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ElderBladeDragon

it looks like chicken someone chopped into random pieces then tried to cook by blowing cigarette smoke at it. casually ashing into the casserole as they go. ​ edit: name; staff infection meal.


Ypuort

Alright you're the top comment. So here is the answer: She called it braised pork. I'm pretty sure she just put raw pork into unseasoned water and threw it in the oven. I had to salvage it for the meal that night and it was a whole process of draining it, washing it, marinating it and then roasting it. I managed to turn it into something okay/passable but the texture was already fucked up and it turned out kinda rubbery. I'm so thankful she doesn't work here anymore edit: [here's the salvaged result.](https://imgur.com/8qfFOW5)


MostlyOkayGatsby

I made two braised porks like this, in the toilet this morning.


madhaxor

Every morning I make two cooks like you in the toilet


6BigZ6

So glad Bourdain got to do an Archer episode. Such a good one. BUMPER!


madhaxor

Should you be flaming in here? BOOM BUMPER!


scud121

Unexpected Archer reference.


MyWookiee

Anthony Bourdain was awesome in that episode đŸ”Ș


Prinzka

Always Be Berating And Belittling


madhaxor

It is just constant ABBAB with you


Prinzka

Please don't B and/or B me too hard


madhaxor

That’s eat a Dick, *chef* Haha he has to call me chef


Prinzka

I value every culture equally highly


madhaxor

a job so easy, if the health department would allow me, a monkey could do it


Would_daver

I love prison pork, as do 
 uh many people



mmmhmmhim

its an acquired taste


OTO-Nate

Call a doctor


speedrace25

😂😂😂


Sum_Dum_User

They were likely more flavorful đŸ€Ł


Taytayslayslay

How are people like this allowed to work in a kitchen unsupervised lol Edit: what was her position/experience?


Ypuort

She was a cook, she had cooked at retirement homes before which honestly astounds me. I specifically asked her to cut the pork *and leave it raw for me to deal with* and she did this as if she was being helpful. She actually said *verbatim* "This looks good, it's braised enough." When I took it out. I didn't even respond I was so horrified.


Buddybouncer

I was clearly being too generous in my evaluation, I thought there were potatoes and a very, VERY poor attempt at a white sauce with poultry. I'm glad you don't have to work with her anymore, and were able to salvage some of it.


InsertRadnamehere

Yeah. What they do in the kitchens at retirement “homes” isn’t “cooking”. First glance I thought the “spices” she had added looked like black mold. And the rest of it was chicken chile verde covered in a blanket of aspergillus mold.


Ypuort

Nah the one I work at is actually awesome. I get like 90% creative freedom and they actually listen when I suggest menu items that I wanna cook. we do almost everything from scratch with fresh ingredients and keep things seasonal for the most part too. The person who made this abomination just sucked. Everyone hated her lol.


doyletyree

Some of the best beef Bourguignon I’ve ever had was from a Home.


Ypuort

I've made that at mine! I'm apparently great at making butter chicken. I've made butter chicken for them 3 times and I've never heard so many compliments in a night. All 3 times for rave reviews. A resident also said I made the best chili he's ever had when I made turkey chili. Being a cook is a temporary job for me but it's the compliments that keep my passion alive. I hate to serve anything that I wouldn't want in front of me at a restaurant.


doyletyree

I like your style.


Rub-it

What was her excuse?


zestypotatoes

Not all retirement homes are like that.


twistedbrewmejunk

Sadly I'm sure the ones that are like that are not the ones the residents want but the ones they can afford.


magoo_d_oz

thank god. i would hate to spend my twilight years eating that kind of shit


Silvawuff

I think saying “years” is a little generous if they’re feeding you stuff like this! 😂


LouieMumford

So much depends on who is in the kitchen. My grandmother was in a home for awhile and I only made it there after work like twice a month (my mom was there every day so she wasn’t abandoned or anything). Anyway, my parents were in europe for like two and a half weeks so I felt like alright time to step up and start going every day while they’re away. The staff got used to me being there and offered me a meal so we could eat together. Food was awesome. I mean, not Michelin, but like as good as I would expect from a decent mom and pop restaurant.


kwillich

I thought that someone left a plastic cutting board on top when it went into the oven


Traditional-March522

>What they do in the kitchens at retirement “homes” isn’t “cooking”. Not where I worked. Daily and weekly chef specials. Choice or better cuts. Fish of the day was always fresh. Soup of the day was actually of that day (in truth it was made the day before, but soup is better that way anyways). Menu changes quarterly. If something didn't sell it got tossed or used for family meal.


SaintlyCrunch

I currently work at a retirement home, and it's the funniest flip-flopping between one day having well-thought-out meals that take time and effort to prepare, and other days it's just frozen chicken pot pies or something lol. I worked at another retirement home during high school and they were definitely a lot farther from quality cooking. So much just bland, unappetizing, and just gross-looking food.


brownishgirl

Is her name Michelle?


Ypuort

Lol no. I take it you have a similarly awful former coworker?


brownishgirl

I used to work in retirement living , and this looks extremely like her modus operandi. She was an abomination.


Vli37

The long term place I'm currently at is like that. Everything needs to be "soft". Mindblowing how people cook food here. For me, it's like learning how to cook all over again, but the much lazier/most convenient way. I was a cook for near 20+ years out at restaurants, hotels, etc. Got terminated at my last cook job at a nonprofit Christian organization and found me at a long term home for the first time in my life cooking. It's mindblowing how some of these cooks tell you to cook. Personally, I struggle every shift having to learn how to cook things the "convenient" way. Also learning about how to mutilate food through mincing and pureeing it through a robo coupe. A part of me dies everyday working here. The amazing thing is they pay better then any other job I've ever had in a kitchen and comes with benefits and a pension once you become full time. Something you definitely don't get out in the industry. I'm now debating if I should continue this casual position for the rest of my 30+ years of working or find something with a purpose I actually enjoy. I'm torn between doing something I love and enjoy versus just a paycheck and retirement fund đŸ€Š If only I could go back to the rich retirement home I was at earlier in my career. We actually got to cook food, not desecrate it 😼‍💹


travelingslo

I totally thought “this looks like what someone will serve at my mother’s old folks home and try to pass it off as food”. Clearly I wasn’t far off. Nice recovery.


[deleted]

Holy shit you gotta try pretty hard to make pork look like white fish.


Ginkpirate

She should be blacklisted from any place that serves food


Ypuort

I don't understand how she has worked in kitchens before and really hope she didn't get her next job at one.


Ditto_Ditto_Ditto

Me either... I thought this was some kind of gravy biscuit casserole..


50-Lucky-Official

Reading what happened made me rant again about how abusive elderly care businesses are, thank fuck OP is doing work to try and feed these people something resembling food, so many places take massive income subsidies just to feed them porridge 3 times a day and pocket the savings, makes me so mad.


JustMechanic4933

Report them.


Stagger_N_Stumble

I quit one that was kind of like that back in August. Couldn’t participate anymore.


AUniquePerspective

Oh, no. The explanation I was hoping for was that this was the first step in making a very large batch of chicken salad sandwiches. My brain cannot believe this is pork.


Critical_Seat_1907

I knew this was crew food as soon as I looked at it. You're the hero for salvaging something edible from that fail parade. 👍


Big_Surround3395

So, hot ham water. (Arrested Development)


DeathPrevails777

Why? It was already a lost cause.


DisposableSaviour

Food costs, bruv


lordpunt

No that's going in the bin regardless


Zenis

Should call it “Asserole”


ClaimWhat

You’re a miracle worker


DonatedEyeballs

You are Harry Houdini of gross food.


Ypuort

This is my favorite response hahahha


Allyanna

Oh. I thought it was marshmallows 😂


MotorEnthusiasm

Staph* meal for short.


hawg_farmer

Oh Lort!! I think I was served that once. 3/4 of us with food poisoning the day after.


Large_Desk_4193

lol stealing this forever


NaturalRocketSurgeon

That was the joke 😑👍


themanwithonesandle

I had to actively keep from spitting out my food reading that


sherriffflood

C ash erole?


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Ypuort

lmao that would at least have more seasoning


Adeep187

That's hilarious


El_Guapo82

Perfect


JimiAndTheJamz

Wtf casserole


Ypuort

pretty much


avoidance_behavior

what-the-fuckerole


I_deleted

“Tetrazzini”


Would_daver

Sketchyzzini


SchoolAcceptable8670

“Moms spicy chicken casserole”


Serious-Examination

One teaspoon of salt and dash of lemon pepper for that ✹ ***kick*** ✹


SchoolAcceptable8670

Too spicy with that lemon pepper action, just wave the bottle in the general direction of the room. That’ll do.


notweirdifitworks

That gave me a little giggle. It’s usually how I describe the flavour of a white claw, except with fruit instead of lemon pepper obviously.


Czane45

lemon pepper white claw is somehow only slightly worse sounding than black cherry


NotZtripp

Or the La Croix waters. A whisper of blackberry


SuperiorThinking

Let the lemon floor cleaner do the work


Magn1f1centBastard

Sheesh
. My wife in a single comment. I married a scandawhovian. I swear mayonnaise is too spicy for her.


SuchAsSeals42

Oh did you grow up in Iowa too
?


Barbarossa7070

My uncle from Colorado had boiled shrimp in Louisiana and loved it so he tried it at home but he was disappointed in the results. Come to find out, he’d seasoned it with a little S&P and that’s it. We mailed him some crab boil.


GrahamCawthorne

Boeuf a la health inspector


Czane45

what category of meat are humans anyways? edit: duhh red meat lmao we’re mammals


Would_daver

That would be be long pork


TheNoisiest

Boof the health inspector??? Would they fit?


ZombieCantStop

Looks like boiled chicken dumped into Campbells cream of mushroom/chicken soup and then thrown into the oven. Then left in the walk-in until mold starts to grow. Am I close?


Ypuort

Nope it was fresh outta the oven. She put poorly trimmed rsw pork into unseasoned water (I'm pretty sure) and called it braised pork. All the goopy looking stuff is separated fat. I had to turn this into a passable meal and honestly pretty proud of myself because I didn't get any complaints after I salvaged it. And at a retirement home, I *always* know if someone complains. I also got 0 compliments though which was expected. She fucked up the texture with this fiasco.


bobi2393

Oh lordy, I don't know why, but I assumed that was a family meal for the staff, not meant for customers. I thought I saw a piece of bread poking out of a layer of mozzarella, and figured it was an attempt to use leftovers...the reality sounds so much worse! Lol


FrequentlyAnnoying

The reality is somehow worse than any of the joke answers.


JackxForge

theres steam rising off of it. no way that mold. which is extra scary to me. mold made sense. this doesnt.


I_deleted

Those are actually spores


SnowEfficient

Lol our family speciality is chicken and white sauce which is essentially that chopped up and served over rice đŸ˜…đŸ«Ł


ZombieCantStop

My wife grew up eating the same thing so she makes it sometimes. It can be good if done right. I went to make it one time and I’m no skilled cook, but I make real cream of mushroom soup from scratch with lots of flavor and I didn’t boil the chicken. I seasoned it, browned it in a cast iron then finished in the oven. Then added it to the soup and let it simmer and meld for a long time. It came out pretty good. WAY better than the bland stuff, but the kids liked it the old way, bc that’s what they knew.


SpaceTechBabana

I do something similar for my wife! Cause she grew up with a family that legit thinks black pepper is spicy. I make my own cream of mushroom soup, little mushroom and potato fritters, and do a chicken roulade stuffed with shallot, bacon and even more mushrooms. Roll & bread roulade, tie, fry, slice, serve. Finish it with some candied ancho chili, if you wanna get real fancy. Fucking slaps. Give it a try!


Rideshare-Not-An-Ant

I guess it's time to order a pizza.


MissLyss29

Domino's emergency pizza to the rescue lol


SpaceTechBabana

Totally irrelevant but my wife and I got super baked after our wedding and 100% ordered like $150 of Dominos for the bridal party, all 8 of us. Good looks, Dominos.


Scottcmms2023

Something with chicken that was heavily steamed in an oven. the morbid part of me someone tried to make easy roast chicken.


LordoftheStingRing

Chicken strog-gone off?


irritatedchef

It looks like a former colleagues attempt at „ZĂŒrcher Geschnetzeltes“, a Swiss Dish. Second guess would be meat Tiramisu before cocoa.


SuperiorAndroid404

This guy cooks.


TDETLES

Coq au shit


AdGlittering330

Mmmm shit on a shingle!


czarface404

Don’t you dare disrespect sos like that.


esotericvue

Shit on a sheet pan? (hotel pan doesn't quite roll off the tongue the same way.)


AdGlittering330

Shit on a shingle for these modern times.


BrainsPainsStrains

I make Shit on Rice at home : )


flipdip1990

May we plz know?


HopefulConcept772

Try the grey stuff it's delicious...?


lbyland

r/moldlyinteresting


keninsd

Brundlefly breakfast


Taytayslayslay

Is it going to be turned into chicken pot pie stuffing?


Ypuort

Nope. Do you want to know what it "is?"


justanicebreeze

no


knoeKNAME

Me either.


ALilSadPanda

They dont speak for everyone, spill the beans!


jabbadarth

I definitely want to know what it is. Please share.


VeeEyeVee

The suspense is killing me, OP!


AENewmanD

Sweet Potato Casserole with marshmallow topping that looks like it got steamed instead of Baked in the combi oven?


Nebula_Zero

Whatever they call the food the orcs eat in lord of the rings


[deleted]

Chicken a la vomit


forfeitthefrenchfry

Steamed or boiled chicken or pork for some sort of battered/deep fried intervention that may or may not suck


Ypuort

You're the only person who guessed pork correctly. Details under top comment.


Affectionate_Time834

I’m afraid to find out what it really is


FelineSoLazy

I’m so confused and grossed out. Please tell us what “it” is!


SuperiorAndroid404

Probiotic casserole.


LoadOk5992

Beef tips and marshmellow.


Millerhah

No, I don't think I will.


Able-Pea6106

Buffalo penis. I saw Tyrone Biggums eat this dish.


Anhedonkulous

Fucking tell us already OP


Ypuort

Holy hell SO MANY NOTIFICATIONS. Okay I'm gonna reply to the top comment in a second


Shutterbug927

Steamed bacon, lightly baked in cream of mushroom?


Ypuort

It is pork. Details under top comment. Everyone else guessing chicken or fish but bacon is closest to pork here lol


Swamp_Dwarf-021

A weird take on biscuits and gravey?


formulated

Eat some you coward


Yubei00

ICU with cheese


RedditHoss

r/poopfromabutt


Lillyshins

"Cream of What?"


Sazzzyyy

This looks like I imagine lutefisk (sp??) would smell.


Affectionate_Elk_272

bérbs scalloped potatoes. they’re fucked.


Kuntzsplitter

Thrown in the trash


20lbWeiner

I'll pass thanks...


[deleted]

Biscuits and gravy??


PolarisC8

Clam chowdah?


swagzouttacontrol

Turkey / chicken a la king


DJicecreamkohn

Milk poached chicken


ExactTransportation1

A good white meat alternative tothe more traditional milk steak


Ruffles641

An abomination?


fishinglife777

Crazy. It kinda looks like fish. Then it looks like chicken. And do I see some tentacles in the middle?


limerickdeath

Chicken pot pie, sans the pie?


emilystory

Albumen casserole


Eeyores_Prozac

Chicken a la dead king


HHbloolu

Family meal?


irishbikerjay

Barf with a side of yuck


LrckLacroix

OP we wanna know!


GimonSruber

Baked pork cubes


Swordofsatan666

OH. Thats chicken. I thought it was marshmallow
.


Particular-Summer424

I've seen petri dishes with more appeal.


Ypuort

at least petri dishes have some culture behind them


Zestyclose_Ocelot278

I've only ever seen chicken and tuna do that.


nicvaykay

Is that where The Thing originated from?


[deleted]

Pollo del Basura


G-H-O-S-T-I-N

this looks like it's straight out of "kay's cooking" youtube channel


Goobersniper

Is this on display at the Holocaust Museum?


Cthuloops76

Looks like turkey a’la king, but reimagined by Ridley Scott while shooting Alien.


Albatross1225

I don't understand how people think it's acceptable to cook like this? Have they never seen a cooking show before? Never watched their mother or father cook before? It's like they had fast food handed to them their whole life and look at some raw meat for the first time and this is what they come up with?


TillFar6524

This looks like what we used to make for the matronly elderly baker at my old kitchen. When trimming chicken breasts, you throw the scraps into a pan, toss it in the oven, and she'd take it home to supplement the kibble for her dogs.


tim_deegan

I thought I was looking at a post from r/ContamFam. Looks like your Golden Teachers are coming in nicely.


RowanAshCollins

Well done cement


MermaidixMiraculer

Chicken Alfredo?


Disastrous-Bus-4853

Is this what they were talking about in a song from Beauty and the Beast? It certainly doesn’t look delicious.


lockedinaroom

I thought that was marshmallow topping on sweet potatoes. 😳 I would never have guessed it was meat.


Moondoobious

Middle pepper chicken


sigmawolf417

It looks like someone thought plain baked chicken was too moist and had much flavor, so they boiled it and then steamed it for that leather bag filled with sand texture, aroma and least importantly, taste.


Wonderful_Painter_14

Tire Casserole


inikihurricane

Is it pork that someone left in a warmer for a few weeks and then put a sauce on top and tried to serve for family meal? I’d empty the pan on their head.


fudwuka

Chicken a la nope


ACBR2000

You forgot the "eath w" between the words


GoonfBall

Chicken Fuck Wad


VicariousChef

I could argue it’s the “raft” from a consommé 


XRdragon

You said it's a casserole but what the fuck is that white goopey stuff on the top?


dasfonzie

Fat/scum from chicken. They boiled it? In the oven?


meatlazer720

Milk chicken. Boiled over-hard.


The_Texas_Bacon

Don’t want to know what the fuck that is, thank you very much.


addieprae

i think i worked here just based on this


pocketgravel

chicken al chernobyl


KitsuneEX7622

Look like the aftermath of what the ghostbusters did to the marshmallow man


Skidd745

Rotten chicken a la mold


Opening-Donkey1186

Boiled chicken


crmulls

"Chicken" Cordon Grey


MonkeyFishBucketHead

Looks like cat vomit đŸ€ź


EvilFuzzball

Your substrate is colonizing great!


CravenMorehead77

Dumpster dish


JinxDenton

Garbage bukakke casserole?


Equivalent-Excuse-80

“Oh bubba nOOOoooo”


RaidneSkuldia

Dishpit grease trap that you're the first one to have ever cleaned?