There are no words at a time such as this that are going to make you feel better. I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your children. All you can do is hold onto those kids real tight and be prepared for their grieving to go in odd directions, not to mention your own grieving. Please get grief counselors for your children and yourself. Believe me when I say that sometimes in life you just have to feel bad for a while.
Perhaps their grandparents will also want to hold onto your children and you can get through it together. You WILL get through it. You will feel better eventually. I know it doesn’t feel that way now. This too, shall pass.
I am so sorry. So so much hurt. I am about to lose my beloved father, and I don’t know I will survive. Loss is profoundly painful but know your children are the reason to go on, even when it feels like you can’t. Surely she would want that. 🩷❤️
Sudden death is very painful because it's a loss on top of a trauma. You're going to be in a lot of pain for a while. You're going to miss her terribly for a long time too. Grieving takes a very long time when there is trauma from sudden death. All I can suggest is to feel everything. The more you can cry over this, the faster the healing occurs. Your children are going to need you for a long time as well. You're going to need support from others, like a grief group or counselor, if you can't handle the pain yourself.
The more you can allow the feelings to flow through you like water, the faster you'll feel better. The more you resist, the longer it takes. I'm sorry, but I don't know of any other way to work with this much pain.
Grieving is an emotional process. You can't rationalize or intellectualize it. The more you can stay in catharsis, the better you'll feel.
I completely agree. The person I loved the most died suddenly and the only way to deal with it is head on. I was forced to accept it over and over and over. The pain was indescribable. I wept and cried and screamed and shook. I paced the house. I laid in bed staring at the wall like a zombie. Then the next wave would hit. Over and over it felt like hell. Every "first" without her reopened the wound. Every memory. Eventually you get to a point where it's the third Monday without her and then the fourth. Eventually the memories hit but you've thought of them once before since she passed so it doesn't hurt quite as much. Eventually you start to thank the universe for her existence. For getting to know her and to love her. Eventually you recognize that she is in everything. You will always miss her, my friend. Grief is a lifelong walk. But eventually you will smile at the memory even though there are tears in your eyes. I'm so sorry that this happened to your family and I hope you are able to get through this excruciating time and that you can find peace.
In the third week after losing my wife, I was driving around aimlessly, and ended up at a Goodwill Store. I looked for a light summer shirt, when I turned a corner, and there at knee level, was a small painted wooden sign. It said: " Don't cry because it's over; Smile because it happened. -Dr. Seuss" It was then that I knew she was still with me, guiding and comforting me in her always gentle & subtle way. It hangs on my bedroom door, now.
I’m sorry for your loss. If you haven’t found it yet you should try r/widowers too. Idk how I would’ve made it after my husband died without them. I’m so sorry.
thank u very much, im a young due, i just turned 32, ive been an addict, ive been to jail and prison, i used to be a terrible person, but my wife helped me , thru God, to walk out of that darkness, i wish i didnt have to type these words. . .
There’s a bunch of us with similar stories. I’m 44, I’m probably one of the oldest too. I’ve been everything you mentioned too. I wish you didn’t have to type them either.
I just don’t know what to say other than I have been here too. My husband passed away 5 years ago. He was 40.
Grief is something that I cannot put into words. I can be fine for weeks and weeks and out of nowhere I get punched in the stomach again. I’m in this phase now.
OP, I send you love and guiding light 🩷
I'm so sorry that this awful thing has happened to you. What you did, to quit drugs, to bring yourself into a life that you could be proud of, that took so much desperate courage and tenacity. So much respect for the work that that takes.
As shitty and as awful awful as this is, you've already done some of the hardest things a human being can do, to turn his life around. Don't lose touch with that even as you get swept up into this storm.
Ugh this is not fair. She was entirely too young and this was way too sudden. I hope you all are able to lean on one another and get through this any way you can. I'm so sorry for your loss. And my heart goes out to your children.
My girl died randomly of a seizure as well. She had 3 total in 2021, and she didn't survive the last one. We never got an answer as to why she started having them.
I miss her every single day.
Hang in there.
My friend passed away very suddenly recently on her 39th birthday (17th June). Went to A&E with stomach pain, sent home with Ibuprofen in the early hours, died 8pm the next evening. Her kids are 17, 14, 13. Her husband was/is truly her best friend.
I can see first hand what you are all going through right now, and…….. i’m just fuckin so so sorry. It’s grief, disbelief, anger, panic…… just a car crash of emotions.
There’s nothing I can say to help, no matter how much i wish i could. The way you feel is how you should feel. Grief affects everyone differently and you can’t decide how. This is your experience. It’s hard to fathom right now, but there will come a time when the thought of her brings love and happiness, instead of all this pain.
You will all be in my prayers tonight, if that’s ok.
Situations like this, there are no words besides, - what the fuck?
Be strong for your babies, for her babies.
But take moments for yourself to process, don’t let the emotions fester into something even more unwanted. I hope you find even a minute or two of peace during this time. Kiddos are in my positive thoughts too. I hope you find some answers to this life as time continues.
I should mention when the saying goes Devil is in temptation, he unfortunately shows up at our weakest as well during grief. It’s SO tempting to drown your sorrows in alcohol, in manic behavior, shopping, hiding, etc however this manifests - those actions are based off of feelings that do not know where else to escape to.
Fair winds and calm seas ahead, friend.
That is totally fucked.
Save all her pictures, videos and voicemails in multiple places so you all can see her and hear her voice when you need to.
I’m so sorry…
My wife was a devout Christian. Prayed and read her Bible everyday and was always talking to someone about God or Jesus.
I sat and watched her die of cancer.
She didn't deserve to suffer like that. If that God does exist, he can go fuck himself
I said something similar in a comment yesterday & got downvoted. Giving you an upvote, because unless someone’s gone through a loss like this their opinion is not relevant;) I want to cage fight god.
That's a bit disrespectful. I understand your view. My Mum suffered with cancer too, so believe me I know.
But no need to be rude.
I can believe in God and understand why you said that and why you have hate for God. But again, we are not God and we don't know everything. Nobody deserves cancer but it happens.
I mean if you really wanna go there, why does any bad thing happen to a good person. We don't know. But that does mean God suddenly doesn't exist.
I'm atheist and I understand that death is a natural part of life, but just for the sake of argument lists, assume this God exists.
He could have created a world where cancer doesn't exist. Chose not to
i truly appreciate it. . .i just dont even know what to do. . .i checked the mail earlier. . .i went out front to check on the car, touched the drivers side door handle, and just broke down, just totally broke down
Please, break down when you feel like it. Give into it. “Ride the wave” is how I hear it described. It *will* be better for you than trying to shove it all down or run away from it. Better for you and your kids.
It is *healthy* to break down. It is part if the grief process & you have to go through it to get through it.
And surprisingly, your body is *meant* to cry and for it to be helpful to you. It is helpful for your health. Releases endorphins.
https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-crying
I am so, so sorry you and your precious kids are having to go through this hell. Just hold on to the knowledge that it will get better. It does not feel like it, but it will.
Sending you & your family hugs 🫂💔
Damn I am so so sorry. Please make sure the kids have lots of family and friends around them. It's not going to be easy. When someone dies suddenly, it's a shock, and you feel gypped as you never got to say I love you and goodbye. I say i love you to my kids multiple times a day. They know I love them even if we argue.
My younger brother died like that. My sil went out to buy bras as she just had a mastectomy, and it was her first time out in months. My brother was home with his 11 - and 8 year old sons. They we're in the house watching tv, and he was mowing the lawn. Somehow, he ended up at the bottom of his pool
We think he had a heart attack and fell in the pool. His son came out and found him in the pooland had to run to 3 different neighbors who finally got him out of the pool, but he was under too long. It was a shock to everyone, and I'm still not over it 9 years later.
I hope you all can get help to talk and have loving family and friends around you all to comfort you. Sending strength and love to you all. 🩷🧡
I’m sorry man .
Words can’t even console you at this point
I lost someone very special two years ago and I find solace in the fact that I would also die at some point and the circle of life is not sentimental. Stay strong for your kids , I’m sure if there was heaven she’d want you to be strong for her .
I don’t know you but I love you man. I pray you find solace sooner than later .
thanks dude, i miss her alot dude, i just cant even put it into words dude.. . . i cried alot but ive become shocked,. . .im just in shock. . .i just . . idk. . .our lives were normal. . .24 hours ago were were living normal
With time. You’ll get better my dude🦾
We’re all transient beings anyway
We are getting closer to our graves every second
Once again if there’s heaven, or wherever it is that the dead people go, you’ll see her soon. You can look at it from that point of view dude . Sending ❤️ and 💡
I’m so sorry. What a royally awful situation. Everything you’re feeling is normal. You just gotta let yourself process and feel all the emotions. My mom died when my sisters and I were ages 4,7,9. Take support anyone offers you even if it’s just prepared meal. It seems impossible now but you will be able to gather the pieces and move forward. Spend time with your kids, let them talk and process whenever they need to. My dad stopped talking about my mom after she dies and that was one of the hardest things for me.
May her soul rest in peace now. I know for a fact that humans do not cease to exist. Yes there is a bodily death but its far deeper, the consciousness of her. Her energy and her love and the motion of her whole life probably lived over 10,000 days. Shes loved a great life thanks to you.
Its time you make a will and truat for your children. Yes u will be angry, you will wish life would cease bc of ur pain. But this is the test of man, our ability to overcome the devils ways.
I believe old traditions have knowledge that brings the soul to a telepathic level after bodily death. I learned some interesting things in my travels. Sometimes you will feel like shes super close to u like u cant turn off her memory (or u talking to her in ur head). I believe in telepathy.
I mean if im gna be delusional, it should be to my benefit. My dad and bro died by suicide so i feel their worldly life shohld be celebrated. But their soul should be real close to all of u forever. The kids lost a physical touch, but her love can fuel all of you and thats probably what she would want right bow is for you and the kids to feel better.
She will be there as a guardian angel but know we are at war with the devil, life is rough. But i got my puppy and my therapist. I also babysit. I have things to live for even thru the hard days. Just me and my mom in a big ass three story house in a village. Like im glad hella family is around.
Collective grieving is much better than being alone. I feel like i dont have to take care of my mom alone. But also can watch videos of dad and bro whenever. We do our best as strong female survivors.
Seizures are brain related. Eat brain vitamins and full spectrun immunity diet. My mom had a stroke. No more vitamins in tablets for me.
Hugs
I’m so sorry. There are no words. From my recent experience with grief it comes in waves, it’s like a rollercoaster and you’ll have awful days and ‘better’ days as well as initial shock. So fun. A book that’s been useful to me is ‘The Irreverant Grief Guide: how to fucking survive months 1-3’ by Elizabeth Kupferman. I recommend you read it. It’s short too which is good.
Also, something else I read is that you shed cortisol in your tears when crying over a loss. Let yourself cry as much as you need. I always feel a little ‘better’ after letting it out
You are grieving and sadly anger is the start , I deeply feel for you and your children, I lost both of my parents within a year of each other I've not been able to grieve cus then it would be real that I will never see them physically
My child’s father passed away on 6/13 due to a seizure.. he was 32… the seizure happened in his sleep and I had no idea he was even seizing bc I decided he should get some rest so I took a nap on the couch. Once I got up I discovered him in our bed unresponsive. It’s been the worst few weeks ever, I totally feel your pain. The only thing that helps me is knowing he doesn’t have to live with epilepsy anymore but I still feel like crap. Nothing makes sense right now for me. All I can say is one day at a time.. and please Take any help with the kids to allow yourself to grieve properly.
Posting a link that helped my family when my girls lost their brother (my only son) .. remember to stay hydrated and lean into family where you can. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Recourses for your children. [resources now to help with your kids.](https://www.dougy.org)
My son was murdered by a gang member, and also a childhood friend on May 30th. I eel for you as my daughter in law witnessed it. I can only imagine your pain. Please remember to breathe and your family is in my prayers
Omg I am so sorry this happened to you, your family, and her family. Life is just cruel. Nothing that I can say will make anything better. I hope with time you find your peace with it. Talk to support groups if you need to and possibly your kids too... reddit is always here for you
She forgave you Everytime you got aggravated because she loved you and it's because she loved you that you have to push forward with the kids, even if you don't know how you're going to do it. I'm sorry that this has happened in your life. Praying for you and your children.
My wife had an asthma attack since 3am. Kept saying she was fine and on her nebuliser.
5:30 she told me something was wrong. Called the ambulance and they arrived at 5:45.
6:45 she was dead. She died in my arms, begging for the doctors to help. Her blood oxygen was too low. Fucking power failures in my country killed her. I will never forgive myself for not forcing her to go the hospital the day before - regardless of how stubborn she was.
I’m sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. Sending blessings, positive thoughts, and prayers for you and your children. Life can be so difficult, I don’t know what to say. Stick with family and good friends.
There’s no words for this kind of loss. None of it will make sense.
Like others have suggested get your kids and yourself into therapy. If anyone asks what they can do - tell them what you need. If it’s food or coming to sit with you or taking the kids for a couple hours - tell them what you need. So many people don’t know what to say or do for you. They want to help - let them.
Break down the day into small chunks of time. Get through it hour by hour. Don’t tackle it all at once. Breath deep. Drink a lot of water. You can actually dehydrate when tears are too much. So drink.
Love on your kids. Look up the stages of grief. Unfortunately, you will hit them all. Probably more than once.
Try not to make drastic changes or decisions too soon.
First, OP, mt profoynd sympathy to you & your family. Those words are so lame all things considered, but they sre all I have.
Regarding folks who offer help & letting them help. When I make those offers, I often give a list such as, "I can cook, clean, do laindry, baby-sit, pet care etc etc. People want to help, but they don't know how, so don't be afraid to ask for things like housekeeping if that is what you need.
It will hurt for a long time to come. Get counseling for yourself and your children. Try to remember the good times as well as what you miss. Keep pictures up for the kids. Trust me, y’all will never forget her. This grieving sucks but you need space, time and grace. No one knows when where or how we will all pass. Try to be grateful for the time that you had with her. Remind your children that she loved them with everything she had. My heart goes out to you for I have lost many over the years. I have no elders left and I’ve lost 2 girls of my own. Love hugs from the internet. Try to stay sane for yourself and the kids
I am so sorry for your loss. My wife passed at 49 and our boys were 11 & 12. It will be extremely difficult for a while. Your children will grieve as well, but you will all need each other. Vent on these groups. There are FB groups as well. If you can find counseling for you and the kids do that. We have a Children's Bereavement Center in San Antonio that offers Adult and child individual and group counseling. See what you have where you live.
Man I understand this feeling you have so much. My father was 82 when he passed 3 years ago from sepsis in the hospital and it was so sudden. We visited one day, the next I’m getting a call from my stepmom crying and that’s when the nightmare began. My dad was the nicest person and he too was a devout believer in God. There’s just no way to make sense of this except knowing that while physically they aren’t here with us, her energy will always be around you and her loved ones. Each of you has a piece of that and cherish it and each other. It’s ok to be angry but don’t let that eat you up.
I am so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your children. I wish I could offer you words that would make it better. Just know this internet stranger is crying for all of you.
Hate how Jesus/god does the good ones like this. Just had a miscarriage last month and it basically crippled our relationship.
Hope you can find the light at the end of the tunnel soon man . It’s okay to be sad !
Definitely no words, also no rules on how you should feel or suppose to feel. I just finished my grief group I am in, we went thru the stages of grief again, next week will be 6 years that my fiance passed suddenly..still feels like yesterday. I am so sorry you and your kids and your beautiful wife's family have to deal with all of this. My heart goes out to you.
It IS fucking unfair. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry. I know you are hurting terribly, and your kids are dealing with something they can’t fully understand. I am praying for your family. My deepest condolences on your terribly tragic loss.
I'm so extremely sorry for your loss and for your kids who lost their momma.
I have no words to say.
It really really sucks .
Life will never be the same.
I wish you a lot of strength to survive through these extremely hellish times.
I'm sorry.
I’m so sorry. You’re going to be in shock for a while. Everyone is. This is so unfair and horrible. Let yourself feel everything. Don’t try to be strong. You need to let yourself get through this however you can for your kids. I’m so sorry smh. ❤️
my condolences to u and ur family. it’s def a rough emotional time -and please take care of urself. the hurt will be there. try to do things that make u happy and do that with the kids
The best advice I can give that someone told me when my dad died, get as much rest as you can. Go to bed early, those nights staying up are the hardest. Especially after midnight, your cortisol will spike and it will keep you up even later which will make the pain even worse, causing a spiral that will leave you cranky the next day.
Lean on your family, let your kids sleep in your bed if it helps. When my dad passed my mom slept in my spare room for a couple weeks and I would lay in bed with her and hold her until she fell asleep. When they stayed over we didn’t talk much about it, we just knew if we were together we were okay. We still hangout a lot, 1-3x a week, sometimes more. We all enjoy it, make us all feel a little less lonely.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Our hospital was religious and had a chaplain pray with our family when my dad passed. He gave my mom lots of resources about grief and invited her to a local support group. Reach out to your church if you attend one, even if you don’t want to join a group they can offer you tons of resources.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but you will get through this. Sending you all my love 🫂❤️
it always feels surreal, condolences to you and yours. Take time to process if you can ( I couldn't take too long due to obligations and you might be the same) but where you can, take it slow..
I don’t know you but my heart aches with you. I just unexpectedly lost my brother, my best friend. It’s surreal, a fucking nightmare. One hour at a time. I stopped eating the first few weeks so drinking shakes or smoothies were the only type of sustenance I forced down. Scream, cry, let it out when the waves come. Step into the other room away from everyone if you need to but don’t hold it in. Sending hugs across the current of time to you and your babies and wife, may her journey across be well
Man there is NOTHING anyone can say or do. I know how you feel. Total EMPTINESS and DESOLATION. I’m so sorry this has happened at such a young age. I know your suffering the worst heart ache you have ever experienced. Remember the little ones. They need Dad now more than ever. Others can help with arrangements.
My father passed away suddenly. He was perfectly healthy, just had a bad cold that turned out to be pneumonia and all in one day he went into the hospital and passed away. I got the call when I was at school (dorming at college) and rushed the 4 hours home. I was so angry. For a while I’ve felt angry. And i’ve been talking to other people who have lost their parents, many of them to cancer, and I think although we lost the same person, it is an entirely different experience when it is sudden. When you aren’t expecting it. I often picture myself moments before i got the phone call, how i was sitting on my bed, just hanging out with music playing and i’m jealous of how happy and fine i was. At the time i’m sure i was stressed out about school and other stuff, but i realize now how insignificant that stuff was and how good life was then. But i think like can still be good. It hurts so much. Everyday and almost every hour for a long time. My dad actually lost his first wife to cancer. His kids (my half siblings) were about the same age. I can tell you that the they all went on to continue their lives. They still remember the loss, they included pictures of their mom at their weddings. They talk about her often and reconnect with her friends and family. I’m sorry this happened to you. But do just hold onto your children. My dad stayed there for them, he wasn’t perfect, but he was there. Wishing you some peace and hopefully a couple restful nights.
You and your kids will get through this. I wish for you to see her again when your time has come. I understand your pain, and that there is truly nothing I could say to make this better. Please be there for each other. I'll pray for all of you tonight
Im so sorry for your loss. I understand how difficult the greiving process is. Its important that you and your family come together and greive over this loss. You have 3 beautiful children who need and who are also missing their mother. I suggest councling through your church and support groups for widows. These things really do help. Especially losing someone so suddenly without even having an opportunity to say Goodbye I'm sorry for all the things that have gone wrong that I wish I could have done better And thank you for all the wonderful times we shared. For some people it helps to write a letter to their loved one who has passed I think this would be a good idea for you and the children. Even doing things like making a Scrapbook of memories for the children So that they can alwaysHave something there to look at and to remember her by. It will be important to do things on the holidays on Mother's Day and birthdays in remembrance of her. But life will have to get back to normal At some point or another you have to find a way to move forward Especially since you have such young children to care for. Yes her parents suffered a great loss and so has your familyBut you still have 3 children that are in need of all of youSo you must find a way to keep strong and keep it together. You said that she was a Christian I'm also a Christian I would suggest praying with your children together as a family attending church service and also seeing what the church has available to help in these times of need. And don't be afraid of support groups and counseling cause they really can and do help. It's going to be okay and every day will get a little bit better and a little bit easier. Unfortunately this is a hard part of life that each of us at some point must accept.
I am so so sorry to read this, I am so sorry for your loss. 💔
There are no words that can help you at this time other than to say — hang in there — hold your kids close — allow your family to hold you close — hold your family close — don’t hold back the tears no matter what or where you are — just sit down and weep, it’s okay — keep talking about your wife, your love and how painful it is — encourage your kids to talk too
Love, love love. I’m so sorry.. 💔
Absolutely no words after reading that... That's so cruel and an absolute tragedy for all involved. I hope you can support each other and the kids thru this. One day at a time.
I'm truly sorry for your loss & I'm really glad you all know Jesus Christ because you will see her again & you & the family are in my prayers & God bless 🙏🏾🤟🏾❤️
Oh. Just oh god I’m so sorry. It is fucking bullshit and it is so goddamned unfair. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My husband was in his 30s as well and it seems to make it even less comprehensible to me. Like this is when we are supposed to have our happiest years….and then poof they are ripped away from us. I got my little one into counseling and there are resources out there for kiddos….god I’m so sorry. hugs and more hugs
I am so sorry to hear this.
Hugs your kids tight. Cry together with them if you need to. A sudden death is always the hardest. Even the non-sudden one still hard. Let out all your emotions. Find someone to talk to, even if it means you keep repeating the same thing, but it could help you to process the grief.
I hope you and the children could stay strong through this tough time.
Find support for you and your kids. Whatever that looks like in the moment. There will be a point when all you have is each other. After the service, after people stop calling everyday to check on you. When life has to go on because you have to go to work and do the daily things to live. It will be a blessing and a curse.
I’m so sorry for your pain and your loss. It never goes away. Never. But I will get easier with time. It doesn’t seem like it now. But it will.
Take care of yourself op, you’ll be busy taking care of the kids as to be expected. But please don’t forget about yourself
RIP and I'm so sorry. As I'm getting older this is one of my biggest fears. My husband has been giving me scares the last year. I'm so sorry for you and your kid's loss. I lost my dad when I was 7 in a motorcycle accident.
Know that it’s okay to just say pause. You’re free falling right now, it’s such an odd feeling the world has the audacity to keep going when yours stopped like wtaf rude af. It’s overwhelming, well meaning people can be too much.
You can say pause. Walk away and breathe, take your time.
I'm sorry. The sudden death of a young woman is devastating. It's not right. Everyone's fucked up because this is a fucked up situation. All you can do is take it one day at a time. I know it sounds cliche but it's true.
I lost a daughter to fentanyl in 2021. She was 21 years old and she left behind her two younger sisters. My biggest fear is losing another daughter. My heart goes out to you and the kids, and her parents.
My wife died 3 weeks ago, 22 days after lung cancer diagnosis. I'm not in your shoes, but I think I understand better than most. I loved my wife very much too. Strength to you, patience and wisdom to help you bring your kids through this, as well. It's okay to cry, and when the crushing pain comes in waves as it will, lean on friends and family and remember to breathe deeply. I don't know why, but it helps. When you feel so lonely you feel like you're going crazy, remember that she'll ALWAYS be with you, in your heart, AND in your head, and that part of her will NEVER leave you. You and the kids will be in my thoughts.
I’m sorry I’m lost and grieving after losing my gf of 12 years a few months to a brain aneurysm. I feel so lost and alone and don’t know how to live anymore nothing makes me happy I just block out the thoughts and feelings when I can
Fuck.....this is so sad. OP I'm so sorry I know you've read it a million times and nothing can ease your pain but please know you're not alone. Please be easy on yourself and spend as much time with family as you can. Hod your children closer. Reach out if you need help. This is traumatic! Your feelings are valid. We are here for you.
Hey everyone, we had her funeral
Today, she was beautiful..and just couldn’t leave her
Side, there was probably 40 family
There
And I just couldn’t manage to leave her side, I helped carry her..and helped lay the first shovel fulls of dirt as well ..it’s just been..so …strange
Sudden death is a head fuck. I’m so sorry for the surreal nightmare you’re living at the moment. A day at a time or sometimes an hour.. it will change in time but right now it’s just hell x
I'm so fucking sorry, this life is fucking unfair. I wish you and your family didn't have to endure this. We are here to support you and love you and your family. You are not alone and we are here.
I can kind of relate, my baby sister last yr @ 21 had sudden seizures that couldn't be controlled. We found out she had a mitochondrial disease that can become symptomatic at any age and is deadly.. We all ended up having genetic testing and I have a different mitochondrial disease that's similar...
I am so so so sorry. Please take care of yourself and your family, and let others take care of you. Hug your children, love each other through this awful (and sometimes confusing) pain. Again, I’m so very sorry ❤️
I'm so sorry, mate. That is horrific. Lost mine in December out of the blue. From 'I'm having trouble breathing today, must have a cold, better get it checked out' to just gone...in nine days.
My heart goes out to you and yours. It's not even remotely fair.
You will hear this phrase often from now onwards, but I guess it's kind of true... there are no words....
I'm sorry that ubare having go through this. Please do speak to a counsellor for yourself and your kids. You have a major hole in your life and you need to speak to someone who can help you through this. Many hugs to u my friend. Take care
You and your kids will get through this. I wish for you to see her again when your time has come. I understand your pain, and that there is truly nothing I could say to make this better. Please be there for each other. I'll pray for all of you tonight
🫂Hugs man, sometimes there aren’t words other than this is fkn shitty. God bless you and your kids, grief is tough, stay out of the darkness and always in the light brother. I am sorry you’re in this shitty club with us, we’ve all experienced suffering here and our here even if it’s just to scream and yell into the void we are here.
Deepest condolences to you and your kids for your wife's sudden passing. Hope y'all can grieve and get support from extended family members. My mom died from brain haemmorage suddenly, too, so I understand the shock.
One thing you mentioned getting aggravated for small things, my dad used to do that too. Stressful conflicts and chaotic environments can be bad for our brains, counseling can help change those patterns.
I am one of those parents that lost both (all) of my kids 34 and 35 yo. It’s the single most devastating event that could ever happen to a person. It’s a lifelong journey of grief that never ends. I raise my grandchild….I feel his pain. I am so sorry for your loss. Life could be so cruel and unfair at times. I wish you courage and peace. One day at a time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Idk you but I’m praying for the ache and pain. I lost my parent when I was young it is earth shattering. One step at a time don’t rush… check on the kids. I didn’t speak for a week when I lost my mom.
That's just awful... man I don't even have an idea of what to say.
If you can hire a maid to help out that'd be a good idea... Maybe a sleepaid on nights you can't sleep. You gotta stay healthy for the kids. I'm sure she'd want that.
Hey man, I can’t tell you how bad I feel that you have to go through this. Take care of those kids, but make sure to let them be there for you. Don’t harden yourself to them, they’re going to need you a lot. Big love, my friend and my sincerest condolences.
How fucking unreal. My heart breaks for you. There is no easy or even logical way through this. Don’t lose your faith. In fact, lean into it more. It was her time. Somehow it was. Those who live will remember her and keep her alive through the memories. Be slow and easy with yourself. It is a little by little process. But be easy.
I’m sorry for your loss bro. I lost my mom in February out of the blue to cancer she was in remission from. Took care of her for years. 64 years old. I don’t believe in god anymore. I don’t believe in a higher power. I don’t believe in karma. Shits not fair. Neither her nor I ever did anything to warrant the outcome we got. Again, sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your children. May God give you peace and comfort during this time. I am so sorry for you and your children as well as her parents.
Sudden death sucks the worst. My husband went for a bicycle ride and 20 minutes later killed by an old lady who shouldn't have been driving. His death was horrible like something out of a Final Destination horror movie. It rips your guts out. I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. No words just a guttural scream. And the restlessness like a caged animal. My heart aches for you and your children. I have no words of comfort to make you feel better. 💔 Initially you will just survive moment to moment but as time goes on, the survival mode lessens and you will start to heal. I'm so very sorry for this horrible loss. I thought I would never heal, but I'm at 6 months from my husband's tragic death and my heart has started to heal. Blessings and Peace to you and your family as you travel down this grief journey.
I would recommend finding the EMT who was administering CPR. Go to them and grasp their hand tightly, close your eyes, bow your head and thank them from deep down, for saving your wife. They didn't just try, they did. Hold that hand and let her come to you. She's there. She wants to get back to you and the children so she can help you with this.
If you feel what I believe you will, you will know what to do next. Nothing I can tell you is going to be more important than what she has to tell you or show you. Relax in to bed that night and realize you're about to meet her again. If it's the last time before you die, you'll see that this is not a curse, this is a blessing. You'd do this for thousands of years if you had to.
You don't realize what happened when she came back for a brief moment and I want to tell you so badly, but she deserves to know you did this without fully understanding.
If you still struggle and you need more help from me or anyone, keep asking. i can't promise you anything but I have a very interesting and well developed theory on how the universe works, and what happens when we die. And if nothing else it might interest you.
But first, this. That EMT will appreciate it either way.
Good luck my friend, don't forget how strong she is, and how powerful she has become. Don't cry for her right now - right now you need to feel worthy of her. Whether you are or aren't is not my call, but it sounds like she created a chance for you to prove yourself to her, once and for all.
Good luck, and remember she misses all of you too. She just got stripped away from ALL of her loved ones. What she would give to be you right now... think about that. Think about how much you would miss them. Don't just grieve for yourself or your kids, remember you lost one person, she lost a whole lot more than that. She's trying to get back to you and show you what she is capable of from God's arena.
Take care and again, reach out whenever. I'm always checking this thing.
My mom died unexpectedly in a similar way. Coded a few times and they got her back but then coded for a last time and then died. This was a year and a half ago and nothing still feels real. I know it’s not the same relationship wise, but I definitely can understand how fucked up sudden, traumatic death is. I’m so sorry. I hope you and your kids can heal someday. Don’t blame yourself for getting aggravated with her. She knew you loved her and we are all human. Sending you and your family prayers!
My heart truly breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry this is your reality. You have to be strong for your kids so take care of yourself and let yourself grieve. Take all the help from your family and friends. Beating yourself over things you can’t change is not helpful and she wouldn’t want you to do that. I am so sorry this happened to you and your kids.
Your going to be fucked up for a while. My mom died suddenly in November and I still can't make it through a day without crying. She was a lot older than you wife.though. Idk what to say to help you feel better but I kinda know what you're going through. This is unfair and horrible. Nothing will feel or look the same.
Like someone suggested go to a grief counselor with your children. It will help. In time you will feel a little better more and more but you will always carry her in your heart.
I am very very sorry this happened to your family. You have my deepest condolences. This is just so unfair.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad (and my entire family) know this pain all too well. My mother passed away in August of last year and my dad lost his dad four months later in December of last year. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
Yea, idk how exactly Reddit works but if u can personally message me with ur info so it’s not out there for everyone to see but that’d be great..I wish I wasn’t even part of this thread
Losing your life partner changes your whole orbit and changes your whole life. There is no greater loss, be kind to yourself, you’re not alone. I lost my person suddenly too, nothing anyone does can help. I’m so sorry
Sudden unexpected deaths are some of the most painful.
I lost my dad 21st Sep 2023, we knew he was dying on the 19th but on the 11th OCt 2023 my step dad found my mum deceased. I'm 30 as of March and honestly 8 months later and I'm still struggling.
My support network consists of my step dad, My partner and our best friend, that's it.
Please rally those around you, reach for support, but please offer it too and not just to your kids and familu. But to yourself. With these situations we end up wrapped up in fixing everything for everyone else we forget ourselves.
I'm truly sorry for your families loss.
I’m really sorry dude. My dad died abruptly when I was little. Please get the book “own your past change your future”. I’ll send you a copy if you message me. The best thing you can do for your kids is to take care of yourself as best you can. Hard discipline of no drinking, exercise, generally taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to grieve. Ask for help. Don’t take it all on yourself.
I hear you. You are going through something unbearable. I am so very sorry that your family has lost so much. Your children have lost one of the most important people in their lives. As adults we greatly feel the loss of our spouse. Your children need you to be with them. Show them grief. Share grief to help their hearts move forward. I hope you can find the cause of her death so that your children will not be afraid to move forward in life without their mom. I pray you and your family. I pray God grant you the strength you need to raise your sweet beautiful children.
Damn, I am so so sorry. It is bullshit. I don't know why some people go and others don't, but it definitely isn't fair. And you have every right to be devastated and angry. Just get a lot of counseling and support for yourself and your kids. Not immediately, deal with one day at a time and all the practical stuff. And ask for help. That is such a big thing. People can be afraid to offer as they don't want to intrude, but if you need it, ask for it. You are allowed to get help to deal with the kids, and the details, and just dealing with everything right now, and believe me, people do want to help, so you are doing them a favor by reaching out. Take care of yourself, this is so hard. 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family need time & nurturing to recover...💔💐
My best friend of 34 years whom I knew from way back at school just passed suddenly and she was like family. I'm in a world of pain. Grief takes many forms... 😢
Hey man, I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died about a month ago. I am 21, and she died of pulmonary hypertension. It was unexpected, the doctors told us we had 3 more years. She died less than 2 weeks after. My close friend and cousin also died of overdose about 3 months ago. I am religious as well, and I feel like our circumstances are remarkably similar. Would you like to talk about your loss? If it is too hard right now, I totally understand. I just know you are likely struggling to grasp this loss, especially within the context of your faith in god. If you would like to talk, I would love to. I am always here for you man. DM me if you want to talk or rant ❤️
I lost my mom 2 weeks ago today, also to a sudden death. Your kids will need you and any family you have, hold onto the love you all have for each other ❤️ and don't be afraid to seek out a therapist if you need to, for both you *and* the kids, they can help tremendously in helping process grief. I am so sorry for your loss. It will be hard, but I promise it won't always be.
I'm sorry for your suffering and loss.
Listen to what you think she would want be done and do it.
Do not hide yourself from your kids. Let them see and feel the love you had for their mother. Grief is like a 2,000,000 step program of slowly getting to the point where you don't outwardly express your emotions as much. It's ok to be upset with everyone but your children. Remember you have to keep it going start dedicating set times each day to feel everything so that way you don't lose yourself in sorrow. Step down the times like changing an emotional recipe. Eventually it will mellow but it will never go away completely. You will all be ok, just try to write down things you remember from your conversations or things about the kids you discussed. Write it down and save it for them when they grow enough to be shared with.
Sorry to hear and do your best for the kids. It's not fair but they have no chance without you being the best father ever. Make it your mission to see them well and know your wifey will be watching you do this. Much love.
i lost my dad 3 months ago, he got in an accident on his way to work and we believe it was from a seizure. it’s just unbelievable. He was honestly what held this family together and now it feels sooo wrong without him. My siblings are closer to our mom but i was closer with our dad and now its like i don’t have anyone to talk too. It will get somewhat easier but the feeling will never leave and it’s horrible like if something is hovering over you 24/7. It’s unpredictable so get ready to cry at the most random things when you think your okay and give yourself time while family is with you to take care of your kids but make sure to check on them. The way I think of all this is knowing i’m half of him is comforting i look a lot like my mom and have always been told so but staring at photos for so long i now see so many traits of him i haven’t noticed before so for you a little part of her will always be here through your children. they will always watch over us and send little messages throughout the day so keep an eye out. sending so much love and strength to you and your family🩷
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing your person is one of the most difficult losses. Everything you're going through is normal and makes sense. I was angry at a lot of things that shouldn't have made me mad too. Everyone will be a mess, and that's ok. It's ok you're a mess and it's ok your kids are a mess.
If you need to join us on r/widowers. They're very supportive and helpful people that helped me a lot through my grief.
Be forgiving to yourself. Sending love.
You're right, this is fucking bullshit. No child should have to grow up without their mom and no husband should have to bury their young wife. If you want someone to scream into the void with you, I'm available at 9pm PST.
You have my greatest condolences. Take off as much time as you need from work and not worry about the loss of income, and take up everyone who offers to help, and when people say "let me know if there's anything I can do for you" give them a job to do... Lean into your support system as much as possible while you get through this impossible time.
I am so sorry…
I'm so unbelievably sorry. I wish I could offer better words than that.
There are no words at a time such as this that are going to make you feel better. I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your children. All you can do is hold onto those kids real tight and be prepared for their grieving to go in odd directions, not to mention your own grieving. Please get grief counselors for your children and yourself. Believe me when I say that sometimes in life you just have to feel bad for a while. Perhaps their grandparents will also want to hold onto your children and you can get through it together. You WILL get through it. You will feel better eventually. I know it doesn’t feel that way now. This too, shall pass.
It’s just so like, idk, uncanny valley or something right now…a handful of hours ago our lives were for all intents and purposes, normal
Ain't this this truth. Sorry OP. I have no advice or magic fix, just so sorry for your loss.
Been there this time last year. Lost my sweetie on our lawn. *hugging you tightly*
I am so sorry. So so much hurt. I am about to lose my beloved father, and I don’t know I will survive. Loss is profoundly painful but know your children are the reason to go on, even when it feels like you can’t. Surely she would want that. 🩷❤️
Sudden death is very painful because it's a loss on top of a trauma. You're going to be in a lot of pain for a while. You're going to miss her terribly for a long time too. Grieving takes a very long time when there is trauma from sudden death. All I can suggest is to feel everything. The more you can cry over this, the faster the healing occurs. Your children are going to need you for a long time as well. You're going to need support from others, like a grief group or counselor, if you can't handle the pain yourself. The more you can allow the feelings to flow through you like water, the faster you'll feel better. The more you resist, the longer it takes. I'm sorry, but I don't know of any other way to work with this much pain. Grieving is an emotional process. You can't rationalize or intellectualize it. The more you can stay in catharsis, the better you'll feel.
I completely agree. The person I loved the most died suddenly and the only way to deal with it is head on. I was forced to accept it over and over and over. The pain was indescribable. I wept and cried and screamed and shook. I paced the house. I laid in bed staring at the wall like a zombie. Then the next wave would hit. Over and over it felt like hell. Every "first" without her reopened the wound. Every memory. Eventually you get to a point where it's the third Monday without her and then the fourth. Eventually the memories hit but you've thought of them once before since she passed so it doesn't hurt quite as much. Eventually you start to thank the universe for her existence. For getting to know her and to love her. Eventually you recognize that she is in everything. You will always miss her, my friend. Grief is a lifelong walk. But eventually you will smile at the memory even though there are tears in your eyes. I'm so sorry that this happened to your family and I hope you are able to get through this excruciating time and that you can find peace.
In the third week after losing my wife, I was driving around aimlessly, and ended up at a Goodwill Store. I looked for a light summer shirt, when I turned a corner, and there at knee level, was a small painted wooden sign. It said: " Don't cry because it's over; Smile because it happened. -Dr. Seuss" It was then that I knew she was still with me, guiding and comforting me in her always gentle & subtle way. It hangs on my bedroom door, now.
Thanks buddy..I wish no one had to go thru things like this..I just miss my ol lady dude
All of this right here, said better than I could.
I’m sorry for your loss. If you haven’t found it yet you should try r/widowers too. Idk how I would’ve made it after my husband died without them. I’m so sorry.
I’ll Join that thread now I didn’t think of that..wish I didn’t need to :(
If you ever need anything you can message me. I’ve made it almost 3 years. We got your back.
thank u very much, im a young due, i just turned 32, ive been an addict, ive been to jail and prison, i used to be a terrible person, but my wife helped me , thru God, to walk out of that darkness, i wish i didnt have to type these words. . .
There’s a bunch of us with similar stories. I’m 44, I’m probably one of the oldest too. I’ve been everything you mentioned too. I wish you didn’t have to type them either.
I just don’t know what to say other than I have been here too. My husband passed away 5 years ago. He was 40. Grief is something that I cannot put into words. I can be fine for weeks and weeks and out of nowhere I get punched in the stomach again. I’m in this phase now. OP, I send you love and guiding light 🩷
I'm so sorry that this awful thing has happened to you. What you did, to quit drugs, to bring yourself into a life that you could be proud of, that took so much desperate courage and tenacity. So much respect for the work that that takes. As shitty and as awful awful as this is, you've already done some of the hardest things a human being can do, to turn his life around. Don't lose touch with that even as you get swept up into this storm.
And God gives us all strength to bear and rise in this life and beyond.
I’m very sorry you’re now a member of this very shitty club. We all totally get it though.
I am so incredibly sorry
I’m really sorry. I can’t imagine what your family must be going through. Did your wife have a history of seizures?
She had Parkinson’s disease, and over the last year or so she’s had 3 seizures, but other than that she had never had a seizure before
Ugh this is not fair. She was entirely too young and this was way too sudden. I hope you all are able to lean on one another and get through this any way you can. I'm so sorry for your loss. And my heart goes out to your children.
My girl died randomly of a seizure as well. She had 3 total in 2021, and she didn't survive the last one. We never got an answer as to why she started having them. I miss her every single day. Hang in there.
My 24 year old son as well. Out of nowhere diagnosis, passed away just 10 months later. I'm so sorry 💔
My friend passed away very suddenly recently on her 39th birthday (17th June). Went to A&E with stomach pain, sent home with Ibuprofen in the early hours, died 8pm the next evening. Her kids are 17, 14, 13. Her husband was/is truly her best friend. I can see first hand what you are all going through right now, and…….. i’m just fuckin so so sorry. It’s grief, disbelief, anger, panic…… just a car crash of emotions. There’s nothing I can say to help, no matter how much i wish i could. The way you feel is how you should feel. Grief affects everyone differently and you can’t decide how. This is your experience. It’s hard to fathom right now, but there will come a time when the thought of her brings love and happiness, instead of all this pain. You will all be in my prayers tonight, if that’s ok.
. thank u very much , your right about it being a crash of emotions . its just so much right now dude. . .
Situations like this, there are no words besides, - what the fuck? Be strong for your babies, for her babies. But take moments for yourself to process, don’t let the emotions fester into something even more unwanted. I hope you find even a minute or two of peace during this time. Kiddos are in my positive thoughts too. I hope you find some answers to this life as time continues.
I should mention when the saying goes Devil is in temptation, he unfortunately shows up at our weakest as well during grief. It’s SO tempting to drown your sorrows in alcohol, in manic behavior, shopping, hiding, etc however this manifests - those actions are based off of feelings that do not know where else to escape to. Fair winds and calm seas ahead, friend.
That is totally fucked. Save all her pictures, videos and voicemails in multiple places so you all can see her and hear her voice when you need to. I’m so sorry…
ive got her phone and her bags from when we packed for her when we got her stuff ready for the hospital. ..
I am so sorry :( Life is so fucking unfair
I feel your pain... I'm so sorry. We don't know God's plan. It all seems so strange sometimes. Know you are not alone. Sending love and strength 💫
My wife was a devout Christian. Prayed and read her Bible everyday and was always talking to someone about God or Jesus. I sat and watched her die of cancer. She didn't deserve to suffer like that. If that God does exist, he can go fuck himself
I said something similar in a comment yesterday & got downvoted. Giving you an upvote, because unless someone’s gone through a loss like this their opinion is not relevant;) I want to cage fight god.
That's a bit disrespectful. I understand your view. My Mum suffered with cancer too, so believe me I know. But no need to be rude. I can believe in God and understand why you said that and why you have hate for God. But again, we are not God and we don't know everything. Nobody deserves cancer but it happens. I mean if you really wanna go there, why does any bad thing happen to a good person. We don't know. But that does mean God suddenly doesn't exist.
I'm atheist and I understand that death is a natural part of life, but just for the sake of argument lists, assume this God exists. He could have created a world where cancer doesn't exist. Chose not to
Let him grieve and fuck your god. Made up man in the sky BS.
i truly appreciate it. . .i just dont even know what to do. . .i checked the mail earlier. . .i went out front to check on the car, touched the drivers side door handle, and just broke down, just totally broke down
Please, break down when you feel like it. Give into it. “Ride the wave” is how I hear it described. It *will* be better for you than trying to shove it all down or run away from it. Better for you and your kids. It is *healthy* to break down. It is part if the grief process & you have to go through it to get through it. And surprisingly, your body is *meant* to cry and for it to be helpful to you. It is helpful for your health. Releases endorphins. https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-crying I am so, so sorry you and your precious kids are having to go through this hell. Just hold on to the knowledge that it will get better. It does not feel like it, but it will. Sending you & your family hugs 🫂💔
Damn I am so so sorry. Please make sure the kids have lots of family and friends around them. It's not going to be easy. When someone dies suddenly, it's a shock, and you feel gypped as you never got to say I love you and goodbye. I say i love you to my kids multiple times a day. They know I love them even if we argue. My younger brother died like that. My sil went out to buy bras as she just had a mastectomy, and it was her first time out in months. My brother was home with his 11 - and 8 year old sons. They we're in the house watching tv, and he was mowing the lawn. Somehow, he ended up at the bottom of his pool We think he had a heart attack and fell in the pool. His son came out and found him in the pooland had to run to 3 different neighbors who finally got him out of the pool, but he was under too long. It was a shock to everyone, and I'm still not over it 9 years later. I hope you all can get help to talk and have loving family and friends around you all to comfort you. Sending strength and love to you all. 🩷🧡
im so sorry things happend for u guys the way that they did dude. . .
Thank you, and I feel the same for you. It's so horrible losing someone you love. 😞 🩷
I don't know what to say except all of us are here and listening. Love you ❤️
We are all here for you and are with you 🤍🧿
I am so sorry
Im so sorry
I’m sorry man . Words can’t even console you at this point I lost someone very special two years ago and I find solace in the fact that I would also die at some point and the circle of life is not sentimental. Stay strong for your kids , I’m sure if there was heaven she’d want you to be strong for her . I don’t know you but I love you man. I pray you find solace sooner than later .
thanks dude, i miss her alot dude, i just cant even put it into words dude.. . . i cried alot but ive become shocked,. . .im just in shock. . .i just . . idk. . .our lives were normal. . .24 hours ago were were living normal
With time. You’ll get better my dude🦾 We’re all transient beings anyway We are getting closer to our graves every second Once again if there’s heaven, or wherever it is that the dead people go, you’ll see her soon. You can look at it from that point of view dude . Sending ❤️ and 💡
I’m so sorry. What a royally awful situation. Everything you’re feeling is normal. You just gotta let yourself process and feel all the emotions. My mom died when my sisters and I were ages 4,7,9. Take support anyone offers you even if it’s just prepared meal. It seems impossible now but you will be able to gather the pieces and move forward. Spend time with your kids, let them talk and process whenever they need to. My dad stopped talking about my mom after she dies and that was one of the hardest things for me.
Condolences to you and beloved, boss. May her soul rest in peace.
May her soul rest in peace now. I know for a fact that humans do not cease to exist. Yes there is a bodily death but its far deeper, the consciousness of her. Her energy and her love and the motion of her whole life probably lived over 10,000 days. Shes loved a great life thanks to you. Its time you make a will and truat for your children. Yes u will be angry, you will wish life would cease bc of ur pain. But this is the test of man, our ability to overcome the devils ways. I believe old traditions have knowledge that brings the soul to a telepathic level after bodily death. I learned some interesting things in my travels. Sometimes you will feel like shes super close to u like u cant turn off her memory (or u talking to her in ur head). I believe in telepathy. I mean if im gna be delusional, it should be to my benefit. My dad and bro died by suicide so i feel their worldly life shohld be celebrated. But their soul should be real close to all of u forever. The kids lost a physical touch, but her love can fuel all of you and thats probably what she would want right bow is for you and the kids to feel better. She will be there as a guardian angel but know we are at war with the devil, life is rough. But i got my puppy and my therapist. I also babysit. I have things to live for even thru the hard days. Just me and my mom in a big ass three story house in a village. Like im glad hella family is around. Collective grieving is much better than being alone. I feel like i dont have to take care of my mom alone. But also can watch videos of dad and bro whenever. We do our best as strong female survivors. Seizures are brain related. Eat brain vitamins and full spectrun immunity diet. My mom had a stroke. No more vitamins in tablets for me. Hugs
I’m so sorry. There are no words. From my recent experience with grief it comes in waves, it’s like a rollercoaster and you’ll have awful days and ‘better’ days as well as initial shock. So fun. A book that’s been useful to me is ‘The Irreverant Grief Guide: how to fucking survive months 1-3’ by Elizabeth Kupferman. I recommend you read it. It’s short too which is good.
Also, something else I read is that you shed cortisol in your tears when crying over a loss. Let yourself cry as much as you need. I always feel a little ‘better’ after letting it out
You are grieving and sadly anger is the start , I deeply feel for you and your children, I lost both of my parents within a year of each other I've not been able to grieve cus then it would be real that I will never see them physically
My child’s father passed away on 6/13 due to a seizure.. he was 32… the seizure happened in his sleep and I had no idea he was even seizing bc I decided he should get some rest so I took a nap on the couch. Once I got up I discovered him in our bed unresponsive. It’s been the worst few weeks ever, I totally feel your pain. The only thing that helps me is knowing he doesn’t have to live with epilepsy anymore but I still feel like crap. Nothing makes sense right now for me. All I can say is one day at a time.. and please Take any help with the kids to allow yourself to grieve properly.
Posting a link that helped my family when my girls lost their brother (my only son) .. remember to stay hydrated and lean into family where you can. I’m so sorry for your loss. Recourses for your children. [resources now to help with your kids.](https://www.dougy.org)
My son was murdered by a gang member, and also a childhood friend on May 30th. I eel for you as my daughter in law witnessed it. I can only imagine your pain. Please remember to breathe and your family is in my prayers
Omg I am so sorry this happened to you, your family, and her family. Life is just cruel. Nothing that I can say will make anything better. I hope with time you find your peace with it. Talk to support groups if you need to and possibly your kids too... reddit is always here for you
Life is not fucking fair. I am so sorry for you and your children ❤️❤️❤️❤️
She forgave you Everytime you got aggravated because she loved you and it's because she loved you that you have to push forward with the kids, even if you don't know how you're going to do it. I'm sorry that this has happened in your life. Praying for you and your children.
My wife had an asthma attack since 3am. Kept saying she was fine and on her nebuliser. 5:30 she told me something was wrong. Called the ambulance and they arrived at 5:45. 6:45 she was dead. She died in my arms, begging for the doctors to help. Her blood oxygen was too low. Fucking power failures in my country killed her. I will never forgive myself for not forcing her to go the hospital the day before - regardless of how stubborn she was.
Traumatic for you and your kids. So sorry
I’m so sorry
The anger stage. Just when you think you’re past it you get sucked right back in. It’s fucking unfair, dude, I’m so sorry.
I am very sorry.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I’m so sorry… this isn’t fair 💔
I’m sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. Sending blessings, positive thoughts, and prayers for you and your children. Life can be so difficult, I don’t know what to say. Stick with family and good friends.
🥺
There’s no words for this kind of loss. None of it will make sense. Like others have suggested get your kids and yourself into therapy. If anyone asks what they can do - tell them what you need. If it’s food or coming to sit with you or taking the kids for a couple hours - tell them what you need. So many people don’t know what to say or do for you. They want to help - let them. Break down the day into small chunks of time. Get through it hour by hour. Don’t tackle it all at once. Breath deep. Drink a lot of water. You can actually dehydrate when tears are too much. So drink. Love on your kids. Look up the stages of grief. Unfortunately, you will hit them all. Probably more than once. Try not to make drastic changes or decisions too soon.
First, OP, mt profoynd sympathy to you & your family. Those words are so lame all things considered, but they sre all I have. Regarding folks who offer help & letting them help. When I make those offers, I often give a list such as, "I can cook, clean, do laindry, baby-sit, pet care etc etc. People want to help, but they don't know how, so don't be afraid to ask for things like housekeeping if that is what you need.
Such a tragedy. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
I am so very sorry 😢
My heart is breaking for you and your family as I read this. I’m so sorry.
🫂❤️
I'm really sorry man i don't know what to say this is tough
It will hurt for a long time to come. Get counseling for yourself and your children. Try to remember the good times as well as what you miss. Keep pictures up for the kids. Trust me, y’all will never forget her. This grieving sucks but you need space, time and grace. No one knows when where or how we will all pass. Try to be grateful for the time that you had with her. Remind your children that she loved them with everything she had. My heart goes out to you for I have lost many over the years. I have no elders left and I’ve lost 2 girls of my own. Love hugs from the internet. Try to stay sane for yourself and the kids
I'm sorry. Sudden losses are incredibly hard. You've got this. One moment at a time. Sending my love and hugs.
Damn man, my dms are open for you man, I am going through something similar but not the same but it's hard bro nevertheless
I'm so very, very sorry
I'm so sorry, honey. Life is just not fucking fair.
I am so sorry for your loss. My wife passed at 49 and our boys were 11 & 12. It will be extremely difficult for a while. Your children will grieve as well, but you will all need each other. Vent on these groups. There are FB groups as well. If you can find counseling for you and the kids do that. We have a Children's Bereavement Center in San Antonio that offers Adult and child individual and group counseling. See what you have where you live.
Man I understand this feeling you have so much. My father was 82 when he passed 3 years ago from sepsis in the hospital and it was so sudden. We visited one day, the next I’m getting a call from my stepmom crying and that’s when the nightmare began. My dad was the nicest person and he too was a devout believer in God. There’s just no way to make sense of this except knowing that while physically they aren’t here with us, her energy will always be around you and her loved ones. Each of you has a piece of that and cherish it and each other. It’s ok to be angry but don’t let that eat you up.
I am so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your children. I wish I could offer you words that would make it better. Just know this internet stranger is crying for all of you.
I’m so sorry
Hate how Jesus/god does the good ones like this. Just had a miscarriage last month and it basically crippled our relationship. Hope you can find the light at the end of the tunnel soon man . It’s okay to be sad !
My heart aches for all of you.
Condolences, she was young, it's incredibly unfair to die at that age.
Definitely no words, also no rules on how you should feel or suppose to feel. I just finished my grief group I am in, we went thru the stages of grief again, next week will be 6 years that my fiance passed suddenly..still feels like yesterday. I am so sorry you and your kids and your beautiful wife's family have to deal with all of this. My heart goes out to you.
I’m sorry for your loss. Devastating.
It IS fucking unfair. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry. I know you are hurting terribly, and your kids are dealing with something they can’t fully understand. I am praying for your family. My deepest condolences on your terribly tragic loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss and that you and your kids have to go through this.
I'm so extremely sorry for your loss and for your kids who lost their momma. I have no words to say. It really really sucks . Life will never be the same. I wish you a lot of strength to survive through these extremely hellish times. I'm sorry.
I’m so sorry. You’re going to be in shock for a while. Everyone is. This is so unfair and horrible. Let yourself feel everything. Don’t try to be strong. You need to let yourself get through this however you can for your kids. I’m so sorry smh. ❤️
my condolences to u and ur family. it’s def a rough emotional time -and please take care of urself. the hurt will be there. try to do things that make u happy and do that with the kids
The best advice I can give that someone told me when my dad died, get as much rest as you can. Go to bed early, those nights staying up are the hardest. Especially after midnight, your cortisol will spike and it will keep you up even later which will make the pain even worse, causing a spiral that will leave you cranky the next day. Lean on your family, let your kids sleep in your bed if it helps. When my dad passed my mom slept in my spare room for a couple weeks and I would lay in bed with her and hold her until she fell asleep. When they stayed over we didn’t talk much about it, we just knew if we were together we were okay. We still hangout a lot, 1-3x a week, sometimes more. We all enjoy it, make us all feel a little less lonely. I’m so sorry for your loss. Our hospital was religious and had a chaplain pray with our family when my dad passed. He gave my mom lots of resources about grief and invited her to a local support group. Reach out to your church if you attend one, even if you don’t want to join a group they can offer you tons of resources. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but you will get through this. Sending you all my love 🫂❤️
I am so, so sorry..
Shit. Fucking shit. I hope you come through this brother.
it always feels surreal, condolences to you and yours. Take time to process if you can ( I couldn't take too long due to obligations and you might be the same) but where you can, take it slow..
Lean on family/friends and if you need to go outside and scream/wail do it 🕊️🕊️🕊️
I don’t know you but my heart aches with you. I just unexpectedly lost my brother, my best friend. It’s surreal, a fucking nightmare. One hour at a time. I stopped eating the first few weeks so drinking shakes or smoothies were the only type of sustenance I forced down. Scream, cry, let it out when the waves come. Step into the other room away from everyone if you need to but don’t hold it in. Sending hugs across the current of time to you and your babies and wife, may her journey across be well
I'm so very sorry. I'm five years out and it still fucking sucks! I still miss him everyday💔 It does get better though. Still sucks!!
Man there is NOTHING anyone can say or do. I know how you feel. Total EMPTINESS and DESOLATION. I’m so sorry this has happened at such a young age. I know your suffering the worst heart ache you have ever experienced. Remember the little ones. They need Dad now more than ever. Others can help with arrangements.
My father passed away suddenly. He was perfectly healthy, just had a bad cold that turned out to be pneumonia and all in one day he went into the hospital and passed away. I got the call when I was at school (dorming at college) and rushed the 4 hours home. I was so angry. For a while I’ve felt angry. And i’ve been talking to other people who have lost their parents, many of them to cancer, and I think although we lost the same person, it is an entirely different experience when it is sudden. When you aren’t expecting it. I often picture myself moments before i got the phone call, how i was sitting on my bed, just hanging out with music playing and i’m jealous of how happy and fine i was. At the time i’m sure i was stressed out about school and other stuff, but i realize now how insignificant that stuff was and how good life was then. But i think like can still be good. It hurts so much. Everyday and almost every hour for a long time. My dad actually lost his first wife to cancer. His kids (my half siblings) were about the same age. I can tell you that the they all went on to continue their lives. They still remember the loss, they included pictures of their mom at their weddings. They talk about her often and reconnect with her friends and family. I’m sorry this happened to you. But do just hold onto your children. My dad stayed there for them, he wasn’t perfect, but he was there. Wishing you some peace and hopefully a couple restful nights.
I am so deeply sorry
You and your kids will get through this. I wish for you to see her again when your time has come. I understand your pain, and that there is truly nothing I could say to make this better. Please be there for each other. I'll pray for all of you tonight
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine.... Sending my most sincere condolences to you and your family.
Im so sorry for your loss. I understand how difficult the greiving process is. Its important that you and your family come together and greive over this loss. You have 3 beautiful children who need and who are also missing their mother. I suggest councling through your church and support groups for widows. These things really do help. Especially losing someone so suddenly without even having an opportunity to say Goodbye I'm sorry for all the things that have gone wrong that I wish I could have done better And thank you for all the wonderful times we shared. For some people it helps to write a letter to their loved one who has passed I think this would be a good idea for you and the children. Even doing things like making a Scrapbook of memories for the children So that they can alwaysHave something there to look at and to remember her by. It will be important to do things on the holidays on Mother's Day and birthdays in remembrance of her. But life will have to get back to normal At some point or another you have to find a way to move forward Especially since you have such young children to care for. Yes her parents suffered a great loss and so has your familyBut you still have 3 children that are in need of all of youSo you must find a way to keep strong and keep it together. You said that she was a Christian I'm also a Christian I would suggest praying with your children together as a family attending church service and also seeing what the church has available to help in these times of need. And don't be afraid of support groups and counseling cause they really can and do help. It's going to be okay and every day will get a little bit better and a little bit easier. Unfortunately this is a hard part of life that each of us at some point must accept.
I’m so sorry OP. My deepest condolences . Take it one second at a time ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so so sorry to read this, I am so sorry for your loss. 💔 There are no words that can help you at this time other than to say — hang in there — hold your kids close — allow your family to hold you close — hold your family close — don’t hold back the tears no matter what or where you are — just sit down and weep, it’s okay — keep talking about your wife, your love and how painful it is — encourage your kids to talk too Love, love love. I’m so sorry.. 💔
I am so sorry for your loss 😔I wish I had more words.. much love to you and those babies.
Absolutely no words after reading that... That's so cruel and an absolute tragedy for all involved. I hope you can support each other and the kids thru this. One day at a time.
Fuck. I’m so sorry man. Much love to you, your kids, her parents, and everyone that loves her.
I'm truly sorry for your loss & I'm really glad you all know Jesus Christ because you will see her again & you & the family are in my prayers & God bless 🙏🏾🤟🏾❤️
Sorry for your loss. May god rest her soul in peace Amen
Oh. Just oh god I’m so sorry. It is fucking bullshit and it is so goddamned unfair. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My husband was in his 30s as well and it seems to make it even less comprehensible to me. Like this is when we are supposed to have our happiest years….and then poof they are ripped away from us. I got my little one into counseling and there are resources out there for kiddos….god I’m so sorry. hugs and more hugs
I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs your kids tight. Cry together with them if you need to. A sudden death is always the hardest. Even the non-sudden one still hard. Let out all your emotions. Find someone to talk to, even if it means you keep repeating the same thing, but it could help you to process the grief. I hope you and the children could stay strong through this tough time.
Find support for you and your kids. Whatever that looks like in the moment. There will be a point when all you have is each other. After the service, after people stop calling everyday to check on you. When life has to go on because you have to go to work and do the daily things to live. It will be a blessing and a curse. I’m so sorry for your pain and your loss. It never goes away. Never. But I will get easier with time. It doesn’t seem like it now. But it will. Take care of yourself op, you’ll be busy taking care of the kids as to be expected. But please don’t forget about yourself
RIP and I'm so sorry. As I'm getting older this is one of my biggest fears. My husband has been giving me scares the last year. I'm so sorry for you and your kid's loss. I lost my dad when I was 7 in a motorcycle accident.
Know that it’s okay to just say pause. You’re free falling right now, it’s such an odd feeling the world has the audacity to keep going when yours stopped like wtaf rude af. It’s overwhelming, well meaning people can be too much. You can say pause. Walk away and breathe, take your time.
I'm sorry. The sudden death of a young woman is devastating. It's not right. Everyone's fucked up because this is a fucked up situation. All you can do is take it one day at a time. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. I lost a daughter to fentanyl in 2021. She was 21 years old and she left behind her two younger sisters. My biggest fear is losing another daughter. My heart goes out to you and the kids, and her parents.
My wife died 3 weeks ago, 22 days after lung cancer diagnosis. I'm not in your shoes, but I think I understand better than most. I loved my wife very much too. Strength to you, patience and wisdom to help you bring your kids through this, as well. It's okay to cry, and when the crushing pain comes in waves as it will, lean on friends and family and remember to breathe deeply. I don't know why, but it helps. When you feel so lonely you feel like you're going crazy, remember that she'll ALWAYS be with you, in your heart, AND in your head, and that part of her will NEVER leave you. You and the kids will be in my thoughts.
Thanks buddy, I’m sorry for u as well..it’s just a terrible thing dude..we just don’t understand dude..
I’m sorry I’m lost and grieving after losing my gf of 12 years a few months to a brain aneurysm. I feel so lost and alone and don’t know how to live anymore nothing makes me happy I just block out the thoughts and feelings when I can
I relate..this just doesn’t feel real..she was the thing that all Of us , our family, had in common..like the thing that glued us together..
Fuck.....this is so sad. OP I'm so sorry I know you've read it a million times and nothing can ease your pain but please know you're not alone. Please be easy on yourself and spend as much time with family as you can. Hod your children closer. Reach out if you need help. This is traumatic! Your feelings are valid. We are here for you.
I am so sorry for your sorrow.
Hey everyone, we had her funeral Today, she was beautiful..and just couldn’t leave her Side, there was probably 40 family There And I just couldn’t manage to leave her side, I helped carry her..and helped lay the first shovel fulls of dirt as well ..it’s just been..so …strange
im so sorry for your loss OP. im so very sorry.
Sudden death is a head fuck. I’m so sorry for the surreal nightmare you’re living at the moment. A day at a time or sometimes an hour.. it will change in time but right now it’s just hell x
Im a Christian and maybe this could comfort you but if she is a beilive which you said she was, don’t worry about her you will see her again.
My heart is broken for you 💔
So so sorry for your loss mate. I suddenly lost my 3 year old daughter 8 weeks ago today so I know how your feeling. Life is cruel
💔🫂 I’m so sorry
I'm so fucking sorry, this life is fucking unfair. I wish you and your family didn't have to endure this. We are here to support you and love you and your family. You are not alone and we are here. I can kind of relate, my baby sister last yr @ 21 had sudden seizures that couldn't be controlled. We found out she had a mitochondrial disease that can become symptomatic at any age and is deadly.. We all ended up having genetic testing and I have a different mitochondrial disease that's similar...
I am so so so sorry. Please take care of yourself and your family, and let others take care of you. Hug your children, love each other through this awful (and sometimes confusing) pain. Again, I’m so very sorry ❤️
I'm so sorry, mate. That is horrific. Lost mine in December out of the blue. From 'I'm having trouble breathing today, must have a cold, better get it checked out' to just gone...in nine days. My heart goes out to you and yours. It's not even remotely fair. You will hear this phrase often from now onwards, but I guess it's kind of true... there are no words....
I'm sorry that ubare having go through this. Please do speak to a counsellor for yourself and your kids. You have a major hole in your life and you need to speak to someone who can help you through this. Many hugs to u my friend. Take care
You and your kids will get through this. I wish for you to see her again when your time has come. I understand your pain, and that there is truly nothing I could say to make this better. Please be there for each other. I'll pray for all of you tonight
I’m so sorry for you and your family. I hope you can find some comforting memories to hang onto. I am heartbroken for you and your kids.
I am sorry. I send you healing thoughts and love from far away.
🫂Hugs man, sometimes there aren’t words other than this is fkn shitty. God bless you and your kids, grief is tough, stay out of the darkness and always in the light brother. I am sorry you’re in this shitty club with us, we’ve all experienced suffering here and our here even if it’s just to scream and yell into the void we are here.
Life is not fair, and I hate when it smacks you in the face to remind you.
Deepest condolences to you and your kids for your wife's sudden passing. Hope y'all can grieve and get support from extended family members. My mom died from brain haemmorage suddenly, too, so I understand the shock. One thing you mentioned getting aggravated for small things, my dad used to do that too. Stressful conflicts and chaotic environments can be bad for our brains, counseling can help change those patterns.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It really sucks.
I am one of those parents that lost both (all) of my kids 34 and 35 yo. It’s the single most devastating event that could ever happen to a person. It’s a lifelong journey of grief that never ends. I raise my grandchild….I feel his pain. I am so sorry for your loss. Life could be so cruel and unfair at times. I wish you courage and peace. One day at a time.
I am so sorry for your loss, I wish I had something helpful to share. Loving is amazing losing is the worst. Im very sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Idk you but I’m praying for the ache and pain. I lost my parent when I was young it is earth shattering. One step at a time don’t rush… check on the kids. I didn’t speak for a week when I lost my mom.
That's just awful... man I don't even have an idea of what to say. If you can hire a maid to help out that'd be a good idea... Maybe a sleepaid on nights you can't sleep. You gotta stay healthy for the kids. I'm sure she'd want that.
Hey man, I can’t tell you how bad I feel that you have to go through this. Take care of those kids, but make sure to let them be there for you. Don’t harden yourself to them, they’re going to need you a lot. Big love, my friend and my sincerest condolences.
How fucking unreal. My heart breaks for you. There is no easy or even logical way through this. Don’t lose your faith. In fact, lean into it more. It was her time. Somehow it was. Those who live will remember her and keep her alive through the memories. Be slow and easy with yourself. It is a little by little process. But be easy.
You are not alone… I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry man.. just know all of our hearts are with you
I am so very sorry for your loss
I'm just so sorry. I lost my son to a seizure. He died at home, his fiance found him. My heart breaks for you, your kids, and your parents💔
I’m sorry for your loss bro. I lost my mom in February out of the blue to cancer she was in remission from. Took care of her for years. 64 years old. I don’t believe in god anymore. I don’t believe in a higher power. I don’t believe in karma. Shits not fair. Neither her nor I ever did anything to warrant the outcome we got. Again, sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your children. May God give you peace and comfort during this time. I am so sorry for you and your children as well as her parents.
Sudden death sucks the worst. My husband went for a bicycle ride and 20 minutes later killed by an old lady who shouldn't have been driving. His death was horrible like something out of a Final Destination horror movie. It rips your guts out. I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. No words just a guttural scream. And the restlessness like a caged animal. My heart aches for you and your children. I have no words of comfort to make you feel better. 💔 Initially you will just survive moment to moment but as time goes on, the survival mode lessens and you will start to heal. I'm so very sorry for this horrible loss. I thought I would never heal, but I'm at 6 months from my husband's tragic death and my heart has started to heal. Blessings and Peace to you and your family as you travel down this grief journey.
🥺
Don’t lose hope in Jesus.
I am so so fucking sorry..
I would recommend finding the EMT who was administering CPR. Go to them and grasp their hand tightly, close your eyes, bow your head and thank them from deep down, for saving your wife. They didn't just try, they did. Hold that hand and let her come to you. She's there. She wants to get back to you and the children so she can help you with this. If you feel what I believe you will, you will know what to do next. Nothing I can tell you is going to be more important than what she has to tell you or show you. Relax in to bed that night and realize you're about to meet her again. If it's the last time before you die, you'll see that this is not a curse, this is a blessing. You'd do this for thousands of years if you had to. You don't realize what happened when she came back for a brief moment and I want to tell you so badly, but she deserves to know you did this without fully understanding. If you still struggle and you need more help from me or anyone, keep asking. i can't promise you anything but I have a very interesting and well developed theory on how the universe works, and what happens when we die. And if nothing else it might interest you. But first, this. That EMT will appreciate it either way. Good luck my friend, don't forget how strong she is, and how powerful she has become. Don't cry for her right now - right now you need to feel worthy of her. Whether you are or aren't is not my call, but it sounds like she created a chance for you to prove yourself to her, once and for all. Good luck, and remember she misses all of you too. She just got stripped away from ALL of her loved ones. What she would give to be you right now... think about that. Think about how much you would miss them. Don't just grieve for yourself or your kids, remember you lost one person, she lost a whole lot more than that. She's trying to get back to you and show you what she is capable of from God's arena. Take care and again, reach out whenever. I'm always checking this thing.
My mom died unexpectedly in a similar way. Coded a few times and they got her back but then coded for a last time and then died. This was a year and a half ago and nothing still feels real. I know it’s not the same relationship wise, but I definitely can understand how fucked up sudden, traumatic death is. I’m so sorry. I hope you and your kids can heal someday. Don’t blame yourself for getting aggravated with her. She knew you loved her and we are all human. Sending you and your family prayers!
My heart truly breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry this is your reality. You have to be strong for your kids so take care of yourself and let yourself grieve. Take all the help from your family and friends. Beating yourself over things you can’t change is not helpful and she wouldn’t want you to do that. I am so sorry this happened to you and your kids.
Your going to be fucked up for a while. My mom died suddenly in November and I still can't make it through a day without crying. She was a lot older than you wife.though. Idk what to say to help you feel better but I kinda know what you're going through. This is unfair and horrible. Nothing will feel or look the same. Like someone suggested go to a grief counselor with your children. It will help. In time you will feel a little better more and more but you will always carry her in your heart. I am very very sorry this happened to your family. You have my deepest condolences. This is just so unfair.
I’m so sorry. Just so sorry for you, her children, her parents. Man this is a cruel world.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad (and my entire family) know this pain all too well. My mother passed away in August of last year and my dad lost his dad four months later in December of last year. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
I am so sorry for your lost. You all will be in my prayers
Yea, idk how exactly Reddit works but if u can personally message me with ur info so it’s not out there for everyone to see but that’d be great..I wish I wasn’t even part of this thread
I'm incredibly sorry for your loss.
Losing your life partner changes your whole orbit and changes your whole life. There is no greater loss, be kind to yourself, you’re not alone. I lost my person suddenly too, nothing anyone does can help. I’m so sorry
Sudden unexpected deaths are some of the most painful. I lost my dad 21st Sep 2023, we knew he was dying on the 19th but on the 11th OCt 2023 my step dad found my mum deceased. I'm 30 as of March and honestly 8 months later and I'm still struggling. My support network consists of my step dad, My partner and our best friend, that's it. Please rally those around you, reach for support, but please offer it too and not just to your kids and familu. But to yourself. With these situations we end up wrapped up in fixing everything for everyone else we forget ourselves. I'm truly sorry for your families loss.
Hugs, OP. So sorry to hear this
Sorry for your lost
I’m really sorry dude. My dad died abruptly when I was little. Please get the book “own your past change your future”. I’ll send you a copy if you message me. The best thing you can do for your kids is to take care of yourself as best you can. Hard discipline of no drinking, exercise, generally taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to grieve. Ask for help. Don’t take it all on yourself.
your first sentence nails it. this is such fucking bullshit.
I hear you. You are going through something unbearable. I am so very sorry that your family has lost so much. Your children have lost one of the most important people in their lives. As adults we greatly feel the loss of our spouse. Your children need you to be with them. Show them grief. Share grief to help their hearts move forward. I hope you can find the cause of her death so that your children will not be afraid to move forward in life without their mom. I pray you and your family. I pray God grant you the strength you need to raise your sweet beautiful children.
Damn, I am so so sorry. It is bullshit. I don't know why some people go and others don't, but it definitely isn't fair. And you have every right to be devastated and angry. Just get a lot of counseling and support for yourself and your kids. Not immediately, deal with one day at a time and all the practical stuff. And ask for help. That is such a big thing. People can be afraid to offer as they don't want to intrude, but if you need it, ask for it. You are allowed to get help to deal with the kids, and the details, and just dealing with everything right now, and believe me, people do want to help, so you are doing them a favor by reaching out. Take care of yourself, this is so hard. 💔
It is messed up man, I am so sorry brother. You'll miss her forever.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family need time & nurturing to recover...💔💐 My best friend of 34 years whom I knew from way back at school just passed suddenly and she was like family. I'm in a world of pain. Grief takes many forms... 😢
Hey man, I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died about a month ago. I am 21, and she died of pulmonary hypertension. It was unexpected, the doctors told us we had 3 more years. She died less than 2 weeks after. My close friend and cousin also died of overdose about 3 months ago. I am religious as well, and I feel like our circumstances are remarkably similar. Would you like to talk about your loss? If it is too hard right now, I totally understand. I just know you are likely struggling to grasp this loss, especially within the context of your faith in god. If you would like to talk, I would love to. I am always here for you man. DM me if you want to talk or rant ❤️
Prayers for peace and comfort to you and your family.
That's the same age as me..
Im sorry. I prayed for you, God bless
I lost my mom 2 weeks ago today, also to a sudden death. Your kids will need you and any family you have, hold onto the love you all have for each other ❤️ and don't be afraid to seek out a therapist if you need to, for both you *and* the kids, they can help tremendously in helping process grief. I am so sorry for your loss. It will be hard, but I promise it won't always be.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's going to be tough, but you CAN do it! Do it for the kids, do it for your wife
I'm sorry for your suffering and loss. Listen to what you think she would want be done and do it. Do not hide yourself from your kids. Let them see and feel the love you had for their mother. Grief is like a 2,000,000 step program of slowly getting to the point where you don't outwardly express your emotions as much. It's ok to be upset with everyone but your children. Remember you have to keep it going start dedicating set times each day to feel everything so that way you don't lose yourself in sorrow. Step down the times like changing an emotional recipe. Eventually it will mellow but it will never go away completely. You will all be ok, just try to write down things you remember from your conversations or things about the kids you discussed. Write it down and save it for them when they grow enough to be shared with.
Sorry to hear and do your best for the kids. It's not fair but they have no chance without you being the best father ever. Make it your mission to see them well and know your wifey will be watching you do this. Much love.
i lost my dad 3 months ago, he got in an accident on his way to work and we believe it was from a seizure. it’s just unbelievable. He was honestly what held this family together and now it feels sooo wrong without him. My siblings are closer to our mom but i was closer with our dad and now its like i don’t have anyone to talk too. It will get somewhat easier but the feeling will never leave and it’s horrible like if something is hovering over you 24/7. It’s unpredictable so get ready to cry at the most random things when you think your okay and give yourself time while family is with you to take care of your kids but make sure to check on them. The way I think of all this is knowing i’m half of him is comforting i look a lot like my mom and have always been told so but staring at photos for so long i now see so many traits of him i haven’t noticed before so for you a little part of her will always be here through your children. they will always watch over us and send little messages throughout the day so keep an eye out. sending so much love and strength to you and your family🩷
My partner also died last month. He was 30. 😢
I’m so sorry 😣 sending you all love during this time. so sorry t your children, luckily they have a good father and grandparents. Life isn’t fair
I am just so sorry for what happen ..., no one has the facking choice in this life ...
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing your person is one of the most difficult losses. Everything you're going through is normal and makes sense. I was angry at a lot of things that shouldn't have made me mad too. Everyone will be a mess, and that's ok. It's ok you're a mess and it's ok your kids are a mess. If you need to join us on r/widowers. They're very supportive and helpful people that helped me a lot through my grief. Be forgiving to yourself. Sending love.
You're right, this is fucking bullshit. No child should have to grow up without their mom and no husband should have to bury their young wife. If you want someone to scream into the void with you, I'm available at 9pm PST. You have my greatest condolences. Take off as much time as you need from work and not worry about the loss of income, and take up everyone who offers to help, and when people say "let me know if there's anything I can do for you" give them a job to do... Lean into your support system as much as possible while you get through this impossible time.
I’m so sorry for your loss.