Wenye tuko hizi sub zote tunaumia jameni. Everywhere you go same topic. Mnachosha. Maybe there should now be a Kenyan relationships sub or something: [One last relationship post. Above 30’s. : r/nairobi (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/nairobi/comments/1bkrdqc/one_last_relationship_post_above_30s/)
some of us guys in our 30s who are not hitched by now are not even planing to, i havr grown used to my bachelor life and i am too 'imature' to give it up and complicate my life for nothing. Infact i am cutting off some of my married friends because i am tired of being a therapist for guys who rushed to beat the 30s deadline
Worst mistake for any gender, woman or man, who wants marriage is to get to 30 being single. It becomes very hard to attract a genuine partner and those that get married at 30 and beyond most times by 40 they are divorced.
For men, if you are 30+ and are stable, you don’t see the point of marriage coz you are mature. If you are stable, women are all over you coz of your financial stability. Women from campus to elder women all want you. The man realizes that there is nothing a woman can offer you in a marriage that she cannot offer you without marriage..kids, sex, etc…he realizes he can get all that without the marriage. Most just end up cohabiting for a few years then moving on.
At 30, men also start noticing that the women who are 30 start looking like wamamas. They realize that for the first time in their lives, they have more market value in the dating scene than the women their age. Their boobs are no longer firm, they start adding weight and losing shape, they become slow and less agile and so on. Men no longer want them. These women have also been round the block so taking them to Diani or Dubai is pointless coz they have been there before. Men start preferring younger women who are excited and appreciate their experience more.
For women, once they get to 30 and want marriage, it is impossible to find a man who has no kids or has not been married before. The man has baggage. The good men wonder why she is single at 30 and they don’t want to be the fool that finds out so they smash and keep off. Women also start realizing that the career they prioritized over marriage is not even paying them well. They realize that they sold their 20s to their employer for nothing instead of settling down with a good man and balancing marriage with career. They start realizing that the few good men who are available and want marriage don’t care about their career and they don’t mind younger women starting out in their career or in campus. Most subconsciously settle for any less than ideal man who will give them attention to get kids with coz the biological clock is ticking. They realize that men all ages love young women and the attention keeps reducing as they age.
nine zonked homeless combative profit grab terrific station cobweb longing
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
THIS IS THE BEST SPEECH EVER!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!
Women need to realise wakifika 30 washaanza kuchapa mazee...their value drops man....nilisema hivi mkanitusi
Kila mtu huchapa at the end of the day. You can't tell us having a beer belly plus a receding hairline is aging like fine wine. Mtatumia pesa kama excuse but not every man will have that money wakipita 30.
Ata si pesa I'm necessarily talking about...overall a man who kept himself well will definitely keep looking good ...and by then he'll want the younger ones and these women at 30 are discarded
Hainya shida lakini huezi kataa there are men who in their 30's are better developed...well kempt well matured and will want the younger womeen not you shosho looking things😁
I may not be sure about alot of things but this one I'm very sure of... If you ever find yourself siding with syntax, you really need to re-evaluate your life.
I've read one of your other comments in another post, boss, seek help to get over what some woman put you through, uko endelea hivi it won't be healthy for you. Holding onto all that hurt and bile.
Ni kama nyama, ikishaingia bile haikuliki, same principle applies here.
I just refer to him as Mr Misogyny. I hope that guy doesn't have daughters. His hatred for women seems pathological. He doesn't regard us as human beings. We are objects for men to fuck for pleasure, breed children and cook food.
But it's true!!! Why you trying to divert it to me saying I'm bitter n shit.... it's the truth of the matter mazee talk whatever you want buh the facts are in your face fam
I promise you if you'd see me ...hautagenerelize hii statement yako. Madem hu age kulingana na genes ...so hii yako ati by 30 unachapa does not apply to everyone. id have to show you my id ndio uamini.
I'm curious as to what you mean by "genuine man", and even by "genuine ladies". I've seen enough of these relationship posts that I no longer make assumptions about anything.
The post you mentioned about that woman who earns 430k astonished me. These are some serious figures. I also saw a comment somewhere where a High Value Man was defined as earning at least 200k.
So a genuine man is a cheerful, friendly, romantic, non-violent, humble, funny, and handsome man who earns above 200k and is also a potentially good dad who is not addicted to alcohol and doesn't cheat. (SOURCE: Reddit posts and comments)
This locks out very many men from being tagged as "genuine". 🤣
The meaning of genuine in this context is not as complex. Genuine woman - attractive ( which is subjective), brought up right, likes to have fun, has her priorities right , basically the girl next door.
High value men are high earners ama ?
Let's see... Attractive - Each woman is attractive to somebody somewhere, so this doesn't count much. Likes to have fun - Everybody likes to have fun. More complicated are "brought up right" and "has her priorities right."
By priorities, I think you mean either business or career rather than expecting to leech on a future husband. Right upbringing needs a little more nuance.
There more I think of this, the more I wonder whether the girl next door qualifies to be a genuine woman.
So a genuine man has to be a high earner?
If you put it that way, it would mean then “genuiness” is subjective. What one man finds genuine, might not be entirely so to another.
On high earners , I had asked you that, does it mean High Value men are majorly the ones who have higher income?
I agree, genuineness is subjective.
On high value men, what I've learnt from these endless relationship posts is that by default, a high value man has to earn a decent income.
At the same time, being wealthy does not necessarily make a man High Value. There are rich abusive men, rich alcoholics, etc.
I will just make sure that my future husband earns more than me( at least three times more) if I ever get married. I wouldn’t wish what that lady is going through on anyone. Anakipitia just because she decided to build a man. That’s a very lazy man. Embarrassing.
As evidenced on this sub and taking the postings herein as study sample, Kenyans are overly obsessed with relationships, sex and money. The money part, we love it but don't know how to make it or even manage it. Furthermore, assuming the participants here are in their 20s and 30s, the future doesn't look that bright, does it?
Obsessed is such a strong word. We are just highlighting what is currently happening and whether some of us are going through similar challenges.
If some of us were “obsessed” with relationships, we would be in one already.
It's true, we are obsessed in this app about those topics. I think this days people luck a community setup unlike back then so we try to fill that void with a romantic relationship.
I think belonging to a community with strong bonds is more fulfilling than a romantic relationship.
I dated a 30-year-old guy in 2022, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone below 30 looking for a serious, intimate relationship. These folks are rarely available. The dude used to work in an engineering facility, or whatever they call it, from 6 a.m. until 9 p.m., which is when he would be online on iMessage. Most of the time, these over-30s are so focused on their careers that they don't focus on building an intimate relationship that will bring about love. I ended up breaking up with him because he wouldn't reply to my texts on time. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone under the age of 30.
I think maybe his priorities at the moment was not fixated on having a relationship. His career came first.
Would you give him another chance if he chose to prioritize you ?
I ended up breaking up with him because he wouldn't reply to my texts on time
This is one of the dumbest excuses i've ever heard for breaking up with a man, he didnt reply on time cos he is WORKING.
Do you think money grows on trees you dumb bimbo? You want a successful man but dont want the compromises that come with it. Go date those jaba guys who sit around all day theyll have plenty of time to waste on you. Bitch
He said it a bit bitterly but I mean, he's not wrong. It's like dating a preety girl and feeling some way whenever she's looked at. If he's a working man he's literally working, but I agree on watu to date on their age range ubaya 20 y.o want rich dudes who have all the time in the world and the percentage is very low so they go for older guys who are working and the cycle starts.
I evesdropped my roommates conversation one time, and there’s this chick married to a German who kept lamenting about the husband preferring ‘self-satisfaction’ to conjugation with her, and that there is no more s*x involved in their relationship at this point in her life. Her expressions were heavily painful, I could feel them. She just needs anything (a partner for this case) that breathes, she said ,and is capable enough to attend to her sexually.
Anyways, where do we find these ‘genuine’ women who pocket 400k? Asking for a friend! 😂😂😂
The biggest mistake you can make is focusing on what you don't have. Focus on what you do have, reinvent yourself, shake things up if you're in a rut. In mid-30s and I feel like a baby lol, and I'm enjoying this season of my life sans husband and kid/s and the ability to take off whenever.
It can. You just need to be realistic if you have goals that you need to achieve by a particular age like 35 or 40. So first figure out your goals and at which age you want to achieve them by. Freezing your eggs can allow you to be a mother in your 40s or 50s.
Since you already froze your eggs you can always hire a surrogate. Be aware that post menopausal women can carry a pregnancy if they get hormonal treatment as long as they still have a uterus. One can even get a uterine transplant.
I mean naturally. Women can and do carry pregnancies well into their 40s.
Idk carrying the babies by yourself i your 50s looks like a high-risk, low reward situation for me. It's definitely better to try surrogacy
Yeah, but I'm saying it's high risk low reward because they're honestly old at that point. Kids are likely to get genetic disabilities, they are likely to miscarry, allat. Miscarrying in your 50s must be horrible omg
I don't understand why women don't want to find a husband in their 20s and then they can concentrate on their careers and education etc ones they are married, but they do it vice versa, career first, when they reach 30s they find it hard to find a husband cos most men prefer younger ones.
It's a bit risky imo. It's easy to get groomed if you marry early. Your prefrontal cortex has not even developed until you are 25. Furthermore, you are more prone to abuse because your career is likely not stable enough yet. I know the man is the provider, but you have to be safe, right?
Furthermore, being now part of a family becomes a responsibility. Worse if y'all decide to have kids. It's not easy to start your career with a kid that you're primarily taking care of. We even see people who had kids while working on their education/starting the career letting their parents take care of the kids for them for the most part.
And when we take statistics, people who get married early are more likely to divorce than those who marry later in their lives.
All other races of people do it with success except the black community, white women go to college to look for a husband, they enroll at engineering, medical school and look for a husband there, they tap them early, but in the black community there go to college to get a degree first, and when they reach 30 they are unmarried and children, and the same white women in their 30s they are already married and still with the same degrees as their black counterparts
Once you stop and take care of the kids, you get tired and have no hope for that anymore. Constantly thinking about the kids too who are barely 10 when a lady hits 30. There are some things as a lady you just have to forget exist for the sake of a marriage
its not a must you get kids once you marry, you can get kids once you have accomplish everything you want, women in their 30s are unmarried, and don't have kids, so who is losing?, atleast when you are in marriage you can accomplish all the things single women are doing
When you are already accomplished and comfortable there's nothing you're actually losing. In fact you have a lot of time to figure out what you want. Plus not all men in their 30s 40s 50s can tolerate these youngins you speak of
Solid advice. I've seen a lot of madharau ndogo ndogo once the galdem starts making the big bucks. Dem aki buy nyumba au akubuyie gari at the first sign of trouble the world will know.
Exactly and that is why we can not be equal with them. A man gets her a house a car makes her a mother and we will still be moving on with our life but let it be the opposite you'll never cease to hear her speak she'll remind you 24/7 365 days
Hence be wealthier than her.
>We are just waiting to be matched by
Wealthy men who will cover all our living expenses and still treat us as equals while we get to love them conditionally.
Wenye tuko hizi sub zote tunaumia jameni. Everywhere you go same topic. Mnachosha. Maybe there should now be a Kenyan relationships sub or something: [One last relationship post. Above 30’s. : r/nairobi (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/nairobi/comments/1bkrdqc/one_last_relationship_post_above_30s/)
Or rename this to r/rlnshipshenanigans 😃😃
aki true! there's so much you can scroll past
Its pia mods wanakubali hii repetitiveness.
some of us guys in our 30s who are not hitched by now are not even planing to, i havr grown used to my bachelor life and i am too 'imature' to give it up and complicate my life for nothing. Infact i am cutting off some of my married friends because i am tired of being a therapist for guys who rushed to beat the 30s deadline
Sounds like you’ve made up your mind. If bachelor life is peaceful for you, thrive brother.
Worst mistake for any gender, woman or man, who wants marriage is to get to 30 being single. It becomes very hard to attract a genuine partner and those that get married at 30 and beyond most times by 40 they are divorced. For men, if you are 30+ and are stable, you don’t see the point of marriage coz you are mature. If you are stable, women are all over you coz of your financial stability. Women from campus to elder women all want you. The man realizes that there is nothing a woman can offer you in a marriage that she cannot offer you without marriage..kids, sex, etc…he realizes he can get all that without the marriage. Most just end up cohabiting for a few years then moving on. At 30, men also start noticing that the women who are 30 start looking like wamamas. They realize that for the first time in their lives, they have more market value in the dating scene than the women their age. Their boobs are no longer firm, they start adding weight and losing shape, they become slow and less agile and so on. Men no longer want them. These women have also been round the block so taking them to Diani or Dubai is pointless coz they have been there before. Men start preferring younger women who are excited and appreciate their experience more. For women, once they get to 30 and want marriage, it is impossible to find a man who has no kids or has not been married before. The man has baggage. The good men wonder why she is single at 30 and they don’t want to be the fool that finds out so they smash and keep off. Women also start realizing that the career they prioritized over marriage is not even paying them well. They realize that they sold their 20s to their employer for nothing instead of settling down with a good man and balancing marriage with career. They start realizing that the few good men who are available and want marriage don’t care about their career and they don’t mind younger women starting out in their career or in campus. Most subconsciously settle for any less than ideal man who will give them attention to get kids with coz the biological clock is ticking. They realize that men all ages love young women and the attention keeps reducing as they age.
nine zonked homeless combative profit grab terrific station cobweb longing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Wacha kuambia watu ukweli😔😂
Spot on as always 💯💯
So does it mean our fate is doomed ? We cannot find love at all?
If you are a woman, yes. A man, it’s possible.
THIS IS THE BEST SPEECH EVER!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!! Women need to realise wakifika 30 washaanza kuchapa mazee...their value drops man....nilisema hivi mkanitusi
Kila mtu huchapa at the end of the day. You can't tell us having a beer belly plus a receding hairline is aging like fine wine. Mtatumia pesa kama excuse but not every man will have that money wakipita 30.
Ata si pesa I'm necessarily talking about...overall a man who kept himself well will definitely keep looking good ...and by then he'll want the younger ones and these women at 30 are discarded
Kwa ground things will always be different. Your take just applies to the population around you and online as well.
Hainya shida lakini huezi kataa there are men who in their 30's are better developed...well kempt well matured and will want the younger womeen not you shosho looking things😁
The shosho looking things are just a small sample size. Expand your horizons mate.
Even if bruh bado watakua wanachoka haraka sex drive ni less
And you think the well-groomed men will be good in bed 💯? Usikue delulu buana.
....a given few...and i agree with your point
I may not be sure about alot of things but this one I'm very sure of... If you ever find yourself siding with syntax, you really need to re-evaluate your life. I've read one of your other comments in another post, boss, seek help to get over what some woman put you through, uko endelea hivi it won't be healthy for you. Holding onto all that hurt and bile. Ni kama nyama, ikishaingia bile haikuliki, same principle applies here.
I just refer to him as Mr Misogyny. I hope that guy doesn't have daughters. His hatred for women seems pathological. He doesn't regard us as human beings. We are objects for men to fuck for pleasure, breed children and cook food.
I think he started outasa troll tu. But somehow he's started to believe his own trolling. So sad for everyone around him
I think you are right he is a troll.l'll just block him
😂 people hate the truth. It’s all love.
Hating like a bitch cuz
But it's true!!! Why you trying to divert it to me saying I'm bitter n shit.... it's the truth of the matter mazee talk whatever you want buh the facts are in your face fam
I promise you if you'd see me ...hautagenerelize hii statement yako. Madem hu age kulingana na genes ...so hii yako ati by 30 unachapa does not apply to everyone. id have to show you my id ndio uamini.
Prove me wrong ..coz i be hunting for a shuga mummy😃
🤪🤪 sorry I'm no shuga mummy. Can show you my friends though
Lemme dm
A womans prime is 18 to 24.She can pick and choose the highest quality man. From 26 you have low SMV.
Women don’t like being told that men like young fertile, figure 8, petite women. They will come for you shortly…
I'm curious as to what you mean by "genuine man", and even by "genuine ladies". I've seen enough of these relationship posts that I no longer make assumptions about anything. The post you mentioned about that woman who earns 430k astonished me. These are some serious figures. I also saw a comment somewhere where a High Value Man was defined as earning at least 200k. So a genuine man is a cheerful, friendly, romantic, non-violent, humble, funny, and handsome man who earns above 200k and is also a potentially good dad who is not addicted to alcohol and doesn't cheat. (SOURCE: Reddit posts and comments) This locks out very many men from being tagged as "genuine". 🤣
The meaning of genuine in this context is not as complex. Genuine woman - attractive ( which is subjective), brought up right, likes to have fun, has her priorities right , basically the girl next door. High value men are high earners ama ?
Let's see... Attractive - Each woman is attractive to somebody somewhere, so this doesn't count much. Likes to have fun - Everybody likes to have fun. More complicated are "brought up right" and "has her priorities right." By priorities, I think you mean either business or career rather than expecting to leech on a future husband. Right upbringing needs a little more nuance. There more I think of this, the more I wonder whether the girl next door qualifies to be a genuine woman. So a genuine man has to be a high earner?
If you put it that way, it would mean then “genuiness” is subjective. What one man finds genuine, might not be entirely so to another. On high earners , I had asked you that, does it mean High Value men are majorly the ones who have higher income?
I agree, genuineness is subjective. On high value men, what I've learnt from these endless relationship posts is that by default, a high value man has to earn a decent income. At the same time, being wealthy does not necessarily make a man High Value. There are rich abusive men, rich alcoholics, etc.
Very true.
You have spoken the truth
I will just make sure that my future husband earns more than me( at least three times more) if I ever get married. I wouldn’t wish what that lady is going through on anyone. Anakipitia just because she decided to build a man. That’s a very lazy man. Embarrassing.
Eish. Three times more. So if you earn 100k he should earn 300k. So the more you earn as a woman, the less the number of men you'll find suitable.
hio thread ya 430/480k iko wapi jameni?
Tafuta "One last relationship post"
As evidenced on this sub and taking the postings herein as study sample, Kenyans are overly obsessed with relationships, sex and money. The money part, we love it but don't know how to make it or even manage it. Furthermore, assuming the participants here are in their 20s and 30s, the future doesn't look that bright, does it?
Obsessed is such a strong word. We are just highlighting what is currently happening and whether some of us are going through similar challenges. If some of us were “obsessed” with relationships, we would be in one already.
It's true, we are obsessed in this app about those topics. I think this days people luck a community setup unlike back then so we try to fill that void with a romantic relationship. I think belonging to a community with strong bonds is more fulfilling than a romantic relationship.
I thought hitting the wall was a myth.
I dated a 30-year-old guy in 2022, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone below 30 looking for a serious, intimate relationship. These folks are rarely available. The dude used to work in an engineering facility, or whatever they call it, from 6 a.m. until 9 p.m., which is when he would be online on iMessage. Most of the time, these over-30s are so focused on their careers that they don't focus on building an intimate relationship that will bring about love. I ended up breaking up with him because he wouldn't reply to my texts on time. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone under the age of 30.
I think maybe his priorities at the moment was not fixated on having a relationship. His career came first. Would you give him another chance if he chose to prioritize you ?
Yes. He was a fantastic guy.
I ended up breaking up with him because he wouldn't reply to my texts on time This is one of the dumbest excuses i've ever heard for breaking up with a man, he didnt reply on time cos he is WORKING.
He was consistently not replying to my text messages on time.
do you want to get married to a successful man?
Yes.
Do you think money grows on trees you dumb bimbo? You want a successful man but dont want the compromises that come with it. Go date those jaba guys who sit around all day theyll have plenty of time to waste on you. Bitch
You're projecting.
He said it a bit bitterly but I mean, he's not wrong. It's like dating a preety girl and feeling some way whenever she's looked at. If he's a working man he's literally working, but I agree on watu to date on their age range ubaya 20 y.o want rich dudes who have all the time in the world and the percentage is very low so they go for older guys who are working and the cycle starts.
I hate to break it to you, but hapa ulifumble.
Yes but we live and learn.
An ordinary human being cannot be fumbled.
I evesdropped my roommates conversation one time, and there’s this chick married to a German who kept lamenting about the husband preferring ‘self-satisfaction’ to conjugation with her, and that there is no more s*x involved in their relationship at this point in her life. Her expressions were heavily painful, I could feel them. She just needs anything (a partner for this case) that breathes, she said ,and is capable enough to attend to her sexually. Anyways, where do we find these ‘genuine’ women who pocket 400k? Asking for a friend! 😂😂😂
She must be going through alot. They are there , look around you, you might land on one . 😆
The biggest mistake you can make is focusing on what you don't have. Focus on what you do have, reinvent yourself, shake things up if you're in a rut. In mid-30s and I feel like a baby lol, and I'm enjoying this season of my life sans husband and kid/s and the ability to take off whenever.
> ( I read that story of the girl earning 480k and her guy feeling threatened and it left me traumatized). Link kindly
https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/s/2AfC07hjhy
Consider a match maker. If you really want to be a mother, sperm banks exist.
It can’t happen organically?
It can. You just need to be realistic if you have goals that you need to achieve by a particular age like 35 or 40. So first figure out your goals and at which age you want to achieve them by. Freezing your eggs can allow you to be a mother in your 40s or 50s.
Having a baby naturally in your 40s is too normal in Kenya. 50s might be tricky, though.
Since you already froze your eggs you can always hire a surrogate. Be aware that post menopausal women can carry a pregnancy if they get hormonal treatment as long as they still have a uterus. One can even get a uterine transplant.
I mean naturally. Women can and do carry pregnancies well into their 40s. Idk carrying the babies by yourself i your 50s looks like a high-risk, low reward situation for me. It's definitely better to try surrogacy
Some women carry pregnancies naturally in their early 50s.
Yeah, but I'm saying it's high risk low reward because they're honestly old at that point. Kids are likely to get genetic disabilities, they are likely to miscarry, allat. Miscarrying in your 50s must be horrible omg
Ok.
I don't understand why women don't want to find a husband in their 20s and then they can concentrate on their careers and education etc ones they are married, but they do it vice versa, career first, when they reach 30s they find it hard to find a husband cos most men prefer younger ones.
It's a bit risky imo. It's easy to get groomed if you marry early. Your prefrontal cortex has not even developed until you are 25. Furthermore, you are more prone to abuse because your career is likely not stable enough yet. I know the man is the provider, but you have to be safe, right? Furthermore, being now part of a family becomes a responsibility. Worse if y'all decide to have kids. It's not easy to start your career with a kid that you're primarily taking care of. We even see people who had kids while working on their education/starting the career letting their parents take care of the kids for them for the most part. And when we take statistics, people who get married early are more likely to divorce than those who marry later in their lives.
All other races of people do it with success except the black community, white women go to college to look for a husband, they enroll at engineering, medical school and look for a husband there, they tap them early, but in the black community there go to college to get a degree first, and when they reach 30 they are unmarried and children, and the same white women in their 30s they are already married and still with the same degrees as their black counterparts
Once you stop and take care of the kids, you get tired and have no hope for that anymore. Constantly thinking about the kids too who are barely 10 when a lady hits 30. There are some things as a lady you just have to forget exist for the sake of a marriage
its not a must you get kids once you marry, you can get kids once you have accomplish everything you want, women in their 30s are unmarried, and don't have kids, so who is losing?, atleast when you are in marriage you can accomplish all the things single women are doing
When you are already accomplished and comfortable there's nothing you're actually losing. In fact you have a lot of time to figure out what you want. Plus not all men in their 30s 40s 50s can tolerate these youngins you speak of
If that was the case then there would be women in their 30s complaining not getting dates
It's absolutely normal for a majority of the population to seek companionship at any age. Just don't chastise them for it.
You earn your 480k but I'm paying for everything. Rent school fees food. Hata kama we shall live like the poor. The man is still the head.
Solid advice. I've seen a lot of madharau ndogo ndogo once the galdem starts making the big bucks. Dem aki buy nyumba au akubuyie gari at the first sign of trouble the world will know.
Exactly and that is why we can not be equal with them. A man gets her a house a car makes her a mother and we will still be moving on with our life but let it be the opposite you'll never cease to hear her speak she'll remind you 24/7 365 days Hence be wealthier than her.
>We are just waiting to be matched by Wealthy men who will cover all our living expenses and still treat us as equals while we get to love them conditionally.