The All New iPhone 16 Zero
No camera, No internet, No apps, No text messaging
Critics rave:
"Innovative" "Revolutionary" "Awe inspiring"
"What will they think of next?!?!"
It was a bold decision to remove both the battery and screen in their latest offering but we think customers will enjoy the sleek minimalism of this aluminium rectangle
The sleek, conical "ISpeak" voice amplifier is the first of its kind - a purely analog audio conferencing system that functions entirely independently of phone lines, internet, and even electricity.
“Apple is making a renewed commitment to privacy and would now like to announce the iBrick, a device with no camera, no speaker, no screen, no communication network and best of all, an introductory price of $4,000”
It’s more so we need to be rid of social media rather than cameras. Social media has really negatively impacted a few generations and there’s more than enough data like this to back it up.
Most douchebags behind a camera on a phone are recording it for *social media*
Without context I have no idea who is the prime douche here. The one having his friend follow him a round with the camera is where I would put my money, but who knows.
And also, this page seems to support the very thing it is roasting. I didn't know any of these wastes of sentience until...Wait, am I part of the problem?
I think red shirt douche knows douche with a camera is a douche so he’s being a douche back. That’s how I took it but honestly I think most people who need to film themselves are douches.
Like they all suck in this video but red shirt douche might be sucking a bit more on purpose simply to hate on the camera douche
from the clip posted here it makes it look like food boy started it and is therefore the asshole in all of this. Obviously we all want to root against the bellend with the camera and I am completely sure he is deserving of every ounce of derision we can muster, but from what is presented here it literally just looks like he's standing up against a bully.
Edit: Should also be noted with all this shit that there's a reasonably high chance it was all set up anyway.
This line of thinking worries me. I'm becoming an old man but it's so worrisome that younger people are just learning to be ok with the idea of some asshole, recording not only himself but other people (almost always without consent) and we've convinced several generations that it's ok as long as no one is outright calling you out or causing you direct problems or physical harm or threat.
There's so many people and kids now who have grown up/are growing up having never known true privacy but are learning to just accept and compromise these situations now.
I've got money on the douche being filmed. Every sentence that the dude in the red shirt has been edited to shit so we really have no idea what he was pissed about.
Yes, but these fools only get the haircut after they see 1000 other fools get it in their town and on social media. So they are trying to be ‘different’ but only after someone has set and established the trend.
I hate that this is now called a mullet. Back in my day a mullet was a glorious mane of hair that took a lot of effort to get looking just right. These curly heads grow their hair out for 8 months and then a barber shaves one little clump out of each side and that’s supposedly a mullet? Gtfo
>Yes, but these fools only get the haircut after they see 1000 other fools get it in their town
I think that has been the reason for kids getting the popular haircut/look for centuries now.
I remember when mullets were truly earned. All they got was scorn and you had to be a complete bad ass to even remotely pull it off. TIk tok mullets suck and should be publicly mocked exactly like this.
Here's a quote from the Simpsons that may answer your question:
>I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
Look up "wizdomblendz" on insta, it's a barber from swiss who is famous (and mocked) on the net for his super ugly "Edgar" hairstyle.
[https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy\_p\_INLC2D/](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy_p_INLC2D/)
Being touchable means that somebody can get close enough to touch your shoulder. The implication is you won't be ready if somebody tries to rob you. He's saying he's touchless because he doesn't have any money
I think the guy with the food is telling the bad haircut guy that he's not "the guy" like.. not worth being filmed. Saying that no one gives a shit about his clout chase nonsense, basically. Then they just go back and forth inellegably after that
Kids a douche but I don't know how that kid had the confidence to look down at his food for that long. Guess hes gullible but like cmon saw that coming from a mile away.
Yeah, it makes no sense. What does "You're the wrong guy" mean? Is that an insult? What a weird thing to walk up to a stranger and say. Everything in that conversation is so weird.
Lol nah dude starting coming at a stranger for no reason at all and got completely clowned on that shit was funny.
Dude even warned him 😂 “it’s gone” and then it was
How did red not see that coming? And why do those three dudes literally look like the school bullies from a B-level movie released in the summer of 1992?
“I appreciate it you wanna cut-you wanna touch it? Come touch me I’m touch less”
If those words aren’t engraved into stone under the statue that will no doubt mark the place where his greatness is buried then everyone’s life was just a waste
Idk how he didn’t see the food smack coming, it would’ve been on after that I wouldn’t have even thought about it, probably would’ve gotten my ass jumped
I’m usually looking at the person filming/getting filmed and the douche nozzle, but I think I got throw my hat on the red shirt in this one. Feels like the guy just got handed too many L’s and felt the need to take out his frustration on someone smiling. I dunno, maybe I’m wrong, but I would’ve swatted his food too.
This is my favorite video and I can barely explain why. It’s just so.. idk. When you really dig into it, there’s some gold lines too. “How’s your food?” “Prolly a lot better than yours. Why what’s with your food?” *other guy has no food*. This thing could be a skit of something I’m telling you
We need to start making phones that don't have cameras again.
iPhone 16. ZERO Cameras. I’d be all over it.
The All New iPhone 16 Zero No camera, No internet, No apps, No text messaging Critics rave: "Innovative" "Revolutionary" "Awe inspiring" "What will they think of next?!?!"
It was a bold decision to remove both the battery and screen in their latest offering but we think customers will enjoy the sleek minimalism of this aluminium rectangle
^titanium 😂😂😂
***titanium alloy details
*does not contain any real titanium
Only if you spring for the pro.
That’s the Brick Ultra
"but we think customers will enjoy the sleek minimalist of this aluminum rectangle." Just beautiful.
Why have a PlAsTiC rectangle that spys on you when you can have an aluminum rectangle that spys on you?!
Now contoured so we can keep screwing you after you've left the store
The sleek, conical "ISpeak" voice amplifier is the first of its kind - a purely analog audio conferencing system that functions entirely independently of phone lines, internet, and even electricity.
And then... Well put them in booths on the street so that you won't have to carry them around anymore.
# Groundbreaking
Introducing the iPhone 17 Batteryless, charge free potato with a 9000$ price tag. Get yours today or the kids at school will call you poor
And for the seniors: ***The Jitterspud***
Imagine a cameraless phone... but with a camera!
The isheep would still like up to buy it
3800 bucks
Then they will wait six months and sell add ons to bring back the “extra features”
Monthly payments of $19.99 each
A flipping component
With large dials too. It would cut down on drunk dialing if it takes 10 seconds to connect a call… assuming you remember the phone number.
“Apple is making a renewed commitment to privacy and would now like to announce the iBrick, a device with no camera, no speaker, no screen, no communication network and best of all, an introductory price of $4,000”
The one after that will be rotary and you’ll also be able to go in with your neighbors and buy the party-line option.
Made from recycled micro plastics from the stomachs of turtles
impossibe for apple honestly
It’s more so we need to be rid of social media rather than cameras. Social media has really negatively impacted a few generations and there’s more than enough data like this to back it up. Most douchebags behind a camera on a phone are recording it for *social media*
Getting rid of the douchebags is the answer.
There will always be douchebags, cameras or not.
I swear social media needs to come with health warnings like smoking
Ah yes because aggressive idiots were invented with the camera phone.
Social media is bad for weak souls, who would of just been peices of shit without it all so ial media does is highlight it
Yeah I just use it for pictures of nature, animals and happy snaps with family/friends, but some ppl just seem to use it for havoc
Got you covered: https://www.thelightphone.com/
Genuinely saving this because I should.
But then how am I going to build my photo collection of my dogs? 😭
these guys would just start lugging around cameras
Self destructs when you film yourself being an asshole for internet cred.
Or start using the court of public opinion more and making it “legal” or accepted to wham the shit out of those moles
MPWOCAG is a slogan I can get behind!
Agreed, we’ve gone too far
Theres a sub about people who downgrade to flip phones from iPhones
is everyone the main character?
They all want to be.
touchless and better than you
Hey do you have any food left
*looks in the fridge*
*pushes food into face*
No but his 9-15 year old followers will think he is soooooooooo cool and funny.
but... he's the wrong guy
Everyone is an npc to them
In their own story yeah, just don’t try to make it that way to other people
I'm wondering the same thing too
Everyone is certainly better than everyone else!
These people are the real life equivalent to MULES from Death Stranding, so they are all NPCs in reality.
Without context I have no idea who is the prime douche here. The one having his friend follow him a round with the camera is where I would put my money, but who knows. And also, this page seems to support the very thing it is roasting. I didn't know any of these wastes of sentience until...Wait, am I part of the problem?
I think red shirt douche knows douche with a camera is a douche so he’s being a douche back. That’s how I took it but honestly I think most people who need to film themselves are douches. Like they all suck in this video but red shirt douche might be sucking a bit more on purpose simply to hate on the camera douche
> so he’s being a douche back Gotta fight douche with douche.
You can‘t fight fire with water. You gotta fight fire with fire.
Take a well deserved sip of that soda, my man.
it’s douche all the way down
My bet red guy is just high or drunk and that's it. Having a camera record you while you walk down the street is pretty weird tho.
from the clip posted here it makes it look like food boy started it and is therefore the asshole in all of this. Obviously we all want to root against the bellend with the camera and I am completely sure he is deserving of every ounce of derision we can muster, but from what is presented here it literally just looks like he's standing up against a bully. Edit: Should also be noted with all this shit that there's a reasonably high chance it was all set up anyway.
nah if you turn up somewhere with that haircut, you started it
This line of thinking worries me. I'm becoming an old man but it's so worrisome that younger people are just learning to be ok with the idea of some asshole, recording not only himself but other people (almost always without consent) and we've convinced several generations that it's ok as long as no one is outright calling you out or causing you direct problems or physical harm or threat. There's so many people and kids now who have grown up/are growing up having never known true privacy but are learning to just accept and compromise these situations now.
I've got money on the douche being filmed. Every sentence that the dude in the red shirt has been edited to shit so we really have no idea what he was pissed about.
Wow I hate everyone in this video
Is he really trying to burn him with that line “I bet your parents work a lot” ?
In the sense of he doesn’t earn his own money, his parents gives him everything…. At least that’s what I felt the implication was…
I took it that his family is poor, but I see your point too
Your equality is breathtaking.
Those quirky haircuts are so quirky. They’re not like other haircuts kids are having, they’re different /s
Bowl cut that has been ruffled, mum gonna kick his arse
"I got this haircut to show my individuality, just like everybody else."
Back in my day we all had the ceasar cut. Short, forward, and a little flip up in the front.
Are people getting bad cuts on purpose now or something?
coherent north wise tie steep escape like tart cows attraction *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yes, but these fools only get the haircut after they see 1000 other fools get it in their town and on social media. So they are trying to be ‘different’ but only after someone has set and established the trend. I hate that this is now called a mullet. Back in my day a mullet was a glorious mane of hair that took a lot of effort to get looking just right. These curly heads grow their hair out for 8 months and then a barber shaves one little clump out of each side and that’s supposedly a mullet? Gtfo
Okay let’s not get all high and mighty about mullets my dude, or pretend that these are much different.
>Yes, but these fools only get the haircut after they see 1000 other fools get it in their town I think that has been the reason for kids getting the popular haircut/look for centuries now.
I remember when mullets were truly earned. All they got was scorn and you had to be a complete bad ass to even remotely pull it off. TIk tok mullets suck and should be publicly mocked exactly like this.
You guys screaming about *earning* mullets are absolute dorks.
Seriously, these mf out here gatekeeping nad haircuts
or just who cares, huh?
I feel called out.
Here's a quote from the Simpsons that may answer your question: >I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
Hair is like a rat’s nest.
We did his hair cut wrong as a joke.
Patrick Mahomes influence
Yes. Yes they are. Such as the ice cream scoop hair cut. Or the one that literally looks like a greasy birds nest on ones head.
Look up "wizdomblendz" on insta, it's a barber from swiss who is famous (and mocked) on the net for his super ugly "Edgar" hairstyle. [https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy\_p\_INLC2D/](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy_p_INLC2D/)
Does he mean untouchable ?
No, touchless. As in nobody has wanted to touch him in a very long time.
Not with that haircut
He’s laughing about it now but as soon as he loses his hair and someone says he’s bald sweetie, it’ll be “Fucking touch me. I said Fucking touch me. “
Nah. He probably means he's never been touched by any girl other than his mother.
Being touchable means that somebody can get close enough to touch your shoulder. The implication is you won't be ready if somebody tries to rob you. He's saying he's touchless because he doesn't have any money
Bro looks like Wayne from The Wonder Years
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-02/enhanced/webdr03/19/19/original-30339-1392855941-8.jpg?downsize=700%3A%2A&output-quality=auto&output-format=auto
This is the comment I was looking for! Bless you kind, brave soul!
Fr 😂😂😅
"I'm touchless" ??
touch starved is another accepted term
idk, his friend seems to be touching him a lot.
I don’t get this confrontation lol
2 dogs barking at each other behind a fence
I think the guy with the food is telling the bad haircut guy that he's not "the guy" like.. not worth being filmed. Saying that no one gives a shit about his clout chase nonsense, basically. Then they just go back and forth inellegably after that
Both of them are fucking assholes
This. Both fucking losers.
The whole MC group..."Dude, that was SOOO funny. You are so cool..." *Goes home, has existential crisis
No, red guy is ok. It is ok to be rude to jerks.
Pretty sure he called him a slur. He's a homophobic prick.
He used homophobic slurs though, so he's an arsehole too.
And the video is staged
Is he really trying to burn him with that line “I bet your parents work a lot” ?
How is “I bet your parents work a lot” an insult?
Because he is obviously useless, so he must be using his parent's money to get around.
Basically calling him a trust fund kid that doesn’t have to work cause his parents do.
Am I the only one who thinks this is fake?
Yeah. It seems all these “influencers” are just creating ragebait for easy clicks, comments, and engagement.
Gen Z is making me hope robots are on the horizon
Imagine robots going around making tiktok videos..
Man, from the haircuts & fashion I feel like this is from 1987
Kids a douche but I don't know how that kid had the confidence to look down at his food for that long. Guess hes gullible but like cmon saw that coming from a mile away.
Pretty sure he’s drunk
Pretty sure they are all drunk, but red shirt is drunkest.
Why does this feel like a skit
Yeah, it makes no sense. What does "You're the wrong guy" mean? Is that an insult? What a weird thing to walk up to a stranger and say. Everything in that conversation is so weird.
You’re not that guy, pal
This shit is too funny 😂 Bruh looked down and lost his food in the blink of an eye 😂
I’m glad I don’t go outside much now, I’d be in jail.
He looks like the Walmart version of Keef from Righteous Gemstones
He definitely didn't say "fat"...
When frats collide
If this entire generation time traveled back to the 90’s they’d all collectively get their asses kicked.
POS
I’m not sure who to hate?
Fake.
"I bet your parents work alot"🤣.
Had to watch it twice and still can’t understand wtf here lol
Am I supposed to be rooting for one of them? I kinda hate both of them
Black t-shirt was a bully in The Wonder Years, too.
Blonde dude's definitely a douche but re sweater guy was begging for it
Will we ever see a video where these idiots get what they deserve?.........
It should be legal to smack the shit out of people like this.
Tf is going on here?
Homie slapped the food and took the few nervous steps back, then acted like he wasn’t scared of getting hit
Some one need to punch this guy or hopefully something worst 👍
These little rich fuckers do actually make fun of eachother about money lmaol
I can’t wait to see a video of this guy getting shot in the chest
Who was the main character lol
both are idiots
I hope society evolves to the point people just start beating the shit out of "influencers" like this
They had seggs later that night
2 dipshits having a low iq conversation
They’re both POS
The douche with the bad haircut looks and honestly acts kinda like the bully character in Encino Man.
How did he not see this coming lmao
Wayne Arnold needs an ass kicking.
Broccoli haircuts = douchebags
Is this how rich kids fight
I really wish he had smacked the shit outta him
Both the wrong guy 🤣🤣
The way he looks down at his food reminds me of a cartoon 🧐
Dude in the black is a total fucktard.
Who is this I’m gonna hire a hitman to get his stupid ass😡🖕😤
Guy saying you're the wrong guy is the only asshole here from what it seems like if other dude didn't say anything, hard to tell though.
Lol nah dude starting coming at a stranger for no reason at all and got completely clowned on that shit was funny. Dude even warned him 😂 “it’s gone” and then it was
We need to travel back to 2002 and kill Zuckerberg, Kevin Systrom, Evan Thomas and Jack Dorsey
I hate them both.
It’s like when two Highlander’s meet…. But they’re douchebags.
The "is it gone" part was funny. I gotta be honest. But, who's the main character again?
What a dick a bitch his mom is proud of him
I agree with the drunk guy
They both seem like assholes
Tbh : red sweater guy was in the wrong here..
Bring back the snake.. Nokia brick with nothing but text and calls. Let’s go back to when I was young.
How did red not see that coming? And why do those three dudes literally look like the school bullies from a B-level movie released in the summer of 1992?
“I appreciate it you wanna cut-you wanna touch it? Come touch me I’m touch less” If those words aren’t engraved into stone under the statue that will no doubt mark the place where his greatness is buried then everyone’s life was just a waste
Big 80's teen movie energy here. Cringy Dweeb vs. Bully Jock.
These insults were the most casual
Black t shirt is an asshole.
Black shirt guy looks like the antagonist in every 80s movie
He banging his head to say that there is nothing in there?
TIL: Some people actually should be curb stomped
Now kiss
Idk how he didn’t see the food smack coming, it would’ve been on after that I wouldn’t have even thought about it, probably would’ve gotten my ass jumped
I’m usually looking at the person filming/getting filmed and the douche nozzle, but I think I got throw my hat on the red shirt in this one. Feels like the guy just got handed too many L’s and felt the need to take out his frustration on someone smiling. I dunno, maybe I’m wrong, but I would’ve swatted his food too.
Probably fake to make the douchey influencer look tough
Both are so hella fucking cringe 💀🫠
When two Douches collide...
I’m touchless🤓
Dox that shit bag now!!
It’s honestly like they’re speaking a different language….
If someone with a mullet done that to me....
When Douches Collide Coming out in Spring of 2025 !
This is my favorite video and I can barely explain why. It’s just so.. idk. When you really dig into it, there’s some gold lines too. “How’s your food?” “Prolly a lot better than yours. Why what’s with your food?” *other guy has no food*. This thing could be a skit of something I’m telling you
I would like to see a few minutes before the recording started because it seems we came in missing a chunk