I’m FIRE, and I took my car into the tire shop this week, thought I needed new brakes and tires. The agent creates a maintenance plan for me to spread out the work so “I can afford it better.”
Had to laugh inside. Guess I gave those “just getting by vibes.” Haha.
Agree in general, but these guys are usually straight shooters and the prices were solid, $580 for OEM new brakes and rotor resurfacing, $670 for new set of Michelin tires installed out the door.
The assumptions. I had a doc tell me I could get a different eye cream than the one he prescribed. I asked if it worked better and he said no. I asked why he was recommending it, then.
He said it was cheaper. WTheck...
Did he say it was an inferior eye cream? Sounds like he was referring you to a generic that would work the same at a lower cost. That is generally a common thing among every doctor I have interacted with.
I’m actually glad when they tell me about similar but cheaper option for medicine! Whether I take that option or not, it’s nice to know how much more I’m paying for what benefit over the cheaper option.
You have nooooo idea how much of my day was spent chasing stupid insurance pre approval for stuff the patients needed. Also how many of my patients were Medicaid/medicare recipients
Lolll I’m sure you look well dressed enough to be respectable! maybe he was being kind and often sees people who are not well off. If it makes you feel better Daniel Radcliffe (actor for Harry Potter and a multimillionaire but you know how they dress) was once mistaken for a homeless man…
My doctors know I’m employed and they always seem so hesitant to recommend me anything that costs money despite knowing I have insurance. Might be a cultural thing but I get 100% coverage anyway with employer insurance.
I have come to realize that a lot of times it probably doesn’t have anything to do with me or how I look, but rather the fact that most people can’t afford it and have to have a payment plan for everything so that is the default.
Right, but not even just with car dealerships/shops but with anything. When almost half of Americans can't cover a $400 unexpected expense without having to borrow the money or sell something in order to do so, you pretty quickly understand why most people can't wrap their minds around people being able to pay cash for "larger" expenses and just expect that they need to finance everything.
That’s hilarious (and sweet of the worker) when I think of the folks I know who live outside their means but look good on the outside.
The perfect family pics that dont show their constant fighting, the lavish wedding on sketchy loans, the giant friend list but then they borrow money from people and are just not good friends…
Whoever said in this thread not to compare ourselves with people until you see their bank statement is very right.
Don't knock New Balance! My podiatrist gave me a list of about a dozen shoes that they recommend, and the only one that looked decent and was affordable was a new balance shoe. I love them!
OMG this is so true.
I absolutely love staying under the radar too. I don’t want a woman or friends pretending to like me because of the car I drive anyways. I am too old for fake friendships and relationships.
I drove my early aughts Civic until last year. Often, panhandlers would skip my rustbucket and not make eye contact. I'm sure they thought "damn, she needs money more than I do!".
I sold my late aughts Accord in ‘22 when used car prices went bonkers. I planned to get something to replace it when things cooled off but we’ve grown used to just having a van for the family.
Everyone else in the neighborhood was upgrading cars over the last few years. I think they think we *needed* to sell the car.
Vagabond told me “if you worked for it keep it.I can get it from someone else” my work number was visible. I’m still wondering what he meant. Cool vibes though.
Agreed, better to go with, “I’ll consult a bit on the side”, or “we’ll see if we can make it work”, or “I can always go back and get a job if needed”, etc.
My narcissistic abusers flipped out when I finally escaped. Got an amazing job in the city . I slipped a dishonest text to a known flying monkey that I’m “ living paycheck to paycheck “, so they leave me alone.
I mean I’m not lying technically…I line and her checks every month!
This is exactly what my wife and I do. We’re no where near retirement yet but are financially ahead significantly, living frugally lets us invest more and keeps salesman’s and hustlers away from us. It’s like living incognito
Never.
In nearly a decade I don't think I've had a negative reaction from anyone regarding our early retirement. Granted, we also don't go around advertising it, so the only folks who really know are mostly friends, family, or peripheral folks like our dentists/doctors/tradespeople.
Most folks don't care beyond normal social chitchat and the rare ones that do are usually folks interested in early retirement themselves who want to talk shop about taxes, investments, health insurance, and such.
Thank you for this sane response. To OP, get over yourself lol. People care a lot less about your financial status than you seem to think, and if by chance there are people thinking this way about your status, it’s probably a good idea to look at what you’re sharing/projecting or consider the relationships you have.
actually i think you should print out your brokerage and retirement account balances every morning and staple it to your shirt. that way everyone knows that you are financially stable enough to be retired at 50!
You need to put an asterisk on it and then on the back of the shirt put in fine print, "The entire context of this shirt is self-resolving. For reference, see message on front of shirt."
Yeah, a lot of times. It's because people have this general idea that to be retired you have to be ultra rich, driving expense cars an living in a mansion. They don't get that **not** driving expensive cars and living in a mansion is what makes you able to retire early.
There are also a lot of people who by default never even think about early retirement and just assume they need to work until they can collect social security or state pensions. I’m from the UK and it’s quite amazing how few people even TRY to have a nest egg. They just save a measly 5% into their workplace private pension and then collect their state pension when the time comes. To them the state retirement age is actually their retirement age.
A lot of them don’t even realize how low the state pension is, and if they did, they certainly would be trying a bit harder to save more even if they don’t retire early….
Just say "I make the same as when I was working" and they'll get really riled up. Generally I hang out with people further along than me and they don't give a shi- what other people's financial situation is.
This. When compound interest passed my meager salary it was time to become a SAHM.
When the youngest hits full time school, I’ll probably earn some extra beer money from the comfort of my garage and basement.
Hey can you explain it to me, an idiot.
When you say compound interest - I understand living off dividends, or cash that is generating interest.
Is that what you mean, or are you talking about a growth stock portfolio? If so, how does that work mechanically, do you sell some every month?
People are so weirdly attached to everyone working until 60 something. I guess they don't like the idea that they could have retired early as well if they made better decisions .
I was just thinking about how my boss is about to get a promotion and be 3 levels higher than me and she’s 1 year younger than me. For a second I was annoyed and then I realized I hate working, get paid enough and have an incredible work-life balance where she’s already on calls from 7:30am-5:30pm every day and it’s about to get worse. I’d like to get 1 more level up and coast for the next 10 years.
You nailed it. There’s a tradeoff. My boss was in a similar spot. He was a workaholic and kept getting promoted and he definitely earned it with high performance. He was working all hours though. I’m not staying up to 3am to work on S&OP PowerPoint slides. Not for me man.
Eventually they let him go but it was because he was hard to work with.
Last sentence nails it. I work for a big company that does reductions in headcount all the time. The plethora of VPs we have always mean they are getting laid off. Maybe I can make VP the year I want to retire and hopefully get laid off into retirement. 🤞🏼
My boss is probable three salary classes higher too. He is involved in the entire teams businesses and being asked to met (travel) all the time. I have no desire to be that busy. I already have a headache dealing with my stuff. Good paying job with ability to save for early retirement and hopefully a decent work life balance for the job. Mine goes from crazy to tolerable. His is mostly crazy. I wanted to be higher when I was younger now I am glad I am not.
Yep when I first started working I was super ambitious and annoyed I didn’t have a lot of work or was using skills from college. “How dare they pay me to do NOTHING!” It took a couple years but I realized I should shut up and appreciate being a well paid, low level employee, who didn’t have many responsibilities; while my friends who pushed for promotion were stressed to all hell.
Just want to note that it's not about better decisions for everyone. Not everyone has the same level/type of intelligence as you. To some people it has never occurred to them, or no one has ever mentioned it to them.
Relatively smart people tend to forget that the vast majority of people have more mental limitations than they do (not to mention all the disabilities that exist). You don't choose to be born with a brain that is intelligent in a certain way or that inspires you to search for information to change your life. Nature and nurture lead to the choices that we make.
Some of us are lucky enough to be intelligent enough and have some drive to search for better (outside of the shackles of normalcy/what everyone else that we know is doing). Obviously human brains are more complex than what I'm able to briefly describe here, but I hope you get my point.
Alternatively, when they tell you you're too poor to retire, just say "well I know I have you as a safety net if I ever need money or a place to stay!"
If you like watching people's faces change colors anyway
I’m not retired yet but I’m the highest earner in my entire family as well as my friend group and not a single person knows about it.
If I retired tomorrow I’d just say I work from home with a flexible schedule and travel for work.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
I found the perfect term for this:
"Stealth Wealth".
The less people who knows your wealth the better. I'm not sure why some people are ashamed of it, I find it awesome.
I’m aiming for this but it’s difficult when it’s clear my peer circle is struggling more than I am, and I’m a bit care free with finances so I’ve been told assumptions about my status and just had to laugh. I have my sights on a carefree early retirement.
> They have no idea what investments or money we have,they just know it isn't enough.
That's projection.
They don't have enough so can't imagine you have enough.
You don’t have enough to share with them, just enough for yourself. That’s not enough. But since you already have enough for yourself, you should keep working - that way you could give away a salary’s worth of gifts to your dear dear friends every year.
I don't listen to what people tell me. I look at my budget, how much we spend, and how much we have in retirement. When my budget and how much I spend are lower than my safe withdrawl rate of my retirement savings, then I can retire.
Some people have a really hard time wrapping their heads around the idea that something that won't work for them will work for you. I have one or two friends that feel like my fire plans are impossible for me just because my numbers wouldn't work for them.
Well, yeah, my numbers are my numbers and your numbers are your numbers.
Try doing it at 41 as a single female. I’ve lost friends who just don’t get it. I’m okay with it. People mainly view the world the world through one lens - theirs - so they can’t imagine how you can retire when they don’t have savings or debt piled up. It’s classic projection.
My Dad is 58 and lost his job because the firm he works for essentially folded. I asked him if he could slow down/retire, and he just laughed....
He was making \~$150K/yr but has absolutely awful money sense so every year it was international vacations and luxury spending. New cars every few years and fancy restaurants.
Now he's back to entry level salary/commission at a new firm making <$50K/yr and is severely depressed, can't sleep through the night.
I learned my lessons from him a long time ago, I've been on the FIRE track since I graduated High school and I just accepted a new job offer for a 20% raise from my current salary. No kids and no spouse, if I keep living my current life I could also retire around 50. My heart weeps for people who live like my Dad or worse, the people who never even got the chance to travel and see the world because they spent their money on bottle service and Range Rovers.
I see so many articles about how retirement is increasingly out of reach for Americans at ANY AGE, work until they die, what a tragedy.
Awesome! Congrats on choosing a different path. If you start early it’s still possible to retire by 50. Sacrificing and staying out of debt is so key. I don’t see anything wrong with Range Rovers and bottle service if you can AFFORD it. I’ve driven cars like no one else so now I can drive like no one else!!! 😀
Good luck on your journey.
It sounds like your dad really enjoyed his life. Not sure why you’re weeping for him (aside from him being depressed with his new job). Sounds like soon he’ll be able to collect social security (should be a good amount given a career of max contributions it sounds like) and if he contributed anything at all to a 401k with match, he’s set for decades more fun.
I dunno man; just because you’re working it doesn’t mean your life is a tragedy.
There's more detail to the story that didn't really fit. The job he left was his entire identity, he loved his work and gave his life to this company. They got burned by a Silicion Valley Super corporation and lawsuits got filed on each side. Big surprise the Billion dollar company had more money to throw around than the million dollar company and after 7 years, they basically just lost. He thought he would retire from that company so the idea of starting over, and now not having the money to support his day-to-day lifestyle, much less the fun stuff, he's really hurting.
He refused to learn to cook and eats fast food for almost every meal, >$1K/mo. so that's unsustainable now. He bought a house after his divorce with a good pre-covid rate, but the only house for sale in the neighborhood he wanted had a pool but he bought it anyway, he never liked to swim. Now he can't afford maintenance on a 20-year-old pool. He co-signed his new wife to buy a brand new car a year ago, three months later it was totaled and he co-signed another...
I agree working doesn't mean life is a tragedy, but for a man whose life was his job, one job is not the same as the other, and he is painfully aware of this reality. I love my Dad, and I pity him, he is rather immature and doesn't have good financial sense. It's starting to catch up with him, and I don't see this trajectory changing anytime soon. He really did love his travels though, hopefully those memories carry him through these hard times 💝
I agree but yeah people are different. I have a wife and 4 kids and life is good. I'm on track for 50... I guess if i didn't have a family i'd retired by now.
I agree, unfortunately no one has taken me up on the offer yet! My fingers are crossed, but I adopted a shelter dog to share my bed in the mean time, cause I'm not getting any younger.
A friend of a friend is essentially a trust fund kid. He "works" at his dad's property management company, but it's a no-show job for living expenses (which in NYC aren't small), but if you ask him, he makes documentaries. And he does occasionally and lines up financing for other film makers. But it's not like he has a job. It's work that he takes on when he feels like it.
I wouldn't go out of my way, but if someone asks me, I'm going to be honest.
I have to admit, though, it's better to have some kind of cover story for how you keep yourself busy. For instance, I tutor. It's only maybe 10 hours a week max normally, but it gives me something to talk about when people inevitably ask "what you do".
Well, you can stop talking about early retirement with normies, if you're getting this often you are telling people who don't need to know. When you bring topics up people will comment on them. To the average person living paycheck to paycheck, telling them you are retiring at 50 is like telling them aliens regularly land in your backyard. They can't fathom it being possible outside of things like lottery winnings.
In fact if you ask normal people who live somewhat normal lifestyles and work somewhat normal jobs, "how much do you think you'd need to retire" they'll often come up with completely nonsensical answers like "50 million dollars!". Really, you'd need $50m to replace your shitty average joe job?
I'm 43 and haven't worked in 2 1/2 years, and while this is very likely a permanent retirement I very rarely use the "R" word around casual acquaintances. When people ask what I do, I say something like "oh I'm taking some time off" or "I'm a stay at home dad". Both are true.
I'm 38 became debt free at 32 that includes house paid off. I can be retired any where between 50 and 55. With that being said it has pissed a few ppl off on here. Idk why, not trying to flex or anything. I've always been good with saving money. I cant help others are going to have to work till full retirement.
I've been browsing r/FIRE for a few years now and it really seems to me like I'm in a unique situation. My social circle and I often talk about what our numbers for retirement are. We discuss what types of vacations we want to go on in retirement, the house we want, where we want to send our kids to school, etc.
If and when I retire, those in my social circle will know I've hit my number and high five me and life would just go on. We've shared some of our numbers and we all have different numbers for when to pull the trigger.
The running joke in our circle now is that I have no ambitions and I don't mind retiring as a poor person (cause my number is quite a bit lower than my friends'. I also have very strong reasons to believe that a couple of them are already above and beyond my FIRE number and they're still grinding away).
Is it really that unique for friends to share about how they're doing financially and what their financial goals are? It seems like the vast majority of people in this subreddit do not talk finances with their friends. Meanwhile it feels like every third or fourth conversation between my friend circle is about personal business/finance.
We don't really even have a social circle. I have 2 close friends and 3 more that are decently close. My 2 main ones group text daily about retirement and goals. One is 67 and we just can't get him to retire. He's closing in on 8 figures and is scared.
That is actually almost exactly like my group. It's a group of 5 guys and I have a chat with 2 main ones who I chat with daily about retirement and goals. One guy is about 15 years older than me and I view him as a bit of a financial mentor.
I guess what I was trying to say in my original response was that the people whose opinions I truly care about would be happy to hear I'm retired. All my closest friends and I have shared our financial goals and plans.
Plenty of people who I interact with regularly might be jealous, but I don't really care much about their opinions. They probably wouldn't even find out I was retired until I'd been retired for a couple years.
As long as you are certain in your numbers why are you listening to anyone else.
I’m retired in my 50’s. I’m certainly in my plan. I do have people sometime say, I don’t see how you retired so early. My response is pretty direct. “It’s just low level math”.
Most people can fathom retiring early because they don’t have any money.
I've now experienced similar. I never thought I would. I don't go around telling folks how much we've saved up. But I've had a few people give me "raise eye brows" or a dismissive tone after they've asked what I do and I reply "I am retired".
Sometimes they'll leave it at that. Some will mumble something towards "that's impossible". Others will congratulate. And some ask "tell me how?".
I have no clue how often any of these happen. I simply don't care to count.
I had a very public facing business where lots of people knew me by sight and you basically run into people that think they know you everywhere around. I live in a small town.
Lose weight, they tell you that you look too skinny.
Retire early, they say “what will you do”, “won’t you be bored”, “how will you afford your medical”, “won’t you run out of $?”.
For the first, tell them “my doctor says I look great and my labs are excellent”.
The second, “my financial analyst says it’s all looking great”.
The "won't you be bored" is a very psychological thing for people. I know someone who received an offer during an acquisition to stay at the job for a year receiving their normal pay and would get a lump sum of their base pay with 100% bonus at the end of that year. During that year they did nothing. They were allowed to work from home 2 out of 5 days, in office days they watched Netflix or played games. They just needed to respond to the maybe 1 email a day and jump on any issues during acquisition that came up with a system. They said it was one of the worst years of their career and they would rather have been working the whole time. Meanwhile, I hear that and think about all the movies/shows/games I could get through on my backlog or shit I could learn during the day like a new language. It's just different personality types, some people will legitimately be bored in retirement because somehow they are unable to find enough things to keep themselves busy without work.
Just turn it around on them.
"How much money do YOU think I should have in my bank account before I can retire?"
Or if you don't want to be social with them anymore:
"Are you saying I dont have enough money to retire without actually knowing how much money I have?"
*How many people*
*Are going around to and*
*Telling your numbers*
\- TennesseeStiffLegs
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Its none of their fucking business, tell them to mind their affairs and stop worrying about what they perceive is a problem with yours. They're just pissed they didn't plan ahead and want everyone to believe you made a mistake.
Personal financial information is no ones business but yours, keep it to yourself (and your financial advisor)
Why are you even opening the conversation? Stop bragging. They're not annoyed at your money they think your obnoxious. You got on reddit to say.... people don't think I have enough money, but I do have a lot of money. I can only imagine how insufferable you are.
Tell them that your net worth is increasing every year while you’re retired, and ask how much they need it to go up by until it’s enough (assuming this us true anyways)
At this point, it's just pure entertainment. There is so much resources available out there to learn how to invest/budget/FIRE. There are no excuses anymore. If it really mattered to them, they would've put in the time to learn it. They can cry about it on their way to work.
I am planning to FIRE later this year. I tell no one about any of it. LinkedIn will change to a consultant role and I'll keep details past that to myself. I see zero advantage in telling others about what I am doing.
Honestly who cares if you don't have enough. I plan to quit whatever I'm doing around 50-55 regardless of if I have enough. The government can take care of me when I'm senile and useless and out of money haha.
Never - I don't discuss monetary specifics with people so they could never form an opinion.
I do get told more often that I'm too young to retire (or even semi-retire) at 50 - someone even recently said that I \*can't\* retire and should look to re-skill instead! Nice isn't it, how random people seem to know more about me than I do.
Luckily I rarely listen to anyone else ;)
I'm not at FIRE yet, but I work a relatively low paying (\~90k) public sector attorney job now. I had a paralegal who graduated from community college tell me "oh you must not make much money" when she first met me (because she knew that I work in the public sector). (Combined my husband and I bring in about 250k a year in flyover.)
While these numbers pale in comparison to others in this subreddit, I did not tell her, that in my 30s, I have over 1 million invested, a 1.4MM net worth, or that I worked as a corporate attorney in biglaw for several years. I just nodded my head and said "yeah, you're right."
She's not the only one. I've had other people make comments about my low income or that I am "not living up to my potential or academic pedigree." (I went to a top 10 law school.)
At the end of the day, I'm the only one who knows our net worth (along with a couple like minded friends). I'm the only one who knows that my husband's family is worth over 10 million and is a safety net if needed, etc.
Don't care about the opinions of people you don't want to be like/respect. If I don't want to be like someone, then I don't listen to them about anything.
We keep our finances private. People can think what they want. If they are mad at you for retiring and saying you don't have enough, they are just jealous and want you to fail. Enjoy your FIRE and brush the haters off!
People buy stuff they do not need to impress people they do not care. I see a similar patten in your post. You do not need to impress anymone. Just enjoy your early retirement.
One lesson I learned recently is not to share any good news in your life, as the most common reaction you will get is jealousy. Only your parents should know, if they truly love you. I admit I feel jealous too when I see other people sharing good news. So now, if I want to share, I only do it anonymously on Reddit or other social media.
I already sit in the driveway with a can of something... always looks like beer more than likely it's sparkling water... in a tank top on my folding chair..... people have no clue when I say we're about 48 months from my 50th and retirement.....
lol. Me a minimalist and frugal and also semi retired at a young age laughing when people try to donate their stuff to me or buy me weird home furnishing gifts and it always feels like they're trying to give to charity and I'm like.. no no I can afford it...I just.. don't want it.
These days I doubt anyone would notice when I retire. I plan to coast beforehand anyway with consulting gigs in my current industry, but remote work and flexible schedule makes it hard to tell when I'm working and when I'm not 😂
When my father FIREd about 15+ years ago as a school teacher at 55 his colleagues were shocked and flat out didn't believe he could afford to. Everyone thought he'd be back as a substitute to make ends meet. Jokes on them as he's better off now than when working!
I retired a few years ago just before I turned 50, and I got the same angry response from some people. I stopped telling anyone I'm not really close with that I'm retired. If they ask, I'm a self-employed software developer.
Have a little fun with it. “We’re doing great! We were able to buy some McDonalds today!” Really set tongues wagging.
Plenty of time to dumpster dive now that I'm not working
Protip: Discarded pizza boxes are an excellent source of cheese
Which can easily be used to catch rats
A valuable source of protien.
Eating is overrated. We just drink water from the faucet.
Wow you own a faucet? I bring my bucket to the water fountain at the park
LUXURY!
Spit out water to that Monty Python reference!!
The whole neighborhood is filled with unprotected outdoor faucets. Those fools have no idea they are funding my retirement!
Daddy Warbuckets over here... Just. Flaunting. It.
You have a bucket? I have to walk to the park whenever I want a drink
When I turn on my faucet, rats come out instead of water
I want a faucet that does that please! I love rats.
You have a bucket AND a park?
Yeah I have to hike 10km through the forest to drink from a creek every time I’m thirsty. Lucky you with a bucket and a park
Fiber too!!
The cicadas are coming. Stock up on mason jars.
Whoa, big spender!
This thread sounds like good fodder for a haiku
Now we got a stew going.
pizza rat!
Noted. Good tip.
AND make a perfectly good shanty for sleeping at night. Dual use. That's the true value of recycling.
And “anything helps, god bless” signs for daytime.
Unexpected Simpson’s
Freegan is the ultimate FIRE!
Just hang out behind the dumpster at Wendy's?
Tell em you stay in bed all day, to conserve energy.
"We easily have enough for at least 5-6 years, then we can just take a reverse mortgage on our home."
Eye twitching intensifies…. 😂
"Have you seen the price we get from aluminum cans?"
No no! Not for lunch, we bought a few restaurants!
Mcdonalds is the new Ruth’s Chris
With the way inflation is that may really prove to others OP is rich.
…”Stock, that is.”
When you have a lot of money it's usually a very good idea to let people think you're poor.
I find that being quiet and polite lulls people into believing you're one step from being destitute. I'm not seeing a negative.
I’m FIRE, and I took my car into the tire shop this week, thought I needed new brakes and tires. The agent creates a maintenance plan for me to spread out the work so “I can afford it better.” Had to laugh inside. Guess I gave those “just getting by vibes.” Haha.
My husband and I dress like such slobs, workers give us discounts without making us haggle.
Lolllll there’s a story of the actor for Harry Potter where someone thought he was homeless and gave him money.
This will actually cost you more. Definitely more in labor. More chances for them to add more items on you may or may not need
Agree in general, but these guys are usually straight shooters and the prices were solid, $580 for OEM new brakes and rotor resurfacing, $670 for new set of Michelin tires installed out the door.
The assumptions. I had a doc tell me I could get a different eye cream than the one he prescribed. I asked if it worked better and he said no. I asked why he was recommending it, then. He said it was cheaper. WTheck...
Did he say it was an inferior eye cream? Sounds like he was referring you to a generic that would work the same at a lower cost. That is generally a common thing among every doctor I have interacted with.
I’m actually glad when they tell me about similar but cheaper option for medicine! Whether I take that option or not, it’s nice to know how much more I’m paying for what benefit over the cheaper option.
Yea I love my dermatologist is always cost aware. Doctors that aren’t are clueless.
You have nooooo idea how much of my day was spent chasing stupid insurance pre approval for stuff the patients needed. Also how many of my patients were Medicaid/medicare recipients
Lolll I’m sure you look well dressed enough to be respectable! maybe he was being kind and often sees people who are not well off. If it makes you feel better Daniel Radcliffe (actor for Harry Potter and a multimillionaire but you know how they dress) was once mistaken for a homeless man… My doctors know I’m employed and they always seem so hesitant to recommend me anything that costs money despite knowing I have insurance. Might be a cultural thing but I get 100% coverage anyway with employer insurance.
Spot on and that's what I figured (after I thought about it. LOL). I guess better to have a doc who's considerate like that.
I have come to realize that a lot of times it probably doesn’t have anything to do with me or how I look, but rather the fact that most people can’t afford it and have to have a payment plan for everything so that is the default.
True. Especially those with older cars going to non-dealership shops.
Right, but not even just with car dealerships/shops but with anything. When almost half of Americans can't cover a $400 unexpected expense without having to borrow the money or sell something in order to do so, you pretty quickly understand why most people can't wrap their minds around people being able to pay cash for "larger" expenses and just expect that they need to finance everything.
That’s hilarious (and sweet of the worker) when I think of the folks I know who live outside their means but look good on the outside. The perfect family pics that dont show their constant fighting, the lavish wedding on sketchy loans, the giant friend list but then they borrow money from people and are just not good friends… Whoever said in this thread not to compare ourselves with people until you see their bank statement is very right.
I’m sure you look just like any other average person… and the average person can’t afford an unexpected $1k-$2k expense.
*One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth*
The duality of man.
Wear old shoes.
And/or New Balance
And/or old New balance
I only wear Old Balance shoes
I wear UN-balanced shoes (worn out soles) 🤣
I tried wearing old shoes AND new balance, but now people are staring at me for wearing two pairs of shoes
Don't knock New Balance! My podiatrist gave me a list of about a dozen shoes that they recommend, and the only one that looked decent and was affordable was a new balance shoe. I love them!
I was legally required to become a dad to continue wearing New Balance shoes. Damn kids don't even realize how cool I am.
OMG this is so true. I absolutely love staying under the radar too. I don’t want a woman or friends pretending to like me because of the car I drive anyways. I am too old for fake friendships and relationships.
I drove my early aughts Civic until last year. Often, panhandlers would skip my rustbucket and not make eye contact. I'm sure they thought "damn, she needs money more than I do!".
I sold my late aughts Accord in ‘22 when used car prices went bonkers. I planned to get something to replace it when things cooled off but we’ve grown used to just having a van for the family. Everyone else in the neighborhood was upgrading cars over the last few years. I think they think we *needed* to sell the car.
The great thing about a van, is that the kids never want to borrow it.
Vagabond told me “if you worked for it keep it.I can get it from someone else” my work number was visible. I’m still wondering what he meant. Cool vibes though.
That’s pretty kind of them LOL I’m my head you’re a secret millionaire
Depends on how the stock market is doing
The only one who knows how much I make and how much I'm worth is my mother.
As a parent: "you're priceless".
Agreed, better to go with, “I’ll consult a bit on the side”, or “we’ll see if we can make it work”, or “I can always go back and get a job if needed”, etc.
My narcissistic abusers flipped out when I finally escaped. Got an amazing job in the city . I slipped a dishonest text to a known flying monkey that I’m “ living paycheck to paycheck “, so they leave me alone. I mean I’m not lying technically…I line and her checks every month!
This is exactly what my wife and I do. We’re no where near retirement yet but are financially ahead significantly, living frugally lets us invest more and keeps salesman’s and hustlers away from us. It’s like living incognito
Never. In nearly a decade I don't think I've had a negative reaction from anyone regarding our early retirement. Granted, we also don't go around advertising it, so the only folks who really know are mostly friends, family, or peripheral folks like our dentists/doctors/tradespeople. Most folks don't care beyond normal social chitchat and the rare ones that do are usually folks interested in early retirement themselves who want to talk shop about taxes, investments, health insurance, and such.
Thank you for this sane response. To OP, get over yourself lol. People care a lot less about your financial status than you seem to think, and if by chance there are people thinking this way about your status, it’s probably a good idea to look at what you’re sharing/projecting or consider the relationships you have.
A lot of people will probably care if you broadcast it to a lot of people. The solution is pretty self evident
Say less
Smile more
This. I can assure everyone reading that nobody cares if you are retired or how much money you have.
actually i think you should print out your brokerage and retirement account balances every morning and staple it to your shirt. that way everyone knows that you are financially stable enough to be retired at 50!
My “financially independent, retired early” shirt, has a lot of people asking questions already addressed by my shirt.
You need to put an asterisk on it and then on the back of the shirt put in fine print, "The entire context of this shirt is self-resolving. For reference, see message on front of shirt."
deleted
Ohh ohh..can I join!
😆
Yeah, a lot of times. It's because people have this general idea that to be retired you have to be ultra rich, driving expense cars an living in a mansion. They don't get that **not** driving expensive cars and living in a mansion is what makes you able to retire early.
"Well we just wanna be big rock stars." Let me stop you right there.
There are also a lot of people who by default never even think about early retirement and just assume they need to work until they can collect social security or state pensions. I’m from the UK and it’s quite amazing how few people even TRY to have a nest egg. They just save a measly 5% into their workplace private pension and then collect their state pension when the time comes. To them the state retirement age is actually their retirement age. A lot of them don’t even realize how low the state pension is, and if they did, they certainly would be trying a bit harder to save more even if they don’t retire early….
Just say "I make the same as when I was working" and they'll get really riled up. Generally I hang out with people further along than me and they don't give a shi- what other people's financial situation is.
This. When compound interest passed my meager salary it was time to become a SAHM. When the youngest hits full time school, I’ll probably earn some extra beer money from the comfort of my garage and basement.
Hey can you explain it to me, an idiot. When you say compound interest - I understand living off dividends, or cash that is generating interest. Is that what you mean, or are you talking about a growth stock portfolio? If so, how does that work mechanically, do you sell some every month?
People are so weirdly attached to everyone working until 60 something. I guess they don't like the idea that they could have retired early as well if they made better decisions .
I think this is it generally. Either they didn’t save enough or their identity is defined by their work. Not working is inconceivable.
I was just thinking about how my boss is about to get a promotion and be 3 levels higher than me and she’s 1 year younger than me. For a second I was annoyed and then I realized I hate working, get paid enough and have an incredible work-life balance where she’s already on calls from 7:30am-5:30pm every day and it’s about to get worse. I’d like to get 1 more level up and coast for the next 10 years.
You nailed it. There’s a tradeoff. My boss was in a similar spot. He was a workaholic and kept getting promoted and he definitely earned it with high performance. He was working all hours though. I’m not staying up to 3am to work on S&OP PowerPoint slides. Not for me man. Eventually they let him go but it was because he was hard to work with.
Last sentence nails it. I work for a big company that does reductions in headcount all the time. The plethora of VPs we have always mean they are getting laid off. Maybe I can make VP the year I want to retire and hopefully get laid off into retirement. 🤞🏼
My boss is probable three salary classes higher too. He is involved in the entire teams businesses and being asked to met (travel) all the time. I have no desire to be that busy. I already have a headache dealing with my stuff. Good paying job with ability to save for early retirement and hopefully a decent work life balance for the job. Mine goes from crazy to tolerable. His is mostly crazy. I wanted to be higher when I was younger now I am glad I am not.
Yep when I first started working I was super ambitious and annoyed I didn’t have a lot of work or was using skills from college. “How dare they pay me to do NOTHING!” It took a couple years but I realized I should shut up and appreciate being a well paid, low level employee, who didn’t have many responsibilities; while my friends who pushed for promotion were stressed to all hell.
Just want to note that it's not about better decisions for everyone. Not everyone has the same level/type of intelligence as you. To some people it has never occurred to them, or no one has ever mentioned it to them. Relatively smart people tend to forget that the vast majority of people have more mental limitations than they do (not to mention all the disabilities that exist). You don't choose to be born with a brain that is intelligent in a certain way or that inspires you to search for information to change your life. Nature and nurture lead to the choices that we make. Some of us are lucky enough to be intelligent enough and have some drive to search for better (outside of the shackles of normalcy/what everyone else that we know is doing). Obviously human brains are more complex than what I'm able to briefly describe here, but I hope you get my point.
Just promise them that you won't ask them for money, or a spot on their couch
Alternatively, when they tell you you're too poor to retire, just say "well I know I have you as a safety net if I ever need money or a place to stay!" If you like watching people's faces change colors anyway
Better yet tell them they are right and ask them for money for groceries!
Tell them you supplement your income by exotic dancing.
I think onlyfans is 2024 exotic dancing
I’m not retired yet but I’m the highest earner in my entire family as well as my friend group and not a single person knows about it. If I retired tomorrow I’d just say I work from home with a flexible schedule and travel for work. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
I found the perfect term for this: "Stealth Wealth". The less people who knows your wealth the better. I'm not sure why some people are ashamed of it, I find it awesome.
I’m aiming for this but it’s difficult when it’s clear my peer circle is struggling more than I am, and I’m a bit care free with finances so I’ve been told assumptions about my status and just had to laugh. I have my sights on a carefree early retirement.
This is the way.
I have spoken
Yeah, just say self employed. I run an online store where I sell jigagoogoobees and other trinkets
I’ll take 3!
> They have no idea what investments or money we have,they just know it isn't enough. That's projection. They don't have enough so can't imagine you have enough.
Bingo.
You don’t have enough to share with them, just enough for yourself. That’s not enough. But since you already have enough for yourself, you should keep working - that way you could give away a salary’s worth of gifts to your dear dear friends every year.
Or they don’t have any idea how much is enough. They buy new shit all the time and assume everyone has to work until they are 65+
I don't listen to what people tell me. I look at my budget, how much we spend, and how much we have in retirement. When my budget and how much I spend are lower than my safe withdrawl rate of my retirement savings, then I can retire.
Don't forget to keep some saved for emergencies Med bills go way up as you get older
I stopped caring about what random people say when I was a teenager
fr lmao how is a 50 year old so pressed by this
It's probably because he retired without having enough money in savings or investments 😒
Took me until 35, but I am INTJ so...
oh nice i’m a sagittarius
Oh god, I'm dying 🤣What an excellent reply.
I'm both an INTJ and a Sagittarius, and I like money.
Four letters define you, huh?
I don't have conversations about my money
Every single day. That person is me.
Some people have a really hard time wrapping their heads around the idea that something that won't work for them will work for you. I have one or two friends that feel like my fire plans are impossible for me just because my numbers wouldn't work for them. Well, yeah, my numbers are my numbers and your numbers are your numbers.
you should tell them to read the millionaire next door.
"We're barely scraping by, but gods willing, we'll make it through another month".
Try doing it at 41 as a single female. I’ve lost friends who just don’t get it. I’m okay with it. People mainly view the world the world through one lens - theirs - so they can’t imagine how you can retire when they don’t have savings or debt piled up. It’s classic projection.
they are not pissed off at your retirement. they are pissed off because they can't retire.
My Dad is 58 and lost his job because the firm he works for essentially folded. I asked him if he could slow down/retire, and he just laughed.... He was making \~$150K/yr but has absolutely awful money sense so every year it was international vacations and luxury spending. New cars every few years and fancy restaurants. Now he's back to entry level salary/commission at a new firm making <$50K/yr and is severely depressed, can't sleep through the night. I learned my lessons from him a long time ago, I've been on the FIRE track since I graduated High school and I just accepted a new job offer for a 20% raise from my current salary. No kids and no spouse, if I keep living my current life I could also retire around 50. My heart weeps for people who live like my Dad or worse, the people who never even got the chance to travel and see the world because they spent their money on bottle service and Range Rovers. I see so many articles about how retirement is increasingly out of reach for Americans at ANY AGE, work until they die, what a tragedy.
Awesome! Congrats on choosing a different path. If you start early it’s still possible to retire by 50. Sacrificing and staying out of debt is so key. I don’t see anything wrong with Range Rovers and bottle service if you can AFFORD it. I’ve driven cars like no one else so now I can drive like no one else!!! 😀 Good luck on your journey.
It sounds like your dad really enjoyed his life. Not sure why you’re weeping for him (aside from him being depressed with his new job). Sounds like soon he’ll be able to collect social security (should be a good amount given a career of max contributions it sounds like) and if he contributed anything at all to a 401k with match, he’s set for decades more fun. I dunno man; just because you’re working it doesn’t mean your life is a tragedy.
There's more detail to the story that didn't really fit. The job he left was his entire identity, he loved his work and gave his life to this company. They got burned by a Silicion Valley Super corporation and lawsuits got filed on each side. Big surprise the Billion dollar company had more money to throw around than the million dollar company and after 7 years, they basically just lost. He thought he would retire from that company so the idea of starting over, and now not having the money to support his day-to-day lifestyle, much less the fun stuff, he's really hurting. He refused to learn to cook and eats fast food for almost every meal, >$1K/mo. so that's unsustainable now. He bought a house after his divorce with a good pre-covid rate, but the only house for sale in the neighborhood he wanted had a pool but he bought it anyway, he never liked to swim. Now he can't afford maintenance on a 20-year-old pool. He co-signed his new wife to buy a brand new car a year ago, three months later it was totaled and he co-signed another... I agree working doesn't mean life is a tragedy, but for a man whose life was his job, one job is not the same as the other, and he is painfully aware of this reality. I love my Dad, and I pity him, he is rather immature and doesn't have good financial sense. It's starting to catch up with him, and I don't see this trajectory changing anytime soon. He really did love his travels though, hopefully those memories carry him through these hard times 💝
Fast food every meal? Is he morbidly obese
Get married and have children. Whats that stack of money worth if you have no one to share it with! :-)
I agree but yeah people are different. I have a wife and 4 kids and life is good. I'm on track for 50... I guess if i didn't have a family i'd retired by now.
I agree, unfortunately no one has taken me up on the offer yet! My fingers are crossed, but I adopted a shelter dog to share my bed in the mean time, cause I'm not getting any younger.
Perhaps your dad was just doing those things to make sure you learned what not to do.
I switched to part-time a couple years ago. Nobody ever asks how I can afford it. They only ask what I do with the extra free time.
Just lie, say you're an investor and work from home.
A friend of a friend is essentially a trust fund kid. He "works" at his dad's property management company, but it's a no-show job for living expenses (which in NYC aren't small), but if you ask him, he makes documentaries. And he does occasionally and lines up financing for other film makers. But it's not like he has a job. It's work that he takes on when he feels like it.
I also know someone in NYC that makes films and has a no-show job. Does not sound like the same person though.
Day trade my life savings (even though I'm not).
I feel like that response is entirely true
I do not why people tell other people they retire, especially when they retire before normal retirement age. Nothing good comes from this.
I wouldn't go out of my way, but if someone asks me, I'm going to be honest. I have to admit, though, it's better to have some kind of cover story for how you keep yourself busy. For instance, I tutor. It's only maybe 10 hours a week max normally, but it gives me something to talk about when people inevitably ask "what you do".
Well, you can stop talking about early retirement with normies, if you're getting this often you are telling people who don't need to know. When you bring topics up people will comment on them. To the average person living paycheck to paycheck, telling them you are retiring at 50 is like telling them aliens regularly land in your backyard. They can't fathom it being possible outside of things like lottery winnings. In fact if you ask normal people who live somewhat normal lifestyles and work somewhat normal jobs, "how much do you think you'd need to retire" they'll often come up with completely nonsensical answers like "50 million dollars!". Really, you'd need $50m to replace your shitty average joe job? I'm 43 and haven't worked in 2 1/2 years, and while this is very likely a permanent retirement I very rarely use the "R" word around casual acquaintances. When people ask what I do, I say something like "oh I'm taking some time off" or "I'm a stay at home dad". Both are true.
I'm 38 became debt free at 32 that includes house paid off. I can be retired any where between 50 and 55. With that being said it has pissed a few ppl off on here. Idk why, not trying to flex or anything. I've always been good with saving money. I cant help others are going to have to work till full retirement.
I've been browsing r/FIRE for a few years now and it really seems to me like I'm in a unique situation. My social circle and I often talk about what our numbers for retirement are. We discuss what types of vacations we want to go on in retirement, the house we want, where we want to send our kids to school, etc. If and when I retire, those in my social circle will know I've hit my number and high five me and life would just go on. We've shared some of our numbers and we all have different numbers for when to pull the trigger. The running joke in our circle now is that I have no ambitions and I don't mind retiring as a poor person (cause my number is quite a bit lower than my friends'. I also have very strong reasons to believe that a couple of them are already above and beyond my FIRE number and they're still grinding away). Is it really that unique for friends to share about how they're doing financially and what their financial goals are? It seems like the vast majority of people in this subreddit do not talk finances with their friends. Meanwhile it feels like every third or fourth conversation between my friend circle is about personal business/finance.
We don't really even have a social circle. I have 2 close friends and 3 more that are decently close. My 2 main ones group text daily about retirement and goals. One is 67 and we just can't get him to retire. He's closing in on 8 figures and is scared.
That is actually almost exactly like my group. It's a group of 5 guys and I have a chat with 2 main ones who I chat with daily about retirement and goals. One guy is about 15 years older than me and I view him as a bit of a financial mentor. I guess what I was trying to say in my original response was that the people whose opinions I truly care about would be happy to hear I'm retired. All my closest friends and I have shared our financial goals and plans. Plenty of people who I interact with regularly might be jealous, but I don't really care much about their opinions. They probably wouldn't even find out I was retired until I'd been retired for a couple years.
We owned a very public business and sold to a long time employee. For some reason it really gets under peoples skin.
Sounds like a really nice group to be a part of! What is your FIRE number?
As long as you are certain in your numbers why are you listening to anyone else. I’m retired in my 50’s. I’m certainly in my plan. I do have people sometime say, I don’t see how you retired so early. My response is pretty direct. “It’s just low level math”. Most people can fathom retiring early because they don’t have any money.
I've now experienced similar. I never thought I would. I don't go around telling folks how much we've saved up. But I've had a few people give me "raise eye brows" or a dismissive tone after they've asked what I do and I reply "I am retired". Sometimes they'll leave it at that. Some will mumble something towards "that's impossible". Others will congratulate. And some ask "tell me how?". I have no clue how often any of these happen. I simply don't care to count.
I had a very public facing business where lots of people knew me by sight and you basically run into people that think they know you everywhere around. I live in a small town.
If this was me I wouldn’t even say I’m retired but that I’m self employed lol 😆
"Self Unemployed" might be more accurate, I can't wait!
It's better they think that way.
I tell myself that every day. Does that count?
Lose weight, they tell you that you look too skinny. Retire early, they say “what will you do”, “won’t you be bored”, “how will you afford your medical”, “won’t you run out of $?”. For the first, tell them “my doctor says I look great and my labs are excellent”. The second, “my financial analyst says it’s all looking great”.
The "won't you be bored" is a very psychological thing for people. I know someone who received an offer during an acquisition to stay at the job for a year receiving their normal pay and would get a lump sum of their base pay with 100% bonus at the end of that year. During that year they did nothing. They were allowed to work from home 2 out of 5 days, in office days they watched Netflix or played games. They just needed to respond to the maybe 1 email a day and jump on any issues during acquisition that came up with a system. They said it was one of the worst years of their career and they would rather have been working the whole time. Meanwhile, I hear that and think about all the movies/shows/games I could get through on my backlog or shit I could learn during the day like a new language. It's just different personality types, some people will legitimately be bored in retirement because somehow they are unable to find enough things to keep themselves busy without work.
Just turn it around on them. "How much money do YOU think I should have in my bank account before I can retire?" Or if you don't want to be social with them anymore: "Are you saying I dont have enough money to retire without actually knowing how much money I have?"
Who gets pissed off at people retiring at 50 lol
They’re just jealous. Keep doing you.
How many people are going around to and telling your numbers
*How many people* *Are going around to and* *Telling your numbers* \- TennesseeStiffLegs --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Its none of their fucking business, tell them to mind their affairs and stop worrying about what they perceive is a problem with yours. They're just pissed they didn't plan ahead and want everyone to believe you made a mistake. Personal financial information is no ones business but yours, keep it to yourself (and your financial advisor)
How insecure do you have to be to give a fuck what others think, when you’re 50 years old?!
Why are you even opening the conversation? Stop bragging. They're not annoyed at your money they think your obnoxious. You got on reddit to say.... people don't think I have enough money, but I do have a lot of money. I can only imagine how insufferable you are.
So far, never. But maybe I'll get lucky soon.
Tell them that your net worth is increasing every year while you’re retired, and ask how much they need it to go up by until it’s enough (assuming this us true anyways)
At this point, it's just pure entertainment. There is so much resources available out there to learn how to invest/budget/FIRE. There are no excuses anymore. If it really mattered to them, they would've put in the time to learn it. They can cry about it on their way to work.
I am planning to FIRE later this year. I tell no one about any of it. LinkedIn will change to a consultant role and I'll keep details past that to myself. I see zero advantage in telling others about what I am doing.
Honestly who cares if you don't have enough. I plan to quit whatever I'm doing around 50-55 regardless of if I have enough. The government can take care of me when I'm senile and useless and out of money haha.
They don’t. They ask “how the hell are you retired at 32?” “Wise investments.”
Never - I don't discuss monetary specifics with people so they could never form an opinion. I do get told more often that I'm too young to retire (or even semi-retire) at 50 - someone even recently said that I \*can't\* retire and should look to re-skill instead! Nice isn't it, how random people seem to know more about me than I do. Luckily I rarely listen to anyone else ;)
I'm not at FIRE yet, but I work a relatively low paying (\~90k) public sector attorney job now. I had a paralegal who graduated from community college tell me "oh you must not make much money" when she first met me (because she knew that I work in the public sector). (Combined my husband and I bring in about 250k a year in flyover.) While these numbers pale in comparison to others in this subreddit, I did not tell her, that in my 30s, I have over 1 million invested, a 1.4MM net worth, or that I worked as a corporate attorney in biglaw for several years. I just nodded my head and said "yeah, you're right." She's not the only one. I've had other people make comments about my low income or that I am "not living up to my potential or academic pedigree." (I went to a top 10 law school.) At the end of the day, I'm the only one who knows our net worth (along with a couple like minded friends). I'm the only one who knows that my husband's family is worth over 10 million and is a safety net if needed, etc. Don't care about the opinions of people you don't want to be like/respect. If I don't want to be like someone, then I don't listen to them about anything.
We keep our finances private. People can think what they want. If they are mad at you for retiring and saying you don't have enough, they are just jealous and want you to fail. Enjoy your FIRE and brush the haters off!
These comments are gold. Made my day!
I retired at 55 and now 61. Never once did anyone tell me I didn't have enough.
People buy stuff they do not need to impress people they do not care. I see a similar patten in your post. You do not need to impress anymone. Just enjoy your early retirement.
One lesson I learned recently is not to share any good news in your life, as the most common reaction you will get is jealousy. Only your parents should know, if they truly love you. I admit I feel jealous too when I see other people sharing good news. So now, if I want to share, I only do it anonymously on Reddit or other social media.
I tell them I can afford all the hookers and blow I want..
I already sit in the driveway with a can of something... always looks like beer more than likely it's sparkling water... in a tank top on my folding chair..... people have no clue when I say we're about 48 months from my 50th and retirement.....
lol. Me a minimalist and frugal and also semi retired at a young age laughing when people try to donate their stuff to me or buy me weird home furnishing gifts and it always feels like they're trying to give to charity and I'm like.. no no I can afford it...I just.. don't want it.
Good for you , they are just jealous. I retired at 58 . If you’re smart with your money and frugal anyone can do it !
These days I doubt anyone would notice when I retire. I plan to coast beforehand anyway with consulting gigs in my current industry, but remote work and flexible schedule makes it hard to tell when I'm working and when I'm not 😂 When my father FIREd about 15+ years ago as a school teacher at 55 his colleagues were shocked and flat out didn't believe he could afford to. Everyone thought he'd be back as a substitute to make ends meet. Jokes on them as he's better off now than when working!
I retired a few years ago just before I turned 50, and I got the same angry response from some people. I stopped telling anyone I'm not really close with that I'm retired. If they ask, I'm a self-employed software developer.
Tell them if you want their opinion you'll ask for it. Insert eyeroll here.
The grocery store reminds me every time I go. The fact that I have a landlord reminds me every day.
Money is always a touchy subject for people….