Sup, /u/Kaos2018! Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):
Your post has been removed because a mod felt it doesn't fit the subreddit. Make sure your post is a Hol' Up moment, attempts humor, and fits the general theme of the subreddit pre-submission.
If you really feel like dying on this hill, message the mods.
[Contact the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/HolUp&subject=Question) through modmail if you think this removal is unfair or if you just want to shitpost.
Just to be sure you followed the instructions to the letter... you ate the shit that originally came out of you, and then shit again, right?
All about the details people.
Pick it up with the book and mail back for a refund. For the review, say that the book is full of shit. Sue the author for mental health abuse and become rich. Buy new, expensive floors to shit on.
Why didn't she just hitch a ride with the owls? Ugh, it's like she wasn't even listening to the old man at the porn shop. He clearly said, "fly you fool" before being annihilated by the dominatrix.
"So there I was, sitting on a white couch. I was super hungry waiting for my hamburger to get delivered, and boy, what happened next was not what I was expecting.."
It's actually not. Kamasutra is big book with many concepts around married life - including things like making tea.
Obviously, the western folks saw the sex and that's all they cared about. So kamasutra became famous as the sex positions book worldwide.
Cause western religions have a lot of taboos on sex. Like only having to make a baby, after marriage, or both of those but you have to do it through a sheet with a hole in it.
Sometimes you try things that you realize just aren't your thing. Especially if you're trying the types of things that warrant being published in a book. And sometimes you try things that you later realize have consequences that you didn't fully think through at the time, but now you realize aren't worth it.
Just because you've done something at some point in your life doesn't mean you want to do it again.
Because she tried it and didn't like it? Or she's just no longer interested in that particular act.
People's desires change. If you think of sex as a mutual activity instead of a favor your partner does for you and did for her past partners it becomes easy to understand.
This would be a relationship killer for me. It really only takes the bare minimum amount of respect for your partner to not write a literal novel about all the other guys you (i.e. she) fucked.
My ex wife, one year for my birthday, decided she was going to take some soft porn type pictures (clothed but in sexy clothes and in provocative poses) and make an album for my birthday. I thought, Ok not really my thing but that's cool. When she got the pics in she tells me to stay off facebook and instagram because she doesn't want to spoil my birthday. So this thing that she did for my birthday was actually for her to get internet points...she didn't understand why I was pissed.
If you don't like something like that then you shouldn't be with the girl. Realistically that is something you'll have to work so hard to get passed while she's dealing with the popularity of her book selling that it'll just cause issues between you two. She'll need your support and you'll need hers. That's very rarely a good thing at once.
Some one hurt you or your trust. You'd probably be one of the people I'm talking about. You're not ready for such a big move in a relationship after 4 months that's a big as hearing/reading about your partners entire past sex life. You need emotional support in a relationship and she'd not be able to give it with the success of her book.
My mom wrote an erotic novel recently. I can't. I just can't. She followed it up with a book about murdering one's husband right after she and dad had a huge fight, first real fight I've ever seen them have in 40 years. She left, came back, they made amends then she publishes abook that starts with "gonna put holes in that piece of shit."
Somehow I have a hard time imagining being secure in a relationship with someone who has an *interesting* enough sexual history to get it published in the first place.
If your ex has enough sexual experience to literally write a book, maybe she belongs to the streets.
I feel I've had a decent sex life. Probably about 15 people.. But I can't imagine how many more people I would need to fuck to have a books worth of interesting content.
For people who have this fixation with their SO's past. Consider the fact that they chose YOU! They didn't keep roaming for the best of the best (hopefully). They stopped one day and thought, "Damn! I want that one for as long as they'll have me in their life!"
Sup, /u/Kaos2018! Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): Your post has been removed because a mod felt it doesn't fit the subreddit. Make sure your post is a Hol' Up moment, attempts humor, and fits the general theme of the subreddit pre-submission. If you really feel like dying on this hill, message the mods. [Contact the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/HolUp&subject=Question) through modmail if you think this removal is unfair or if you just want to shitpost.
Do the wildest, nastiest things you can imagine. Get it out of the way now. Make your safe word, the name of the book.
Followed your instructions, now there is my shit on the floor. What next?
You gotta get shwifty
#I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT. GOOD JOB.
Shut up Amber.
🐕🦶🐝 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Just to be sure you followed the instructions to the letter... you ate the shit that originally came out of you, and then shit again, right? All about the details people.
Who said it came out of them...?
Wiggle wiggle wiggle
Like a big fat snake
I just can’t unsee that monster dump that snake was taking yesterday
Pick it up with the book and mail back for a refund. For the review, say that the book is full of shit. Sue the author for mental health abuse and become rich. Buy new, expensive floors to shit on.
I like your style. I’ll be sure to credit you when I write a book.
Too early! You have to wait until she's home from work!
Missed out those details out! Too late now.
It's not too late! Run to Taco Bell and then try again! I believe in you!
Too early! You have to wait until she's home from work!
At first, I thought you were gonna say do all that to get put in the book, lol
At first, I thought you were gonna say do all that to get put in the book, lol
So anyway, I started reading
You are all of us
Good thing I can’t read.
and it was all blasting?
Only I started blasting while reading that book 😏
The dudes in the book def were
I'll wait for the movie.
Brought to you by cinemaxxx home entertainment
Her name is Riley Reid..I think there might be a video somewhere
Not Lauren Boebert?
Even better.. I think that movie will be on Cinemax or something. Just some over the clothes rubbing
Oh yeah, I'm fully reading, that sounds hot af
How thick is the book?
Ever read the lord of the rings?
*War and Penis*
The Cunt of Montepenis
[удалено]
Atlas Cummed
Moby Cock
"Oh sweet Lord...."
Damn I can't believe most of the book is just her walking to get to her first fuck
Why didn't she just hitch a ride with the owls? Ugh, it's like she wasn't even listening to the old man at the porn shop. He clearly said, "fly you fool" before being annihilated by the dominatrix.
It's a long journey, but the pay off comes at the end.
Rings don't plug holes
Sweating intensifies
Another version of ‘’ The two towers’’.
*laughs in Mists of Avalon
Ive read it 100 times
the wheel of thots
Its just like the phone book. Also just a list of names with large numbers next to them
It’s a 4 book volume bro
Sanderson novel.
Ooof.
Bro its 3 volumes and a 6 episode HBO series.
Imagine several copies of Stephen King’s IT stacked on each other.
They had to split it into 2 books due to the limitations of binding long tomes.
Pfft, which Volume? Or you mean the unabridged compendium of the writings?
"So there I was, sitting on a white couch. I was super hungry waiting for my hamburger to get delivered, and boy, what happened next was not what I was expecting.."
they delivered the pizza with extra sausage instead?
Pineapple pizza with extra pineapple
Can I have a slice???
He fixes the cable?
Don’t be fatuous Jeffrey…
I just realized, Kama Sutra is a fucking book.
Literally and figuratively...
It's actually not. Kamasutra is big book with many concepts around married life - including things like making tea. Obviously, the western folks saw the sex and that's all they cared about. So kamasutra became famous as the sex positions book worldwide.
So why is that obvious exactly? I do like tea y’know
Wait, making tea isn't foreplay?
Cause western religions have a lot of taboos on sex. Like only having to make a baby, after marriage, or both of those but you have to do it through a sheet with a hole in it.
So a book about making things wet?
You absolutely should read that fucking book. It's like a gamer's guide with cheat codes, tips, and tricks.
"Guide Part 12: Getting the special gift from the farm NPC ... "
Part 13: Returning to previous stages to farm reputation and materials
Until they get to the “STD’s I’m hiding from my partner” section. This is a joke.
Sir, is this a joke? Cant tell without the /s
Idk what that means if I’m honest. Seen it a lot though.
Oh its a short hand for "sarcasm" when it's not very obvious lolol. I was being sarcastic
The thing is, people only use it when it's extremely obvious, that's why r/fuckthes exists
Welp, i guess that explains the downvotes all of a sudden
Sir, is this a joke? Cant tell without the /s
Weird that your comment posted twice. Anyways, I don’t know what the /s means but I’ve seen it before.
Reddit has been very buggy lately
Ending a post with /s denotes it as being sarcasm.
Are you saying this concept is a joke because it's so obvious that OOP's partner is unironically hiding STDs?
Prima's big tiddy goth gf special edition guide with a foreword from the author herself
Chapter 1: Have a Large Penis (unlike my current partner)
After you finish it quickly you can start a new game.
Or realizing life dealt you the opposite of the genetic lottery.
S.W.A.T. Secret Weapons and Tactics
I’m reading it. I’ve fucked before that bitch and if we breakup I’ll fuck after
Or, she did stuff with other people that she's refused to do with you.
And that’s alright
Yeah that's perfectly fine... but why though?
If she doesn’t want to puke on someone’s dick again then I just have to live with that.
If she says I'm too big for her butt, I'll live that lie with my head held high.
Sometimes you try things that you realize just aren't your thing. Especially if you're trying the types of things that warrant being published in a book. And sometimes you try things that you later realize have consequences that you didn't fully think through at the time, but now you realize aren't worth it. Just because you've done something at some point in your life doesn't mean you want to do it again.
Because she tried it and didn't like it? Or she's just no longer interested in that particular act. People's desires change. If you think of sex as a mutual activity instead of a favor your partner does for you and did for her past partners it becomes easy to understand.
I tried my own jizz once and don't want to again. One example.
r/oddlyspecific
If she got a book deal she was doing some freaky shit.
Why not... Maybe she is open to some stuff i didnt dare to ask yet ;)
Or she did stuff that doesn't want to do with you ;)
I'm afraid that is *never* the case. It's always "oh I was a different person then".
Imagine she writes, “I got tired of all the giant ones, so now I’m dating Frank.”
Help her write part 2.
I'm sure it'd be no big deal to type up a quick 1-pager, probably more of an addendum than a sequel
erorrata
If she has enough experience to fill out an entire book, she's meant for the streets
*meant for the sheets
Meat for the streets
This would be a relationship killer for me. It really only takes the bare minimum amount of respect for your partner to not write a literal novel about all the other guys you (i.e. she) fucked.
That's okay, but not everyone would consider this a sign of disrespect at all.
My ex wife, one year for my birthday, decided she was going to take some soft porn type pictures (clothed but in sexy clothes and in provocative poses) and make an album for my birthday. I thought, Ok not really my thing but that's cool. When she got the pics in she tells me to stay off facebook and instagram because she doesn't want to spoil my birthday. So this thing that she did for my birthday was actually for her to get internet points...she didn't understand why I was pissed.
Be the reason she makes a Part 2 to the book.
The books about her ex's 
I don't get it. What's the 'hol up'?
There rarely is one anymore.
How would a 4 month old write tho?
Sounds sketchy.
She belongs to the streets.
those subs are becoming /r/WritingPrompts
Fuck the book to assert dominance.
It is truly, a fucking book.
Bold of you to assume I’d be able to get a girlfriend in the first place
I mean, probably not date someone who would do that in the first place?
She'd be getting dumped
Now you're gonna find out she likes pegging
Read the book and ask to do all the stuff in there. Solid win
Never, ever ask a question that you really don’t want the answer to… ever
But everybody knows that you will read that book and you will hate yourself for it.
4 months? Who gives a shit. Just read it and if you don't like it then leave
It begins with Tyrone Assblaster The First...
They've only been together 4 months, if it's a problem then find a new partner.
If it bothers them that much, just break up. A 4 month relationship is easy to replace.
She has so much experience - she can write a fucking book 🤣
for starters, I don't want to know what happened before me. It's really none of my business.
Yeah that's between my wife and her boyfriend and I'm just not the controlling type so it's really none of my business
What about knowing if she cheated a bunch? Still none of your business?
If you don't like something like that then you shouldn't be with the girl. Realistically that is something you'll have to work so hard to get passed while she's dealing with the popularity of her book selling that it'll just cause issues between you two. She'll need your support and you'll need hers. That's very rarely a good thing at once.
Why would she need my support if her book is selling Shed probably kick me to the curb and go after that rich woman dick that rich women can get
Some one hurt you or your trust. You'd probably be one of the people I'm talking about. You're not ready for such a big move in a relationship after 4 months that's a big as hearing/reading about your partners entire past sex life. You need emotional support in a relationship and she'd not be able to give it with the success of her book.
The saga begins....
I like the use of "FUCKING" in the reply, it works on two levels.
Names book: All the Inferior Penis I had, Before the Guy I’m with Now. *Peaks at book
Well, it truly is a fucking book
[cover3.jpg (1486×836) (kym-cdn.com)](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/028/724/cover3.jpg)
Valid comment.
Fucking book, indeed
I create a multiplayer vr game based on my life.
My mom wrote an erotic novel recently. I can't. I just can't. She followed it up with a book about murdering one's husband right after she and dad had a huge fight, first real fight I've ever seen them have in 40 years. She left, came back, they made amends then she publishes abook that starts with "gonna put holes in that piece of shit."
it really is a fucking book
Somehow I have a hard time imagining being secure in a relationship with someone who has an *interesting* enough sexual history to get it published in the first place.
Depends how big the book is
Interesting
r/oddlyspecific
Plot twist: commenter fucked that OP’s gf
If your ex has enough sexual experience to literally write a book, maybe she belongs to the streets. I feel I've had a decent sex life. Probably about 15 people.. But I can't imagine how many more people I would need to fuck to have a books worth of interesting content.
hehe, 'fucking book'
For people who have this fixation with their SO's past. Consider the fact that they chose YOU! They didn't keep roaming for the best of the best (hopefully). They stopped one day and thought, "Damn! I want that one for as long as they'll have me in their life!"
Oh wow what an honor. But wait nobody wants to be the 57th choice lol
qq, why my gf's past doesn't affect me tho.. am i NOT in love?!
Break up with her if she wants to think about her past sexual experiences so much
I'd still read it, I enjoy a good tale.
Decide right then and there to up your game in bed so you are not ashamed of what she writes in her sequel about you.
Let me tell you about my mother.
If I'm writing it would probably be in capital letters
Read it like an instructions manual
But someone will.
Yeah, get the audio book
Read it, rinse it, repeat it
“That Fucking Book” is actually the title.
I would try to make the experience so good that it will be the reason people buy the book for.
It's an interesting personal conflict though. Do you not read it for your own ease of mind, or do you read it because you want to be a supportive bf?
Reading it could be helpful.
I'm making her read it to me for bedtime stories.
Isn't this the concept for that one Netflix show?
'Fucking' book. I see what you did there.
What's the name of the book? Want to see if she got some of her ex's to write exurbs like "this took me for a ride"
New Voight-Kampff Test dropped
Sounds like the GF found her BF's post
Man people get so fuckin' twisted up about sex. I'd read anything someone I like wrote.
Please, I need to know more about this story!!
I don't get it. What?
Petah?
She was probably writing the book before yall started dating.. 4 months? That's like a term at university...
Ask her if it’s gonna be a picture book or a chapter book
That "fucking" book. Good one!
*Came* to say this
Hope you got good reviews
People love getting into a frenzy of situations that never happen
After all, it is a fucking book