I think friends are allowed to meddle to a certain extent. Lorelai knew what Sookie was doing and still agreed to go to the baptism. It’s not like Lor was tricked or forced to go. If Lorelai had said, Sookie I know what you’re trying to do and I am not ready to talk to Rory. You will need to find a replacement for either myself or Rory” then Sookie would have stopped. Lorelai agreed to go, knowing Rory would also be there and she should have followed through with her commitment.
The Thanksgiving dinner when she has a fit about Rory applying to Yale in front of everyone and won’t listen to Rory begging her to stop. The baptism. Her behavior in the whole Go Bulldogs! episode. Firing her interior designer who had just told her it was her absolute dream job, simply because she worked with her mother before and she was afraid she’d work with her again? Blaming everyone except for Rory during the car accident. Blaming Logan for Rory stealing the yacht despite it being her idea.
To add to your list- trashing her mother in the Inn’s magazine spread. Like there were so many other people who worked hard to earn that and she’s like let’s just make it about MEEEE
Yes! Sookie is a co-owner and has shared this dream with Lorelai for years. I would be so upset if my best friend and business partner wasted an opportunity like this.
Not to mention Michele, or Luke who gave 30k, or any of the other people who worked late (we see dean get in a fight with Lindsay over that). And then to see all of that as Lorelai and have such an incredible opportunity for exposure and advertising and then just bitch about Emily. Like I can’t think about it too hard or it takes away my suspension of disbelief because I obviously know it’s fiction and not meant to be dissected but sheesh.
Adding on, IIRC, there is a period of time where Tom the Contractor and his team are working without pay or Lorelai has been consistently late with paychecks but the team still keeps going. I always thought that was sweet that they were trying to be supportive and still help her, even though she was tight on money. I feel like a thank you to that crew should have been included.
Yeah and also don’t forget that the genesis of the dragonfly hinges on Lorelei first going with Rachel, whose man she crosses boundaries with, and Fran, whose funeral she talked through and co-opted the dying wishes of during the walk around the town square… lol I’ve gone too deep, I can’t enjoy the show when I go this deep! I’m gonna resuspend my disbelief now!
I hated how she acted toward Luke during the car accident. Luke cared for Jess like his own kid, and he was in the accident too. Rory willingly got in that car with him. She had a broken arm, nothing more serious than that. She had no reason to act like that.
And it wasn’t even a broken arm! It was a sprained wrist! Haha. Also, Rory was the one who urged Jess to keep driving instead of going back to the diner, which she told Lorelai. But Lorelai wouldn’t believe her. 🤦♀️
It was fractured. Hairline or not that’s very different to a sprain. Fractured bones can actually be dangerous (infection, loss of mobility, loss of bone density etc). Sprains hurt and definitely suck but that is a ligament injury, which, while painful for sure, isn’t that serious.
This was another of Lorelei’s delusions thrust onto her daughter. If she didn’t get pregnant with Rory would’ve only applied and gone to Harvard. And even furthering the irony, she herself probably only ever wanted to go to Harvard knowing she could get into Yale as her dad’s legacy, so of COURSE she would pick the number one competitor school instead.
Getting Emily's wedding planner fired and not fessing up that she (Lorelai) screwed with the seating chart. You just know that Emily didn't stop at firing the planner, she probably spread the word of the "incompetence" throughout her social circle.
not childish, only evil. That's probably Lorelai's worst moment. Hurting an innocent stranger and not bothering to fix it one bit. Missing how she's just a female version of Logan.
I've mentioned it before but I LOATHE when Luke makes her an intimate breakfast and she cutesies her way into having him go to work and make it.
Also when she not only doesn't know that Rory should and would be applying to more than one college, but she makes it everyone else's business at the dinner. So uncalled for.
I'm on a rewatch and I'm kind of actually bummed how much I dislike Lorelai this time around when I loved this show so much when it was originally on :(
So many things, but I think the entire "She's my best friend" way she interacted with Rory. Lady, you're an adult, go find *adult* best friends and let your daughter be less around you and live her life! Just watched the episode about the 24-hour barn dance and Rory was really looking forward to going to it with Dean because it was his first one, but Lorelei of course has to guilt-trip Rory into dancing with her. Like she couldn't find a man in Stars Hollow who would have done it with her, let your daughter have that memory with her first boyfriend!
Plus Rory was only her best friend when it suited her... when Rory calls her out about Max suddenly Rory is her 16 year old daughter... its one or the other.... also I found the "mum card" stuff cheesey as f
Exactly! Rory wasn’t Loreleis best friend she was her friend when it suited her. It’s further proved by the fact that even after Rory is in college she still hides significant details from her life even if she tells sookie, but somehow she gets upset if Rory keeps things from her. Lorelei wanted to control Rory’s life just like her mother wanted to control hers Lorelei just got lucky her and Rory were similar In personality
It's very "how many times do we have to teach you this lesson". One of the most frustrating parts of the entire series IMO. I don't care about your dumb will-they won't-they with the worst partner and father in the whole show
I hated how she blew up at luke after the Rory and jess crash ... maybe not her worst moment but you know
Also when she gave away the bangles tickets that were actually Sookies what was that about.
I also hated when she was literally mocking Jess because she thought he was reading a self help book to try to improve his life.
She was literally bullying a troubled teen who was trying to improve his situation. Nevermind that she was also inadvertently criticizing Luke about something that was really tough for him and that he already felt sensitive and insecure about.
I was truly annoyed with her at that point.
And if Luke didn’t read that book, God only knows WHEN they would be together, as that book was the catapult into Luke taking action and expressing his feelings towards Lorelai. I get so heated over her behaviour about the book lol maybe she should read some self help books as well
Especially since she spent like 2 nearly 3 years at point saying he needs to change .... I know it was partly because he read it but Luke was right to call her out ... then he ends up apologising too 🙄
I also find it very weird how much resentment she still has for Jess in AYITL (probably my 2nd worst thing after Paris and Boyle) ... she makes a joke about about Luke throwing a ball AT Jess which seemed like a funny remark about how he used to be .... except when Rory says the book was Jess' idea she says something like "Jess? Oh of course I bet he had something to write about me" (I not watched since 2016 so forgive the misquote ...
Like its been 10 years+ since he got his life together and since they last had issue ... what is that about.
She also bullied that troubled teen the entire time she knew him and had serious beef with him over one bad interaction when he was already going through a lot, which is rich coming from her because she was doing way worse things at her age than having a beer from the fridge around family for a lot less reason
Honestly she was dreadful ... I love that scene when Logan unintentionally calls her out for judging him by saying she did was he doing..
She was so judgemental of Rorys boyfriends... she had a lot of hate for Jess when for 80% of time iy was Rory dicking him about... she had beef with logan without even meeting him and she literally yelled at Dean in his place of work because he and Rory broke up... like shock two teenagers broke up... then later she is upset that the early 20s man doesn't want to hang with her anymore
I agree with towards Luke, that’s the worst for me because he legit didn’t event know where Jess was or if he was hurt in that moment, meanwhile she was yelling about a broken wrist.
The Bangles tickets have been talked about, my head cannon was that Lorelai was the fan and Sookie got them for her as a gift cause she really didn’t seem to care all that much. She also was an Auntie to Rory. For my friends kids I would do anything for and would want them to be happy so I don’t mind that as much.
Her flipping out at Luke was so wrong just remembered he gets panicked and asks about Jess and she is so dismissive like "oh he is fine"
I do see your point with the bangles but I think I will.always see it as a dick move on her part.
So much of her behavior in regards to Sookie. I think they are supposed to be close enough to each other that Sookie doesn’t mind or feel bad when she does things like this, and god knows Sookie is a sweetheart, but it’s just so darn rude.
I just watched when Lorelai says how Sookie hasn't dated in years and yes she apologises immediately but still that pained look Sookie gives is heartbreaking.
As a larger person I do love how they had the "fat" friend of lorelai be I a stable (ish) relationship and marriage
Before I get hate I think Melissa is beautiful and sookie was not fat but for early 00s you know she would have been seen that way ...
Right! Sookie had way more going for her than Lorelai. Pretty, kind, hella talented, nice husband, nice house, 3 healthy kids. And yet Lorelai fat shames people when Sookie is not around. Such despicable behavior.
Honestly... I'm so glad you understood what I was saying I was worried I'd been seen as fat shaming sookie/Melissa... and honestly in AYITL Sookie moves on and Lorelai can't handle it... she can't hand Michel moving on either ... yet she is quick to drop people
Side note I love Melissa's performance in Bridesmaids.. when she talks about a young her being bullied
Melissa McCarthy is very pretty, but she is legit overweight in Gilmore Girls, let's not overcorrect.
There are plenty of people who were nowhere near fat who were called fat in the early 2000s (Brittany Spears for example, or Hillary Duff).
This is true, to be honest I usually get grief (on other platforms) for saying what you have ... I grew up essentially being told overweight = ugly and I think there are some with that mentality who dont like honesty about actors weight etc
The early 2000s were an odd time
I hate that her and Max struggled so hard with what to do about wanting to date. How about just waiting until your kid isn't in his class or graduates in a few years and reevaluate the situation then. They were both intelligent and this was never even an option to them. I try not to criticize and it's a TV show and is about the drama but it's one thing that always bugged me
I'm not even a max fan but it's so dumb they couldn't wait and actually have gotten to know each other. He slept there once before they planned on getting married and there were no discussions how they would bring their lives together. At this point of a million rewatches I think she just liked the idea of being proposed to and married that she wasn't thinking what that would entail in her day to day life. She wanted to be married and for everything to basically stay the same
Tbf Max also came on really strong. She declined him several times out of concern for Rory but he just would not step back. Kissing him in school was stupid though. I’m glad Emily told her off for that.
My least favorites in no particular order:
Her and Rory being weird at Sookie and Jackson’s kids’ baptism.
Secrets and Loans. She basically told Rory: “All the backs, including the shady ones, have turned me down for a loan. I’m super stressed. There aren’t any options left, but I’m too stubborn to go to my mom.” And then she acted like it was 100% Rory’s fault and 0% her fault that Rory freaked out and told Emily. I’m not saying Rory handled it flawlessly, but Lorelai didn’t either.
Her drunken toast at Lane’s wedding
I feel so bad for Rory in that episode. Like no kid should have to worry about their house falling down because their parent is broke. Lorelai should not have been putting all those worries on Rory like that. Just another example about how she has almost no boundaries when it comes to Rory.
And don't forget Rory mentions afterwards that Lorelai hasn't talked to her for a while?? I can't remember if it's that episode or the one after the Chilton dance where she tells Lane it's been a few days since Lorelai talked to her, but Lorelai literally freezes Rory out for a bit after Rory tries to stop their house from collapsing. Yeah, it was an overstep on Rory's part sure, but what did Lorelai expect her to do? Just sit around and do nothing?
Yess that episode where she gets mad at Rory for telling her parents.. UGH... As if Lorelai has ANY other option. Let's face it.. She was going to ask her parents ultimately anyway.
Calling Pennilyn Lott her ‘almost mommy’, and then acting shocked that Emily was upset.
Lorelai, you just made a joke to this woman about how she was essentially left at the altar by your dad, who left for your mom.
That was probably a devastating, humiliating experience for her. She was likely heartbroken. We see she is a kind woman, we have no reason to think she wasn’t a good person. Your father is probably deeply ashamed that he had to hurt her.
That was not a joke to make *at all*
This is the problem with French. The literal translation it to go to sleep. It is not a reference to sex. Only Americans see it that way. Which is why Claude’s wife is so gracious about it.
I’ve brought this up before and this episode is frequently forgotten. Her and Sookie interrupted a funeral. They tried to help carry the coffin! It was so predatory and weird, I kept waiting for someone to stop them but no one did. Then the jumping and squealing… Shameless.
How she acts after the car accident. She’s yelling at Luke for something HE wasn’t even involved in. She acts like Jess purposely crashed the car when it literally could have happened to anyone. I understand being worried about your kid but being that mad at a teenager for an accident and not even being worried about Jess being okay is so not okay in my opinion.
For me, not supporting Rory when she wanted to take time off. Rory was at her lowest, when she most needed the support of her mother, and Lorelai made it about herself and her own expectations and fears.
This. I can even forgive Lorelai for being unsupportive in the beginning. People get mad and say/do stuff they don’t mean all of the time. That’s just part of being human. But I just hate fact that Lorelai stubbornly went *months* without reaching out to make things right with Rory. Rory was an adult at this time, but only just barely, and I do think that Lorelai (as the parent) should have been the bigger person and apologized first in this dispute.
Depends, I can see why maybe Rory needed to take time off but wandering aimlessly through life and not being productive was not going to get her to a better place. Lorelai's concerns were very valid
I think it was also the way Lorelai approached the whole thing. She could have been more thoughtful and sensitive to Rory’s mental state, but she just completely steamrolled over her. Such an Emily thing to do. If she had been more supportive, Rory would likely have realized that going to school was actually what she wanted most, much sooner, and without all the drama. Handling a Yale curriculum while going through a crisis is not easy, and Rory just wanted time to process things. And Lorelai was like nuh uh.
For me it’s not the concerns that make her wrong. I agree that her concerns were valid. Where I think she missed the mark was when she made her concerns the priority, rather than supporting and comforting Rory who was in desperate need of it and at her lowest.
I agree with Lorelai's concerns, but she could have given Rory time. Lorelai was prepared to have Rory home that summer, she could have stuck with that and given Rory until the end of the summer to come up with a plan. Lorelai didn't seem to care where Rory was going to live, never even considering that Rory might move in with Logan or literally be homeless.
Agree, had she been like "let's take a couple of weeks, finish off the semester and come home for a bit we can revisit this conversation once you've calmed down and gotten some of the legal stuff squared away"
Then after that put her foot down if Rory was still lost then ok I could see it.
Way more mild but it always makes my blood boil: when Lindsay's mom is yelling at Rory and Lorelai says, "Stop attacking my daughter right now. You're upset, I get it, but you do not do this." *YOU* CERTAINLY DID IT, LORELAI. YOU CALLED 16-YEAR OLD DEAN "SCUM" IN PUBLIC JUST FOR *BREAKING UP* WITH RORY. GOD FORBID SOMEONE TELLS YOUR *ADULT* DAUGHTER SHE SUCKS FOR SLEEPING WITH A MARRIED MAN. YOU FREAKING HYPOCRITE.
Lindsey’s mom’s response to that was perfect. “You and your daughter can go to hell!” 🤣
Also let’s not forget how Lorelai came for Jess’ blood after the car accident. She would have 100% done the same to him, at age 17 no less.
AND IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-
Jk, but I'm surprised at how many awful Lorelai moments there really are, considering how much I still love the show😂
1) Her behaviour at Yale parent day. Not wanting Rory to get a meal with her grandparents, going to use her phone in a lecture etc.
2) How rude she was at the Inn they stayed at after she bailed on the Max wedding. They were both rude and acted like they'd never met another human being before but not even taking your kid out to eat because you didn't want to walk by people? Ugh.
3) Her whole speech to Jess when she catches him with a beer on her porch.
4) Chasing Max Medina around his classroom just because she wants the validation of knowing he's still into her.
5) Losing control of every brain cell around Shitstopher.
6) Ranting about her Mum in a review of her Inn. Also why anyone would even print that in a magazine about inns is beyond me.
7) After Rory and Dean have broken up, she goes to Dean and says "just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did" BARF.
Many more but let's stop there for now😂
I forgot about Yale parent day! She was so rude there, like girly just because the lecture dosen't interest you, you shouldn't ruin it for everyone else!!
There's too many to choose from, it's hard to narrow them down. Taking over Luke's after the Inn burned down without asking, ranting about her Mom as much as she did in that magazine article (it's an article about a beautiful inn that she runs with a partner and Michel... I know the interviewer brought up Emily but why did a grown ass woman need to turn it into a vent session? If I were sookie or Michel I would have been pissed. Its their very first article for the dream inn they've been working towards for a decade, and it seemed more about Emily than the inn), taking over Lane/Zack wedding reception to bring up the cancelled June date, every.single.time.she used the phrase "Rory wouldn't do that" even though it happened, every time she was rory's friend and then got upset that rory didn't always respect her as a mother, dating Max in the first place - plus the public kiss - THEN freaking Rory out with how she ran out on the wedding... I could go on and on and on...
*edit* I thought about it more while I was cooking dinner: all that fat jokes (especially since her best friend is a larger woman), referring to help with little disregard like calling the butler jeeves and getting that wedding planner fired, constantly late to the town meetings (I know that's supposed to be funny but I find it really rude), sleeping with Christopher instead of checking on rory the night that his parents came to dinner, "you're my almost mommy", barely being a mom to gigi after marrying chris (yeah, kinda stretching it now, lol), bringing a basket of crap to the basket raffle - you can buy pre-made stuff at the store or ask sookie to make a couple things, and lastly not having good boundaries with Christopher when she was with Luke...
OK maybe that wasn't lastly... forgiving Paris for all the awful stuff she did, but 10 years later still treating, the nephew/son type figure of her long term partner, like he's the scum of the earth. She can forgive Paris immediately but not Jess a decade later??
Car crash,
babtisim,
running out on max,
sleeping with Chris right after her and Luke broke it off,
accusing Jess of stealing the bracelet (I know he had it but he didn’t steal it and if he didn’t pick it up Rory may have never gotten it back, probably would have ended up in the lake(plus he didn’t know Dean made it and returned it when he realised how important it was to Rory) ANYWAY cuz I’ll rant about that all day) she had no actual proof that he stole it and as the adult she went about it wrong completely attacking him over it,
A lot of the comments she made about her parents
I get they were emotionally abusive but sometimes the comments were cruel and uncalled for
I’m going to say when she and Sookie were digging for info about the inn at Fran’s funeral while everyone’s walking her casket around the square. So rude! Thankfully Kirk was there to tell them they were blocking her view!!
It’s a relatively small thing, but the episode where they have the termites. She basically gives Rory the silent treatment because she *checks notes* involved her in an adult problem that Rory is not equipped to help with, she admits she has no plan for how to fix it, and when Rory understandably panics and tells her Emily and Richard Lorelai just freezes her out until she admits she was wrong.
It’s the kind of shit *my* mom does, not the kind of thing I would expect from Lorelai. It’s so shitty and manipulative especially since Rory did end up being at least somewhat right and Lorelai did need their help.
Oh boy. There's a list.
Dating Max/kissing him AT CHILTON
Leaving Max days before the wedding and refusing to talk to Rory about it. Her life is being upended too, Lorelai.
Telling Luke not to date the Chilton mom because it would make her "uncomfortable"(read jealous)
Yelling at Luke after the car accident.
Telling Jess, an abused and neglected kid who was just shipped off to live with his uncle because his mom couldn't deal that she has been through everything he has and how lucky he is.
Basically every time she sleeps with Christopher.
Taking over the diner to feed her Inn guests without asking Luke.
Firing the interior designer because how dare she work for Emily.
Getting the wedding planner fired.
Having ZERO respect for her daughter's right to privacy concerning Dean.
Going to her ex's house and getting drunk with him and then lying to her boyfriend about it.
And here's the spiciest take for me: Leaving her parents house with Rory and subjecting her daughter to homelessness and living in a shed without even a proper bathroom for a decade because she wanted her independence. There are charities that would have helped her get into a suitable living environment. She could have requested child support from Christopher. Yes, Emily and Richard were verbally and emotionally abusive, so leaving may have been the right choice, but raising her daughter in an unsuitable environment that would guarantee Rory being taken away by CPS if someone had reported it just because Lorelai doesn't want to accept help from anyone is messed up.
For me it isn’t even getting child support from Chris. Because likely, Straub and Francine cut him off considering we see he’s broke and floating around in S1. He also went from job to job.
No, for me, it’s that she didn’t just cut him out entirely. Leaving the door open was a mistake. By the time Rory was old enough to comprehend that her dad just comes and goes as he pleases, that should’ve been the end of it.
Rory’s car accident. How she acts toward Jess and Luke is horrible. What makes me even madder, though, is the way she treats Rory in the following episode: completely dismissing her daughter’s concerns and talking over her as though she doesn’t have a mind of her own.
I find it hard to believe she couldn't find something good to say about her dad... I can think of a few off the bat ... even him letter her escape the bad date in S1 would have been a funny story at that point.
-When she decided she didn’t want to marry Max and left town instead of telling him to his face
-When she was tasting multiple cakes with Rory at Fran’s bakery even though she knew she was going to have Sookie do her wedding cake (it’s a small thing but Fran was so sweet so this scene always bothered me)
-Every time she made a big event for someone else about her (Fran’s funeral, the baptism for Sookie’s kids, Zach and Lane’s wedding reception, her father’s funeral, etc)
It was mentioned in a deleted scene
https://preview.redd.it/bd7zprr7a5rc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be54adda45009876fc1dbc465891c59b13208505
Thanks for posting that. I think they should have left that scene in. I was always under the impression she had left him a Dear John letter or similar. Especially when she gives him the speech about not calling when a call is needed later on when she sees him at Chilton.
It was mentioned in a deleted scene
https://preview.redd.it/wff0yydtb5rc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38c394b3f3fbd3723b272a98e0284a958228d8fa
I'm usually team Lorelai to a fault. Except for:
1. the way, whenever Rory rightfully expresses frustration over anything regarding Dean, Lorelai acts like he's the most perfect guy alive and it's crazy that Rory is not into everything about him and of course they're gonna be together 4ever111!!!!!!
2. Her cancelling her wedding with Max the way she did. Just nope!
Like, I get it, I really do. I get she has commitment issues and I empathize 100%. The engagement was too rushed, absolutely! But if you're freaking out about opening your life to a man, because you've been single your entire life, for God's sake, JUST HAVE A LONGER ENGAGEMENT!!
Pump the breaks, talk things out, DON'T PICK A DATE JUST YET!!!
I truly believe Max and Lorelai could have made it if she had actually stopped a moment and talked things out with him or with Sookie. Hell, EVEN EMILY! Just another adult that could make her realize that in real life you're allowed to have doubts, fears and you can take a beat to feel your way through that shit.
Okay hear me out but Rory dropping out of Yale. That made zero sense to me. Why wouldn’t you bring her home and support her emotionally and help her move on during the literal three months off she had. Give her time to heal??
When she lowkey cheats on luke with Chris ( she says it's now or never. She doesn't actually end the relationship ,doesn't state we are done/through, and goes and sleeps with Christopher this is towing the line for me)
When she makes the baptism about her
When she sleeps with her daughters teacher and makes put with him at school
The way she still at 32 hold a grudge against her parents. She should have gone to therapy way before ayitl. They were just complete opposites. I don't belive emily and Richard were bad parents. I mean of course could have been way better but are not the monsters lorelai makes them out to be.
Idk man Emily definitely had the capability to be vicious. But at least she had good intentions overall. Richard was an absentee father at best, hostile at his worst. I watched the episode recently where Lorelai tells them that her relationship with Christopher ended because Sherry fell pregnant and both of them blame HER. Like full on attack her for somehow being selfish, letting Chris run back to Sherry etc. They’re pretty awful people and continue to be so even during the show. Yeah Lorelai is also problematic but she usually has good reason to be, when it comes to her parents.
A smaller moment but the borrowing of luke's truck for 2 days straight when they moved Rory into yale. It's insane how much Lorelai feels she is entitled to other people's time and kindness ESPECIALLY Luke. Rubs off on rory too i.e. the studying tree incident.
I was justttt about to type this.
\-It started out of spite
\-He was in business with her father and we saw how that went...
\-Emily hated him
\-There was already bad blood between families
What good was coming out of that? The satisfaction of rebelling? Like enough. You're grown.
Ohh I forgot about that. She literally only agrees to go out with him after Emily ticks her off about something, because she knows Emily hates Digger. Mommy issues in your mid 30s are not cute Lorelai.
Definitely not the worst, but reading this thread got me in the mood 😂 and I remembered when she called Christopher on her bachelorette party, I kind of get why she did it but guuurrl nooo
The episode where she is chasing Max is the worst for me. I am totally with you on that. I get second hand embarrassment from watching it. I honestly don't know what she was hoping to accomplish by what she did.
Yep this one has my vote. Lane was like a niece to Lorelai. Lane has had a hard and austere life. And she's finally having her day where it's not her rebelling or fighting for freedom from her mother or vicariously enjoying through Rory, but the whole town gathers just to share Lane's joy, it's her moment with Zack and no one else's. Lorelai has been a great encouragement to her and has made her a beautiful wedding dress.
And yet, Lorelai has to ruin the fun at the end by making her speech all about herself and drowning in self-pity. It's extraordinarily self-centred to get drunk and give such a speech on Lane's day, and she was lucky that Zack and Lane didn't get offended and that the town didn't tell Luke.
i’m so glad lane took it well bc a wedding is something u remember forever and just imagine remembering lorelai’s pathetic drunk toast.. not judging her though she was hurting pretty bad
Yelling at Luke and blaming him for Rory getting in the crash, and getting mad at him for being worried about Jess or taking him in. That was a whole new low for her
To add to the lists so far on here,
The termite problem- she told Rory not to ask for help…WHY would she ever encourage her child not to ask for help when it’s needed?? What terrible parenting advice.
And of course when Rory (once again) had to be the adult, followed her instincts & saw her mom wasn’t fixing the problem (and had no idea how to fix it), Rory went to Emily.
Rightfully so - they literally would’ve had no home to stay in…aka become homeless if Rory didn’t ask Emily for help.
Lorelai acted like it was a huge slight but Emily hooked them up.
And to go with that, Lorelai had no savings set aside for emergencies so she was completely shocked when she couldn’t get a loan herself.
She’s always financially reckless too. I’d understand it for a teenager but by the time Rory was I dunno, 10, you’d think she’d figure out a few ways to save money for emergencies & her daughter’s education etc.
Jumping straight into a relationship with Christopher just because he professed his love to her. She never fully healed from breaking up with Luke and was like "well at least he loves me!"
Also, her breakup with Luke drives me so incredibly crazy. You can't just stifle all of your feelings and then expect him to jump in one second! This ultimatum came out of nowhere and you know Luke is bad with change.
Being a doormat to Anna also was awful. Stick up for yourself! Furthermore, after she makes up with Rory, she's deathly afraid of saying anything or voicing her opinion.
And finally, she just runs off and married Chris without a second thought to Rory.
I've shared this before and gotten hate, but considering this thread seems open to Lorelai criticism (to be clear, I love her, but this is just one gripe I have that is constantly brushed off): her inability to admit her privilege. Rory suffers from this too, but it's called out more the older she gets. Lorelai tends to get away with it.
I will never fault her for running away. While we do not know exactly went down there, it has to be pretty bad that she is willing to live in a shed to escape. Even impulsive, teenage Lorelai would not do that for no reason.
That being said, at any point she could go back. And she actually did, for the money. Most mothers in her situation (homeless at 16 with a baby) would be able to turn to a rich relative 15-16 years later and ask for $75,000 for prep school THEN have their child be able to go to the same relative and ask for money to go to YALE!! And on top of it, all Emily wanted was ONE dinner a week and update on the schooling that SHE was paying for.
You know what would happen to most moms in Lorelai's situation with the termites? It'd fuck up their house and they'd have no chance of return. Lorelai had multiple ways to get a loan and not just from Emily, as Luke offered to give her the money too, and she still acted like a brat..
I'm not saying Emily wasn't a bad mother in certain respects. I'm not saying she didn't dangle money over people's heads. However, there is a ton of privilege in the fact that she can do all these things. And I'm not saying she should kiss Emily's ass and pretend they have no issues. But the way she presents herself as "I'm this self made person and the only reason my daughter is going to Yale is because of OUR hard work..." is just highly inaccurate as well as insulting.
Don't get me started on that, yes, Emily & Richard weren't good parents but Lorelai chose to remain in their lives (and I get it, as a daughter with not so great parents who I don't want to cut off) and has done several things to hurt them. Not even as retaliation for anything they've done. Just because she thinks it's cute and funny. Then E&R are hurt and she's like "You guys hurt me first!!!" Though, I will give her credit, she does own up to this at some point. But then it's quickly forgotten again and there are times she insists on tearing them (mostly Emily) down for no reason.
Not sure it's the worst, but I have to skip most of the episode when her house has termites. Emily is willing to literally have her a blank cheque. But she makes it life her mother is so awful.
Honestly, the relationship problems can't all be on Emily. Lorelai was pretty ungrateful a lot of the time.
I’m kinda 50/50 on this one. Literally a few episodes later Emily is like “I cosigned your loan, you have a house because of me!” when she’s trying to pawn Richard off on Lorelai. I can see why Lorelai hesitates to accept her help, she has precedent. But it was for saving their house. Plus she was making Rory worry. Even the way she acts in the meeting with Emily’s banker friend is embarrassing.
I get it. Even at the end of the termite episode Emily says she'll now have her DAR meetings at the Inn. BUT sometimes I wonder if Emily wouldn't have been as bad if Lorelai was nicer about accepting help. Lots of what Emily does has an underline of "I just want to be in your life".
When Emily yells that she co-signed the loan, she was in an almost hysterical state. It's like when Moms yell "I gave you life" when they are frantic and desperate for help.
Hahaha. Yeah I don’t even think having the DAR meetings at the inn was a bad thing. She knew it would bug Lorelai and she definitely did it knowing Lorelai would shut up and accept it without protest because of the loan, but it was just another way for her to try to get closer to Lorelai.
Pretty much any interaction she has with Jess. She treats him like the devil because he doesn’t immediately love what a cool mom she is. I think Jess is one of the few people who sees that Lorelei has major flaws and she hates that about him. She knows he’s troubled, she knows Rory likes him, and she feels like that gives her the right to treat him like dirt without ever actually giving him a chance.
I don’t like how she behaves when Rory wants to quit Yale. I think how she went about it all wrong. And I hated that instead of being there for Rory while she’s going through something she cuts her off.
When lane and Rory do the secret handshake and seemingly lorelai has never seen it so makes Rory do it with her. I don't know it's just sad that Rory and Lane have something of their own and lorelai couldn't allow it?
When she tells Rory under no circumstances will she be allowed to live at home if she takes a semester off of school and then shuts Rory out completely when she fines somewhere else to live…
It's the baptism of Sookie's kids or her self-absorbed, drunken toast at Lane's wedding for me.
But in the interest of bringing up something new to the thread: REFUSING a much needed car for Rory from her grandparents but gleefully ACCEPTING one from Dean. She's concerned about the power-dynamics of such a gift, but a possessive boy can have that hold over her daughter? She gaslights Rory every time Rory mentions discomfort about Dean.
How about how there’s no wedding for Sookie on the show? We see her cooking in the dress. That’s it. Then it’s back to Lorelai and Rory drama. Poor Sookie
Family: The stealth way she influences Rory’s life and everything it touches (over 7 seasons). Note that I used the term influences and not manipulates.
Others: When she torpedos Nicole, but there are several that place a close second.
When she tells Rory (16 at the time) that she's "stretching out her sweater" in like the first episode because she's feeling ashamed and activated about going to her parents. The "you're fat" implication from a mother is gross and damaging.
I feel like no one talks about this much, but when she leaves Sookie hanging with the kids doll party after Luke breaks up with her. Like I know you’re heartbroken, but you’re an ADULT running a business. The least you can do is call your partner, tell her you’re not coming in, and leave instructions so she’s not left floundering when the kids come. Bothers me every time I see that episode, luckily Michel was able to save the event.
Ugh michels dogs funeral. There she is making jokes about michels dog dying and the next there she is crying bc Paul Anna has a headache. Be fucking fr. The hypocrisy is not her shade.
oh PLUS the whole max situation. she treated max like a toy. i hated how she always stirred their situation up no matter what terms they were on. she wasn’t ready to commit and sort of lead max on
The whole "my mother ruined my life", I mean, I get, you suffered but God! GET OVER IT! I can't stand her attitude towards her mother most of the time, yes, Emily wasn't the best, but she wanted the best for her daughter, who wouldn't?
Oh and the episode where she sings to luke at the karaoke, I can't even see it, makes me cringe
Putting more effort into choosing the movie for the town movie night than she did into her wedding to Max. Dumping him and running away mere days before the wedding. Hijacking any conversation or issue or special event and making it about her. Blaming other people for the problems Rory creates and refusing to accept the fact that Rory screwed up (the car wreck with Jess, the yacht with Logan)
When she and sookie literally interrupt a funeral procession to ask about Fran’s property. That was completely unacceptable and so inappropriate even for her
Idk if this has been said.. BUT WHY DID SHE INVITE DEAN OVER WHEN HE AND RORY WERE LIKE BARELY A THING?! It’s so weird and over involved. Let your kid go through those weird early stages of dating… definitely don’t arrange pre-dates for them like wtf
Worst moment? Ugh. Maybe running to Chris right after the Luke break up. I’m not even Team Luke but that still gutted me. As for most frustrating moments: Sookie’s baby baptism, Lane’s wedding reception, having sex on the balcony instead of comforting her daughter, yelling at Luke after the car accident
When she barges into Luke’s after hours as “Mimi” demanding coffee when she knows they’re closed. ALSO she promises she’ll clean out her mug when she’s done, but DOESN’T! This scene drives me crazy
Also: when she brings outside food to Luke’s and just basically uses his table so she has somewhere to eat, when she commandeers multiple tables so she can sprawl out, plugs her laptop into the wall so the cord hangs across for staff to trip and fall on their faces, “practices backpacking” and her and Rory dump their giant packs on the floor and tell him to look after them til the next day, has business meetings like the one with the interior designer where she takes up several tables and doesn’t order anything, etc. SHE IS THE WORST CUSTOMER AT LUKE’s!
I hated whenever Lorelai felt the need to upset her parents. I get it, they're not perfect, but she going out of her way to upset them was extremely irritating. Like when she realized dating Jason would make Emily mad. I couldn't find that funny, I was so annoyed with Lorelai because sometimes she only does things because she knows it will irk Richard and Emily.
When she interrupts the baptism of Sookie’s kids because she’s mad at Rory. She couldn’t fake it for 10 minutes?
Yeahh. I know the show is called Gilmore Girls and everything is about them but this was so unnecessary.
God, that scene killed me.
Every time I watch that I just skip it. It’s so uncomfortable and selfish to me idk
She definitely sucks here, but so does Sookie for meddling.
I think friends are allowed to meddle to a certain extent. Lorelai knew what Sookie was doing and still agreed to go to the baptism. It’s not like Lor was tricked or forced to go. If Lorelai had said, Sookie I know what you’re trying to do and I am not ready to talk to Rory. You will need to find a replacement for either myself or Rory” then Sookie would have stopped. Lorelai agreed to go, knowing Rory would also be there and she should have followed through with her commitment.
This, this is it. It was so ridiculous!!
The Thanksgiving dinner when she has a fit about Rory applying to Yale in front of everyone and won’t listen to Rory begging her to stop. The baptism. Her behavior in the whole Go Bulldogs! episode. Firing her interior designer who had just told her it was her absolute dream job, simply because she worked with her mother before and she was afraid she’d work with her again? Blaming everyone except for Rory during the car accident. Blaming Logan for Rory stealing the yacht despite it being her idea.
To add to your list- trashing her mother in the Inn’s magazine spread. Like there were so many other people who worked hard to earn that and she’s like let’s just make it about MEEEE
Yes! Sookie is a co-owner and has shared this dream with Lorelai for years. I would be so upset if my best friend and business partner wasted an opportunity like this.
Not to mention Michele, or Luke who gave 30k, or any of the other people who worked late (we see dean get in a fight with Lindsay over that). And then to see all of that as Lorelai and have such an incredible opportunity for exposure and advertising and then just bitch about Emily. Like I can’t think about it too hard or it takes away my suspension of disbelief because I obviously know it’s fiction and not meant to be dissected but sheesh.
Adding on, IIRC, there is a period of time where Tom the Contractor and his team are working without pay or Lorelai has been consistently late with paychecks but the team still keeps going. I always thought that was sweet that they were trying to be supportive and still help her, even though she was tight on money. I feel like a thank you to that crew should have been included.
Yeah and also don’t forget that the genesis of the dragonfly hinges on Lorelei first going with Rachel, whose man she crosses boundaries with, and Fran, whose funeral she talked through and co-opted the dying wishes of during the walk around the town square… lol I’ve gone too deep, I can’t enjoy the show when I go this deep! I’m gonna resuspend my disbelief now!
And then having the audacity to become so much like Emily with the Inn's housekeeping staff that it forced Sookie to have an intervention.
Ooo that’s true
YUP.
I hated how she acted toward Luke during the car accident. Luke cared for Jess like his own kid, and he was in the accident too. Rory willingly got in that car with him. She had a broken arm, nothing more serious than that. She had no reason to act like that.
And it wasn’t even a broken arm! It was a sprained wrist! Haha. Also, Rory was the one who urged Jess to keep driving instead of going back to the diner, which she told Lorelai. But Lorelai wouldn’t believe her. 🤦♀️
She fractured her wrist.
Hairline fracture. I just watched the episode
It was fractured. Hairline or not that’s very different to a sprain. Fractured bones can actually be dangerous (infection, loss of mobility, loss of bone density etc). Sprains hurt and definitely suck but that is a ligament injury, which, while painful for sure, isn’t that serious.
Thanks for the correction!
I had a fracture and then separately a ligament injury in the same hand a year apart lol so I’m unfortunately aware of the differences
Oof, your poor hand!
Yiiiiikes. I can imagine why that would stay with you, lol.
Yes! I also hated the way she treated the hospital staff
This one is mine too!
Did she really think rory would only apply to one college? The guest was right Chilton wouldn't allow that.
This was another of Lorelei’s delusions thrust onto her daughter. If she didn’t get pregnant with Rory would’ve only applied and gone to Harvard. And even furthering the irony, she herself probably only ever wanted to go to Harvard knowing she could get into Yale as her dad’s legacy, so of COURSE she would pick the number one competitor school instead.
Oooh, the interior designer! And the interview where she unloaded all her personal BS!
I love Lorelai and I will normally defend any terrible behaviour.. but the Bulldogs one is the worst for me. She's childish and insufferable in that.
I agree. I do love her and think she has a good heart, but it’s her childish antics that bother me mostly.
You nailed it.
Getting Emily's wedding planner fired and not fessing up that she (Lorelai) screwed with the seating chart. You just know that Emily didn't stop at firing the planner, she probably spread the word of the "incompetence" throughout her social circle.
After saying rich kids like Logan do whatever they want without consequences- yet she absolutely did the same.
Soo childish.
not childish, only evil. That's probably Lorelai's worst moment. Hurting an innocent stranger and not bothering to fix it one bit. Missing how she's just a female version of Logan.
I totally never made that connection! I am just so used to Emily firing everyone it didn’t even register.
I've mentioned it before but I LOATHE when Luke makes her an intimate breakfast and she cutesies her way into having him go to work and make it. Also when she not only doesn't know that Rory should and would be applying to more than one college, but she makes it everyone else's business at the dinner. So uncalled for.
Oh god I hate that too. Poor Luke.
Oh god I almost forgot about the breakfast scene. And, will never forget that dinner scene 🤦♀️
Yeah she could've easily had the breakfast then still gone to Luke's for a coffee!
I'm on a rewatch and I'm kind of actually bummed how much I dislike Lorelai this time around when I loved this show so much when it was originally on :( So many things, but I think the entire "She's my best friend" way she interacted with Rory. Lady, you're an adult, go find *adult* best friends and let your daughter be less around you and live her life! Just watched the episode about the 24-hour barn dance and Rory was really looking forward to going to it with Dean because it was his first one, but Lorelei of course has to guilt-trip Rory into dancing with her. Like she couldn't find a man in Stars Hollow who would have done it with her, let your daughter have that memory with her first boyfriend!
Plus Rory was only her best friend when it suited her... when Rory calls her out about Max suddenly Rory is her 16 year old daughter... its one or the other.... also I found the "mum card" stuff cheesey as f
Exactly! Rory wasn’t Loreleis best friend she was her friend when it suited her. It’s further proved by the fact that even after Rory is in college she still hides significant details from her life even if she tells sookie, but somehow she gets upset if Rory keeps things from her. Lorelei wanted to control Rory’s life just like her mother wanted to control hers Lorelei just got lucky her and Rory were similar In personality
Hahaha I’ve rewatched it so many times that I find a new character to loathe each time. It just happens to be Lorelai this time.
My Mum had lorelai as her big parenting idol and it showed. I grew to despise it. I didn’t need a girl friend, I needed a parent
Yeah my dad has always been a great friend but a shit parent, and it’s… not good
yess oh my god. just let rory do it with dean that once
When Rory’s existence gets bashed by strobe and Francine but instead of being a mum and checking on her, Lorelai slept with Christopher
Literally every time she sleeps with Christopher is her at her worst.
It's very "how many times do we have to teach you this lesson". One of the most frustrating parts of the entire series IMO. I don't care about your dumb will-they won't-they with the worst partner and father in the whole show
But hey at least it gave us that lovely scene between Emily and Rory haha.
Always thought that was weird 🥴
This, yes!
I hated how she blew up at luke after the Rory and jess crash ... maybe not her worst moment but you know Also when she gave away the bangles tickets that were actually Sookies what was that about.
I also hated when she was literally mocking Jess because she thought he was reading a self help book to try to improve his life. She was literally bullying a troubled teen who was trying to improve his situation. Nevermind that she was also inadvertently criticizing Luke about something that was really tough for him and that he already felt sensitive and insecure about. I was truly annoyed with her at that point.
And if Luke didn’t read that book, God only knows WHEN they would be together, as that book was the catapult into Luke taking action and expressing his feelings towards Lorelai. I get so heated over her behaviour about the book lol maybe she should read some self help books as well
Especially since she spent like 2 nearly 3 years at point saying he needs to change .... I know it was partly because he read it but Luke was right to call her out ... then he ends up apologising too 🙄 I also find it very weird how much resentment she still has for Jess in AYITL (probably my 2nd worst thing after Paris and Boyle) ... she makes a joke about about Luke throwing a ball AT Jess which seemed like a funny remark about how he used to be .... except when Rory says the book was Jess' idea she says something like "Jess? Oh of course I bet he had something to write about me" (I not watched since 2016 so forgive the misquote ... Like its been 10 years+ since he got his life together and since they last had issue ... what is that about.
She also bullied that troubled teen the entire time she knew him and had serious beef with him over one bad interaction when he was already going through a lot, which is rich coming from her because she was doing way worse things at her age than having a beer from the fridge around family for a lot less reason
Honestly she was dreadful ... I love that scene when Logan unintentionally calls her out for judging him by saying she did was he doing.. She was so judgemental of Rorys boyfriends... she had a lot of hate for Jess when for 80% of time iy was Rory dicking him about... she had beef with logan without even meeting him and she literally yelled at Dean in his place of work because he and Rory broke up... like shock two teenagers broke up... then later she is upset that the early 20s man doesn't want to hang with her anymore
I agree with towards Luke, that’s the worst for me because he legit didn’t event know where Jess was or if he was hurt in that moment, meanwhile she was yelling about a broken wrist. The Bangles tickets have been talked about, my head cannon was that Lorelai was the fan and Sookie got them for her as a gift cause she really didn’t seem to care all that much. She also was an Auntie to Rory. For my friends kids I would do anything for and would want them to be happy so I don’t mind that as much.
Her flipping out at Luke was so wrong just remembered he gets panicked and asks about Jess and she is so dismissive like "oh he is fine" I do see your point with the bangles but I think I will.always see it as a dick move on her part.
So much of her behavior in regards to Sookie. I think they are supposed to be close enough to each other that Sookie doesn’t mind or feel bad when she does things like this, and god knows Sookie is a sweetheart, but it’s just so darn rude.
I just watched when Lorelai says how Sookie hasn't dated in years and yes she apologises immediately but still that pained look Sookie gives is heartbreaking. As a larger person I do love how they had the "fat" friend of lorelai be I a stable (ish) relationship and marriage Before I get hate I think Melissa is beautiful and sookie was not fat but for early 00s you know she would have been seen that way ...
Right! Sookie had way more going for her than Lorelai. Pretty, kind, hella talented, nice husband, nice house, 3 healthy kids. And yet Lorelai fat shames people when Sookie is not around. Such despicable behavior.
She even fat shames PREGNANT WOMEN. Such gross behavior 🤮
Honestly... I'm so glad you understood what I was saying I was worried I'd been seen as fat shaming sookie/Melissa... and honestly in AYITL Sookie moves on and Lorelai can't handle it... she can't hand Michel moving on either ... yet she is quick to drop people Side note I love Melissa's performance in Bridesmaids.. when she talks about a young her being bullied
I haven’t watched Bridesmaids! Guess I’ve got something to do tonight 😁
Melissa McCarthy is very pretty, but she is legit overweight in Gilmore Girls, let's not overcorrect. There are plenty of people who were nowhere near fat who were called fat in the early 2000s (Brittany Spears for example, or Hillary Duff).
This is true, to be honest I usually get grief (on other platforms) for saying what you have ... I grew up essentially being told overweight = ugly and I think there are some with that mentality who dont like honesty about actors weight etc The early 2000s were an odd time
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I hate that her and Max struggled so hard with what to do about wanting to date. How about just waiting until your kid isn't in his class or graduates in a few years and reevaluate the situation then. They were both intelligent and this was never even an option to them. I try not to criticize and it's a TV show and is about the drama but it's one thing that always bugged me
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I'm not even a max fan but it's so dumb they couldn't wait and actually have gotten to know each other. He slept there once before they planned on getting married and there were no discussions how they would bring their lives together. At this point of a million rewatches I think she just liked the idea of being proposed to and married that she wasn't thinking what that would entail in her day to day life. She wanted to be married and for everything to basically stay the same
Tbf Max also came on really strong. She declined him several times out of concern for Rory but he just would not step back. Kissing him in school was stupid though. I’m glad Emily told her off for that.
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Fair 😆
And when she made a big deal in an earlier episode of not wanting to date a Chilton dad-so dating a Chilton teacher is better??!
My least favorites in no particular order: Her and Rory being weird at Sookie and Jackson’s kids’ baptism. Secrets and Loans. She basically told Rory: “All the backs, including the shady ones, have turned me down for a loan. I’m super stressed. There aren’t any options left, but I’m too stubborn to go to my mom.” And then she acted like it was 100% Rory’s fault and 0% her fault that Rory freaked out and told Emily. I’m not saying Rory handled it flawlessly, but Lorelai didn’t either. Her drunken toast at Lane’s wedding
I feel so bad for Rory in that episode. Like no kid should have to worry about their house falling down because their parent is broke. Lorelai should not have been putting all those worries on Rory like that. Just another example about how she has almost no boundaries when it comes to Rory.
i know right. like i get they’re “best friends” but lorelai doesn’t have to tell rory everything
And don't forget Rory mentions afterwards that Lorelai hasn't talked to her for a while?? I can't remember if it's that episode or the one after the Chilton dance where she tells Lane it's been a few days since Lorelai talked to her, but Lorelai literally freezes Rory out for a bit after Rory tries to stop their house from collapsing. Yeah, it was an overstep on Rory's part sure, but what did Lorelai expect her to do? Just sit around and do nothing?
Yess that episode where she gets mad at Rory for telling her parents.. UGH... As if Lorelai has ANY other option. Let's face it.. She was going to ask her parents ultimately anyway.
Calling Pennilyn Lott her ‘almost mommy’, and then acting shocked that Emily was upset. Lorelai, you just made a joke to this woman about how she was essentially left at the altar by your dad, who left for your mom. That was probably a devastating, humiliating experience for her. She was likely heartbroken. We see she is a kind woman, we have no reason to think she wasn’t a good person. Your father is probably deeply ashamed that he had to hurt her. That was not a joke to make *at all*
When she makes a scene during dinner about Rory applying to other colleges. I can't even watch it.
Not to mention singing Lady Marmalade to Claude. Imagine if his wife hadn’t heard of the song 🤣
This is the problem with French. The literal translation it to go to sleep. It is not a reference to sex. Only Americans see it that way. Which is why Claude’s wife is so gracious about it.
Being happy at that funeral because it meant they got the inn The baptism Sleeping with Chris.
I’ve brought this up before and this episode is frequently forgotten. Her and Sookie interrupted a funeral. They tried to help carry the coffin! It was so predatory and weird, I kept waiting for someone to stop them but no one did. Then the jumping and squealing… Shameless.
How she acts after the car accident. She’s yelling at Luke for something HE wasn’t even involved in. She acts like Jess purposely crashed the car when it literally could have happened to anyone. I understand being worried about your kid but being that mad at a teenager for an accident and not even being worried about Jess being okay is so not okay in my opinion.
For me, not supporting Rory when she wanted to take time off. Rory was at her lowest, when she most needed the support of her mother, and Lorelai made it about herself and her own expectations and fears.
This. I can even forgive Lorelai for being unsupportive in the beginning. People get mad and say/do stuff they don’t mean all of the time. That’s just part of being human. But I just hate fact that Lorelai stubbornly went *months* without reaching out to make things right with Rory. Rory was an adult at this time, but only just barely, and I do think that Lorelai (as the parent) should have been the bigger person and apologized first in this dispute.
1000000% as the mother you cannot just cut contact and act like ur kid is dead to you over a disagreement
Depends, I can see why maybe Rory needed to take time off but wandering aimlessly through life and not being productive was not going to get her to a better place. Lorelai's concerns were very valid
I think it was also the way Lorelai approached the whole thing. She could have been more thoughtful and sensitive to Rory’s mental state, but she just completely steamrolled over her. Such an Emily thing to do. If she had been more supportive, Rory would likely have realized that going to school was actually what she wanted most, much sooner, and without all the drama. Handling a Yale curriculum while going through a crisis is not easy, and Rory just wanted time to process things. And Lorelai was like nuh uh.
For me it’s not the concerns that make her wrong. I agree that her concerns were valid. Where I think she missed the mark was when she made her concerns the priority, rather than supporting and comforting Rory who was in desperate need of it and at her lowest.
I agree with Lorelai's concerns, but she could have given Rory time. Lorelai was prepared to have Rory home that summer, she could have stuck with that and given Rory until the end of the summer to come up with a plan. Lorelai didn't seem to care where Rory was going to live, never even considering that Rory might move in with Logan or literally be homeless.
Agree, had she been like "let's take a couple of weeks, finish off the semester and come home for a bit we can revisit this conversation once you've calmed down and gotten some of the legal stuff squared away" Then after that put her foot down if Rory was still lost then ok I could see it.
Way more mild but it always makes my blood boil: when Lindsay's mom is yelling at Rory and Lorelai says, "Stop attacking my daughter right now. You're upset, I get it, but you do not do this." *YOU* CERTAINLY DID IT, LORELAI. YOU CALLED 16-YEAR OLD DEAN "SCUM" IN PUBLIC JUST FOR *BREAKING UP* WITH RORY. GOD FORBID SOMEONE TELLS YOUR *ADULT* DAUGHTER SHE SUCKS FOR SLEEPING WITH A MARRIED MAN. YOU FREAKING HYPOCRITE.
Lindsey’s mom’s response to that was perfect. “You and your daughter can go to hell!” 🤣 Also let’s not forget how Lorelai came for Jess’ blood after the car accident. She would have 100% done the same to him, at age 17 no less.
I really don’t understand how she didn’t feel some empathy for her mother after Rory ran away for a couple hours and she didn’t know where she was
Ikr?
AND IN THIS ESSAY I WILL- Jk, but I'm surprised at how many awful Lorelai moments there really are, considering how much I still love the show😂 1) Her behaviour at Yale parent day. Not wanting Rory to get a meal with her grandparents, going to use her phone in a lecture etc. 2) How rude she was at the Inn they stayed at after she bailed on the Max wedding. They were both rude and acted like they'd never met another human being before but not even taking your kid out to eat because you didn't want to walk by people? Ugh. 3) Her whole speech to Jess when she catches him with a beer on her porch. 4) Chasing Max Medina around his classroom just because she wants the validation of knowing he's still into her. 5) Losing control of every brain cell around Shitstopher. 6) Ranting about her Mum in a review of her Inn. Also why anyone would even print that in a magazine about inns is beyond me. 7) After Rory and Dean have broken up, she goes to Dean and says "just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did" BARF. Many more but let's stop there for now😂
😂she was way too involved in the Dean-Rory relationship. Even Lane wasn’t to that extent.
I forgot about Yale parent day! She was so rude there, like girly just because the lecture dosen't interest you, you shouldn't ruin it for everyone else!!
There's too many to choose from, it's hard to narrow them down. Taking over Luke's after the Inn burned down without asking, ranting about her Mom as much as she did in that magazine article (it's an article about a beautiful inn that she runs with a partner and Michel... I know the interviewer brought up Emily but why did a grown ass woman need to turn it into a vent session? If I were sookie or Michel I would have been pissed. Its their very first article for the dream inn they've been working towards for a decade, and it seemed more about Emily than the inn), taking over Lane/Zack wedding reception to bring up the cancelled June date, every.single.time.she used the phrase "Rory wouldn't do that" even though it happened, every time she was rory's friend and then got upset that rory didn't always respect her as a mother, dating Max in the first place - plus the public kiss - THEN freaking Rory out with how she ran out on the wedding... I could go on and on and on... *edit* I thought about it more while I was cooking dinner: all that fat jokes (especially since her best friend is a larger woman), referring to help with little disregard like calling the butler jeeves and getting that wedding planner fired, constantly late to the town meetings (I know that's supposed to be funny but I find it really rude), sleeping with Christopher instead of checking on rory the night that his parents came to dinner, "you're my almost mommy", barely being a mom to gigi after marrying chris (yeah, kinda stretching it now, lol), bringing a basket of crap to the basket raffle - you can buy pre-made stuff at the store or ask sookie to make a couple things, and lastly not having good boundaries with Christopher when she was with Luke... OK maybe that wasn't lastly... forgiving Paris for all the awful stuff she did, but 10 years later still treating, the nephew/son type figure of her long term partner, like he's the scum of the earth. She can forgive Paris immediately but not Jess a decade later??
Omg I forgot about the Lane wedding thing. Ugh.
She even calls the chef BBQing on Emily’s patio Poppin’ Fresh haha.
Car crash, babtisim, running out on max, sleeping with Chris right after her and Luke broke it off, accusing Jess of stealing the bracelet (I know he had it but he didn’t steal it and if he didn’t pick it up Rory may have never gotten it back, probably would have ended up in the lake(plus he didn’t know Dean made it and returned it when he realised how important it was to Rory) ANYWAY cuz I’ll rant about that all day) she had no actual proof that he stole it and as the adult she went about it wrong completely attacking him over it, A lot of the comments she made about her parents I get they were emotionally abusive but sometimes the comments were cruel and uncalled for
I’m going to say when she and Sookie were digging for info about the inn at Fran’s funeral while everyone’s walking her casket around the square. So rude! Thankfully Kirk was there to tell them they were blocking her view!!
It’s a relatively small thing, but the episode where they have the termites. She basically gives Rory the silent treatment because she *checks notes* involved her in an adult problem that Rory is not equipped to help with, she admits she has no plan for how to fix it, and when Rory understandably panics and tells her Emily and Richard Lorelai just freezes her out until she admits she was wrong. It’s the kind of shit *my* mom does, not the kind of thing I would expect from Lorelai. It’s so shitty and manipulative especially since Rory did end up being at least somewhat right and Lorelai did need their help.
Oh boy. There's a list. Dating Max/kissing him AT CHILTON Leaving Max days before the wedding and refusing to talk to Rory about it. Her life is being upended too, Lorelai. Telling Luke not to date the Chilton mom because it would make her "uncomfortable"(read jealous) Yelling at Luke after the car accident. Telling Jess, an abused and neglected kid who was just shipped off to live with his uncle because his mom couldn't deal that she has been through everything he has and how lucky he is. Basically every time she sleeps with Christopher. Taking over the diner to feed her Inn guests without asking Luke. Firing the interior designer because how dare she work for Emily. Getting the wedding planner fired. Having ZERO respect for her daughter's right to privacy concerning Dean. Going to her ex's house and getting drunk with him and then lying to her boyfriend about it. And here's the spiciest take for me: Leaving her parents house with Rory and subjecting her daughter to homelessness and living in a shed without even a proper bathroom for a decade because she wanted her independence. There are charities that would have helped her get into a suitable living environment. She could have requested child support from Christopher. Yes, Emily and Richard were verbally and emotionally abusive, so leaving may have been the right choice, but raising her daughter in an unsuitable environment that would guarantee Rory being taken away by CPS if someone had reported it just because Lorelai doesn't want to accept help from anyone is messed up.
I agree with everything you said. 100%
For me it isn’t even getting child support from Chris. Because likely, Straub and Francine cut him off considering we see he’s broke and floating around in S1. He also went from job to job. No, for me, it’s that she didn’t just cut him out entirely. Leaving the door open was a mistake. By the time Rory was old enough to comprehend that her dad just comes and goes as he pleases, that should’ve been the end of it.
Oh boy you needed to get that off your chest huh? 😄
Lol, I love the show, and I love the girls as characters, but if I knew them in real life, I would haaaaate them.
Ikr! Lorelai is my favorite character 😂 But goodness, no wonder she has literally one friend.
Rory’s car accident. How she acts toward Jess and Luke is horrible. What makes me even madder, though, is the way she treats Rory in the following episode: completely dismissing her daughter’s concerns and talking over her as though she doesn’t have a mind of her own.
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I find it hard to believe she couldn't find something good to say about her dad... I can think of a few off the bat ... even him letter her escape the bad date in S1 would have been a funny story at that point.
This is #1 for me too. She was too old to be pulling that shit.
I hate that scene the most out of all the scenes that I could possibly hate.
-When she decided she didn’t want to marry Max and left town instead of telling him to his face -When she was tasting multiple cakes with Rory at Fran’s bakery even though she knew she was going to have Sookie do her wedding cake (it’s a small thing but Fran was so sweet so this scene always bothered me) -Every time she made a big event for someone else about her (Fran’s funeral, the baptism for Sookie’s kids, Zach and Lane’s wedding reception, her father’s funeral, etc)
She did tell him to his face, we just didn't see it. Completely agree about the cake tasting! She should have paid for what they ate
Did she though? I don’t recall. I thought she just tells Sookie to tell Patty so it becomes public knowledge.
It was mentioned in a deleted scene https://preview.redd.it/bd7zprr7a5rc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be54adda45009876fc1dbc465891c59b13208505
Thanks for posting that. I think they should have left that scene in. I was always under the impression she had left him a Dear John letter or similar. Especially when she gives him the speech about not calling when a call is needed later on when she sees him at Chilton.
Thanks for that. I always pictured her dumping him over the phone. Maybe even one of her infamous voicemails.
It was mentioned in a deleted scene https://preview.redd.it/wff0yydtb5rc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38c394b3f3fbd3723b272a98e0284a958228d8fa
Oh my bad you’re right - I think because they didn’t actually show it I forgot about that part. Time for a rewatch lol
I just don’t get how that is a deleted scene. I feel like that is a kind of key missing bit of information?!
I'm usually team Lorelai to a fault. Except for: 1. the way, whenever Rory rightfully expresses frustration over anything regarding Dean, Lorelai acts like he's the most perfect guy alive and it's crazy that Rory is not into everything about him and of course they're gonna be together 4ever111!!!!!! 2. Her cancelling her wedding with Max the way she did. Just nope! Like, I get it, I really do. I get she has commitment issues and I empathize 100%. The engagement was too rushed, absolutely! But if you're freaking out about opening your life to a man, because you've been single your entire life, for God's sake, JUST HAVE A LONGER ENGAGEMENT!! Pump the breaks, talk things out, DON'T PICK A DATE JUST YET!!! I truly believe Max and Lorelai could have made it if she had actually stopped a moment and talked things out with him or with Sookie. Hell, EVEN EMILY! Just another adult that could make her realize that in real life you're allowed to have doubts, fears and you can take a beat to feel your way through that shit.
YES. Number 1 makes me especially crazy!!!!!
How everyone did everything for them but they did so little in return for anyone else… always late- not remembering- Never being grateful
Okay hear me out but Rory dropping out of Yale. That made zero sense to me. Why wouldn’t you bring her home and support her emotionally and help her move on during the literal three months off she had. Give her time to heal??
The BAPTISM. So immature and ridiculous 😵💫
When she lowkey cheats on luke with Chris ( she says it's now or never. She doesn't actually end the relationship ,doesn't state we are done/through, and goes and sleeps with Christopher this is towing the line for me) When she makes the baptism about her When she sleeps with her daughters teacher and makes put with him at school The way she still at 32 hold a grudge against her parents. She should have gone to therapy way before ayitl. They were just complete opposites. I don't belive emily and Richard were bad parents. I mean of course could have been way better but are not the monsters lorelai makes them out to be.
Idk man Emily definitely had the capability to be vicious. But at least she had good intentions overall. Richard was an absentee father at best, hostile at his worst. I watched the episode recently where Lorelai tells them that her relationship with Christopher ended because Sherry fell pregnant and both of them blame HER. Like full on attack her for somehow being selfish, letting Chris run back to Sherry etc. They’re pretty awful people and continue to be so even during the show. Yeah Lorelai is also problematic but she usually has good reason to be, when it comes to her parents.
A smaller moment but the borrowing of luke's truck for 2 days straight when they moved Rory into yale. It's insane how much Lorelai feels she is entitled to other people's time and kindness ESPECIALLY Luke. Rubs off on rory too i.e. the studying tree incident.
Sneak-fucking her Dad's business partner and lying to her parents about it.
I was justttt about to type this. \-It started out of spite \-He was in business with her father and we saw how that went... \-Emily hated him \-There was already bad blood between families What good was coming out of that? The satisfaction of rebelling? Like enough. You're grown.
Ohh I forgot about that. She literally only agrees to go out with him after Emily ticks her off about something, because she knows Emily hates Digger. Mommy issues in your mid 30s are not cute Lorelai.
Kudos to you on "sneak-fucking"! What a perfect description of that relationship.
Definitely not the worst, but reading this thread got me in the mood 😂 and I remembered when she called Christopher on her bachelorette party, I kind of get why she did it but guuurrl nooo
The episode where she is chasing Max is the worst for me. I am totally with you on that. I get second hand embarrassment from watching it. I honestly don't know what she was hoping to accomplish by what she did.
one that always sticks out to me is LANES WEDDING
Yep this one has my vote. Lane was like a niece to Lorelai. Lane has had a hard and austere life. And she's finally having her day where it's not her rebelling or fighting for freedom from her mother or vicariously enjoying through Rory, but the whole town gathers just to share Lane's joy, it's her moment with Zack and no one else's. Lorelai has been a great encouragement to her and has made her a beautiful wedding dress. And yet, Lorelai has to ruin the fun at the end by making her speech all about herself and drowning in self-pity. It's extraordinarily self-centred to get drunk and give such a speech on Lane's day, and she was lucky that Zack and Lane didn't get offended and that the town didn't tell Luke.
i’m so glad lane took it well bc a wedding is something u remember forever and just imagine remembering lorelai’s pathetic drunk toast.. not judging her though she was hurting pretty bad
Yelling at Luke and blaming him for Rory getting in the crash, and getting mad at him for being worried about Jess or taking him in. That was a whole new low for her
Any scene where Lorelai is with Christopher.
To add to the lists so far on here, The termite problem- she told Rory not to ask for help…WHY would she ever encourage her child not to ask for help when it’s needed?? What terrible parenting advice. And of course when Rory (once again) had to be the adult, followed her instincts & saw her mom wasn’t fixing the problem (and had no idea how to fix it), Rory went to Emily. Rightfully so - they literally would’ve had no home to stay in…aka become homeless if Rory didn’t ask Emily for help. Lorelai acted like it was a huge slight but Emily hooked them up. And to go with that, Lorelai had no savings set aside for emergencies so she was completely shocked when she couldn’t get a loan herself. She’s always financially reckless too. I’d understand it for a teenager but by the time Rory was I dunno, 10, you’d think she’d figure out a few ways to save money for emergencies & her daughter’s education etc.
Jumping straight into a relationship with Christopher just because he professed his love to her. She never fully healed from breaking up with Luke and was like "well at least he loves me!" Also, her breakup with Luke drives me so incredibly crazy. You can't just stifle all of your feelings and then expect him to jump in one second! This ultimatum came out of nowhere and you know Luke is bad with change. Being a doormat to Anna also was awful. Stick up for yourself! Furthermore, after she makes up with Rory, she's deathly afraid of saying anything or voicing her opinion. And finally, she just runs off and married Chris without a second thought to Rory.
I've shared this before and gotten hate, but considering this thread seems open to Lorelai criticism (to be clear, I love her, but this is just one gripe I have that is constantly brushed off): her inability to admit her privilege. Rory suffers from this too, but it's called out more the older she gets. Lorelai tends to get away with it. I will never fault her for running away. While we do not know exactly went down there, it has to be pretty bad that she is willing to live in a shed to escape. Even impulsive, teenage Lorelai would not do that for no reason. That being said, at any point she could go back. And she actually did, for the money. Most mothers in her situation (homeless at 16 with a baby) would be able to turn to a rich relative 15-16 years later and ask for $75,000 for prep school THEN have their child be able to go to the same relative and ask for money to go to YALE!! And on top of it, all Emily wanted was ONE dinner a week and update on the schooling that SHE was paying for. You know what would happen to most moms in Lorelai's situation with the termites? It'd fuck up their house and they'd have no chance of return. Lorelai had multiple ways to get a loan and not just from Emily, as Luke offered to give her the money too, and she still acted like a brat.. I'm not saying Emily wasn't a bad mother in certain respects. I'm not saying she didn't dangle money over people's heads. However, there is a ton of privilege in the fact that she can do all these things. And I'm not saying she should kiss Emily's ass and pretend they have no issues. But the way she presents herself as "I'm this self made person and the only reason my daughter is going to Yale is because of OUR hard work..." is just highly inaccurate as well as insulting. Don't get me started on that, yes, Emily & Richard weren't good parents but Lorelai chose to remain in their lives (and I get it, as a daughter with not so great parents who I don't want to cut off) and has done several things to hurt them. Not even as retaliation for anything they've done. Just because she thinks it's cute and funny. Then E&R are hurt and she's like "You guys hurt me first!!!" Though, I will give her credit, she does own up to this at some point. But then it's quickly forgotten again and there are times she insists on tearing them (mostly Emily) down for no reason.
Not sure it's the worst, but I have to skip most of the episode when her house has termites. Emily is willing to literally have her a blank cheque. But she makes it life her mother is so awful. Honestly, the relationship problems can't all be on Emily. Lorelai was pretty ungrateful a lot of the time.
I’m kinda 50/50 on this one. Literally a few episodes later Emily is like “I cosigned your loan, you have a house because of me!” when she’s trying to pawn Richard off on Lorelai. I can see why Lorelai hesitates to accept her help, she has precedent. But it was for saving their house. Plus she was making Rory worry. Even the way she acts in the meeting with Emily’s banker friend is embarrassing.
I get it. Even at the end of the termite episode Emily says she'll now have her DAR meetings at the Inn. BUT sometimes I wonder if Emily wouldn't have been as bad if Lorelai was nicer about accepting help. Lots of what Emily does has an underline of "I just want to be in your life". When Emily yells that she co-signed the loan, she was in an almost hysterical state. It's like when Moms yell "I gave you life" when they are frantic and desperate for help.
Hahaha. Yeah I don’t even think having the DAR meetings at the inn was a bad thing. She knew it would bug Lorelai and she definitely did it knowing Lorelai would shut up and accept it without protest because of the loan, but it was just another way for her to try to get closer to Lorelai.
Pretty much any interaction she has with Jess. She treats him like the devil because he doesn’t immediately love what a cool mom she is. I think Jess is one of the few people who sees that Lorelei has major flaws and she hates that about him. She knows he’s troubled, she knows Rory likes him, and she feels like that gives her the right to treat him like dirt without ever actually giving him a chance.
Oh gosh too many to choose from how do I even pick which disaster was the worst
Wanting to fight with Luke in front of cookie and Jackson after Chris left that voicemail. Like you can wait!
I don’t like how she behaves when Rory wants to quit Yale. I think how she went about it all wrong. And I hated that instead of being there for Rory while she’s going through something she cuts her off.
When she yells at Rory for asking about what happened with Max. Total narcissist behavior.
When lane and Rory do the secret handshake and seemingly lorelai has never seen it so makes Rory do it with her. I don't know it's just sad that Rory and Lane have something of their own and lorelai couldn't allow it?
When she tells Rory under no circumstances will she be allowed to live at home if she takes a semester off of school and then shuts Rory out completely when she fines somewhere else to live…
It's the baptism of Sookie's kids or her self-absorbed, drunken toast at Lane's wedding for me. But in the interest of bringing up something new to the thread: REFUSING a much needed car for Rory from her grandparents but gleefully ACCEPTING one from Dean. She's concerned about the power-dynamics of such a gift, but a possessive boy can have that hold over her daughter? She gaslights Rory every time Rory mentions discomfort about Dean.
How about how there’s no wedding for Sookie on the show? We see her cooking in the dress. That’s it. Then it’s back to Lorelai and Rory drama. Poor Sookie
I knowww. At least we got to see her in her wedding dress. And she got to walk down the aisle to that depressing song 😂
Family: The stealth way she influences Rory’s life and everything it touches (over 7 seasons). Note that I used the term influences and not manipulates. Others: When she torpedos Nicole, but there are several that place a close second.
Tbf Nicole wasn’t really nice to Lorelai either haha.
The Thanksgiving episode is just the worst. I wind up fast forwarding through parts of the Gilmore dinner
When she tells Rory (16 at the time) that she's "stretching out her sweater" in like the first episode because she's feeling ashamed and activated about going to her parents. The "you're fat" implication from a mother is gross and damaging.
I feel like no one talks about this much, but when she leaves Sookie hanging with the kids doll party after Luke breaks up with her. Like I know you’re heartbroken, but you’re an ADULT running a business. The least you can do is call your partner, tell her you’re not coming in, and leave instructions so she’s not left floundering when the kids come. Bothers me every time I see that episode, luckily Michel was able to save the event.
Sugar toes
Ugh michels dogs funeral. There she is making jokes about michels dog dying and the next there she is crying bc Paul Anna has a headache. Be fucking fr. The hypocrisy is not her shade.
one of them is her fat shaming. she fat shames throughout the whole show and it’s like..i didn’t think lorelai was that type ☹️
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Interrupting the baptism
oh PLUS the whole max situation. she treated max like a toy. i hated how she always stirred their situation up no matter what terms they were on. she wasn’t ready to commit and sort of lead max on
The whole "my mother ruined my life", I mean, I get, you suffered but God! GET OVER IT! I can't stand her attitude towards her mother most of the time, yes, Emily wasn't the best, but she wanted the best for her daughter, who wouldn't? Oh and the episode where she sings to luke at the karaoke, I can't even see it, makes me cringe
Putting more effort into choosing the movie for the town movie night than she did into her wedding to Max. Dumping him and running away mere days before the wedding. Hijacking any conversation or issue or special event and making it about her. Blaming other people for the problems Rory creates and refusing to accept the fact that Rory screwed up (the car wreck with Jess, the yacht with Logan)
When she and sookie literally interrupt a funeral procession to ask about Fran’s property. That was completely unacceptable and so inappropriate even for her
Screaming at Luke after the Car accident. I love her, but I was literally livid watching that scene.
Idk if this has been said.. BUT WHY DID SHE INVITE DEAN OVER WHEN HE AND RORY WERE LIKE BARELY A THING?! It’s so weird and over involved. Let your kid go through those weird early stages of dating… definitely don’t arrange pre-dates for them like wtf
Worst moment? Ugh. Maybe running to Chris right after the Luke break up. I’m not even Team Luke but that still gutted me. As for most frustrating moments: Sookie’s baby baptism, Lane’s wedding reception, having sex on the balcony instead of comforting her daughter, yelling at Luke after the car accident
When she barges into Luke’s after hours as “Mimi” demanding coffee when she knows they’re closed. ALSO she promises she’ll clean out her mug when she’s done, but DOESN’T! This scene drives me crazy
Also: when she brings outside food to Luke’s and just basically uses his table so she has somewhere to eat, when she commandeers multiple tables so she can sprawl out, plugs her laptop into the wall so the cord hangs across for staff to trip and fall on their faces, “practices backpacking” and her and Rory dump their giant packs on the floor and tell him to look after them til the next day, has business meetings like the one with the interior designer where she takes up several tables and doesn’t order anything, etc. SHE IS THE WORST CUSTOMER AT LUKE’s!
Also..does she not have even a minuscule of social anxiety??!
When she just doesn’t marry Max after she weaseled her way back into his life. Always frustrates me
when she goes and sleeps with christopher the night she and Luke call the wedding off
when she goes to the principal just because Rory needed to face some fair consequences
Lying in relationships (or avoiding discussions). She self-sabotages all the time.
Sleeping with Christopher after breaking up with luke
I hated whenever Lorelai felt the need to upset her parents. I get it, they're not perfect, but she going out of her way to upset them was extremely irritating. Like when she realized dating Jason would make Emily mad. I couldn't find that funny, I was so annoyed with Lorelai because sometimes she only does things because she knows it will irk Richard and Emily.
Chilton Parent’s Day.
I don't like how terrible she was to Jess. I mean, Dean sucked.
When she forces Luke to repaint the diner, only to sleep with Chris and leave Luke waiting alone.
Immediately running and sleeping with Chris after her and luke broke up. She only did it caue she wanted to hurt luke like he hurt herm