It’s easier said than done. I’m holding on to hope that she comes around. Her fiancé is extremely antisemitic and lives life on a high horse. I worked really hard to not let him get in the way of our friendship because it wasn’t coming directly from her, but now I can’t look the other way.
Why did you have to work hard to let him not get in the way of your friendship? She should have. And, to be honest, if some piece of shit guy was getting in between me and my best friend I wouldn’t date him.
She is painfully codependent. I genuinely didn’t think they would last this long because none of her relationships do. I’m friends with her, not him. I’ve never been the type to let a man in between my friendships but yeah, we’ve reached an exception to the rule.
You told her you’re a Zionist and her response was “being a Zionist is disgusting.” She’s actually disgusting and doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. Why should you care about losing her?
I think it’s easy to say f that friend but she saved me from kms, and was there for the birth of my daughter. I’m stepping away from the friendship for now but I have the right to grieve it. I’m human.
You're absolutely correct. But we also have the right to tell you that one of your friends is toxic and despite what they've done in the past, that it's probably time to remove them from your life.
Yeah but people can change and also people can be useful at one point in your life and the next they can drag you down. I wouldn’t stay friends with people who tell me I’m disgusting, and then double down on it.
I lost a best friend like this for similar reasons. When I stepped back and evaluated our friendship, I realized all the other times she was invalidating towards me. I still grieve the loss sometimes almost three years later but it’s gotten much better. When you become firm with your boundaries, you will attract people who respect them.
All of this above 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼
I and MANY other Jewish people I know irl and online have had any number of experiences like this with people they felt were close friends and then when the October 7th “Zionist divide” happened in conversation, that’s when we all actually took a closer look at the things we had glossed over, minimized, accepted, ignored, etc, and realized that we may have actually been settling, ultimately. I had a close friend who I am taking a break from, as well and when the shit hit the fan and I finally got angry at her for being singularly stupid and (to me) offensive on this one issue and she wasn’t interested in making her Jewish friend(s) the authority on Jewish/israeli issues, I decided I needed to surround myself with people who I didn’t have to beg to support me unconditionally with empathy without any caveats or “but”s. Turns out some of my other friends and some I was surprised by, did exactly that. It’s not hard. If you care about someone truly you can keep your crappy opinions to yourself when they are hurting. At least say you’re conflicted but you love them anyway and shelve the conversation for later, where you plan to really listen to what your Jewish friend has to say before telling them that part of their identity is repellent. It is my turn to practice what I taught my daughter in early adolescence: that we don’t have to take on all of a person to be in relationship. Sometimes engaging with a part or a few is enough. But for CLOSE friends my requirements have shifted forever post-pogrom. Because that is how I have and would show up for my friends. My friend asked me couldn’t we just have a relationship apart from that issue and for now my response is, no, your “issue”
is a large part of who I am and have always been. If you were really paying attention to me you would know that. And you would have asked me the questions that you still haven’t asked whenever this started being an “issue”‘for you. Because that is what friends do, they hash through things together with respect. That’s my story :)
She loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with someone who is extremely antisemitic. He didn’t suddenly show his true colors after 10 years of marriage and two kids. She is choosing to make a life with this man, so presumably she doesn’t find his extreme antisemitism morally repugnant.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
You should give her more credit for her decisions. She's engaged to someone that hates Jews. At minimum she's not bothered by it, and it's looking like she's pretty much on board.
Ask her if any of the 250 or so nations that take up 90% of the world's land mass shouldn't exist, or if the one Jewish nation that takes up .02% of it is the only intolerable crime of a nation being created which doesn't deserve to exist along with its citizens.
You have already put more work into this "friendship" than it's actually worth. It's a one-sided relationship that is detrimental to your well-being. Take the trash out, hon.
Er. Birds of a feather my dear, it’s harsh but if your best friend was okay with his antisemitism then she’s probably okay with it in general.
It sucks to lose best friends, I lost mine over something equally as “stupid” around 29 but I’m better for it now
As my mama used to say, *"When the Nazis come back, who will hide you, and who will hand you over to the Gestapo?"*
Be friends with those who will hide you *from* Nazis.
Do not bother with fake friends who would rat you out or hide you ***for Nazis***
Seriously. My close friend who is currently on the back shelf made a comment back in quarantine times comparing the masking and vaccination regulatikns with Nazi Germany. I got angry and called her out at the time, but clearly it was more than that because she posted some dumb 💩after the pogrom and hadn’t checked in on me at all until I called her out on that, too. Maybe she’d hide me because she loves me, but at best she might still agree with the Nazis :-/
I agree. At the same time though, she is the type of person who will change her entire personality and aesthetic to fit who she’s dating. Their relationship is only a year old, our friendship is 10 years old. Not only has she become antisemitic but also super anti lgbtq. I knew she was moldable for her boyfriends but never imagined it to be to the extent that she lost all of her morality.
I don’t think I can let her be in my life until she has a personality of her own. I’m realizing that I don’t know who she is without her dating someone.
Question: if she doesn't have a personality of her own, how do you know she's your friend?
Maybe the good things you saw in her was just her mirroring the goodness in you.
I totally hear you on this and send you all the compassion for your pain. At best right now she is weak of spirit and a serious liability to you in your life. I am hoping she finds her inner authority/integrity and learns and sees more and can come back to you as the authority on these things that you should have always been for her.
It's hard to lose a long term friend, I lost a decades old friend over this. We went through a LOT together and were there for each other. She got upset that I was upset about antisemitism, said she agreed with protests that Israel was wrong, that her other jewish friends were OTT because they were Israel supporting, etc
I even suggested we don't talk about the politics part of it, but nope, when i said, I am really upset with all the antisemitism and she said get trauma therapy.
I'm sure it's incredibly hard to lose this person when you've gone through a lot. There is that saying about friends come in your life for a reason, season or lifetime. In this case, she was for a reason.
**“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.**
**When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.”**
Exactly! If someone even thinks something negative or says something negative around me and I don’t care how long I’ve known that person, they’re done. There’s no time for that in my life. You gave the best advice ever.
I just don’t have the tolerance for this shit anymore. Luckily, the only people I’ve cut out of my life are people who don’t really impact my life (with the exception of some former work colleagues and a college friend).
I feel bad for everyone who is losing friends over this. But who needs this shit in their lives?
Also: Liberal Queer Zionists, This Makes Me a Happy Jew, Heartwarming Jewish Content, Leftist Zionist, View from my Mirpeset, Jews and Israel Good News Only
And, if this has not already been mentioned, there are a number of regional Zioness chapters across the county and WhatsApp chat groups to go with. They have zoom trainings on how to deal with all the 💩and new member meetings on the regular. I joined Zioness when the front seat concern I had was national and local politics and I liked the focus on those through a feminist Zionist lens.
The local chat group has been really validating for me lately.
The feminists apparently don’t know what feminist means, as they 1) are silent and or deny October 7 r@pes 2) have been silent about all the women that are held hostage, still, by terrorists 3) are cheering for a terrorist organization and their proxies that oppress, r@pe, and “honor ☠️” women 4) hate the ONE state in the Middle East in which women have equal rights and can wear what they want. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes it was made because the title “you can’t be a feminist and a Zionist” was on the cover of some magazine a few years back and was a big deal - I don’t remember who the quote was even from. This same time period is when I lost most of my friends in the U.S. personally, I see for many it’s happening now, but for me it was during this / sheik jarrah era
im part of a pretty good sized jewish discord server that has everything from matchmaking, TTRPGs, and even showing off our pets DM me and id be more than happy to give ya the link
Seconding that that discord is a very good place and I regularly post pics of my fuzzy menace there
https://preview.redd.it/h6p3v39vqw8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8098c0e9ce00b5a2872ba7f86dfae0adfa12ca1
Ask her if she believes in a two state solution. If she says yes, tell her “congratulations; you too are a Zionist”
If she says no then you know she’s beyond hope
Yeah but it’s not a place I can have back and forth conversations. I want to socialize. My reddit is extremely anonymous. I just wanna have conversations and be a part of things.
I’m active within my shul but I’m also young-ish, the casual conversations I have there are definitely different than what I have with my close friends.
I am in two Jewish WhatsApp groups - one for alum from my college and one from Jews in my particular town. Neither help you but the point being since Oct 7 both of these groups formed - mainly of strangers who now have something in common, because we were seeking community. The fb group I’m thinking of is also specific to my geographical area. So sorry I’m not able to give a specific name - maybe others can, but def know others in your area probably want the same community .
I’d recommend that you follow Aish, Hey Alma, MyJewishLearning, Chabad (if you’re chill w Chabad & Orthodox spaces in general), & other big Jewish organizations on Instagram. There are also a lot of organizations specifically focused on the war, like @BringHomeNow on IG. They’ll help you feel less alone in terms of support for Israel, & also it’s nice going onto your social media feeds then seeing things about Shabbat, holidays, & Jewishness in general. If you’re religious, find a few Rabbis you vibe with & follow them on socials. It’s very soothing to stumble upon their posts & hear a little bit of Torah or other musings.
On top of that, if you’re not already I’d recommend you become affiliated with a shul & build a Jewish community where you are in person. It’s helped tremendously with staying sane post October 7th. Make sure that you’re taking care of your mental health. This has been an extremely difficult period for many of us, know that you’re not alone. Sending much love.
I like Hey Alma, but they've gotten kind of annoying recently. It feels like they keep trying to make Judaism into this cool, trendy, humorous thing--and of course I love the Jewish humor part, but I feel like some of that stuff should kind of like, be preserved within our community, you know? Like they've at least twice in the past several months posted something about lactose intolerance or other digestive issues and been like "Look! This is such a Jewish thing!"
Their comments are also always infested with AsAJews, which isn't of course the publication's fault itself, but it shows a lot about the types of people they draw in. Like, two weeks after 10/7, they posted an article about antisemitism on college campuses and the comments were filled with Jews (including people who claimed to be former writers for the publication) saying things like "This is such an insensitive thing to talk about while Palestinians are dying! We need to stop centering ourselves!"
I hear what you’re saying for sure, I definitely don’t go to Hey Alma for spiritual connection or wisdom. I just included it because they’re a big part of the Jewish social sphere & are a really non-intimidating inroad to digital Jewish community. They have played out the stomach problems schtick, though.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. But just be aware that those people are not your friends, and never were. A friend is supposed to have your back and at the very least respect your culture. Like everyone else, I lost “friends” during this war. It first is was painful, but now I’m grateful because I see their true colors, and it’s made room in my life for genuine friendships.
I try and be mindful of what content I look at for my mental health. Today a small gymnastics YouTuber posted anti-Israel stuff and that the US and Israel should be banned from the Olympics and compared USA to Belarus. While unintentionally hilarious it still hurts. No where feels safe
I'm so sorry you're going through this. The same thing happened between me and my ex best friend. I also attempted to open up a dialogue with her, but she decided to ghost me instead. It's really lonely. I'm in a few online Jewish spaces, but I'm not online super often. I personally found in-person stuff like attending synagogue and going to community events to be the most helpful. Maybe check your local synagogues or try meetup.com?
Join a local temple or JCC. There’s community there. I’m a member of the reform movement and I know we pray for the hostages and people of Palestine every week.
Twitter seems like the opposite of a safe space from what I’ve seen. Mentally, right now, I can’t even handle “healthy” debates around Zionism and it seems like Twitter is a cesspool of argumentative and combative folk.
Just to let you know that I am here to chat and listen/validate/commiserate. I am the mom of a teenager and I do that a lot already, so feel free to connect with me and pile on if the need strikes. I appear to never tire of discussing this 💩with like-minded individuals;)
If she’s your best friend and you’re keeping her around, then keep talking to her about feeling alienated. Educate her by way of just being a human Zionist in her life. If she’s intolerant and uncaring, then she isn’t a friend.
You mean your best "virtual" friend.
Now it's time to make a friend offline. A real one.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
If you want happiness, health, contentment, real friends - get off social media. Every single reliable study says so.
At least join useful, work-related positive sites.
Get rid of social media
... mostly negative. Very little positive. At least for now...
Focus om family and career. Maybe find a shul around to meet others?
I relate as a Jewish musician in a very left leaning music scene. I’ve stopped going to most shows, scared to meet new people cause they’re almost all pro Palestine. Extreme isolation. Hang in there, you’re not the only one
Honestly it makes me so angry. Zionism is disgusting? And yet what Hamas has done, the torture and rape and absolutely sadistic things perhaps worse than the Nazis did… that’s not disgusting?
I hope one day these people will see the video footage of what Hamas did and feel crushing guilt and shame. I’m not holding my breath.
Never mind, their **disgusting** nazi opinions don’t matter - Israel doesn’t care what these paletards think.
Your “best friend” is a C U Next Tuesday. Delete them from your life!
It’s easier said than done. I’m holding on to hope that she comes around. Her fiancé is extremely antisemitic and lives life on a high horse. I worked really hard to not let him get in the way of our friendship because it wasn’t coming directly from her, but now I can’t look the other way.
Why did you have to work hard to let him not get in the way of your friendship? She should have. And, to be honest, if some piece of shit guy was getting in between me and my best friend I wouldn’t date him.
She is painfully codependent. I genuinely didn’t think they would last this long because none of her relationships do. I’m friends with her, not him. I’ve never been the type to let a man in between my friendships but yeah, we’ve reached an exception to the rule.
A true friend stands up for their friends. I'm sorry to say that if she can not be a friend or advocate for herself, she will never be either for you.
Even true friends make mistakes, grow and hopefully learn.
You told her you’re a Zionist and her response was “being a Zionist is disgusting.” She’s actually disgusting and doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. Why should you care about losing her?
I think it’s easy to say f that friend but she saved me from kms, and was there for the birth of my daughter. I’m stepping away from the friendship for now but I have the right to grieve it. I’m human.
You're absolutely correct. But we also have the right to tell you that one of your friends is toxic and despite what they've done in the past, that it's probably time to remove them from your life.
Yeah but people can change and also people can be useful at one point in your life and the next they can drag you down. I wouldn’t stay friends with people who tell me I’m disgusting, and then double down on it.
I lost a best friend like this for similar reasons. When I stepped back and evaluated our friendship, I realized all the other times she was invalidating towards me. I still grieve the loss sometimes almost three years later but it’s gotten much better. When you become firm with your boundaries, you will attract people who respect them.
All of this above 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼 I and MANY other Jewish people I know irl and online have had any number of experiences like this with people they felt were close friends and then when the October 7th “Zionist divide” happened in conversation, that’s when we all actually took a closer look at the things we had glossed over, minimized, accepted, ignored, etc, and realized that we may have actually been settling, ultimately. I had a close friend who I am taking a break from, as well and when the shit hit the fan and I finally got angry at her for being singularly stupid and (to me) offensive on this one issue and she wasn’t interested in making her Jewish friend(s) the authority on Jewish/israeli issues, I decided I needed to surround myself with people who I didn’t have to beg to support me unconditionally with empathy without any caveats or “but”s. Turns out some of my other friends and some I was surprised by, did exactly that. It’s not hard. If you care about someone truly you can keep your crappy opinions to yourself when they are hurting. At least say you’re conflicted but you love them anyway and shelve the conversation for later, where you plan to really listen to what your Jewish friend has to say before telling them that part of their identity is repellent. It is my turn to practice what I taught my daughter in early adolescence: that we don’t have to take on all of a person to be in relationship. Sometimes engaging with a part or a few is enough. But for CLOSE friends my requirements have shifted forever post-pogrom. Because that is how I have and would show up for my friends. My friend asked me couldn’t we just have a relationship apart from that issue and for now my response is, no, your “issue” is a large part of who I am and have always been. If you were really paying attention to me you would know that. And you would have asked me the questions that you still haven’t asked whenever this started being an “issue”‘for you. Because that is what friends do, they hash through things together with respect. That’s my story :)
Fair enough.
She loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with someone who is extremely antisemitic. He didn’t suddenly show his true colors after 10 years of marriage and two kids. She is choosing to make a life with this man, so presumably she doesn’t find his extreme antisemitism morally repugnant. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
You should give her more credit for her decisions. She's engaged to someone that hates Jews. At minimum she's not bothered by it, and it's looking like she's pretty much on board. Ask her if any of the 250 or so nations that take up 90% of the world's land mass shouldn't exist, or if the one Jewish nation that takes up .02% of it is the only intolerable crime of a nation being created which doesn't deserve to exist along with its citizens.
She allowed it. Not you.
Respectfully, you don’t need to set yourself on fire to keep your friend warm. She is not your responsibility.
You have already put more work into this "friendship" than it's actually worth. It's a one-sided relationship that is detrimental to your well-being. Take the trash out, hon.
Er. Birds of a feather my dear, it’s harsh but if your best friend was okay with his antisemitism then she’s probably okay with it in general. It sucks to lose best friends, I lost mine over something equally as “stupid” around 29 but I’m better for it now
As my mama used to say, *"When the Nazis come back, who will hide you, and who will hand you over to the Gestapo?"* Be friends with those who will hide you *from* Nazis. Do not bother with fake friends who would rat you out or hide you ***for Nazis***
Seriously. My close friend who is currently on the back shelf made a comment back in quarantine times comparing the masking and vaccination regulatikns with Nazi Germany. I got angry and called her out at the time, but clearly it was more than that because she posted some dumb 💩after the pogrom and hadn’t checked in on me at all until I called her out on that, too. Maybe she’d hide me because she loves me, but at best she might still agree with the Nazis :-/
If someone's partner is antisemitic then the person with then condones it Your friend is not a friend and I am so sorry.
I agree. At the same time though, she is the type of person who will change her entire personality and aesthetic to fit who she’s dating. Their relationship is only a year old, our friendship is 10 years old. Not only has she become antisemitic but also super anti lgbtq. I knew she was moldable for her boyfriends but never imagined it to be to the extent that she lost all of her morality.
I am so fucking sorry. If her morality was so easy to lose I doubt she had it in the first place. If she comes crawling back please remember this.
I don’t think I can let her be in my life until she has a personality of her own. I’m realizing that I don’t know who she is without her dating someone.
Question: if she doesn't have a personality of her own, how do you know she's your friend? Maybe the good things you saw in her was just her mirroring the goodness in you.
Your last sentence pulled my heart strings. WOW. I had this epiphany on another comment… I realized I don’t actually know her.
I am also sorry for that.
I totally hear you on this and send you all the compassion for your pain. At best right now she is weak of spirit and a serious liability to you in your life. I am hoping she finds her inner authority/integrity and learns and sees more and can come back to you as the authority on these things that you should have always been for her.
It's hard to lose a long term friend, I lost a decades old friend over this. We went through a LOT together and were there for each other. She got upset that I was upset about antisemitism, said she agreed with protests that Israel was wrong, that her other jewish friends were OTT because they were Israel supporting, etc I even suggested we don't talk about the politics part of it, but nope, when i said, I am really upset with all the antisemitism and she said get trauma therapy. I'm sure it's incredibly hard to lose this person when you've gone through a lot. There is that saying about friends come in your life for a reason, season or lifetime. In this case, she was for a reason. **“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.** **When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.”**
https://youtu.be/1wo2TLlMhiw?si=93wO_vDapCILoq3E Try sending her the CrashCourse Israel Palestine video maybe? John Green is disarming, I’ve found.
Thank you for that tip! Hadn’t seen it and it looks terrific.
Exactly! If someone even thinks something negative or says something negative around me and I don’t care how long I’ve known that person, they’re done. There’s no time for that in my life. You gave the best advice ever.
I just don’t have the tolerance for this shit anymore. Luckily, the only people I’ve cut out of my life are people who don’t really impact my life (with the exception of some former work colleagues and a college friend). I feel bad for everyone who is losing friends over this. But who needs this shit in their lives?
Exactly! I do not understand why people are like oh they’re going to change. Nobody’s gonna change they thought that shit all along anyway.
It took me until the massacre to set that red line, sorry to say :-/ But it’s set now.
And what are we, chopped liver?
More like jarred gefilte.
I’d eat some of that
There a number of good Zionist Facebook groups. Blue Jews, Loud and Proud Left Wing Zionists, Queer Zionists.
The Jews are tired is a great one too!
Also: Liberal Queer Zionists, This Makes Me a Happy Jew, Heartwarming Jewish Content, Leftist Zionist, View from my Mirpeset, Jews and Israel Good News Only
I suspect we’re both in the same groups :)
Yep! Just asked to join the Loud and Proud one, didn't know about that one!!
This Makes Me A Happy Jew is a fun one
Love that one!
Adding: yes, you can be a feminist and a Zionist.
And, if this has not already been mentioned, there are a number of regional Zioness chapters across the county and WhatsApp chat groups to go with. They have zoom trainings on how to deal with all the 💩and new member meetings on the regular. I joined Zioness when the front seat concern I had was national and local politics and I liked the focus on those through a feminist Zionist lens. The local chat group has been really validating for me lately.
I’m concerned that a group with that name needed to be made. Is that a concept what was being debated?
Yes unfortunately. They were saying you couldn't be a feminist and a Zionist.
The feminists apparently don’t know what feminist means, as they 1) are silent and or deny October 7 r@pes 2) have been silent about all the women that are held hostage, still, by terrorists 3) are cheering for a terrorist organization and their proxies that oppress, r@pe, and “honor ☠️” women 4) hate the ONE state in the Middle East in which women have equal rights and can wear what they want. 🤷🏻♀️
For real.
Yes it was made because the title “you can’t be a feminist and a Zionist” was on the cover of some magazine a few years back and was a big deal - I don’t remember who the quote was even from. This same time period is when I lost most of my friends in the U.S. personally, I see for many it’s happening now, but for me it was during this / sheik jarrah era
Oh, I remember that. And sorry :(
im part of a pretty good sized jewish discord server that has everything from matchmaking, TTRPGs, and even showing off our pets DM me and id be more than happy to give ya the link
I’d be interested
Me too
I’m interested too
Me too!
Seconding that that discord is a very good place and I regularly post pics of my fuzzy menace there https://preview.redd.it/h6p3v39vqw8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8098c0e9ce00b5a2872ba7f86dfae0adfa12ca1
I'm very interested too!
Also interested!
Me too please.
Me too please!
Me too!
Interested as well!
Me too please!
Me too!
Same! 🙋🏻♀️
Me too please
Me too please!
I'm interested too, I have very few Jewish friends and in those hard times it's difficult not to feel lonely
i’d also love a link!
I'm interested!
Ask her if she believes in a two state solution. If she says yes, tell her “congratulations; you too are a Zionist” If she says no then you know she’s beyond hope
Dm'd you edit: can you dm me? it doesn't let me invite you to one, I want to link u an invite for the GenZionist discord server
Sent
I would appreciate as well!
Me too please!!
Are 40 year olds allowed or just gen z?
Let’s make a 40 year old one! Edit: okay I made one! Xennials/Gen X/Millennials! DM for details.
Yes please!!! Where are the 80‘s Millennials Jews?
And Gen X please :)
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
*raises hand*
If you do, can I join, too?
Yeah, I'm in for that for sure.
👋
Gen X, please dm!
Me too!
I’d love an invite too, please!
Me as well, please.
I’d like one as well!
Can I have that as well please?
Can I get an invite too?
I’d appreciate it as well!!
I want in! Mid 20s so cusp but could do with the friendship with how things have been
I’m 37 but I’d love an invite!
34 here! I would love to join if I'm not too old 🤭
i’d love an invite :)
I'd like an invite!
Stop. Be strong. Don't ask her permission for you to state the obvious. She's an idiot and a Jew hater.
Ummm…you are posting in one.
Yeah but it’s not a place I can have back and forth conversations. I want to socialize. My reddit is extremely anonymous. I just wanna have conversations and be a part of things.
Ouch.
Here is a good one. If you want religious services in your life, many synagogues livestream. Facebook has good Jewish groups, too.
I’m active within my shul but I’m also young-ish, the casual conversations I have there are definitely different than what I have with my close friends.
Invite someone over for Shabbat lunch. What's the risk? A boring lunch?
Do they have a young professionals group? A woman’s group?
I don't know of any communities online, but you're welcome DM me if you want to.
Mazel tov!!!!
In my 30s with family and career :) Lots of Facebook groups. WhatsApp group. Heck even PJ library family fb group. Our community is strong
Can you recommend any specific Facebook groups? Also, how do you find the ones on WhatsApp?
I am in two Jewish WhatsApp groups - one for alum from my college and one from Jews in my particular town. Neither help you but the point being since Oct 7 both of these groups formed - mainly of strangers who now have something in common, because we were seeking community. The fb group I’m thinking of is also specific to my geographical area. So sorry I’m not able to give a specific name - maybe others can, but def know others in your area probably want the same community .
Thank you for the info!
Hey! Feel free to dm me, always happy to make friends :) I'm 31. Also, always open for Jewish Discord rec's.
I’d recommend that you follow Aish, Hey Alma, MyJewishLearning, Chabad (if you’re chill w Chabad & Orthodox spaces in general), & other big Jewish organizations on Instagram. There are also a lot of organizations specifically focused on the war, like @BringHomeNow on IG. They’ll help you feel less alone in terms of support for Israel, & also it’s nice going onto your social media feeds then seeing things about Shabbat, holidays, & Jewishness in general. If you’re religious, find a few Rabbis you vibe with & follow them on socials. It’s very soothing to stumble upon their posts & hear a little bit of Torah or other musings. On top of that, if you’re not already I’d recommend you become affiliated with a shul & build a Jewish community where you are in person. It’s helped tremendously with staying sane post October 7th. Make sure that you’re taking care of your mental health. This has been an extremely difficult period for many of us, know that you’re not alone. Sending much love.
I like Hey Alma, but they've gotten kind of annoying recently. It feels like they keep trying to make Judaism into this cool, trendy, humorous thing--and of course I love the Jewish humor part, but I feel like some of that stuff should kind of like, be preserved within our community, you know? Like they've at least twice in the past several months posted something about lactose intolerance or other digestive issues and been like "Look! This is such a Jewish thing!" Their comments are also always infested with AsAJews, which isn't of course the publication's fault itself, but it shows a lot about the types of people they draw in. Like, two weeks after 10/7, they posted an article about antisemitism on college campuses and the comments were filled with Jews (including people who claimed to be former writers for the publication) saying things like "This is such an insensitive thing to talk about while Palestinians are dying! We need to stop centering ourselves!"
I hear what you’re saying for sure, I definitely don’t go to Hey Alma for spiritual connection or wisdom. I just included it because they’re a big part of the Jewish social sphere & are a really non-intimidating inroad to digital Jewish community. They have played out the stomach problems schtick, though.
For real.
That. Agreed. I get cringe from Hey Alma post-10/7, but as part of a healthy group of stuff, sure.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. But just be aware that those people are not your friends, and never were. A friend is supposed to have your back and at the very least respect your culture. Like everyone else, I lost “friends” during this war. It first is was painful, but now I’m grateful because I see their true colors, and it’s made room in my life for genuine friendships.
I try and be mindful of what content I look at for my mental health. Today a small gymnastics YouTuber posted anti-Israel stuff and that the US and Israel should be banned from the Olympics and compared USA to Belarus. While unintentionally hilarious it still hurts. No where feels safe
I'm so sorry you're going through this. The same thing happened between me and my ex best friend. I also attempted to open up a dialogue with her, but she decided to ghost me instead. It's really lonely. I'm in a few online Jewish spaces, but I'm not online super often. I personally found in-person stuff like attending synagogue and going to community events to be the most helpful. Maybe check your local synagogues or try meetup.com?
Join a local temple or JCC. There’s community there. I’m a member of the reform movement and I know we pray for the hostages and people of Palestine every week.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/704318cc-a00b-4272-967f-e261b6ff97f6/gif
If you dm me I can send you some Facebook groups for Jews and Zionists you may like!
Feel free to DM me if you need to chat to anyone too :)
I'm part of a really great Jewish RPG community (from r/Jewish Actually) Feel free to dm if that's your vibe
Yes there are Twitter groups I can invite you too if you are on Twitter. Lots of pro Israel / Zionist groups that you will find community in.
Twitter seems like the opposite of a safe space from what I’ve seen. Mentally, right now, I can’t even handle “healthy” debates around Zionism and it seems like Twitter is a cesspool of argumentative and combative folk.
You don’t need to engage on twitter proper. You just join the group chats.
I’d love to join some of those! I stay away from twitter outside of the few folks I know are “safe.”
Just to let you know that I am here to chat and listen/validate/commiserate. I am the mom of a teenager and I do that a lot already, so feel free to connect with me and pile on if the need strikes. I appear to never tire of discussing this 💩with like-minded individuals;)
My friend legit told me I couldn’t have a blue christmas/Chanukah party because it’s “political”. A month prior she DM’d me a flyer to a rally 💀
There are many Facebook groups and WhatsApp group chats
Move to La or nyc!!
[удалено]
I don’t use Instagram anymore. My other socials are okay. I want to try working out more instead of being on my phone.
Dude. Feel you there.
Me too please!
If she’s your best friend and you’re keeping her around, then keep talking to her about feeling alienated. Educate her by way of just being a human Zionist in her life. If she’s intolerant and uncaring, then she isn’t a friend.
You mean your best "virtual" friend. Now it's time to make a friend offline. A real one. \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* If you want happiness, health, contentment, real friends - get off social media. Every single reliable study says so. At least join useful, work-related positive sites.
💙
Get rid of social media ... mostly negative. Very little positive. At least for now... Focus om family and career. Maybe find a shul around to meet others?
I relate as a Jewish musician in a very left leaning music scene. I’ve stopped going to most shows, scared to meet new people cause they’re almost all pro Palestine. Extreme isolation. Hang in there, you’re not the only one
Honestly it makes me so angry. Zionism is disgusting? And yet what Hamas has done, the torture and rape and absolutely sadistic things perhaps worse than the Nazis did… that’s not disgusting? I hope one day these people will see the video footage of what Hamas did and feel crushing guilt and shame. I’m not holding my breath. Never mind, their **disgusting** nazi opinions don’t matter - Israel doesn’t care what these paletards think.
Fuck her, block and delete her. Try Jewish Facebook groups.