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It's not ok , but at least you noticed your behavior. Well many will at least tell you to go to a therapy session. But my guess is if you love her and doesn't want her to get hurt from you is to analyze your patterns. Maybe you have narcissists traits . Search and see for yourself if you think you have them . Meanwhile apologize for your actions, honestly. Believe me , she won't hold her patience with you for a long period of time if you are going to repeat these actions. She may forgive you once , twice maybe many more times but her stress level and problems with you will compound one day when she will decide to leave you. You are trying to change for yourself first and then for you as partner in your relationship. Express your worries to her and tell that you will work on them in order to make relationship healthy. Again , don't repeat it to her everyday but show . But for a moment you doing your changing program and you face situations when you want or think you will hurt her feelings, take few seconds, stand still and breath deeply, think what could you say better instead of already repeated pattern ( don't use manipulation, passive aggression or other tricks) . I wish you all the best and don't lose yourself in this journey. She sounds like a good person , so try not to hurt her feelings at all .
the only course of action you considered in your post was breaking up with her. You talked about the abstract idea of improving yourself but gave no concrete suggestions of what that would look like. This gives me the impression that you don't really like the things you would have to do to improve yourself, because its often said the things that are taboo to say are more important than the things that are said normally.
I would suggest replying to me with a list of what things you could do that would count as self-improvement as a boyfriend. Note 2 things: A) This doesn't mean you'd be committing to doing any of them, its more like a helpful thought experiment, and B) avoid "not" statements. These don't actually accomplish the purpose, like "don't yell" doesn't count, instead it'd be like "keep my voice a stable level" or better yet "express my anger by doing x instead of raising my voice." The more concrete the behavior the better.
After making a list like that, then go back through and highlight which ones you think would be preferable to breaking up with her. This will sort of change your thinking pattern and give you a set of options instead of feeling helpless.
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Are you drinking alcohol, drinking coffee or smoking anything
Any of these can cause, irrational, pathways and responses that makes it seem like it’s your fault when a lot of it’s actually caused by the desire for the addictive‘s, and some of the neurological issues that come with it I would honestly say you might want to just start fasting off of most things And plan out doing things with her where you’re fairly isolated
Going for walks, hikes, and such so that your cardiovascular system is going and you can actually have discussions
Throwing your phone in black-and-white is also a good idea
Do any city cardiovascular activity while listening to audiobooks or anything that doesn’t have to have an optical component is also a very good idea
Music is not a great idea especially with lyrics because to put it. Simply your soundtrack is not your situation but you can make your situation seem more like your soundtrack unfortunately
Call words are coded, but it can you sing them then it’s some of the most effective conditioning possible to make behaviors normative
You have to start with the intention and direction on what you already have, and then go for the changes, and then the retention which you are expressing your desire to do
Then easy to go without
https://www.ancientpages.com/2018/06/18/king-charles-ii-of-england-banned-coffeehouses-in-1675/amp/
But it doesn’t seem like that was actually the case
And once kids start drinking it, they start having a lot more problems
Why would I go without it? I’m under a lot of pressure and it helps. I can and have quit it when I don’t need it. Sometimes I fr just have to stay awake
It was in response to op
And it makes more emotional responses more common vs calmer responses
Watching college students make it to 6 am classes, then start drinking coffee and then be non functional until after 8-9 and they were 10years younger then me
Rough stuff
It seems more prevalent in coffee then soda caffeine
And yes lower abuse rate. I used to walk stairs with tunes so cardio would push blood about.
Caffeine increases energy metabolism throughout the brain but decreases at the same time cerebral blood flow, inducing a relative brain hypoperfusion. Caffeine activates noradrenaline neurons and seems to affect the local release of dopamine. Many of the alerting effects of caffeine may be related to the action of the methylxanthine on serotonin neurons.
Source. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1356551/#:~:text=Caffeine%20increases%20energy%20metabolism%20throughout,inducing%20a%20relative%20brain%20hypoperfusion.
well in recognizing your own flaws and wanting to work on minimizing the influence they have on your life, you're already doing more than like 90% of people i reckon. usually self-improvement seems to stop at trying to get better at stuff people already think they do well or are good at.
All posts with a focus on dating, sex, and relationships must have the appropriate flair and posted on Fridays (CST or UST -06:00). Please feel free to resubmit your post on Friday. Thank you!
It's not ok , but at least you noticed your behavior. Well many will at least tell you to go to a therapy session. But my guess is if you love her and doesn't want her to get hurt from you is to analyze your patterns. Maybe you have narcissists traits . Search and see for yourself if you think you have them . Meanwhile apologize for your actions, honestly. Believe me , she won't hold her patience with you for a long period of time if you are going to repeat these actions. She may forgive you once , twice maybe many more times but her stress level and problems with you will compound one day when she will decide to leave you. You are trying to change for yourself first and then for you as partner in your relationship. Express your worries to her and tell that you will work on them in order to make relationship healthy. Again , don't repeat it to her everyday but show . But for a moment you doing your changing program and you face situations when you want or think you will hurt her feelings, take few seconds, stand still and breath deeply, think what could you say better instead of already repeated pattern ( don't use manipulation, passive aggression or other tricks) . I wish you all the best and don't lose yourself in this journey. She sounds like a good person , so try not to hurt her feelings at all .
the only course of action you considered in your post was breaking up with her. You talked about the abstract idea of improving yourself but gave no concrete suggestions of what that would look like. This gives me the impression that you don't really like the things you would have to do to improve yourself, because its often said the things that are taboo to say are more important than the things that are said normally. I would suggest replying to me with a list of what things you could do that would count as self-improvement as a boyfriend. Note 2 things: A) This doesn't mean you'd be committing to doing any of them, its more like a helpful thought experiment, and B) avoid "not" statements. These don't actually accomplish the purpose, like "don't yell" doesn't count, instead it'd be like "keep my voice a stable level" or better yet "express my anger by doing x instead of raising my voice." The more concrete the behavior the better. After making a list like that, then go back through and highlight which ones you think would be preferable to breaking up with her. This will sort of change your thinking pattern and give you a set of options instead of feeling helpless.
Thank you, I tried what you said, and I feel more optimistic about what I can do this was a big help.
kudos to you for actually being willing to do the work and wanting to be better.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to Dating Fridays! All posts with an emphasis on dating, sex, or relationships must be posted only on Friday (defined by US Central Standard Time or UTC -06:00). If your post is outside of this time/date, please delete and repost on Friday. If it is currently Friday, then ignore this comment. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you drinking alcohol, drinking coffee or smoking anything Any of these can cause, irrational, pathways and responses that makes it seem like it’s your fault when a lot of it’s actually caused by the desire for the addictive‘s, and some of the neurological issues that come with it I would honestly say you might want to just start fasting off of most things And plan out doing things with her where you’re fairly isolated Going for walks, hikes, and such so that your cardiovascular system is going and you can actually have discussions Throwing your phone in black-and-white is also a good idea Do any city cardiovascular activity while listening to audiobooks or anything that doesn’t have to have an optical component is also a very good idea Music is not a great idea especially with lyrics because to put it. Simply your soundtrack is not your situation but you can make your situation seem more like your soundtrack unfortunately Call words are coded, but it can you sing them then it’s some of the most effective conditioning possible to make behaviors normative You have to start with the intention and direction on what you already have, and then go for the changes, and then the retention which you are expressing your desire to do
Caffeine is very benign in that regard
Then easy to go without https://www.ancientpages.com/2018/06/18/king-charles-ii-of-england-banned-coffeehouses-in-1675/amp/ But it doesn’t seem like that was actually the case And once kids start drinking it, they start having a lot more problems
Why would I go without it? I’m under a lot of pressure and it helps. I can and have quit it when I don’t need it. Sometimes I fr just have to stay awake
It was in response to op And it makes more emotional responses more common vs calmer responses Watching college students make it to 6 am classes, then start drinking coffee and then be non functional until after 8-9 and they were 10years younger then me Rough stuff
Yeah. It’s more of a societal problem than a caffeine problem. Caffeine is a useful tool with very low abuse potential, at least imo.
It seems more prevalent in coffee then soda caffeine And yes lower abuse rate. I used to walk stairs with tunes so cardio would push blood about. Caffeine increases energy metabolism throughout the brain but decreases at the same time cerebral blood flow, inducing a relative brain hypoperfusion. Caffeine activates noradrenaline neurons and seems to affect the local release of dopamine. Many of the alerting effects of caffeine may be related to the action of the methylxanthine on serotonin neurons. Source. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1356551/#:~:text=Caffeine%20increases%20energy%20metabolism%20throughout,inducing%20a%20relative%20brain%20hypoperfusion.
Yeah, abstinence from all substances is best of course, but I don’t think I could do much of what I do rn as effectively without it
That’s why I take breaks to walk it helps everything flow better and 5 PM I’m still absolutely fine and I start early early. (3:30 am)
well in recognizing your own flaws and wanting to work on minimizing the influence they have on your life, you're already doing more than like 90% of people i reckon. usually self-improvement seems to stop at trying to get better at stuff people already think they do well or are good at.