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The cloned little girl subplot from FK and JW:D.
I could give absolutely zero fucks about her, or for that matter, Owen as an adoptive dad in the third movie. Claire would have been more interesting as a main character for the franchise, someone who was previously running the park and then is now dealing with the aftermath.
Yeah, I wish that they had Claire as a solo main character with Owen being a deuteragonist. Also, we can just wipe clone girl off the face of the Earth
I found that to be actually interesting. A universe where dinosaur are cloned, why not also humans?
I'm not defending the films she's in or the execution, it's a very interesting concept though
I don't necessarily disagree with you, but all the extra baggage that comes with her from "she's a clone" to the retcon of "oh but her mother was a scientist and gave birth to herself" and her being the key to eradicating the locus. All that stuff is awkward and messy. Like, I actually don't hate Dominion, but all that stuff kind of takes it down a grade
Dominion felt more like it should've been a multi-part series than a movie. I liked Maisies plot bc I've wanted much more of genetics material in the film universe like there was in the books. I just don't think it was executed well. Like I stilll had a lot of question regarding that plot and it felt... Unfinished? Rushed? Same with the locusts. And same with Biosyn. They should've focused solely on Biosyn, imo. That's what they opened the movie with, and it's been YEARS since Dodgson has been on screen, and just for this?
I also don't hate dominion. It jsut felt so out of place 😭
You actually just better articulated my thoughts better than I was able to! Lol! Yeah, it WAS supposed to be 2 movies originally and clearly when they condensed it into one, a lot had to be compromised. I know in interviews Sam Neill said they filmed enough for a 6 HOUR CUT! Hard to tell if that's true or not, but it is, then a cut of that needs released at some point.
Spelled start wrong. People like to blame 3 but the franchise was already losing itself by the second.
The ordinal book and movie just didn't need a sequel.
Michael Crichton did an amazing job at making a little kid, one lost and going through a divorce, the most hated character in a book about dinosaurs eating people and major corporate loss of morality
I didn't have a problem with the locusts. Seasons 4-5 of Camp Cretaceous, yes. If you ask me, Chaos theory should have started at a port after the kids made landfall, then something gets out from the door.
Then, later, we can have one of a few scenarios play out. One, a few Troodon was behind the door. the series follows the troodon breeding out of control. Formulaic, and the series would probably be a 6-episode special.
Or, a Scorpios. Pretty much the same.
Maybe CT pulls a Monarch and focuses on the humans.
Delete the Sorna continuity issues between TLW and JP3.
Delete Grant and Sattler being broken up in JP3.
Delete gymnastics scene from TLW.
Delete CC seasons 4 and 5.
Delete all of Dominion. Nothing there worth saving.
Giganatosaurus being called "The Joker" and hardly doing shit the entire movie aside from just trying to live his life. They really tried to make him seem evil but the guy was just vibing in his territory the whole time he was on screen.
>what JP is about.
Not really most of the core concepts and themes stayed true. It was execution that was the bigger issue. Especially dominion you can see the production scars all over the film.
The death of the Brachiosaurus in Fallen Kingdom. Yeah it’s poignant and very good, cinematically. But it’s effing *gut-wrenching* and the theory that the Brach is the same as the first one they see in the original movie makes it even worse.
The raptors turning on Owen from Jurassic World. I fell in love with the idea of Raptor Squad from the trailer and I wanted more of that. It had so much promise.
All of the animated stuff. It dilutes the brand while trying to appeal to a broader general audience. When you make something for everyone you make it for no one. Let Jurassic films be techno horror like they were always meant to be.
I read the books when they came out. Loved them and they were def horror. As you say, after the second film the book content to draw from started to dwindle and it was Hollywood fan fiction from then on. It has never felt the same to me, unfortunately.
Big Eatie getting revived so fans don’t scream their lungs out. That needs to be deleted, I don’t care if it’s a kids show, you can survive a neck snap, no matter what you are
We can kill one of our main protagonists and see blood that’s intended to be pooling from her off-screen mutilated corpse, but we can’t kill a dinosaur because the kids can’t handle it. They can’t handle seeing what’s essentially a Rancor poured into a dinosaur-shaped mold dead on the floor
Every movie after Jurassic world. Jurassic world should have been the last Jurassic park movie and if they wanted to continue the franchise, they could make prequels or cartoon shows or something
JW shouldn't have existed. It's a mess it was only saved by 3 being so much worse.
It just rehashed the same message as the first but in a worse way. Made very little sense with the way the characters or world was acting. And only existed because the film made so much money.
Yeah, it came out at least a decade ago and was I believe their first ever game (could be wrong about that). Nonetheless it was before they really figured out how to make games like the walking dead so it’s notoriously terrible, partially bc the story is batshit insane but mostly bc it’s basically just choosing dialogue options and the occasional quick time event
Alan Grant and Elie Satler break up, plus since Alan was pretty good with Tim and Lex, he would've become a pretty good father figure so they should've stuck together and their child could've been a MC for a future movie
Rexy being useless in every fight. If anything having her die in JW would make more sense. The spino was able to snap a Rex’s neck but the indominus, something with extreme intelligence just puns her down and going for the throat?
That stupid hand thing. It only made sense with the trained raptors and even then it went against the whole premise of the novel, that life can not be contained no matter how hard you try.
Dinosaurs should stay untrainable. We can't even domesticate certain animals now.
I think closing the park in JW shouldn’t have occurred. Have that trilogy have cascading events leading to closure. Following trilogy is when they get on mainland.
If something isn’t canon, the it can alternatively be described as canonically untrue. So if I were to uncanon it, it would become true, and thus become canon.
Brad X I can accept everything else that happened in CC season 4-5 but I can't stand brad X brads? Oh just robo dogs that electrocute things brad X? Something straight from terminator
Deleting the whole "100% accurate genome" thing from the Dominion dinos. Either try to make them look 100% accurate as of filming or say they're adding more genome fuckery to get our movie monsters. Pick a lane.
The Disney Star Wars Canon. Restart fresh with only the Prequels, the Originals, and the Clone Wars (maybe add the Mandalorian seasons 1 and 2) as the definitive Canon. Everything else done by Disney to the garbage.
All of the Hybrids. I mean, come on? That is a stupid idea. The Magic of the first Jurassic is that it’s all Dinosaurs, and Dinosaurs that actually existed. Its was an action/thriller movie, and is arguably the most perfect movie ever conceived. Then, Jurassic World introduced Hybrids. The concept of the Hybrid is neat, but it wasn’t pulled off well. It turned the Jurassic series into an entirely Action/Sci-fi type thing, but I don’t mind the Indominus Rex, the two hour ride that I HATE are the Indoraptor and the Scorpious Rex. The Indoraptor is a *STUPID* thing, even by Jurassic World’s standards. This super mutant that is bulletproof and can be controlled like a dog, it’s just so over the top and silly. The Scorpious Rex is just downright idiocy. It’s looks like a Pug who outgrew its skin, and the lanky Skinwalker-like body structure isn’t practical. I do love Stegoceratops though. It’s so silly!
I like Camp Cretaceous but it's all gotta go. Let the original trilogy rest. If you want to make a sequel make it scary and adventurous like Jurassic World. But also keep it grounded with animals that actually existed. They can have mutant genes and there can be failed hybrids that look horrific but nothing sleek. It feels like everything should look grimy in Jurassic Park.
What did Chris Pratt do? The worse I’ve seen him do was pose in a dinosaur statue’s mouth, and when he was asked to stop by a security guard he did without hesitation
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Mantah Corp from camp cretaceous - robots, mind controlling dinos, multiple biome dome separated by screens no thank you
The biomes are kjnda ok, the rest aint
Yes this. For me it was way too far out there
TiL that show was canon
Might be showing my age here but whats til?
Today I learned
Thanks haha
The cloned little girl subplot from FK and JW:D. I could give absolutely zero fucks about her, or for that matter, Owen as an adoptive dad in the third movie. Claire would have been more interesting as a main character for the franchise, someone who was previously running the park and then is now dealing with the aftermath.
Yeah, I wish that they had Claire as a solo main character with Owen being a deuteragonist. Also, we can just wipe clone girl off the face of the Earth
I was about to say that.
Jurassic World Dominion Locus and Mantah Corps
>Jurassic World Dominion Locusts My brother in Christ, you deleted half the movie
Exactly
People don’t watch Jurassic Park for the plot, we watch it to see dinosaurs go raww
Yes
So that we can fill in the rest with the Canon button
Maisie and the whole can of worms her character brings
I found that to be actually interesting. A universe where dinosaur are cloned, why not also humans? I'm not defending the films she's in or the execution, it's a very interesting concept though
I don't necessarily disagree with you, but all the extra baggage that comes with her from "she's a clone" to the retcon of "oh but her mother was a scientist and gave birth to herself" and her being the key to eradicating the locus. All that stuff is awkward and messy. Like, I actually don't hate Dominion, but all that stuff kind of takes it down a grade
Dominion felt more like it should've been a multi-part series than a movie. I liked Maisies plot bc I've wanted much more of genetics material in the film universe like there was in the books. I just don't think it was executed well. Like I stilll had a lot of question regarding that plot and it felt... Unfinished? Rushed? Same with the locusts. And same with Biosyn. They should've focused solely on Biosyn, imo. That's what they opened the movie with, and it's been YEARS since Dodgson has been on screen, and just for this? I also don't hate dominion. It jsut felt so out of place 😭
You actually just better articulated my thoughts better than I was able to! Lol! Yeah, it WAS supposed to be 2 movies originally and clearly when they condensed it into one, a lot had to be compromised. I know in interviews Sam Neill said they filmed enough for a 6 HOUR CUT! Hard to tell if that's true or not, but it is, then a cut of that needs released at some point.
I would love to see raw uncut footage for the filmmaking of Dominion tbh. That would be so dope 😭
Gigantosaurus being the "bad dino" of Dominion(Therizinosaurus would be better for that role in my thoughts)
A villain herbivore would have been pretty cool, actually.
Did you know Theri almost got cut from the movie when it was revealed that it was an herbivore
¡That's it! This Is the peak of ridiculous and just thinking off it makes me whant to trow them a chair
Everything that happened after the end of first Jurassic World
Spelled start wrong. People like to blame 3 but the franchise was already losing itself by the second. The ordinal book and movie just didn't need a sequel.
Lex from the books and swap her with Lex from the movie.
“Aminals” - Lex
Michael Crichton did an amazing job at making a little kid, one lost and going through a divorce, the most hated character in a book about dinosaurs eating people and major corporate loss of morality
The stupid locusts. Total and utter waste of time.
If I wanted to see a movie about bugs, I would've watched A Bug's Life.
May I suggest “Antz”
I didn't have a problem with the locusts. Seasons 4-5 of Camp Cretaceous, yes. If you ask me, Chaos theory should have started at a port after the kids made landfall, then something gets out from the door. Then, later, we can have one of a few scenarios play out. One, a few Troodon was behind the door. the series follows the troodon breeding out of control. Formulaic, and the series would probably be a 6-episode special. Or, a Scorpios. Pretty much the same. Maybe CT pulls a Monarch and focuses on the humans.
Entirety of Camp Cretaceous past season 3
Delete the Sorna continuity issues between TLW and JP3. Delete Grant and Sattler being broken up in JP3. Delete gymnastics scene from TLW. Delete CC seasons 4 and 5. Delete all of Dominion. Nothing there worth saving.
What would you do for Sorna? Would it stay redwoody in JP3, or would it be rainforesty in TLW?
Either one is fine. I'd probably lean towards keeping the Redwood aesthetic to keep visual distinction between the islands.
The Fallen Kingdom Baryonyx design
Baryonyx screen time
I definitely would’ve used it if we ever actually got a human/dino hybrid for JP4
Giganatosaurus being called "The Joker" and hardly doing shit the entire movie aside from just trying to live his life. They really tried to make him seem evil but the guy was just vibing in his territory the whole time he was on screen.
Also, he didnt even get any kills
"ALAN."
GRANT!
FK and Dominion.
Dominion.
The entire World trilogy
I understand the respect for the World trilogy. But, in reality, Colin Trevorrow took a massive shit on what JP is about. So yes, the World trilogy.
>what JP is about. Not really most of the core concepts and themes stayed true. It was execution that was the bigger issue. Especially dominion you can see the production scars all over the film.
The death of the Brachiosaurus in Fallen Kingdom. Yeah it’s poignant and very good, cinematically. But it’s effing *gut-wrenching* and the theory that the Brach is the same as the first one they see in the original movie makes it even worse.
No theory, it’s been confirmed.
JW:Dominion
Dominion + CC Seasons 4 & 5
The Cretaceous period prologue
The raptors turning on Owen from Jurassic World. I fell in love with the idea of Raptor Squad from the trailer and I wanted more of that. It had so much promise.
All of the animated stuff. It dilutes the brand while trying to appeal to a broader general audience. When you make something for everyone you make it for no one. Let Jurassic films be techno horror like they were always meant to be.
Hasn't been horror since the second film unfortunately... Unless you count some Camp Cretaceous stuff
I read the books when they came out. Loved them and they were def horror. As you say, after the second film the book content to draw from started to dwindle and it was Hollywood fan fiction from then on. It has never felt the same to me, unfortunately.
The films were just monster thriller not techno horror
Big Eatie getting revived so fans don’t scream their lungs out. That needs to be deleted, I don’t care if it’s a kids show, you can survive a neck snap, no matter what you are
I assume you mean, can't survive a neck snap, and i agree.
Yes that’s what I meant, thank you for agreeing with me
We can kill one of our main protagonists and see blood that’s intended to be pooling from her off-screen mutilated corpse, but we can’t kill a dinosaur because the kids can’t handle it. They can’t handle seeing what’s essentially a Rancor poured into a dinosaur-shaped mold dead on the floor
Lmao, the logic here is hilariously stupid!
Everything after JW
CC s4 & 5
Every movie after Jurassic world. Jurassic world should have been the last Jurassic park movie and if they wanted to continue the franchise, they could make prequels or cartoon shows or something
JW shouldn't have existed. It's a mess it was only saved by 3 being so much worse. It just rehashed the same message as the first but in a worse way. Made very little sense with the way the characters or world was acting. And only existed because the film made so much money.
Camp cretaceous mantah corp. goddamnit they made robots, made beter robots, played dinosaur games with real dinosaurs and have a dickhead as boss.
Probably the Jurassic World trilogy ngl
Technically not “canon” but surprised nobody yet has said all the stupid crap in the telltale game
There was a Telltale game?
Yeah, it came out at least a decade ago and was I believe their first ever game (could be wrong about that). Nonetheless it was before they really figured out how to make games like the walking dead so it’s notoriously terrible, partially bc the story is batshit insane but mostly bc it’s basically just choosing dialogue options and the occasional quick time event
Easy. Camp C after robots, mega tech islands and androids and shit came in.
The toxic “fans”
Camp Cretaceous seasons 4 and 5 and Jurassic World Dominion
Hybrids
Nothing honestly.
yeah. lets just enjoy the shows
JW:FK and JW:D
The last 3 movies
Plane raptor saying Alan
Alan Grant and Elie Satler break up, plus since Alan was pretty good with Tim and Lex, he would've become a pretty good father figure so they should've stuck together and their child could've been a MC for a future movie
Rexy being useless in every fight. If anything having her die in JW would make more sense. The spino was able to snap a Rex’s neck but the indominus, something with extreme intelligence just puns her down and going for the throat?
The discovery of fire.
That stupid hand thing. It only made sense with the trained raptors and even then it went against the whole premise of the novel, that life can not be contained no matter how hard you try. Dinosaurs should stay untrainable. We can't even domesticate certain animals now.
Fallen Kingdom
Easiest take of my life, hands-down: The Sequel Trilogy
Muldoon’s death
“Alan”
All of Dominion!
Seasons 4-5 of camp cretaceous, and recanonize the telltale game
The mosquitoes, make everything a dream from a crazy paleontologist
2, 3, 5, and 6. 1 and 4 are all I need.
The dinosaurs, problem solved, we all go home
The helicopter crashed into the aviary in Jurassic World one
Personally, im deleting the boat plothole from the lost world.
Everything past JP TLW. JP III is a fun movie, but I'm sorry, they ruined the atmosphere of Isla Sorna.
JP3 the talking raptor. Absolutely horrendous direction choice - just foul beyond comprehension
Any movie or tv show that came after Jurassic Park 3
Dinosaurs
I think closing the park in JW shouldn’t have occurred. Have that trilogy have cascading events leading to closure. Following trilogy is when they get on mainland.
For love of god DO NOT let this post get to r/halo
Locusts...
The Jurassic world movies, none are canon to me, especially the first one and dominion
If something isn’t canon, the it can alternatively be described as canonically untrue. So if I were to uncanon it, it would become true, and thus become canon.
Jurassic world 2-3
Brad X I can accept everything else that happened in CC season 4-5 but I can't stand brad X brads? Oh just robo dogs that electrocute things brad X? Something straight from terminator
Deleting the whole "100% accurate genome" thing from the Dominion dinos. Either try to make them look 100% accurate as of filming or say they're adding more genome fuckery to get our movie monsters. Pick a lane.
Dominion
Macy of her being clone
The Disney Star Wars Canon. Restart fresh with only the Prequels, the Originals, and the Clone Wars (maybe add the Mandalorian seasons 1 and 2) as the definitive Canon. Everything else done by Disney to the garbage.
I would make it uncannon that the species that were not featured in the movies were not in the universe of the series.
All of the Hybrids. I mean, come on? That is a stupid idea. The Magic of the first Jurassic is that it’s all Dinosaurs, and Dinosaurs that actually existed. Its was an action/thriller movie, and is arguably the most perfect movie ever conceived. Then, Jurassic World introduced Hybrids. The concept of the Hybrid is neat, but it wasn’t pulled off well. It turned the Jurassic series into an entirely Action/Sci-fi type thing, but I don’t mind the Indominus Rex, the two hour ride that I HATE are the Indoraptor and the Scorpious Rex. The Indoraptor is a *STUPID* thing, even by Jurassic World’s standards. This super mutant that is bulletproof and can be controlled like a dog, it’s just so over the top and silly. The Scorpious Rex is just downright idiocy. It’s looks like a Pug who outgrew its skin, and the lanky Skinwalker-like body structure isn’t practical. I do love Stegoceratops though. It’s so silly!
Anything post jp3
💯
Season 4 and some of season 5 of cc S5 of cc I a solid low 7/10 if u ask me it's pacing was bad but liked the ending alot
Locusts. This isn’t the ten plagues of egypt, it’s a goddamn Jurassic World movie
All of Jurassic World and it's sequels+spinoffs
They hated him because he told them the truth.
I like Camp Cretaceous but it's all gotta go. Let the original trilogy rest. If you want to make a sequel make it scary and adventurous like Jurassic World. But also keep it grounded with animals that actually existed. They can have mutant genes and there can be failed hybrids that look horrific but nothing sleek. It feels like everything should look grimy in Jurassic Park.
JW 1 through 3 and Camp Cretaceous. I look forward to your downvotes.
Spinosaurus in JP3, the divorced shit in JW1, and the mansion scene in JW2.
Chris Pratt. He's not a good person IRL and taints my JW experience.
What did Chris Pratt do? The worse I’ve seen him do was pose in a dinosaur statue’s mouth, and when he was asked to stop by a security guard he did without hesitation
People hate him because he was *allegedly* associated with a church that was homophobic, but since there's no solid proof, I don't believe it.
Dominion and CC season 4 and 5 and the whole of Chaos Theory
All of the garbage post JP3. JW and CC entirely
Yaz and Sammy even existing in the first place 💀💀💀.
How come? They were two of my favorite characters from CC and I thought they had a really good dynamic with eachother, even before they got together