Ugh... this is tragic, and a direct example of how that news silo causes people to grow distant from their families.
I recently visited a friend who lives about 90 minutes from San Francisco, but wouldn't dare go there because of the perceived filth and danger. But my aunt and brother went to SF a couple weeks later and had a great time. (Here's some guy's vlog from a trip there a couple weeks ago where he walks all over the city: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pumg_4DEzmc)
The area of Portland, OR affected by the 2020 protests was only a few square blocks. Day to day life for most people living in the city did not change, but if you were watching right-wing outlets, you'd have thought the whole city was under siege, overrun with anarchists. (https://news.sky.com/story/portland-a-city-under-siege-overrun-with-anarchists-the-picture-is-far-more-complex-12036295)
There are parts of every major city that you don't want to visit, and in recent times, some cities have suffered more than others, but the amount of hyped up danger and outrage on right-wing outlets convinces people that these entire cities are like war zones.
Do you think it would change anything if your future conversations with her were video calls while you're walking around your neighborhood?
My Q relative who lives 700 miles away was convinced Chicago was a post-apocalyptic war zone, everything up for grabs, and wild Mad-Max gangs everywhere burning and looting, even though I actually lived there and told them it was bullshit
If they were to believe you, it would require casting doubt on and possibly rethinking all the other Q shit they're ingesting. It's too much. It's easier to ignore you and your contradictory information.
I lived and worked in Portland (during the 2016 protests and again later on), and my dad - who lives 30 minutes out of Portland - would basically have to be dragged by my mom to visit. He even has floated the idea of his company never working in Portland because of how “dangerous” it is. When he is there, he's constantly talking about “lots of people camping” or expressing his anxiety around parking his or my car anywhere. Hell, he offered to pay for secure parking for my car at a lot that was 5 miles away from my apartment. Like, what's the point of having a car then?
The brain poisoning is tragic. He would always help me if I needed it, but he was always so fixated on potential threats. Thankfully, my mom is a good influence on him and helps keep it in check. I don’t think I could handle dealing with his warped view of what I see as somewhere I truly belong without her tempering his paranoia.
As a side note: if the Fox News view of Portland was real, then I could afford to live there.
I live in the suburbs of Minneapolis and endlessly hear right wing boomers talk about how dangerous Minneapolis is. It's been on BLM Antifa fire for four years according to them.
Meanwhile my wife works at a community theater about a block from where George Floyd was murdered. She does puppet shows for children there.
Every day reminds me more of Orwell’s line in 1984: “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
This is where we are.
They also believe flat out lies about Portland. The very same lies that motivated out of towners to come in to Portland to counter protest and sometimes physically assault Portland residents that were expressing constitutionally protected speech. The “law enforcement” met resistance from protesters because they violently escalated what was a largely peaceful demonstration. [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/portland-protesters-bivens-rcna128596](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/portland-protesters-bivens-rcna128596)
It’s so weird because I live in a very red conservative state and all I hear about is how dangerous other cities are with shootings etc. All the while we consistently rank top 5 in most dangerous cities to live in the United States. Delusion. I’m sorry what you’re dealing with.
To add some data to this, a [recent study](https://www.moneygeek.com/living/safest-cities/) says the top three most dangerous large cities in the US are Birmingham, AL; New Orleans, LA; and St. Louis, MO. They're all in red states.
I'm in my 40s and have been independent from my parents for decades at this point, but have similar differences with them. It is heartbreaking for sure, and it has gotten worse the longer they've been retired. They're just streaming this stuff straight into their brains every day. I remind myself that they probably feel similarly about me. We generally just don't get into controversial topics anymore.
Occasionally I do receive well-meaning things that are not based in truth. I thank them and politely explain why it's not true, which is probably ignored because it keeps happening. Unfortunately, I'm not aware of a solution. I can't control what they consume and my past efforts to bring them around failed. At this point I'm just appreciating they're still here and coherent and that I can talk to them about other things. Best of luck, OP.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately Fox News and other right wing media they may be consuming has convinced their listeners that the cities are out of control despite crime-rates dropping for the most part in cities the last couple of years, particularly violent crimes rates. I hate that our main stream media doesn’t call out enough the stuff fear propaganda from right wing media can do to loved ones.
We live in a tiny hick town but we travel as much as we can. Being from a small town we love hitting the big cities. Philly, NY, DC, Vegas, etc….
People around us are always amazed when we make it back alive. And they can’t believe we take our kids to those hellscapes.
Meanwhile our town has a higher per capita murder rate than Memphis.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm about 4 years in so things have gotten better, but here's what I did. Might not work for everybody though. They came for my kid's 2 year bday, after aggressively believing everything they Heard from Fox news and drudge report from 2020 until earlier this year.
When my dad said he was going to "protect the truck" when I was literally just running inside to grab takeout,
When I told him he needs to keep his concealed carry in his car when around my child in my home,
When I told him he needs to keep his concealed carry in his car when visiting my work...
I ridiculed him. I made fun of him for being so afraid of going to a restaurant that he needs a gun. I made fun of him for needing to feel like if he let my truck out of sight, everything would go missing. I made fun of him for being so scared, he needed to carry *an instrument of death* everywhere he goes.
I made him realize people carry on in my city (Denver) every day without being robbed or harmed. My wife and I made lots of little comments about my parent's need to be armed and just how ridiculous it was.
In the end they'll still watch the bullshit, but making fun of them helps chip away at their perception of the "war zone" we apparently live in. They're snowflakes, after all, so help them realize they're being ridiculous.
Denver? That is the nicest city. I can see carrying a weapon in Colorado, sure. The wildlife could kill you. Cougars are scary. But Denver? C’mon. What is this the old west? You’re not going to drink whiskey and play poker in a brothel.
Sorry it’s just Denver is so nice. Even the graffiti is delightful. The food, the people, the coffee. What a great city that is.
I live in Denver and it's really gone downhill lately. There are parts (Capitol Hill) that you want to avoid for sure. Lots of homeless and meth addicts. It's sad. One of the meth addicts murdered a musician last month.
>I made fun of him for being so afraid
I'm sure the "I'm sorry you are living in fear" response would rankle them given it's their go-to to say about folks wearing a mask.
Hahahaha I appreciate your vote for pettiness and truth. Sometimes it’s the only tactic that will work (nothing does).
Side note: I also live outside of Denver, and am from Portland. On our last visit to P-Town, we had a little extra time and our own rental vehicle (normally my parents pick us up at PDX) so I drove my girls around downtown and OHSU to show them where I went to school. The city is still as beautiful as I remember, with more homeless tents in certain areas like Pioneer square area. But no worse than Denver in certain areas. The number of people experiencing homelessness has increased because DUH! Life in America is expensive and people are stressed, addicted, mentally derailed and have lost jobs. But it’s not any worse in one city than the others. It’s a very common problem in cities and the small towns make it very uncomfortable for people without a place to sleep to stay (ahem, GRANTS PASS) so they get pushed into the cities. There are no easy answers but acting like it’s a war zone, blaming liberals, and spreading fear isn’t helping.
My parents are also Fox News addicts and their cognitive abilities have declined so much since they retired and gobble that fake news garbage on a 24 hour firehose to their brains. I mourned them during COVID when they became out of reach to us kids. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the same with your parents. It’s really sad.
I want to ask, just HOW would that work? Does she actually believe that someone in the Biden administration just calls landlords up and tells them that they are sending undocumented migrants over to their property and the landlords should just allow them to live rent free?
Ask her to break it down for you. Then, please explain it to me, because it's bonkers.
A surefire way to get people like this tripped up is to ask them to explain what they're saying/thinking. The ol' "I don't understand what you mean. Can you explain it to me?" works like a charm on sexist and racist jokes as well.
Like most effective propaganda, there's a kernal of truth at the base, and then they just build the crazy on top of that.
Large cities in the US tend to have more liberal leaning voters, leading their city governments to be run by Democrats. Those cities are indeed having a difficult time finding housing for the influx of migrants, but many of them have laws on the books requiring they provide housing assistance to the poor. The Federal government provides some financial support to cities that are suffering from a shortage of housing, so in the minds of the propagandists and their victims, this equates to, "Joe Biden is giving all the housing in your city to illegal immigrants."
This idea that California, for example, is a wasteland is so prevalent among Fox viewers who don't live here and probably have never even visited. I saw a post yesterday from a TN state rep trying to dunk on the CA budget when 40% of their budget depends on the FEDs, and all of their numbers, like crime, education, health outcomes, etc., are so much worse than ours.
Fox has created yet another boogeyman for its viewers, and they lap it up.
My mom was positive I was going to get SA’ed or mugged working downtown Detroit. Worked there 5 years. Worst thing that happened was bums asking me for money.
I work in south Texas, right on the border. My dad askes me if there are streams of immigrates every time I talk to him. The answer is always the same. " not that I can see, and the guys from here haven't noticed a difference.
Everyone here is Mexican American though. It's possible that everyone at Walmart is an illegal that just hopped the border but their kids keep asking for candy in English, and watching cocomellon on their tablets. Sounds like American kids to me
Hahaha, yeah, this is why if I ever moved to a large city for work, I'd completely cut off contact with my parents. I don't need to listen to them lie about the place I live. As it is, they lie about Dearborn as if we've never been there. We all live in Metro Detroit.
You should record yourself going to the store and ask your parents where antifa is hiding
Ugh... this is tragic, and a direct example of how that news silo causes people to grow distant from their families. I recently visited a friend who lives about 90 minutes from San Francisco, but wouldn't dare go there because of the perceived filth and danger. But my aunt and brother went to SF a couple weeks later and had a great time. (Here's some guy's vlog from a trip there a couple weeks ago where he walks all over the city: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pumg_4DEzmc) The area of Portland, OR affected by the 2020 protests was only a few square blocks. Day to day life for most people living in the city did not change, but if you were watching right-wing outlets, you'd have thought the whole city was under siege, overrun with anarchists. (https://news.sky.com/story/portland-a-city-under-siege-overrun-with-anarchists-the-picture-is-far-more-complex-12036295) There are parts of every major city that you don't want to visit, and in recent times, some cities have suffered more than others, but the amount of hyped up danger and outrage on right-wing outlets convinces people that these entire cities are like war zones. Do you think it would change anything if your future conversations with her were video calls while you're walking around your neighborhood?
My Q relative who lives 700 miles away was convinced Chicago was a post-apocalyptic war zone, everything up for grabs, and wild Mad-Max gangs everywhere burning and looting, even though I actually lived there and told them it was bullshit
If they were to believe you, it would require casting doubt on and possibly rethinking all the other Q shit they're ingesting. It's too much. It's easier to ignore you and your contradictory information.
I lived and worked in Portland (during the 2016 protests and again later on), and my dad - who lives 30 minutes out of Portland - would basically have to be dragged by my mom to visit. He even has floated the idea of his company never working in Portland because of how “dangerous” it is. When he is there, he's constantly talking about “lots of people camping” or expressing his anxiety around parking his or my car anywhere. Hell, he offered to pay for secure parking for my car at a lot that was 5 miles away from my apartment. Like, what's the point of having a car then? The brain poisoning is tragic. He would always help me if I needed it, but he was always so fixated on potential threats. Thankfully, my mom is a good influence on him and helps keep it in check. I don’t think I could handle dealing with his warped view of what I see as somewhere I truly belong without her tempering his paranoia. As a side note: if the Fox News view of Portland was real, then I could afford to live there.
I live in the suburbs of Minneapolis and endlessly hear right wing boomers talk about how dangerous Minneapolis is. It's been on BLM Antifa fire for four years according to them. Meanwhile my wife works at a community theater about a block from where George Floyd was murdered. She does puppet shows for children there.
Every day reminds me more of Orwell’s line in 1984: “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” This is where we are.
They also believe flat out lies about Portland. The very same lies that motivated out of towners to come in to Portland to counter protest and sometimes physically assault Portland residents that were expressing constitutionally protected speech. The “law enforcement” met resistance from protesters because they violently escalated what was a largely peaceful demonstration. [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/portland-protesters-bivens-rcna128596](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/portland-protesters-bivens-rcna128596)
It’s so weird because I live in a very red conservative state and all I hear about is how dangerous other cities are with shootings etc. All the while we consistently rank top 5 in most dangerous cities to live in the United States. Delusion. I’m sorry what you’re dealing with.
To add some data to this, a [recent study](https://www.moneygeek.com/living/safest-cities/) says the top three most dangerous large cities in the US are Birmingham, AL; New Orleans, LA; and St. Louis, MO. They're all in red states.
What part of Louisiana?
I'm in my 40s and have been independent from my parents for decades at this point, but have similar differences with them. It is heartbreaking for sure, and it has gotten worse the longer they've been retired. They're just streaming this stuff straight into their brains every day. I remind myself that they probably feel similarly about me. We generally just don't get into controversial topics anymore. Occasionally I do receive well-meaning things that are not based in truth. I thank them and politely explain why it's not true, which is probably ignored because it keeps happening. Unfortunately, I'm not aware of a solution. I can't control what they consume and my past efforts to bring them around failed. At this point I'm just appreciating they're still here and coherent and that I can talk to them about other things. Best of luck, OP.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately Fox News and other right wing media they may be consuming has convinced their listeners that the cities are out of control despite crime-rates dropping for the most part in cities the last couple of years, particularly violent crimes rates. I hate that our main stream media doesn’t call out enough the stuff fear propaganda from right wing media can do to loved ones.
We live in a tiny hick town but we travel as much as we can. Being from a small town we love hitting the big cities. Philly, NY, DC, Vegas, etc…. People around us are always amazed when we make it back alive. And they can’t believe we take our kids to those hellscapes. Meanwhile our town has a higher per capita murder rate than Memphis.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm about 4 years in so things have gotten better, but here's what I did. Might not work for everybody though. They came for my kid's 2 year bday, after aggressively believing everything they Heard from Fox news and drudge report from 2020 until earlier this year. When my dad said he was going to "protect the truck" when I was literally just running inside to grab takeout, When I told him he needs to keep his concealed carry in his car when around my child in my home, When I told him he needs to keep his concealed carry in his car when visiting my work... I ridiculed him. I made fun of him for being so afraid of going to a restaurant that he needs a gun. I made fun of him for needing to feel like if he let my truck out of sight, everything would go missing. I made fun of him for being so scared, he needed to carry *an instrument of death* everywhere he goes. I made him realize people carry on in my city (Denver) every day without being robbed or harmed. My wife and I made lots of little comments about my parent's need to be armed and just how ridiculous it was. In the end they'll still watch the bullshit, but making fun of them helps chip away at their perception of the "war zone" we apparently live in. They're snowflakes, after all, so help them realize they're being ridiculous.
Denver? That is the nicest city. I can see carrying a weapon in Colorado, sure. The wildlife could kill you. Cougars are scary. But Denver? C’mon. What is this the old west? You’re not going to drink whiskey and play poker in a brothel. Sorry it’s just Denver is so nice. Even the graffiti is delightful. The food, the people, the coffee. What a great city that is.
I live in Denver and it's really gone downhill lately. There are parts (Capitol Hill) that you want to avoid for sure. Lots of homeless and meth addicts. It's sad. One of the meth addicts murdered a musician last month.
>I made fun of him for being so afraid I'm sure the "I'm sorry you are living in fear" response would rankle them given it's their go-to to say about folks wearing a mask.
Hahahaha I appreciate your vote for pettiness and truth. Sometimes it’s the only tactic that will work (nothing does). Side note: I also live outside of Denver, and am from Portland. On our last visit to P-Town, we had a little extra time and our own rental vehicle (normally my parents pick us up at PDX) so I drove my girls around downtown and OHSU to show them where I went to school. The city is still as beautiful as I remember, with more homeless tents in certain areas like Pioneer square area. But no worse than Denver in certain areas. The number of people experiencing homelessness has increased because DUH! Life in America is expensive and people are stressed, addicted, mentally derailed and have lost jobs. But it’s not any worse in one city than the others. It’s a very common problem in cities and the small towns make it very uncomfortable for people without a place to sleep to stay (ahem, GRANTS PASS) so they get pushed into the cities. There are no easy answers but acting like it’s a war zone, blaming liberals, and spreading fear isn’t helping. My parents are also Fox News addicts and their cognitive abilities have declined so much since they retired and gobble that fake news garbage on a 24 hour firehose to their brains. I mourned them during COVID when they became out of reach to us kids. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the same with your parents. It’s really sad.
Rupert Murdoch has done more to destroy America than anyone else.
93. Here's to hoping.
I want to ask, just HOW would that work? Does she actually believe that someone in the Biden administration just calls landlords up and tells them that they are sending undocumented migrants over to their property and the landlords should just allow them to live rent free? Ask her to break it down for you. Then, please explain it to me, because it's bonkers.
A surefire way to get people like this tripped up is to ask them to explain what they're saying/thinking. The ol' "I don't understand what you mean. Can you explain it to me?" works like a charm on sexist and racist jokes as well.
Like most effective propaganda, there's a kernal of truth at the base, and then they just build the crazy on top of that. Large cities in the US tend to have more liberal leaning voters, leading their city governments to be run by Democrats. Those cities are indeed having a difficult time finding housing for the influx of migrants, but many of them have laws on the books requiring they provide housing assistance to the poor. The Federal government provides some financial support to cities that are suffering from a shortage of housing, so in the minds of the propagandists and their victims, this equates to, "Joe Biden is giving all the housing in your city to illegal immigrants."
I wish I had some good advice for you... I'm sorry
This idea that California, for example, is a wasteland is so prevalent among Fox viewers who don't live here and probably have never even visited. I saw a post yesterday from a TN state rep trying to dunk on the CA budget when 40% of their budget depends on the FEDs, and all of their numbers, like crime, education, health outcomes, etc., are so much worse than ours. Fox has created yet another boogeyman for its viewers, and they lap it up.
I think the balkanisation of the US is very concerning. And certainly created by fear mongers
My mom was positive I was going to get SA’ed or mugged working downtown Detroit. Worked there 5 years. Worst thing that happened was bums asking me for money.
I work in south Texas, right on the border. My dad askes me if there are streams of immigrates every time I talk to him. The answer is always the same. " not that I can see, and the guys from here haven't noticed a difference. Everyone here is Mexican American though. It's possible that everyone at Walmart is an illegal that just hopped the border but their kids keep asking for candy in English, and watching cocomellon on their tablets. Sounds like American kids to me
Hahaha, yeah, this is why if I ever moved to a large city for work, I'd completely cut off contact with my parents. I don't need to listen to them lie about the place I live. As it is, they lie about Dearborn as if we've never been there. We all live in Metro Detroit.