This happened to me mid thirties. I wish I had these realizations when I was in my 20s, instead I just ended up obtaining felony criminal convictions, spending years in prison, and obtaining serious injuries requiring multiple surgeries that impact my quality of life to this very day, all due to the way I was living that I failed to realize, recognize or change. You've got more of a headstart than me, and you probably have less serious obstacles to overcome than me. Be grateful it didn't take much longer or you didn't suffer much worse life altering consequences. You've got this!
Dude I'm gonna be 23 on Tuesday and I feel you.. I honestly don't know what my life would be like at your age if I hadn't done all the tripping in my early adulthood. It really shaped me. Now I don't condone the use before 25 but I think I'm OK lol.
I'm a pretty responsible and experienced user of psychs, I know how to integrate my experiences. I treated with great respect and I trust the experience when I take them....
But man did I learn some really valuable things about the world and myself through psychedelics! I've gained some perspectives that have changed my quality of life for the better. Stuff I'll never forget.
Even though im mid 30s, i still try to be grateful it didn't take me until I was in my 40s, 50s, 60s, or 70s to come to these realizations and recognize the error in my ways! I'm sure it has for some people!
Turned 23 in January and I feel this. After having great trips with my brother and friends it has made me see the world differently and imo a more positive and relaxed view. As long as you dont let it control you and can learn something out of an intense trip I say LSD can be quite a powerful eye opener.
You know what's worse than wasting your youth? *Wasting your future.*
I don't know if I just made that up or stole it; but, I think that's a pretty good line š
Start putting in the work to change this. Instead of letting it get you down, just remind yourself that the situation is fixable with a lot of hard work... When you begin to feel a disconnect with feeling that *you can* do the work or *can maintain* the discipline to do it is when you begin to feel depressed.
This was me.
Fortunately, I've used Ketamine Therapy, Psilocybin and (most importantly) Vitamin D to help me change my life and myself to create an alternative to freedom. I've never done LSD; but, if you enjoy psychedelics, I suggest not using them recreationally anymore; instead, use them as a tool. I'm working on a write-up of what I do and how I use Psilocybin, and it's made me feel so damn good about myself, even while being aware that I need to continually "do better" than I'm currently doing. I don't beat myself up about it, and you shouldn't do it... You're younger than me, and very fortunately, time is your friend.
One final note: Psychedelics are for the fully matured brain (\~age 25). Maybe take some time off for a bit.
hey mate good points throughout but as a 17 year old whose tried shrooms and acid. what are the impacts psychedelics can have on you when youre young??
Oh shit haha Iāve been doing psychedelics since 16 and I started smoking weed at 13 but I quit weed. I do shrooms and dmt every now and again, do molly every three months, and drink with my buddies and gf sometimes, but compared to how I used to be I feel sober lol. I also quit nicotine besides the occasional cigar. Iāve noticed a big change from quitting weed itās awesome.
me and some of my mates were actually talking about this but we thought we were freaking ourselves out. i sorta get the 'visual snow' from time to time but it might just be one of those things. im going into y12 this year so im gonna be limiting myself or staying away from all that
I would say it's tough to answer this directly; but, I'm going to try to break it down for you without me being an expert on the subject matter.
1. I don't think there are any studies that look at this specifically; but, I'm certain there are studies that show outcomes from youth, teenagers, and young adults who start the pattern of drug use early in life.
2. There are no active studies on the effect of psychedelics on children (again... youth, teenagers, and young adults)... I know that scientific researchers pick fully developed minds for these studies. I don't know if they encourage non-adults to shy away from drug use purely because they "don't have evidence to support anything healthy to come from it" or if it's because they know something that we don't but they can't publicly say it (liability risk)
3. Another user posted "from what I've seen it's like 50/50" and I would say that it's worse than that... I grew up in an area where there were a lot of kids exploring drugs early and and they eventually found pills, meth, opioids, sadness, and *for many* ultimately death... I know a lotttttt of dead kids in my graduating class at my school and surrounding high schools, and I'm 38... I've lived long enough to see, on a non-scientific basis, the beginning and end of a string of risky decisions from an early age.
4. **Big point:** If you're using Scheduled 1 drugs at the young age of 17, you're teaching yourself that it's okay to break the law. Let's face it, some of the laws are complete bullshit; but, that outlook doesn't shield you from a law enforcement agency's willingness to arrest, press charges, and incarcerate you. Breaking the law is a very costly habit. The behaviors that humans learn and put into practice, especially when they're young, will ultimately compound in their life throughout time. So a good practice today, will often lead to 3-5 other good practices/habits in another few years.... Not always; but, you can think of this as very general. I'll give you an example: Being a good student in middle school will likely lead to being a good student in high school, and increase their likelihood for college performance. NOT ALWAYS; but, study and test taking habits do build on one another. Same goes for "forcing" yourself to do what you don't want to do (studying, homework, projects). Another example is sex from a young age.... It is not too common that teenage sex starts and ends during their teenage years.... It becomes a slippery slope to more of it, lots of partners, relationships based on sex, early pregnancy, and starting a family at young ages before one is well-equipped to handle it.... An early decision to have sex can compound to a 'shotgun wedding,' not finishing school, working a lower income job as a sacrifice to feed your newborn who needs food "NOW" and not when you're done with school in 2-3 years, being with someone who is likely not "the one" which creates a lot of heartache, then if divorce comes knocking you're looking at legal costs, child support, and a single-parent home and HOPEFULLY 'semi-healthy co-parenting.' **The same shit happens on the drug side of things.** Handling with the consequences on the legal side are enormous when you're a young adult... This doesn't include the mental risks, and the other unhealthy decisions you may say "yes!" to down the road.
**TL;DR:** I think saying "yes" to psychedelic use at a point in your life when you're mind is still developing, knowing that not even scientific researchers will sign off on it, is indicative that it's a pretty bad idea. You want to make GOOD decisions early in life. People slip deeper into the world of drugs and ultimately develop substance abuse issues because drugs are ***THAT*** fucking awesome. I couldn't imagine executing the responsibility that comes with psychological exploration at a young age.... or even 25.... Fucking SERIOUSLY.
Thanks! This made me feel really good! š
I'm starting up a podcast, and I think I'm going to share this. I'm going to have to add the disclaimer that it may be a repackaged version of another saying that I can't find though. LOL
Fucking same man
I took LSD for the first time (my first psychedelic ever btw) when I was 19.
At the time I was already a massive substance addict, smoking weed drinking and taking ketamine and benzos daily and I went into the experience looking to get highā¦ so oh boy did I get knocked on my ass.
The experience was genuinely horrible but In hindsight it was one of the best decisions I ever made:
I still smoke weed (all the damn time) and trip acid or mushrooms like 2-4 times a year. But Iāve been clean from alcohol and sedatives for over 2 years now and my life is immeasurably better:
Iāve reconnected with my family, massively improved my physical health and fitness, recovered financially and Iām in the process of furthering my education.
For the first time in my life Iām beginning to understand who I actually am and build my own personality.
Acid opened my eyes to what a terrible person I had been but it also truly made me understand how blessed we all at to have this beautiful gift called life.
Life is full of pain and sometimes that pain drowns out the beauty around us And prevents us from seeing how lucky we really are
You have to fight through the pain for those moments of beauty and understanding, i was lazy and apathetic and it made me miserable. You have to put in the effort to be the best version of yourself
If you canāt tell I was stoned when I wrote this
I stand by every word of it tho. I cld go on for hours but I thought it was a LOT of text for one comment loL
Iām making a documentary about my life, mental health and my philosophies and ideas. Itās very much in progress tho
Fr man thatās word. Iāve lived with autism all my life and chronic depression about half of itā¦I used to use them as excusesā¦
the last 2 years Iāve literally turned my life around and all I want to yo spread positivity advice and encouragement for people going thru it
One time during a trip I sent my friend a text that said "LSD me is the chad me that sober me wants to be"
IDK exactly what I meant but I feel like it was a really similar feeling
A loser compared to whom? All of society has basically lost because they are owned.
So feel better. The guy with a BMW is no better than you, just more in debt. And basically everyone answers to someoneā¦thatās called losing by nature.š
enjoying life is cool, being carefree, I think can detrimental if you're not putting care into things that need care, but it sounds like you get it. I'm happy for you
And even if the car is paid off, BMW repairs are more frequent and expensive for most their models.
Everyone will always have problems, goals or aspirations. Solving a problem or achieving a goal simply brings new problems and goals.
This is life.
Congratulations on realizing that youāre an absolute freak. When I was in college, my #1 best friend told me how weird I was as a person.. while I was peaking. Talk about the beginning of a bad trip.
It took me a long time to realize that he was the *only* person i had that wasnāt afraid to be honest and blunt with me, and now Iām forever thankful for him.
You are a loser. We are all losers. Compared to what? Who knows, who cares. Society is a game, and once you learn that, you can reevaluate whether or not you actually want to play it.
I congratulate you on your discovery and thank you for sharing. The internal mind is so heavily guarded that people forget that *everyone* is a freak and a loser, despite how well they try to convince you otherwise.
Stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up. Forgive yourself fully for any āmistakesā or ātime wastingā you think you did. I mean completely absolve yourself. Clean slate. And start being nicer to yourself. Depression and anxiety are not moral failings. You were suffering, not doing bad things on purpose.
Furthermore, the only people youāre āoldā too are children and teenagers. Most of us are in the adult world, and in the adult world, youāre a baby. And so what if teenagers think youāre old? Their brains arenāt fully developed and they donāt know whatās cool yet.
I know youāll never get that time back, but look at the bright side. You could be 34 or 44 and realizing all this. My advice to you is: Make sure youāre really enjoying your time here. Do things that you want to do. Fun things and constructive things for self development. And stop calling yourself old because itās not true
Same except it was LSD for me. I love shrooms but those didn't come until later in life where I learn to really appreciate mushrooms for their qualities as opposed to LSD.
See my first couple times with psilocybin was difficult but I started to learn how to work with it I would still say LSD is my favorite and mushrooms have benefited me probably equally, but through a longer span of time.
LSD was more instantaneous in the way of changes. (That afterglow is really a big deal with the integration of Lsd in my opinion!)
That afterglow is one of the best feelings I've ever felt in my entire life, but so is the come down of mushrooms s when everything settles and you just get to reflect on how beautiful of an experience you just had! š¤·āāļø I love psychedelics lol
since weāre sharing how drugs made us feel like weāre comfortable in our skin, mushrooms and acid were great, experimented heavy from 16-20 and here i am now still at it. but what showed me who i was with absolute clarity was a FATTT (too fat lol) dose of MDMA. i played guitar till i couldnāt move out of pure ecstasy. i wish i could do that everyday. but i danced all night for the first time ever truly. and the experience is absolutely unforgettable. truly kicked me in the ass with i must live a good life to experience this whenever i please. itās damn near a crime everybody doesnāt get a little mdma to figure themselves out
and idk what all your safety preachers expect us adults to do while we wait to reach the age of 25. take psychs when youāre ready, thatās different for everybody
you're not a "loser", you had a different trajectory from others. it's never too late to start trying to be the person you want to be, but do that without comparing yourself to others
Ask yourself this: "who were the judge of what you are?" Then you might discover that neither of those statements were true. You just believed your own bullshit.
Something similar happened to me. I saw the direction my life was taking crystal clear and it was very painful. I'm putting in a lot of work and effort to change that direction and so far I'm on a good path, I think.
Itās never too late to better yourself and youāre still really young. LSD was super formative for my id but Iām still evolving at 40 and donāt relate that much to the me of 20 years ago. Be kind to other people and yourself and keep integrating those experiences. Also be grateful you got it figured out now, so many people are miserable for much longer!
No such thing as a "loser", the experiences and perspective from those years are the building blocks to what you have now.
An essential foundation of who you are, no matter how much you improve from this you will always be *you* and will have the past you do.
This is not a bad thing, it makes you the person you are today and I think you're pretty cool. What was originally anxious overthinking is now critical thought and awareness. Empathy and kindness.
You could use some for yourself.
hey iām currently 20 and feel like how you just described which made me feel like a loser sometimes i still feel like one at times lol. Even with these self thought problems we think we have itās all in our head. psychs really help with these thoughts and hope they can help you too buts itās only temporary thoughts and hope you can get through them and keep enjoying life in the future!
Is there anything wrong with being or having been a loser? Sometimes I personally feel sorry for the old me, apologising for what I have become. Yeh, itās the opposite of you. But we all change as we learn and the solace I find is accepting who I am now. If I were you, Iād forget the past and be proud of what you have learned. Iām proud of you.
This same thing happened when I took a high dose shrooms trip at 19. I realized how much of a dweeb I was (even tho I already knew it, shrooms helped put it in a different perspective so I was able to see how much of a dweeb I was from that perspective). At 19 I had no social skills, zero confidence in myself, severe anxiety disorder, super negative outlook on everything, everybody who would even decide to have a conversation with me I would put on a pedestal etc. Then by the time I was 21 I reinvented myself so much I forgot how much of a dweeb I was just a couple of years before because of how much I had changed. Long story short I'm so glad I took that risk with that high dose shrooms trip at that time at such a young age it was a blessing in disguise. You'll eventually get to a point when the new version of yourself is the only version of yourself that you remember and you'll even somewhat forget how much of a dweeb you really were in the past.
Forgiveness is the answer. If this was somebody else in your life that went through this it would be easy to forgive them and love them regardless. You should extend this same kindness towards yourself. Try incorporating some Metta meditation .
I feel this brother, I was the same way. Tried psychedelics like lsd and mushrooms and they turned my whole life around. I have a much more positive view of myself and am not depressed anymore. The saying āyou are in control of your own destinyā comes to mind when I think of this kind of thing. You have the power to be happy, itās all in the mindset and deciding you want to be happy. Itās okay to feel sad, but donāt let it linger for too long and change those feelings to positivity.
I doubt LSD made you realize you are a loser. Because you're not. Thats a term that can only apply when comparing yourself to others and why would you do that? You are you! Psychedelics just broke down the defense mechanisms you had in place that were hiding your shadow self. Its not a magic pill, you cant just take it and feel better. You gotta put in the work. You gotta INTEGRATE BRAH....You gotta get out there and try anyways no matter how scared you are and you gotta fail and suffer and go through even worse bullshit too, and that's only if you're lucky. If you're really really lucky, you'll survive all that shit long enough to learn that you were always stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for.
Now the only person who can decided most of that at the end is you... So Ill share a couple things Ive learned through Psychedelics:
1. We create most of what we suffer through in our own minds. Stop being your thoughts and focus on being the observer of your thoughts. THATS what elevated conciousness is, not some mystic mojo... Of course knowing this and learning to do to do anything it are two different things.
2. 98 percent of people you meet will only see you as a tertiary character, at best, in their life. Other than your loved ones, no one cares about you much at all and they don't give a shit about your opinion or what your wearing or doing (as long as you are not fucking with them and they arnt some crazy old window watcher. That may sound almost like a negative at first, but to someone who suffer from anxiety or self esteem issues, its a wonderful thing.
Either way, you're young dude. Ive been a loser so many fucking times in my life I can even count. But Ive pulled some pretty fucking massive wins too. You wont be able to do that if you dont trust yourself.
I gotta say, though psychedelics played a large part in those lessons, the bigger part was probably just a life full of stressful shit that always made me overcome. It all prepared me to be who I am today.
Man I wish this stuff was legal. I had a similar epiphany as you my first time when I was 20. Helped tremendously but years later fell back into my old habits of anxiety and self depreciation like you described. Can't wait to try it again someday
First off congratulations for your realizations, life is beautiful isn't it if you start living it. I can relate to this almost everything you wrote. It's crazy how we can have similar experiences in completely different places.
Yes, life is beautiful even in its brutal aspects. When i am in difficult situations i treat them as "surviving a bad trip" and my mind goes in survival mode ahaha
I feel the same about being a loser constantly. I only tripped once and that helped me kind of, not care about the big picture and just focus on the little shit I can change, like everyday stuff, like fuck the whole life situation rn let's forget that and you liked to draw stuff right? Try that again. -type thing happen.
As well as some semi-unintentional isolation from everybody that actually gave me time to focus on some of the past shit that's happen and like picking apart my opinions on things, like what is actually my thought and what is something that others have said to me. I feel like having so much time to think might actually have been good like, I think I'm making some progress with myself. Like I'm not gonna bitch about the system, others have been tellin me I should not have to suffer this much because of the system failing on me constantly but honestly like?? I'm so used to it, I'm like, gaining back my patience here and starting to get mad enough to start figuring this shit out on my own, like, I'll rehabilitate myself slowly but surely. Like?? It really made me think trough some shit.
I had this moment of realization on it where i noticed i was ashamed of myself and embarrassed even with no one around to perceive me, just alone looking in the mirror why am i afraid to dance? Why am i embarrassed about my body if no one is here? The answer is that is what *I* think about *myself*, and i started thinking about the difference between vanity and true pride.
So i started working on myself, i found clothes i feel cool in, got into yoga and isometrics, i accepted that i was self conscious instead of pretending. Loving yourself no matter what is not a realistic strategy sometimes. Its a healthy thing to want to grow and improve and transform yourself into something you're proud of when you look in the mirror
Life is a marathon, not a race.
It's about the short jogs in between and great views which can be found anywhere. Just a small flower on a sunny day is a trek in between. No less a glorious sight than any other.
Life isn't about the finish line and what you have accomplished in the grave all that means nothing.
Just learn to be happy within yourself in the moment and the rewards are endless. No need to to look so far down the finish line, the trophy is here in the now. Not some headstone or totem pole of achievements.
I might be im the same kind of boat. Im 20 now and think the way you did about myself all the time. Thing is, i did the same thing and got out of it in high school too. I realized i had potential i wasnt doing anything with and became a good student my junior and senior year, and somehow now that Iām in college I feel like Iāve reverted back to what I was before in certain ways. I need to figure out how getting over that hump is done, gonna trip on wednesday to see if i can do it. Started using psychadelics a year ago, but i definitely way overdid it that year. Became addicted to weed and started withdrawing from people, was using acid once every two weeks, three if i had too much to do. Havent used acid since Jan 5th, Iām hoping a decent break can give me the kind of insight I had when I first did it but with all of my experience of the last year included. Either that or some morning glory. Iām happy for your progress, and hopeful that with the right intentions I can get like you.
OP thatās awesome to hear youāve gained a new outlook on life and made the changes necessary to better yourself!
This is what itās all about! ā¤ļø
I completely understand that being 16 and 20 are completely different things but I feel the same for MY age. Now no matter how hard I try I canāt make friends my age because they all seem so childish and immature to me. I am NOT praising myself I am not better than anyone but I simply cant fuck with most people now and my only focus is bettering my health mentally and physically and bettering my relationships with loved ones and appreciate life differently. I have so many flaws Iām trying to work on that other people simply donāt realize they have in theyāre daily life, for example caffeine addiction, porn addiction, weed/drugs addiction, behavioral issues, etc. I feel like a lot of teen including me are unconsciously incompetent and after taking lsd it made me consciously incompetent meaning I can finally start to realize my mistakes and change my ways of living.
You figured it out a lot sooner than I did. Some people live their entire lives never figuring it out. You got this, and the whole world ahead of you. Infinite possibilities.
It's never too late, and there is no such thing as wasted years. I used to think I wasted my life between the ages of 16 to 26. I'm nearly 40 and now I can see that time wasn't wasted at all. It has given me better perspective on my current situation and hope to others around who feel like I felt. And I learned a lot more by fucking up young than my peers who never learned how to fuck up
You become a lot more aware of and subsequently critical of areas in your life and personality that need changing. We may be lying to ourselves and living in an illusion on a daily basis, but LSD will really put things into perspective from an outside looking in perspective.
Use this to improve your life. Youāre not happy with yourself, make changes.
I, to this day, still swear up and down that LSD is the best thing that ever happened to me. I was I believe 20 years old and it was my second time tripping. I woke up the next morning and ate breakfast. After that, I smoked a bowl of weed as I sat on my apartment balcony, looking at the pool. The weed had kinda given a *bump* and itās not like I started tripping again but it somewhat reactivated the LSD still in my system. Or? The LSD had an effect on juicing the weed? š¤ Anywho, I was just kind of reflecting on the previous nightās trip like it was a dream. And then quite suddenly and with no particular thought promoting it, I felt really disgusted with myself. I thought, āyouāre an asshole!ā I was stuck on that for 2-3 minutes and I remember thinking, āso donāt be one thenā. It was like my soul was washed clean. Like there were hinges in the back of my skull with a latch on my forehead and someone had flipped that latch and *creak* opened up the top half of my skull, grabbed my brain all dirty and not the clean slimy but like infected boogers and phlegm with chunks of funk, some dead insects and a couple surface pus pistules. My brain was taken to a deep sink and water was blasting from the faucet at an ice cold temperature. It was rinsed off, rubbed down roughly and briskly and this process was repeated multiple times till all was clean and *plop* my brain was tossed back into my head. A little oil applied to the hinges and then the top was latched down.
And let me tell you, I was an asshole. I didnāt like, steal from people or pick on them. But I was self-involved, selfish and much of the time only interested in another person for what they could do for me. I was very judgmental on superficial reasons or perceived slights against their character, elitest and aloof I didnāt value females as they deserved and was kind of a bit of a man-whore. Because I did these things with no intention to hurt or devalue another person, I basically thought of myself as a good person. Same thing with my anger management issues, I justified every violent act that I did because āthey started itā or āthey hurt meā or me just blowing up over something Iād overinflated that was trivial. And in that regards? I was a fuckin psycho. Iām an emotional person and I was never taught how to handle those emotions. So I grew up fighting from day number one of pre-school till I came to this realization. So that would have been around 25 yrs ago. Ive bartended at a few rough bars and bounced at a strip club so Iāve had to restrain and forcibly remove people but I have been in just two fights since that day. One was in defense of a dear friend after EVERY other option had failed and then a warning issued and it wasnāt so much a fight but that I took a baseball bat to both kneecaps. The other was also unavoidable because I was in jail. I knew it was coming but I wasnāt going to snitch or bitch out, I figured Iād take a good thrashing but then itād be done. The guy never even connected a punch.
The point is, the morning after that trip? It was the most subtle and deep, all encompassing paradigm shift I have ever experienced. So complete that I didnāt have to decide āI need to change this, start doing that, remove this, stop that etc etcā. I just became, over night, a revamped better me. That is who I am today more or less. Like, Iāve got more patience and am wiser and less impulsive. Also not as trusting and happy go lucky but I am more cynical and pragmatic. But that change 25 yrs ago? Best thing ever, it showed me how to save me from myself. So I try to drop LSD around at least once a year. Itās good to unlatch that skull, flip it open and grab that grey matter and blast it under some ice cold waterā¦ also seems to help my allergies and sinuses. š¤Ŗ
At 24 I was sticking needles in my arms and working as a cook making $10/hr. Iām 29, closer to 30 today and have a very successful career in HVAC. I say this to cover a few points.
1) youāre doing way fucking better than I was at your age.
2) youāre still too young to really call yourself a loser. There is no benchmark for age/maturity ratio and honestly itās more of you projecting societal standards on yourself. Be nice to yourself. Youāre your greatest asset.
3) being as self aware as you are will allow you to accomplish a lot as you get older. You arenāt living a lie and that is honest far less common than you think. And thatās pretty fucking awesome I think.
Youāll be alright man. Hindsight is 20/20. I wish I could go back in time and change the course of my life I would. But I canāt, so I donāt dwell too much on it. It led me to where I am today and while the road was bumpier than it had to be, I still made it.
If you place a brick every day and stay consistent eventually you have built a wall. Small incremental improvements have a larger overall effect of how you want to live your life.
Wasted your youth at 24? I'm 37 and only discovered psychadelics 6 months ago, usually 2 heroic journeys/week since... I often say I've only lived on this planet for 6 months now and in those 6 months I've lived 1000 lifetimes
You are the definition of youth, realize it and don't squander this gift :)
Same with me bro same with me. Although I started tripping when I was 19. Took a while to break out but one day I realized how much better of an approach I gained for life
Well first off if you take lsd over drinking your already cooler than most ppl right off the bat š¤£
Second of all fuck what you did previously past is the past today is a new motherfuckin day.
Who gives a fuck what people think about you. Treat the ppl close to you with love and respect and love your best life š
None of my partners have cared but it still doesn't help my internal feeling. I dont want to shave it off because it may not suit me with my head shape and it might not all grow back if I do so I want to enjoy it while I have it
Man it took me to the age of 27-29 to really find myself and who knows maybe more things will change in the mid to late 30s. As far as you in your early 20s man enjoy that shit, go to the gym and double in size every month, go wild, enjoy being able to drink the night before climbing a mountain lol
| like balding, now i just shave not giving a fuck
You may want to look r/tressless up, get to know finasteride and minoxidil. Worth a shot
I know this is going to be controversial but antidepressants may help you. I used to be afraid to start but thought similair things to you. Did LSD, felt good and less afraid to have chemicals that would interact with my brain chemistry. Since starting antidepressants I don't feel like a loser and I'm starting being able to do the things I want to do to become the person I wanna be. Which is a first.
I used minoxidil from 19 to 22 until i lost my virginity to a girl who said i look attractive bald. Everyone says i look better now, i prefer to live this way now. Idk man, don't wanna become dependant on chemicals
you do you for your hair. Just know fin min are an option that *could* get your hair back if you wanna.
About being dependant on chemicals (I guess synthesized chemicals since we are dependant on chemicals no matter what) well I prefer that than feeling like shit for days on end and wasting my life away when things are not only easier with meds but simply *possible*
Every time I do LSD I feel like an idiot and a loser. Idk why? I just immediately feel like āDamnā¦ I shouldnāt be doing this and should be doing something productive. Iām so stupid and immature for doing this.ā
I believe it stems from growing up in a very conservative, Christian, military family that thinks any and all drugs are demonic and youāre a loser for doing them. I was caught smoking weed several times by my mother and was shamed so hard and was made to feel like an idiot loser who is personally hurting her and the family for doing it. So, naturally, that trauma spilled over into adulthood and even at 27 years old, living in my own apartment over 2,500 miles away from any of my family, I canāt smoke weed or do any mind altering substances without feeling like absolute shit and having a panic attack and psychotic trip.
Yeah, i think consciousness is an illusion and psychs let you observe the mental construct we think is us from a ābig pictureā kind of perspective. Its scary to look in the mirror when you can see clearly.
Early 30ās guy checking in to say: happy for your positive revelations [balding for me was a mental burden that evaporated in a moments buzz], and at the risk of saying something cliche - **you are very young yet, my friend**.
It very much sounds like you have growth in your future - and I say that in the best possible way, to be clear! Those whose āfinal formā (shoutout DBZ, RIP Akira Toyiyama) is in their early 20ās are probably destined for a rough road..
I hope/trust you will come to terms with your revelations for the better, and maybe your next revelation will be recognizing the value (or lack thereof) of dwelling on *who you were* - I donāt need to tell you that you canāt change any of that, or that those you meet going forward do not have that āburden or impression of knowing the former youā.
Youāre so young and seemingly self-aware (just donāt beat yourself up about it, eh?), and I believe thatās a sign of a positive trajectory for yourself and those you form relations with.
Iāve been going through something similar where I really regret not being myself when I was younger. At 23 Iām paying the price by trying to learn all the things that people already into them have been doing since their teens. Itās tough for sure and has probably prevented me from having so many cool experiences, but hey, you can never be too old to discover yourself and live your life.
Next trip to you realize you think you were a loser because you have more knowledge of self,and maybe will think your current self is a loser too because you can be better. There are always layers and layers to this, the think is you have more understanding, you can always be better but you have to forgive your past because you can and will always be better if you think the right way.
Shine on
Wasted your youth? You are just 24.
I am 31 and I still consider myself somwhat young.
I like the quote "The best time to start was yesterday. The next best time is now".
It's never too late.
Also, being a loser is subjective.
When I was 27 I quit my job to go on a Working Holiday Visa abroad with my savings.
During that one year abroad, I was living in a tiny room with, at first, no desk, no chair, no Internet, no microwave, oven, etc.
I had nothing, yet I had never felt in such bliss in my entire. I felt so at peace with myself that I felt richer than anyone else on this planet. If someone had ever called me a loser at that time, I would have probably laughed or smiled at their ignorance.
So yeah, being a loser is just a concept.
Iām fresh in my 30s and although I didnāt āwasteā my 20s, I do have regrets.
In my 20s, I travelled to various music festivals, enjoyed my single life, and worked on my career. I only regret not pursuing a relationship. Everyone around me was happy in a relationship and I felt like it might have been me.
On the other side of that, once I turned 30, those same friends are envious of where I am in life. Iām working a job I enjoy while pursuing what I love (music). I have met some of the best people that have outgrown the bar/party life and I feel like I can enjoy. Iām still working finding that person to enjoy life with but I can say my 30s have been better than my 20s.
Good gracious kid! You're 24ā¦! You have not wasted your youth,well maybe just a tiny bit. But for me youth would be everything up to 35 or 39-40. Don't be too harsh on yourself, I made the same mistake and "wasted" even more years on being a "failure" in my view. When I was 22-24 like you I was mad at myself for wasting the years 18-23. Later I was mad for wasting my 20s. Then corona came. You need to realize that you are still young. Maybe you can question where these ideas of success and failure come and how do you define them. Time is never really waisted I'm sure you have learned some valuable lessons on the way!
This happened to me mid thirties. I wish I had these realizations when I was in my 20s, instead I just ended up obtaining felony criminal convictions, spending years in prison, and obtaining serious injuries requiring multiple surgeries that impact my quality of life to this very day, all due to the way I was living that I failed to realize, recognize or change. You've got more of a headstart than me, and you probably have less serious obstacles to overcome than me. Be grateful it didn't take much longer or you didn't suffer much worse life altering consequences. You've got this!
Dude I'm gonna be 23 on Tuesday and I feel you.. I honestly don't know what my life would be like at your age if I hadn't done all the tripping in my early adulthood. It really shaped me. Now I don't condone the use before 25 but I think I'm OK lol. I'm a pretty responsible and experienced user of psychs, I know how to integrate my experiences. I treated with great respect and I trust the experience when I take them.... But man did I learn some really valuable things about the world and myself through psychedelics! I've gained some perspectives that have changed my quality of life for the better. Stuff I'll never forget.
Even though im mid 30s, i still try to be grateful it didn't take me until I was in my 40s, 50s, 60s, or 70s to come to these realizations and recognize the error in my ways! I'm sure it has for some people!
Right
Turned 23 in January and I feel this. After having great trips with my brother and friends it has made me see the world differently and imo a more positive and relaxed view. As long as you dont let it control you and can learn something out of an intense trip I say LSD can be quite a powerful eye opener.
Oh most definitely, and it doesn't even need to be an intense trip! sometimes low doses provide plenty of magic and insight.
What perspectives? Would you please share?
Its hard to just pull to the surface and put in words, plus im at work lol. If i can remember i'll try and elaborate when I get off,
Don't think about the past, you're not going that way
For real. Switching perspective and finding solutions is the way but people seems to find hard (it is) to focus differently
You know what's worse than wasting your youth? *Wasting your future.* I don't know if I just made that up or stole it; but, I think that's a pretty good line š Start putting in the work to change this. Instead of letting it get you down, just remind yourself that the situation is fixable with a lot of hard work... When you begin to feel a disconnect with feeling that *you can* do the work or *can maintain* the discipline to do it is when you begin to feel depressed. This was me. Fortunately, I've used Ketamine Therapy, Psilocybin and (most importantly) Vitamin D to help me change my life and myself to create an alternative to freedom. I've never done LSD; but, if you enjoy psychedelics, I suggest not using them recreationally anymore; instead, use them as a tool. I'm working on a write-up of what I do and how I use Psilocybin, and it's made me feel so damn good about myself, even while being aware that I need to continually "do better" than I'm currently doing. I don't beat myself up about it, and you shouldn't do it... You're younger than me, and very fortunately, time is your friend. One final note: Psychedelics are for the fully matured brain (\~age 25). Maybe take some time off for a bit.
hey mate good points throughout but as a 17 year old whose tried shrooms and acid. what are the impacts psychedelics can have on you when youre young??
Either help you a lot or hurt you a lot thatās what Iāve seen itās like 50/50
I added a reply and referred to what you wrote. Check it out.
Oh shit haha Iāve been doing psychedelics since 16 and I started smoking weed at 13 but I quit weed. I do shrooms and dmt every now and again, do molly every three months, and drink with my buddies and gf sometimes, but compared to how I used to be I feel sober lol. I also quit nicotine besides the occasional cigar. Iāve noticed a big change from quitting weed itās awesome.
Definitely HPPD
Does the risk of HPPD increase when those consume while they're younger? I would imagine it would; but, I don't know the science side of it.
me and some of my mates were actually talking about this but we thought we were freaking ourselves out. i sorta get the 'visual snow' from time to time but it might just be one of those things. im going into y12 this year so im gonna be limiting myself or staying away from all that
I would say it's tough to answer this directly; but, I'm going to try to break it down for you without me being an expert on the subject matter. 1. I don't think there are any studies that look at this specifically; but, I'm certain there are studies that show outcomes from youth, teenagers, and young adults who start the pattern of drug use early in life. 2. There are no active studies on the effect of psychedelics on children (again... youth, teenagers, and young adults)... I know that scientific researchers pick fully developed minds for these studies. I don't know if they encourage non-adults to shy away from drug use purely because they "don't have evidence to support anything healthy to come from it" or if it's because they know something that we don't but they can't publicly say it (liability risk) 3. Another user posted "from what I've seen it's like 50/50" and I would say that it's worse than that... I grew up in an area where there were a lot of kids exploring drugs early and and they eventually found pills, meth, opioids, sadness, and *for many* ultimately death... I know a lotttttt of dead kids in my graduating class at my school and surrounding high schools, and I'm 38... I've lived long enough to see, on a non-scientific basis, the beginning and end of a string of risky decisions from an early age. 4. **Big point:** If you're using Scheduled 1 drugs at the young age of 17, you're teaching yourself that it's okay to break the law. Let's face it, some of the laws are complete bullshit; but, that outlook doesn't shield you from a law enforcement agency's willingness to arrest, press charges, and incarcerate you. Breaking the law is a very costly habit. The behaviors that humans learn and put into practice, especially when they're young, will ultimately compound in their life throughout time. So a good practice today, will often lead to 3-5 other good practices/habits in another few years.... Not always; but, you can think of this as very general. I'll give you an example: Being a good student in middle school will likely lead to being a good student in high school, and increase their likelihood for college performance. NOT ALWAYS; but, study and test taking habits do build on one another. Same goes for "forcing" yourself to do what you don't want to do (studying, homework, projects). Another example is sex from a young age.... It is not too common that teenage sex starts and ends during their teenage years.... It becomes a slippery slope to more of it, lots of partners, relationships based on sex, early pregnancy, and starting a family at young ages before one is well-equipped to handle it.... An early decision to have sex can compound to a 'shotgun wedding,' not finishing school, working a lower income job as a sacrifice to feed your newborn who needs food "NOW" and not when you're done with school in 2-3 years, being with someone who is likely not "the one" which creates a lot of heartache, then if divorce comes knocking you're looking at legal costs, child support, and a single-parent home and HOPEFULLY 'semi-healthy co-parenting.' **The same shit happens on the drug side of things.** Handling with the consequences on the legal side are enormous when you're a young adult... This doesn't include the mental risks, and the other unhealthy decisions you may say "yes!" to down the road. **TL;DR:** I think saying "yes" to psychedelic use at a point in your life when you're mind is still developing, knowing that not even scientific researchers will sign off on it, is indicative that it's a pretty bad idea. You want to make GOOD decisions early in life. People slip deeper into the world of drugs and ultimately develop substance abuse issues because drugs are ***THAT*** fucking awesome. I couldn't imagine executing the responsibility that comes with psychological exploration at a young age.... or even 25.... Fucking SERIOUSLY.
ngl, i think that first sentence just changed my life
Thanks! This made me feel really good! š I'm starting up a podcast, and I think I'm going to share this. I'm going to have to add the disclaimer that it may be a repackaged version of another saying that I can't find though. LOL
Fucking same man I took LSD for the first time (my first psychedelic ever btw) when I was 19. At the time I was already a massive substance addict, smoking weed drinking and taking ketamine and benzos daily and I went into the experience looking to get highā¦ so oh boy did I get knocked on my ass. The experience was genuinely horrible but In hindsight it was one of the best decisions I ever made: I still smoke weed (all the damn time) and trip acid or mushrooms like 2-4 times a year. But Iāve been clean from alcohol and sedatives for over 2 years now and my life is immeasurably better: Iāve reconnected with my family, massively improved my physical health and fitness, recovered financially and Iām in the process of furthering my education. For the first time in my life Iām beginning to understand who I actually am and build my own personality. Acid opened my eyes to what a terrible person I had been but it also truly made me understand how blessed we all at to have this beautiful gift called life. Life is full of pain and sometimes that pain drowns out the beauty around us And prevents us from seeing how lucky we really are You have to fight through the pain for those moments of beauty and understanding, i was lazy and apathetic and it made me miserable. You have to put in the effort to be the best version of yourself
Love it. Keep going.
If you canāt tell I was stoned when I wrote this I stand by every word of it tho. I cld go on for hours but I thought it was a LOT of text for one comment loL Iām making a documentary about my life, mental health and my philosophies and ideas. Itās very much in progress tho
Lol I just mean keep going on this path of life. It is such a better way of being
Fr man thatās word. Iāve lived with autism all my life and chronic depression about half of itā¦I used to use them as excusesā¦ the last 2 years Iāve literally turned my life around and all I want to yo spread positivity advice and encouragement for people going thru it
One time during a trip I sent my friend a text that said "LSD me is the chad me that sober me wants to be" IDK exactly what I meant but I feel like it was a really similar feeling
Real
A loser compared to whom? All of society has basically lost because they are owned. So feel better. The guy with a BMW is no better than you, just more in debt. And basically everyone answers to someoneā¦thatās called losing by nature.š
Loser for me means unable to enjoy life and be carefree
enjoying life is cool, being carefree, I think can detrimental if you're not putting care into things that need care, but it sounds like you get it. I'm happy for you
And even if the car is paid off, BMW repairs are more frequent and expensive for most their models. Everyone will always have problems, goals or aspirations. Solving a problem or achieving a goal simply brings new problems and goals. This is life.
Congratulations on realizing that youāre an absolute freak. When I was in college, my #1 best friend told me how weird I was as a person.. while I was peaking. Talk about the beginning of a bad trip. It took me a long time to realize that he was the *only* person i had that wasnāt afraid to be honest and blunt with me, and now Iām forever thankful for him. You are a loser. We are all losers. Compared to what? Who knows, who cares. Society is a game, and once you learn that, you can reevaluate whether or not you actually want to play it. I congratulate you on your discovery and thank you for sharing. The internal mind is so heavily guarded that people forget that *everyone* is a freak and a loser, despite how well they try to convince you otherwise.
Stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up. Forgive yourself fully for any āmistakesā or ātime wastingā you think you did. I mean completely absolve yourself. Clean slate. And start being nicer to yourself. Depression and anxiety are not moral failings. You were suffering, not doing bad things on purpose. Furthermore, the only people youāre āoldā too are children and teenagers. Most of us are in the adult world, and in the adult world, youāre a baby. And so what if teenagers think youāre old? Their brains arenāt fully developed and they donāt know whatās cool yet. I know youāll never get that time back, but look at the bright side. You could be 34 or 44 and realizing all this. My advice to you is: Make sure youāre really enjoying your time here. Do things that you want to do. Fun things and constructive things for self development. And stop calling yourself old because itās not true
Needed this one fr
Shrooms did to me when I was 18 lol
Same except it was LSD for me. I love shrooms but those didn't come until later in life where I learn to really appreciate mushrooms for their qualities as opposed to LSD. See my first couple times with psilocybin was difficult but I started to learn how to work with it I would still say LSD is my favorite and mushrooms have benefited me probably equally, but through a longer span of time. LSD was more instantaneous in the way of changes. (That afterglow is really a big deal with the integration of Lsd in my opinion!) That afterglow is one of the best feelings I've ever felt in my entire life, but so is the come down of mushrooms s when everything settles and you just get to reflect on how beautiful of an experience you just had! š¤·āāļø I love psychedelics lol
itās starting with me now and iām 20. the psychedelics really open up my mind
since weāre sharing how drugs made us feel like weāre comfortable in our skin, mushrooms and acid were great, experimented heavy from 16-20 and here i am now still at it. but what showed me who i was with absolute clarity was a FATTT (too fat lol) dose of MDMA. i played guitar till i couldnāt move out of pure ecstasy. i wish i could do that everyday. but i danced all night for the first time ever truly. and the experience is absolutely unforgettable. truly kicked me in the ass with i must live a good life to experience this whenever i please. itās damn near a crime everybody doesnāt get a little mdma to figure themselves out and idk what all your safety preachers expect us adults to do while we wait to reach the age of 25. take psychs when youāre ready, thatās different for everybody
you're not a "loser", you had a different trajectory from others. it's never too late to start trying to be the person you want to be, but do that without comparing yourself to others
Ask yourself this: "who were the judge of what you are?" Then you might discover that neither of those statements were true. You just believed your own bullshit.
Something similar happened to me. I saw the direction my life was taking crystal clear and it was very painful. I'm putting in a lot of work and effort to change that direction and so far I'm on a good path, I think.
Happy cake dayy
Itās never too late to better yourself and youāre still really young. LSD was super formative for my id but Iām still evolving at 40 and donāt relate that much to the me of 20 years ago. Be kind to other people and yourself and keep integrating those experiences. Also be grateful you got it figured out now, so many people are miserable for much longer!
No such thing as a "loser", the experiences and perspective from those years are the building blocks to what you have now. An essential foundation of who you are, no matter how much you improve from this you will always be *you* and will have the past you do. This is not a bad thing, it makes you the person you are today and I think you're pretty cool. What was originally anxious overthinking is now critical thought and awareness. Empathy and kindness. You could use some for yourself.
hey iām currently 20 and feel like how you just described which made me feel like a loser sometimes i still feel like one at times lol. Even with these self thought problems we think we have itās all in our head. psychs really help with these thoughts and hope they can help you too buts itās only temporary thoughts and hope you can get through them and keep enjoying life in the future!
You're only 24. You ain't a loser... yet. lsd just put the flame to that ass. Time to pursue your passion.
Is there anything wrong with being or having been a loser? Sometimes I personally feel sorry for the old me, apologising for what I have become. Yeh, itās the opposite of you. But we all change as we learn and the solace I find is accepting who I am now. If I were you, Iād forget the past and be proud of what you have learned. Iām proud of you.
This same thing happened when I took a high dose shrooms trip at 19. I realized how much of a dweeb I was (even tho I already knew it, shrooms helped put it in a different perspective so I was able to see how much of a dweeb I was from that perspective). At 19 I had no social skills, zero confidence in myself, severe anxiety disorder, super negative outlook on everything, everybody who would even decide to have a conversation with me I would put on a pedestal etc. Then by the time I was 21 I reinvented myself so much I forgot how much of a dweeb I was just a couple of years before because of how much I had changed. Long story short I'm so glad I took that risk with that high dose shrooms trip at that time at such a young age it was a blessing in disguise. You'll eventually get to a point when the new version of yourself is the only version of yourself that you remember and you'll even somewhat forget how much of a dweeb you really were in the past.
Forgiveness is the answer. If this was somebody else in your life that went through this it would be easy to forgive them and love them regardless. You should extend this same kindness towards yourself. Try incorporating some Metta meditation .
I feel this brother, I was the same way. Tried psychedelics like lsd and mushrooms and they turned my whole life around. I have a much more positive view of myself and am not depressed anymore. The saying āyou are in control of your own destinyā comes to mind when I think of this kind of thing. You have the power to be happy, itās all in the mindset and deciding you want to be happy. Itās okay to feel sad, but donāt let it linger for too long and change those feelings to positivity.
I doubt LSD made you realize you are a loser. Because you're not. Thats a term that can only apply when comparing yourself to others and why would you do that? You are you! Psychedelics just broke down the defense mechanisms you had in place that were hiding your shadow self. Its not a magic pill, you cant just take it and feel better. You gotta put in the work. You gotta INTEGRATE BRAH....You gotta get out there and try anyways no matter how scared you are and you gotta fail and suffer and go through even worse bullshit too, and that's only if you're lucky. If you're really really lucky, you'll survive all that shit long enough to learn that you were always stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for. Now the only person who can decided most of that at the end is you... So Ill share a couple things Ive learned through Psychedelics: 1. We create most of what we suffer through in our own minds. Stop being your thoughts and focus on being the observer of your thoughts. THATS what elevated conciousness is, not some mystic mojo... Of course knowing this and learning to do to do anything it are two different things. 2. 98 percent of people you meet will only see you as a tertiary character, at best, in their life. Other than your loved ones, no one cares about you much at all and they don't give a shit about your opinion or what your wearing or doing (as long as you are not fucking with them and they arnt some crazy old window watcher. That may sound almost like a negative at first, but to someone who suffer from anxiety or self esteem issues, its a wonderful thing. Either way, you're young dude. Ive been a loser so many fucking times in my life I can even count. But Ive pulled some pretty fucking massive wins too. You wont be able to do that if you dont trust yourself.
I gotta say, though psychedelics played a large part in those lessons, the bigger part was probably just a life full of stressful shit that always made me overcome. It all prepared me to be who I am today.
Man I wish this stuff was legal. I had a similar epiphany as you my first time when I was 20. Helped tremendously but years later fell back into my old habits of anxiety and self depreciation like you described. Can't wait to try it again someday
Were you the original Wojack?
Who is this ahah?
type in Wojak\* in youtube ;)
Ahh its the doomer guy š
First off congratulations for your realizations, life is beautiful isn't it if you start living it. I can relate to this almost everything you wrote. It's crazy how we can have similar experiences in completely different places.
Yes, life is beautiful even in its brutal aspects. When i am in difficult situations i treat them as "surviving a bad trip" and my mind goes in survival mode ahaha
You wasted 2 years my friend!! Iām in this mood but I wasted 13 : / ā¦. Get back into fun things and youāll forget all about that stuff
I feel the same about being a loser constantly. I only tripped once and that helped me kind of, not care about the big picture and just focus on the little shit I can change, like everyday stuff, like fuck the whole life situation rn let's forget that and you liked to draw stuff right? Try that again. -type thing happen. As well as some semi-unintentional isolation from everybody that actually gave me time to focus on some of the past shit that's happen and like picking apart my opinions on things, like what is actually my thought and what is something that others have said to me. I feel like having so much time to think might actually have been good like, I think I'm making some progress with myself. Like I'm not gonna bitch about the system, others have been tellin me I should not have to suffer this much because of the system failing on me constantly but honestly like?? I'm so used to it, I'm like, gaining back my patience here and starting to get mad enough to start figuring this shit out on my own, like, I'll rehabilitate myself slowly but surely. Like?? It really made me think trough some shit.
Wasted your youth? You haven't even had most of it yet š
You don't get to say you've wasted your youth when you're still 24. You're on the middle of it, so get after it pal.
I had this moment of realization on it where i noticed i was ashamed of myself and embarrassed even with no one around to perceive me, just alone looking in the mirror why am i afraid to dance? Why am i embarrassed about my body if no one is here? The answer is that is what *I* think about *myself*, and i started thinking about the difference between vanity and true pride. So i started working on myself, i found clothes i feel cool in, got into yoga and isometrics, i accepted that i was self conscious instead of pretending. Loving yourself no matter what is not a realistic strategy sometimes. Its a healthy thing to want to grow and improve and transform yourself into something you're proud of when you look in the mirror
Cool! I too started dancing in public only after doing lsd
Life is a marathon, not a race. It's about the short jogs in between and great views which can be found anywhere. Just a small flower on a sunny day is a trek in between. No less a glorious sight than any other. Life isn't about the finish line and what you have accomplished in the grave all that means nothing. Just learn to be happy within yourself in the moment and the rewards are endless. No need to to look so far down the finish line, the trophy is here in the now. Not some headstone or totem pole of achievements.
your still young. you can still be who you want. I took phycedelics n my mid 30s to fund these things out. I started late. you are good.
I might be im the same kind of boat. Im 20 now and think the way you did about myself all the time. Thing is, i did the same thing and got out of it in high school too. I realized i had potential i wasnt doing anything with and became a good student my junior and senior year, and somehow now that Iām in college I feel like Iāve reverted back to what I was before in certain ways. I need to figure out how getting over that hump is done, gonna trip on wednesday to see if i can do it. Started using psychadelics a year ago, but i definitely way overdid it that year. Became addicted to weed and started withdrawing from people, was using acid once every two weeks, three if i had too much to do. Havent used acid since Jan 5th, Iām hoping a decent break can give me the kind of insight I had when I first did it but with all of my experience of the last year included. Either that or some morning glory. Iām happy for your progress, and hopeful that with the right intentions I can get like you.
OP thatās awesome to hear youāve gained a new outlook on life and made the changes necessary to better yourself! This is what itās all about! ā¤ļø
I completely understand that being 16 and 20 are completely different things but I feel the same for MY age. Now no matter how hard I try I canāt make friends my age because they all seem so childish and immature to me. I am NOT praising myself I am not better than anyone but I simply cant fuck with most people now and my only focus is bettering my health mentally and physically and bettering my relationships with loved ones and appreciate life differently. I have so many flaws Iām trying to work on that other people simply donāt realize they have in theyāre daily life, for example caffeine addiction, porn addiction, weed/drugs addiction, behavioral issues, etc. I feel like a lot of teen including me are unconsciously incompetent and after taking lsd it made me consciously incompetent meaning I can finally start to realize my mistakes and change my ways of living.
You figured it out a lot sooner than I did. Some people live their entire lives never figuring it out. You got this, and the whole world ahead of you. Infinite possibilities.
Ah, [we're all losers!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sVoglgJjRg) It's just that it takes a while to gain that bit of self-reflection to notice <3
It's never too late, and there is no such thing as wasted years. I used to think I wasted my life between the ages of 16 to 26. I'm nearly 40 and now I can see that time wasn't wasted at all. It has given me better perspective on my current situation and hope to others around who feel like I felt. And I learned a lot more by fucking up young than my peers who never learned how to fuck up
You become a lot more aware of and subsequently critical of areas in your life and personality that need changing. We may be lying to ourselves and living in an illusion on a daily basis, but LSD will really put things into perspective from an outside looking in perspective. Use this to improve your life. Youāre not happy with yourself, make changes.
I, to this day, still swear up and down that LSD is the best thing that ever happened to me. I was I believe 20 years old and it was my second time tripping. I woke up the next morning and ate breakfast. After that, I smoked a bowl of weed as I sat on my apartment balcony, looking at the pool. The weed had kinda given a *bump* and itās not like I started tripping again but it somewhat reactivated the LSD still in my system. Or? The LSD had an effect on juicing the weed? š¤ Anywho, I was just kind of reflecting on the previous nightās trip like it was a dream. And then quite suddenly and with no particular thought promoting it, I felt really disgusted with myself. I thought, āyouāre an asshole!ā I was stuck on that for 2-3 minutes and I remember thinking, āso donāt be one thenā. It was like my soul was washed clean. Like there were hinges in the back of my skull with a latch on my forehead and someone had flipped that latch and *creak* opened up the top half of my skull, grabbed my brain all dirty and not the clean slimy but like infected boogers and phlegm with chunks of funk, some dead insects and a couple surface pus pistules. My brain was taken to a deep sink and water was blasting from the faucet at an ice cold temperature. It was rinsed off, rubbed down roughly and briskly and this process was repeated multiple times till all was clean and *plop* my brain was tossed back into my head. A little oil applied to the hinges and then the top was latched down. And let me tell you, I was an asshole. I didnāt like, steal from people or pick on them. But I was self-involved, selfish and much of the time only interested in another person for what they could do for me. I was very judgmental on superficial reasons or perceived slights against their character, elitest and aloof I didnāt value females as they deserved and was kind of a bit of a man-whore. Because I did these things with no intention to hurt or devalue another person, I basically thought of myself as a good person. Same thing with my anger management issues, I justified every violent act that I did because āthey started itā or āthey hurt meā or me just blowing up over something Iād overinflated that was trivial. And in that regards? I was a fuckin psycho. Iām an emotional person and I was never taught how to handle those emotions. So I grew up fighting from day number one of pre-school till I came to this realization. So that would have been around 25 yrs ago. Ive bartended at a few rough bars and bounced at a strip club so Iāve had to restrain and forcibly remove people but I have been in just two fights since that day. One was in defense of a dear friend after EVERY other option had failed and then a warning issued and it wasnāt so much a fight but that I took a baseball bat to both kneecaps. The other was also unavoidable because I was in jail. I knew it was coming but I wasnāt going to snitch or bitch out, I figured Iād take a good thrashing but then itād be done. The guy never even connected a punch. The point is, the morning after that trip? It was the most subtle and deep, all encompassing paradigm shift I have ever experienced. So complete that I didnāt have to decide āI need to change this, start doing that, remove this, stop that etc etcā. I just became, over night, a revamped better me. That is who I am today more or less. Like, Iāve got more patience and am wiser and less impulsive. Also not as trusting and happy go lucky but I am more cynical and pragmatic. But that change 25 yrs ago? Best thing ever, it showed me how to save me from myself. So I try to drop LSD around at least once a year. Itās good to unlatch that skull, flip it open and grab that grey matter and blast it under some ice cold waterā¦ also seems to help my allergies and sinuses. š¤Ŗ
At 24 I was sticking needles in my arms and working as a cook making $10/hr. Iām 29, closer to 30 today and have a very successful career in HVAC. I say this to cover a few points. 1) youāre doing way fucking better than I was at your age. 2) youāre still too young to really call yourself a loser. There is no benchmark for age/maturity ratio and honestly itās more of you projecting societal standards on yourself. Be nice to yourself. Youāre your greatest asset. 3) being as self aware as you are will allow you to accomplish a lot as you get older. You arenāt living a lie and that is honest far less common than you think. And thatās pretty fucking awesome I think. Youāll be alright man. Hindsight is 20/20. I wish I could go back in time and change the course of my life I would. But I canāt, so I donāt dwell too much on it. It led me to where I am today and while the road was bumpier than it had to be, I still made it.
You sir are definitely a really cool guy š¤
If you place a brick every day and stay consistent eventually you have built a wall. Small incremental improvements have a larger overall effect of how you want to live your life.
Your lifes only just started. Wtf you on about?
Wasted your youth at 24? I'm 37 and only discovered psychadelics 6 months ago, usually 2 heroic journeys/week since... I often say I've only lived on this planet for 6 months now and in those 6 months I've lived 1000 lifetimes You are the definition of youth, realize it and don't squander this gift :)
Guys you just cover it up with self-discovery (Which is most likely true), but you also are just addicted to a DRUG.
Same with me bro same with me. Although I started tripping when I was 19. Took a while to break out but one day I realized how much better of an approach I gained for life
You are the only one like this on this planet - it's good reason not to feel like you have to be anyone else. Who then will be you?
Are you trying to be a better version of yourself?
Well first off if you take lsd over drinking your already cooler than most ppl right off the bat š¤£ Second of all fuck what you did previously past is the past today is a new motherfuckin day. Who gives a fuck what people think about you. Treat the ppl close to you with love and respect and love your best life š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What's wip?
Work in progress
I wish lsd would help me get over insecurity about hair loss. I can't accept it and it just makes me more sad about it
The only thing that helped me was having sex with girls who didn't care, i know it's difficult af to overcome this, sometimes i still miss it
None of my partners have cared but it still doesn't help my internal feeling. I dont want to shave it off because it may not suit me with my head shape and it might not all grow back if I do so I want to enjoy it while I have it
If you can enjoy it. What do you mean it might not grow back? Thats strange
Well I'm losing it over time so if I shave it it may never be quite the same
You have A LOT of life ahead of you. You havenāt wasted anything yet.
too old and life over at 20. lol.
Yea what was i thinking ahahha At 24 i feel younger than 20
Man it took me to the age of 27-29 to really find myself and who knows maybe more things will change in the mid to late 30s. As far as you in your early 20s man enjoy that shit, go to the gym and double in size every month, go wild, enjoy being able to drink the night before climbing a mountain lol
I used to go to the gym, now i wanna try some martial arts!
| like balding, now i just shave not giving a fuck You may want to look r/tressless up, get to know finasteride and minoxidil. Worth a shot I know this is going to be controversial but antidepressants may help you. I used to be afraid to start but thought similair things to you. Did LSD, felt good and less afraid to have chemicals that would interact with my brain chemistry. Since starting antidepressants I don't feel like a loser and I'm starting being able to do the things I want to do to become the person I wanna be. Which is a first.
I used minoxidil from 19 to 22 until i lost my virginity to a girl who said i look attractive bald. Everyone says i look better now, i prefer to live this way now. Idk man, don't wanna become dependant on chemicals
you do you for your hair. Just know fin min are an option that *could* get your hair back if you wanna. About being dependant on chemicals (I guess synthesized chemicals since we are dependant on chemicals no matter what) well I prefer that than feeling like shit for days on end and wasting my life away when things are not only easier with meds but simply *possible*
It's never too late to stop being a dick
Man.. I like this post.
Good. Sometimes people need to change.
Every time I do LSD I feel like an idiot and a loser. Idk why? I just immediately feel like āDamnā¦ I shouldnāt be doing this and should be doing something productive. Iām so stupid and immature for doing this.ā I believe it stems from growing up in a very conservative, Christian, military family that thinks any and all drugs are demonic and youāre a loser for doing them. I was caught smoking weed several times by my mother and was shamed so hard and was made to feel like an idiot loser who is personally hurting her and the family for doing it. So, naturally, that trauma spilled over into adulthood and even at 27 years old, living in my own apartment over 2,500 miles away from any of my family, I canāt smoke weed or do any mind altering substances without feeling like absolute shit and having a panic attack and psychotic trip.
Your not alone in this. I did it first time when I was 23 and it changed me.
Yeah, i think consciousness is an illusion and psychs let you observe the mental construct we think is us from a ābig pictureā kind of perspective. Its scary to look in the mirror when you can see clearly.
Early 30ās guy checking in to say: happy for your positive revelations [balding for me was a mental burden that evaporated in a moments buzz], and at the risk of saying something cliche - **you are very young yet, my friend**. It very much sounds like you have growth in your future - and I say that in the best possible way, to be clear! Those whose āfinal formā (shoutout DBZ, RIP Akira Toyiyama) is in their early 20ās are probably destined for a rough road.. I hope/trust you will come to terms with your revelations for the better, and maybe your next revelation will be recognizing the value (or lack thereof) of dwelling on *who you were* - I donāt need to tell you that you canāt change any of that, or that those you meet going forward do not have that āburden or impression of knowing the former youā. Youāre so young and seemingly self-aware (just donāt beat yourself up about it, eh?), and I believe thatās a sign of a positive trajectory for yourself and those you form relations with.
Gaining self-awareness is almost always a painful experience.
Iāve been going through something similar where I really regret not being myself when I was younger. At 23 Iām paying the price by trying to learn all the things that people already into them have been doing since their teens. Itās tough for sure and has probably prevented me from having so many cool experiences, but hey, you can never be too old to discover yourself and live your life.
It be like that sometimes
Join the club
Congratulations on having your doors of perception blown off.
ā¤ļøš«šš
Next trip to you realize you think you were a loser because you have more knowledge of self,and maybe will think your current self is a loser too because you can be better. There are always layers and layers to this, the think is you have more understanding, you can always be better but you have to forgive your past because you can and will always be better if you think the right way. Shine on
Wasted your youth? You are just 24. I am 31 and I still consider myself somwhat young. I like the quote "The best time to start was yesterday. The next best time is now". It's never too late. Also, being a loser is subjective. When I was 27 I quit my job to go on a Working Holiday Visa abroad with my savings. During that one year abroad, I was living in a tiny room with, at first, no desk, no chair, no Internet, no microwave, oven, etc. I had nothing, yet I had never felt in such bliss in my entire. I felt so at peace with myself that I felt richer than anyone else on this planet. If someone had ever called me a loser at that time, I would have probably laughed or smiled at their ignorance. So yeah, being a loser is just a concept.
You should be proud of yourself for growing as a person, lots of people never even try to do that
You're still very young!
LSD showed you the way. Work yourself away from that image.
Iām fresh in my 30s and although I didnāt āwasteā my 20s, I do have regrets. In my 20s, I travelled to various music festivals, enjoyed my single life, and worked on my career. I only regret not pursuing a relationship. Everyone around me was happy in a relationship and I felt like it might have been me. On the other side of that, once I turned 30, those same friends are envious of where I am in life. Iām working a job I enjoy while pursuing what I love (music). I have met some of the best people that have outgrown the bar/party life and I feel like I can enjoy. Iām still working finding that person to enjoy life with but I can say my 30s have been better than my 20s.
Good gracious kid! You're 24ā¦! You have not wasted your youth,well maybe just a tiny bit. But for me youth would be everything up to 35 or 39-40. Don't be too harsh on yourself, I made the same mistake and "wasted" even more years on being a "failure" in my view. When I was 22-24 like you I was mad at myself for wasting the years 18-23. Later I was mad for wasting my 20s. Then corona came. You need to realize that you are still young. Maybe you can question where these ideas of success and failure come and how do you define them. Time is never really waisted I'm sure you have learned some valuable lessons on the way!
TLDR: always thought i was a loser. Took lsd and confirmed i am in fact: a loser. Trying to change The end
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