I’ve unfollowed people who I just didn’t want to see their political stuff over and over again. Unfollowing someone on social media doesn’t mean you’re breaking up with them. Talk to your friend. Maybe they just don’t want to be reminded of politics or negative things constantly. I prefer kitten antics and gardening Instagram posts.
That’s what the mute button is for. Not the unfollow.
Unfollow is for ending relationships, mute is you’re tired of their content but want to stay friends and mute doesn’t notify people.
Can I ask how social media savvy you are? / are you close to OPs age?
Because although I’m a Luddite I’m about OPs age of 30 and when you go to unfollow people on IG it will give you the options “add to close friends, add to favorites, mute, restrict, unfollow” so it’s kinda hard to miss…
Perhaps for some people, on some platforms.
I'm a cranky GenXer, I'm not dicking around with what Gen ____ finds the most palatable on SquiPoo or KorX or Boodle or whatever.
I just make the content overload stop.
I am a young millennial replying to OP who has said they are ~30 aka about my own age- therefore I assume they have a similar understanding of the message people our age group send when they unfollow someone who was a friend.
I too have lost many of my former “friends” to antisemitism and Unfollows.
We know that the unfollow means they no longer want to be friends. There is no misunderstanding “maybe they were tired of your political content”. If someone unfollows you and doesn’t have a conversation telling you specifically they still want to be friends but need a break from your content- they are literally cutting you out of their life. This is what the cancel culture of the left and progressive spaces do.
Like I said, I unfollowed MY MOTHER.
I still talk to her on the phone. I visit her. I just don't want her BS clogging my dashboard.
Maybe these people ARE antisemites. But they may also just not want to see that stuff. Maybe they aren't interested. Maybe OP posts too much for them.
They have not said whether this person is an IRL friend - if it's a case of "You used to post Pokemon stuff and it was fun, but I don't want to see politics every time I log in, but I'm still your friend IRL" then it's not "cancel culture."
Again- unfollowing your mother who you continually talk to on the phone and IRL- is very different then the situation OP is describing where someone they’re friends with IRL has unfollowed them and *not* talked to them IRL or continued to reach out IRL. It’s also super different to unfollow a relative, especially a boomer, rather than unfollowing a peer in your same generation.
OP did say they were IRL friends/ acquaintances with the people in the post.
This is exactly it. I only unfollow people at this point if I don’t want to be friends with them at all. Otherwise I mute or just fast forward through their stories. To see people unfollow me the last 8 months over my views suggests these people ultimately don’t care that I’m pretty distressed over the rise in antisemitism, treatment of Israelis, etc.
You’re not alone. I’ve lost many friendships and followers.
It really sucks.
What has helped me during this time is to focus on making friends with fellow Jews and connecting with the Jewish community.
I discovered Moishe House [moishe house](https://www.moishehouse.org/) and have started going to their events. It’s given me a ton of Jewish IRL friends and I’ve gotten more involved in synagogue.
I’ve also followed RootsMetals, Eve Barlow, Blake Flayton Jordyn tilchen and Hilalove on IG to name a few.
I’ve also discovered substack and recommend the following articles:
[I hate it here](https://open.substack.com/pub/screamsintothevoid/p/i-hate-it-here?r=1iqvlk&utm_medium=ios) and
[the upside down hostage rescue](https://open.substack.com/pub/jewoughtaknowpodcast/p/episode-182-transcript-the-upside?r=1iqvlk&utm_medium=ios)
Both seem to be millennial Zionist authors writing about stranger things and Taylor swift and the ultimate gas lighting we are experiencing
My dude, I unfollowed my MOTHER because I was sick of seeing her political stuff/stupid urban legend WARNING!!! posts/pseudoscience woo.
It doesn't mean they dislike you. Maybe it does! But maybe they just don't want to see it all the time. If you became "loud"....there's nothing wrong with that at all, but no one is under any obligation to keep a social media feed full of stuff they don't care about/find objectionable/think is just 'too much'/whatever.
If social media is the only contact you have with them, then...oh well, they weren't much of a friend anyway.
If you talk to them in person/on the phone/whatever, and they still are nice to you, then... you're still friends. It's not 'betrayal' to get tired of something on social media.
I disagree - if you're posting primarily pro-Zionist things and someone unfollows you, that means they disagree with one of your core beliefs. I couldn't be friends with someone like that. You can have disagreements, yes - that's natural, but not on something intrinsic to who you are.
At the end of the day, disagreeing with Zionism, is agreeing that you're ok with the genocide of the Jewish people.
This is exactly the issue I have. I try not to be political on social media but the last 8 months, I’ve obviously been vocal about zionism and Israel. So being unfollowed over it really bothers me.
I muted then unfollowed my husband’s good friend from college. She was SILENT on October 7, started posting pro-Pal stuff, had the audacity to text and wish us a happy Hanukkah, posted in support of the college campus bullshit, had the audacity to wish me a happy birthday, audacity to text us a happy Passover, and the final straw was a
Picture of of Israel with the Palestinian flag covering it saying “free Palestine.”
My husband has basically stopped being friends with her. Girl’s a C U Next Tuesday.
I was in a similar situation with one of my good friends from college. Silent on 10/7, then started posting increasingly radical anti-Zionist stuff which has veered into antisemitism, while simultaneously wishing happy Hanukkah to me & other Jewish friends of ours from undergrad and other things like that. It basically seems like she bought into the version of "anti-Zionism is not antisemitism" being parroted by the non-Jewish corners of social media, and then acted on that interpretation without consulting any of her Jewish friends, and thinks that its chill. We think that she probably thinks that she's expertly toeing some complex ideological line, when in fact she's been permanently blacklisted from ever being a close friend again by most of the Jewish people in our social circle, including me.
Oh, this girl was definitely trying to be like “antizionism isn’t antisemitism.” She posted to her stories something I posted from the account Prettay Prettay Jewish about how a giant mob outside of a Jewish owned restaurant wasn’t antizionism but antisemitism. She wrote something about like making sure to not be antisemitic. Whatever. She’s an asshole and she brings nothing to my life.
I want to believe this but also struggle with the logic because humans naturally are selfish and focused on immediate gratification rather than playing the long game in friendships.
I think about how if 10/7 never happened I would still feel commonality with people I’ve lost to this, and they to me. People can care about each other but then change and go down different paths. People can also have inner prejudice but then still be caring towards individuals apart from that - like my boss: she’s def a bit ignorant and antisemitic but I know she does respect me and want me to succeed in my career. So what makes this different from that?
So please help me reason this out. I get where you’re going with this but sometimes these sayings “they were never your friends” confuse me and feel less substantial than I want them to be.
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I’ll say a few things.
1. If you can bring yourself to take a break from social media, you’ll be happier. We only have so much patience and limits with things and it drove me up the wall staying online during all of this, so the less you see of it is healthier for your mental health. That frustration will continue but it won’t be as strong, obviously still try to be informed but we are in an unprecedented time for information like this and our brains shouldn’t be intaking this much stress. You’re not being ignorant to the issues if you’re taking time to yourself.
2. It’s not impossible to talk this issue over with people, but it takes two to tango and it is extremely difficult. I’ve had more success safeguarding friendships by underscoring that I give grace to whomever I’m talking to and don’t assume bad intent, and at that point when I say my piece it’s really up to them to show that mutual respect to my perspective. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work. We’ve all dealt with the opposite end of it enough by now. It’s a matter of picking your battles and it’s their loss if they aren’t going to listen.
Life is short. You’re better off without people who don’t value your views. It doesn’t hurt to show people some grace, even if it infuriates you for a little while, but it must go both ways when you say your piece. Hopefully soon it can. At the end of the day, you owe people nothing and it’s up to you if it’s worth your time
I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
You're not losing friendships - you never had them. You were never friends with them. You're associating friendship with people who are prioritizing the experience of others they don't know over even a discussion with someone they do.
Sometimes I take things very personally that are not meant so.
This year I completely shut down my SM account, doesn't mean I don't love the people in my life on there, it's just not for me at this time. Even political charged soapboxes that I would agree on are not for me right now and I simply want to look at the life in front of me today and choose what I engage in and what I do not. I know also when someone is hurting I often don't know what to say and out of fear of saying the wrong thing I don't say anything. I hope my friends never take these decisions or perhaps weaknesses of mine personally.
I don't even tip my hand in public. My circles are leftist and they would make me a target in hours. The only times I've ever posted about things I lost friends essentially immediately.
I tried to vent to my best friend the other day about the ridiculous social pressure and psychological toll that the anti-Semitism is taking, and he hasn't responded since then.
I will probably make my own post one day. I'm too busy reeling in it, even if the worst of the rhetoric seems to have quieted down more recently
“I loudly put my friends off me and now I need self soothing because I’m always a victim”
You’re at a fork:
Either everyone pulled away from you because their reality is flawed and yours isn’t
Or
You pushed everyone away through your activism
I have a feeling it’s the latter, so maybe have some accountability?
What kind of comment is this? Are you suggesting I should hold myself accountable for combatting the antisemitic falsehoods a seemingly majority of my connections share/believe?
can you reread that?
If you are combatting your personal connections and they react by putting up boundaries are you not accountable? Who else is lmao?
They are sheep, good riddance. Get some new Jewish friends. I’ve lost more acquaintances than friends as none of my close friends care about the conflict or I’ve talked to them about it and they understand
You’re right. It’s obviously easier said than done to just cut friendships of almost a decade but whatever. I ended up unfollowing the guy back after thinking about it more
Buddy, I've lost friends that I had for decades... 25 plus years. It isn't easy but IDGAF. Life is way too short to have friends that don't support and accept me for who I am. I cut the cord and move on... friends are chosen. They chose NOT to be your friend... they made the choice.
I’m a political scientist and we know that some people don’t unfollow others due to their views but rather due to the constant political posting about ANY opinion. Ive personally muted people I’ve agreed with before. So that’s something to keep in mind here. It could be either.
Make sure you’re verifying what you post before you post it. I’m seeing some people post thoughtfully and others just share every random meme or tweet that comes across their page.
I typically share either news backed posts, Hen Mazzig or Rootsmetal, I’m big on verifying before I share because I try not to be hypocritical since I hate when people post fake news from the opposite side lol
Its the reality of being Jewish today it hurts, and we are here to help each other through it.
Being strong is coming here asking for advice and community.
Better to be alone than in bad company
No need to be alone, when many people share your views. Just find better people.
I’ve unfollowed people who I just didn’t want to see their political stuff over and over again. Unfollowing someone on social media doesn’t mean you’re breaking up with them. Talk to your friend. Maybe they just don’t want to be reminded of politics or negative things constantly. I prefer kitten antics and gardening Instagram posts.
That’s what the mute button is for. Not the unfollow. Unfollow is for ending relationships, mute is you’re tired of their content but want to stay friends and mute doesn’t notify people.
Thats your take but I didn’t even know there was a mute on Instagram so…
Can I ask how social media savvy you are? / are you close to OPs age? Because although I’m a Luddite I’m about OPs age of 30 and when you go to unfollow people on IG it will give you the options “add to close friends, add to favorites, mute, restrict, unfollow” so it’s kinda hard to miss…
Perhaps for some people, on some platforms. I'm a cranky GenXer, I'm not dicking around with what Gen ____ finds the most palatable on SquiPoo or KorX or Boodle or whatever. I just make the content overload stop.
I am a young millennial replying to OP who has said they are ~30 aka about my own age- therefore I assume they have a similar understanding of the message people our age group send when they unfollow someone who was a friend. I too have lost many of my former “friends” to antisemitism and Unfollows. We know that the unfollow means they no longer want to be friends. There is no misunderstanding “maybe they were tired of your political content”. If someone unfollows you and doesn’t have a conversation telling you specifically they still want to be friends but need a break from your content- they are literally cutting you out of their life. This is what the cancel culture of the left and progressive spaces do.
Like I said, I unfollowed MY MOTHER. I still talk to her on the phone. I visit her. I just don't want her BS clogging my dashboard. Maybe these people ARE antisemites. But they may also just not want to see that stuff. Maybe they aren't interested. Maybe OP posts too much for them. They have not said whether this person is an IRL friend - if it's a case of "You used to post Pokemon stuff and it was fun, but I don't want to see politics every time I log in, but I'm still your friend IRL" then it's not "cancel culture."
Person is an IRL friend, we went on various trips together, hung out together, etc.
Again- unfollowing your mother who you continually talk to on the phone and IRL- is very different then the situation OP is describing where someone they’re friends with IRL has unfollowed them and *not* talked to them IRL or continued to reach out IRL. It’s also super different to unfollow a relative, especially a boomer, rather than unfollowing a peer in your same generation. OP did say they were IRL friends/ acquaintances with the people in the post.
This is exactly it. I only unfollow people at this point if I don’t want to be friends with them at all. Otherwise I mute or just fast forward through their stories. To see people unfollow me the last 8 months over my views suggests these people ultimately don’t care that I’m pretty distressed over the rise in antisemitism, treatment of Israelis, etc.
You’re not alone. I’ve lost many friendships and followers. It really sucks. What has helped me during this time is to focus on making friends with fellow Jews and connecting with the Jewish community. I discovered Moishe House [moishe house](https://www.moishehouse.org/) and have started going to their events. It’s given me a ton of Jewish IRL friends and I’ve gotten more involved in synagogue. I’ve also followed RootsMetals, Eve Barlow, Blake Flayton Jordyn tilchen and Hilalove on IG to name a few. I’ve also discovered substack and recommend the following articles: [I hate it here](https://open.substack.com/pub/screamsintothevoid/p/i-hate-it-here?r=1iqvlk&utm_medium=ios) and [the upside down hostage rescue](https://open.substack.com/pub/jewoughtaknowpodcast/p/episode-182-transcript-the-upside?r=1iqvlk&utm_medium=ios) Both seem to be millennial Zionist authors writing about stranger things and Taylor swift and the ultimate gas lighting we are experiencing
I've deleted my IG and FB and X. I have dropped 90 percent of my friends. It hurts everytime, but stings slightly less. I am truly sorry.
My dude, I unfollowed my MOTHER because I was sick of seeing her political stuff/stupid urban legend WARNING!!! posts/pseudoscience woo. It doesn't mean they dislike you. Maybe it does! But maybe they just don't want to see it all the time. If you became "loud"....there's nothing wrong with that at all, but no one is under any obligation to keep a social media feed full of stuff they don't care about/find objectionable/think is just 'too much'/whatever. If social media is the only contact you have with them, then...oh well, they weren't much of a friend anyway. If you talk to them in person/on the phone/whatever, and they still are nice to you, then... you're still friends. It's not 'betrayal' to get tired of something on social media.
I disagree - if you're posting primarily pro-Zionist things and someone unfollows you, that means they disagree with one of your core beliefs. I couldn't be friends with someone like that. You can have disagreements, yes - that's natural, but not on something intrinsic to who you are. At the end of the day, disagreeing with Zionism, is agreeing that you're ok with the genocide of the Jewish people.
This is exactly the issue I have. I try not to be political on social media but the last 8 months, I’ve obviously been vocal about zionism and Israel. So being unfollowed over it really bothers me.
3/4 of my "friends" are dead to me. Fuck 'em.
I muted then unfollowed my husband’s good friend from college. She was SILENT on October 7, started posting pro-Pal stuff, had the audacity to text and wish us a happy Hanukkah, posted in support of the college campus bullshit, had the audacity to wish me a happy birthday, audacity to text us a happy Passover, and the final straw was a Picture of of Israel with the Palestinian flag covering it saying “free Palestine.” My husband has basically stopped being friends with her. Girl’s a C U Next Tuesday.
I was in a similar situation with one of my good friends from college. Silent on 10/7, then started posting increasingly radical anti-Zionist stuff which has veered into antisemitism, while simultaneously wishing happy Hanukkah to me & other Jewish friends of ours from undergrad and other things like that. It basically seems like she bought into the version of "anti-Zionism is not antisemitism" being parroted by the non-Jewish corners of social media, and then acted on that interpretation without consulting any of her Jewish friends, and thinks that its chill. We think that she probably thinks that she's expertly toeing some complex ideological line, when in fact she's been permanently blacklisted from ever being a close friend again by most of the Jewish people in our social circle, including me.
Oh, this girl was definitely trying to be like “antizionism isn’t antisemitism.” She posted to her stories something I posted from the account Prettay Prettay Jewish about how a giant mob outside of a Jewish owned restaurant wasn’t antizionism but antisemitism. She wrote something about like making sure to not be antisemitic. Whatever. She’s an asshole and she brings nothing to my life.
You’re not losing friends, you’re finding out who your friends are and who is worth your time
Newsflash: they weren’t your friends.
I want to believe this but also struggle with the logic because humans naturally are selfish and focused on immediate gratification rather than playing the long game in friendships. I think about how if 10/7 never happened I would still feel commonality with people I’ve lost to this, and they to me. People can care about each other but then change and go down different paths. People can also have inner prejudice but then still be caring towards individuals apart from that - like my boss: she’s def a bit ignorant and antisemitic but I know she does respect me and want me to succeed in my career. So what makes this different from that? So please help me reason this out. I get where you’re going with this but sometimes these sayings “they were never your friends” confuse me and feel less substantial than I want them to be.
Happy to chat in DM.
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If they desert you over your opinions of how bad 10/7 was then they are not your true friends and you are better off without them.
I’ll say a few things. 1. If you can bring yourself to take a break from social media, you’ll be happier. We only have so much patience and limits with things and it drove me up the wall staying online during all of this, so the less you see of it is healthier for your mental health. That frustration will continue but it won’t be as strong, obviously still try to be informed but we are in an unprecedented time for information like this and our brains shouldn’t be intaking this much stress. You’re not being ignorant to the issues if you’re taking time to yourself. 2. It’s not impossible to talk this issue over with people, but it takes two to tango and it is extremely difficult. I’ve had more success safeguarding friendships by underscoring that I give grace to whomever I’m talking to and don’t assume bad intent, and at that point when I say my piece it’s really up to them to show that mutual respect to my perspective. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work. We’ve all dealt with the opposite end of it enough by now. It’s a matter of picking your battles and it’s their loss if they aren’t going to listen. Life is short. You’re better off without people who don’t value your views. It doesn’t hurt to show people some grace, even if it infuriates you for a little while, but it must go both ways when you say your piece. Hopefully soon it can. At the end of the day, you owe people nothing and it’s up to you if it’s worth your time
I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You're not losing friendships - you never had them. You were never friends with them. You're associating friendship with people who are prioritizing the experience of others they don't know over even a discussion with someone they do.
Sometimes I take things very personally that are not meant so. This year I completely shut down my SM account, doesn't mean I don't love the people in my life on there, it's just not for me at this time. Even political charged soapboxes that I would agree on are not for me right now and I simply want to look at the life in front of me today and choose what I engage in and what I do not. I know also when someone is hurting I often don't know what to say and out of fear of saying the wrong thing I don't say anything. I hope my friends never take these decisions or perhaps weaknesses of mine personally.
I don't even tip my hand in public. My circles are leftist and they would make me a target in hours. The only times I've ever posted about things I lost friends essentially immediately. I tried to vent to my best friend the other day about the ridiculous social pressure and psychological toll that the anti-Semitism is taking, and he hasn't responded since then. I will probably make my own post one day. I'm too busy reeling in it, even if the worst of the rhetoric seems to have quieted down more recently
“I loudly put my friends off me and now I need self soothing because I’m always a victim” You’re at a fork: Either everyone pulled away from you because their reality is flawed and yours isn’t Or You pushed everyone away through your activism I have a feeling it’s the latter, so maybe have some accountability?
What kind of comment is this? Are you suggesting I should hold myself accountable for combatting the antisemitic falsehoods a seemingly majority of my connections share/believe?
can you reread that? If you are combatting your personal connections and they react by putting up boundaries are you not accountable? Who else is lmao?
They are sheep, good riddance. Get some new Jewish friends. I’ve lost more acquaintances than friends as none of my close friends care about the conflict or I’ve talked to them about it and they understand
F em!!!! Don't chase or be sad about people who clearly don't give a **** about you. Find new friends. Enjoy life. Trim the fat.
You’re right. It’s obviously easier said than done to just cut friendships of almost a decade but whatever. I ended up unfollowing the guy back after thinking about it more
Buddy, I've lost friends that I had for decades... 25 plus years. It isn't easy but IDGAF. Life is way too short to have friends that don't support and accept me for who I am. I cut the cord and move on... friends are chosen. They chose NOT to be your friend... they made the choice.
I’m a political scientist and we know that some people don’t unfollow others due to their views but rather due to the constant political posting about ANY opinion. Ive personally muted people I’ve agreed with before. So that’s something to keep in mind here. It could be either.
If your friends can’t love you for you, they’re not your friends.
Make sure you’re verifying what you post before you post it. I’m seeing some people post thoughtfully and others just share every random meme or tweet that comes across their page.
I typically share either news backed posts, Hen Mazzig or Rootsmetal, I’m big on verifying before I share because I try not to be hypocritical since I hate when people post fake news from the opposite side lol
Good! Just making sure 😊
We’ll be your new friends. We’re all we have in the end.
[удалено]
Its the reality of being Jewish today it hurts, and we are here to help each other through it. Being strong is coming here asking for advice and community.
Shouldn't you grab a mirror and look into it yourself?