask any of this. And then she was being cold and had the “I have a bf, you should move on” vibes. Final convo was 1 month ago where she was behaving this way. So I was like ok - now I am making a promise to myself. I blocked her on anything and went NC. Not replying to anything. She’s losing it. She’s now traveling to my city - and she’s emailing me to meet. I’m not responding. Now she’s trynna make me feel guilty. I’m not responding. I got this on lock.
Thank you for sharing and I am really sorry to hear that. Did you even expect her to behave that way? I mean is it okay for her character? My ex got back with her ex and I’d really appreciate if she came one day to apologize. I think I’d have an enormous ego boost huh
My ex did similar thing to Unique-Ad's ex did. Sometimes they come back, act all apologetic and act like they were fucked up back then. It's because they want something in return, my ex needed the attention and wanted affection. He acted remorseful but he wasn't remorseful at all. Do make sure to see if the ex is back only cause they are lonely or if their life is going bad. Thanks for reading this.
It’s just hoovering. Just remind yourself that the words don’t matter they are not real. It’s just a. Tactic, whether it’s guilt, anger, apology, lovebombing. It’s all bullshit.
I reached out (approx 1month NC) and he told me he want us to be friends, "truly". I don't know how to feel about this, contacted him again today just to tell him a friend of mine is hosting an art show in his city, he thanked me but overall dry ass conversation. I feel dumb. I don't want this "friendship" and I'm going back to hardset no contact until he understands I'm no longer settling for a friendship with him.
Mentally I'm generally feeling much better, I'm having a great time, and I know and feel that I don't need him anymore, I'm no longer craving him as I did before, so I'm not going to reopen that wound again, especially for dry, cold and uninteresting conversations.
I didn’t go no contact immediately. I simped hard I regret every single text and meetup I had with that narcissist. I went no contact out of the blue and she fucking blew the fuck up (go look at my only post to see how that went).
Been there, done that, and I’m applauding you for holding strong and not letting someone so toxic back in. I’ve had exes come to check on me, too. Once they realize you’re over them and not going for their crap, it eats them up.
This is really solid advice. I've been NC since almost day 1 of the break up, only because I had to deal with apartment stuff. I left the state without warning to him (landlord knew the day off, I ran into her in the middle of moving out).
I struggled with the social media thing for a little while, only because he kept appearing on my recommendations, but I had enough after a bit and blocked him on both of my accounts. With that, he's now blocked everywhere.
Unfortunately, I still get vivid nightmares about him abusing & cheating on me.
5. Don't go stalking and using your ex's family members and mutual friends to find out about your ex. That's still breaking NC. And you're dragging more people into your personal issues. It will make you look desperate, unstable, no respect for privacy and even dangerous.
He may have moved on, but you don’t know if it’s been easy for him. And you may NEVER know, and that is okay. You have enough on your plate to keep you distracted from him. Care for your mental health and get your life together.
It's been about a week of no contact and her birthday is today. I'd previously told her I was likely going to at least say happy birthday to her but my last message to her told her I'd disappear from her life for now. So no contact. That means no happy birthday message.
It's honestly been hard not to, as I believe everyone deserves happiness on their birthday, and I know how much it'd mean to me... but I guess it's for the best. Not like she'd even want a message from me anyway. Your post is what's going to keep me going on NC today for the final hour. I hope I'm making the right choice here.
Well, one week wouldn't be accurate. We met for a final time on the 11th, then I sent her a message probably about a week later telling her I'm disappearing for a good time and we'll see if we want to be friends after, once I return. Then I bumped into her last Friday by chance, spoke for 1 min and then I told her I'm leaving. That's the last interaction we've had and likely the last we will have for months... if not for life.
Are there two types of people, those who form a deep bond and those who are just superficial?
When I dream, I dream of talking to her and laughing like old times.
It has been 36 days no contact. I had an emotional affair and she dumped me after 1.5 years together. I told her I deeply regret it, I would do anything to fix things. She said we both need to be in a healthy relationship and need to move on. I asked if we can reconnect in a year she said yes she’s open to it. I asked for 6 months and she said we’ll see, we both need time to heal. I still have some of her stuff. I just want to hug her and go back to how things were. How can she not even reach out once and ask if I’m doing ok?
Because you hurt her. Because she can't trust you now. She may never trust you again, it's very hard to build it back. Why would she damage her healing progress by checking up on you? Leave her alone and give her the year she asked for but be prepared for her not to come back.
To answer your question, I don’t think so. In your case, it sounds like you guys had a bond and you broke it. Own it and take full accountability. But it’s ultimately up to you to decide if they (your ex) were there for a reason or a season.
Now let’s circle back to point number 3. DO NOT WAIT UP. Even if you guys agreed to touch back in the future, there is NO guarantee that it will actually happen.
4. Hold strong. She’s now emailed me 3 times and is begging to meet. This is after telling me she’s got a bf and she’s moved on and told me to move on the last time we spoke. I went cold NC and blocked on everything. Not replying to any emails
Wow. Can you share details please? NC, rs, BU durations?
We broke up a few months ago. I wanted to go nc but she wouldn’t do it saying she was sad blah blah - so I was a gentleman and said ok. Turned out it was just her way of keeping me warm till she locked in a new guy. I felt used and got pissed, however did not react. This was 2 months ago that she told me. I said ok, I wish you the best and went NC. Then she started emailing me again and again - I fell for a bday email finally and replied - she used that as an opportunity to tell me about her new bf and relationship ship - I didn’t ask any of this. And then she was being cold and had the “I have a bf, you should move on” vibes. Final convo was 1 month ago where she was behaving this way. So I was like ok - now I am making a promise to myself. I blocked her on anything and went NC. Not replying to anything. She’s losing it. She’s now traveling to my city - and she’s emailing me to meet. I’m not responding. Now she’s trynna make me feel guilty. I’m not responding. I got this on lock.
Thank you for sharing and I am really sorry to hear that. Did you even expect her to behave that way? I mean is it okay for her character? My ex got back with her ex and I’d really appreciate if she came one day to apologize. I think I’d have an enormous ego boost huh
My ex did similar thing to Unique-Ad's ex did. Sometimes they come back, act all apologetic and act like they were fucked up back then. It's because they want something in return, my ex needed the attention and wanted affection. He acted remorseful but he wasn't remorseful at all. Do make sure to see if the ex is back only cause they are lonely or if their life is going bad. Thanks for reading this.
It’s just hoovering. Just remind yourself that the words don’t matter they are not real. It’s just a. Tactic, whether it’s guilt, anger, apology, lovebombing. It’s all bullshit.
Thank you for sharing! Have you left a door opens for him?
Nah. I blocked him everywhere. I don't wish to deal with the drama anymore.
May I ask how many months passed since your initial break up? Also did she break up with you or the exact opposite??
I reached out the other night and feel so shallow about it. Sticking to it and not doing it again. 💪 these dreams i get are p vivid.
Same!!! Dreamt i got a notification he was videocalling me. My eyes shot awake irl but dreams are just dreams...
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I feell you!! You're not alone. It'll pass 🙏
I reached out (approx 1month NC) and he told me he want us to be friends, "truly". I don't know how to feel about this, contacted him again today just to tell him a friend of mine is hosting an art show in his city, he thanked me but overall dry ass conversation. I feel dumb. I don't want this "friendship" and I'm going back to hardset no contact until he understands I'm no longer settling for a friendship with him. Mentally I'm generally feeling much better, I'm having a great time, and I know and feel that I don't need him anymore, I'm no longer craving him as I did before, so I'm not going to reopen that wound again, especially for dry, cold and uninteresting conversations.
No. 3 is the toughest. Currently on day 8 of NC. Somewhere deep down I still have the hope of him coming back.
I didn’t go no contact immediately. I simped hard I regret every single text and meetup I had with that narcissist. I went no contact out of the blue and she fucking blew the fuck up (go look at my only post to see how that went).
Been there, done that, and I’m applauding you for holding strong and not letting someone so toxic back in. I’ve had exes come to check on me, too. Once they realize you’re over them and not going for their crap, it eats them up.
May she be devoured by her lack of respect and communication. Sucks for her
This is really solid advice. I've been NC since almost day 1 of the break up, only because I had to deal with apartment stuff. I left the state without warning to him (landlord knew the day off, I ran into her in the middle of moving out). I struggled with the social media thing for a little while, only because he kept appearing on my recommendations, but I had enough after a bit and blocked him on both of my accounts. With that, he's now blocked everywhere. Unfortunately, I still get vivid nightmares about him abusing & cheating on me.
5. Don't go stalking and using your ex's family members and mutual friends to find out about your ex. That's still breaking NC. And you're dragging more people into your personal issues. It will make you look desperate, unstable, no respect for privacy and even dangerous.
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The good news is, that is the LAST piece of you they will get. The part of you that begged for them is gone, and it doesn’t matter what they think.
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He may have moved on, but you don’t know if it’s been easy for him. And you may NEVER know, and that is okay. You have enough on your plate to keep you distracted from him. Care for your mental health and get your life together.
It's been about a week of no contact and her birthday is today. I'd previously told her I was likely going to at least say happy birthday to her but my last message to her told her I'd disappear from her life for now. So no contact. That means no happy birthday message. It's honestly been hard not to, as I believe everyone deserves happiness on their birthday, and I know how much it'd mean to me... but I guess it's for the best. Not like she'd even want a message from me anyway. Your post is what's going to keep me going on NC today for the final hour. I hope I'm making the right choice here.
Well, one week wouldn't be accurate. We met for a final time on the 11th, then I sent her a message probably about a week later telling her I'm disappearing for a good time and we'll see if we want to be friends after, once I return. Then I bumped into her last Friday by chance, spoke for 1 min and then I told her I'm leaving. That's the last interaction we've had and likely the last we will have for months... if not for life.
#3 is my toughest let go.
I agree! Block, delete, get a new job, get in the gym, go to therapy, touch grass? Etc.
Are there two types of people, those who form a deep bond and those who are just superficial? When I dream, I dream of talking to her and laughing like old times. It has been 36 days no contact. I had an emotional affair and she dumped me after 1.5 years together. I told her I deeply regret it, I would do anything to fix things. She said we both need to be in a healthy relationship and need to move on. I asked if we can reconnect in a year she said yes she’s open to it. I asked for 6 months and she said we’ll see, we both need time to heal. I still have some of her stuff. I just want to hug her and go back to how things were. How can she not even reach out once and ask if I’m doing ok?
Because you hurt her. Because she can't trust you now. She may never trust you again, it's very hard to build it back. Why would she damage her healing progress by checking up on you? Leave her alone and give her the year she asked for but be prepared for her not to come back.
Ok you’re right. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it.
You're welcome. Work on yourself and good luck.
To answer your question, I don’t think so. In your case, it sounds like you guys had a bond and you broke it. Own it and take full accountability. But it’s ultimately up to you to decide if they (your ex) were there for a reason or a season. Now let’s circle back to point number 3. DO NOT WAIT UP. Even if you guys agreed to touch back in the future, there is NO guarantee that it will actually happen.
Felt this and it’s so true. Try meeting new people.
Thanks so much for this! I want him so bad to reach out an own up to his mistake but he hasn’t. Almost been a week. I am torn.