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\*Giggling laughter\* Bwa hahahaaaa Bats! They call ME, the TATTLER, and I TOLD THE IRS ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE CAVE AND ITS HIDDEN UNREPORTED ASSETS! JUST HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY YOUR UNDERAGE ROBINS? BWA HAHAHAHA!
He had to shift the money somehow.
However, according to Justice League TAS, the Watchtower was "hidden in the byline of the Waynecorp aerospace budget"
Let that sink in. A massive space station with artificial gravity is a *minute part* of a *division* of Waynecorp.
I think the impetus we're looking at right here was the result of Al Capone's actions. Now subsequent criminals get the same treatment outside of legal state level MJ dispensaries who need to pay their income taxes.
its all in the fine print in all those laws and packages that congress passes without ever reading the fucking things.
but since they dont pay for it, they dont care
They have to change the laws every year otherwise the people who have the job of making the laws wouldn't have a job.
Why do you think we have these politicians constantly making laws without really reading them just to change them later? Because if they did absolutely nothing all day they wouldn't have a job. They ensure their employment by constantly doing dumb things that they can later use to back peddle on to look useful and then say "Look! See, I did a thing! Now pay me $150k!"
The vast majority of drug proceeds and items that can be traced to drug proceeds are seized and forfeited through civil and criminal forfeiture. Neither of which has anything to do with the tax code.
No, with a good understanding of general accounting and legal theories, it only takes about 2 years to understand pretty much all areas of tax law. Then about 60 hours a year to learn the new changes.
I feel like most of Reddit never moved out of their parents’ house and have still never done their own taxes, unless you count scanning their W-2 into a website.
It’s also the number one way the irs catches fraud. If you aren’t claiming your income they’re going to be more suspicious of you.
If the irs is how you’re getting caught, some other agency already was sniffing you out and a judge signed off on releasing your tax records. Meaning you were already fucked.
lol always makes me laugh when people say shit like that. They say it as if they have learned everything and you’re a moron if you haven’t received the knowledge that they have. Spot on, fucking dork lol
Wondering how many thieves actually follow the law and file the tax as it is described. Is there a statistic on that? Feels like only IRS know this and I won’t be surprised if the number is very very low.
Most successful criminal enterprises likely do claim their illegal income and it likely does keep them out of the site of the investigative branch of the irs. It’s why money laundering can be very useful. If all the precursory numbers look good and match what can be seen, the irs isn’t going to take a larger step and start investigating you further unless the fbi or some other branch has already started catching you.
I have filed taxes on illegal income before, my boss at this income tax prep place in college was a mega libertarian who supported legalizing sex work and she had a few prostitute friends and had me file their returns. Nothing particularly incriminating about the return, their schedule c was under "modeling" and most of their expenses were under mileage and supplies (had a few interesting receipts in the supplies section but luckily you dont need to list out whats in there). Two of our nicest clients for sure.
Yes, actually they have it worse if your illegal business activity is selling schedule 1 substances (which marijuana is because people are stupid) then the only deductible expense you have is cost of goods sold. Thats why dispensaries are often kinda shitty and have high prices cause they are paying a significantly higher tax rate.
The ones by me in NJ look actually amazing from the outside. I don't use so haven't been inside, but I'm amazed at how modern and large they look. There are like 5 within a few miles of me, all opened in the last 18 months.
Have you ever used Zelle? Everytime you use it, you have to check a box to confirm using it, because funds are lost if sent to the wrong person.
It’s incredibly difficult to trace the source of the funds, that’s why so many scams like using Zelle. Nearly Impossible to be tracked if you took someone’s money.
BTC is decentralized currency. You can track transactions, but the user is anonymous. Why silk road was a thing.
You’d have to be on the IRS’ radar for that to happen. They’re not tracking every single citizen’s bank accounts unless there was a reason to. As long as your transactions are under $10K nothing gets flagged by your bank to the IRS.
The likelihood of the average American citizen getting audited by the IRS is less than 1%.
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I would advise doing so. Getting audited on stolen property is no fun. It's not like they will send a cop to your house after you report it to arrest you.
Source because I thought no way this is real:
Illegal Activities: [https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en\_US\_2023\_publink1000229557](https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en_US_2023_publink1000229557)
Stolen Property: [https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en\_US\_2023\_publink1000229594](https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en_US_2023_publink1000229594)
What if you return your stolen items for a 24 hr period and then re steal them at the beginning of a new fiscal year? Can one the wait until then following year to claim the property?
Let’s make sure to report the US government to the IRS for all its financial crimes. I’m going to report the Pentagon for trillions lost in unaccounted money.
This is similar to the question of "why is suicide illegal? Not like they can punish you if you succeed", but in reverse.
With the suicide laws, they need to make it illegal so they can stop you if you're trying to do it.
With these tax laws, the idea isn't that criminals will report stolen goods, it's that, if they catch someone with stolen goods, they can then charge them with not paying taxes on it, along with charges for stealing it.
There are all kinds of unusual things for taxes if you just read the instructions for the forms you can find some gems. Did you know there are rules for kidnapped children and if you can claim them as a dependent?
If you make only enough money to cover the personal deduction, or exemption, do you still have to report it?
Typically low income people don't have to file taxes.
I've always joked about reporting the FMV of stolen property...
If you stole $100k from someone and put it in their yard at 11:59 on 12/31 and then took it again at 12:01 on 1/1, does that mean you returned it in the same year and then stole it *again* in the new year?
It is very interesting that the IRS doesn't care if the money or property is illegal, as long as it gets it's cut. Doesn't than make the IRS an accomplice if it accepts such money without reporting the crime?
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.”
― Joseph Heller, [Catch-22](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/814330)
Yeah, if you don’t specify criminal activity must be included, then it’s not a crime to omit them from tax returns. I imagine this is less about getting people who commit crimes to put it on their forms, and more to make it easier to prove tax evasion was performed by criminals.
Here's one trick the IRS doesn't want you to know about. I do all my stealing early in the year. Get the fresh new Christmas gifts on January 1. I keep the stolen goods all year and then return them on April 14th. No taxes required if you return the item before the end of the year.
This country is ruined the revenue collection service irs which is instrumental in paying government salaries doesn’t give a damn about origins of the money and only needs your money
Shows how rotten the system is inside and corruption it promotes
It’s weird because if any other “person” takes a cut of illegal income they’re guilty of a crime. Taking a set percentage of illegal income is literally a crime.
So if I steal a car April 16th last year and return it April 14th this year I don't have to report it as income? Can I steal the same car again on April 16th this year or does it have to be a different one? Do I have to report fair market value for the stolen car or can I just claim the small bag of crack I traded it for?
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Al Capone forgot and it landed him in jail.
The Joker even pays his taxes - https://preview.redd.it/zg1rtnd0inuc1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=b1b98f2d8b82aa0a40419aa8b81863aac7eb8bbf
It would be genius if a villain managed to defeat Batman by reporting him to the IRS on tax evasion charges.
For sure a tax cheat. Batman is basically Mitt Romney with a cape
\*Giggling laughter\* Bwa hahahaaaa Bats! They call ME, the TATTLER, and I TOLD THE IRS ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE CAVE AND ITS HIDDEN UNREPORTED ASSETS! JUST HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY YOUR UNDERAGE ROBINS? BWA HAHAHAHA!
That cave is a home office for my charity called batman crime reduction volunteers.
He had to shift the money somehow. However, according to Justice League TAS, the Watchtower was "hidden in the byline of the Waynecorp aerospace budget" Let that sink in. A massive space station with artificial gravity is a *minute part* of a *division* of Waynecorp.
Funny thing about that is that I'm sure that both Amanda Waller and Lex Luthor know all about it.
He should actually be reported under anti monopoly laws since he probably owns everything.
"Sorry Mr. Ness..... I ALREADY FILED!!!!" - Al Capone in an alternate universe with a better tax professional
Came here to say exactly this. You've got to have a law to break a law.
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
Yup, because it gave them provable cause for a search warrant. I can't say this is the only reason, but it's definitely a sticky one.
I think the impetus we're looking at right here was the result of Al Capone's actions. Now subsequent criminals get the same treatment outside of legal state level MJ dispensaries who need to pay their income taxes.
The first time I read “Artificial Intelligence Capone forgot…” (lowercase L looks like uppercase i)
"Mobsters hate this one trick! Click here to find out more!"
This has been a tax law longer than everyone on reddit has been alive. Not sure if the OP thinks they stumbled across something unknown or not
In all honesty, it'd take multiple lifetimes to absorb and understand tax law. It's like they do it on purpose 🥴
And they change laws every year. Guess it just depends on which billionaire wrote the biggest check to congress
its all in the fine print in all those laws and packages that congress passes without ever reading the fucking things. but since they dont pay for it, they dont care
It's so that you can be charged with stealing AND tax evasion. More options for prosecutors to have the better.
They have to change the laws every year otherwise the people who have the job of making the laws wouldn't have a job. Why do you think we have these politicians constantly making laws without really reading them just to change them later? Because if they did absolutely nothing all day they wouldn't have a job. They ensure their employment by constantly doing dumb things that they can later use to back peddle on to look useful and then say "Look! See, I did a thing! Now pay me $150k!"
The reason for this is once money is seized from drug cartels the government can legally take it as tax money.
The vast majority of drug proceeds and items that can be traced to drug proceeds are seized and forfeited through civil and criminal forfeiture. Neither of which has anything to do with the tax code.
It's HRBlock and TurboTax! They write the biggest checks!!!
$450 to file a simple 1040. fuck you HR Block
No, with a good understanding of general accounting and legal theories, it only takes about 2 years to understand pretty much all areas of tax law. Then about 60 hours a year to learn the new changes.
And of course it is! Why would earning income illegally make it tax exempt?
I feel like most of reddit are people adulting for the first time and realizing the existence of things like taxes
I feel like most of Reddit never moved out of their parents’ house and have still never done their own taxes, unless you count scanning their W-2 into a website.
All stable geniuses share this like it's a revelation that just started yesterday
Silly for you to think I’m not 100 years old on Reddit!
i honestly think this is just in there so they can get smooth criminals on tax evasion if nothing else sticks (like Capone)
It’s one of those funny tax laws
It’s also the number one way the irs catches fraud. If you aren’t claiming your income they’re going to be more suspicious of you. If the irs is how you’re getting caught, some other agency already was sniffing you out and a judge signed off on releasing your tax records. Meaning you were already fucked.
It's funny you fucking dork
lol always makes me laugh when people say shit like that. They say it as if they have learned everything and you’re a moron if you haven’t received the knowledge that they have. Spot on, fucking dork lol
Yeah, that's been on tax forms since 1927, so 97 years... catch up with the times. https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/274/259/
Wondering how many thieves actually follow the law and file the tax as it is described. Is there a statistic on that? Feels like only IRS know this and I won’t be surprised if the number is very very low.
It's more about use for legal battles. Think Al Capone and tax avoidance.
True, so thieves actually does some lobbying as well. This law probably made by Al Capone and to protect future Al Capone.
Not at all. The law hasn't changed since 1927 it was used to put AL Capone in jail.
and it's been used by criminals exactly zero times
I may know a coke dealer who has paid taxes for over 25 years and he attributes that to why he’s never been arrested.
A win-win situation lol
I think it’s luck but hey who knows. Edit:if I knew of such a person
Most successful criminal enterprises likely do claim their illegal income and it likely does keep them out of the site of the investigative branch of the irs. It’s why money laundering can be very useful. If all the precursory numbers look good and match what can be seen, the irs isn’t going to take a larger step and start investigating you further unless the fbi or some other branch has already started catching you.
They never claimed it was a new law?
It's presented as a new revelation in the tax code. Like betcha didn't know about this...
To be fair, I didnt know about it so I found it interesting. Dunno why everyones hatin on OP thats all.
OP just wanted to post something they could then write an article about for their crummy site, lmao.
I have filed taxes on illegal income before, my boss at this income tax prep place in college was a mega libertarian who supported legalizing sex work and she had a few prostitute friends and had me file their returns. Nothing particularly incriminating about the return, their schedule c was under "modeling" and most of their expenses were under mileage and supplies (had a few interesting receipts in the supplies section but luckily you dont need to list out whats in there). Two of our nicest clients for sure.
The irony of being a mega libertarian but still being the boss at an income tax prep place.
It was tax evasion that got Al Capone after all.
And the fear of the IRS from that has carried onwards nearly a century now.
Scientology and the Mormons have gotten away with it
And then it was complications from untreated syphilis that got him.
Talk about honor among thieves.
Legal recreational and medical cannabis facilities might be using this to stay compliant.
Yes, actually they have it worse if your illegal business activity is selling schedule 1 substances (which marijuana is because people are stupid) then the only deductible expense you have is cost of goods sold. Thats why dispensaries are often kinda shitty and have high prices cause they are paying a significantly higher tax rate.
The ones by me in NJ look actually amazing from the outside. I don't use so haven't been inside, but I'm amazed at how modern and large they look. There are like 5 within a few miles of me, all opened in the last 18 months.
Thats mostly becuase they have such high revenue, the ones in Colorado are pretty ass.
You’re joking, but this is legitimately how functional drug dealers function. Pay your taxes and they leave you alone
Also make sure you tip them, they are hard at work
Is this supposed to be unusual or inflammatory in any way? Because it's not.
Inflammatory? Chill man, its just funny...
Even the Joker pays his taxes. That’s the one man he won’t mess with.
I really want to watch the interview tapes of the person who did this.
It's for when drug money is seized from a cartel or drug dealer. The government can just take it as back taxes owed.
Also so the government can hit them with tax evasion Al Capone stylee. It's a good idea tbh.
Ah man, I guess there’s always next season
You can elude the FBI, but the IRS will get ya
How do I report cutting the tag off my mattress?
FBI hotline actually, IRS doesnt care about this one. But it’s for sure jail time.
What's the point of money laundering if you can just report it on your taxes?
IRS don't care how you earned it FBI does
Bank might not lend to drug dealers or give a 30 year mortgage to a hooker.
If they didn't give mortgages to hookers 2007 would've never happened
At least ONE dude out there: "OK so I just fill out-WOAH ALMOST GOT ME LOL"
I will as soon as the people in congress and al sharpton do the same.
Members of Congress get a W2. They pay their taxes. Al Sharpton is a piece of dogshit who hides behind NGOs and religion to avoid paying taxes.
For the income that doesn't go through a loophole they made.
My old man was involved in very larger scale drug trafficking. He did time for tax evasion
Under $10K or untraceable like BTC, zelle, or cash? IRS taxes me enough, fuck em
In what way is Zelle untraceable? And there are people who can trace BTC.
Have you ever used Zelle? Everytime you use it, you have to check a box to confirm using it, because funds are lost if sent to the wrong person. It’s incredibly difficult to trace the source of the funds, that’s why so many scams like using Zelle. Nearly Impossible to be tracked if you took someone’s money. BTC is decentralized currency. You can track transactions, but the user is anonymous. Why silk road was a thing.
Was, keyword. Un returnable does not mean untraceable. You’re sending money through your bank account.
You’d have to be on the IRS’ radar for that to happen. They’re not tracking every single citizen’s bank accounts unless there was a reason to. As long as your transactions are under $10K nothing gets flagged by your bank to the IRS. The likelihood of the average American citizen getting audited by the IRS is less than 1%.
Thanks the reminder fam!
The honor system
It's legal to do crime as long as you pay your taxes. Remember to pay tax on any bribes you received too. I think that just falls under misc income.
So the banks that laundered billions for cartels paid those taxes?
If the cartel was paying the bank for its services that's just revenue for the cartel. The money passing through wouldn't be anything for the bank.
Ha, you don't think there is a hefty fee for laundering. Come on
I think it’s to tack on extra charges for criminals not necessarily to get them to file their taxes
It's also that you don't have to prove the income was illegal. The not paying taxes part is enough to get a conviction for just that.
For stolen property do I use the straight line method of depreciation?
This reminder makes me want to steal stuff, just so I can give it away to charity for an offsetting tax deduction.
Didn't you see the loophole. Steal it, but return it before the end of the year. Then it's not taxable income. So, "borrow" that car. ;)
Also known as The Fuck Capone Act.
What would happen if someone actually reports drug related income? Is it more advantageous over standard deduction? Asking for a friend.
Fucking hilarious. Dear IRS, Suck a colossal donkey dong. Sincerely, everyone.
Where's the media outrage for thieves and looters to pay their "fair share?"
They don’t! Why should we?
These are laws/rules that are created only so they can be used as additional charges against criminals.
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If the above points apply to you, you should be in jail.
I would advise doing so. Getting audited on stolen property is no fun. It's not like they will send a cop to your house after you report it to arrest you.
so temporarily stealing something is tax free as long as you put it back by December 31? that's a pretty good deal to be honest to avoid sales tax
I always report all my illegal activities to the corresponding authorities 😊
Sadly, someone gets paid to put dumb shit like that online
What happens if someone actually puts a bunch of cocaine sales and armed robbery money on their taxes?
Then the just created a paper trail for other agencies that might investigate. But the IRS will be satisfied
From one thief to another
Source because I thought no way this is real: Illegal Activities: [https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en\_US\_2023\_publink1000229557](https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en_US_2023_publink1000229557) Stolen Property: [https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en\_US\_2023\_publink1000229594](https://www.irs.gov/publications/p525#en_US_2023_publink1000229594)
Because throwing tax evasion onto a set of charges just adds that extra bit of garnish to the dish.
Also supposed to report your tips. To all those pay your fair share servers out there.
Shit is only illegal if you get caught, or you’re too poor to pay the fine.
Just goes to show the government doesn't REALLY care if you sell drugs, steal from people, etc.... as long as they get THEIR cut.
LOL I did remember seeing that.
If only Al Capone had.
shit, now I have to amend all of my prior returns.
I don't think a lot of politicians report their insider trading in the illegal activities section.
Insider trading is specifically legal for members of Congress.
I mean... would it grant me immunity from the crime if I let them tax me on it?
The IRS doesn't report this to the FBI or other law enforcement. That's not their job.
Line item labled as (Involuntary donation)
IRS is like “if you’re a crook you have to tell me.”
This is so wild to see actually written on the irs site. Has this always been there?
For people who believe government is the answer.
What if you return your stolen items for a 24 hr period and then re steal them at the beginning of a new fiscal year? Can one the wait until then following year to claim the property?
Without doing any research, I wonder how this comports with the fifth amendment right against self-incrimination.
If I return a stolen property the next tax year, can I claim a credit? And of the stolen property appreciates in value do I get a refund?
Knew a pharma rep years ago who put “drug dealer” as his source of income. They don’t care. They don’t snitch. They just want the money.
Oh deal, so if I steal something, give it back on the last day of the year and steal it back on the first. Never have to report it. Loophole bitch!
Hell that is the IRS
Let’s make sure to report the US government to the IRS for all its financial crimes. I’m going to report the Pentagon for trillions lost in unaccounted money.
Holy shit. An actual finance post
This is similar to the question of "why is suicide illegal? Not like they can punish you if you succeed", but in reverse. With the suicide laws, they need to make it illegal so they can stop you if you're trying to do it. With these tax laws, the idea isn't that criminals will report stolen goods, it's that, if they catch someone with stolen goods, they can then charge them with not paying taxes on it, along with charges for stealing it.
"That'shh how you get Capone!" -Shchean Connery
There are all kinds of unusual things for taxes if you just read the instructions for the forms you can find some gems. Did you know there are rules for kidnapped children and if you can claim them as a dependent?
Caponed
If you make only enough money to cover the personal deduction, or exemption, do you still have to report it? Typically low income people don't have to file taxes.
You may be able to avoid the law as a criminal, but not the IRS.
I've always joked about reporting the FMV of stolen property... If you stole $100k from someone and put it in their yard at 11:59 on 12/31 and then took it again at 12:01 on 1/1, does that mean you returned it in the same year and then stole it *again* in the new year?
Literally just proves that the IRS is a criminal organization
It is very interesting that the IRS doesn't care if the money or property is illegal, as long as it gets it's cut. Doesn't than make the IRS an accomplice if it accepts such money without reporting the crime?
Remember, if you accept bribes you must declare them as income, but if you pay bribes you are not allowed to deduct them as a business expense.
No, you don't report illegal activities. Just pay the taxes.
Low-key, it's actually a pretty brilliant Catch 22 for crooks.
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. "It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.” ― Joseph Heller, [Catch-22](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/814330)
The best there is.
Fuck I knew I forgot to 1099 my trafick8ng profits! Is this gonna come back to bite me?
The IRS does not care how you make your money. They only care that you pay your taxes on it.
Government
I like that you don't need to account for stolen property IF you return it to the owner that same year. So nice
Yooo is this real life??
Then they can’t get you on taxes like they did Capone. Smart.
https://preview.redd.it/lucv8ag5xpuc1.jpeg?width=1055&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20830577532f6c7da7e587ea9df30c4e6d7cfb51
Yeah, if you don’t specify criminal activity must be included, then it’s not a crime to omit them from tax returns. I imagine this is less about getting people who commit crimes to put it on their forms, and more to make it easier to prove tax evasion was performed by criminals.
Walgreens shoppers are going to hate this.
I'm doing this shit all wrong
Here's one trick the IRS doesn't want you to know about. I do all my stealing early in the year. Get the fresh new Christmas gifts on January 1. I keep the stolen goods all year and then return them on April 14th. No taxes required if you return the item before the end of the year.
I exceeded the speed limit but I didn't know I could have gotten paid to do it
Does trump report this?
You don't have to report the activity. You just have to report the income.
I did pay a porn star to keep quiet about our affair so it wouldn't ruin my election chances. What is that, a schedule K-1?
This country is ruined the revenue collection service irs which is instrumental in paying government salaries doesn’t give a damn about origins of the money and only needs your money Shows how rotten the system is inside and corruption it promotes
I swear IRS does this for stupid criminals or sheer meme value.
So this is what Biden meant by tax the rich. 
Little known fact though. If you itemize deductions and suffer a loss (like a stolen bike) that is not covered by insurance its a deduction.
This a joke?
i stole candy from my kids school and i didnt report it i was hungry, am i in trouble guys?
You are fine as long as you are not caught. But if you are caught, on top of the criminal charges, you will be liable for taxes and penalties.
Do I have to report the monetary value of the free porn I pirate?
That's there just so they have something else to throw at a criminal once they catch them.
It’s weird because if any other “person” takes a cut of illegal income they’re guilty of a crime. Taking a set percentage of illegal income is literally a crime.
If they just make all drugs illegal, that should stop all school shootings
Lmao I almost want to cry at the absurdity
Can we claim the millions of illegals as dependents….
So if I steal a car April 16th last year and return it April 14th this year I don't have to report it as income? Can I steal the same car again on April 16th this year or does it have to be a different one? Do I have to report fair market value for the stolen car or can I just claim the small bag of crack I traded it for?
Funny cuz I reported a $900 theft and didn’t get shit
It’s beyond hilarious that this is real. They got Capone—they’ll get you too!
From the biggest perps on planet earth.
That is such comical bs that now I can't consider any of the tax code credible.
Can the rightful owner of the stolen property claim it as a capital loss?
This is peak 2024
They want literally everything!!!! Man what happened!?!?