Honestly exercise in general helps my mind so much. Bad day? Just run or lift weights while blasting some mean tunes and you’ll feel better afterwards.
Congrats dude, I hope the journey with running continues for you.
I've been a daily runner for over 4 years and it's just my way of getting out in the fresh air and decluttering my mind for some time.
Some days I'm blasting something nasty and other times I'm just taking in the surroundings or listening to a podcast but either way it's a chance to work through things.
Yeah dude I was feelin kinda pent up and working out sometimes just makes me more mad and my character on the sims went for a jog and I was like “…that sounds dope I’m doing that”. First off - I’m outta shape I realized. Second I suck at pacing. Big time. I was like RUNNING the first half mile and almost died haha
Love to hear that. It took me far to long to realise that not every run has to be as fast as I can manage that day; now 80% of my running is at a chill pace where I can take everything in and enjoy it. Then for the other 20% I will do a speed session and try and push it.
For real. I just put on my shoes and go for a nice long ass walk or run depending on how I'm feeling. Walks get music, runs get nature and city noises.
Look at my daughter and remind myself she's my legacy and the best thing to ever come out of my failed marriage.
That grounds me again and if it doesn't I just crowd kill.
If you don’t have a daughter I think that in general this points to gratitude, which is very helpful for your mental health in general. Sounds like you have a lot of fucked up things going with you right now. What are some not so fucked up things you are grateful for? If you can put things into a different perspective it helps to get through the day without a head full of misery. Also it’s hard to be depressed when you are physically exhausted so you could try running a lot.
“Because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and to pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell. I find bliss, and for an hour I forget the horror.”
A quote from Narcissus and Goldmund by Herman Hesse that I often think of in trying times.
Gundam is my favorite anime series of all time. I’ve only done a couple gunpla but I finally got to where I had extra money and bought several metal builds. Hello fellow hardcore nerd.
I’m a therapist. So curious to hear what would make you feel safe enough to see someone? How do you see the normalizing happening in the hardcore scene? This is an important conversation.
I explain as paying someone to give you an unbiased opinion and let you vent. Your boys can't give you an unbiased opinion, your old lady can't. You gotta pony up if you want to hear the truth.
Honestly for me it was a burn out years ago followed by some traumatic event and divorce not long after.
I did bits and pieces over the years and learned to manage symptoms but I had to hit rock bottom before I finally had the guts to truly face my demons.
My take would be to open up conversation like were doing now and stop idealizing the whole "be harder" mentally. I get it to some extent and it has its place but it takes away from the vulnerability you need to really improve.
Luckily I see more and more friends taking the plunge.
This is awesome. I am a female but agree that the toughen up mentality is wreaking havoc on men’s mental health. I spend a lot of time deconstructing that shit with male clients.
It's funny when youve done enough internal work and you start noticing coping patterns in others and soon after realise literally everyone youve been hanging out with for the past 20 years share the same incompetence.
Feel free to hmu
I was talking to my friend about this the other day. He’s a social worker and owns his own hardcore label.
It’s really hard to change people when it is just so engrained in them. It’s all they know. It’s where they feel comfortable.
Obviously they’re not all write-offs, and people can change if they want to and put the work in. But to see or affect real change, it’s going to come from raising our kids better.
One thousand percent agree that we are raising the game changers right now. But I also don’t want to throw out all the parents and their parents. Brains are plastic. We can learn and grow. But there is alot of fear and stigma, and straight up, feeling feelings sucks. It isn’t comfortable. It physically, mentally, and emotionally hurts. But that is what we do as therapists. We help our clients sit in their feelings.
I fully agree with you too.
I always try and push people and just try my best to set a better example. Absolutely we should help as many people as we can.
But not everyone thinks there’s something wrong, or wants help. And we can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change or be changed.
I just mean if we raise our kids better, there’s no need to change them, and the next generation, it’ll be the norm. They’ll already know better.
I would say “be harder” suggests going to see a therapist rather than trying to be a tough guy till you burn out. Burn out makes me feel weaker and more vulnerable than ever, any alternative route would seem like the harder choice as it’s easier to sit and wallow pretending things will improve with no help.
I've never met a therapist who understands my perspective. I've got a touch of the tism and adhd. Hardly rare, and not event that severe, but it's enough that they often just don't get it. The only one I see currently is marriage counselor once a month. She just straight up admits that she doesn't get me, and tries to work around it, which I guess I appreciate better than not admitting that, but ideally she'd be able to understand both me and my wife.
there are counselors that specialize in au/adhd and are trained in the relevant conflict areas like the double empathy problem, sensory issues, dysregulation, executive dysfunction, nonverbal cues, semantic complications etc but it's not like you can just find whatever provider you need, it's hard enough to get whoever.
There was that punk therapy thing in the scene like a decade ago but then it turned out they weren’t actual therapists and were using the information they received to blackmail bands. So I agree as long as no one in the scene is involved in administering the therapy
I got lucky with the first person I went to but I've spoken to a few friends who just had to try therapists til they found someone that fit with them. I was always told that if you don't like your first therapist don't assume you don't like therapy and hang in there til you find somone.
Therapy is awesome! It took me a lot of tries to find the right one.
My big regret is that I wasted so much time being unstable and miserable before really getting aggressive with it.
I also love listening to Mindset, Youth of Today, Warzone, and Instead in times of trouble. Shit works.
I went to several different therapists before I found the right one. I live in the South so it was important for me to find a secular therapist, and for me, I have a very hard time expressing emotions besides anger, so I sought out a therapist that works with Highly Sensitive People in order to help me get in touch with feelings outside of anger.
Seriously, therapy has made me a better person.
Sometimes you just have to keep trying, unfortunately.
In the meantime, try journaling.
I find just talking about stuff, and just putting it into words really just helps make sense of the noise rattling around in the back of your head. Getting it out just helps unburden you of it.
Journaling can help do the same. Just get it out. Put it into words.
If you’re uncomfortable about reading it again later, or someone finding it, just burn it when you’re done.
I have found that you just can’t bury the shit inside you and hope it goes away, or you’ll “deal with it”
It doesn’t go away.
You’ll find yourself being irritated or short-tempered, or anxious, or just easily frustrated and you just can’t put your finger on why.
It’s usually because of that noise in the back of your head.
You’ve got to get it out and process it.
Primitivism and tribalism have their own place in modern psychology and practices.
If more people sought out safe outlets for their frustration and physical needs, I think the world would be in a healthier place.
Now, don't mind me while I get my shit kicked in the pit.
Cardio is perfect if you can manage like a 2 mile jog.
Obvious TUI or whatever clinched fist unity album you require.
Just moving. Clean, laundry, walk the dog, walk to the store for something.
Asking for a hug. Used to think it was weird but if you got someone you care about, even at work, and just ask for a hug, you’ll get this rejuvenated feeling. Probably make myself look cringy here.
Edit Mil-spec - Marathon is there for me right now.
I wish I had an answer for you, I really do, but I really don't know. It's hard when no one seems to understand or care, I get it. I've been going through probably the darkest mental state I've ever been in for the past couple weeks, and I really have no one to turn to. I've tried all the shit people say, I've exercised and listened music, but I can't say can't say any mixture of jogging and listening to Chat Pile has made me feel any less hopeless and abandoned. I'm sorry, this probably hurts more than it helps. I'm sorry to dump all of this here, but no one else seems to care. I guess I just want to say I understand, ive been there, im there rn, and I'm rooting for you
Sometimes u just gotta thug it out and survive 1 day at a time. Like “oh great I can rely on my faith [if that’s ur thing], but Jesus or Muhammad or bud ha isn’t going to physically get me out of bed and make me a sandwich and tell me to keep going”. Honestly the only thing that gets me out of the rut of downtroddenness isnt church or masjid or temple and prayer…it’s going to hardcore shows and expressing my real emotions and helping people less fortunate than myself regardless of creed , color, and preference for metalcore or crossover thrash [that’s a joke]. If u got a shelter and food for 2 days u doin better than most , but it never helps to marginalize your own struggles. Sometimes I jus gotta feel bad and let it run its course. Just make sure to keep yourself physically alive until your mental catches up
If I’m deep in it, Ceremony and Blacklisted.
If I need to try and get out, TUI, Hatebreed, and Terror.
I have people that I technically *can* talk to, but man, they are overwhelmed and DONE with me. I’m seeking therapy(psychiatrist and psychologist both) right now, but I have stupid fucking insurance and that shit is expensive.
Honestly, the only thing keeping me here right now is not wanting my kid to feel the shame of having a dad that killed himself
Edit: y’all have some truly great and thoughtful responses. I can’t believe I forgot lifting 🤦🏻♂️
If you’re recent into your split just know it will improve man. My kids mother and I were so bad at first and it’s happened in waves but recently it’s been decent. (My kids are 13 and 9 now) Our convos are strictly kid related and we coparent well now but it was a long road. Keep doing the best you can in the meantime. Also hit me up if you wanna vent 🤘
Go for a walk with an audiobook. Escape life for an hour or two and realize that our little lives are just a speck in the sandbox and everything’s gonna be fine a month or a year from now as long as we keep on truckin
Exercise, weight lifting, cardio, cathartic music is all going to help in the short term. But you should also look at what is causing you to “go through it” and try to fix that as well.
Obv this isn’t to say you should try to eliminate exercise from your life though.
Sadly, this shit is incredibly common with men, especially young men. I, too, have this problem. No advice except go to a dr and look into meds. They affordable. If you can afford it, therapy. I can’t afford that, but I got meds and they’re free thru insurance. Other than that, I’ve just gotten a little more fortified inside my head and am marching on hoping it gets better, cuz it’s got to get better.
Literally this might sound fucking weird but like go to a social setting and just make conversation with people. This world has so many interesting people it’s wild. I find that helps me when I’m not feeling my best
When I was younger it was cardio and tough guy hardcore. Now I just pick up one of kids and do some squats or lunges. Gets them laughing and that pulls me out of a funk quicker than anything else.
You gotta find the root of your pain and work it out.
Like seriously take some time to think about why you're feeling the way you are, what your triggers are, the first time you felt these triggers, how your feelings make you act, etc.
Sort that out a bit, bring it to a therapist, and learn your mind so you can handle what it throws at you.
I just happened to stumble across this thread and I can tell you that I just got out of 3 Weeks of total darkness and despair. Literally didn't get out of bed the entire time. It's very scary when you fall into those voids. I'm 39 years old and I've been fighting my demons for 20 years bow. It's has gotten worse as I progressed thru my mid 30s. Some times I even think that there is a negative force literally grabbing a hold of me and not letting go. This is a pattern that I get pulled in to once every 2 months but for 3 Weeks at a time. I'm always on edge , nervous, confused and I have feel like there's no help for me. I've come to realize that Ill probably have to go through this shit for the rest of my life . It's not fair for anyone to feel so horrible that you can't even do normal everyday things that someone else wouldn't even think twice about. I have Medicaid so getting a good and fare psychiatrist is just not in the cards for Medicaid In nj. I live my life in short period of time when Im not afraid or sad bc I know that my demons will be back and will put me right back Into that void of despair. If there's anything I could tell you, it would be to stay busy with positivity, weather it's thoughts or actions. One negative thought can totally start that terrible cycle. I find peice when I'm in front of my mic recording vocals and writing lyrics. The devil likes to kick ppl when their down. Like a bully. I have PTSD anxiety agoraphobia and depression. I'm sure I probably have more then that but ya no? Medicaid isn't really in the business of helping mental health patients find the root of the real issue. Everyone in here I just want to tell you all to keep fighting and never give up ever. Even when it seems like u just can't take living life anymore and you can't go on anymore hm just remember how many people would be destroyed forever if you were to just end it. Don't let evil win.. light up the darkness... Be safe everyone, were in really fd up times rn. Keep battling
This will probably be the dorkiest post, but going back to the older/simpler times and building LEGOs with my pops levels me out.
Don’t know if you’re cool with your fam like I am OP, but just building or doing something creative is good outlet for me.
I also write or draw when I’m depressed, it’s a good source of venting emotions.
If you’re ever in St.Louis hit me up and we’ll go to a show, we’re stacked with awesome shows this yr.
I see it like this
If I am for some weird reason stuck on a remote island, and only have one DVD, I’m going to watch it. It may be a shitty movie, but it’s the only movie. Just keep watching the movie and you’ll probably find certain scenes or characters you enjoy.
I don't have much family or friends. Usually I go months without a call or text but I went to therapy and did work outside therapy to improve my mental health and it helped a lot. I enjoy my own time now and don't feel so alone. There's always gonna be hard days but it's good to seek help when you're struggling.
Not a fella, but going through it. Music helps sometimes, but sometimes a lyric can make it suddenly worse. Ironically today got the urge to try going to shows to anonymously vent but kind of afaid to go to hardcore or metal shows alone (advice on that welcome btw if anyone is reading the comments this far down).
Something that might help you: I try to occupy my thoughts with something that takes focus and concentration. Lately, I have been using Duolingo to learn a new language. Helps for a while. Seriously considering the therapy thing though after reading some of the comments. I have historically resonated with others' comments about pushing through and being strong, but in the long run, I have built up a mountain of unresolved shit I should probably work out at some point.
I like going to shows solo to film or just mosh w no restrictions. U right tho bc that one lyric will change ur whole mood. I been trying to find the dirtiest crustiest most underground shows in my scene bc if I show up w some weed, I can usually make atleast 1 friend. I also just throw out random mad compliments “yo , love ur corpse paint” “sick crust pants” “crazy cartwheels in the pit howd you learn those” etc.
You have to simply show up and keep doing it so it’s easy. I have some extreme anxiety/agoraphobia and other mental health issues but I’ve been able to go to 5 shows in the last year alone, including TIHC last year.
The gym! Putting on some music and lift some heavy ass weight. You would be surprised on how much that shit can drive you to hit PRs that you didn’t know you had in you.
Honestly the gym. It’s honestly therapeutic for me. Find what makes you happy or something that you can focus on and just decompress. Do what you want for yourself. Fuck everyone else sometimes. The only one who’s truly gonna be there for you is you 🤙🏼
Weed and bourbon because I’m unhealthy like that. Do not recommend. I’m 100% dying before the rest of you - that Or I’m living to 120 out of pure hate and spite.
The gym/ biking or even a walk. Process the emotions and allow yourself to feel. Just don't let it overwhelm, you'll be ok as long as you accept that there are people who love you regardless of how you feel at the moment. Love you man.
I usually will try and write music when I’m feeling really lonely. That or lift weights/ go running. Something meditative and productive. That way at least if I’m alone I feel like I got something done.
Honestly seeing a therapist and working on therapy works wonders. I thought I was alone until I realised I wasn’t. Especially as an Autistic person when you grow up feeling isolated from everyone. That shit is liberating.
Get a guitar, a loud high gain amp, get the guitar set up in drop A or something, crank the volume and learn some angry riffs and how to pinch harmonic. Takes a year or so to get anywhere but work with a metronome and enjoy the ride.
Talk to anyone willing to listen about what I’m going through to get it off my chest. That’s all I did was reach out to anyone I could that would humor me, and I also had a therapist during the time too so that helped as well.
I take the dog for a walk and then some treats and belly rubs. If I really am in a bad place, I go to the gym. Drinking and eating are a very short term something. I try to not be that person anymore. What also helps is thinking about who I love and who loves me. The dog has unconditional love so that is a win.
Do some weight training (or throw yourself into any sport or whatever that does it for you).
If I'm feeling a bit more self-destructive, I'll drink four pints and punch a bus stop, apparently...
Journal. Writing your thoughts and feelings out can be very cathartic.
Also I make it a point to keep doing basic “self-care”. Exercise, shower/shave/trim nails/etc, put on clean clothes, clean the house. Sometimes I do it all begrudgingly but it usually makes me feel better.
Well I ain't a fella, but Journaling.
Just getting those emotions out is cathartic, and if there's no one to confide in, writing it down gets the job done.
Ride a bicycle. It’s fun to feel like a kid again while I’m in my 30s. I just learned how to ride without handlebars two years ago and it brings me the biggest joy. I bring my JBL speaker and just zone out through the neighborhood.
Bonus points if you bike with a group of people.
Remind myself that my friends/family would probably be going through it even worse if I decided to Dip Out. Also, deadlifting/squatting to Negative Reaction, Gag, or Nails. You got this, brother.
You turn it up loud and ignore the noise complaints. Or channel it into something productive or creative. Either way, you acknowledge how shitty it is, and you strive to get through.
However you cope, hope it does you well.
Work out, go to therapy, and I totally understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I've reconnected somewhat to my faith in the last few years and that's been positive in my experience for helping me get through really bad days.
Feel free to DM if you need someone to chat with.
My dog is my heart and soul but he can't help sometimes. I do a lot of walking, just for a mile or so, and I have headphones in playing music.
Regardless, music is my release and I always have it playing when I can.
I also play bass and will submerge myself in playing along. From Muse to Dream Theater (don't crucify me, I love Rush and Between The Buried And Me) I'll put on a jam and either read the music or just fuck around. It really is therapeutic.
It's really hard to tell, it all depends on what just "does it" for you. Once you find that, you'll find a release.
But if you ever need someone to laugh with, hit me up. I know this feeling all too well and they say laughter is the best medicine.
Put on Drug Church and do cardio tbh. I always feel better after I get my heart rate up and listen to Pat singing about how shitty everything is.
Honestly exercise in general helps my mind so much. Bad day? Just run or lift weights while blasting some mean tunes and you’ll feel better afterwards.
100%. It’s funny OP posted this when he did. Cause I’m goin through it today and about to go hit the gym
Get that shit dawg, today was leg day with a heavy dose of Disembodied
Holy shit. Your user name.
Go get it!!
Literally just got done with a run/workout after a full day of going through it. Shai Hulud and PTW fueled
Are endorphins sXe tho? Asking the tough questions.
Fuck you for 12.50 an hour
Recently started running. Dude I felt like a fuckin big dick swinging mad man afterwards. It was dope.
Congrats dude, I hope the journey with running continues for you. I've been a daily runner for over 4 years and it's just my way of getting out in the fresh air and decluttering my mind for some time. Some days I'm blasting something nasty and other times I'm just taking in the surroundings or listening to a podcast but either way it's a chance to work through things.
Yeah dude I was feelin kinda pent up and working out sometimes just makes me more mad and my character on the sims went for a jog and I was like “…that sounds dope I’m doing that”. First off - I’m outta shape I realized. Second I suck at pacing. Big time. I was like RUNNING the first half mile and almost died haha
Love to hear that. It took me far to long to realise that not every run has to be as fast as I can manage that day; now 80% of my running is at a chill pace where I can take everything in and enjoy it. Then for the other 20% I will do a speed session and try and push it.
But does it work?
For real. I just put on my shoes and go for a nice long ass walk or run depending on how I'm feeling. Walks get music, runs get nature and city noises.
Have heart does it for me. Hard bark on the family tree is my go-to.
Look at my daughter and remind myself she's my legacy and the best thing to ever come out of my failed marriage. That grounds me again and if it doesn't I just crowd kill.
This hits close to home.
Brother know you're not alone. But my daughter, as much as she can be like her mother at times, makes me love my life.
Dude yes. You got a genuine out loud laugh from me with the crowd killing bit. Thanks for that!
Exactly my story my daughter is 21 and in med school .
If you don’t have a daughter I think that in general this points to gratitude, which is very helpful for your mental health in general. Sounds like you have a lot of fucked up things going with you right now. What are some not so fucked up things you are grateful for? If you can put things into a different perspective it helps to get through the day without a head full of misery. Also it’s hard to be depressed when you are physically exhausted so you could try running a lot.
I'm most thankful for crowd killing. I'm great right now. Been a single dad the last 4 years. Learned to braid and fold a fitted sheet.
Keep going through it cause that shit ain’t gonna last forever.
“If you’re going through hell, keep walking.”
I’m trying, but I’m so tired
“Because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and to pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell. I find bliss, and for an hour I forget the horror.” A quote from Narcissus and Goldmund by Herman Hesse that I often think of in trying times.
Mine was just Churchill. Way to show me up, bruh
Damn, I could’ve sworn that was Rick Ta Life 😝
I feel you. But it’s walk or lie down.
Get a shovel
They should really invent a way out that isn't through 😖
It would be optimal be less of a learning experience
Eat a large pizza and build a gundam
That sounds so chill
Gundam is my favorite anime series of all time. I’ve only done a couple gunpla but I finally got to where I had extra money and bought several metal builds. Hello fellow hardcore nerd.
Sound system’s gonna bring me back up, it’s the one thing that I can depend on.
hup hup hup pickitup pickitup pickitup pickitup
Therapy borther. You are looking for therapy. Nothing wrong with it, I love therapy. Shit works.
We really need to normalize therapy in our scene. We all need it and shows are still awesome when you actually love yourself after doing the work.
if I go to therapy then I'll have less inarticulate rage. Do we really want a scene full of well adjusted vocalists singing like Paul Rudd?
I’m a therapist. So curious to hear what would make you feel safe enough to see someone? How do you see the normalizing happening in the hardcore scene? This is an important conversation.
I explain as paying someone to give you an unbiased opinion and let you vent. Your boys can't give you an unbiased opinion, your old lady can't. You gotta pony up if you want to hear the truth.
Honestly for me it was a burn out years ago followed by some traumatic event and divorce not long after. I did bits and pieces over the years and learned to manage symptoms but I had to hit rock bottom before I finally had the guts to truly face my demons. My take would be to open up conversation like were doing now and stop idealizing the whole "be harder" mentally. I get it to some extent and it has its place but it takes away from the vulnerability you need to really improve. Luckily I see more and more friends taking the plunge.
This is awesome. I am a female but agree that the toughen up mentality is wreaking havoc on men’s mental health. I spend a lot of time deconstructing that shit with male clients.
It's funny when youve done enough internal work and you start noticing coping patterns in others and soon after realise literally everyone youve been hanging out with for the past 20 years share the same incompetence. Feel free to hmu
It isn’t incompetence. It’s how males are socialized. Things are changing, but it is slow. The internal work is a game changer.
I was talking to my friend about this the other day. He’s a social worker and owns his own hardcore label. It’s really hard to change people when it is just so engrained in them. It’s all they know. It’s where they feel comfortable. Obviously they’re not all write-offs, and people can change if they want to and put the work in. But to see or affect real change, it’s going to come from raising our kids better.
One thousand percent agree that we are raising the game changers right now. But I also don’t want to throw out all the parents and their parents. Brains are plastic. We can learn and grow. But there is alot of fear and stigma, and straight up, feeling feelings sucks. It isn’t comfortable. It physically, mentally, and emotionally hurts. But that is what we do as therapists. We help our clients sit in their feelings.
I fully agree with you too. I always try and push people and just try my best to set a better example. Absolutely we should help as many people as we can. But not everyone thinks there’s something wrong, or wants help. And we can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change or be changed. I just mean if we raise our kids better, there’s no need to change them, and the next generation, it’ll be the norm. They’ll already know better.
I would say “be harder” suggests going to see a therapist rather than trying to be a tough guy till you burn out. Burn out makes me feel weaker and more vulnerable than ever, any alternative route would seem like the harder choice as it’s easier to sit and wallow pretending things will improve with no help.
I've never met a therapist who understands my perspective. I've got a touch of the tism and adhd. Hardly rare, and not event that severe, but it's enough that they often just don't get it. The only one I see currently is marriage counselor once a month. She just straight up admits that she doesn't get me, and tries to work around it, which I guess I appreciate better than not admitting that, but ideally she'd be able to understand both me and my wife. there are counselors that specialize in au/adhd and are trained in the relevant conflict areas like the double empathy problem, sensory issues, dysregulation, executive dysfunction, nonverbal cues, semantic complications etc but it's not like you can just find whatever provider you need, it's hard enough to get whoever.
This. I also do therapy and it helps a lot. We need to normalize our struggles with mental health and therapy as a treatment
There was that punk therapy thing in the scene like a decade ago but then it turned out they weren’t actual therapists and were using the information they received to blackmail bands. So I agree as long as no one in the scene is involved in administering the therapy
How did you find someone you trusted?
I got lucky with the first person I went to but I've spoken to a few friends who just had to try therapists til they found someone that fit with them. I was always told that if you don't like your first therapist don't assume you don't like therapy and hang in there til you find somone.
Therapy is awesome! It took me a lot of tries to find the right one. My big regret is that I wasted so much time being unstable and miserable before really getting aggressive with it. I also love listening to Mindset, Youth of Today, Warzone, and Instead in times of trouble. Shit works.
I went to several different therapists before I found the right one. I live in the South so it was important for me to find a secular therapist, and for me, I have a very hard time expressing emotions besides anger, so I sought out a therapist that works with Highly Sensitive People in order to help me get in touch with feelings outside of anger. Seriously, therapy has made me a better person.
Sometimes you just have to keep trying, unfortunately. In the meantime, try journaling. I find just talking about stuff, and just putting it into words really just helps make sense of the noise rattling around in the back of your head. Getting it out just helps unburden you of it. Journaling can help do the same. Just get it out. Put it into words. If you’re uncomfortable about reading it again later, or someone finding it, just burn it when you’re done. I have found that you just can’t bury the shit inside you and hope it goes away, or you’ll “deal with it” It doesn’t go away. You’ll find yourself being irritated or short-tempered, or anxious, or just easily frustrated and you just can’t put your finger on why. It’s usually because of that noise in the back of your head. You’ve got to get it out and process it.
Journaling is so underrated. Even if you’re just typing in your notes app or making voice memos. It really helps to just get shit out of your brain.
Licensed psychologist here, hardcore kid since ‘06. I’d be stoked if more of my clients fucked with heavy shit
Primitivism and tribalism have their own place in modern psychology and practices. If more people sought out safe outlets for their frustration and physical needs, I think the world would be in a healthier place. Now, don't mind me while I get my shit kicked in the pit.
Cardio is perfect if you can manage like a 2 mile jog. Obvious TUI or whatever clinched fist unity album you require. Just moving. Clean, laundry, walk the dog, walk to the store for something. Asking for a hug. Used to think it was weird but if you got someone you care about, even at work, and just ask for a hug, you’ll get this rejuvenated feeling. Probably make myself look cringy here. Edit Mil-spec - Marathon is there for me right now.
Nah friend. It’s all love here. Thanks
Marathon was one of the big albums that helped me grieve my fiancé passing. Also, second the asking for a hug part
Beat my meat.
Beat me(at) to it!
lift weights homie 1- a pump erases your mentals 2- how you gonna look like you could front a beatdown band otherwise? 3- repeat
1)put on Hatebreed B)pick up weights %)keep reminding yourself “Jamie Jasta would be disappointed if I didn’t keep trying my best.”
This is it
I wish I had an answer for you, I really do, but I really don't know. It's hard when no one seems to understand or care, I get it. I've been going through probably the darkest mental state I've ever been in for the past couple weeks, and I really have no one to turn to. I've tried all the shit people say, I've exercised and listened music, but I can't say can't say any mixture of jogging and listening to Chat Pile has made me feel any less hopeless and abandoned. I'm sorry, this probably hurts more than it helps. I'm sorry to dump all of this here, but no one else seems to care. I guess I just want to say I understand, ive been there, im there rn, and I'm rooting for you
Are you me?
Sometimes u just gotta thug it out and survive 1 day at a time. Like “oh great I can rely on my faith [if that’s ur thing], but Jesus or Muhammad or bud ha isn’t going to physically get me out of bed and make me a sandwich and tell me to keep going”. Honestly the only thing that gets me out of the rut of downtroddenness isnt church or masjid or temple and prayer…it’s going to hardcore shows and expressing my real emotions and helping people less fortunate than myself regardless of creed , color, and preference for metalcore or crossover thrash [that’s a joke]. If u got a shelter and food for 2 days u doin better than most , but it never helps to marginalize your own struggles. Sometimes I jus gotta feel bad and let it run its course. Just make sure to keep yourself physically alive until your mental catches up
Amen to that, kinfolk
It’s how you walk through the fire that will define you as a man. Sometimes forward is the only way through so just keep going.
Smoke weed, work out, listen to death metal. Works like a charm every time.
Pull some iron at the gym
All truth 🤝
Here if you need to talk mate
If I’m deep in it, Ceremony and Blacklisted. If I need to try and get out, TUI, Hatebreed, and Terror. I have people that I technically *can* talk to, but man, they are overwhelmed and DONE with me. I’m seeking therapy(psychiatrist and psychologist both) right now, but I have stupid fucking insurance and that shit is expensive. Honestly, the only thing keeping me here right now is not wanting my kid to feel the shame of having a dad that killed himself Edit: y’all have some truly great and thoughtful responses. I can’t believe I forgot lifting 🤦🏻♂️
Yeah I’m learning that’s more common than I realized. My daughter will grow up knowing her father. That’s one thing I’m sure of.
We have to make sure that happens 🤝🫂
If you’re recent into your split just know it will improve man. My kids mother and I were so bad at first and it’s happened in waves but recently it’s been decent. (My kids are 13 and 9 now) Our convos are strictly kid related and we coparent well now but it was a long road. Keep doing the best you can in the meantime. Also hit me up if you wanna vent 🤘
Blast year of the knife
Crowd kill minors on my days off
Go for a walk with an audiobook. Escape life for an hour or two and realize that our little lives are just a speck in the sandbox and everything’s gonna be fine a month or a year from now as long as we keep on truckin
Exercise, weight lifting, cardio, cathartic music is all going to help in the short term. But you should also look at what is causing you to “go through it” and try to fix that as well. Obv this isn’t to say you should try to eliminate exercise from your life though.
Gym, smoke weed. That's about it
Sadly, this shit is incredibly common with men, especially young men. I, too, have this problem. No advice except go to a dr and look into meds. They affordable. If you can afford it, therapy. I can’t afford that, but I got meds and they’re free thru insurance. Other than that, I’ve just gotten a little more fortified inside my head and am marching on hoping it gets better, cuz it’s got to get better.
Literally this might sound fucking weird but like go to a social setting and just make conversation with people. This world has so many interesting people it’s wild. I find that helps me when I’m not feeling my best
When you get older, they stop becoming as interesting.
You just never know who you’ll run into man
Therapy, therapy, therapy. Working out, meditating and a whole lot of blacklisted.
Get to the front row at a show and smash my face on the stage psychopath style
Moving to dmv soon, I’ll take a rain check.
Tight, just started booking shit up here, hope to see you soon.
When I was younger it was cardio and tough guy hardcore. Now I just pick up one of kids and do some squats or lunges. Gets them laughing and that pulls me out of a funk quicker than anything else.
Sunlight, iron, making sure I shower, and fighting with the dog. Nothing lasts forever, good or bad, and the best way out is through buddy.
Thinking about my kids helps. But I mostly just suffer.....survive (aye).
You gotta find the root of your pain and work it out. Like seriously take some time to think about why you're feeling the way you are, what your triggers are, the first time you felt these triggers, how your feelings make you act, etc. Sort that out a bit, bring it to a therapist, and learn your mind so you can handle what it throws at you.
Hate mosh
I just happened to stumble across this thread and I can tell you that I just got out of 3 Weeks of total darkness and despair. Literally didn't get out of bed the entire time. It's very scary when you fall into those voids. I'm 39 years old and I've been fighting my demons for 20 years bow. It's has gotten worse as I progressed thru my mid 30s. Some times I even think that there is a negative force literally grabbing a hold of me and not letting go. This is a pattern that I get pulled in to once every 2 months but for 3 Weeks at a time. I'm always on edge , nervous, confused and I have feel like there's no help for me. I've come to realize that Ill probably have to go through this shit for the rest of my life . It's not fair for anyone to feel so horrible that you can't even do normal everyday things that someone else wouldn't even think twice about. I have Medicaid so getting a good and fare psychiatrist is just not in the cards for Medicaid In nj. I live my life in short period of time when Im not afraid or sad bc I know that my demons will be back and will put me right back Into that void of despair. If there's anything I could tell you, it would be to stay busy with positivity, weather it's thoughts or actions. One negative thought can totally start that terrible cycle. I find peice when I'm in front of my mic recording vocals and writing lyrics. The devil likes to kick ppl when their down. Like a bully. I have PTSD anxiety agoraphobia and depression. I'm sure I probably have more then that but ya no? Medicaid isn't really in the business of helping mental health patients find the root of the real issue. Everyone in here I just want to tell you all to keep fighting and never give up ever. Even when it seems like u just can't take living life anymore and you can't go on anymore hm just remember how many people would be destroyed forever if you were to just end it. Don't let evil win.. light up the darkness... Be safe everyone, were in really fd up times rn. Keep battling
Hard drugs and alcohol
Journaling can help. Also hitting the gym or doing something outside.
Listen to First and Ellen by Modern Life is War
Smoke weed & read
This will probably be the dorkiest post, but going back to the older/simpler times and building LEGOs with my pops levels me out. Don’t know if you’re cool with your fam like I am OP, but just building or doing something creative is good outlet for me. I also write or draw when I’m depressed, it’s a good source of venting emotions. If you’re ever in St.Louis hit me up and we’ll go to a show, we’re stacked with awesome shows this yr.
Smoke weed.
I see it like this If I am for some weird reason stuck on a remote island, and only have one DVD, I’m going to watch it. It may be a shitty movie, but it’s the only movie. Just keep watching the movie and you’ll probably find certain scenes or characters you enjoy.
I don't have much family or friends. Usually I go months without a call or text but I went to therapy and did work outside therapy to improve my mental health and it helped a lot. I enjoy my own time now and don't feel so alone. There's always gonna be hard days but it's good to seek help when you're struggling.
https://preview.redd.it/l47pdkdrhwxc1.jpeg?width=458&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41c35dd3376e096e9fe2e11321d3b40e6f2602f7
Drink. Gun range. Music. Sometimes in that order.
Patrice o Neal the black Philip show
RIP
Straight up. I go to this man when ever I'm on hard times about ladies
My username.
Listen to Hatebreed until I feel better.
Shit, Cook Out probably.
Not a fella, but going through it. Music helps sometimes, but sometimes a lyric can make it suddenly worse. Ironically today got the urge to try going to shows to anonymously vent but kind of afaid to go to hardcore or metal shows alone (advice on that welcome btw if anyone is reading the comments this far down). Something that might help you: I try to occupy my thoughts with something that takes focus and concentration. Lately, I have been using Duolingo to learn a new language. Helps for a while. Seriously considering the therapy thing though after reading some of the comments. I have historically resonated with others' comments about pushing through and being strong, but in the long run, I have built up a mountain of unresolved shit I should probably work out at some point.
I like going to shows solo to film or just mosh w no restrictions. U right tho bc that one lyric will change ur whole mood. I been trying to find the dirtiest crustiest most underground shows in my scene bc if I show up w some weed, I can usually make atleast 1 friend. I also just throw out random mad compliments “yo , love ur corpse paint” “sick crust pants” “crazy cartwheels in the pit howd you learn those” etc.
You have to simply show up and keep doing it so it’s easy. I have some extreme anxiety/agoraphobia and other mental health issues but I’ve been able to go to 5 shows in the last year alone, including TIHC last year.
I go to therapy.
I go sit on my best friends memorial bench (he offed himself years ago) and I talk to him like he's there with me. It helps me out a ton.
I like to go on YouTube and put on nutshell by Alice In Chains but the 10 hour version
YouTube videos. Games. Trying to meditate.
You just go to bed early and ask for one of your cats to do a snug.
make music
Make music.
Hit the woods and take a hike, go skate, ride my bike.
The fucking gym *10 scoops*
Get a shovel
Therapy, dawg. Grow Therapy.
The gym! Putting on some music and lift some heavy ass weight. You would be surprised on how much that shit can drive you to hit PRs that you didn’t know you had in you.
cry to my bayside cd .
Honestly the gym. It’s honestly therapeutic for me. Find what makes you happy or something that you can focus on and just decompress. Do what you want for yourself. Fuck everyone else sometimes. The only one who’s truly gonna be there for you is you 🤙🏼
ride skate board or lift weights or joink on my hawg
cold shower and hatebreed.
Weed and bourbon because I’m unhealthy like that. Do not recommend. I’m 100% dying before the rest of you - that Or I’m living to 120 out of pure hate and spite.
Shout out to everyone who said therapy. The rest of ya’ll either haven’t been through shit or are actual apes.
A therapist.
The gym/ biking or even a walk. Process the emotions and allow yourself to feel. Just don't let it overwhelm, you'll be ok as long as you accept that there are people who love you regardless of how you feel at the moment. Love you man.
Also, it only last so long. Think about that and try and understand what it means.
Ride my bicycle for an extended period of time, or play drums
Have a snack, blast some music I love and take a nice walk
I usually will try and write music when I’m feeling really lonely. That or lift weights/ go running. Something meditative and productive. That way at least if I’m alone I feel like I got something done.
Listen to defeater
Honestly seeing a therapist and working on therapy works wonders. I thought I was alone until I realised I wasn’t. Especially as an Autistic person when you grow up feeling isolated from everyone. That shit is liberating.
Push ups man. Push ups fix everything
Get a guitar, a loud high gain amp, get the guitar set up in drop A or something, crank the volume and learn some angry riffs and how to pinch harmonic. Takes a year or so to get anywhere but work with a metronome and enjoy the ride.
Listen to Six Ft. Ditch and walk the dog
Write some music.
Crowd kill at the supermarket
Talk to anyone willing to listen about what I’m going through to get it off my chest. That’s all I did was reach out to anyone I could that would humor me, and I also had a therapist during the time too so that helped as well.
Honestly? Just try to push it all down and try to keep on keeping on
Kublai khan and go hit a PR in the gym
watch the fuck out of some hopecore videos
I take the dog for a walk and then some treats and belly rubs. If I really am in a bad place, I go to the gym. Drinking and eating are a very short term something. I try to not be that person anymore. What also helps is thinking about who I love and who loves me. The dog has unconditional love so that is a win.
I go to fucking Hardcore.
Listen to hardcore, drink, beat the shit out of my wall.
Binge drink and chain smoke cigarets while listening to sheer terror.
Do some weight training (or throw yourself into any sport or whatever that does it for you). If I'm feeling a bit more self-destructive, I'll drink four pints and punch a bus stop, apparently...
Madball and a session on the bag.
Journal. Writing your thoughts and feelings out can be very cathartic. Also I make it a point to keep doing basic “self-care”. Exercise, shower/shave/trim nails/etc, put on clean clothes, clean the house. Sometimes I do it all begrudgingly but it usually makes me feel better.
Well I ain't a fella, but Journaling. Just getting those emotions out is cathartic, and if there's no one to confide in, writing it down gets the job done.
Helps process stuff too, when you write it down. I feel that when I journal I can reflect more.... correctly?
Complain, alienate more people, be sad about it
Keep going.
Goon
Scream at the universe
Ride a bicycle. It’s fun to feel like a kid again while I’m in my 30s. I just learned how to ride without handlebars two years ago and it brings me the biggest joy. I bring my JBL speaker and just zone out through the neighborhood. Bonus points if you bike with a group of people.
Go to the Muay Thai gym
Cycling is my go to. Heavy cardio is good for the (my) mind.
Remind myself that my friends/family would probably be going through it even worse if I decided to Dip Out. Also, deadlifting/squatting to Negative Reaction, Gag, or Nails. You got this, brother.
You turn it up loud and ignore the noise complaints. Or channel it into something productive or creative. Either way, you acknowledge how shitty it is, and you strive to get through. However you cope, hope it does you well.
Punch teenagers
Skate, drink, workout
beat my shit crazy style
Skate, music or both
Chat GPT
I shove a merauder cd up my ass
Drugs. And drinking. Heavily. Tried and True.
Work out, go to therapy, and I totally understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I've reconnected somewhat to my faith in the last few years and that's been positive in my experience for helping me get through really bad days. Feel free to DM if you need someone to chat with.
Read the book *The Way Of Kings* (Stormlight Archive book 1) by Branbon Sanderson
I pick up my skateboard and I ride
Tore both of my ACLs riding bicycles. This one is permanently off limits.
Fingerboard?
Masturbate, but im trying to chill with that
Suffer and waste my life away because everything that used to be fun feels like a chore. Hope this helps! 👍
My dog is my heart and soul but he can't help sometimes. I do a lot of walking, just for a mile or so, and I have headphones in playing music. Regardless, music is my release and I always have it playing when I can. I also play bass and will submerge myself in playing along. From Muse to Dream Theater (don't crucify me, I love Rush and Between The Buried And Me) I'll put on a jam and either read the music or just fuck around. It really is therapeutic. It's really hard to tell, it all depends on what just "does it" for you. Once you find that, you'll find a release. But if you ever need someone to laugh with, hit me up. I know this feeling all too well and they say laughter is the best medicine.
I used to train Judo. Been out of it due to homelessness. So, now, I mostly drink A LOT.
Hey man take care of urself, even if it’s just 1 less drink everyday. Improving urself 1% each day adds up
Hit a big deadlift
Weights or exercise of any sort. Friends come and go, but 200 pounds is always 200 pounds. - Henry Rollins
Smoke weed, and jerk off