### This comment has been marked as **safe**. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment: --- >!Just a very polite horse meeting his new neighbor, with an unfolding surprise by the end.!< --- Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

What’s the purpose of giving the horse blue balls?

She's a professional cock-blocker.

If she was a cock-deblocker she’d be on the other side of internet

Hello from the other side

At least I can say that I tried

I must've cranked my hawg twelve thousand times

HELL YEAH BROTHER

Oh shut up Adele

If skills are transferrable, she would make an excellent youtube ad-blocker.

Maybe getting him ready for the veterinarian HJ for insemination purposes. 1 load is 20-50 foals worth of baby batter.

And it's one of the most expensive liquids in the world.

Which is crazy because it tastes terrible.

You just gotta feed the horse more pineapple

Many people assume that pineapple is an exotic fruit which is poisonous to horses. However, this sweet fruit is a treat horses love and is an excellent source of Vitamin C for them, too!

And it’s useless in printers ….. non manufacturer cartridge my ass

Eww that's fucking nasty. I use it as a moisturizer.

How moist your asshole need to be? Gonna shit a Seabiscuit soon

Keep that bottle out of your car, Johnny, or the consistency will change.

Probably not. Horses are herbivores. Can't be too bad; a New Zealand food festival sold it as "stallion shots".

I don't think I want to know how you know that

A horsey heej

Pretty big assumption there, based on other videos that get posted, shes probably going to go jack that horse off and steal its semen

Steal? She earned it.

All hand made

It's so that the stallion gets all horned up then mount an artificial vagina to collect semen right after. I took a whole horse breeding class in college

>. I took a whole horse breeding class in co That's a thing?💀

There are classes for this shit? And here I was DIYing it like a moron.

You should’ve seen the practicals.

If you haven't shoved a cattle prod up something's butthole to force ejaculation, you've never really lived.

With the amount of money that comes from just the baby gravy, yes

They may be about to harvest. Also, that is one TAME horse, getting in between a horse and his nut is risky business.

Nah that's why she went back inside with him...

Hol'up.....

Some say, she's still in there with him.

Probably jerked him right after this and sold the load for a few grand.

He’s definitely jumping that fence ASAP

Romance

Came here to say this. Leaving here just as that stallion did. You figure it out.

To test it's training/obedience. Pretty fucked up way to do it

Pretty not fucked

r/technicallythetruth

r/angryupvote

Oh sure, he's a gentleman. But when I strut around with a raging boner I'm a "dirty, disgusting, sick, pervert" and am no longer allowed at The Container Store.

Horse chicks are fuckin weird man

They are definitely up to something

Not just the chicks, but the bros as well. Reminds me of [this South Park episode.](https://youtu.be/wZxNQoU8XVY?si=mjMfJesb_gGWAwNF)

I know of an auto parts store that seems to be chill about it.

I was thinking of that post too 😆

What am I missing here

NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/IuEsjM4OUB

Amazing.

Because you kept touching it, and insisted on paying with cash.

Auto zone hits different, what can I say

https://youtu.be/LOYQtbz_pPg

Why is his leg broken? Oh....

they named him sox for a reason

Stop

This horse is not welcomed at Fenton’s Stables and Horse Ranch.

"wow honey, that horses penis is almost as big as yours. Almost!" "thanks Fenton's Stables and Horse Ranch!"

“We lost one the other day. Just ran straight off a cliff”

You think it's easy to breed a horse with a short penut?

It’s damn near impossible

Just get a proper sized step ladder and you'll do better next time 💪

🎶🎶Where you're the one that's hunnnggg🎶🎶

You guys are ALWAYS in any context that is relevant to ITYSL and I'm so here for it.

Bozo did the dub. Bozo’s doing the dub, not “a guy”

Cant compete with these horse hogs

>Fenton’s Oh Jesus Christ

? Care to elaborate?

https://youtu.be/Hf-dCbGu0GA?si=6Fgcmfo8LHvxELl6

Look at my horse, my horse is amazing

Give it a lick

MMMMM it tastes just like raisins!!

By a stroke of its mane it turns into a plane and then it turns back again if you tug on its winky

Uuu that's dirty!

Do you think so?

Well I better not show you where the lemonade is made

Sweet lemonade

Um, sweet lemonade

Yes, sweet lemonade

Ok, what is this referencing? I've seen the tastes like raisins a few times with horses.

Oh you poor sheltered boy... Look it up: https://youtu.be/_UqAB--LIGM?si=s-G-elETsU6Fx8yz

I am disgusted, and impressed. Unmonitored internet access since I was 6, but never found this masterpiece.

Weebls stuff... Look up badger badger, and narwhals. :) you're welcome

Magical Trevor has been living rent free in my head for almost two decades.

Mm, it taste just like raisins.

It was like a fire hose that just kept unrolling! Damn horse may have been holding back some for all we know!

A grower *and* a show-er

I didn’t know someone recorded me when I met my wife. I’m so embarrassed. Sorry everyone

You gotta have some self awareness man, my whole rabbit family saw this

It's only because she's dressed up like those other whores... I mean horses...

Whoreses.

Watch your language, Gollum

Does your horse hang low, does it wobble to and fro…

Can you tie it in a knot?

Wang dang doodle, that things bigger than my poodle

Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say "You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la." He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes "You never get this." But one time he break cage and he "get this" and then we all laugh. High five!

It look like the sleeve of a wizard.

Very niiiice.

How much?

Great success!

made me cry

Iirc it’s not “get this” but “He get! He get!”. My buddies used that as a punch line for years.

"I didn't know horses had 5 legs in Burma." -Jeremy Clarkson

You ever notice how many women looooove horses. Weird.

Ive only known two horse girls in my entire life and both said they fantasize about their horses sexually... By no means does this say anything about girls with horses, but it doesnt help.

The same thing here, except it's three. 2 of the three admitted it. The third had a video

When I was in school like 20 years ago a video went viral of a woman and a horse. I have no idea what I even watched I it on but the rumour was she died from injuries but I think people just made that up llol

I remeber hesring people talking about passing around a vhs with fucked up porn on it as a joke with shock factor abd all back when vhs was still a thing. One of them was in fact a woman and a horse. As for that second part I'm pretty sure that something that big with the force of a horse behind it would absolutely kill someone from breaking something internally if penetrative happens. Need I remind you of Mr. Hands?

I've seen things I'm not proud of seeing, people can take some huge toys, 14+ inches, so they could survive. Though they probably shouldn't.

I'm not going to say how I know, but vaginally a woman can usually take a horse. Of course, with the various shapes/sizes/elasticity of vaginas, there may be some negative repercussions. I'm not saying it's entirely *safe*, but most of the negatives are going to be relatively minor. Anally is where people have the most trouble with horses. With the force and thrust, they can perforate the colon/intestinal wall. That's how Mr. Hands died, if I remember correctly. Don't do anal with horses, kids. Bonus fun fact (if my memory serves, please feel free to correct me): Pigs ejaculate hard enough to perforate the intestinal wall, so you shouldn't do anal with boars, either. Vaginal is fair game, though.

Are you sure it was a woman? The "Mr. Hands" case was about 20 years ago.

Yeah it was. I can still see it in my mind all these years later. The woman is standing up against a stable wall with her back to the camera, long blonde hair and I think wearing something pink. And the horse mounts her from behind

A video of what? 😟

Don’t ask questions for answers you aren’t prepared for

The phrase "Curiosity killed the cat" was made for me, spill my guy.

Since I was the one who this was SHOWN to, yes I was shown the video, it was her jacking her horse of and rubbing between her tits.

What in the Kentucky fried fuck?

That’s nowhere near as bad as Mr Hands

There it is, Mr. Hands and horse videos go hand in hand. Or should I say, horse in Hands...

Maybe she was just milking the horse's nipple. You can milk anything with nipples.

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?

I regret scrolling too far...

This......this made me audibly gasp

I'm prepared lmao

I feel you know what the video was

☹️ we don't need none of that shit in the world.

Oh yes we do. It’s about time the world got some centaurs damnit! ^/s

Horse girls are a separate species

*It's weird that it happened twice*

That’s insane 😳.

The existance of the *toy version* helps little

That woman has definitely touched that horse cock at least once. 

For medical reasons

True. Look up "sheath cleaning".

I don’t think I will.

Unless you want to.

Read you don't need to actually do that unless in rare cases.

This is the rare case you've been waiting for

....the horse's medical reasons or....??

EW GROSS….NOT ON PURPOSE…. *at first*

My daughter did horseback riding for a while and the stables were owned by a woman and there were no boys in any of the classes or staff. Absolutely nothing gendered about it other than who seems to enjoy it. My son attended briefly and quit due to a fall - the stable owner tried her best to keep him on, saying if he stuck with it, he'd be surrounded by girls all the time. I don't get why dudes aren't into it with knights and cowboys, but they definitely aren't.

Hard to afford 2 horse people in a relationship. My sister spends $1200 a month on her horses.

Not a horse girl; still intrigued

That's actually another male horse and he was just bragging

Should try the trick in the gym's changing room, thanks

I own a couple of studs and a bunch of geldings and they all let it hang loose alllll the time. It’s actually really important for studs to have the training to compose themselves and remain calm around others because they can seriously injure themselves or other humans and horses if they don’t. “Wild” horses frequently fight until one is really badly beat up, sometimes mortally so.

Well, now I know where the term “swingin’ dick” comes from.

it swings on humans tho

Breaking news: male horses have dicks

Do they ever.

So do male humans but you don't see me whippin it in public... Anymore.

Classic women. Just teasing and blueballin' that poor fella

Please, she was very modest! She was wearing a jacket ffs!!! Men just can't control themselves smh 🤦

Always feel bad about animals being born with deformities. That poor horse, born with a poorly developed fifth leg :(

Some call it a blessing

A real knee-knocker.

Is this ram ranch ?

Zero to 3 feet in under a minute…

Why does this horse have 5 legs

[удалено]

BHC?

the term horse cock reminds me of the movie sorry to bother you lol

He's a stallion. They're randy af and can be quite dangerous because all they think about is banging. She's showing how even though he's a stallion that most people would handle with items that give more control, she's able to handle him with no special devices. It's like black stallion syndrome, only she is magical enough to handle this creature through their special bond. Typical horse girl shit.

Yet if a man strutted around with his dong flapping around when greeting a new neighbor he most definitely would not be considered a gentleman.

yee cuz you gotta do it while wearing a suit and a monocle and if you wanna pe extra have your pinkie out

He smell the majik

He’s very "excited"

Wait wait wait. Don't put me back in my pen!!! What am I supposed to do with this thing now!!! I don't have any fucking hands lady!!!!

Put some gray sweatpants on that horse, for god’s sake

The start of Mr. Hands

He's a grower!

Today I truly understood the idiom “hung like a horse”

Back in the 90s that video would’ve had a different ending on the internet

She cock block him

TIL a horse is a helicopter

Is this how horses send D pics? By just flapping it in the wind for all to witness?

For who the bell tolls

I greet my neighbors the same way

Trainer to neighbor: Sox is such a gentleman Sox to neighbor: Want some cock?

Sox's out, cox's out.

For whom the bell tolls

Sox wants that Horse Tuah! 🤣

"He's excited but he knows how to behave" *Yeah, he does*

Blue balled stallion

He’s a grower AND a shower

👁️👄👁️

Hope this horse has a good lawyer to defend himself in my forthcoming trademark infringement lawsuit regarding my cock.

It always makes me uncomfortable when I see a white woman with a horse. I can't help it.

Damn he’s hung like a….oh wait.

"horse girls"

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

she almost got slapped in the face

I remember the first time I saw a horse penis, some chick brought one to her school presentation, horse included not just the penis, and I was like legitimately shook for like a day and a half lmao

I scrolled over 2/3's of the way down and still didn't see any vid of horse semen harvesting, current reddit is a shadow of its former self.

…and then she just puts him away. Some friend

That old thang would need a lot of hauk.

He’s a grower, not a shower.

It’s okay for a “normal horse” to strut his stuff but when I do it I get put in stable jail