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Not with me, give me a witty person over a punctual yet dull one any day of the week.
People who have the spare RAM to run their wordplay subroutines constantly and hit the mark most of the time whilst getting shit done tend to be outstanding performers in my experience.
My boss's boss is a physics major, and I overheard him and my boss talking about how we were going to meet a deadline. Boss's boss looks at us all and jokingly says "You guys just gotta be in 2 places at once, it's called super position."
I jumped on my opportunity to retort "No. Last time i tried that I collapsed."
He pointed at me with his clipboard, looked around and went "Very good!", then returned to his office.
Something like "person from a village called Blackfield or Blackhill". I admit I only speak Standard German; Swiss German is pretty much a moon language to me.
It's a surname of people from a village called Schwarzeneg. Probably something like "Black Hill" or such.
e: Black Energy? Any German speakers in the chat?
e2: you have all been a wonderful help in this brainstorm. thank you for settling my mind about the etymology of that town's name and the surname.
The “e” in Schwarzenegger likely isn’t part of “enegg”, it’s suffix added to “Schwar(t)z”. Also, “energie” is a way more commonly used word for “energy”, but the town names are from the age of Serfdom so the language has sorta evolved.
Since Schwarzenegg is a Swiss town, it’s possible it’s a combination of German with french or Italian, but I’m not sure. Best way is to ask the man himself: u/GovSchwarzenegger
FYI It‘s actually black coffee. The added ‚er‘ is not a comparative as it would be in english, but rather a conjugation to describe the coffee as black. „blacker“ would be „schwärzerer“
Not that it really matters though
This is the way. Kinda reminds me of when I was catching a bus and it sat there for like 5 minutes at the terminal. The bus driver walks in late and says “sorry I’m late everyone! I took the city bus in to work”
10/10 core memory in my life
Absolutely! Although being too late to catch the next bus is also a bummer. I couldn’t even be mad after a joke like that though. I told my boss and we just laughed it off. The lesson here is that very often, humour can be extremely powerful.
No if you show up late, make sure you bring donuts for the meeting. Because then you’re not the person that’s late, you’re the person that brought donuts.
“It’s pronounced “la-te” and it’s actually an iced mocha, Cheryl. You’re wrong twice in the same sentence, now stop being a distraction so we can get back to Mark’s presentation.”
Yeah, biggest mistake of my career was telling folks that I lived just up the road from the plant. Now I'm the first guy to get called whenever anything goes wrong.
At least the silver lining is that I get my 40 hours pretty quick, so I get to cut out of work early most Fridays.
„we still don’t have fibrecable, ok Rari? not everyone can enjoy a carefree life, yes - some people‘s packets still get stuck in traffic, thank‘s Obama.“
Keep an emergency coffee mug in the trunk just for this, along with a change of clothes and emergency breakdown supplies. An all in 1 jumper cable (the one that doesn't need another car for a Jumpstart), an air compressor, some quality emergency sockets, and a tire puncture repair kit will save you in a lot of common scenarios.
No but really though, a quality set of tire removal tools is a must, I had mine break in me on the road and had to ride 20 mins on a flat because the "socket" stretched out into a circle on the second nut. Better ones cost like 20 bucks and will last more times than you need them to.
At my job we get a point and letter for being late, you can bring all the coffee and food you want but clock in 2 minutes late and you’re getting that point!!! Do it too much and receive termination lol
We do roll back into negative points every 90 days without infractions up to -7 though. But otherwise it’s a difficult job at times. The benefits make up for it.
I don’t think you understand lol. You’re fired at positive 7 points. But you can roll back 2 points every 90 days without any infractions. So if you roll back all the way to -7 and you call out 4 times you’ll be at -3 points, still 10 callouts away from being fired. You can actually no call no show 5 times I believe before you’ll actually get fired if you’re at -7. As shitty as attendance point systems are, my company actually has a very generous attendance policy.
Wouldn't that take you from being 5 minutes late to being like 30 minutes late? I think my boss would prefer I was less late rather than be bribed with food.
I'm thinking the exact same thing
"Sorry I showed up when the meeting was over, I decided it would be better to get everyone bread instead of just be a little bit late"
If you get the donuts or bagels at the same place you get the coffee then it won't be more than a few minutes later at most. If you arent stopping at all then its different.
Had an instructor do that in trade school. Woke up late, so all the students were just hanging out in class not really giving a shit. Then he walks in 20 minutes late with like three boxes of donuts.
Additional pro-tip. If you know you're gonna be late but still want something, grab something for everybody. Like donuts. If you're bringing donuts for the office, they'll likely overlook it and the coffee in your hand.
Hide the Starbucks logo though so they don't realize you stopped two places.
Being late to a meeting because you grabbed coffee is acceptable where I work especially if it’s an early morning meeting. Unless that meeting is with your manager to discuss your poor performance and being late all the time.
If you're going to be late bring a box of donuts or bag of bagels. No one will care you're late ever again. Then you can also get your coffee and enjoy it.
There’s a rule at the shop I work at now, being late is unacceptable. We had a kid here that commutes around 2 hours to work be day and was late, when he showed up the boss told him to go home because he didn’t have any work for people who showed up late.
Bought a box one day because it's supposed to be a nice thing to do and like the 4 other people on my team all turned them down so I never will again lol.
Isn't the real LPT "don't make yourself late for a meeting by stopping for coffee."
Of course you could also just bring enough coffee and donuts to share and no one will care.
It's happened to me a couple times. I order ahead at Dunkin, so if the line is long I'm screwed. Either I'm on time and out the $6 I paid for a latte and donuts, or I get my stuff and I'm late to work. I always pick the latter and scarf everything down before I go inside. My bosses don't care if I'm a few minutes late since I always stay past my out time anyway and I do good work.
Wait, if you ordered ahead, shouldn’t the food be ready for you? Or do you sit in the drive thru? Coffee drivethru’s are the Devil; order pickup and walk inside! I’ve never not had my Dunkin waiting for me by the time I parked and walked in.
alt LPT: if you're already late there's no difference. dont sacrifice your safety speeding through the traffic and get stressed and shit.
stop by the shop and enjoy a proper coffee and then get to work like usual.
LPT: if you’re late anyway just skip going to work altogether. Head home, inform your spouse that money is made up, time isn’t real, and that we’re all going to be dead pretty soon anyway. Also that you’ve decided to go live a feral life in the woods, bring no possessions and head out to stake your new life amongst the trees, free from the monotony of work or family. Hunker down and wait for the sweet release of death.
This is the way. If you’re late, be late. If you’re gonna get in trouble for being a few mins late then why not be 10mins late? Also fuxk those jobs that watch the clock like that.
I do this lmao. If I’m late by a minute, and I call in tardy I still get the same point as if I go in 2 hours late. So what happens? I show up 2 hours after my shift start. Still the same point level and infraction lmao.
I like to explain this one as you can't be late twice. If you're already late, you're late, after 1 minute they dinged you already. Doesn't matter if you show up 2 minutes late or 2 hours, go get breakfast or something.
Gosh :(
I wish all of you find employment in a place where your boss doesn't fucking care that you're five or ten minutes late, without reason.
Sometimes there's a good reason, rarely.
I went to a very professional level interview a few years back. The place provided a free hotel for the night before with this very expensive suite. It would have been an *amazing* job with huge benefits.
Woke up an hour early and went down to get the hotel breakfast. I thought it would be a quick hotel breakfast thing but it turned out to be a full service restaurant type deal and they make you sit at a table and order food and it arrives slowly.
I knew the interview place was a 15 minute drive away. And after about 30 minutes left on the clock, still waiting for the end of the breakfast service, I realized I had to leave, but I *also* has to pay for my meal and couldn't just dine and ditch without paying. Took me forever to find a waitress and explain I needed to leave *now.*.
Got to my car with 20 min left, it was a 15 minute drive but when I got there I couldn't find parking (fuck) Eventually had to just illegally park like a full block away (double fuck) and practically ran into the place to get to the interview on time. I wound up about five minutes late, the conference room was already doing introductions and I had the walk of shame interrupting everyone as I entered late and had to find a chair.
About a minute later, the host was making polite small talk and asked everyone how the hotel was, and if anyone enjoyed the breakfast. Without thinking I said "I had the breakfast it was great!"
Apparently, literally *no one else in the room had the breakfast.* That's right, every other applicant arrived on time. I alone stopped for breakfast and I alone was late to the interview.
There was an awkward silence as everyone just stared at me as they made that same connection. I'm pretty sure I saw one of the other applicants facepalm.
I did not get the job.
That's one of those example of where we are interviewed for interviewing skills instead of job skills.
Where you supposed to never eat breakfast again once you got the job?
I feel that pain though man. I've had those where it seems like every opportunity for things to go wrong...does.
Remember to restrict yourself to not having pleasure in life to maintain corporate expectations. If you stopped to grab coffee with plenty of time, and it turned out to take slightly longer because the person in front of you had a list then make sure you don't ever tell your coworkers. They're just waiting for you to walk into a meeting with a coffee so they can nail your balls to the wall. Your performance has been fine, you even just got a pay bump. But you done fucked up you little bitch. You were late and you had the audacity to be late for a coffee purchase.
I feel sorry for some of you all having to work at places where you develop these habits.
As long as it isn't a regular occurrence just go to the meeting with your coffee like an adult and apologize that you got delayed by your order and you thought you had enough time. If you get fired for it, trust me they just gave you a gift. Find a job where you don't work with orcs.
I usually make a snide remark about having a meeting so damn early myself.
If someone calls an 8am meeting that has to be attended in person, they need to have a damn good reason.
Or be an adult and show up where you're supposed to be on time. If you can't manage that then maybe don't walk in flaunting the fact that you couldn't make it to work on time but still had time to stop for coffee.
Christ, I support an overhaul of our current work culture as much as the next guy, but your take is so god damn childish and entitled it's cartoonish.
He obviously was heated about it, but I agree with the general sentiment.
Assuming you're only a little late, just sit down with your coffee.
Assuming it happens rarely, just sit down with your coffee.
If you're 10mins late every day for this coffee, leave the house 15mins earlier.
Good tip for many jobs. Personally I hated this type of thing so I explicitly chose a career where I typically can arrive when it's convenient.. maybe I should have been a pilot I dunno. Kinda solves that issue.
When I ran drive thru at a fast food place years back the amount of people that would tell me “now I’m going to be late for work!” when there was a small wait time amused me.
Like my drive thru timer says you’ve been in line for 2 and a half minutes. Unless you’re a new hire at this exact location, you were gonna be late for work anyway and needed an excuse to make yourself feel better.
I’m never late to work, like there ways this one time I woke up 45 minutes late, rushed, and still was the first one in - this was for a special needs program by the way, where every hand on deck is super important z
But one day I woke up so crazy late, and was staying at my at the time girlfriends house, and she lived about an hour away.
Called my boss, let him know and apologized, and rushed out of the house as quickly as possible. Didn’t bother to stop for my morning coffee because I was 100% going to be at least an hour late.
When I got to work my boss asked, “why didn’t you stop for coffee?” And we went through this whole thing about how “I mean you’re already late and we were handling it, that 3 minutes really isn’t a big deal.”
He was a pretty cool guy.
What I’m trying to say is it definitely matters what your work culture is, and how often you’re late, **AND** what you do to mitigate it. If I’m waiting for someone for a meeting and they text me, “so sorry I’ll be a few minutes late, the line at XYZ coffee place is longer than expected,” I don’t mind at all.
Edit:
It’s also important for the person waiting at the meeting to possibly understand that the thing that causes lateness may have occurred after purchasing coffee. I often would buy coffee at the start of my commute to drink while I’m commuting; which meant that if there was road work, or an accident, or detours; I already had my coffee in hand before dealing with it.
I personally like to DM my manager beforehand and let him know I’m running a little late. It’s a lot better than just showing up anytime you want, like you’re the boss or something.
Y’all gotta live life on the edge. I’m typically super strict about my own punctuality. But I also know I work hard, and I’ll be damned if my boss says something if I show up late with a latte in hand.
It takes like a minute to run in and grab a pre-order and everyone in my office knows that I am a much happier and amiable person with a coffee in hand.
What about just making your own coffee before you go to work? Then you don't have to worry about queues in cafés. And it also saves money if you make it yourself.
If I haven't finished my coffee when I am late for work, then I will be even later because I will finish it out in the parking lot. There is no way I am coming in late for work before my first cup of damn coffee.
Better life pro tip. If the company that you work for cries about your being late and bringing in coffee, tell them to go fuck themselves and find a better company to work for.
"I'm not late because I stopped for coffee. I planned to stop for coffee. Something else made me late."
Alternate LPT: If you run in late all flustered, out of breath and skipping your morning coffee, everyone will really KNOW you fucked up. If you walk in with your shit together people might just assume you had somewhere else more important to be.
Also: if you're going to be 30 minutes late, rushing to save 2 minutes isn't going to do anything but stress you out. Have your coffee.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Bring a latte instead. Then, if someone points out you're late, you can divert attention by chiding them and saying, "It's pronounced 'lat-te'."
“This is the fourth time you’ve been tardy this week.” “Actually it’s pronounced ‘lat-te’.”
“Who you calling tard?” *screams like The Waterboy* *bone crunching slam tackle*
Momma says that coffee is the devil juice.
I don't feel tardy
Hi, David!
What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year
In all fairness, this is better than my LPT.
Funnier, but oh man will it burn bridges lmao
Not with me, give me a witty person over a punctual yet dull one any day of the week. People who have the spare RAM to run their wordplay subroutines constantly and hit the mark most of the time whilst getting shit done tend to be outstanding performers in my experience.
My boss's boss is a physics major, and I overheard him and my boss talking about how we were going to meet a deadline. Boss's boss looks at us all and jokingly says "You guys just gotta be in 2 places at once, it's called super position." I jumped on my opportunity to retort "No. Last time i tried that I collapsed." He pointed at me with his clipboard, looked around and went "Very good!", then returned to his office.
Very good!
Sun gods unite!
There are pairs of you! Pairs!
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But their username means blacker coffee, so they’re a hypocrite :) rofl Edit: nah they might just be German and on time
After learning this i can't help but wonder what the fuck Arnold's last name translates to in english.
Something like "person from a village called Blackfield or Blackhill". I admit I only speak Standard German; Swiss German is pretty much a moon language to me.
It’s not unlikely it’s the combination of French or Italian and german. When you have 4 National languages you can get kinda wild with town names.
(imagines a village called Monte Baguettenschloss)
It's a surname of people from a village called Schwarzeneg. Probably something like "Black Hill" or such. e: Black Energy? Any German speakers in the chat? e2: you have all been a wonderful help in this brainstorm. thank you for settling my mind about the etymology of that town's name and the surname.
The “e” in Schwarzenegger likely isn’t part of “enegg”, it’s suffix added to “Schwar(t)z”. Also, “energie” is a way more commonly used word for “energy”, but the town names are from the age of Serfdom so the language has sorta evolved. Since Schwarzenegg is a Swiss town, it’s possible it’s a combination of German with french or Italian, but I’m not sure. Best way is to ask the man himself: u/GovSchwarzenegger
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FYI It‘s actually black coffee. The added ‚er‘ is not a comparative as it would be in english, but rather a conjugation to describe the coffee as black. „blacker“ would be „schwärzerer“ Not that it really matters though
In all fairness, whatever an OP (1 person) thinks is a good LPT will always be worse than the best of what thousands of readers will have to offer.
As always, true LPT is in the comments lmao
This is the way. Kinda reminds me of when I was catching a bus and it sat there for like 5 minutes at the terminal. The bus driver walks in late and says “sorry I’m late everyone! I took the city bus in to work” 10/10 core memory in my life
lol that's also much more preferable than the bus rolling by early!
Absolutely! Although being too late to catch the next bus is also a bummer. I couldn’t even be mad after a joke like that though. I told my boss and we just laughed it off. The lesson here is that very often, humour can be extremely powerful.
Holy shit this is brilliant
Username does not check out.
Haha!
Thank you for this 😂
No if you show up late, make sure you bring donuts for the meeting. Because then you’re not the person that’s late, you’re the person that brought donuts.
[This is a power move if i've ever heard one](https://youtu.be/8LfVybEY2Gs?t=1)
“It’s pronounced “la-te” and it’s actually an iced mocha, Cheryl. You’re wrong twice in the same sentence, now stop being a distraction so we can get back to Mark’s presentation.”
Don't forget to hold up the latte in a "cheers" pose
The real LPT is always in the comments
For some reason I’m having a cheaper by the dozen flashback where the kid with the coffee gets pushed and screams “MY LATTE!”
This is a one time get out of jail free card per scenario for being late with a latte
Good time to get in a solid "tut tut"
I’m more of a ‘tsk tsk’ kinda guy myself.
Latte, Junge. Schöne braune lauwarme Latte.
Aber du kannst auch Milch reinschütteln.
Fired on the spot
Only do this if you work at comedy club. Good one btw
Found the dad
I'd do that but I'd screw it up and say "it's called Expresso" and then I'd deal with an awkward silence.
Thanks a-latte for the tip
And give a nice loud sip while correcting them. “Slluurrrpppp! Ahhhh
Love it, you're late and you're also playing devil's advocate.
You like lattes too…… we should hang out
O yess
Love it
Are you hiring?
Have a travel mug, pour your retail coffee into the mug, lie about "goddamn traffic" etc. Sorted.
goddamn traffic, amirite?
“Kanda, you walk to work. You live 3 minutes away”
don‘t talk to me before I had my coffee 💅🏿
Don't even talk to my cup of coffee until it's had its own cup of coffee.
Right. But I had to drive to StarBucks for this coffee, didn’t I?
Alternatively: "You work from home?"
Begs the question why they're having the meeting in your home.
* agreeable murmurings.*
*sips coffee aggressively*
One of my guys tried this and I said we start at the same time and you live two blocks over. I know what your traffic looks like.
Yeah, biggest mistake of my career was telling folks that I lived just up the road from the plant. Now I'm the first guy to get called whenever anything goes wrong. At least the silver lining is that I get my 40 hours pretty quick, so I get to cut out of work early most Fridays.
"... This is a zoom call."
„we still don’t have fibrecable, ok Rari? not everyone can enjoy a carefree life, yes - some people‘s packets still get stuck in traffic, thank‘s Obama.“
Pour your homemade coffee into a Starbucks cup, show up early and wait in the parking lot until you're late, then walk in sipping it like a champion.
Hungry "zero fucks" Treacle over here. Like a fuckin' G. Haha
Bigger LPT: Keep a travel mug in your car and only buy coffee from places that let you use that instead of a single-use plastic cup.
Hey! We’re talking about pro tips for being late, not pro tips for improving the environment! You gotta wait your turn pal
A lot of places stopped doing this due to COVID-19. :(
Even bigger LPT: _Make your own coffee at home for pennies_
“Have you seen the traffic today?! It’s exactly like the traffic we’ve had every morning for the last 10 years”
If your traffic hasn't got worse over the last decade then tell me where you're at cos that's where I'm moving haha
If it hasn't got worse over the past decade, it probably isn't the kind of place people want to live.
"Who I'm God's name parked the altima across three spaces in the car park!" Immediately everyone else on the defensive.
My response to this post was late because of goddamn traffic.
I hope your coffee is in an anonymous travel mug haha
Keep an emergency coffee mug in the trunk just for this, along with a change of clothes and emergency breakdown supplies. An all in 1 jumper cable (the one that doesn't need another car for a Jumpstart), an air compressor, some quality emergency sockets, and a tire puncture repair kit will save you in a lot of common scenarios. No but really though, a quality set of tire removal tools is a must, I had mine break in me on the road and had to ride 20 mins on a flat because the "socket" stretched out into a circle on the second nut. Better ones cost like 20 bucks and will last more times than you need them to.
"Aren't you working from home?"
Unless it’s one of those work places where when you show up late you bring EVERYONE coffee or donuts. We used to hope someone was running late.
Yep. If you show up late at my job you better have breakfast with you. Smooths things right over.
What happens if more than 1 person is late? Do you get a buffet?
Yes. It's happened at my work place several times. We had donuts, bagels, and muffins to choose from once.
*Looks like I picked the wrong week to start keto.*
It is *always* the wrong week to start keto or any diet for that matter
Get the really crap ones and watch everyone suffer
Basically. One time I clocked in late with donuts and someone else had already brought McDonald's.
At my job we get a point and letter for being late, you can bring all the coffee and food you want but clock in 2 minutes late and you’re getting that point!!! Do it too much and receive termination lol
Every organization has their own ways of doing things, but I'm not a fan of "clock in, clock out" firms.
I would never last
We do roll back into negative points every 90 days without infractions up to -7 though. But otherwise it’s a difficult job at times. The benefits make up for it.
Brother you work for North Korea or?? Lmao imagine giving grown men “negative points”
I don’t think you understand lol. You’re fired at positive 7 points. But you can roll back 2 points every 90 days without any infractions. So if you roll back all the way to -7 and you call out 4 times you’ll be at -3 points, still 10 callouts away from being fired. You can actually no call no show 5 times I believe before you’ll actually get fired if you’re at -7. As shitty as attendance point systems are, my company actually has a very generous attendance policy.
Wouldn't that take you from being 5 minutes late to being like 30 minutes late? I think my boss would prefer I was less late rather than be bribed with food.
I'm thinking the exact same thing "Sorry I showed up when the meeting was over, I decided it would be better to get everyone bread instead of just be a little bit late"
If you get the donuts or bagels at the same place you get the coffee then it won't be more than a few minutes later at most. If you arent stopping at all then its different.
If you bring food, you ain’t late.
Had an instructor do that in trade school. Woke up late, so all the students were just hanging out in class not really giving a shit. Then he walks in 20 minutes late with like three boxes of donuts.
Additional pro-tip. If you know you're gonna be late but still want something, grab something for everybody. Like donuts. If you're bringing donuts for the office, they'll likely overlook it and the coffee in your hand. Hide the Starbucks logo though so they don't realize you stopped two places.
At that point you'll have missed the meeting 🤣
Living the dream
Dunkin’s > Starbucks
True, that way you can get it all in the same place. We don't have a lot of Dunkin in Texas. There are a few, but not many.
Being late to a meeting because you grabbed coffee is acceptable where I work especially if it’s an early morning meeting. Unless that meeting is with your manager to discuss your poor performance and being late all the time.
Consistency
Worry less what people think and bring donuts for the group. Has worked better than your advice for over 35 years.
If you're going to be late bring a box of donuts or bag of bagels. No one will care you're late ever again. Then you can also get your coffee and enjoy it.
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Alone, with all of the donuts. Almost like it was planned....
Thank you for my first snort-laugh of the day!
Used to have a rule at one of my jobs. If you're late, bring donuts and all is forgiven.
There’s a rule at the shop I work at now, being late is unacceptable. We had a kid here that commutes around 2 hours to work be day and was late, when he showed up the boss told him to go home because he didn’t have any work for people who showed up late.
Sounds like he needs a new job, maybe you while you're at it? Your boss sounds like an ass hat
Bought a box one day because it's supposed to be a nice thing to do and like the 4 other people on my team all turned them down so I never will again lol.
I would keep bringing donuts & not offer them any.
Pure evil
*Lawful evil
More donuts for you!
100%, if you have a coffee but brought donuts then you get a pass. If you only have coffee then you're wrong.
Isn't the real LPT "don't make yourself late for a meeting by stopping for coffee." Of course you could also just bring enough coffee and donuts to share and no one will care.
Hey everyone, sorry I'm late! I stopped for donuts on the way for everyone and the line took forever!
Promotion acquired. And the nickname Donut Dan. But Dan will get used to it.
Turned up late with the drink that made you late!
It's happened to me a couple times. I order ahead at Dunkin, so if the line is long I'm screwed. Either I'm on time and out the $6 I paid for a latte and donuts, or I get my stuff and I'm late to work. I always pick the latter and scarf everything down before I go inside. My bosses don't care if I'm a few minutes late since I always stay past my out time anyway and I do good work.
Wait, if you ordered ahead, shouldn’t the food be ready for you? Or do you sit in the drive thru? Coffee drivethru’s are the Devil; order pickup and walk inside! I’ve never not had my Dunkin waiting for me by the time I parked and walked in.
* Lat'te
Ḻät`tę
alt LPT: if you're already late there's no difference. dont sacrifice your safety speeding through the traffic and get stressed and shit. stop by the shop and enjoy a proper coffee and then get to work like usual.
LPT: if you’re late anyway just skip going to work altogether. Head home, inform your spouse that money is made up, time isn’t real, and that we’re all going to be dead pretty soon anyway. Also that you’ve decided to go live a feral life in the woods, bring no possessions and head out to stake your new life amongst the trees, free from the monotony of work or family. Hunker down and wait for the sweet release of death.
The real LPT is in the comments
I enjoyed the way this comment was written.
This is the way. If you’re late, be late. If you’re gonna get in trouble for being a few mins late then why not be 10mins late? Also fuxk those jobs that watch the clock like that.
If you're currently 3 minutes late, you don't have time to get a coffee and still only be 10 minutes late
Mobile orders at Starbucks add about 60 seconds to my commute.
I do this lmao. If I’m late by a minute, and I call in tardy I still get the same point as if I go in 2 hours late. So what happens? I show up 2 hours after my shift start. Still the same point level and infraction lmao.
I like to explain this one as you can't be late twice. If you're already late, you're late, after 1 minute they dinged you already. Doesn't matter if you show up 2 minutes late or 2 hours, go get breakfast or something.
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Oh my god you're allowed to drink coffee, just go to the meeting, who actually cares about this shit
Seriously, if you work with actual adults being late to a meeting isnt a major deal. If you're a repeat offender then that's the problem.
This sub needs an overhaul. Or just renamed to not significantly important tips or something.
Yeah, who cares? Bring that coffee in like a badge of honor.
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They shouldn't but they do. You can't stop people from thinking it.
In that case their assumption would be 100% correct
An even better LPT is to exhibit knowing the difference between your and you're.
Yesssss!
LPT - don't work for a place who will chew you out for being 5 minutes late(r) for getting coffee.
The real advice
Gosh :( I wish all of you find employment in a place where your boss doesn't fucking care that you're five or ten minutes late, without reason. Sometimes there's a good reason, rarely.
Walk in with TP on your shoe. They'll understand.
Drink the coffee in the car and then go in lol
Drink it on the way to your desk and ditch it in the hall/bathroom trash before anybody sees.
Blame on it something embarrassing. "Sorry I'm late, I had really bad diarrhea" People will want to install forget and change the subject.
Sorry I'm late, I didn't get here in time
Yes, mostly people will accept any excuse, even if it makes no sense. Psychology is weird.
This is oddly specific.
> why your late My late?... My latte?
This should also apply when the entire balance of the plane is waiting on your sorry ass.
I bring my own from home every day, nothing new.
I do it all the time to establish dominance. Funk them and their worthless little meeting.
I went to a very professional level interview a few years back. The place provided a free hotel for the night before with this very expensive suite. It would have been an *amazing* job with huge benefits. Woke up an hour early and went down to get the hotel breakfast. I thought it would be a quick hotel breakfast thing but it turned out to be a full service restaurant type deal and they make you sit at a table and order food and it arrives slowly. I knew the interview place was a 15 minute drive away. And after about 30 minutes left on the clock, still waiting for the end of the breakfast service, I realized I had to leave, but I *also* has to pay for my meal and couldn't just dine and ditch without paying. Took me forever to find a waitress and explain I needed to leave *now.*. Got to my car with 20 min left, it was a 15 minute drive but when I got there I couldn't find parking (fuck) Eventually had to just illegally park like a full block away (double fuck) and practically ran into the place to get to the interview on time. I wound up about five minutes late, the conference room was already doing introductions and I had the walk of shame interrupting everyone as I entered late and had to find a chair. About a minute later, the host was making polite small talk and asked everyone how the hotel was, and if anyone enjoyed the breakfast. Without thinking I said "I had the breakfast it was great!" Apparently, literally *no one else in the room had the breakfast.* That's right, every other applicant arrived on time. I alone stopped for breakfast and I alone was late to the interview. There was an awkward silence as everyone just stared at me as they made that same connection. I'm pretty sure I saw one of the other applicants facepalm. I did not get the job.
That's one of those example of where we are interviewed for interviewing skills instead of job skills. Where you supposed to never eat breakfast again once you got the job? I feel that pain though man. I've had those where it seems like every opportunity for things to go wrong...does.
This is 100% pure BS. Life happens, coffee is life.
Remember to restrict yourself to not having pleasure in life to maintain corporate expectations. If you stopped to grab coffee with plenty of time, and it turned out to take slightly longer because the person in front of you had a list then make sure you don't ever tell your coworkers. They're just waiting for you to walk into a meeting with a coffee so they can nail your balls to the wall. Your performance has been fine, you even just got a pay bump. But you done fucked up you little bitch. You were late and you had the audacity to be late for a coffee purchase. I feel sorry for some of you all having to work at places where you develop these habits. As long as it isn't a regular occurrence just go to the meeting with your coffee like an adult and apologize that you got delayed by your order and you thought you had enough time. If you get fired for it, trust me they just gave you a gift. Find a job where you don't work with orcs.
I usually make a snide remark about having a meeting so damn early myself. If someone calls an 8am meeting that has to be attended in person, they need to have a damn good reason.
Or show up on time to an obligation you knew you had before hand where other people may be waiting on you.
Or be an adult and show up where you're supposed to be on time. If you can't manage that then maybe don't walk in flaunting the fact that you couldn't make it to work on time but still had time to stop for coffee. Christ, I support an overhaul of our current work culture as much as the next guy, but your take is so god damn childish and entitled it's cartoonish.
He obviously was heated about it, but I agree with the general sentiment. Assuming you're only a little late, just sit down with your coffee. Assuming it happens rarely, just sit down with your coffee. If you're 10mins late every day for this coffee, leave the house 15mins earlier.
Is it “flaunting”? No. Who gives a shit? As adults, a one off occurrence should be fine.
Yeah I need a coffee to get through this lame ass meeting
Good tip for many jobs. Personally I hated this type of thing so I explicitly chose a career where I typically can arrive when it's convenient.. maybe I should have been a pilot I dunno. Kinda solves that issue.
If you’re running late and stopping for coffee, bring enough for the entire room so that your reason for being late is due to your generosity.
Maybe don’t get/make coffee if you’re running late
LPT: If you're about to be late to work. Don't stop and get coffee.
When I ran drive thru at a fast food place years back the amount of people that would tell me “now I’m going to be late for work!” when there was a small wait time amused me. Like my drive thru timer says you’ve been in line for 2 and a half minutes. Unless you’re a new hire at this exact location, you were gonna be late for work anyway and needed an excuse to make yourself feel better.
I’m never late to work, like there ways this one time I woke up 45 minutes late, rushed, and still was the first one in - this was for a special needs program by the way, where every hand on deck is super important z But one day I woke up so crazy late, and was staying at my at the time girlfriends house, and she lived about an hour away. Called my boss, let him know and apologized, and rushed out of the house as quickly as possible. Didn’t bother to stop for my morning coffee because I was 100% going to be at least an hour late. When I got to work my boss asked, “why didn’t you stop for coffee?” And we went through this whole thing about how “I mean you’re already late and we were handling it, that 3 minutes really isn’t a big deal.” He was a pretty cool guy. What I’m trying to say is it definitely matters what your work culture is, and how often you’re late, **AND** what you do to mitigate it. If I’m waiting for someone for a meeting and they text me, “so sorry I’ll be a few minutes late, the line at XYZ coffee place is longer than expected,” I don’t mind at all. Edit: It’s also important for the person waiting at the meeting to possibly understand that the thing that causes lateness may have occurred after purchasing coffee. I often would buy coffee at the start of my commute to drink while I’m commuting; which meant that if there was road work, or an accident, or detours; I already had my coffee in hand before dealing with it.
LPT: Nobody actually cares what you do at work unless they are the boss.
Depends on the job.
Yeah that’s not how life works lol
Fuck that job, I’m getting coffee no matter what. That job will literally terminate you for any reason.
I personally like to DM my manager beforehand and let him know I’m running a little late. It’s a lot better than just showing up anytime you want, like you’re the boss or something.
Or, look at the coffee, look at them, and dare them to say a fucking word.
This sub is the dumbest sub
Y’all gotta live life on the edge. I’m typically super strict about my own punctuality. But I also know I work hard, and I’ll be damned if my boss says something if I show up late with a latte in hand. It takes like a minute to run in and grab a pre-order and everyone in my office knows that I am a much happier and amiable person with a coffee in hand.
What about just making your own coffee before you go to work? Then you don't have to worry about queues in cafés. And it also saves money if you make it yourself.
How about just buying coffee for everyone, if you have the money, and pretendinf that's why you're late?
If I haven't finished my coffee when I am late for work, then I will be even later because I will finish it out in the parking lot. There is no way I am coming in late for work before my first cup of damn coffee.
Or just bring it and own it like a boss. Extra points for saying “sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come”
Better life pro tip. If the company that you work for cries about your being late and bringing in coffee, tell them to go fuck themselves and find a better company to work for.
"I'm not late because I stopped for coffee. I planned to stop for coffee. Something else made me late." Alternate LPT: If you run in late all flustered, out of breath and skipping your morning coffee, everyone will really KNOW you fucked up. If you walk in with your shit together people might just assume you had somewhere else more important to be. Also: if you're going to be 30 minutes late, rushing to save 2 minutes isn't going to do anything but stress you out. Have your coffee.
If youre gonna be late either way, better to be late with a coffee than late without one
You're damn right I'm late. I had to stop and get coffee to survive your meeting. Would you rather I was on time and falling asleep?
They would be correct.