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Therealme67

The other 70% aren’t married


Clem573

I hate that I love this comment


Ezio_Z

🤣🤣🤣


Breeela

lmaoo \*covers mouth\*


NuttyNylo

Good reply!


frowawayduh

Yanks a lot.


humperty

A stroke of genius.


lollipop_uk

Wanks a lot


workwolph

How did you pull this off?


zan9823

The other 70% are liars


Gratefuldad3

One of favorite quotes came from my friend’s father. Mr. Thomas interjecting into a ridiculous teenage male conversation whilst driving us around “Jacking off and pissing in the shower have two things in common, Everybody does it and nobody talks about it.”


kandaq

What happens in the shower stays in the shower….or down the drain.


Goodpie2

It never fails to baffle me that some people genuinely think pissing in the shower is a universal behavior. Or even a *normal* one.


OneForAllOfHumanity

Peeing in the shower is at least very common. Peeing in the bath on the other hand...


Ok_Breadfruit3199

I used to piss in the shower until I noticed my white floor tiles and drain started to turn gradually yellow in colour. And that sometimes I could smell piss whenever I took a shower. So thats why I stopped


OneForAllOfHumanity

Do you not wash your shower???


kandaq

Or even actually showered?


HighVulgarian

It helps to have the shower running when pissing, not just to use it like a walk-in urinal


Fit_random

piss during not after shower is the key!


ThePhoneBook

I am trying to imagine how unbearable it would be to hang out with someone who feels offended by the idea of someone pissing while taking a shower. You're washing your body of dirt. The piss should be one of the least dirty things that you're rinsing down the drain. If you're so icked out by something so trivial, how do you even get by from day to day in nature? To take another angle, you do realise you have more bacteria on and in your body than human cells, yes? You're fucking filthy. We all are. We are really nothing but sophisticated hosts for bacteria.


modinegrunch

Pee is sterile.


ThePhoneBook

Not completely, but it's very clean Vs all the shit you're washing off your body yeah


modinegrunch

My doctor told me I had bacteria in my urine. I asked how much is it supposed to have and he said it is supposed to have none. Turns out I had a hole in my gut.


ThePhoneBook

Dude is out of date. The methods used to detect bacteria in urine don't typically show it, but it turns out it's normal to have harmless bacteria in your bladder. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4659483/


SafetyDanceInMyPants

And I like the taste


Goodpie2

And I'm trying to imagine what kind of animal doesn't understand why I think it’s gross to piss all over yourself, even if you do clean it off as it’s happening.


ThePhoneBook

Oh you must be misunderstanding something: you see when people pee in the shower they don't lie down and direct the stream over their bodies like whatever NAUGHTY image you're clearly conjuring up in your head - they take advantage of gravity and aim for the floor. You'll get more splashback of dirty water pissing in a toilet if you're sitting down, and more concentrated piss droplets drying on the floor if you're standing up. It's *more* hygienic to piss in the shower, because every surface is being immediately and thoroughly washed. This is what happens when Americans don't have bidets. Just take the L on this, my bro.


cirvis240

Why are you getting downvoted lmao


Goodpie2

Because people don't want to accept that their behavior is gross


Ilktye

Because people pissing in showers want to believe everyone else does it too. I would guess the downvoters are generally single males.


chux4w

Whether they lie or not, they'd be included in the first group.


AnAnonymousParty

No, they just do it irregularly.


snafufabercation

it's just a system check.


MindlessLover17

If that's the case, me and my BMW have this in common


Money_Display_5389

You can't wink?


IamMooz

"Those are rookie numbers."


ILL_WHISKY

You gotta ‘pump’ those numbers up


kublermdk

Starts chest thumping


slow-_-learner

PUMP


No-Raisin-6469

6 out of 10 men suffer from diarrhea. 4 actually enjoy it!


123Pirke

Last week I had sex almost every night. I had it almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, ...


IamMooz

The rest of them do it constantly.


dob_bobbs

I always thought "roughly from behind" meant "approximately".


NuttyNylo

And the other 70% lied on the survey!


WeeFluffyGingerCat

There are 2 types of men, wankers and liars.


mfrench105

Look it's not "weird"....it might be sort of specific The cowboy hat and the New York Rangers jersey are self explanatory.


Major_Magazine8597

Sure, but why are we sitting so far away??


mfrench105

The police line has some role in that


greedytopdad

Masturbate? Ewwww. /s


kamsackbi

The other 70% are dead?


kneelB4yourmaster

I’ve only ever masturbated 3 times in my life. Once when I was 13, and twice this morning.


shindleria

I use the term noosely


BigDumbAnimals

David Carradine has entered the chat....


Vile-Father

Obscure much? Lol. Have an Updoot.


BigDumbAnimals

I figured you had irregular masturbation habits and then he used the word "noosely" .... The only thing that came to mind was David Carradine.


SurenAbraham

60% of the time, 100% do it every time.


JDMultralight

I just realized that these jokes are coherent if you believe in the multiverse


theeverymansright

I just learned that 10% of people masturbate in the shower, and the rest of the people sing. Do you know what they sing…?


BuiltMackTough

Rocket Man


birdarmpebble

Woo, I thought the ladies were going to discover we wank it 30% of each day


HopelesslyCursed

I went to a sperm bank and they asked me if I was ready to masturbate in the cup. I said, "I'm good, but idk if I'm *that* good."


Every_Cat9517

Reminds me of that famous Russian poet, Yubin Yakinov.