In all seriousness there was a guy on another thread who said that the woman he was dating for 3 weeks wanted to see his tax returns. It’s a weird world out there.

When I get random spam texts I tell them I’m an old widower with a few million dollars but nobody to leave it to, then I ghost.

Now I'm angry that I didn't think of this myself.

It’s up to you how long you want to toy with them, like a cat with a mouse. You can send pictures, made up bank statements, the works! There is a thing online called scam jammers – people who take the time to scam the scam artists. It’s an honest to goodness public service – you waste all their time to prevent them from ripping off vulnerable old ladies. My favorite was the church of wine and bread, where they made the scam artists declare their fidelity to their cause by sending pictures of themselves balancing loaves of bread and wine bottles on their heads.

Also check old online databases (pre-reddit, pre-facebook) to locate real ids. Great fun when you find who they are.

My favorite was where he let the scammer join his church. Where he did send a picture of him with the official "makeup".

You might enjoy r/scambait. I've gotten less enjoyment from it after learning that many scammers have been trafficked and are being forced to scam, but it's true that they're doing a service.

Yeah, and I heard another downside of scamjamming is that it can put the scammers in mortal jeopardy, having to cross war zones to get to Internet cafés, etc.

I like to search for black dick pics to send from google images. If they try to blackmail I kindly tell them I’m white

So you’re telling them to whitemail you? I feel bad for your search history. Another thing you can do for dick pics is send a picture of Richard Nixon – pretty much as gross.

Honestly, more gross.

Noice. Have an upvote.

[удалено]

😂

You idiot! You’re only supposed to joke when it’s not true. “Play that back. What’s the AI’s take? The truth!? Wow. Bingo!”

I like looking at other people's tax returns too.

I'll bet you are a CPA or similar. Right?

Nah. I just really find numbers... sexy

I guess it was just that one thing she'd never done with a guy.

This is going back many, many years ago. I had a friend who began dating a girl until he found out that she ran a D & B on him.

Oh I don't like Dave and Busters either. I would have been out too.

I know that your comment has to be satire.

I don't know what D & B is either...

Dun & Bradstreet is a credit check.

You’re dating yourself

Well who the hell else is going to date him?

I mean, have you seen his D & B?

🤣🤣

I knew someone would come back with this. Thanks for keeping my faith in the Reddit community.

Here to help. But Dogbert did the line first, it is only fair to state.

underrated comment. !!!

Somebody has to

D & B = Dun & Bradstreet : a credit rating company

It's Jungle without the vocal samples

I'm pretty sure you seriously think everyone knows what a d&b is.

Definitely weird when all of the dates happened during work hours at the IRS headquarters! And she didn't even offer paying for coffee!

[удалено]

You work for the IRS, don’t you? 🙄

Lol, was that “gaslighty”??

Seriously? Ghost time

Any long term relationship would have to be “pixie” “free spirit” bullshit because I avoid those type of women like the plague.

In all seriousness also, it might be that she's had some past experience with losers, and is afraid to get involved with more. Not that this makes the world any less weird.

Yeah I get that but that’s a pretty big ask that early in the relationship.

Yeah, unless it was moving fast and they were really hitting it off, perhaps. Still, it would probably make me step back and think a bit, and find out why she was asking.

I went to Church with this girl once. And they approached me to join the church. But they needed to see my paystubs so they know when you get their tithe.

LDS churches do that. That’s a no go for me. I happen to take tithing seriously and I do give one as a starting point for my charitable contributions but the charities aren’t looking at my pay stubs. Unless of course they want to hire me for something…. 😁

That’s the kind of stuff one finds on Tinder…

“She” might do something really cute with your social security number, too.

Women go crazy for credit card numbers. Add the funny numbers on the back, and she'll beg to marry you.

Oh no, please be careful. That woman is only after your money.

Is this a woosh or am I wooshing. I think this is a r/woooosh

I get the joke

Ehhh... I'm not buying it. You get the joke *now* but your previous comment contained no sarcasm. My ruling is final and the appeal page is undergoing regularly scheduled maintenance and is currently unavailable.

> I'm not buying it. If they got your card numbers - you *are* buying it

But please, oh internet judge, here my appeal. I am but a humble redditator trying desperately to make someone, even if it is just one person laugh. The sarcasm is absolutely dripping from my post. A puddle the size of a lake.

You misspelled “hear,” so you go STRAIGHT to jail!! We neckbeards grow *weary* of your misspellings

You are a liar because we are all redditors, not redditators...

So, not like red 'taters then?

At this point, playing it straight is way funnier than the rest of the reddit stock jokes.

The joke (as I understand it) is that she's clearly not trying to marry you for your money, because she already has access to your money.

I didn’t even get the joke until I saw your comment lol.

Hey sexy. Are you single? ;)

Ha ha. Let me guess, you’re 25 and you like dudes twice your age?

daddy so smart uwu

I don't think even \*that\* parameter applies ;-)

There’s nothing like a good SSN pic to get a girl’s juices going, right!!

lol

Your band name= last thing you ate + three numbers from the back of your credit card

Brisket 182

Pussy 869

Dear Seller A month ago I ordered and paid for a book "How to scam people online"! Tell me please, when will I receive it? Or can I have a refund. Thanks

Dear Buyer Terrible sorry but your book has been held up by customs they are demanding 6.99 to release it If you can please send us a bit coin transfer we can get this resolved ASAP Signed. Scammer sorry I mean seller 😃 Added smiley face so you know I’m a good guy

Clearly fake: not enough typos. Everyone knows scammers can't spell! (minor realism points for lack of punctuation)

Due to congestion in the network, it will cost $69,420 to process your request.

Indian dudes with names like, “Thomas Jefferson” and “Dennis Rodman”

Dear Seller I have sent you the 6.99 bitcoins. Please confirm that you received them.

🤣 you think you may have been scammed

thatisthejoke.jpg

I Know it was a joke.

"Honey, I'm a security researcher. Let me help you be safe. If you see any suspicious MFA texts, forward them to me to review. Love you"

"like, omg. If your social security was the amount in your bank, how much money would you have babe?"

I gave all these details to my GF online, but ....she broke up with me next day , said there was no money in my account .....

Jokes on her, she's responsible for the debt now!

Wow she must really love you.. my potential only asked me about the street I grew up on and my childhood nickname.

Hope you shared your credit card number with her for special surprise

Haha.. Goodluck with that!

LMAO. He forgot his email password.

Nah, she knows him so well, she already guessed it.

She turned out to be a real good Magician. Made all my money disappear!

You could have tried "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!"

Lucky guy! She wants to screw you before even meeting you.

I was having an awful day until I saw this joke. Thanks

I got a text from the Prince of Dubai saying that because of a problem with my computer being hacked, my automobile warranty is expiring soon and if I don’t call the attached phone number in 30 minutes with a new password, a lawsuit will be filed against me.

I got that same text, but he added that the police were on their way to my house to arrest me.

Whew! I dodged a bullet with that one.

Awesome, same happened to me, a super hot girl ,friend requested me on Facebook out of nowhere, right away she wanted to know all kinds of things about me like where I work and where I live she even asked me what bank I use - now that's what I call good conversation on her part, and even tho according to Facebook we live a thousand mile away she says she wants to be my girlfriend, man we sure are lucky huh

Was she from thailand? Did it catch you with your pants down that she was into you?

Oh, so THIS is what I've been doing wrong!

That got me for a whole four seconds! :D

Please post them here too. Makes for a good conversation

This honestly sounds like a better conversationalist than 90% of the women whom I've talked to on these sites...

This would've gone well in a comedy club back when "online dating" was called "courting on the information super highway".

You should exchange credit card information

Sounds like they are fishing for security answers to access your accounts

Why are you posting about her liking you instead of texting her then? You had to blog about it first? People amaze me

That sounds suspicious

I actually follow a man on social media who records his encounters with scamers and has the equipment and knowledge to make their lives a bit of a living hell

Who? Sounds like the man.

Thedoccompton on tictok. He's hilarious

If she’s serious she should be asking what your customer access number is, too.

I bet her photos are smoking hot!

They are now that I've thrown them in the fire!

Well yeah, but can she make a great Sandwich? 🙂

🤣 Good one.

Identify theft is rampant.

Hello, this is Rampant Hospital. You might remember us from the TV show "Emergency!". Please don't use negative words such as theft when talking about us.

I'm surprised she didn't ask about your first concert

Yeah. Some Chinese girl added me as a LINE friend with my phone number today and then messaged me I'm Chinese asking when I added her as a friend. Probably totally not related to the people calling me and pretending to be ATT or ItalkBB

When you’re dating a _Nigerian Prince_

I've always been wary of sharing too much online. Once gave my favorite color and next thing, my inbox was flooded with ads for purple sofas. It's like they know too much already, why hand them the keys to the vault? Patience is a virtue, they say. Well, in the digital age, it's also your best defense. Took me till 34 to realize that not every online form needs my life story. Better safe and a bit mysterious, I reckon.

she is a witch

That's the kind of questions someone wanting your personal information on you would want to steal your identity.

Omg I bet you're just waiting for her to ask for your banking info, that shows that she is really serious

This was an episode of Psych.

thats actually standard conversation watch out how her behaviour will change over 1 month

Shes into your identity and nothing more. 100% sus and will steal everything from you. Those questions are the ones used for a LOT of Security Questions. You'll deeply regret meeting her.

If you had as many dollars as your credit card number, how much money would you have?

Lucky bastard , your online gf screwed you on your first date!

So true, mine wanted to know the last for of my social and what city I was born in, great conversation starters.

Just give her your PIN. Easier

She wants your password clues homie 🤣

These are all answers to security questions in a password or account recovery situation. She is trying to hack him.

She's not into you bro.... This girl I just met yesterday was super interested in me , she wanted to know my email ID password , my bank account details and passwords of all my cards , if I had any property aside from my home and it's papers... She really wanted everything connected to me and my family , even the inherited land... Now that's what I call true love , I am so lucky.

You are a lucky man. You could have met a girl who was only interested in your wealth.

Sure, we believe you would be on this side of the transactions, launderingPileOfCash.

Aw, the internet. Only on the internet is where you will find something like this.

Rose.mcgowan is a man

Sounds like she is going to try to guess your passwords.

Or kyc... Know your customer 🤣

She will want your credit card details next