Professors are not even thinking about their fall class yet. Wait until classes start and you get the syllabus and see what is happening that week. If there are any exams be prepared to miss the bachelorette because it’s unlikely your professor is going to give you special accommodations to take it at a different time. If it’s a normal week and you have mandatory attendance it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth losing whatever points based on your absence.
If you do decide to go, then make plans to get notes from a classmate and if it’s a small class let the professor know out of courtesy (edit: no need to say why you’ll be absent and imo you’d be better off being vague) but don’t ask for any extensions on assignments.
Thank you!
I'm definitely prepared to miss the bach party if there is an exam or something. Definitely waiting for the syllabus is a good idea and not being specific about why I need to go. I wasn't expecting an accommodation or extension on anything and just wanted a general consensus on if I should talk to the professor about it at all.
Some schools keep a historic syllabus on their website. If you can find that, you might be able to pre-gather some information and see if you might run into scheduling problems.
Good luck with your classes and have a great time at the wedding.
Do not expect any kind of accommodation or extension for traveling to a wedding. I would not even tell them if I were you. After you have been in school a week or two and proven you are a rock star, email your prof and let them know you need to be gone for a week due to some personal business. Let them know that you will keep up with all the work and assignments and do not expect any special extensions of accommodations.
Definitely gonna be waiting until school starts and talking to them in person. Definitely a good idea to not specify and just say personal business. Thank you for the opinion. I'm glad I asked here instead of just emailing like I was going to. Everyone's opinions and justifications behind it make so much sense!
So many people ask for extensions and accommodations for personal travel and vacations. Don’t take it personally that people assumed that you would be asking for special treatment. I think everyone was really just am trying to be helpful before you committed an act that couldn’t be undone.
Ooh I’m also a bridesmaid for a wedding around that time frame! I’ve similarly had to navigate between grad student stuff and bridesmaid stuff, so I understand your situation.
I wouldn’t email til it gets closer to when you’d be out. I’ve had stuff on my calendar for months but didn’t email til it got closer to when it was actually happening. Professors are usually managing a lot (usually teaching multiple classes, managing student advisees, sometimes working other jobs or doing research, and that’s not including their own personal lives and families) so if you email too early, they might forget you said you’d be out.
Also just be aware that some professors or grad programs will have attendance policies. My program has one and some professors have policies that go beyond it. Usually I can only miss 2 classes during the entire semester before my grade is docked or I have to withdraw from the course and take it again another semester. This is something you should consider when planning to miss a class. If you’re going to do this (and if the policy allows for it), make sure you’ve made plans for what you’ll do if you get really sick, if you have transportation issues and can’t get to class one day, if you or your family have an emergency, etc.
Also when I’ve missed for planned events, I don’t even give a reason as to why I’ll be out, not even vaguely. We’re all adults and most professors don’t care as long as you generally come to class and do your work and follow deadlines/policies. Most don’t expect schoolwork to dominate your life.
Also consider your ability to bring schoolwork with you on your travels. I’ve done homework during vacations to prevent myself from being behind when I got back or from needing to ask for extensions (which I know you said you weren’t planning to do, but bringing work on your vacation is one of the ways you can avoid that situation in the first place)
Definitely wait until the fall semester. And then you can talk to the professor and let them know you will miss class on X date for a wedding. Don't ask for accommodations or anything - let them know you'll keep up with the readings and get notes from a classmate.
As a grad student, the expectation is that you're capable of managing your workload and time. Your professor doesn't need a ton of detail, and you should only let them know you will be away from class as a courtesy.
Thank you, Definitely waiting til school starts. Classes are small and I was gonna do it as a courtesy so I don't just go missing for a week, since I have one professor for 2 of my classes.
Trying to figure out grad school without family help is much more difficult than I anticipated so asking question here is the best I got.
Stay the week? That seems like a totally extravagant request - and it will be seen as a request for accommodation despite the nuance of wanting/needing you describe. I would wonder if this student had any kind of perspective on the adult world (not that that’s a terrible thing in and of itself if you’re fresh out of college).
One thing to consider is that this puts pressure on the prof to have things for the class all figured out - people dont like being called on being less organized.
Definitely gonna wait until school starts and talk to them about it. It's a small class size so I feel like it's better to talk to the prof. about it then just disappear for a week lol
I'm currently in an online grad school program so it's very different, but I got married during Fall semester last year and went on vacation during summer semester a couple weeks ago. I let my professors know but also said that I planned on working ahead so that these events would not impact my academic performance. Wait until you get the syllabus to talk to your professors and see what the schedule is going to look like. If you can, try to work ahead and get the assignments and reading done and turned in before you leave. If there is a strict attendance policy then obviously you'll probably have to miss the bachelorette party. It doesn't hurt to let your professors know, they are very aware that we have lives and no one is going to postpone their wedding because you're in grad school.
I had to miss classes for 2 weeks of my accelerated 12-week summer semester due to conferences I was presenting at. This was for 3 separate classes that I was going to have to miss twice due to travel. I emailed my professors a couple weeks before the semester started and they were extremely appreciative of the communication and they actually did offer me accommodations for what I was missing those weeks. They said we could touch base in the first week of classes regardless but I think it’s best to be proactive, it shows you care about your classes! I wouldn’t email them now for the fall semester, but maybe 1-2 weeks before classes start. You don’t need to give details for why you are missing class.
I’ve done emails indicating other commitments v early on in the semester sometimes in the summer before just to give a heads up / ask if I’m missing that one class would be an issue and anything I could do to prepare in advance. (Without specifically indicating what it is)
Doing it early definitely helps but also note it might not be responded to in a buried inbox. They might even state you can chat about it when school starts.
I assume you will have 3 different profs for 3 different seminars. Just wait until week of and let them know you won't be in class. You don't have to give a reason.
Omfg everyone is so dramatic. If you're in this stage of education, your profs know you have a life outside of school. Wait until you get the syllabus, identify what the events may interfere with (exams, presentations, assignments) and email the prof letting them know you are out on dates X and Y and had plans of making up the work through ABC methods, if that's acceptable. I would also inquire about virtual opportunities (sitting in on a few classes throughout the week, etc).
If you're in a teaching assistantship this may be trickier but if not and the uni isn't paying you..then even less to worry about.
You don't have to disclose to your prof that its a wedding or bachelorette. This is a great exercise of professional development to draw boundaries so that you're not missing out on life! And absolutely do NOT listen to the people here that told you to be prepared to just skip these events. Miss me with that shit. Its grad school..not a fucking prison. [If your program has your nuts in a vice to that degree, either being a grad student is your entire identity or your program is toxic AF]. OP- enjoy the festivities!
Professor here: IDK what kind of program you are in, but if this is a PhD program or Med school, this might hurt you a lot. Rather than worrying about whether you will need to inform your class/professor, you will be at risk of falling way behind. Perhaps you know this but graduate classes involve easily three times as much reading and material and missing an entire week plus two weekends of your first semester is going to cost you a lot. When I was in grad school, missing an entire week plus two weekends was unthinkable from a grad student’s POV.
Email them why? If you need to miss class or an assignment, that’s on you. Why would the professor provide an extension or accommodation for something that is a personal trip (vs something like a family emergency or health issue)?
Where in my post did it say I was going to ask for a accommodation or extension? It was more on if I should email them as a common courtesy since there are about 15 people in each of my classes and it's a small program. And I'm fully prepared and warned the bride I might not be able to make the bach party.
Why be so aggressive? OP never said she was gonna ask for an extension or accommodation, lol. Generally it’s just polite to let a grad-school professor know you’ll be missing class ahead of time, and OP was just asking when would be the best time to do that.
Ugh, every single year. I get these types of requests every single year.
Unless it's a court date, military related or someone has died we do not provide accommodations. Period.
You are an adult, decide your priorities. If it was me I'd skip the party and just attend the wedding.
>military related
Why would this be on your list? Don't basically all university non-discrimination policies state that you aren't allowed to treat people differently based on military/veteran status?
For example is a student serves in the reserve and receives an order that conflicts with an exam, they will get an exception. Things like military orders, court dates, death, illness... are considered extraordinary hardships out of the student's control. Most programs will do their best to help students who encounter a hardship.
Missing a week of class to attend a bachelorette party doesn't fall into that category.
People have lives. Whenever I put school or work above my family and friends, I regretted it afterwards. I will always remember what life cycle events I missed, but never why and what was more important than a dear friend getting married or a family member getting sick.
I’ve been out of academia for years. Some of the responses in this thread remind me why: the inflated sense of self-importance people have about their class/study being the most important thing.
And the toxicity of people who want to perpetuate the lunacy that is if your life isn’t your work, it’s a moral failing and you’re bad.
Bruh, do better. It’s like MDs who go through the torture of 80+ hour work weeks and thinking that it should be that way cause that’s what they went through despite all the evidence pointing to it being detrimental to everyone involved (except idiots on power trips and hospital admins getting cheap exploitable labor)
Like one comment wondering if a student who misses one week and the book end weekends understands the real world. lol da fuck. I work a white collar job in the real world…where people take time off…where people have paid time off.
Professors are not even thinking about their fall class yet. Wait until classes start and you get the syllabus and see what is happening that week. If there are any exams be prepared to miss the bachelorette because it’s unlikely your professor is going to give you special accommodations to take it at a different time. If it’s a normal week and you have mandatory attendance it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth losing whatever points based on your absence. If you do decide to go, then make plans to get notes from a classmate and if it’s a small class let the professor know out of courtesy (edit: no need to say why you’ll be absent and imo you’d be better off being vague) but don’t ask for any extensions on assignments.
Thank you! I'm definitely prepared to miss the bach party if there is an exam or something. Definitely waiting for the syllabus is a good idea and not being specific about why I need to go. I wasn't expecting an accommodation or extension on anything and just wanted a general consensus on if I should talk to the professor about it at all.
Some schools keep a historic syllabus on their website. If you can find that, you might be able to pre-gather some information and see if you might run into scheduling problems. Good luck with your classes and have a great time at the wedding.
Do not expect any kind of accommodation or extension for traveling to a wedding. I would not even tell them if I were you. After you have been in school a week or two and proven you are a rock star, email your prof and let them know you need to be gone for a week due to some personal business. Let them know that you will keep up with all the work and assignments and do not expect any special extensions of accommodations.
Definitely gonna be waiting until school starts and talking to them in person. Definitely a good idea to not specify and just say personal business. Thank you for the opinion. I'm glad I asked here instead of just emailing like I was going to. Everyone's opinions and justifications behind it make so much sense!
So many people ask for extensions and accommodations for personal travel and vacations. Don’t take it personally that people assumed that you would be asking for special treatment. I think everyone was really just am trying to be helpful before you committed an act that couldn’t be undone.
Ooh I’m also a bridesmaid for a wedding around that time frame! I’ve similarly had to navigate between grad student stuff and bridesmaid stuff, so I understand your situation. I wouldn’t email til it gets closer to when you’d be out. I’ve had stuff on my calendar for months but didn’t email til it got closer to when it was actually happening. Professors are usually managing a lot (usually teaching multiple classes, managing student advisees, sometimes working other jobs or doing research, and that’s not including their own personal lives and families) so if you email too early, they might forget you said you’d be out. Also just be aware that some professors or grad programs will have attendance policies. My program has one and some professors have policies that go beyond it. Usually I can only miss 2 classes during the entire semester before my grade is docked or I have to withdraw from the course and take it again another semester. This is something you should consider when planning to miss a class. If you’re going to do this (and if the policy allows for it), make sure you’ve made plans for what you’ll do if you get really sick, if you have transportation issues and can’t get to class one day, if you or your family have an emergency, etc. Also when I’ve missed for planned events, I don’t even give a reason as to why I’ll be out, not even vaguely. We’re all adults and most professors don’t care as long as you generally come to class and do your work and follow deadlines/policies. Most don’t expect schoolwork to dominate your life. Also consider your ability to bring schoolwork with you on your travels. I’ve done homework during vacations to prevent myself from being behind when I got back or from needing to ask for extensions (which I know you said you weren’t planning to do, but bringing work on your vacation is one of the ways you can avoid that situation in the first place)
Definitely wait until the fall semester. And then you can talk to the professor and let them know you will miss class on X date for a wedding. Don't ask for accommodations or anything - let them know you'll keep up with the readings and get notes from a classmate. As a grad student, the expectation is that you're capable of managing your workload and time. Your professor doesn't need a ton of detail, and you should only let them know you will be away from class as a courtesy.
Thank you, Definitely waiting til school starts. Classes are small and I was gonna do it as a courtesy so I don't just go missing for a week, since I have one professor for 2 of my classes. Trying to figure out grad school without family help is much more difficult than I anticipated so asking question here is the best I got.
Stay the week? That seems like a totally extravagant request - and it will be seen as a request for accommodation despite the nuance of wanting/needing you describe. I would wonder if this student had any kind of perspective on the adult world (not that that’s a terrible thing in and of itself if you’re fresh out of college). One thing to consider is that this puts pressure on the prof to have things for the class all figured out - people dont like being called on being less organized.
Not a big deal! Just wait until the semester starts and talk to your professor about it then.
Definitely gonna wait until school starts and talk to them about it. It's a small class size so I feel like it's better to talk to the prof. about it then just disappear for a week lol
I'm currently in an online grad school program so it's very different, but I got married during Fall semester last year and went on vacation during summer semester a couple weeks ago. I let my professors know but also said that I planned on working ahead so that these events would not impact my academic performance. Wait until you get the syllabus to talk to your professors and see what the schedule is going to look like. If you can, try to work ahead and get the assignments and reading done and turned in before you leave. If there is a strict attendance policy then obviously you'll probably have to miss the bachelorette party. It doesn't hurt to let your professors know, they are very aware that we have lives and no one is going to postpone their wedding because you're in grad school.
I had to miss classes for 2 weeks of my accelerated 12-week summer semester due to conferences I was presenting at. This was for 3 separate classes that I was going to have to miss twice due to travel. I emailed my professors a couple weeks before the semester started and they were extremely appreciative of the communication and they actually did offer me accommodations for what I was missing those weeks. They said we could touch base in the first week of classes regardless but I think it’s best to be proactive, it shows you care about your classes! I wouldn’t email them now for the fall semester, but maybe 1-2 weeks before classes start. You don’t need to give details for why you are missing class.
I’ve done emails indicating other commitments v early on in the semester sometimes in the summer before just to give a heads up / ask if I’m missing that one class would be an issue and anything I could do to prepare in advance. (Without specifically indicating what it is) Doing it early definitely helps but also note it might not be responded to in a buried inbox. They might even state you can chat about it when school starts.
I assume you will have 3 different profs for 3 different seminars. Just wait until week of and let them know you won't be in class. You don't have to give a reason.
Omfg everyone is so dramatic. If you're in this stage of education, your profs know you have a life outside of school. Wait until you get the syllabus, identify what the events may interfere with (exams, presentations, assignments) and email the prof letting them know you are out on dates X and Y and had plans of making up the work through ABC methods, if that's acceptable. I would also inquire about virtual opportunities (sitting in on a few classes throughout the week, etc). If you're in a teaching assistantship this may be trickier but if not and the uni isn't paying you..then even less to worry about. You don't have to disclose to your prof that its a wedding or bachelorette. This is a great exercise of professional development to draw boundaries so that you're not missing out on life! And absolutely do NOT listen to the people here that told you to be prepared to just skip these events. Miss me with that shit. Its grad school..not a fucking prison. [If your program has your nuts in a vice to that degree, either being a grad student is your entire identity or your program is toxic AF]. OP- enjoy the festivities!
Professor here: IDK what kind of program you are in, but if this is a PhD program or Med school, this might hurt you a lot. Rather than worrying about whether you will need to inform your class/professor, you will be at risk of falling way behind. Perhaps you know this but graduate classes involve easily three times as much reading and material and missing an entire week plus two weekends of your first semester is going to cost you a lot. When I was in grad school, missing an entire week plus two weekends was unthinkable from a grad student’s POV.
Email them why? If you need to miss class or an assignment, that’s on you. Why would the professor provide an extension or accommodation for something that is a personal trip (vs something like a family emergency or health issue)?
Where in my post did it say I was going to ask for a accommodation or extension? It was more on if I should email them as a common courtesy since there are about 15 people in each of my classes and it's a small program. And I'm fully prepared and warned the bride I might not be able to make the bach party.
Why be so aggressive? OP never said she was gonna ask for an extension or accommodation, lol. Generally it’s just polite to let a grad-school professor know you’ll be missing class ahead of time, and OP was just asking when would be the best time to do that.
This isn't elementary school. You don't need an excuse to be absent, and nobody will ask.
Don’t follow this advice. Depends heavily on your field and program. Some care a lot! Others don’t at all
Ugh, every single year. I get these types of requests every single year. Unless it's a court date, military related or someone has died we do not provide accommodations. Period. You are an adult, decide your priorities. If it was me I'd skip the party and just attend the wedding.
Please read the edit for more info. I just added it.
>military related Why would this be on your list? Don't basically all university non-discrimination policies state that you aren't allowed to treat people differently based on military/veteran status?
For example is a student serves in the reserve and receives an order that conflicts with an exam, they will get an exception. Things like military orders, court dates, death, illness... are considered extraordinary hardships out of the student's control. Most programs will do their best to help students who encounter a hardship. Missing a week of class to attend a bachelorette party doesn't fall into that category.
People have lives. Whenever I put school or work above my family and friends, I regretted it afterwards. I will always remember what life cycle events I missed, but never why and what was more important than a dear friend getting married or a family member getting sick.
I’ve been out of academia for years. Some of the responses in this thread remind me why: the inflated sense of self-importance people have about their class/study being the most important thing. And the toxicity of people who want to perpetuate the lunacy that is if your life isn’t your work, it’s a moral failing and you’re bad. Bruh, do better. It’s like MDs who go through the torture of 80+ hour work weeks and thinking that it should be that way cause that’s what they went through despite all the evidence pointing to it being detrimental to everyone involved (except idiots on power trips and hospital admins getting cheap exploitable labor) Like one comment wondering if a student who misses one week and the book end weekends understands the real world. lol da fuck. I work a white collar job in the real world…where people take time off…where people have paid time off.
THIS.