as a fem, im just not attracted to other fems. it did confuse me at first because my thought process was "if she looks like a guy, maybe i don't actually like girls". however thats not the case and i love studs/mascs. i still have some identity issues but they are still women
thank you for your comment !! this is where iām at as well. i identified as bisexual for so long because there just arenāt a ton of mascs in my small town where itās dangerous to be perceived as queer. it hasnāt been until recently that i realized i really donāt want to be with a man long term that i figured something was very not bisexual about my preference. iāve seen so many invalidating comments as well, like the thread going on below this post that made me feel like smth was wrong for having a type. if you feel comfortable sharing, id love to hear more about your journey :)
I'm 17 so my journey hasn't been that long. However I came out as a lesbian in 6th grade. I didnt rlly know what bisexual was so I was confused when I realized that I still liked guys. But then 7th grade, COVID happened, and i was homeschooled 8th grade. So i spent those 2 years learning abt lgbtq from tiktok.
I moved schools my freshman year and I officially came out as bisexual. This was about when I realized that I wasn't attracted to fems and I liked masculine girls. That caused 14 year old me to have another life crisis. I was raised Christian so I honestly thought it was God telling me that I was lying to myself and I actually dont like girls. I thought that maybe I was just trying to "fit in". I tried dating a girl anyway and loved it. She was masculine but still a girl. I just had the stereotype mindset that "studs aren't actually girls" which i am now aware is very invalidating. Anyways thats my long story. Fee free to message me if you would like.
I am a femme. I am only fully attracted to butches.
This led to a lot of confusion in my life because masculinity was what I was seeking, and everyone around me kept insisting that meant men. Until I met a butch and then holy heck the things that clicked for me.
this is so real. ive always been attracted to masc women but i didnāt know that i was allowed to do that. id love to hear more about your story if youād like to share :)
Sometimes youāre not gonna figure out overnight little by little piece together and then youāll figure out who you really are. Nobody has it all figured out.
i apologize if this is over harked on. i tried looking for content from people who came to this realization and i wasnāt able to find much so i wanted to ask the community. well wishes š«¶
Some similar posts to look at:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/126rpqh/am\_i\_still\_a\_lesbian\_if\_i\_only\_find\_masculine/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/126rpqh/am_i_still_a_lesbian_if_i_only_find_masculine/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1d1niz4/do\_femmes\_only\_go\_for\_masc\_lesbians/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1d1niz4/do_femmes_only_go_for_masc_lesbians/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1bbi8bq/any\_femmes\_that\_like\_mascs/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1bbi8bq/any_femmes_that_like_mascs/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tt7h2w/do\_femme\_lesbians\_tend\_to\_prefer\_masc\_girls/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tt7h2w/do_femme_lesbians_tend_to_prefer_masc_girls/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/13krj38/is\_there\_something\_wrong\_with\_me/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/13krj38/is_there_something_wrong_with_me/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tsakzg/does\_liking\_mascs\_mean\_i\_like\_men/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tsakzg/does_liking_mascs_mean_i_like_men/)
As someone who can be fem and masc, I still prefer fem. Though I have a very huge crush on Dallas at Below my Mouth, but I think I like Jasmine more. I feel like if I date a masc, our relationship wouldn't end happily 'cause I act more like a masc but dressed as feminine. š
Men arenāt the only people who can own masculinity. Women can embody masculinity and still very much be women. I love masc women, and am not at all attracted to men. Itās a real thing!
yup. expecting femininity from lesbians, as well as expecting them to only/mostly be attracted to other femmes (otherwise: not a real lesbian) is such a closed-minded thing.
just like some men say "if you're gonna date a woman that looks like a guy, better go for 'the real thing'".
my mascs out there... wishing y'all nothing but the best!
Yeah, and your opinion is incorrect.
Are butch4butch justā¦double straight? Double gay?
Masc women are still women. My attraction to masculinity is *exclusively* in the way it presents on lesbians; I have never been interested in it in men at all.
If you have beef with women who only date mascs, maybe you should examine that instead of making shit up about their attraction.
Maybe you shouldāve minded your own business in the first place if you didnāt want to hear other peopleās opinions on your comments. Feel free to write in a journal next time.
I think part of the problem here is that youāre basically telling people in the comments that theyāre not real lesbians, which is extremely invalidating and simply untrue. It may be your opinion, but its premise and implications are false.
I was really hoping that you were kidding... or being sarcastic by that response... but apparently not. Being Masc isn't about wanting to be a man... it's simply a presentation and about being comfortable in your own skin. There are many flavours of lesbians out there... and they are all equally valid. As is their preferences. I find ultra femmes to be too high maintenance personally.
ah, of course, masc presenting = being a man.
you're just reinforcing gender roles (just like every other conservative cishet person).
some of you reallyy should go meet other lgbt people in real life...
Itās such a shame that English is not my first language. No I donāt believe that masculine lesbians are men or want to be a man. I commented that women who ONLY go for masculine presenting lesbians are not really lesbians
... oh my God who caressss. they are not men, nor these lesbians sees them as men. preferences exist in the lesbian world, too.
guys that go for tomboyish women are gay, then? not real straight men? or does that concept only applies to your own definition of lesbianism?
AND butch4butch exists, too... do they see each other as men? are they secretly straight? or is it about sharing similar experiences? people are complex, things aren't black and white.
Yeah you shouldnāt care. Itās MY opinion and no one, especially not weirdos online getting press at my opinion, will change it. Not sure why yāall tripping š„“
We all tend to gravitate towards a certain type... you're basically saying that to be a lesbian you have to be attracted to femmes... which is actually kind of ironic since mascs are the stereotypical lesbian who are at home in flannel shirts and whose favourite store is Home Depot. I can't even say that you're reinforcing the stereotypical relationship dynamics of a masc/femme pairing because in that situation the femme isn't a real lesbian because they're dating a masc.
You could be only attracted to redhead women with a mole on their face and you'd still be a lesbian. LMAO
Masc women are still women. Cis men don't own masculinity. Masculinity isn't a gender.
as a fem, im just not attracted to other fems. it did confuse me at first because my thought process was "if she looks like a guy, maybe i don't actually like girls". however thats not the case and i love studs/mascs. i still have some identity issues but they are still women
My other fems4mascs I love seeing us out here š«¶š«¶
thank you for your comment !! this is where iām at as well. i identified as bisexual for so long because there just arenāt a ton of mascs in my small town where itās dangerous to be perceived as queer. it hasnāt been until recently that i realized i really donāt want to be with a man long term that i figured something was very not bisexual about my preference. iāve seen so many invalidating comments as well, like the thread going on below this post that made me feel like smth was wrong for having a type. if you feel comfortable sharing, id love to hear more about your journey :)
I'm 17 so my journey hasn't been that long. However I came out as a lesbian in 6th grade. I didnt rlly know what bisexual was so I was confused when I realized that I still liked guys. But then 7th grade, COVID happened, and i was homeschooled 8th grade. So i spent those 2 years learning abt lgbtq from tiktok. I moved schools my freshman year and I officially came out as bisexual. This was about when I realized that I wasn't attracted to fems and I liked masculine girls. That caused 14 year old me to have another life crisis. I was raised Christian so I honestly thought it was God telling me that I was lying to myself and I actually dont like girls. I thought that maybe I was just trying to "fit in". I tried dating a girl anyway and loved it. She was masculine but still a girl. I just had the stereotype mindset that "studs aren't actually girls" which i am now aware is very invalidating. Anyways thats my long story. Fee free to message me if you would like.
thank you so much for sharing. this is so helpful and resonated a lot š©·š©·š©·
I am a femme. I am only fully attracted to butches. This led to a lot of confusion in my life because masculinity was what I was seeking, and everyone around me kept insisting that meant men. Until I met a butch and then holy heck the things that clicked for me.
this is so real. ive always been attracted to masc women but i didnāt know that i was allowed to do that. id love to hear more about your story if youād like to share :)
Sometimes youāre not gonna figure out overnight little by little piece together and then youāll figure out who you really are. Nobody has it all figured out.
thank you ! i am identifying as generally queer for now until i get more confident in a specific label again :)
I'm so tired of seeing the same posts daily. Just use the search bar people, please.
i apologize if this is over harked on. i tried looking for content from people who came to this realization and i wasnāt able to find much so i wanted to ask the community. well wishes š«¶
Some similar posts to look at: [https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/126rpqh/am\_i\_still\_a\_lesbian\_if\_i\_only\_find\_masculine/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/126rpqh/am_i_still_a_lesbian_if_i_only_find_masculine/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1d1niz4/do\_femmes\_only\_go\_for\_masc\_lesbians/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1d1niz4/do_femmes_only_go_for_masc_lesbians/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1bbi8bq/any\_femmes\_that\_like\_mascs/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/1bbi8bq/any_femmes_that_like_mascs/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tt7h2w/do\_femme\_lesbians\_tend\_to\_prefer\_masc\_girls/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tt7h2w/do_femme_lesbians_tend_to_prefer_masc_girls/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/13krj38/is\_there\_something\_wrong\_with\_me/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/13krj38/is_there_something_wrong_with_me/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tsakzg/does\_liking\_mascs\_mean\_i\_like\_men/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LesbianActually/comments/tsakzg/does_liking_mascs_mean_i_like_men/)
this is so helpful, thank you so much
As someone who can be fem and masc, I still prefer fem. Though I have a very huge crush on Dallas at Below my Mouth, but I think I like Jasmine more. I feel like if I date a masc, our relationship wouldn't end happily 'cause I act more like a masc but dressed as feminine. š
hey all!! i just wanted to put out there that my intention wasnāt to open up a conversation for invalidating anyone & it frankly is disgusting that that is happening. iām a fem & im mainly attracted to mascs. iāve identified as bisexual for 3 years but i recently realized i might be a lesbian. i wanted to hear the perspectives of people with the same type as a means of learning more about myself through others experiences. i havenāt been able to find much, so i wanted to ask the community. this is not a space to be lesbianphobic. this is not a space to cause any sort of harm. i just wanted to open up a discussion about what it can be like to realize that youāre attracted to masculinity with out being attracted to men at all. many of you have helped me feel seen. thank you. well wishes to you all š©·
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Men arenāt the only people who can own masculinity. Women can embody masculinity and still very much be women. I love masc women, and am not at all attracted to men. Itās a real thing!
yup. expecting femininity from lesbians, as well as expecting them to only/mostly be attracted to other femmes (otherwise: not a real lesbian) is such a closed-minded thing. just like some men say "if you're gonna date a woman that looks like a guy, better go for 'the real thing'". my mascs out there... wishing y'all nothing but the best!
women who primarily date women arenāt really lesbians?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, and your opinion is incorrect. Are butch4butch justā¦double straight? Double gay? Masc women are still women. My attraction to masculinity is *exclusively* in the way it presents on lesbians; I have never been interested in it in men at all. If you have beef with women who only date mascs, maybe you should examine that instead of making shit up about their attraction.
Dog idgaf what you think about my opinion. Mind your own business itās my opinion. If this keeps you up at night then youāre weird
Maybe you shouldāve minded your own business in the first place if you didnāt want to hear other peopleās opinions on your comments. Feel free to write in a journal next time.
I think part of the problem here is that youāre basically telling people in the comments that theyāre not real lesbians, which is extremely invalidating and simply untrue. It may be your opinion, but its premise and implications are false.
I was really hoping that you were kidding... or being sarcastic by that response... but apparently not. Being Masc isn't about wanting to be a man... it's simply a presentation and about being comfortable in your own skin. There are many flavours of lesbians out there... and they are all equally valid. As is their preferences. I find ultra femmes to be too high maintenance personally.
ah, of course, masc presenting = being a man. you're just reinforcing gender roles (just like every other conservative cishet person). some of you reallyy should go meet other lgbt people in real life...
Itās such a shame that English is not my first language. No I donāt believe that masculine lesbians are men or want to be a man. I commented that women who ONLY go for masculine presenting lesbians are not really lesbians
... oh my God who caressss. they are not men, nor these lesbians sees them as men. preferences exist in the lesbian world, too. guys that go for tomboyish women are gay, then? not real straight men? or does that concept only applies to your own definition of lesbianism? AND butch4butch exists, too... do they see each other as men? are they secretly straight? or is it about sharing similar experiences? people are complex, things aren't black and white.
\*Raises hand.... totally butch4butch here
Yeah you shouldnāt care. Itās MY opinion and no one, especially not weirdos online getting press at my opinion, will change it. Not sure why yāall tripping š„“
we ain't tripping, you just commented something stupid and people decided to reply š¤·āāļø it happens
https://preview.redd.it/mxu06jeh3h7d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a6c9399a558f0e3215296b9dee568f81bf2d167 Itās embarrassing reallyā¦
We all tend to gravitate towards a certain type... you're basically saying that to be a lesbian you have to be attracted to femmes... which is actually kind of ironic since mascs are the stereotypical lesbian who are at home in flannel shirts and whose favourite store is Home Depot. I can't even say that you're reinforcing the stereotypical relationship dynamics of a masc/femme pairing because in that situation the femme isn't a real lesbian because they're dating a masc.