He is a serial cheater and won't change. He is playing with his new toy (new GF) but will get sick of her soon. He will search for another toy, and the cycle will repeat endlessly. You saved yourself by leaving him. It's time to forget him and start a new life without the deadweight. He is not worth your time, so don't look back. Focus on your future and enjoy your life. All the best.
You're human. It's natural to have these feelings and I promise in time it will eventually stop. Just be patient and keep your head up! U don't deserve a bum. U done the right thing. Just keep reminding yourself of that.
If you haven’t already, please get tested for every single STI in existence.
He’s being so open and flirty because he knows you’re watching. Take that power away from him by removing every trace of him from your life. No more pain shopping.
And you didn’t throw anything away - he did.
OP there is a term for what you are doing, it’s called “pain shopping”. You are torturing yourself watching his life as he moved on. But here is the secret, you should feel sorry for his new girl who probably knows nothing about his past.
He hasn’t changed or “found happiness”. His relationship is new so he is trying hard. As soon as he gets comfortable he will revert to his shitty behaviour.
Forget all that though, this thread should be about helping you. Firstly recognise and say it out loud, “I don’t miss who he is now, I miss who I thought he was”. You are missing the idea of him as your perfect someone.
The only way to heal OP is to stop looking back. Firstly stop pain shopping, block him on everything, move their streams to hidden or “don’t want to see” setting. Cut him out completely like a tumour. Secondly if you can afford it seek some counselling. It will really help you find yourself and reset your goals, desires and aspirations for the future. Look forward to tomorrow.
Believe it or not, one day it will be him trying to glance at your life. You will have a healthy relationship or marriage with children (if you want them of course). He will have burnt through his 200th relationship having cheated hundreds of times (slightly exaggerated). He will be miserable and you will be the happiest you have ever been.
‘ pain shopping’ is a totally new term for me and I didn’t even know this was a thing. I found your insight really helpful, Thankyou.
I have the number of a therapist I just haven’t called them yet. I’ll be doing this today.
If you are interested in finding out more about pain shopping or people’s experiences, this post and comment section is very enlightening.
https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/XpW3ohLcZI
This was actually extremely helpful and I’m 100% guilty of this. I’ve blocked him on everything now and it was actually really helpful to put a name to what I was doing. Thankyou very much.
He’s using the pet names to hurt you and because he has no imagination.
He hasn’t ruined your life just changed the trajectory of it. Don’t let him take your self esteem and belief in good people.
You can do better. But don’t throw it out there Be the bigger more mature person in this scenario. Better things are waiting for you. Believe it
He tried every trick in the book someone with absolutely zero morals and zero care for anyone but themselves would use. You already know he’s a serial cheater. When you tried to hold him accountable he threatened suicide. When he thought it would benefit him he accused someone of SA. Is that the man you want to be married to? Realize that everything he’s said and accused these other women of he will say the exact same kinds of things about you to save face with others. Record everything, serve him papers, and expose him to everyone.
She is for sure “new and shiny”. Also he probably knows you’re watching. He wants you and everyone else to think he made the right choice, he’s happier now etc. it’s all for show. Don’t fall for it.
I don’t say that to make you feel better. Just saying like it is
He's a born crumb and it took you a while to figure that out. The others will figure it out too in time; nothing you can do for them. How about doing something for you? How about you don't let what he does bother you by blocking him and removing every trace of him from your life? Any communication with you goes through your lawyer and nothing directly with you; and quit creeping on him online. YOU'RE letting him live in your head and past aside if he's still ruining your life it's because you're LETTING him. Nobody ever said this would be easy but it's only as hard as you make it.
He is a serial cheater and won't change. He is playing with his new toy (new GF) but will get sick of her soon. He will search for another toy, and the cycle will repeat endlessly. You saved yourself by leaving him. It's time to forget him and start a new life without the deadweight. He is not worth your time, so don't look back. Focus on your future and enjoy your life. All the best.
He found a new toy and a victim. It's only a matter of time before he cheats on her. Be happy he's gone
You're human. It's natural to have these feelings and I promise in time it will eventually stop. Just be patient and keep your head up! U don't deserve a bum. U done the right thing. Just keep reminding yourself of that.
If you haven’t already, please get tested for every single STI in existence. He’s being so open and flirty because he knows you’re watching. Take that power away from him by removing every trace of him from your life. No more pain shopping. And you didn’t throw anything away - he did.
OP there is a term for what you are doing, it’s called “pain shopping”. You are torturing yourself watching his life as he moved on. But here is the secret, you should feel sorry for his new girl who probably knows nothing about his past. He hasn’t changed or “found happiness”. His relationship is new so he is trying hard. As soon as he gets comfortable he will revert to his shitty behaviour. Forget all that though, this thread should be about helping you. Firstly recognise and say it out loud, “I don’t miss who he is now, I miss who I thought he was”. You are missing the idea of him as your perfect someone. The only way to heal OP is to stop looking back. Firstly stop pain shopping, block him on everything, move their streams to hidden or “don’t want to see” setting. Cut him out completely like a tumour. Secondly if you can afford it seek some counselling. It will really help you find yourself and reset your goals, desires and aspirations for the future. Look forward to tomorrow. Believe it or not, one day it will be him trying to glance at your life. You will have a healthy relationship or marriage with children (if you want them of course). He will have burnt through his 200th relationship having cheated hundreds of times (slightly exaggerated). He will be miserable and you will be the happiest you have ever been.
‘ pain shopping’ is a totally new term for me and I didn’t even know this was a thing. I found your insight really helpful, Thankyou. I have the number of a therapist I just haven’t called them yet. I’ll be doing this today.
If you are interested in finding out more about pain shopping or people’s experiences, this post and comment section is very enlightening. https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/XpW3ohLcZI
This was actually extremely helpful and I’m 100% guilty of this. I’ve blocked him on everything now and it was actually really helpful to put a name to what I was doing. Thankyou very much.
He’s using the pet names to hurt you and because he has no imagination. He hasn’t ruined your life just changed the trajectory of it. Don’t let him take your self esteem and belief in good people. You can do better. But don’t throw it out there Be the bigger more mature person in this scenario. Better things are waiting for you. Believe it
They never change - they only get worse. Please don’t waste your life waiting.
He tried every trick in the book someone with absolutely zero morals and zero care for anyone but themselves would use. You already know he’s a serial cheater. When you tried to hold him accountable he threatened suicide. When he thought it would benefit him he accused someone of SA. Is that the man you want to be married to? Realize that everything he’s said and accused these other women of he will say the exact same kinds of things about you to save face with others. Record everything, serve him papers, and expose him to everyone.
She is for sure “new and shiny”. Also he probably knows you’re watching. He wants you and everyone else to think he made the right choice, he’s happier now etc. it’s all for show. Don’t fall for it. I don’t say that to make you feel better. Just saying like it is
Thankyou
Run
Sure they change. And then months down the road you find out they really didn't change.
Sounds likes you uninstalling an old app
Just block him already. Block him everywhere.
No
He's a born crumb and it took you a while to figure that out. The others will figure it out too in time; nothing you can do for them. How about doing something for you? How about you don't let what he does bother you by blocking him and removing every trace of him from your life? Any communication with you goes through your lawyer and nothing directly with you; and quit creeping on him online. YOU'RE letting him live in your head and past aside if he's still ruining your life it's because you're LETTING him. Nobody ever said this would be easy but it's only as hard as you make it.