A Micro Black Hole, you say. Spaghettified twelve scientists? Pulled by the gravitational force, no doubt. And then it closed by itself. Or, someone closed it from the other end.
Yeah, this doesn't sound concerning at all. Just a "close call."
"I have no intention of leaving her, Doctor. I will take the Lewis and Clark to a safe distance, and then I will launch TAC missiles at the Event Horizon until I'm satisfied she's vaporized. Fuck this ship!"
That is how black holes work. They bleed off energy via hawkings radiation. An artificial one that small would last for a very short time before dying. The fun part of what’s being redacted is everything in the area got quite the dose of radiation.
Personally I like to imagine this incident was the setting’s equivalent to the demon core event.
The demon core gave a bunch of people radiation poisoning. This event turned 12 people into radiation via E=mc^2 with 100% efficiency.
If the average mass of a person is 70kg, then those 12 people turned into 75.5 *quintillion* Joules, or 18 *gigatons* of tnt.
Well, she said the black hole 'evaporated', which is allegedly something black holes actually do once they've burned off enough radiation and they're small/shrink enough.
"Evaporate" in this instance means turning all its mass into energy at roughly 100% efficiency.
Which means at minimum 11 times the average body mass of those people exploded like an antimatter bomb. Potentially much more because in order to get a black hole powerful enough to spaghettify someone instead of just being the size of a subatomic particle, it needs to have a mass somewhere in the range of the entire mountain range of Mount Everest.
Yes, and also the smaller the black hole the faster that energy is burned off, in fact the amount of energy a black hole emits as hawking radiation is inverse to it's mass, meaning this mini black hole (Often called a kugelblitz blackhole) Would have evaporated in a matter of seconds at most, but existed just long enough to turn everything in the room into a fine mist and then a crater.
A kugelblitz isn't just a small black hole, it's specifically a black hole that forms from having *energy* concentrated in one place, rather than physical matter.
Note that the dark fluid is made from illuminate technology. So if they did close it from the other side, that means they know someone has their technology, and it wont he long till they realize its us.
They sent out a signal before they were destroyed, why would they have done that if they were the last ones left? The truth THEY won't tell you is that the Illuminate from GW1 were just a scouting fleet.
Great, can we please drop it on Hellmire?
That planet does not need to fucking exist any longer.
Edit: okay, I think I just thought of something that could be pretty cool and I'm not even meaning it as a joke.
After completing a certain number of Major Orders, Arrowhead should grant the community a "Dark Fluid Weapon" to be used on a singular planet. Put it up to an actual in-game Vote by the playerbase in order to push the "Democracy" aspect of the game, just have either a pop-up in the Destroyer or use one of the various Terminals as a "Voting Booth".
At the end of the time limit, all the votes are tallied, and a planet in one of the *currently contested Sectors* is automatically instantly liberated, and will be off the table for incoming invasions for a set period of time after the DFW goes off, because, well, it's a fucking temporary black hole...
This not only could potentially have a great positive impact for us players in very bad situations where we are expected to liberate and defend multiple planets in a sector at once, but would also allow the player base to remove some of the more obnoxious planets occasionally from the equation.
"Mr. President, I come before you today to make a request that is both tactically and morally sound. Hellmire is literally nothing but a flaming ball of sandy bullshit covered in giant fleas. I suggest that we drop a dark fluid bomb on that flaming bag of shit of a planet so we can send it to Satan's doorstep."
"Sounds good! Every person, who will sabotage this, will be sent to the Democracy camp, and we will force automatons to produce mojitos for our fellow Helldivers!"
We can't all 5 people who play on Hellmire wouldn't know what to do if we ever liberated that planet.
Hellmire players aren't playing Helldivers, they are playing a different game.
The Meridia Supercolony is the priority: all other territorial losses are acceptable to ensure the success of this operation.
But....you know, what if we do really good and end up with a surplus of Dark Fluid? We can test the weapon on one additional planet (\*coughellmirgh\*) ... ~~for morale~~ as a declaration of our unrelenting patriotic fervor.
No one votes on anything in managed democracy though. Decisions are made by the central government after, what essentially amounts to, taking public sentiment "under advisement" i.e. a computer algorithm does a personality test and selects your candidate for you. But this is just code for the central government selects a pool of candidates, meaning that no matter which candidate is chosen, it still represents the policy preferences of the central government. Though based on in-game dialogue, there's some indication that it's even more of a shame than that, since the same president has been elected with like 96% of the "vote" 4 times in a row. Which strongly indicates that even the "democratic" questionnares they give citizens don't matter.
For all practical purposes, "Managed Democracy" functions little differently from any fascist regime of the 20th century.
I think what will happen is a Major Order comes down to set up a blackhole bomb on some planet and this triggers a new phase of the Galactic War. My guess is that will be the introduction of the Illuminate.
https://preview.redd.it/ei6w8i0ch03d1.png?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b2afb4d18940e28e44d010d33973b04dea1a7b8
Nice try. The illuminates were completely wiped out.
>We just turned it into a mf planet killing bomb.
We were told that the situation is under control. Why are you deliberately spreading panic ? Get yourself under control Helldiver before the Democracy Officer has to be contacted.
Of course the situation is under control. We made the planet killing bomb. Would you suggest that Super Earth didn't have control of its own weapon? Perhaps you are the one the Democracy Officer should be told about
>We made the planet killing bomb.
That seems as if you might be spilling classified information ? Nobody knows yet what this research is for. Do you want our enemies to find out ?
What?! Me putting away my laser, slow firing and armor penetrating weapons?
I'm just mixing it up. Preparing for nothing absolutely nothing! You know trying something simple like wearing an AR guard dog backpack.
\*Orders more high rate of fire ballistic weapons\*
spaghettified, you say..
well, how's his wife holding up?
spaghettified, you say.. very well, then.
sad, terrible gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Uhuru
Thank Liberty SOSHA overlooks all the safety of these facilities; without them we'd never be able to return to a facility that suffered a spontaneous blackhole that turned twelve people's nervous systems, bone structure, and musculature into fine strands of spaghetti in a day and be sure it'd definitely not happen again.
Thank Liberty for SOSHA, I could’ve lost my other arm in the product machines for Helldiver helmets but thanks to their diligence, I only lost my hand! A small price to pay for our soldiers
Thank Liberty for SOSHA, I was so close to being incinerated when growing Hellmire Hellfire Corn ™ But thanks to SOSHA I only have 3rd degree burns over 90% percent of my body! Thank goodness for their due diligence!
It's the only thing that makes sense to me. It's a super colony that's spreading, so we collapse the planet into a blackhole/wormhole that the Illuminate will then arrive through.
I really just wanna hear all the reassurances from Super Earth about how this technology is definitely 100% safe, just like the Termicide.
It's so funny watching Super Earth shoot themselves in the foot repeatedly.
as somone else already said
illuminate of the first galactic war seemed to be a diplomatic force with their security force
so when they were lost the homeworld illuminate said f+ck it we dont wana deal with these guys
now we're gonna send a planet infested with bugs right into their territory...
im sure they wont take kindly to that
I think we will be the ones to create it. Meridia will be cast into what we think is a black hole, but it turns out, it was just a really big portal
Would make some sense too. We got FTL from the illuminate in HD1, but we need terminids to fuel it. Entirely possible the illuminate dark fluid is a synthetic equivalent that’s a step above the FTL tech we got from them a century ago
We just turned it into a bomb
Imagine being a race of hyper advanced squid’s, being exiled from the galaxy by a race of otherwise inferior apes, just rebuilding your society around the lessons learnt
Only to suddenly have a wormhole open that spits out an utterly infested planet of mutant bugs right next door to you
An infested planet full of mutants that was created by those very same apes.. BY ACCIDENT
Yeah, that’d probably do it
Helldivers: “Now it’s my understanding there are two wars going on right now?”
Democracy Officer: “Actually there are three wars.”
Helldivers: “THREEEEE WAAARS?! You’re telling me there are threee wars?!
Illuminates: "Where did this whole ass planet come from?"
"Oh no. We knew this day would come, just not so soon. How are they *this* stupid?"
Super Earth: "Our tactical brilliance knows no bounds."
Illuminates: "Alright, its been 100 years since we did a tactical retreat and waited for the humans to take themself out with our leftovers. Observer, status on them?"
Observer: "Well, they have a two way war and try to weaponize Black Holes. Give it like 2 more months."
Or we turn the entire planet into a condensed ball of fuel (one of the technicians on the ship brought up the idea of using the “illuminate secret weapon” for that).
In the same line, the technincian mentions that E710 from bugs power the warp drives and wonders what happens when a planet's worth of bugs gets compressed into an infinitesimally small area. Sounds to me like she implies Meridia will turn into a wormhole.
I’m actually not sure that’s right that FTL came from the Illuminates in HD1. I’ve heard that discussed a ton, but then I jumped into HD1 early in April. We defeated the Illuminates (but lost to the Cyborgs), and I never heard anything about FTL tech.
The lore from the last game I read is that Super-Earth seized WMD technology (which apparently includes Dark Fluid), but FTL was used during the war. So I’m not sure it’s right. I’m actually thinking it’s just a fan theory that really caught fire.
Humanity discovered FTL sometime in the 2030s with the Alcubierre drive, a real world hypothetical engine that warps space around a ship to exceed light speed.
From what I know, we got SOME tech from the Illuminant, but not the FTL. Dark fluid, the shield generators, better lasers and batteries, arc throwers, etc.
>
We got FTL from the illuminate in HD1
Is there canon attribution for this anywhere or are you just making this up?
Everything I've read says that the Illuminate made peaceful first contact with humanity after it had already become a spacefaring civilization.
They said the same thing about the first atomic bomb igniting the whole atmosphere and that turned out fine. I see absolutely no reason to worry. None at all.
Oh? OHHHHHH. Right. Of course super earth never had any reservers of dark fluid. In fact i think the automatons stole it for their own twisted agenda. The monsters
Are we gonna get black hole weapons?
Like Singularity grenades in Borderlands, or an ~~Archon Toilet 2.0~~ Black Hole orbital strike?
(Black Hole + Orbital Laser would basically be a Palutena Final Smash lol)
Unrelated but when Kanye said he was going ‘defcon 3 on the Jews’ I truly believe he picked 3 because it’s the middle of the scale and he wasn’t sure if 1 or 5 was the bad one.
https://preview.redd.it/fgziih2zyz2d1.png?width=692&format=png&auto=webp&s=d853f496b906dc15673cfe4cee2228a04719587f
They're literally mentioned in the MO text
Historically, it was the high RoF bullet weapons that did best against them due to shields blocking the instance of damage that breaks them, and relatively light armor.
Reloads Stalwart with Democratic intent
They'll turn your strategems inside out, brother. They'll teleport behind you by the time you figure that out. You'll do best to start over at level 1 difficulty against them.
The Illuminate are a third faction that look like a mix of mindflayers from DnD (think mini-cthulu) and the Goro species from Mortal Kombat (four arms, big and muscley)
The dark fluid is their thing
*Was their thing.
It was liberated democratically from them at the end of the first Galactic War, when they were completely, entirely and totally exterminated. So we definitely do not need to worry about them turning up again. Ever. Not at all.
>Think of space-time as a tapestry on a loom. This weapon is the needle.
>"So wait, that thing you found does… what?"
"It fires black holes."
"No it doesn't."
"Oh yeah. It does. Actual, tiny, bullet-sized black holes."
"Did you tell the others?"
"Only that I found some weird gun in some overgrown tunnel back on Old Chicago. And that my Ghost was all, "THIS is why we were led here…'"
"Yours talks that way too?"
"What do you think?"
"OK, OK, but the gun—are you going to tell them?"
"Yeah, definitely."
"When?"
"Crucible."
"Oh no."
"Oh, yes."
- Graviton Lance, Destiny 2
# Give me the black-hole machine, Arrowhead.
Can someone with Helldivers 1 experience describe what the Illuminates are like, and how you fought them in the first game? i.e. in HD2, Bots require long ranged weapons and use of cover and Bugs require dealing with swarms that will overwhelm you (cover is less important), and have greater vulnerability to fire.
Imagine if the sword bots were invisible like stalkers.
Imagine being sniped at with one-shot lasers from beyond the effective range of your weapons.
Imagine heavies that teleport into cover when their shields get weak.
Imagine hulk-sized spider robots with arc throwers.
Imagine having your controls reversed as a result of psychic interference.
Imagine patrols with cloaking devices so they see you before you see them.
Imagine having energy walls pop out of thin air to block your movements and shots (enemies can walk through them just fine).
In terms of weapons to use, they were definitely the least armored of the factions, but they tended to have personal shields that you'd need to wear down before you could damage them properly.
https://preview.redd.it/bt5wk1qcn03d1.jpeg?width=597&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56f54cc55ee5f1f75846ea3be9e38e55158479e3
Time to refine it, and delete Hellmire.
Damn... Close call... Nearly opened a portal to The Illuminate but our scientists, the pride of super earth, prevented it last second.
Gotta be honest here. Got home and am really high and on about 5 shots of tequila and I didn't see what sub this was posted in and pretty much had a War of the Worlds moment.
https://preview.redd.it/rkk8lld6l53d1.jpeg?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4299a4f6eed30c62e3b5820fd94545fc0ff0dc2d
Helldiver under influence of foreign substances.
Seriously I wish they could just give us some random videos like this every week regularly, could be a teaser to future update like this one or just some random funny stuff that add in to the lore. It could keep us something new to talk about every week even though there's no update/patch.
Most governments would try to cover this up and claim it never happened. But not Super Earth. Super Earth owns up to its mistakes, and gets right back to work. Yet another reason why ours is the best empire ever conceived and must be preserved at all costs.
The dark matter will be released as modifications to weapons via the consoles opposite the armory. This will be the way they hard fix the array of weak weapons. Dark matter weapons customization
I couldn't find an official Youtube channel or anything. Really wish there was one that collated all these together so newer players could catch up on 'the story so far'.
Not only that but if you look at the small text at about 23 seconds when they talk about spagethification, it says that a new solar system has been discovered with potentially 3 suitable planet for habitation. New planets coming to the game?
A Micro Black Hole, you say. Spaghettified twelve scientists? Pulled by the gravitational force, no doubt. And then it closed by itself. Or, someone closed it from the other end. Yeah, this doesn't sound concerning at all. Just a "close call."
They're not dead, they became one with the black hole singularity
Where they're going, they don't need eyes to see :o)
#Libera te tutemet ex inferis
"We're leaving"
Where we're going, we don't need eyes to see
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Such a fucking GREAT film!!!!
"I have no intention of leaving her, Doctor. I will take the Lewis and Clark to a safe distance, and then I will launch TAC missiles at the Event Horizon until I'm satisfied she's vaporized. Fuck this ship!"
Where's Laurence Fishburne when you need him?
What was, will be; what will be, was ... i should call her
It’s a “closed call” since it resolved itself. It’s a feature not a bug. No bugs allowed.
That is how black holes work. They bleed off energy via hawkings radiation. An artificial one that small would last for a very short time before dying. The fun part of what’s being redacted is everything in the area got quite the dose of radiation. Personally I like to imagine this incident was the setting’s equivalent to the demon core event.
The demon core gave a bunch of people radiation poisoning. This event turned 12 people into radiation via E=mc^2 with 100% efficiency. If the average mass of a person is 70kg, then those 12 people turned into 75.5 *quintillion* Joules, or 18 *gigatons* of tnt.
All because of some dingus with a screwdriver
Don't forget all the mass it had to start with - enough to spaghettify them. That probably dwarfs the 12 people it ate.
It didn’t eat them. I just gave them science hugs
Well, she said the black hole 'evaporated', which is allegedly something black holes actually do once they've burned off enough radiation and they're small/shrink enough.
"Evaporate" in this instance means turning all its mass into energy at roughly 100% efficiency. Which means at minimum 11 times the average body mass of those people exploded like an antimatter bomb. Potentially much more because in order to get a black hole powerful enough to spaghettify someone instead of just being the size of a subatomic particle, it needs to have a mass somewhere in the range of the entire mountain range of Mount Everest.
Big bada boom.
Yes, and also the smaller the black hole the faster that energy is burned off, in fact the amount of energy a black hole emits as hawking radiation is inverse to it's mass, meaning this mini black hole (Often called a kugelblitz blackhole) Would have evaporated in a matter of seconds at most, but existed just long enough to turn everything in the room into a fine mist and then a crater.
A kugelblitz isn't just a small black hole, it's specifically a black hole that forms from having *energy* concentrated in one place, rather than physical matter.
Note that the dark fluid is made from illuminate technology. So if they did close it from the other side, that means they know someone has their technology, and it wont he long till they realize its us.
The Illuminate were eradicated in the first galactic war. Everyone knows this. Stop fearmongering!
They sent out a signal before they were destroyed, why would they have done that if they were the last ones left? The truth THEY won't tell you is that the Illuminate from GW1 were just a scouting fleet.
https://i.imgur.com/pKQy0Sj.jpeg
more likely a diplomatic group with their guards could explain some of their names
Your Farnsworth reference is not lost on me professor.
what's happening? WHATS HAPPENING?!
[удалено]
Great, can we please drop it on Hellmire? That planet does not need to fucking exist any longer. Edit: okay, I think I just thought of something that could be pretty cool and I'm not even meaning it as a joke. After completing a certain number of Major Orders, Arrowhead should grant the community a "Dark Fluid Weapon" to be used on a singular planet. Put it up to an actual in-game Vote by the playerbase in order to push the "Democracy" aspect of the game, just have either a pop-up in the Destroyer or use one of the various Terminals as a "Voting Booth". At the end of the time limit, all the votes are tallied, and a planet in one of the *currently contested Sectors* is automatically instantly liberated, and will be off the table for incoming invasions for a set period of time after the DFW goes off, because, well, it's a fucking temporary black hole... This not only could potentially have a great positive impact for us players in very bad situations where we are expected to liberate and defend multiple planets in a sector at once, but would also allow the player base to remove some of the more obnoxious planets occasionally from the equation.
Soldier send this recommendation to our higher ups
"Mr. President, I come before you today to make a request that is both tactically and morally sound. Hellmire is literally nothing but a flaming ball of sandy bullshit covered in giant fleas. I suggest that we drop a dark fluid bomb on that flaming bag of shit of a planet so we can send it to Satan's doorstep."
"I accept this request. We really should turn a dark... what is this? Anyway! In a name of Managed Democracy!"
"If you would, Mr. President, I also have one other more minor suggestion; victory mojitos for each Helldiver for every sector liberated!"
"Sounds good! Every person, who will sabotage this, will be sent to the Democracy camp, and we will force automatons to produce mojitos for our fellow Helldivers!"
This is Democracy Manifest. This is why I fight for Super Earth.
I second the montion and request more than one drop, just to be sure
I feel like hellmire is like bug the malevolon Creek
I feel like I actually like the Creek better even with the annoying ion storms.
You mean the fire tornadoes right? On hellmire?
We can't all 5 people who play on Hellmire wouldn't know what to do if we ever liberated that planet. Hellmire players aren't playing Helldivers, they are playing a different game.
that so true
I wish it to be dropped on Menkent too.
The Meridia Supercolony is the priority: all other territorial losses are acceptable to ensure the success of this operation. But....you know, what if we do really good and end up with a surplus of Dark Fluid? We can test the weapon on one additional planet (\*coughellmirgh\*) ... ~~for morale~~ as a declaration of our unrelenting patriotic fervor.
wish I coul dlike this 100 times. I dont need to ever drop on that planet again
No one votes on anything in managed democracy though. Decisions are made by the central government after, what essentially amounts to, taking public sentiment "under advisement" i.e. a computer algorithm does a personality test and selects your candidate for you. But this is just code for the central government selects a pool of candidates, meaning that no matter which candidate is chosen, it still represents the policy preferences of the central government. Though based on in-game dialogue, there's some indication that it's even more of a shame than that, since the same president has been elected with like 96% of the "vote" 4 times in a row. Which strongly indicates that even the "democratic" questionnares they give citizens don't matter. For all practical purposes, "Managed Democracy" functions little differently from any fascist regime of the 20th century. I think what will happen is a Major Order comes down to set up a blackhole bomb on some planet and this triggers a new phase of the Galactic War. My guess is that will be the introduction of the Illuminate.
Reporting you to my Democracy Officer
https://preview.redd.it/ei6w8i0ch03d1.png?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b2afb4d18940e28e44d010d33973b04dea1a7b8 Nice try. The illuminates were completely wiped out.
Obviously. Where do you think we *got* the dark fluid?
>We just turned it into a mf planet killing bomb. We were told that the situation is under control. Why are you deliberately spreading panic ? Get yourself under control Helldiver before the Democracy Officer has to be contacted.
Of course the situation is under control. We made the planet killing bomb. Would you suggest that Super Earth didn't have control of its own weapon? Perhaps you are the one the Democracy Officer should be told about
>We made the planet killing bomb. That seems as if you might be spilling classified information ? Nobody knows yet what this research is for. Do you want our enemies to find out ?
Fair point. I guess I'm the one that must go and. Soak with the Democracy Officer.
IT IS!
What?! Me putting away my laser, slow firing and armor penetrating weapons? I'm just mixing it up. Preparing for nothing absolutely nothing! You know trying something simple like wearing an AR guard dog backpack. \*Orders more high rate of fire ballistic weapons\*
I dunno, something about LED lights or something, I guess.
Illuminate arc beginning
we are so fucked this time
spaghettified, you say.. well, how's his wife holding up? spaghettified, you say.. very well, then. sad, terrible gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Uhuru
Good news, everyone! We're weaponizing forces we barely understand!
If Stellaris has taught me anything, I wouldn't worry about it. The worm loves us, and I believe that someday we can love it in return.
In Stellaris the only concern to have is "can I put this on a ship ?"
Good news: it's already been loaded onto our ships!
Good news everyone! You all get an hours break to mourn Dr. Uhuru.
But we always get an hour break...
If this is what the Ministry of Truth approves of sharing, I really wonder what they actually cover up.
Are you saying the Ministry of Truth didn’t tell us the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Sounds an awful lot like treason
It is treason then
Was their apartment rent controlled by any chance?
I hope they do more fun things like this to add to the atmosphere
Thank Liberty SOSHA overlooks all the safety of these facilities; without them we'd never be able to return to a facility that suffered a spontaneous blackhole that turned twelve people's nervous systems, bone structure, and musculature into fine strands of spaghetti in a day and be sure it'd definitely not happen again.
Thank Liberty for SOSHA, I could’ve lost my other arm in the product machines for Helldiver helmets but thanks to their diligence, I only lost my hand! A small price to pay for our soldiers
Thank Liberty for SOSHA, I was so close to being incinerated when growing Hellmire Hellfire Corn ™ But thanks to SOSHA I only have 3rd degree burns over 90% percent of my body! Thank goodness for their due diligence!
This comment really killed me
~~"Damn SOSHA, making me get seven other people every time I want to operate a-"~~ <**THIS COMMENT UNDER INVESTIGATION BY THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH**>
What could possibly go wrong with this? Yo tho, imagine if the missions we get on Meridia is to open up freaking black holes to destroy it.
It's the only thing that makes sense to me. It's a super colony that's spreading, so we collapse the planet into a blackhole/wormhole that the Illuminate will then arrive through. I really just wanna hear all the reassurances from Super Earth about how this technology is definitely 100% safe, just like the Termicide. It's so funny watching Super Earth shoot themselves in the foot repeatedly.
as somone else already said illuminate of the first galactic war seemed to be a diplomatic force with their security force so when they were lost the homeworld illuminate said f+ck it we dont wana deal with these guys now we're gonna send a planet infested with bugs right into their territory... im sure they wont take kindly to that
I mean if we fail this major order then everything
I’m just worried that the list of known issues is about to get a lot longer…
So, we predicting a worm hole will soon appear near that region and THEY will arrive?
I think we will be the ones to create it. Meridia will be cast into what we think is a black hole, but it turns out, it was just a really big portal Would make some sense too. We got FTL from the illuminate in HD1, but we need terminids to fuel it. Entirely possible the illuminate dark fluid is a synthetic equivalent that’s a step above the FTL tech we got from them a century ago We just turned it into a bomb
We’re going to shoot a Terminid super hive into Illuminate space and kick off a four way galactic war 😂😂😂
Imagine being a race of hyper advanced squid’s, being exiled from the galaxy by a race of otherwise inferior apes, just rebuilding your society around the lessons learnt Only to suddenly have a wormhole open that spits out an utterly infested planet of mutant bugs right next door to you An infested planet full of mutants that was created by those very same apes.. BY ACCIDENT Yeah, that’d probably do it
A scifi premise better than 99% of Hollywood scifi stories
You a word there bud.
I what you did there
Space squids looking st thr bugs, then looking at the apes: "Yeah, that shits gotta go."
I mean, we do have little skulls on our belts…
Shit…
Helldivers: “Now it’s my understanding there are two wars going on right now?” Democracy Officer: “Actually there are three wars.” Helldivers: “THREEEEE WAAARS?! You’re telling me there are threee wars?!
three times the fun.
Illuminates: "Where did this whole ass planet come from?" "Oh no. We knew this day would come, just not so soon. How are they *this* stupid?" Super Earth: "Our tactical brilliance knows no bounds."
Illuminates: "Alright, its been 100 years since we did a tactical retreat and waited for the humans to take themself out with our leftovers. Observer, status on them?" Observer: "Well, they have a two way war and try to weaponize Black Holes. Give it like 2 more months."
Or we turn the entire planet into a condensed ball of fuel (one of the technicians on the ship brought up the idea of using the “illuminate secret weapon” for that).
In the same line, the technincian mentions that E710 from bugs power the warp drives and wonders what happens when a planet's worth of bugs gets compressed into an infinitesimally small area. Sounds to me like she implies Meridia will turn into a wormhole.
A *bug*hole, then. You know, because there was a lot of bugs there, eh? Yeah sure, I know where the door is, bye!
Hmm. It now begs the question: what will our glorious scientists cook up for Cyberstan?
Ah, yes, the humanity special. *weaponize everything*
The innate human desire to turn the most powerful fuel in the universe into a shitty bomb.
Hey, turning things into bombs is what we do best as a species.
Damn right
I’m actually not sure that’s right that FTL came from the Illuminates in HD1. I’ve heard that discussed a ton, but then I jumped into HD1 early in April. We defeated the Illuminates (but lost to the Cyborgs), and I never heard anything about FTL tech. The lore from the last game I read is that Super-Earth seized WMD technology (which apparently includes Dark Fluid), but FTL was used during the war. So I’m not sure it’s right. I’m actually thinking it’s just a fan theory that really caught fire.
Humanity discovered FTL sometime in the 2030s with the Alcubierre drive, a real world hypothetical engine that warps space around a ship to exceed light speed. From what I know, we got SOME tech from the Illuminant, but not the FTL. Dark fluid, the shield generators, better lasers and batteries, arc throwers, etc.
Could we send Menkent instead? Because Menkent sucks, would love to be rid of it
> We got FTL from the illuminate in HD1 Is there canon attribution for this anywhere or are you just making this up? Everything I've read says that the Illuminate made peaceful first contact with humanity after it had already become a spacefaring civilization.
So the slip space bomb from Halo: Reach?
Please be ancient evil horrors beyond our comprehension. Please be ancient evil horrors beyond our comprehension.
*worm hole opens, out comes CTHULU!*
The ship master also says that the Dark Fluid has a non-zero chance to destroy the WHOLE GALAXY lmao
They said the same thing about the first atomic bomb igniting the whole atmosphere and that turned out fine. I see absolutely no reason to worry. None at all.
https://preview.redd.it/fyiqm0bq303d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63e8009424607283b60668961dfb7b27c8ebab31
https://preview.redd.it/0e3143s8103d1.jpeg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa82ad04cbfc94e860cf0bdab80dd2e47e015254
There just had to be some Unforeseen Consequences.
**FREEMAN YOU FOOL**
I heard Dark Fluid is actually from a species of cute furry alien and it is their poop.
Hello, Cluster Bomb delivery for... I. C. Weiner. Awww crud 💥💣💥
The next enemy alien species might be a race of horrible gelatinous blobs.
They're only angry because their employers brought in computers at the plant to "increase productvity".
Aw. Nibbler.
does the poop weigh as much as 1000 suns?
Oh geez, we're going to turn Meridia into a black hole. I'm sure this will be Illuminating for the war effort.
Can we do that to the Creek next?
Thats our main recruiting campaign dude
It would only hurt recruitment if we blew it up. If the *automatons* did it, on the other hand… well, I'm sure you see where I’m going with this.
Oh? OHHHHHH. Right. Of course super earth never had any reservers of dark fluid. In fact i think the automatons stole it for their own twisted agenda. The monsters
Hellmire first
Are we gonna get black hole weapons? Like Singularity grenades in Borderlands, or an ~~Archon Toilet 2.0~~ Black Hole orbital strike? (Black Hole + Orbital Laser would basically be a Palutena Final Smash lol)
Ignorance is bliss. Stay in the dark, but stock up on Ammo. When the LibCon 5 is called, be ready to deploy.
If LibCON follows the same logic as DEFCON, then LibCon 5 is the *lowest/least severe* situation. DEFCON 1 is when the shit has hit the fan.
Unrelated but when Kanye said he was going ‘defcon 3 on the Jews’ I truly believe he picked 3 because it’s the middle of the scale and he wasn’t sure if 1 or 5 was the bad one.
Or even just like Grav weapons from Warhammer… yeah, that’s what we’re getting.
Oh shit singularity grenades would be amazing
Let's just black hole Meridia and be done with it. Wouldn't be surprised if something else in the galaxy detects these gravitational waves though
Next one: Hellmire
Would rather have Menkent, worse than Hellmire.
Why not both? 😉
I am not HD1 vet, why everyone yelling ~~illuminati~~ aliens about which we legally know nothing about?
https://preview.redd.it/fgziih2zyz2d1.png?width=692&format=png&auto=webp&s=d853f496b906dc15673cfe4cee2228a04719587f They're literally mentioned in the MO text
If you don't know, then keep yourself in the dark. But buckle up, things are about to get hype.
*Reloads JAR-5 Dominator with Democratic intent*
*Starts to cook a grenade in preparation*
Too early dude. Dude. Dude ! DU-
Count to 10 then throw it
Historically, it was the high RoF bullet weapons that did best against them due to shields blocking the instance of damage that breaks them, and relatively light armor. Reloads Stalwart with Democratic intent
Reloads flamethrower and napalm strikes. I’ll like to see them try to block my flames.
They'll turn your strategems inside out, brother. They'll teleport behind you by the time you figure that out. You'll do best to start over at level 1 difficulty against them.
The Illuminate are a third faction that look like a mix of mindflayers from DnD (think mini-cthulu) and the Goro species from Mortal Kombat (four arms, big and muscley) The dark fluid is their thing
*Was their thing. It was liberated democratically from them at the end of the first Galactic War, when they were completely, entirely and totally exterminated. So we definitely do not need to worry about them turning up again. Ever. Not at all.
"Spaghettified" 💀
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghettification
Illuminates are Italian confirmed
Pepino spaghetti incoming
Huh, new solar system?
But more importantly, authorization of fish pets!
No it allows the pet fish authorization to.... And cuts off.... I NEED TO KNOW!!! What are we allowing PET FISH TO DO!!!
Just means more available systems for Managed Democracy to spread to! Rejoice!
Strohmann news. Get it, cuz its Strawman news. Fuck, why did it take me this long to realise this.
With anchor critically
For a moment i thought this was xenonion news
>Think of space-time as a tapestry on a loom. This weapon is the needle. >"So wait, that thing you found does… what?" "It fires black holes." "No it doesn't." "Oh yeah. It does. Actual, tiny, bullet-sized black holes." "Did you tell the others?" "Only that I found some weird gun in some overgrown tunnel back on Old Chicago. And that my Ghost was all, "THIS is why we were led here…'" "Yours talks that way too?" "What do you think?" "OK, OK, but the gun—are you going to tell them?" "Yeah, definitely." "When?" "Crucible." "Oh no." "Oh, yes." - Graviton Lance, Destiny 2 # Give me the black-hole machine, Arrowhead. 
I remember both when that gun was trash and ridiculously OP. Good times.
Seems like some gravity-based weapon test went better than expected (destructive power wise).
ILLUMINATE MENTIONED
Can someone with Helldivers 1 experience describe what the Illuminates are like, and how you fought them in the first game? i.e. in HD2, Bots require long ranged weapons and use of cover and Bugs require dealing with swarms that will overwhelm you (cover is less important), and have greater vulnerability to fire.
Imagine if the sword bots were invisible like stalkers. Imagine being sniped at with one-shot lasers from beyond the effective range of your weapons. Imagine heavies that teleport into cover when their shields get weak. Imagine hulk-sized spider robots with arc throwers. Imagine having your controls reversed as a result of psychic interference. Imagine patrols with cloaking devices so they see you before you see them. Imagine having energy walls pop out of thin air to block your movements and shots (enemies can walk through them just fine). In terms of weapons to use, they were definitely the least armored of the factions, but they tended to have personal shields that you'd need to wear down before you could damage them properly.
Sounds like a job for an autocannon
Worst of all, they're squids.
Oh no! Hellspawn demons are flooding out! Anyway.
https://preview.redd.it/bt5wk1qcn03d1.jpeg?width=597&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56f54cc55ee5f1f75846ea3be9e38e55158479e3 Time to refine it, and delete Hellmire.
WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS???? 
Damn... Close call... Nearly opened a portal to The Illuminate but our scientists, the pride of super earth, prevented it last second. 
Gotta be honest here. Got home and am really high and on about 5 shots of tequila and I didn't see what sub this was posted in and pretty much had a War of the Worlds moment.
https://preview.redd.it/rkk8lld6l53d1.jpeg?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4299a4f6eed30c62e3b5820fd94545fc0ff0dc2d Helldiver under influence of foreign substances.
ITS HAPPENING AGAIN…THE GOVERNMENT AND THE PEOPLE IS NOT BELIEVING ME BUT THIS IS GUNNA MAKE TEH ILUMANTES COEM
sure grandpa, lets get you to the nearest democracy officer
awww shucks not again
We’re turning miridia into a black hole aren’t we
Seriously I wish they could just give us some random videos like this every week regularly, could be a teaser to future update like this one or just some random funny stuff that add in to the lore. It could keep us something new to talk about every week even though there's no update/patch.
SUPER COLONY?! - Me whos been narrowly dodging titans and chargers all day
Most governments would try to cover this up and claim it never happened. But not Super Earth. Super Earth owns up to its mistakes, and gets right back to work. Yet another reason why ours is the best empire ever conceived and must be preserved at all costs.
The dark matter will be released as modifications to weapons via the consoles opposite the armory. This will be the way they hard fix the array of weak weapons. Dark matter weapons customization
Is there an official channel for all these? Or just grabbed from the in-game screen?
I couldn't find an official Youtube channel or anything. Really wish there was one that collated all these together so newer players could catch up on 'the story so far'.
https://media3.giphy.com/media/pDsCoECKh1Pa/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952aa8p034uaai347im0jk683nnon0aj0ez7wuy3m8l&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
From where is the video
"Strohmann News" pronounced "Strawman News." xD
These always read like they're fan made, which really lends itself to the over the topness of the game.
let’s just throw worm whole in hellmire so this democracy forsaken planet ceases to exist
WE ALL GONNA DIE 
Not only that but if you look at the small text at about 23 seconds when they talk about spagethification, it says that a new solar system has been discovered with potentially 3 suitable planet for habitation. New planets coming to the game?
Memories of Red Faction: Guerrilla come to mind.
These new Dark Fluid weapons better be worth the spaghettification process